WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.160 --> 00:00:04.480 Hi, everybody, welcome to tea time with the Amy and Bev. 2 00:00:05.160 --> 00:00:06.440 How's it going, girl. 3 00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:11.320 It's going, it's going. It's going good. Man, Yeah, I 4 00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:12.320 would say life. 5 00:00:12.119 --> 00:00:12.640 Is going good. 6 00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:16.960 It's I have more clarity, and clarity makes things feel 7 00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:22.399 a little bit different, a lot different, true. So I'm 8 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:24.120 just kind of playing that with that, and then really 9 00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:26.000 we've kind of finished off with the last thing. But 10 00:00:26.079 --> 00:00:28.679 really being my own cheerleader, really learning to love my 11 00:00:28.719 --> 00:00:30.559 own self, learning what that looks like. 12 00:00:31.320 --> 00:00:33.039 Maybe it's sitting and massaging my feet. 13 00:00:33.079 --> 00:00:35.479 Maybe it's sitting and watching TikTok for a little bit, 14 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:37.399 if that's what makes me feel good, you know, if 15 00:00:37.880 --> 00:00:40.640 it's whatever. Because I always set my intentions before I 16 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:42.799 do any that stuff anyways, Like I want bring me 17 00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:45.079 the best information I could possibly use at this time. 18 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:47.520 That's good, you know, for the greatest good or whatever. 19 00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:49.560 So I like to do a lot of that stuff. 20 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:54.640 So I'm really learning how to walk with myself, be 21 00:00:54.719 --> 00:00:58.200 happy with myself, not judge myself because I didn't do 22 00:00:58.240 --> 00:01:01.439 what somebody else wanted me to do, walk through the 23 00:01:01.479 --> 00:01:04.640 processes of you know, feeling feeling the guilt from the 24 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:07.640 old patterns from childhood because I'm not doing what I 25 00:01:07.959 --> 00:01:10.560 what I think someone else what expects of me, right 26 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:13.879 reading their mind. I've recognized millions of times now that 27 00:01:13.959 --> 00:01:15.480 I think I must have had to read my mom's 28 00:01:15.480 --> 00:01:19.280 mind a lot at being a kid or those around me, 29 00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:23.040 and then knowing that I could do all those things, 30 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:25.040 and then cutting it all off, you know, later on, 31 00:01:25.159 --> 00:01:27.640 not even recognizing how I cut myself off from all that, 32 00:01:28.120 --> 00:01:31.799 but I did. It wasn't It's not was not anybody else. 33 00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:36.079 Because yet, as a child, I could have chose something different. 34 00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:39.719 I really could have been a lot in a lot 35 00:01:39.760 --> 00:01:43.760 of different perspectives. I could have chose things differently. 36 00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:44.319 Maybe I did. 37 00:01:44.359 --> 00:01:46.280 At the time, I know that I chose the best 38 00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:49.040 that I possibly could. But now I look back and 39 00:01:49.480 --> 00:01:51.799 I know that we can change a lot of those experiences, 40 00:01:51.879 --> 00:01:55.840 which you also kind of touched on last video. We 41 00:01:55.879 --> 00:01:57.959 can change a lot of those experiences just by how 42 00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:02.599 we perceive it. So because from the child perspective, our 43 00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:08.400 perception was a little bit more Mom, he keeps poking me, 44 00:02:08.680 --> 00:02:11.000 or she keeps picking on me, So we're tattle telling 45 00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:14.479 them because we're blaming somebody else instead of realizing that 46 00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:16.560 our energy was in the space at that time that 47 00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:22.000 actually welcome that kind of behavior, not even knowing. I 48 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:24.520 think if I when I come back again, because if 49 00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:26.960 I do, I'm going to come back to parents that 50 00:02:27.400 --> 00:02:30.199 are already aware of all this stuff and then help 51 00:02:30.280 --> 00:02:33.400 grow and nurture all these abilities instead of having to 52 00:02:33.400 --> 00:02:35.960 go the opposite direction of like, yeah, I think I 53 00:02:36.039 --> 00:02:37.599 signed up because I want to go ahead and do 54 00:02:37.639 --> 00:02:41.759 it the hard way. And yeah, that's and so I did. 55 00:02:42.759 --> 00:02:46.159 Girl, you mean both. I think that's what the gen 56 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:51.479 X gen X generation is all about. It was funny 57 00:02:51.479 --> 00:02:54.319 because I did this morning watched a TikTok video about 58 00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:59.520 gen X and how we were when we were growing up. 59 00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:04.919 He started out with, Yeah, we're waking up. Gen X 60 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:07.439 is waking up. We want to We're tired, we want 61 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:09.759 to rest, we want to recover. 62 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:10.960 But you. 63 00:03:12.520 --> 00:03:14.840 People, I'm gonna use nice words. You people are not 64 00:03:14.919 --> 00:03:17.039 making it easiest for us, and we have to wake 65 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:20.199 back up. But you're talking about a generation that was right. 66 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:22.199 And then he goes through the whole thing about what 67 00:03:22.319 --> 00:03:29.520 our generation did growing up, complete survival skills, like we 68 00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:33.439 were you know, our road rash as a badge of honor, 69 00:03:33.560 --> 00:03:35.759 and you know we sucked it. Up and we just 70 00:03:35.840 --> 00:03:39.400 kept on playing on the asphalt like all the things, 71 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:42.159 Like I can just totally rattle off the things that 72 00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:44.759 we did as you know, when I was grown up, 73 00:03:44.800 --> 00:03:52.000 and and anyway it is, it's like we are, we're tired, 74 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:54.960 we want to rest. We are here, we are in 75 00:03:55.080 --> 00:03:59.719 our healing phase now, but very easily we can go 76 00:03:59.800 --> 00:04:03.960 right back into survival and and you know, we don't 77 00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:06.639 give up. And that's one of the biggest things is 78 00:04:06.680 --> 00:04:12.319 that we were taught to persevere no matter what, no 79 00:04:12.360 --> 00:04:15.360 matter what. And that's one of the things that I 80 00:04:15.400 --> 00:04:19.240 am grateful that I had instilled in me is is 81 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:24.399 you you keep showing up. And my spirit, girl, my 82 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:28.600 spirit was strong in that department because there were so 83 00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:31.160 many times I wanted to throw in the town and 84 00:04:31.199 --> 00:04:33.759 say I am done, and I thought about every way 85 00:04:33.959 --> 00:04:39.759 possible to not be here. It was a couple people 86 00:04:39.800 --> 00:04:43.639 in my life, not by direct conversation, but just thinking 87 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:48.319 about them that kept me here. And that's to me 88 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:53.279 is perseverance, like you you will keep going and you 89 00:04:53.360 --> 00:04:56.399 will figure this out. And yeah it sucks right now, 90 00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:59.519 but you're gonna you're gonna get through it. 91 00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:02.879 Yeah, we just plowed through it like that was there 92 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:03.720 was no other way. 93 00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:05.959 I mean, even though like you said, there was sometimes 94 00:05:05.959 --> 00:05:09.639 it was like laying down crying or you know, I 95 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:11.399 walked a lot of the same path that you did, 96 00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:14.040 you know, trying, you know, not wanting to be here. 97 00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:17.639 But somehow I always feel like there was angels around me. 98 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:20.399 And I didn't even understand that until fully, until later 99 00:05:20.439 --> 00:05:22.959 on almost flipping my car. There was like so many 100 00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:26.160 things that because you know, I was one of those 101 00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:30.120 kind of rebellious teenagers. So yeah, thank god it was 102 00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:32.639 a small town. But it's s stame. I always feel 103 00:05:32.639 --> 00:05:35.439 like there was something that was there guiding and protecting, 104 00:05:35.480 --> 00:05:38.240 even though I didn't understand right right. 105 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:41.199 And you know, so when you say be my own cheerleader, 106 00:05:42.120 --> 00:05:46.120 there are so many things. I didn't have this vocabulary, 107 00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:50.560 be my own cheerleader, or self love or angels or 108 00:05:50.600 --> 00:05:55.480 guides or you know, energy. You didn't have all that 109 00:05:55.519 --> 00:05:58.079 when we were growing up, none of it. The only 110 00:05:58.120 --> 00:06:01.920 thing we knew of was uh, friends going to church, 111 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:04.240 and I didn't go to church, like my family didn't 112 00:06:04.279 --> 00:06:09.879 go to church and U so but back then though, 113 00:06:09.879 --> 00:06:13.079 it was more on the guilt tripping side of what 114 00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:15.879 was taught in church. I think it's starting to transform. 115 00:06:15.959 --> 00:06:20.480 Now I'm not sure. I still don't go. Uh, but 116 00:06:20.720 --> 00:06:22.399 to be my own cheerleader, I don't know what the 117 00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:25.759 hell that meant. I was like, I would look at 118 00:06:25.800 --> 00:06:28.800 you and be like, what are you talking about? You know, 119 00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:32.920 this sucks, this is what I'm facing, and have not 120 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:38.680 a clue what this actually meant. Be my own cheerleader. No, 121 00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:42.680 it's my mom's job, it's my you know, biological dad 122 00:06:42.720 --> 00:06:46.160 who I've never met, it's my stepdad's, it's my grandparents' job. 123 00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:48.079 It's like all these other people need to be cheering 124 00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:52.160 me on because but you know what, if if any 125 00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:55.759 of them, even the people in my life, if any 126 00:06:55.800 --> 00:07:02.319 of them knew the things the journey I walk, they 127 00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:08.000 would probably be surprised that I am still here. It's like, 128 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:13.240 and it's it's it's not just the physical stuff. It 129 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:18.639 is the mental and emotional stuff that I endured in myself, 130 00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:22.160 and that the pain and agony and suffering that I 131 00:07:22.319 --> 00:07:26.560 caused myself in my head because I didn't know how 132 00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:27.720 else to deal with it. 133 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:29.959 Yeah. 134 00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:33.759 So for that, yeah, so for that today, Yeah, I 135 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:36.199 am my own cheerleader. I look in the mirror and say, 136 00:07:36.199 --> 00:07:39.120 you know what, you're doing a great job. You might 137 00:07:39.160 --> 00:07:42.199 be you might be feeling some frustration and irritation right now, 138 00:07:42.199 --> 00:07:44.879 but you know what, at least you're not going out 139 00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:47.600 to the bar and getting smashed and then getting up 140 00:07:47.600 --> 00:07:50.759 tomorrow and doing the same thing. Like, yeah, you know, 141 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:54.560 there there's so many things that I do. I look 142 00:07:54.600 --> 00:07:58.720 in the mirror and I'm like, man, you're you are 143 00:07:58.800 --> 00:08:03.600 doing amazing compared to and I can only compare myself 144 00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:06.439 to who I used to be, compared to where you were, 145 00:08:06.439 --> 00:08:10.600 and compared to where you are now. Girls, you are 146 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:16.040 freaking dynamic, right, So it's like, yeah, talking to ourselves 147 00:08:16.040 --> 00:08:16.519 about that. 148 00:08:17.879 --> 00:08:21.160 And I've been doing that otherwise, waiting around for someone 149 00:08:21.160 --> 00:08:23.199 else to cheer lead to. You know, when I was 150 00:08:23.240 --> 00:08:26.319 growing up because I was I was a black sheeper, 151 00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:27.439 the rebellious child. 152 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:30.120 How come you can't just cook good grades like your sister? 153 00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:31.959 How come you can't just do this? How can you mean? 154 00:08:32.039 --> 00:08:33.600 It's like I was never meant to do any of 155 00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:37.080 those things. And it's not anything against anybody at all. 156 00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:39.559 It's just if I was waiting for them to cheer 157 00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:41.279 me on, they weren't gonna cheer me on. 158 00:08:41.399 --> 00:08:42.759 Well, I wasn't getting them things to. 159 00:08:42.759 --> 00:08:46.080 Cheer me on about, really, because I was having my 160 00:08:46.120 --> 00:08:50.360 own battle insight always. And so if we wait around 161 00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:52.480 for something like that, we're always gonna be waiting, and 162 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:55.320 then we're always gonna be feeling like we weren't good 163 00:08:55.399 --> 00:08:58.080 enough or we didn't you know. I was even just 164 00:08:58.120 --> 00:09:01.600 talking yesterday about you know, I was always picked over. 165 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:05.440 You know, I was, Oh, she's too white, she's too this, 166 00:09:05.759 --> 00:09:09.720 she's too that, too tall, too, whatever, all these things. 167 00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:12.399 When I was growing up, I was always it seemed, 168 00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:16.080 in a relationship standpoint, and it's like that kind of 169 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:19.039 those were patterns, and it's like I was carrying that 170 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:22.200 along with me still, and it's like those are patterns. 171 00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:24.960 And when I look at it as a pattern, I 172 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:27.039 don't have to carry it anymore. It doesn't for me. 173 00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:31.240 It's like it totally disables. It's it's just a pattern. 174 00:09:31.519 --> 00:09:35.320 I don't have to continue walking that path anymore. And 175 00:09:35.320 --> 00:09:37.840 then I do, like you said, I do. I'd never 176 00:09:37.879 --> 00:09:39.639 did it before, but I do it now, and I'll 177 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:41.279 get in the mirror and I talk to myself and 178 00:09:41.320 --> 00:09:46.080 I say things to myself, and it's pretty fascinating when 179 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:48.960 you start doing that stuff because you start noticing that 180 00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:54.759 the reflection is changing the more you start talking to yourself. Yeah, 181 00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:59.039 there's something there, so much bigger. It makes my eyes water, 182 00:09:59.399 --> 00:10:01.600 makes me feel a little bit of emotions. It's like, eh, 183 00:10:01.639 --> 00:10:03.679 they see me or she sees me. 184 00:10:04.039 --> 00:10:06.200 Yeah, I've been here the whole time. 185 00:10:06.480 --> 00:10:09.200 Yeah, And it's the alignment right when we feel like 186 00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:11.080 things are going crazy, like when we were talking in 187 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:14.039 the last video, when there's a couple you know timeframe 188 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:17.039 that we're filling all these feelings that aren't feeling you know, 189 00:10:17.080 --> 00:10:21.679 feelings of angst instead of feeling joyful and happy. It's 190 00:10:21.960 --> 00:10:23.919 it kind of holds us back. It kind of keeps 191 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:27.519 us stuck in that space, and it's it's an unnecessary 192 00:10:29.080 --> 00:10:32.720 it's unnecessary. We do it to ourselves, and it's just 193 00:10:32.759 --> 00:10:35.720 to be in that process of recognizing again they're just patterns. 194 00:10:35.720 --> 00:10:37.360 How can I let I mean, it's and then you 195 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:39.600 ask your questions, how can I let this go? But 196 00:10:39.639 --> 00:10:42.759 for me, like I said, I've just made it more neutral, 197 00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:46.320 And I say that's a pattern. Oh that's I just 198 00:10:46.360 --> 00:10:50.320 received information. Oh that's a pattern, that's my thoughts. So 199 00:10:50.360 --> 00:10:52.879 it's like I'm kind of returning the power back to 200 00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:57.279 myself and then being able to by doing that, now 201 00:10:57.320 --> 00:10:57.679 I'm like. 202 00:10:57.639 --> 00:10:58.720 Oh, you're doing a great job. 203 00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:00.559 So now I'm can get in from the mirror and 204 00:11:00.600 --> 00:11:02.200 tell myself I'm doing a great job. 205 00:11:02.840 --> 00:11:04.279 But I can totally see everything. 206 00:11:04.320 --> 00:11:06.919 Like I said, started to say, I can totally see everything. 207 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:11.240 My eyes changed, the light in my eyes changed, the reflection, 208 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:14.720 the my complexion, everything starts to shift. 209 00:11:15.159 --> 00:11:17.000 Things are starting to change. 210 00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:19.480 Just by It's like just by taking that time to 211 00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:21.440 acknowledge yourself. And I'm saying this now because I'm kind 212 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:24.120 of surprised too, because I have noticed these things and 213 00:11:24.159 --> 00:11:26.960 it's like, that's all it took. Was that's that's self love. 214 00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:29.320 That's like, that's part of it. I mean, that's one 215 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:31.799 of the one of the pieces of it. But us 216 00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:33.879 being at eble to even look at yourself in the mirror. 217 00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:35.879 We're talking to it Gal yesterday that she would be 218 00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:37.759 talking and she'd look, you know, look up in a way, 219 00:11:37.759 --> 00:11:40.039 and it's like, I remember those days. 220 00:11:40.039 --> 00:11:41.519 And I even told her about I said. 221 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:43.720 Hey, I went through this retreat one time, and I 222 00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:46.879 said it really it really changed a lot of things 223 00:11:46.919 --> 00:11:49.080 because I said, we had to sit with our knees 224 00:11:49.120 --> 00:11:52.320 touching someone else and sit across from a person touching 225 00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:54.480 their face looking him in the eyes the whole time. 226 00:11:54.519 --> 00:11:56.480 And that was not a process for me. That was 227 00:11:56.519 --> 00:11:59.039 not my pattern, because my pattern was to look away, 228 00:11:59.320 --> 00:12:01.840 don't look into don't look into their eyes for too long, 229 00:12:01.879 --> 00:12:04.840 You're gonna die. I don't know what I was thinking, 230 00:12:04.919 --> 00:12:06.879 but it's I tried to avoid a lot of those things. 231 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:11.240 So, yeah, it's really been a journey. 232 00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:16.440 Well, and now we go back and look at all 233 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:19.360 those experiences where those people were not cheering us on. 234 00:12:20.120 --> 00:12:22.440 First of all, they didn't know how to right. They're 235 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:24.320 all trying to figure life out too, and how to 236 00:12:24.399 --> 00:12:28.519 raise children, and nobody gets the playbook on that. But 237 00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:33.799 in that we have learned how to do it ourselves. 238 00:12:33.879 --> 00:12:36.799 And so instead of trying to rely on other people 239 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:41.240 to cheer us on, we learned to do it ourselves 240 00:12:41.720 --> 00:12:48.960 self acceptance, and when somebody is cheering you on, somebody 241 00:12:49.080 --> 00:12:51.720 does give you kudos. Somebody says, hey, you are doing 242 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:54.559 a good job, or or hey, I like the way 243 00:12:54.840 --> 00:13:01.919 when somebody compliments you. Typically, even to these days, I've 244 00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:07.519 reached higher milestones and I have been receiving awards and stuff, 245 00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:09.799 and people are coming up and congratulating me and all this, 246 00:13:09.919 --> 00:13:13.200 and still inside me, I feel the discomfort of receiving 247 00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:18.039 those compliments. And that's what we do, right. We might 248 00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:21.200 cheer ourselves on, but when somebody outside of us reflects 249 00:13:21.240 --> 00:13:24.720 that too and and compliments us and cheers us on, 250 00:13:25.080 --> 00:13:26.879 we don't know how to receive it from other people 251 00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:29.480 because we didn't have it before in our life. That 252 00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:33.759 is a pattern. Now it's okay for me to do it, 253 00:13:33.799 --> 00:13:35.679 just like it was okay for me to beat myself 254 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:39.679 up and put myself down. But when somebody outside of me, 255 00:13:40.519 --> 00:13:44.240 a friend, a coworker, a family member, a spouse, a child, 256 00:13:44.919 --> 00:13:49.519 compliments me or says something negative about me, it's not okay. Right. 257 00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:51.679 We push it away. We're like, you can't do that. 258 00:13:51.679 --> 00:13:54.840 That's not comfortable. I don't know what that But internally, 259 00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:59.919 what our system or subconscious mind and our body is 260 00:14:00.039 --> 00:14:03.519 saying is we're not used to this. We're not used 261 00:14:03.559 --> 00:14:06.080 to being acknowledged for good things. We're not used to 262 00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:11.559 having somebody see us for the things that we are 263 00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:14.679 doing that are good, right, because we always got in trouble, 264 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.480 and now somebody seeing us for something that we're doing good, 265 00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:20.559 and we still don't know how to receive that compliment. 266 00:14:20.759 --> 00:14:26.399 So it is it's it's again, it's unlearning the way 267 00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:32.159 we've been learning a new process. Learning to receive is huge. 268 00:14:32.919 --> 00:14:38.480 A compliment is a receiving, a receiving of a gift. 269 00:14:38.519 --> 00:14:41.639 A compliment is a gift. And so learning to receive 270 00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:45.759 the gifts and be okay with that, to receive with 271 00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:49.279 gratitude instead of push it away and oh no, it's okay. 272 00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:54.639 Oh you didn't have to say that. Oh thanks, But 273 00:14:54.639 --> 00:14:57.240 these are the things that we typically do because it's 274 00:14:57.279 --> 00:15:02.200 uncomfortable to our system and I like our parasympathetic nervous system. 275 00:15:02.600 --> 00:15:05.000 It's uncomfortable. We don't know how to be in that 276 00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:13.000 space of receiving compliments and and and so it's like, okay, 277 00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:17.000 well you practice in the mirror by being your own cheerleader. 278 00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:20.799 And when you are focused on that, when you are 279 00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:24.080 focused on when I am focused on the things that 280 00:15:24.159 --> 00:15:30.279 I see in myself that are great qualities, good behaviors, 281 00:15:30.360 --> 00:15:34.879 whatever we want to title them, then people outside of 282 00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:38.360 us will start reflecting that too, and they see that 283 00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:41.039 stuff within you and they voice it to you, and 284 00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:45.039 it's a like a validation or confirmation of what you're 285 00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:49.120 seeing in yourself. So it's like, yes, of course they're 286 00:15:49.159 --> 00:15:50.840 going to see that in you because you see it 287 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:56.879 in you. And so now you're training yourself to treat 288 00:15:56.919 --> 00:15:59.600 yourself in a better way, which means that people outside 289 00:15:59.639 --> 00:16:01.960 of you are gonna do the same thing. They're gonna 290 00:16:01.960 --> 00:16:05.320 mirror your behavior towards yourself. That is what we do. 291 00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:10.360 It's an energetic manifestation, and we attract the people to 292 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:13.320 see what we see within ourselves. So if you are 293 00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:17.399 putting yourself down in your thoughts and you're beating yourself 294 00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:19.759 up for things that you've done and do it, of 295 00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:21.480 course people are going to show up to tell you 296 00:16:21.519 --> 00:16:24.720 those same things. You're a piece of shit, you're worthless, 297 00:16:25.080 --> 00:16:27.519 you're dumb, you're an idiot. Like, they're going to show 298 00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:29.600 up and say the same things. But it's not okay 299 00:16:29.639 --> 00:16:32.360 that they do it because they don't have the right 300 00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:36.159 to do that. Well, they are mirroring what you're doing 301 00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:39.559 to yourself. This is what we do for each other. 302 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:41.519 That's right. 303 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:44.360 So back to the gratitude, Thank you, gay, I've got 304 00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:47.559 goosebumps on that. So yeah, I'm in agreeance with it 305 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:49.639 as well. It rings this truth for. 306 00:16:49.639 --> 00:16:55.720 Me, and it's it's a reminder for myself as well, 307 00:16:57.000 --> 00:17:02.600 because inside, you know, I've recently received a prestigious award 308 00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:08.640 and afterwards, people are coming up to me saying, congratulations. 309 00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:14.400 Your speech resonated with me. I I appreciate the things 310 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:18.079 that you like. I'm just like, this is unfamiliar territory 311 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:21.240 for me. I've not ever been in this position before, 312 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:24.799 and now I have to program my system, my parasympathetic 313 00:17:24.839 --> 00:17:28.960 nervous system to be to feel safe and okay, that's 314 00:17:28.960 --> 00:17:32.960 on me. Yeah, And it's and when you're doing things 315 00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:37.000 that are unfamiliar, your body is reacting in ways that 316 00:17:37.640 --> 00:17:40.319 you're like, what is happening right now? I don't know 317 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:42.359 right well? 318 00:17:42.480 --> 00:17:44.799 And am trying to process it with the old patterns 319 00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:47.079 right with those with these new feelings, and there's like 320 00:17:47.119 --> 00:17:49.599 the new feelings are you can't process it with the 321 00:17:49.640 --> 00:17:50.160 old patterns. 322 00:17:50.200 --> 00:17:51.599 It doesn't work right. 323 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:56.720 And you have to learn to train yourself to say, 324 00:17:56.799 --> 00:18:00.640 and I do this on a regular basis. I am okay, 325 00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:06.960 and I am safe even with things that are good. 326 00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:12.400 People complimenting me is good, it's good. I just am 327 00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:17.519 learning to receive it in a different way. So I 328 00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:22.720 have to train myself. I have to program myself that 329 00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:27.039 this is a space to be okay in and be safe. Yeah, 330 00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:30.200 you know what we are such I say at all 331 00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:34.160 the time. We are interesting creatures. We are so interesting, 332 00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:37.960 and you gotta just learn to know. You gotta learn 333 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.640 the operations. No different than a computer. The computer has 334 00:18:40.759 --> 00:18:45.640 back ends, right, the cookies, the cash, the programs that 335 00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:48.400 are running in the background, like, it has all these things. 336 00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:50.720 And if you don't know about them, or you don't 337 00:18:50.759 --> 00:18:52.839 know how to clear it up or do it, then 338 00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:57.960 your computer goes all wonky, it slows down, it you 339 00:18:58.039 --> 00:19:02.519 get you get malware, you get all these things. Like 340 00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:08.079 things happen if you don't know the system or you 341 00:19:08.119 --> 00:19:13.079 don't get somebody to help you with your system. And 342 00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:16.799 that's what we are. Only we're human. We are so 343 00:19:17.559 --> 00:19:23.079 like a computer system. We're so in parallel with a 344 00:19:23.119 --> 00:19:27.400 computer system. And when when you get frustrated with your 345 00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:31.440 computer or it's working dynamically and the internet's great and 346 00:19:31.480 --> 00:19:36.079 all the things, recognize how you see that within yourself 347 00:19:36.839 --> 00:19:41.559 it's the same. But the thing is, we can change 348 00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:45.160 our programming, we can change our systems. 349 00:19:45.400 --> 00:19:46.599 But we have to do that. 350 00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:50.400 That's one hundred percent. And I do think that we 351 00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:52.759 are quite similar as computers. And I have recently even 352 00:19:52.759 --> 00:19:55.119 thought about, oh, mustle downloaded the virus? 353 00:19:55.559 --> 00:19:56.160 You know what I mean. 354 00:19:56.279 --> 00:19:58.920 It's because we get around people and we don't recognize 355 00:19:58.960 --> 00:20:01.519 how much we can kind of settle into their energy 356 00:20:02.119 --> 00:20:04.200 and then we bring it home with us, we walk 357 00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:06.519 around with it, and so we don't recognize that. But 358 00:20:06.599 --> 00:20:08.319 it is it's the same thing. So when you said that, 359 00:20:08.359 --> 00:20:11.119 I was like, that's right. I mean, I just probably 360 00:20:11.160 --> 00:20:12.400 the last couple of weeks had. 361 00:20:12.359 --> 00:20:13.519 Recognized the viruses. 362 00:20:13.559 --> 00:20:15.599 I never thought about the viruses before, but I thought 363 00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:18.359 about defragmentation and you know, having to go in and 364 00:20:18.400 --> 00:20:21.000 clean up the system because it's you got files laying 365 00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:24.680 all over the place, and you can see that externally 366 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:27.880 in your house, you know, you can see it. It's 367 00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:31.559 you're outside. Is the reflection of the inside, Like you said, 368 00:20:31.640 --> 00:20:35.319 the people that show up. How you're talking to yourself now, 369 00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:37.079 it's making me want to go like every day being 370 00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:39.119 the mirror. Like you're doing such a great job. 371 00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:40.640 You know. 372 00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:43.359 The thing is we've what my mind has just kind 373 00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:46.079 of showed me is we've seen like movies and stuff 374 00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:48.279 like that of the guy the person doing the cellf 375 00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:51.160 help book, You're amazing, You're awesome, and then some other 376 00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:53.680 people being liked all the ego, you're freaking awesome, and 377 00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:55.160 you know, walking through all. 378 00:20:55.759 --> 00:20:57.640 Pompous and stuff like that. That's what kind of what 379 00:20:57.759 --> 00:20:58.400 flashes in my head. 380 00:20:58.440 --> 00:21:00.400 And it's like, that's not even the true story, not 381 00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:03.200 for me, not coming from that space, but it's that's 382 00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:06.359 a pattern. There's a thing a thought there that thinks, oh, well, 383 00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:08.359 if I'm doing that, then I'm coming from my ego, 384 00:21:08.359 --> 00:21:10.680 and it's like it's not ego, you know by how 385 00:21:10.680 --> 00:21:11.279 it feels. 386 00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:14.799 So when you're in that mirror and cheering yourself on. 387 00:21:14.839 --> 00:21:17.039 For the day, like, man, you did such, you did 388 00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:20.279 so many great things today and and yesterday, and you've 389 00:21:20.279 --> 00:21:22.599 talked about it before, you know, reflecting on the things 390 00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:25.000 that you've done that were good throughout the day. And 391 00:21:25.039 --> 00:21:28.839 I've seen these videos talking to kids like tell me 392 00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:31.400 the great things that happen today. Because I'm even recognizing 393 00:21:31.480 --> 00:21:35.119 within my own family some of the little ones might 394 00:21:35.240 --> 00:21:38.680 be more on the negative side of and I say 395 00:21:38.680 --> 00:21:41.160 negative side, noticing the things that don't feel good all 396 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:41.559 day long. 397 00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:44.319 I'm like, oh, you're all smiling and great, you are 398 00:21:44.359 --> 00:21:45.079 you happy right now? 399 00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:45.279 Oh? 400 00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:45.599 Yeah? 401 00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:48.960