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<v Speaker 1>It's football.

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<v Speaker 2>The round one yeah, it's what they call an America

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<v Speaker 2>thacker soccer ball.

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<v Speaker 3>And the other one you're thinking of his hand egg,

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<v Speaker 3>which is that that long one?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's that actual sport.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, the gentleman's game. I was rather worried to see that.

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<v Speaker 2>I was watching the Gallagher Premiership Final between Northampton Saints

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<v Speaker 2>and Exeter Chiefs and even they stopped for hydration breaks.

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<v Speaker 2>Who the hell stops for a hydration break?

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<v Speaker 3>I stopped for a hydration break.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, that's called going to the pub? Is it is

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<v Speaker 2>strong with that?

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<v Speaker 1>I stopped for Hedgehogs.

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<v Speaker 3>That's a T shirt.

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<v Speaker 2>We're no longer Pride and I sat in the wood

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<v Speaker 2>and you sat in your Garrett Callum, So you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's it's quite bizarre that only this Richard, who I've

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<v Speaker 2>spent a huge amount of time with over you know,

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<v Speaker 2>seventy two hours with Prideau.

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<v Speaker 1>How was it for you, Weatherspoony?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah it was good. Well, I enjoyed myself. He was.

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<v Speaker 2>He was sounder than I expected, I'll be honest, I

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<v Speaker 2>expected when he emerged from his very dangerous looking truck

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<v Speaker 2>to sort of come hobbling towards me a bit like

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<v Speaker 2>mad Eye Moody from the Harry Potter films. Yet he

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<v Speaker 2>was disappointingly sound, which shows he's still got some young

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<v Speaker 2>and vitmum vigor left in him. Is it that?

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<v Speaker 3>Or is he just putting it on?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, it's probably that to be fair.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he didn't have a stick, which did worry me.

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<v Speaker 2>I imagined he would have a stick that he would

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<v Speaker 2>have made himself, like his age.

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<v Speaker 3>Two hundred years exactly. He probably feels like it.

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<v Speaker 2>Not really a stick as such, a staff I see

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<v Speaker 2>Richard Moore as a staff man. He would have a

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<v Speaker 2>staff which could help him to walk or could be

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<v Speaker 2>utilized as a weapon, you know, if any any given opportunity.

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<v Speaker 1>I do think we should bring back sort of the

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<v Speaker 1>blackthorn cudgel as an everyday carry item.

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<v Speaker 2>Isn't there some sort of day carry in Ireland? They

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<v Speaker 2>have fighting sticks, don't they? Shes and which I mean

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<v Speaker 2>are basically dangerous weapons.

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<v Speaker 3>But Hurley, so they're pretty good at fighting with those

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<v Speaker 3>as well.

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<v Speaker 2>If you, if.

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<v Speaker 3>You ever see them, get get involved.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah yeah, Actually I got a phone call from

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<v Speaker 2>a chap in Ireland who I know, asking if I

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<v Speaker 2>could help him sawce some ash trees for to make

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<v Speaker 2>early sticks. But it seems to be that actually how

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<v Speaker 2>you have to cut these ash is a little bit complicated.

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<v Speaker 2>Most of the forestry professionals I spoke to when I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to do that.

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<v Speaker 3>Why cricket cricket bats willow yet, Hurley's or ash? What?

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<v Speaker 1>What?

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<v Speaker 4>What?

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<v Speaker 3>Properties?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I mean, look, England has got it

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<v Speaker 2>nailed when it comes to cricket bats, because I think

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<v Speaker 2>it's about ninety eight percent of all cricket bats are

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<v Speaker 2>made from English willow. And the irishally got the same

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<v Speaker 2>problem as us with ash, and I don't know as

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<v Speaker 2>to weather. I would have thought it's probably the lightness

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<v Speaker 2>of the of the ash that probably would make a

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<v Speaker 2>hurly stick. But having only ever watched it drunk on TV,

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<v Speaker 2>I think twice and just thinking that looks like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>is it absolutely great? What is madness? Who on earth

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<v Speaker 2>would want to play hurling? It is, basically, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>to my English eyes, is a cross between well, just

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<v Speaker 2>a full stand up fight hockey and fighting hockey fight

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<v Speaker 2>and the bits of rubb be thrown in it's ats

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<v Speaker 2>and the madness madness crazy people, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So I think the sticks are ash because it's the narrower,

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<v Speaker 1>so they have to have some sort of the same

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<v Speaker 1>sort of density as and flexibility, but the more like

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<v Speaker 1>a tool handle, so you know, you get some axe

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<v Speaker 1>handles and tall handles are ash. So that's probably why,

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<v Speaker 1>because it's sort of a length width ratio thing going on.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that makes sense. But how you have to seem

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<v Speaker 2>to cut them is basically simulate the beaver and you

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<v Speaker 2>make a.

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<v Speaker 5>Sort of say simulate, simulate, not just stimulate, no, no,

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<v Speaker 5>simulate the beaver and you make your selling cut.

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<v Speaker 2>So you're digging with your saw right down into the

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<v Speaker 2>stump in a sort of well like a beaver would

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<v Speaker 2>sort of cut it out, and it looks like a

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<v Speaker 2>complete recipe for destroying your chain and bar and probably

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<v Speaker 2>landing a tree on you, which, sorry Richard, that is

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<v Speaker 2>is obviously and it's probably is that too soon.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a bit of a trigger triggering thing for me

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<v Speaker 1>now trigger warning.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry, yes, any road, What are we going to talk

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<v Speaker 2>about today? Because you know, it's it's football day to day,

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<v Speaker 2>isn't it. It is football day.

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<v Speaker 1>It's Tuesday. Just for everyone's sort of sense of time

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<v Speaker 1>and space, although.

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<v Speaker 3>Not not a really really really important football day, just

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<v Speaker 3>a jolly football day. So England game tonight.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean so anyway, so what are we going

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about today?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, we're not allowed really to talk about the very

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<v Speaker 1>recent Wigan coup sort of now we have a new leader.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's boring and we're not going to that's.

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<v Speaker 2>Dull, and it's dull because we have no idea what's

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<v Speaker 2>coming up the track. So therefore, goodbye kids, Starmer, Hello

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<v Speaker 2>Andy Burnham. Let's see what comes.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, I just of all the times to do it,

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<v Speaker 4>just randomly, just felt like it randomly start the week,

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<v Speaker 4>I'll go, you know, crumbled under zero pressure but didn't

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<v Speaker 4>crumble under actual pressure.

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<v Speaker 2>Fantastic, what a guy, I know, asterly bizarre. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>he's gone, goodbye, you will not be missed, So onto

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<v Speaker 2>more important things.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, have any of you been threatened with prosecution by

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<v Speaker 1>the Environment Agency this week?

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<v Speaker 3>Not this week?

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<v Speaker 1>Not this week?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I mean you'd have to be surely you know,

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<v Speaker 2>a great polluter or something to get prosecuted by the

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<v Speaker 2>Environment Agency, wouldn't you.

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<v Speaker 1>You'd think so, wouldn't you. So yes, who's going to

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<v Speaker 1>say it?

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<v Speaker 3>The man formerly in our nearly in our new year's

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<v Speaker 3>honors list, but not in the in the good bit.

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<v Speaker 3>In the good bit, Paul Pousland is in the news

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<v Speaker 3>this week and everywhere I go, I see a picture

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<v Speaker 3>of Paul Pousland and he's used like, you know, like

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<v Speaker 3>the Daily Mail said that says that freedom of speech

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<v Speaker 3>is no longer around. And you know, you come out

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<v Speaker 3>against I don't know, uh, you know, people doing bad

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<v Speaker 3>things and then you go to jail for saying anything. Yes,

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<v Speaker 3>well that's what Paul Powsland is currently being flouted as

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<v Speaker 3>someone that cleans up the river and now he's going

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<v Speaker 3>to go to jail. But they really like to miss

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<v Speaker 3>out all of the all of the finer details. And

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<v Speaker 3>some people go for it, but some people turn around

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<v Speaker 3>and say he should be given a medal. He's a

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<v Speaker 3>great guy. And I'm kind of one of them that's

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<v Speaker 3>still routing for Paul. I can't quite put him into

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<v Speaker 3>the camp of a terrible person. So can you explain,

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<v Speaker 3>one of the richards, what actually happened the incident that

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<v Speaker 3>has led to all of this. The man constantly cleaning

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<v Speaker 3>up the river roading that runs for the River Roading

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<v Speaker 3>Trust is what he runs. Yeah, give me some give

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<v Speaker 3>me some background, because I don't actually know that much

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<v Speaker 3>about the chat. Give me some background first, Who is

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<v Speaker 3>this guy and what does he do?

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<v Speaker 1>So he first came across my radar when I started

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<v Speaker 1>doing what is always the most useful thing to do

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<v Speaker 1>with your time, which is arguing with strangers on the internet.

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<v Speaker 1>Love that always solves everything. So I think it was

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<v Speaker 1>one that we were talking about right to Rome last

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<v Speaker 1>year or something like that. That's when the first sort

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<v Speaker 1>of came across him. Because he's quite into the right

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<v Speaker 1>to roam side of things as well, it seems. But

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<v Speaker 1>Paul Powersland, he is a barrister. I think he's founder

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<v Speaker 1>of Lawyers for Nature or something like that as well.

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<v Speaker 1>But he's he's very much an environmental campaigner and as

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<v Speaker 1>you say he's I think he's a trustee or chair

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<v Speaker 1>of the River Roading Trust, which is a they're not

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<v Speaker 1>a charity, they're charitably incorporated or instituted organization a c IO.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's a sort of a hybrid between a charity

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<v Speaker 1>and a business.

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<v Speaker 3>And they say that the River Roading is London's longest river,

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<v Speaker 3>is what they what they say, It runs quite it

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<v Speaker 3>runs through.

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<v Speaker 1>What about the teen a long way Wow, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't know that's what that's what the words mean.

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<v Speaker 6>That lasted London too, Yeah, but I don't think it's

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<v Speaker 6>the longest really cool so old father roading then, right,

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<v Speaker 6>So okay, so mister Powsland does that.

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<v Speaker 2>Runs this charity which is obviously not for profit gov

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<v Speaker 2>and what's he done?

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<v Speaker 1>So various things at various times. So it was just

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<v Speaker 1>in a fous Channel four documentary which was about sort

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<v Speaker 1>of gorilla cleaning up of riverbanks because various organizations and

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<v Speaker 1>landowners are not doing their due diligence of keeping the

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<v Speaker 1>river banks clear and free of litter and things like that.

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<v Speaker 1>A few people took exception to him in that particular

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<v Speaker 1>incident because well, for one, no one was wearing any

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<v Speaker 1>of the PPE or required PPE for doing the work

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<v Speaker 1>they were doing there. So a few of our forestry

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<v Speaker 1>and landscaping contractor fans of the podcast stopped eating crayons

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<v Speaker 1>for five seconds and got on there to point out

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<v Speaker 1>that actually there's a whole world of PPE and legislation

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<v Speaker 1>for using these tools in these places, which is one

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<v Speaker 1>of the things. But there I took more of an

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<v Speaker 1>exception to can.

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<v Speaker 3>I blind rank the argument for PPE? I mean, if

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<v Speaker 3>you're going to be doing gorilla clean up pp A,

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<v Speaker 3>sure it it's important you can.

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<v Speaker 2>You can if you want to do it yourself. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>if you want to put yourself in danger, put it

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<v Speaker 2>this way. If you choose to go and drink toilet duck,

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<v Speaker 2>then absolutely fine. But if you take a group of

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<v Speaker 2>individuals out and you say I'm going to take you

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<v Speaker 2>on I don't know, a pub tour of Burris and

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<v Speaker 2>Edmunds and say that I've decided not to take you

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<v Speaker 2>on a pub tour but here have this instead, and

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<v Speaker 2>you start feeding them toilet duck and then they all

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<v Speaker 2>end up dead, then yeah, it's your responsibility. Okay, So Richard,

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<v Speaker 2>tell me more, Tell me more. Because you run a

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<v Speaker 2>sea I see.

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<v Speaker 3>Was her responsible for a lot of people.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, if you are getting volunteers to come out

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<v Speaker 1>onto an activity or a thing that you're doing as

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<v Speaker 1>an organization, so like a charity, like a CIO, something

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<v Speaker 1>that is sort of a legally structured organization, you have

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<v Speaker 1>what is known as a duty of care. So you

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<v Speaker 1>are responsible for the some of the safety and well

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<v Speaker 1>being of people doing the things that you're asking them

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<v Speaker 1>to do. So come alonger support to this organization. We're

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<v Speaker 1>doing good by saying if you come here to do

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<v Speaker 1>this thing, you're doing good. You can't just say, well,

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<v Speaker 1>you're all adults. If you fall over and break your leg,

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<v Speaker 1>that's your problem. If you're saying what you need to

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<v Speaker 1>do is climb up over this fence, down this rickety

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<v Speaker 1>ladder onto this unstable bit of bank, sift through the

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<v Speaker 1>needles and broken glass and things like that, and try

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<v Speaker 1>not to stab yourself. If anything happens to one of

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<v Speaker 1>those volunteers, the fault lies partially with the person orizing

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<v Speaker 1>the activity. And this is not just something I've made

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<v Speaker 1>a part of the top of my head. This is

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<v Speaker 1>how every wildlife trust has to organize their volunteer days

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<v Speaker 1>or or the RSPB or something like that, and we

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<v Speaker 1>have to do it with our organization. And I think

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<v Speaker 1>we were talking about this the other day, Calum, and

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<v Speaker 1>you found something from the Anglers Association.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. So there is cases of people dying on work parties.

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<v Speaker 3>There's been a couple. One of them was I think

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<v Speaker 3>someone was using a chainsaw and a limb of a

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<v Speaker 3>tree fell on a guy and killed him. And they

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<v Speaker 3>got quite a big fine, but effectively he's turned up

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<v Speaker 3>on something out of out of wanting to help restore

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<v Speaker 3>the river or whatever it was, or I think it

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<v Speaker 3>was probably a lake to clear the lake that he's fishing,

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<v Speaker 3>And yeah, unfortunately this person's lost their life and obviously

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<v Speaker 3>wasn't wearing appropriate safety equipment. So yeah, I get it. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>it depends what they were doing. But I suppose if

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<v Speaker 3>they're using heavy machinery and chainsaws and it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Not even that callum is that? Is that the whole

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<v Speaker 2>point of why he wants to and you know, hats after.

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<v Speaker 2>I think when we gave him his New Year's honor,

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<v Speaker 2>he said that, well, I said, because I nominated him

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<v Speaker 2>for it, was that Actually what he's doing is admirable.

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<v Speaker 2>But I mean, the holes challenge with the river roading

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<v Speaker 2>is the fact that it is a very urban river

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<v Speaker 2>and the stretch which he's on is owned by a

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<v Speaker 2>private entity that the ripe Haarian rights are right now.

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<v Speaker 2>In a communication with him via X, I did say, well,

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<v Speaker 2>did you ask the owners if you could gain access?

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<v Speaker 2>And his reply he wasn't. Yes I did, and they

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<v Speaker 2>said no, he said, I wrote to them saying that

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<v Speaker 2>they could give us as in the river Roading's trust

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<v Speaker 2>the rights to this river. They could basically give us

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<v Speaker 2>this this river. So he didn't actually say can I

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<v Speaker 2>go in and clean it up? He just said give

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<v Speaker 2>it to me, and unsurprisingly the owners went, sorry, you

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<v Speaker 2>want me to give you a large bank of river

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<v Speaker 2>frontage in London? No, because you know, I mean, you

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<v Speaker 2>buy a shed in London and it costs you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you buy Euston Park estate for that, So unsurprising they

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<v Speaker 2>said no. So I don't actually know what the score

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<v Speaker 2>is when it comes to the riparian rights the banks

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<v Speaker 2>of it. He clearly has been in communication with him.

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<v Speaker 2>But because they said no, we're not going to give

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<v Speaker 2>you this, he took the hump. So he just went

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<v Speaker 2>out and did some gorilla citizen, you know, good neighborly stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>But he got a load of people and as Richard said,

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<v Speaker 2>you know that's where the problem comes. And is it

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<v Speaker 2>a big issue Richard, I mean, is it something that

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<v Speaker 2>actually is a big No?

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<v Speaker 1>Note the thing sort of there is not necessarily the

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<v Speaker 1>massive issue getting volunteers to do something dangerous. It's more

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<v Speaker 1>of a moral issue, and you're getting people to do

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<v Speaker 1>things based on your on goodwill of the activity rather

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<v Speaker 1>than your safety for them. And also you're sidestepping a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of the stuff that you could do at other

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<v Speaker 1>organizations that achieved similar aims elsewhere. Do like when you

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<v Speaker 1>came last week, we drove past one of the woodlands

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<v Speaker 1>by management managing it for well over ten years now.

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<v Speaker 1>That cost me a pound a year in rent because

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<v Speaker 1>I went to the landowner who's absentee, not that they

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<v Speaker 1>live a long way away, and I said, can I

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<v Speaker 1>manage this woodland in order to run my courses, but

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<v Speaker 1>I'll take on all the responsibility of managing the footpaths,

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<v Speaker 1>keeping the trees safety comes down on a neighbor's fence,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll deal with it, yeah, which is a substantial amount

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<v Speaker 1>of work. And they went, yeah, yeah, find as long

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<v Speaker 1>as you take on that liability and so you could

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<v Speaker 1>get access to things if you took on some of

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<v Speaker 1>the responsibility of that landowner that they have to do.

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<v Speaker 1>So there's that aspect. But the thing that's got him

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<v Speaker 1>in that Paul Powersland is in trouble with now is

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<v Speaker 1>whether it was after that documentary or whether that kicked

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<v Speaker 1>it off. I don't know. The Environment Agency have sent

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<v Speaker 1>him with sort of a notice of impossible Prosecution trying

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<v Speaker 1>to find exact wording here, which is it's carrying out

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<v Speaker 1>an investigation. But it's because the volunteers under the River

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00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:45.559
<v Speaker 1>Roading Trust they removed rubbish from the river, but then

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<v Speaker 1>they placed it at the sort of the corner of

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<v Speaker 1>the river, and the Environment Agency said, well, you're just

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00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:53.519
<v Speaker 1>dumping rubbish in a different place. He also rented a

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<v Speaker 1>mini digger or a digger and removed silt from parts

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<v Speaker 1>of the river as well, which I think is the

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00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:03.920
<v Speaker 1>really important bit because there are some weird rules around

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<v Speaker 1>removing silk from rivers and how much metrid you take

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<v Speaker 1>it from. Because it's effectively the equivalent of building an

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00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:15.599
<v Speaker 1>illegal building in the water, it's sort of treated in

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<v Speaker 1>the same way by the Environment Agency. So it's actually

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<v Speaker 1>quite a serious thing, and it's sort of a trip

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<v Speaker 1>where Paul Powerslander's hit. I don't know whether he knew

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<v Speaker 1>about it or not, but he's a barrister so probably did.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think he probably did, because funnily enough, on

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<v Speaker 2>my way back from you, I went to Herefordshire and

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<v Speaker 2>I met with a wonderful chap called Robert Denny, who

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<v Speaker 2>ran a thing called the River Mono Trust and The

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<v Speaker 2>River Mono is a fantastic river that rises up in

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<v Speaker 2>the Black Mountains and then flows through the Welsh borders Herefordshire.

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<v Speaker 2>What have you now? To recover the River Mono meant

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<v Speaker 2>a huge number of hoops had to be dealt with,

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<v Speaker 2>and there were all sorts of river mending that they did,

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<v Speaker 2>and it started off as the River mon Angler's Trust

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<v Speaker 2>and then became the River Mono Trust. So it wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>just an angling centric thing, but that was the target,

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<v Speaker 2>was to try and recover the wild brown trout of

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<v Speaker 2>the River Mono and the hoops that they had to

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<v Speaker 2>jump through, but also the goodwill and sanction that they

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<v Speaker 2>had to get of not only the Environment Agency, but

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<v Speaker 2>a catalogue of other organizations for exactly the reason you say, Richard,

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<v Speaker 2>is that if you are going to alter flow and

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<v Speaker 2>you're going to remove sedemon, you're going to create reds

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<v Speaker 2>of gravel for trout to spawn in. You're going to

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00:19:54.640 --> 00:19:57.720
<v Speaker 2>remove silt. They had a lot of silting issues there

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00:19:57.799 --> 00:20:01.759
<v Speaker 2>because farming practices had chained, They had too many cattle

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00:20:02.039 --> 00:20:06.440
<v Speaker 2>drinking from the river. All these things, these things fundamentally

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00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:09.599
<v Speaker 2>change the nature of a river. And I think the

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<v Speaker 2>reality is is that Pousland was involved with that utterly

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00:20:16.079 --> 00:20:21.480
<v Speaker 2>fatuous book called something like I don't know, wildlife Guardian,

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<v Speaker 2>some old tosh that a load of right to roam

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<v Speaker 2>people wild service, that was it. Whether they are trying

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<v Speaker 2>to go and advise people that if you see some

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<v Speaker 2>natural disaster type thing, you know that, you see some

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00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:45.240
<v Speaker 2>rubbish just trespass, it'll be absolutely fine. Or you see

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00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:49.240
<v Speaker 2>something you don't like or you think is wrong, go

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<v Speaker 2>and sort it out. And I would argue that Powsland

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<v Speaker 2>may have a huge amount of passion interest and care

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<v Speaker 2>for that river, but his knowledge of river mending is

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<v Speaker 2>open to debate. What time of year was this just

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<v Speaker 2>recently last couple of couple of weeks, so.

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<v Speaker 3>We're hitting water temperatures hit peak, so fish are spawning. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>So to be getting a mini digger down and to

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<v Speaker 3>be disturbing seal and the whole of the downstream to

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00:21:26.039 --> 00:21:30.480
<v Speaker 3>be covered in seal is horrendous for spawning fish because

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<v Speaker 3>the biomass that is locked into the bottom of the

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00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:38.599
<v Speaker 3>river bed is then released into that and that can

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<v Speaker 3>cause things like algae blooms and if we get if

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<v Speaker 3>we get rain like we just had like last night

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<v Speaker 3>in the South, horrendous rain, Algae blooms pop up, the

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<v Speaker 3>rain hits the water, the algae takes the oxygen with

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<v Speaker 3>the water, oxygen crashes. All the fish died downstream. Yes,

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<v Speaker 3>happened hundreds of times. I mean, be surprised if oxygen

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<v Speaker 3>hasn't crashed in the last days since since a big storm.

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<v Speaker 3>So he could actually be causing genuine, huge environmental impact

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<v Speaker 3>by disturbing sill and getting a mini digger on it,

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<v Speaker 3>like really bad, really bad.

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<v Speaker 1>I al would think that the best place to get

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<v Speaker 1>commentary on anything is again from strangers on the Internet podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, when we were doing some research for this,

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<v Speaker 1>talking to a few of the Country Slide patrons, they

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<v Speaker 1>were sending in bits they were sort of found and

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<v Speaker 1>there was some interesting comments over on Reddit, which, if

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<v Speaker 1>you're not a millennial, it's sort of like an Internet

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<v Speaker 1>forum which is inhabited by some of the weirdest people

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<v Speaker 1>on Earth.

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<v Speaker 3>Village it's a village notice board.

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<v Speaker 1>Smeared with extrement. Yes, just as a point of fact,

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<v Speaker 1>he won't face any legal issues from the litterpicking. He's

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<v Speaker 1>in the shit for deciding to be like Alan titch

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<v Speaker 1>Marsh and Charlie Dimmer can go all ground force on

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<v Speaker 1>the river and turn it into some kind of water feature.

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<v Speaker 1>The EA seem like they haven't been doing enough here.

385
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<v Speaker 1>Thames Water as usual have been dumping sewage like absolute bastards.

386
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<v Speaker 1>But that doesn't mean some rank amateurs can just starting

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<v Speaker 1>it all up as well, just because they've watched a

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<v Speaker 1>few episodes of The Really Wild Show and read a

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00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:24.079
<v Speaker 1>George Mombia book that's from a cruddle.

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<v Speaker 3>Well dad cradle.

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<v Speaker 1>There's some interesting other commentary around it which is a

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<v Speaker 1>bit left field, or I should I say right wing,

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00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:37.559
<v Speaker 1>because there's this whole right wing libertarian movement which is

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<v Speaker 1>transatlantic now because it's everyone here who doesn't like the

395
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<v Speaker 1>government and all of the Americans who don't like government

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00:23:44.839 --> 00:23:47.119
<v Speaker 1>or the idea of royalty and they think we have

397
00:23:47.160 --> 00:23:49.240
<v Speaker 1>to do whatever King Child says and stuff like that.

398
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<v Speaker 1>There's a whole subset and you can go and find

399
00:23:52.240 --> 00:23:56.279
<v Speaker 1>it on wherever you get your Internet. Nonsense from of

400
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<v Speaker 1>right wing libertarians who've never heard of Paul Powers or

401
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:02.880
<v Speaker 1>any of these issues. The first time they've seen it

402
00:24:02.920 --> 00:24:06.039
<v Speaker 1>is they've seen a news story which says local man

403
00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:08.920
<v Speaker 1>fined by government for picking up litter on his river

404
00:24:09.319 --> 00:24:14.279
<v Speaker 1>and this is some kind of governmental overreach at every level.

405
00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:17.440
<v Speaker 1>And this is some poor man forced to take action

406
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:21.640
<v Speaker 1>because the local town wouldn't. And it's very it's interesting

407
00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:25.160
<v Speaker 1>watching incredibly right wing people supporting a man who I

408
00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:27.119
<v Speaker 1>think is probably incredibly left wing.

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<v Speaker 3>Is this is what I this is what I've been

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00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:34.680
<v Speaker 3>getting on my Facebook. It's all all right wing libertarian stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Now listen, I've got a very funny one when it

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00:24:37.799 --> 00:24:43.400
<v Speaker 2>comes to complete nutters, rivers and just odd balls. And

413
00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:48.359
<v Speaker 2>this was an absolute gem that came up from Patrick Barkham,

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<v Speaker 2>the head environment correspondent for The Guardian. And I know

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00:24:53.920 --> 00:24:56.240
<v Speaker 2>it's easy to pick on the Guardian and you shouldn't

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00:24:56.240 --> 00:24:58.599
<v Speaker 2>do it, but I'm going to do it anyway. Now

417
00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:01.480
<v Speaker 2>he's written a story here and I'm just going to

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00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:06.759
<v Speaker 2>read you the opening path from this. What does a

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00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:10.119
<v Speaker 2>kestrel make of the dog sniffing in the long grass below?

420
00:25:10.759 --> 00:25:14.599
<v Speaker 2>Why does an exhausted salmon pause before a weird How

421
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<v Speaker 2>will an otter experience the rumble of a passing train?

422
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<v Speaker 2>Now that's a very valid question. You know, what does

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<v Speaker 2>nature think of the intrusion of human beings? And would

424
00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:33.319
<v Speaker 2>you ask in this circumstance a kestrel, an otter or

425
00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:36.559
<v Speaker 2>a salmon. No, what they decided to do was get

426
00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:43.839
<v Speaker 2>some well meaning but completely batshit mental people to pretend

427
00:25:44.039 --> 00:25:51.920
<v Speaker 2>to be kestrels, salmon and otters and live was this boomtown.

428
00:25:53.839 --> 00:25:58.680
<v Speaker 2>God knows what they're doing anyway. Basically, these nutjobs decided

429
00:25:58.799 --> 00:26:02.920
<v Speaker 2>to go to and go on a river in Somerset

430
00:26:03.039 --> 00:26:08.039
<v Speaker 2>called the River Tone and pretend to be otters, salmon

431
00:26:08.079 --> 00:26:11.920
<v Speaker 2>and kestrels and see how try to see through the

432
00:26:11.960 --> 00:26:17.240
<v Speaker 2>eyes of it. And I read this piece with growing incredulity, going,

433
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:19.559
<v Speaker 2>this is absolutely bonkers.

434
00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:21.440
<v Speaker 3>Sure you went on the onion.

435
00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:28.319
<v Speaker 2>Until I read the bloke who's actually organizing this. It's

436
00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:33.200
<v Speaker 2>basically an ex squadie. Yeah, and he's managed to go

437
00:26:33.319 --> 00:26:38.839
<v Speaker 2>and he's called what's his name, Phil Tovey, the director

438
00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:44.559
<v Speaker 2>of Nature Eccentric Approaches at ASRA. Whatever ASRA is, I

439
00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:46.799
<v Speaker 2>really don't know. Is some an acronym which probably is

440
00:26:46.839 --> 00:26:51.599
<v Speaker 2>in another c I see. And former soldier said the

441
00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:57.640
<v Speaker 2>testimonies they received e the people from as Otter, as

442
00:26:57.880 --> 00:27:03.319
<v Speaker 2>kestrel and as Sam and others were rather like civilians

443
00:27:03.400 --> 00:27:06.519
<v Speaker 2>caught in a war zone who struggled to find food

444
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:10.200
<v Speaker 2>safety your shelter, and I thought, I'm actually smelling where

445
00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:13.519
<v Speaker 2>this is coming from. Basically, this is a dude who

446
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:17.400
<v Speaker 2>is ex army, right, And what he's done is, you think,

447
00:27:17.799 --> 00:27:22.160
<v Speaker 2>how can I milk the teat of the muppet. I know,

448
00:27:22.559 --> 00:27:26.799
<v Speaker 2>I'll get them to pretend to be salmon otters and

449
00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:30.599
<v Speaker 2>kestrals and just laugh at them while they're go c

450
00:27:31.119 --> 00:27:34.240
<v Speaker 2>and try flapping around on the bank and then sort

451
00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:37.279
<v Speaker 2>of you know, trying to open up fresh water muscles

452
00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:40.240
<v Speaker 2>with their little paws and shit like that. And he's

453
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:43.559
<v Speaker 2>probably getting paid two hundred and fifty notes a day

454
00:27:43.599 --> 00:27:46.559
<v Speaker 2>per person for all this shit, and he is going, yes,

455
00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:49.440
<v Speaker 2>I think that's really good, mate, Yeah, brilliant. And then

456
00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:52.000
<v Speaker 2>he's going back to the pub, right, and he's going,

457
00:27:52.039 --> 00:27:53.960
<v Speaker 2>you will not believe what I managed to get him

458
00:27:53.960 --> 00:27:57.240
<v Speaker 2>to do this time. You know, it's it's brilliant because

459
00:27:57.440 --> 00:28:00.519
<v Speaker 2>with one of these individuals actually said I think it

460
00:28:00.599 --> 00:28:03.440
<v Speaker 2>was the one who wanted to be who was pretending

461
00:28:03.480 --> 00:28:08.400
<v Speaker 2>to be an otter, and it's rather amusing. She comes

462
00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:13.079
<v Speaker 2>out with an absolutely brilliant line, which was the whole

463
00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:15.599
<v Speaker 2>point was not to go out and see an otter,

464
00:28:16.200 --> 00:28:18.160
<v Speaker 2>but to be in the world as if you had

465
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:24.200
<v Speaker 2>taken that imaginative leap into otter hood and see what

466
00:28:24.480 --> 00:28:29.319
<v Speaker 2>hatterhood otter hood. Yes, she said, I'd never thought about

467
00:28:29.319 --> 00:28:31.680
<v Speaker 2>where I needed to do a pooh before. You know,

468
00:28:32.039 --> 00:28:36.160
<v Speaker 2>this is brilliant. I mean, it's an absolute genius thing. You, Richard,

469
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:39.680
<v Speaker 2>have been absolutely cocking this up. You're teaching people to

470
00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:41.759
<v Speaker 2>go out and how to lay a hedge and coppice

471
00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:44.440
<v Speaker 2>of wood. What you should have done. It's just gone

472
00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:46.880
<v Speaker 2>and say climb that tree. You're a nut hatch now

473
00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:51.680
<v Speaker 2>and you boom. You know. Don't teach all that practical

474
00:28:51.680 --> 00:28:55.359
<v Speaker 2>stuff that might be of actual use in conservation. Just

475
00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:59.079
<v Speaker 2>get people to pretend to be a shrew and charge

476
00:28:59.079 --> 00:29:01.279
<v Speaker 2>them through the nose for it. We've done this wrong

477
00:29:01.319 --> 00:29:04.559
<v Speaker 2>for years now, Thank you Guardian. There is nothing that

478
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:08.880
<v Speaker 2>makes me feel better about life than reading a Patrick

479
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:12.319
<v Speaker 2>Barkham column about someone worrying about where they might shiit.

480
00:29:12.119 --> 00:29:15.079
<v Speaker 1>To like an otter. This is in the same category

481
00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:17.839
<v Speaker 1>as those people who go on nature back to nature,

482
00:29:17.960 --> 00:29:20.319
<v Speaker 1>rewild the mind, retreats, and what they do is do

483
00:29:20.359 --> 00:29:25.559
<v Speaker 1>a lot of yogurt and green tea. Yeah, well, yeah,

484
00:29:25.880 --> 00:29:27.960
<v Speaker 1>if you want to rewild JEREMIAA go back to nature.

485
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:30.119
<v Speaker 1>Let's go and work in a spruce block for a week.

486
00:29:30.519 --> 00:29:32.559
<v Speaker 1>To spend a lot of time in nature. You'll also

487
00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:35.559
<v Speaker 1>see a lot of weird things and meets of interesting

488
00:29:35.599 --> 00:29:38.640
<v Speaker 1>people and rewild your mind. You'll go very wild, almost

489
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:41.359
<v Speaker 1>feral in fact, if you sort of worked in forestry

490
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:41.759
<v Speaker 1>for a week.

491
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:43.519
<v Speaker 3>Crayons.

492
00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:47.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and that's not Lucas aid in that bottle, but.

493
00:29:47.400 --> 00:29:49.119
<v Speaker 3>There's truckish champagne.

494
00:29:49.480 --> 00:29:52.759
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So this is something that annoys me immensely. Is

495
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:54.319
<v Speaker 1>are you ready?

496
00:29:54.359 --> 00:29:54.839
<v Speaker 2>Long list?

497
00:29:55.759 --> 00:29:59.880
<v Speaker 1>There's a whole set of people now who run course

498
00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:03.720
<v Speaker 1>and businesses and organizations that do these connect to nature

499
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:08.000
<v Speaker 1>things which I which go in several different directions. One

500
00:30:08.039 --> 00:30:10.000
<v Speaker 1>they do sort of as rich as outline there, and

501
00:30:10.039 --> 00:30:13.359
<v Speaker 1>they do it through art and performative dance. And actually

502
00:30:13.680 --> 00:30:15.599
<v Speaker 1>I've seen that here in Wales. One of the latest

503
00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:20.680
<v Speaker 1>Curlew projects they had drumming circles as part of the

504
00:30:20.759 --> 00:30:25.000
<v Speaker 1>Curlew Awareness project. I mean presumably drumming was to raise

505
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:27.359
<v Speaker 1>money to buy some two four three rounds to shoot

506
00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:30.720
<v Speaker 1>a fox with. It's presumably what they're doing to actually

507
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:33.559
<v Speaker 1>help the curlew. But no, they were just doing drumming

508
00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:37.839
<v Speaker 1>circle sessions funded as part of the Curlew Project. So

509
00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:40.799
<v Speaker 1>that sort of stuff annoys me at a cellular level,

510
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:47.640
<v Speaker 1>But then you've got these back to hunter gatherer mindset. Wait,

511
00:30:47.720 --> 00:30:49.799
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying not to mention the names of any businesses

512
00:30:49.799 --> 00:30:53.480
<v Speaker 1>here because I don't want to get sued, and I've

513
00:30:53.519 --> 00:30:57.880
<v Speaker 1>got to meet these people. They'll take you as sort

514
00:30:57.880 --> 00:31:00.119
<v Speaker 1>of take you to a conn off a block or

515
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:03.079
<v Speaker 1>a wood block for a week without your phone, and

516
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:07.599
<v Speaker 1>then other people who actually do work on a land

517
00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:10.119
<v Speaker 1>will come and bring things to them or manage it

518
00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:12.720
<v Speaker 1>out of the rest of the time. But while they're there,

519
00:31:12.759 --> 00:31:17.519
<v Speaker 1>they'll take a lot of hippies from London or mid

520
00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:20.319
<v Speaker 1>thirties yoga women and they'll go out and sort of

521
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:23.000
<v Speaker 1>live under a shelter made of twigs and leaves and

522
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:26.200
<v Speaker 1>then butcher a deer and then spent through some sunrise

523
00:31:26.319 --> 00:31:30.000
<v Speaker 1>yoga sessions and things like that, which is all sold

524
00:31:30.039 --> 00:31:34.720
<v Speaker 1>as reconnecting you back to nature, which I kind of

525
00:31:34.759 --> 00:31:36.519
<v Speaker 1>get in that if you spend a lot of time

526
00:31:36.599 --> 00:31:39.039
<v Speaker 1>doing things in the outdoor in nature, your brain does

527
00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:42.279
<v Speaker 1>change and you do see the world differently. But you

528
00:31:42.319 --> 00:31:46.000
<v Speaker 1>could also do that by spending a week doing coppice management,

529
00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:49.200
<v Speaker 1>or by doing practical conservation or something like that, something

530
00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:54.240
<v Speaker 1>that's actually outside of yourself, any of these things where

531
00:31:54.599 --> 00:31:58.160
<v Speaker 1>it's you do this thing and just by doing that thing,

532
00:31:58.240 --> 00:32:00.680
<v Speaker 1>you are connecting to nature or you're helping nature. No

533
00:32:00.759 --> 00:32:04.599
<v Speaker 1>you're not. That's just helping yourself. That's just self indulgent wank.

534
00:32:07.480 --> 00:32:09.359
<v Speaker 1>What you need to do is like the is the

535
00:32:09.400 --> 00:32:13.119
<v Speaker 1>fight club version of reconnecting and rewilding yourself, which is

536
00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:16.680
<v Speaker 1>taking yourself into somewhere and doing voluntary hardship because that

537
00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:19.279
<v Speaker 1>resets your brain, and then do some good whilst you're

538
00:32:19.319 --> 00:32:24.079
<v Speaker 1>doing it, like some habitat restoration or other conservation. Weirdly,

539
00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:26.880
<v Speaker 1>Paul Powersland's think if you did it properly and set

540
00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:30.319
<v Speaker 1>it up properly and took all due care and did

541
00:32:30.359 --> 00:32:33.440
<v Speaker 1>things like that, you could actually make that something that

542
00:32:33.480 --> 00:32:37.319
<v Speaker 1>reconnects people to nature and rewilds their mind. But you've

543
00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:38.960
<v Speaker 1>also got to make sure you've got a permit from

544
00:32:39.000 --> 00:32:39.880
<v Speaker 1>the bloody ea.

545
00:32:40.680 --> 00:32:44.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yes, probably not meddling, just have it. I think

546
00:32:45.319 --> 00:32:47.839
<v Speaker 3>the environmental stuff is what the only thing that I

547
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:50.559
<v Speaker 3>really get a permit from me A yeah, but the

548
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:54.960
<v Speaker 3>environmental stuff, and you know, potentially damaging nest habitat or

549
00:32:55.240 --> 00:32:59.319
<v Speaker 3>spreading Japanese not weed, or whatever it is that you

550
00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:03.599
<v Speaker 3>could be doing. Or so I think a plan, having

551
00:33:03.640 --> 00:33:09.359
<v Speaker 3>a plan Powsland's plan would be would be good. But yeah,

552
00:33:09.400 --> 00:33:11.079
<v Speaker 3>I get, I get what you're saying. I completely get

553
00:33:11.079 --> 00:33:11.599
<v Speaker 3>what you're saying.

554
00:33:11.880 --> 00:33:14.720
<v Speaker 2>I suppose the thing is, Callum, is that what you've

555
00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:18.000
<v Speaker 2>got with him is because his whole thing is about

556
00:33:18.039 --> 00:33:22.440
<v Speaker 2>the land ownership is terrible if it's the people who

557
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:25.960
<v Speaker 2>currently own land, and therefore.

558
00:33:25.759 --> 00:33:28.319
<v Speaker 1>Which him are you talking about Paul thousand?

559
00:33:29.559 --> 00:33:34.319
<v Speaker 2>So therefore what he's he's saying is that I live here,

560
00:33:34.400 --> 00:33:37.799
<v Speaker 2>I've got a sense of place, I love this place.

561
00:33:38.440 --> 00:33:41.240
<v Speaker 2>Therefore I have a right to do it. That's the

562
00:33:41.279 --> 00:33:45.200
<v Speaker 2>whole right to rown mindset is that they are leaving

563
00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:47.240
<v Speaker 2>rights you know it.

564
00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:50.799
<v Speaker 3>And also, I mean, the people that do have the

565
00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:54.559
<v Speaker 3>rights over it are absolutely taking the piss by dumping.

566
00:33:55.079 --> 00:33:58.640
<v Speaker 3>So even by him making a sort of quite punk

567
00:33:58.759 --> 00:34:01.839
<v Speaker 3>rock statement of there of you know, I'll do what

568
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:06.279
<v Speaker 3>I want. When when he someone says, well you can't

569
00:34:06.319 --> 00:34:09.159
<v Speaker 3>do what you want, he just points the finger and says,

570
00:34:09.159 --> 00:34:13.519
<v Speaker 3>we let them do what they want. So the point

571
00:34:13.599 --> 00:34:15.719
<v Speaker 3>is still made. He still makes a very good point.

572
00:34:16.039 --> 00:34:19.239
<v Speaker 2>Exactly he makes it makes a point, but he also

573
00:34:19.320 --> 00:34:22.119
<v Speaker 2>in the same time pisses all over us who actually

574
00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:26.760
<v Speaker 2>do stuff the right way. And I guess, like you said,

575
00:34:26.960 --> 00:34:29.800
<v Speaker 2>it's a punk rock mindset, is that you know I

576
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:32.119
<v Speaker 2>won't do what you tell me. I have to say.

577
00:34:32.119 --> 00:34:34.440
<v Speaker 2>There is a very funny other thing that Patrick Barkham

578
00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:39.360
<v Speaker 2>has written. He's done some mega stuff, not intentionally, it's

579
00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:43.440
<v Speaker 2>just by accident. He also he's also gone on one

580
00:34:44.159 --> 00:34:48.199
<v Speaker 2>which is quite amusing, is that he gave the story

581
00:34:48.280 --> 00:34:52.840
<v Speaker 2>to Rad jief Sial, the Home Affairs editor of The Guardian,

582
00:34:53.840 --> 00:35:00.000
<v Speaker 2>is that apparently therapy ferrits in kept in UK's lone

583
00:35:00.079 --> 00:35:05.199
<v Speaker 2>largest child prison have been co opted in quotes here

584
00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:10.400
<v Speaker 2>by managers to kill rats and I quote resulting in

585
00:35:10.440 --> 00:35:15.559
<v Speaker 2>a bloody incident and concerns over child and animal welfare.

586
00:35:16.360 --> 00:35:19.400
<v Speaker 2>So therefore it then goes into a lengthy thing saying

587
00:35:19.400 --> 00:35:23.079
<v Speaker 2>that basically what the old screws did was that they

588
00:35:23.159 --> 00:35:27.199
<v Speaker 2>set these ferrets which are basically played with by these

589
00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:29.639
<v Speaker 2>naughty kids who are locked up in what we used

590
00:35:29.679 --> 00:35:34.480
<v Speaker 2>to call borstal back in my day.

591
00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:36.000
<v Speaker 1>And we don't call child prison now now it's not

592
00:35:36.039 --> 00:35:39.360
<v Speaker 1>the term Now they said, could juvenile correctional center or

593
00:35:39.360 --> 00:35:41.400
<v Speaker 1>something like that, isn't it child prison?

594
00:35:41.519 --> 00:35:46.599
<v Speaker 2>They use them to basically bolt some rats, and then

595
00:35:46.679 --> 00:35:49.079
<v Speaker 2>the war dos stomped on them. Now, I bet you

596
00:35:49.440 --> 00:35:53.880
<v Speaker 2>those kids who were banged up in Chokey were absolutely

597
00:35:53.920 --> 00:35:57.920
<v Speaker 2>loving this, because there's nothing better than going ratting. I mean,

598
00:35:57.960 --> 00:35:59.840
<v Speaker 2>I do hasten to add.

599
00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:07.760
<v Speaker 3>Introducing introducing juvenile correction center children to field sports. I

600
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:09.840
<v Speaker 3>reckon I could get a shooting Times piece out of that.

601
00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:14.800
<v Speaker 2>The next generation of gamekeeper that is definitely Patrick Galbraithia

602
00:36:14.840 --> 00:36:20.079
<v Speaker 2>a shooting Times get inside a juvenile correctional facility and go.

603
00:36:20.199 --> 00:36:21.400
<v Speaker 3>Rats some terriers.

604
00:36:21.800 --> 00:36:25.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so anyway they do that, they go on for

605
00:36:25.719 --> 00:36:32.920
<v Speaker 2>absolutely sentences after sentences. How terrible it is that the

606
00:36:32.960 --> 00:36:36.840
<v Speaker 2>warders are basically going ratting with ferrets and then they're

607
00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:40.639
<v Speaker 2>stamping on the rats, right, And then eventually they come

608
00:36:40.679 --> 00:36:42.440
<v Speaker 2>around to it and say, oh yeah, it might be

609
00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:44.280
<v Speaker 2>actually a little bit of an issue, the fact that

610
00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:47.639
<v Speaker 2>our prison system is overrun with rats. You know, that's

611
00:36:47.679 --> 00:36:49.719
<v Speaker 2>literally sort of oh yeah, and there's also quite a

612
00:36:49.719 --> 00:36:52.159
<v Speaker 2>few rats in the prison. That's not the thing that

613
00:36:52.199 --> 00:36:55.480
<v Speaker 2>worries them. It's the fact that they may have disturbed

614
00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:58.840
<v Speaker 2>these kids by killing rats.

615
00:36:59.519 --> 00:37:01.360
<v Speaker 3>Has probably a few of them in there for that?

616
00:37:02.039 --> 00:37:04.559
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I mean there's almost a thing in here

617
00:37:04.599 --> 00:37:07.719
<v Speaker 2>about misappropriation of funds. That they're using a ferret for

618
00:37:07.800 --> 00:37:10.280
<v Speaker 2>something which it's not supposed to be used for. It

619
00:37:10.360 --> 00:37:13.079
<v Speaker 2>is supposed to be a thing that they cuddle, not

620
00:37:13.119 --> 00:37:16.199
<v Speaker 2>the fact it's an absolutely voracious predator that wants to

621
00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:19.519
<v Speaker 2>go out and kill things like rats. But there we go.

622
00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:22.400
<v Speaker 2>You know, some of the Guardian is quite literally the

623
00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:23.679
<v Speaker 2>gift that keeps on giving?

624
00:37:24.280 --> 00:37:27.639
<v Speaker 1>Are we farling that away under? They don't understand our

625
00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:30.039
<v Speaker 1>country ways, yes, even though it's in a prison, but

626
00:37:30.119 --> 00:37:32.039
<v Speaker 1>don't understand our custodial ways.

627
00:37:33.880 --> 00:37:38.280
<v Speaker 2>They generally don't. It's utterly bizarre. Imagine that bollocking people

628
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:41.400
<v Speaker 2>for using a ferret like ferrets are supposed to be

629
00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:44.000
<v Speaker 2>used for. It's wonderful, isn't it.

630
00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:46.559
<v Speaker 1>I'd actually quite like that I have on my record

631
00:37:46.639 --> 00:37:48.159
<v Speaker 1>inappropriate use of a ferret.

632
00:37:50.119 --> 00:37:52.320
<v Speaker 2>Have you have you ever actually got told offer in

633
00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:56.760
<v Speaker 2>appropriate use of a ferret? Because I have that back

634
00:37:56.760 --> 00:38:02.079
<v Speaker 2>when I was at school. I where is this going?

635
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:03.599
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad, he said.

636
00:38:04.519 --> 00:38:06.159
<v Speaker 1>I refused to believe he went to school.

637
00:38:06.880 --> 00:38:11.039
<v Speaker 2>I was entered for the public house entered at public school.

638
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:21.280
<v Speaker 2>I was entered for the house public speaking competition, and

639
00:38:21.320 --> 00:38:24.559
<v Speaker 2>then I thought, you know, all these other guys were

640
00:38:24.599 --> 00:38:26.760
<v Speaker 2>going to do all this proper stuff. So I thought,

641
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:31.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm actually going to take my ferrets in and I'm

642
00:38:31.280 --> 00:38:34.760
<v Speaker 2>going to talk about ferrets and ferreting and the need

643
00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:37.519
<v Speaker 2>for controlling rabbits as we used to have back in

644
00:38:37.559 --> 00:38:41.360
<v Speaker 2>the eighties, with two ferrets in my hands. You know,

645
00:38:41.400 --> 00:38:42.960
<v Speaker 2>it's a classic.

646
00:38:43.039 --> 00:38:44.800
<v Speaker 1>And you'd say you're not autistic.

647
00:38:45.079 --> 00:38:48.559
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm gonna say, oh my god, this is my ferrets.

648
00:38:49.119 --> 00:38:51.679
<v Speaker 2>These are my ferrets. So that I mean, look, I'll

649
00:38:51.719 --> 00:38:53.440
<v Speaker 2>tell you what I'm going to cut to. The most

650
00:38:53.440 --> 00:38:56.679
<v Speaker 2>important thing is I actually won the House public speaking

651
00:38:56.719 --> 00:39:00.599
<v Speaker 2>competition and I got a book token for it, which

652
00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:04.280
<v Speaker 2>of more at the end of the story. Anyway, because

653
00:39:04.360 --> 00:39:07.920
<v Speaker 2>unfortunately the house public speaking competition was after lunch, I

654
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:11.320
<v Speaker 2>obviously had to take them into school. So I bought

655
00:39:11.519 --> 00:39:17.639
<v Speaker 2>my ferret box in and I had double biology, I remember,

656
00:39:18.199 --> 00:39:23.639
<v Speaker 2>before lunch, and I'd put the ferret box in a

657
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:27.400
<v Speaker 2>little cupboard underneath these very old fashioned sort of science

658
00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:29.760
<v Speaker 2>that's out gas taps and all that new lara on

659
00:39:30.639 --> 00:39:35.760
<v Speaker 2>and there was a I put them in there. No,

660
00:39:35.960 --> 00:39:38.079
<v Speaker 2>the teacher was none the wiser, and it was all

661
00:39:38.119 --> 00:39:44.480
<v Speaker 2>fantastic until there was suddenly a loud squealing sound from

662
00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:48.159
<v Speaker 2>over on my right, and my ferrets had got out

663
00:39:48.199 --> 00:39:51.559
<v Speaker 2>of the carrying box and they had made their way

664
00:39:51.599 --> 00:39:54.639
<v Speaker 2>through the little gaps where the gas tap pipes came through,

665
00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:57.639
<v Speaker 2>and they'd gone all the way to the end. They

666
00:39:57.639 --> 00:39:59.679
<v Speaker 2>had then gone on a little bit of an adventure.

667
00:40:00.039 --> 00:40:04.119
<v Speaker 2>They'd climbed up and they discovered that there were gerbils

668
00:40:04.159 --> 00:40:07.880
<v Speaker 2>in a fish tank, obviously a dry fish tank with

669
00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:10.719
<v Speaker 2>sort of sawdust and stuff in there, and they thought,

670
00:40:11.079 --> 00:40:12.800
<v Speaker 2>let's go and kill them.

671
00:40:13.199 --> 00:40:16.199
<v Speaker 7>And so they then went in and then merrily killed

672
00:40:16.239 --> 00:40:19.320
<v Speaker 7>these gerbils, and the squealing was the sound of a

673
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:24.679
<v Speaker 7>ferrets fangs going through the skull of the head.

674
00:40:24.559 --> 00:40:30.199
<v Speaker 2>Of a gerbil. Now my biology master wasn't that happy.

675
00:40:30.639 --> 00:40:33.599
<v Speaker 2>He was pretty irate about it. He was, bizarrely for

676
00:40:33.639 --> 00:40:35.639
<v Speaker 2>a teacher at the school like mine, he was very

677
00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:39.679
<v Speaker 2>left wing. And he then berated me because he said,

678
00:40:39.679 --> 00:40:43.280
<v Speaker 2>this was literally what happened when we went hunting, is

679
00:40:43.320 --> 00:40:46.360
<v Speaker 2>that we just went willy nilly anywhere, killing what we liked.

680
00:40:47.800 --> 00:40:50.480
<v Speaker 2>But thankfully he didn't confiscate my ferrets, so I was

681
00:40:50.519 --> 00:40:53.199
<v Speaker 2>able to go through and do it. But anyway, so

682
00:40:53.199 --> 00:40:57.000
<v Speaker 2>I won the house public speaking competition, which is very good.

683
00:40:57.599 --> 00:41:00.400
<v Speaker 2>And whenever you won any of these classes, you were

684
00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:02.920
<v Speaker 2>given a book token which you then had to go

685
00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:06.480
<v Speaker 2>to the bookshop in town by your book and then

686
00:41:06.559 --> 00:41:09.559
<v Speaker 2>give it to your housemaster, who gave it to the

687
00:41:09.559 --> 00:41:12.000
<v Speaker 2>head master. The when it was speech day and you

688
00:41:12.039 --> 00:41:15.480
<v Speaker 2>were given your prizes for various things, he presented you

689
00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:19.360
<v Speaker 2>with the various books, and ken House who was our

690
00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:23.920
<v Speaker 2>head master, he was presenting other complete works of Shakespeare

691
00:41:23.960 --> 00:41:29.920
<v Speaker 2>for Anthony Handen for excellence in English, and we have Dystevskis,

692
00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:32.760
<v Speaker 2>and he was going through all these absolute literary tones.

693
00:41:33.079 --> 00:41:36.039
<v Speaker 2>And he goes and how public speaking prize goes to

694
00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:40.320
<v Speaker 2>Richard Nigus and his book is Lurchers and Long Dogs

695
00:41:40.440 --> 00:41:47.800
<v Speaker 2>by Colonel Ted Walsh. God disgust on his face as

696
00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:50.760
<v Speaker 2>one of the boys of his school went up to

697
00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:55.119
<v Speaker 2>proudly get with a the public speaking thing with two

698
00:41:55.119 --> 00:41:57.719
<v Speaker 2>ferrets in his hands, and he was being given Lurchers

699
00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:02.079
<v Speaker 2>and Long Dogs by Colonel E. G. Walsh, a Pikey's

700
00:42:02.159 --> 00:42:06.400
<v Speaker 2>dog for a man with pikey habits. It was absolutely superb.

701
00:42:06.719 --> 00:42:09.280
<v Speaker 2>I loved the look of disgust on his face and

702
00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:12.719
<v Speaker 2>that was more or less my last middle digit to

703
00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:15.239
<v Speaker 2>the world of education. Fantastic.

704
00:42:15.320 --> 00:42:18.800
<v Speaker 3>You know, Richard Nigas is the Paul Powsland of public school.

705
00:42:18.920 --> 00:42:23.480
<v Speaker 1>Is when we make a sort of a monument to

706
00:42:23.599 --> 00:42:25.559
<v Speaker 1>Richard when he dies in the next few years and

707
00:42:25.840 --> 00:42:28.280
<v Speaker 1>put him up somewhere in that church that's just down

708
00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:31.079
<v Speaker 1>the road from his cottage. We carve it in stone.

709
00:42:31.119 --> 00:42:34.039
<v Speaker 1>I want him to be represented with a ferret in

710
00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:36.480
<v Speaker 1>one hand and a bill hook in the other. Yes, yeah,

711
00:42:36.719 --> 00:42:37.920
<v Speaker 1>just sort of standing there.

712
00:42:37.840 --> 00:42:40.039
<v Speaker 3>With a lercher by side.

713
00:42:40.519 --> 00:42:43.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So there we are. That's the main show. We're

714
00:42:43.159 --> 00:42:45.159
<v Speaker 1>heading on into the after show, where we're going to

715
00:42:45.199 --> 00:42:47.000
<v Speaker 1>tell all the stories that we're not allowed to tell

716
00:42:47.039 --> 00:42:48.079
<v Speaker 1>in the real world.

717
00:42:48.639 --> 00:43:02.880
<v Speaker 2>Bye, good bye everyone, goodbye could musically bo