WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.520 --> 00:00:04.360 Can I ask you a question why you don't ever 2 00:00:04.360 --> 00:00:07.200 play with my nipples? I got nipples too. It's my 3 00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:10.519 turn to get tied up knocking headcuts though I got PTSD. 4 00:00:11.560 --> 00:00:16.239 Welcome the hardest soft where men speak. So hopefully somebody 5 00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:19.640 will understand when you say freaky, what's what's freaky? 6 00:00:19.719 --> 00:00:19.760 What? 7 00:00:20.039 --> 00:00:22.320 What do you mean by freaky? If I do this, 8 00:00:22.519 --> 00:00:23.679 you're not gonna tell your friends. 9 00:00:23.760 --> 00:00:23.920 Right. 10 00:00:50.439 --> 00:00:52.159 So when you said, like you put it on your 11 00:00:52.200 --> 00:00:55.840 IG story that you okay when you're selling an IG 12 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:58.320 story that you was on a specific type of cruise, 13 00:00:58.679 --> 00:01:00.479 I didn't know what it was and I didn't look 14 00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:04.159 it up. So you were really really excited about it. 15 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:08.840 Because I go to Temptations, right, I go to Temptations often. 16 00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:11.640 I have membership at Temptations. So it's like a thing. 17 00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:13.959 We go on a cruise. First of all, I've never 18 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:17.599 been on a cruise before. When I get this, she 19 00:01:17.640 --> 00:01:20.719 has it as a surprise, and you see the Temptations 20 00:01:20.760 --> 00:01:23.239 banner and all of this signage. You know, I'm like, 21 00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:29.560 oh shit, it's Temptation cruise. But I really wasn't sure 22 00:01:29.599 --> 00:01:32.120 as to what to expect. I'm telling you right now, 23 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:37.079 White people, Hey, high sless. I'm talking about white people with. 24 00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:39.000 Bro. 25 00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:42.959 When they swing, they swing swing. Swinging in the white 26 00:01:42.959 --> 00:01:44.200 community is. 27 00:01:44.239 --> 00:01:45.719 Like knock it out the park, swing. 28 00:01:45.879 --> 00:01:46.120 Bro. 29 00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:50.040 I'm sitting on the deck of the pool. Dude walks up, 30 00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:52.359 so I's telling tonguekissing the dude's wife. He's right next, 31 00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:55.599 he's right there. The husband's right there, tongue kissing her 32 00:01:55.640 --> 00:01:56.239 and walks away. 33 00:01:57.040 --> 00:02:01.040 Huh no, consent, Bro, She she cound said she. 34 00:02:01.239 --> 00:02:05.120 They was, They had their thing. It's very comfortable and 35 00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:06.120 hey bye. 36 00:02:06.599 --> 00:02:09.120 He walked away. I sat there. He never came back. 37 00:02:11.240 --> 00:02:13.280 I just want to kiss and walk away. 38 00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:16.400 And this was the experience that you see, Bro. 39 00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:22.000 I'm walking through the hallways. They have signs on the door. 40 00:02:22.680 --> 00:02:26.520 Hey I'm here to fuck. I'm open to company. They 41 00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:30.039 had cards made with their number on the cards attached 42 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:31.599 to the door, so you just walk by, you take 43 00:02:31.639 --> 00:02:34.080 a card, and you call them to link and have sex. 44 00:02:34.879 --> 00:02:37.439 They had dildos attached to the door. 45 00:02:38.680 --> 00:02:39.159 Photos. 46 00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:40.599 They have photos. 47 00:02:41.639 --> 00:02:42.080 I have it. 48 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:46.800 I have it. They have photos of the couples on 49 00:02:46.919 --> 00:02:51.919 the doors. Wow. Yeah, look sherman's caring. That's just one. 50 00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:55.240 Look at this. They have their bio. Oh wow, they 51 00:02:55.319 --> 00:02:58.319 have their bio on the thing. Hey, let me see 52 00:02:58.319 --> 00:02:58.479 if I. 53 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:00.759 Was the desire ones. But it wasn't like that. 54 00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:01.280 I didn't. 55 00:03:01.560 --> 00:03:05.400 Hello, we're from such and such Iowa. We love getting 56 00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:07.599 out to laugh and relax. We're like minded couples. We're 57 00:03:07.639 --> 00:03:10.919 pretty laid back, don't take ourselves too seriously. We would 58 00:03:10.919 --> 00:03:14.159 prefer to find connection as friends and let more develop organically. 59 00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:17.400 We're looking for a real unicorn, real. 60 00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:19.280 And like meaning actually bisexual. 61 00:03:19.400 --> 00:03:23.479 Yeah right, a four way connection with another couple. We 62 00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:25.120 are DDF. What is DDF? 63 00:03:26.439 --> 00:03:29.639 I don't know, down do I don't know what DDF 64 00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:30.159 stands for. 65 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:31.599 We drink. 66 00:03:31.639 --> 00:03:34.639 So let's see if there's a spark. Look at this 67 00:03:34.680 --> 00:03:39.360 woman beautiful. Oh wow, they have a couple of pictures everything. 68 00:03:39.439 --> 00:03:39.719 Let me. 69 00:03:43.520 --> 00:03:46.759 He just looks like he works at your regular, regular office. 70 00:03:47.879 --> 00:03:51.240 But you have to understand it's two thousand. There's two 71 00:03:51.240 --> 00:03:52.360 thousand people on his cruise. 72 00:03:52.439 --> 00:03:53.000 Yeah wow. 73 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:57.919 One of the rooms is thirty thousand dollars. It's already 74 00:03:57.919 --> 00:03:59.159 booked for the next two cruises. 75 00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:02.120 Oh my goodness. Oh these people, Oh this is what 76 00:04:02.159 --> 00:04:05.319 they do. These people have money, this is their lifestyle. 77 00:04:06.199 --> 00:04:07.960 Is this what you know? What I mean? So I'm 78 00:04:08.039 --> 00:04:09.800 just like it's just very interesting for me. 79 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:14.719 For one, it was only about sixty black people on 80 00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:19.319 the trip. On the trip, we swing differently than them, 81 00:04:19.959 --> 00:04:26.519 We lifestyle differently. It's not as free for us, right, 82 00:04:27.160 --> 00:04:28.920 And I just found that. I just found that very 83 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:32.040 interesting when I went on the cruise. Do we have fun, Yes, 84 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:34.240 we had have fun. We can talk about that on Patreon. 85 00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:36.600 I'm gonn way till loon comes back, all right, talk 86 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:39.439 about that, but we are here high slis. How are 87 00:04:39.480 --> 00:04:42.360 you do you? Are you into swinging and stuff like that. 88 00:04:42.839 --> 00:04:46.759 I have tried all the things, but I'm not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 89 00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:49.199 I've gone to swingers clubs and I went to Desire 90 00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:52.000 in Mexico. One time. I was actually working with clients 91 00:04:52.040 --> 00:04:55.360 at Desireco, but I was there with a partner also, 92 00:04:55.839 --> 00:04:56.560 so we played. 93 00:04:56.360 --> 00:04:57.439 A little bit nice. 94 00:04:57.759 --> 00:04:58.639 Do you get jealous? 95 00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:00.920 Yes, I'm very busy us off being jealous. 96 00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:03.399 So how do you So that's why she says she 97 00:05:03.399 --> 00:05:06.360 stops swinging because she's I'm guessing that's why you stopped, right? 98 00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:07.959 It is for me? 99 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:09.560 Yeah, right, right right, yeah, I don't. 100 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:11.319 I think you got to find your place in that. 101 00:05:11.480 --> 00:05:13.879 You got to really identify your feelings. 102 00:05:13.399 --> 00:05:14.160 And shit like that. 103 00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:18.319 I love when people are honest with themselves about things 104 00:05:18.399 --> 00:05:21.800 like that, Like they know that they're the possessive, jealous type. 105 00:05:22.319 --> 00:05:24.480 They're doing it because they think that their partner would 106 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:27.680 be into it, but then really, in reality, you're just like, 107 00:05:27.720 --> 00:05:30.879 I really don't like this, and they take the courage 108 00:05:30.920 --> 00:05:31.360 to say, you. 109 00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:32.920 Know what, I'm not doing this anymore. 110 00:05:33.079 --> 00:05:34.879 Can a person be with somebody that's like that, like 111 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:37.480 say y'all, say y'all form a real connection? 112 00:05:38.560 --> 00:05:41.839 And so let's you're a couple of relationship sex. 113 00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:44.519 Coach coach and I train other coaches, right. 114 00:05:44.759 --> 00:05:48.879 And you train other coaches. What is the propensity? 115 00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:53.160 What's the possibility that you have one person that's super 116 00:05:53.839 --> 00:05:58.399 polly actually being with somebody that's more monogamous or just 117 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:00.759 completely like looks at a possibility. 118 00:06:00.839 --> 00:06:04.439 Yeah, I've worked with polymonocouples really really yeah, yeah for sure, 119 00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:06.639 And like I've seen people work it out, and I've 120 00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:09.680 also seen it go horribly wrong. It's a pretty big 121 00:06:09.720 --> 00:06:11.879 difference in the way that you want to interact with 122 00:06:11.959 --> 00:06:14.800 other people, but I have seen it also work, So 123 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:17.120 you know, it just depends on how much empathy and 124 00:06:17.160 --> 00:06:20.800 support they can have for each other and how much jealousy, 125 00:06:20.959 --> 00:06:23.759 you know, like if somebody is In this instance where 126 00:06:23.800 --> 00:06:26.439 it really worked, she wasn't that jealous. She just really 127 00:06:26.480 --> 00:06:28.759 wanted to make sure that he was having family time, 128 00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:31.879 and so that was it was more functional. I think 129 00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:34.439 because of that, if there's a lot of jealousy or insecurity, 130 00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:37.360 then it makes it pretty unstable, right, right. 131 00:06:37.639 --> 00:06:43.600 I made a couple like that on the Crew's monogamous. 132 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:49.439 He's super Polly a lot of partners, and she doesn't 133 00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:56.680 want other partners. She'll play sporadically, right, But he does 134 00:06:56.800 --> 00:07:03.120 the more playing. But and she's black and he's white. 135 00:07:03.439 --> 00:07:06.160 M hm. So I was amazed by this couple. 136 00:07:06.639 --> 00:07:08.360 So a lot of dynamics going on in that couple. 137 00:07:08.439 --> 00:07:11.480 I was just its like an interracial dynamic. There's also 138 00:07:11.519 --> 00:07:13.600 a monopoly dynamic going on. 139 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:14.959 There's also it's. 140 00:07:14.839 --> 00:07:15.759 A hell of a cruise. 141 00:07:15.879 --> 00:07:17.160 The hell of a cruise. 142 00:07:18.639 --> 00:07:21.199 When I tell you the stories that I have to tell, y'all, 143 00:07:21.560 --> 00:07:24.680 I can't wait to do this Patreon. I cannot wait 144 00:07:24.720 --> 00:07:27.439 to do this Patreon. But yeah, man, I find it interesting. 145 00:07:28.839 --> 00:07:30.519 What's one of the questions that I wanted to ask 146 00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:31.360 y'all today. 147 00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:36.240 I'm surprised you don't have any handy dandy phone. 148 00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:41.920 I do, okay, but it just it just slipped my mind. 149 00:07:42.120 --> 00:07:44.439 Oh anyway, So how's life, How's how's that been going 150 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:44.639 for you? 151 00:07:45.879 --> 00:07:46.720 How's life been going? 152 00:07:47.360 --> 00:07:51.560 I think life actually has been going really well for 153 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:57.839 me so far. Just thanking God that you know, all 154 00:07:57.839 --> 00:08:00.800 the stuff that have happened and what what has been 155 00:08:00.839 --> 00:08:03.079 brought to my attention and what I'm now like currently 156 00:08:03.079 --> 00:08:04.680 working on within myself. 157 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:09.199 So I restarted therapy third time, going back, but she 158 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:10.639 know me, you hold it down for. 159 00:08:13.759 --> 00:08:15.240 The same therapist that you always go back to. 160 00:08:16.040 --> 00:08:18.079 Is she tired of you not showing up, like you 161 00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:20.120 just just dip on her when you think you're all. 162 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:21.959 Right pretty much? 163 00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:24.240 No, She's like, no, I'm glad that you you reach 164 00:08:24.279 --> 00:08:25.879 out to me and when you think you need it 165 00:08:25.920 --> 00:08:29.560 the most. I'm on my three month of like pure 166 00:08:29.639 --> 00:08:32.039 working out, so I'm really happy about that. So it's 167 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:37.039 mental and the physical difference, and you know, just having 168 00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:40.120 talking to God every every day for the past eight months, 169 00:08:40.120 --> 00:08:42.720 and it's just been a beautiful transformation I've been seeing. 170 00:08:42.759 --> 00:08:45.399 And I'm at the point right now where I'm kind 171 00:08:45.399 --> 00:08:49.919 of like just pouring into Courtney, loving on Courtney. I'm 172 00:08:49.919 --> 00:08:52.559 traveling a lot this the next couple of months, so 173 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:53.679 I'm really excited about that. 174 00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:57.720 So do you do you like I see you working out? 175 00:08:57.879 --> 00:09:01.519 Yeah, I remember a time last year you were more 176 00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:03.840 concerned about weight and all of that stuff. Did you 177 00:09:03.840 --> 00:09:07.799 look at yourself different sexually when you were going through that? 178 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:13.879 I think when I when I feel good sexually, I 179 00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:16.159 feel good as well. Like, so if i feel like 180 00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:19.440 I'm fit and I feel like i'm I can do 181 00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:21.840 certain things and I feel strong. I know that my 182 00:09:21.879 --> 00:09:25.320 sex game is like boom at a ten, but I'm 183 00:09:25.320 --> 00:09:27.120 not really going to be experiencing much sex in the 184 00:09:27.159 --> 00:09:29.440 next couple of months because I don't want to have sex. 185 00:09:29.960 --> 00:09:31.519 Kind of it's two things. I want to get back 186 00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:31.720 to that. 187 00:09:31.879 --> 00:09:35.720 Yeah, but do you deal with people that have like 188 00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:40.039 changes in their body and aren't able to really feel sexy? Like, 189 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:43.000 what is like advice you give people when they aren't 190 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:46.039 feeling sexy physically and how to like show up in 191 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:48.480 their relationship or show up with their partners because a 192 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:50.720 lot of times that dynamic will kind of ruin you'all 193 00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:51.240 sex lives. 194 00:09:51.320 --> 00:09:51.559 Yeah. 195 00:09:51.639 --> 00:09:53.080 Yeah, Well, you don't want to get naked if you 196 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:55.120 don't feel sexy right, And I think a lot of 197 00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:57.360 times it's like there's a lot of self objectification, Like 198 00:09:57.399 --> 00:09:59.200 I'm looking in the mirror and I'm tearing myself apart 199 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:01.440 and thinking, oh, this is bad about me, this is 200 00:10:01.480 --> 00:10:04.200 bad about me. And so our way back into that 201 00:10:04.320 --> 00:10:07.600 is finding what's pleasurable about your body, like what feels 202 00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:10.480 good and get that, get back into sensation and embodiment 203 00:10:10.519 --> 00:10:12.919 instead of like looking at myself from out here, but 204 00:10:13.080 --> 00:10:17.080 actually like feeling myself and reconnecting with pleasure and that 205 00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:20.799 sort of like inside out approach makes you love your 206 00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:22.559 body in a way. It's like this is where we 207 00:10:22.639 --> 00:10:23.559 get our pleasure from? 208 00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:27.240 Is that the like masturbation or just touching feeling like 209 00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:30.320 how do you? I guess it's different for every client 210 00:10:30.360 --> 00:10:31.279 of yours, but like. 211 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:34.320 I go through that literally when my stomach was hanging 212 00:10:34.360 --> 00:10:40.840 over her butt and I'm looking, I'm serious, bro. 213 00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:41.600 I ain't want to do the videos. 214 00:10:41.639 --> 00:10:45.039 The more we recorded some ship the scene was fire 215 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:51.399 until I looked at it and my stomach is I'm looking, 216 00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:53.879 I feel crazy. I'm laying on the bed, I'm just 217 00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:56.840 rubbing on my shit off. I'm like, nah, you're not sexy. 218 00:10:56.879 --> 00:10:58.120 No more, you far in ass. 219 00:10:59.559 --> 00:11:03.159 This is discussed you, this is disgusting you know. 220 00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:06.799 Yeah, I think yeah, self touch, like really getting into 221 00:11:06.840 --> 00:11:09.279 receiving touch from someone who really loves you and loves 222 00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:11.200 your body. I think can be really really healing. 223 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:19.320 Okay yeah, okay, well I haven't. Also, I haven't been masturbating, and. 224 00:11:19.240 --> 00:11:20.200 Like you just don't. 225 00:11:20.279 --> 00:11:22.559 You don't like nothing about No, I. 226 00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:26.679 Love how I look, but touching, but I'm not fucking 227 00:11:26.759 --> 00:11:28.240 I'm not masturbating. 228 00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:30.320 I'm just like I'm kind of like my head is 229 00:11:30.360 --> 00:11:32.759 like not one night, it's on something completely different. 230 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:35.840 I feel like it's like we have this idea, Oh, 231 00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:38.480 you have to be wanting sex all the time. I disagree, 232 00:11:38.519 --> 00:11:40.039 Like we go through phases with everything. 233 00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:42.759 I disagree with your disagree. 234 00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:44.799 No, no, I want to hear her because that's what 235 00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:46.879 I'm going through right now, is like I'm just not 236 00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:47.960 in a phase of like. 237 00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:49.879 Wanting sex, you know, And you don't need to apologize 238 00:11:49.919 --> 00:11:51.879 for that, like, especially if you're going through a healing 239 00:11:51.960 --> 00:11:55.240 self connection process, just take it as it is. Like 240 00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:58.240 I think if you don't pressure yourself, your desire will 241 00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:00.080 come back, and if you do, then it's can and 242 00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:02.559 shut it down, you know, So just take your time, 243 00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:04.720 be with your body however you want to, and look 244 00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:06.759 at how amazing you look in the mirror, and you know, 245 00:12:06.840 --> 00:12:08.639 eventually you'd probably be like, wow, it looks so good. 246 00:12:08.679 --> 00:12:12.799 I want to go myself. No exactly. 247 00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:14.960 That's why when I was telling them, I was like, 248 00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:17.000 you know, I'm not I'm not really masturbating. I'm really 249 00:12:17.000 --> 00:12:18.960 not having sex. They're like, why, so you're gonna be 250 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:21.240 dealing with women. I'm like, no, I don't want to 251 00:12:21.320 --> 00:12:24.720 deal with anybody. I'm I'm like, okay, I'm okay to 252 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:25.679 de touch now. 253 00:12:25.879 --> 00:12:30.399 Is this obviously you spoke about your situation on the Patreon. 254 00:12:32.799 --> 00:12:35.519 Is this like I remember reading when I was reading 255 00:12:35.559 --> 00:12:37.360 up about you, you would have talked you were talking 256 00:12:37.399 --> 00:12:40.039 about an emotional armor. What's an emotional armor? 257 00:12:41.440 --> 00:12:42.879 I think that we can have all of these sort 258 00:12:42.919 --> 00:12:45.559 of protective mechanisms when we've been hurt in some way 259 00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:48.279 that kind of automatically come up to protect us from 260 00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:51.159 getting hurt again in that particular way. So you know, 261 00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:53.559 if you've been hurt and it reminds you of some 262 00:12:53.639 --> 00:12:56.320 like childhood wound that you have, then you can get 263 00:12:56.440 --> 00:12:58.279 very like you know what I need some space and 264 00:12:58.320 --> 00:13:01.960 some distance from for me intimacy in general or in 265 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:04.320 an intimate relationship, those feelings can get triggered. 266 00:13:05.320 --> 00:13:07.360 And is there a way out of that? 267 00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:10.159 Like how do you even if it's just obviously you're saying, 268 00:13:10.200 --> 00:13:12.039 you know, just get back in touch with yourself. But 269 00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:15.879 I would think that if you have this thing that 270 00:13:16.200 --> 00:13:18.840 reminds you of some childhood trauma, that's something that's like. 271 00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:22.080 Really deep rooted, right, Like, what is the work that 272 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:22.879 you really have to do? 273 00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:25.000 Because just touching my nipples and just looking at feeling 274 00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:28.320 my dig's like, all right, No, I'm not interested in 275 00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:29.039 this anymore. 276 00:13:29.600 --> 00:13:31.919 What is the path that you really need to take? Well? 277 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:34.639 As you as a sexology, as a sex coach, what 278 00:13:34.679 --> 00:13:37.159 would you work with your clients on doing? 279 00:13:37.279 --> 00:13:39.000 Yeah, And I think we like trauma feels like a 280 00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:41.360 scary word for people, but I think most of us 281 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:43.559 have different kinds of herds and traumas, And so I 282 00:13:43.559 --> 00:13:45.840 firstly just normalized, like that's part of being human. 283 00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:50.559 You know, we all have that, right, either like lowercase 284 00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:52.200 TA or capital T exactly. 285 00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:54.080 You know, we all have it. So it's like first 286 00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:56.120 to just acknowledge it and not feel ashamed about it 287 00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:58.080 and actually say, Okay, I'm going to look at these 288 00:13:58.120 --> 00:14:00.000 feelings inside of myself and I'm going to let myself 289 00:14:00.039 --> 00:14:01.759 they'll feel them. Instead of feeling like why do I 290 00:14:01.799 --> 00:14:03.440 still feel this way? Or I shouldn't feel this way, 291 00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:05.200 or what's wrong with me, It's like, nothing's wrong with you. 292 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:08.759 You're human. So that's step one. And then sort of like, okay, 293 00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:11.519 so how did that little child inside of me get hurt? 294 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:14.600 And what do they need to feel safe again, you know, 295 00:14:14.759 --> 00:14:17.559 or loved or seen or whatever it is, And that's 296 00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:19.039 you know. So I think those are some of the 297 00:14:19.080 --> 00:14:22.360 first steps. First just acknowledging we have trauma, secondly normalizing 298 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:25.720 it we all deal with something, and thirdly then saying like, okay, 299 00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:28.840 so what is hurting right now? When that gets triggered again? 300 00:14:29.159 --> 00:14:31.200 You know, I'm going to share something that was said 301 00:14:31.240 --> 00:14:33.200 to me during my therapy session on Monday. 302 00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:39.840 She was like, you know, oh my gosh, you said 303 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:41.919 something and it triggered it and now I forgot. 304 00:14:42.360 --> 00:14:44.240 But I think it was along the lines of like 305 00:14:45.080 --> 00:14:51.600 it wasn't my fault, but it's my responsibility and I 306 00:14:51.679 --> 00:14:55.399 lost it complete tears. I was just like, what, it's 307 00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:58.320 not my fault because you know, you grow up thinking 308 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:02.000 that you know something's wrong with you, it's your fault, 309 00:15:02.039 --> 00:15:05.240 like you have but the way you grew up, because 310 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:08.000 you get these things, you know, these traumas between the ages. 311 00:15:07.799 --> 00:15:12.799 Of zero and four. I think and they and she said, 312 00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:14.320 it's not your fault. You were just you were just. 313 00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:19.360 A child, and it's your responsibility, responsibility now to take 314 00:15:19.399 --> 00:15:23.720 ownership and try to you know, lack of a better word, 315 00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:27.039 fix these things. But yeah, so kind of like triggered 316 00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:29.919 that it's not your fault type situation, and I just 317 00:15:29.919 --> 00:15:30.679 like lost it. 318 00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:34.159 I think that's so important that you, you know, realize 319 00:15:34.200 --> 00:15:36.840 that not your fault and but is your responsibility. And 320 00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:38.840 I kind of want to bring in the idea of 321 00:15:38.840 --> 00:15:41.279 like sex as a way to heal from some of 322 00:15:41.320 --> 00:15:42.000 those wounds. 323 00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:48.279 How wait, I'm back on now we're here, Now. 324 00:15:50.440 --> 00:15:53.759 Wait that real quick. 325 00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:56.600 Well, I think the wounds that we have actually shape 326 00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:00.320 our sexual desires, and so when we know what we 327 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:03.039 want around sex, Like if you think, like when something 328 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:06.279 triggers you, what gets hurt, Like what kind of blocks 329 00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:08.440 you like does it feel like, oh I'm not really 330 00:16:08.480 --> 00:16:11.639 worthy of love or I'm not safe or nobody actually 331 00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:14.120 accepts me for who I am. And then when you 332 00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:17.639 bring that energy into sex of like whatever, I don't 333 00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:19.919 know what you feel like any of those wounds hit 334 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:23.720 the mark for you, like not feeling seen, not feeling worthy, 335 00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:26.919 not feeling safe. I'm feeling free. I don't know what. 336 00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:30.919 You're Sometimes it's safe because I am a fearful avoidant 337 00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:36.879 mixed with the ank she's an attachment. Yeah, combination, combination. 338 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:37.720 Yeah. 339 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:40.480 So if you say, okay, so what really makes me 340 00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:43.320 feel safe in sex? And don't just think, Okay, I'm 341 00:16:43.320 --> 00:16:45.480 going to go into a sexual situation and I'll hope 342 00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:46.120 for the best. 343 00:16:47.559 --> 00:16:51.200 Praise, So praise kings make me feel safe. So when 344 00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:53.519 a man is praise kinking me, it makes me feel 345 00:16:53.519 --> 00:16:54.440 safe exactly. 346 00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:56.559 And so you want to go into a situation and 347 00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:59.080 you want to tell people that from the beginning, as 348 00:16:59.080 --> 00:17:01.840 opposed to like hoping that they're going to hit the nail. 349 00:17:01.639 --> 00:17:01.960 On the head. 350 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:04.799 And also like specifically, like what are the kinds of 351 00:17:04.839 --> 00:17:07.039 sentences that you would want to hear because I think 352 00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:10.119 all especially women, are like I can't say exactly what 353 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:11.920 I want, then it doesn't count or blah blah blah. 354 00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:13.960 But like if You're like, I'm going into this situation 355 00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:16.640 to get some healing. Let me get the kind that 356 00:17:16.680 --> 00:17:17.799 works best for me. 357 00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:22.519 Well, I'm interested in child. Do you have any like 358 00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:25.839 what wounds? And then how do you heal them through sets? 359 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.640 Because I was wondering, I was like, what likes me? 360 00:17:27.839 --> 00:17:33.000 What about my wounds? Like me get my ass? I 361 00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:34.640 was thinking about it while I was talking. I was like, 362 00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:43.519 I don't know. I often wonder is it being punished 363 00:17:44.440 --> 00:17:46.400 the I don't feel like I'm getting punished when I 364 00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:46.799 get my ass. 365 00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:51.119 Well, I'm curious what do you feel when you get 366 00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:53.799 what do you feel when you get yours? 367 00:17:56.039 --> 00:18:01.400 No, I don't like being punished. Okay, I'm extremely dominant. Yes, 368 00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:05.839 I'm extremely dominant. What if that's a response to a trauma? 369 00:18:06.119 --> 00:18:06.319 Yeah? 370 00:18:06.599 --> 00:18:09.720 What if the fact of like I need to feel 371 00:18:09.880 --> 00:18:11.960 powerful in control. 372 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:13.559 Because maybe when you were younger you didn't feel like anywhere. 373 00:18:13.559 --> 00:18:17.480 I feel like I was exactly right, exactly. 374 00:18:17.640 --> 00:18:19.720 The same things that maybe wound up wanting to be 375 00:18:19.799 --> 00:18:23.000 in the street or you know, you know, just those 376 00:18:23.039 --> 00:18:26.480 things could be showing up now and me sexually. 377 00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:27.960 I never thought about it. 378 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:30.720 That's so crazy, and I've never thought about it in 379 00:18:30.759 --> 00:18:32.160 this in this way. 380 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:33.880 But then why do I give my assay? Then? 381 00:18:34.599 --> 00:18:37.319 Well, so here's something interesting. If you think about it 382 00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:38.720 being in a power position. 383 00:18:38.480 --> 00:18:39.279 Don't ruin this for me. 384 00:18:39.319 --> 00:18:40.359 I'm going to ruin it right now. 385 00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:59.119 This is a response to trauma. 386 00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:58.480 Response, big deal. But what if like, when you feel 387 00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:02.480 very powerful, it's like this like protective place, but when 388 00:19:02.519 --> 00:19:05.400 somebody spinks your ass, you actually feel very vulnerable, which 389 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:10.079 is healing, the protection healing on the booty. 390 00:19:11.559 --> 00:19:12.119 I like it. 391 00:19:12.200 --> 00:19:19.559 That's the name of the episode yesterday. 392 00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:23.039 Well to the opposite of that, I don't like in Spain, 393 00:19:23.799 --> 00:19:25.519 I don't like anything submissive. 394 00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:28.839 But your ass being is kind of submissive though right. 395 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:29.960 Now I do it very masculinely. 396 00:19:31.880 --> 00:19:35.519 Yeah, okay, but that's even that's really powerful because exactly, 397 00:19:35.599 --> 00:19:39.039 I think that is really vulnerable to open yourself on 398 00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:41.400 that level, to like the part of our body that 399 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:44.319 we're supposed to be most disconnected and ashamed of, and 400 00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:46.240 to be like, I'm not only going to open, but 401 00:19:46.279 --> 00:19:48.839 I'm going to let somebody put their tongue there. That's 402 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:50.000 really vulnerable. 403 00:19:50.200 --> 00:19:52.319 That's hotla. 404 00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:02.400 But then I would say, okay, what about me not 405 00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:03.480 being submissive? 406 00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:03.680 Right? 407 00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:06.759 So the dominant is one thing. That's how you show up, 408 00:20:07.359 --> 00:20:10.279 but running away is something else. Not wanting to be 409 00:20:10.319 --> 00:20:13.359 submissive is something else. I've never really been good with 410 00:20:13.559 --> 00:20:17.240 being tied up, never really being good with spanking. I've 411 00:20:17.240 --> 00:20:20.200 never been good with being choked or being slapped or 412 00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:21.000 anything like that. 413 00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:24.160 Because the healing to dominance is not submission. The healing 414 00:20:24.200 --> 00:20:29.839 to dominance is vulnerability. 415 00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:32.200 So then what is the healing to not want to 416 00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:32.839 be submissive? 417 00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:37.200 I mean, there's like playing with dominance is just like 418 00:20:37.319 --> 00:20:39.680 a way to play with the wound in sort of 419 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:42.160 like to take back agency about the way that you 420 00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:45.160 were hurt. And so there's nothing wrong with either way 421 00:20:45.240 --> 00:20:48.400 of doing it right, either being dominant or being vulnerable 422 00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:52.240 or being submissive or you know, you know the sort 423 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:55.400 of like the options there are all available. Nothing's wrong 424 00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:57.440 with any of them, but those are the But that's 425 00:20:57.480 --> 00:21:01.799 the two sides of the coin for you is dominant 426 00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:03.920 and vulnerable, and you play with both of them, which 427 00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:04.640 is so hot. 428 00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:07.119 So I have a. 429 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:10.599 Question because he's talking about like dominance and submissiveness. So 430 00:21:10.720 --> 00:21:14.759 I I like to be super submissive in the bedroom, 431 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:18.200 like I. 432 00:21:16.839 --> 00:21:19.519 Along with my praise king, I also like to be. 433 00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:26.920 Told what to do yeah, right, or I have like 434 00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:27.880 are you a good girl? 435 00:21:28.119 --> 00:21:28.519 Yeah? 436 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:31.440 Or like or things like oh you're my bitch, or 437 00:21:31.480 --> 00:21:33.200 I like hearing things like that too. 438 00:21:33.480 --> 00:21:38.319 And I always I always connected it to because in 439 00:21:38.759 --> 00:21:40.079 what I wear, I do it for work. 440 00:21:40.440 --> 00:21:43.200 I'm always planning things, I'm always telling people what to do. 441 00:21:43.240 --> 00:21:48.119 I'm always like so I aways like I always blamed 442 00:21:48.119 --> 00:21:49.640 it on that, like by the time I want to 443 00:21:49.640 --> 00:21:50.880 get to the bedroom, I just want to be told 444 00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:52.480 what to do, because I tell everybody what to do 445 00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:53.559 all day every day. 446 00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:56.119 But I'm curious if also you like this feeling of 447 00:21:56.160 --> 00:22:00.640 being like owned or possessed like my mind, I do. 448 00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:07.519 Yeah, I love one bee. 449 00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:11.920 I'm not sure exactly, so I imagine it's even more 450 00:22:12.039 --> 00:22:15.200 the ownership piece than the not wanting to like be 451 00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:16.119 in charge peace. 452 00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:19.440 Do y'all think that? Yes? 453 00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:25.200 Do y'all think that being monogamous versus polly is a 454 00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:26.279 response to trauma as well? 455 00:22:28.519 --> 00:22:30.880 I mean, you know, I think when I say something 456 00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:32.920 is a response to trauma, people think, oh, then it's 457 00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:36.480 the bad thing. Like I think, either one of them 458 00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:39.359 can be a response to trauma or not a response 459 00:22:39.400 --> 00:22:41.640 to trauma, or it can be like a mix of them, 460 00:22:41.720 --> 00:22:43.880 you know, but one it's not one or the other. 461 00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:44.400 Right. 462 00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:47.680 Well, I was speaking to somebody earlier and he was like, yo, 463 00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:49.759 I used to cheat all the time, and then I 464 00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:53.440 realized I could just be Polly, and I didn't know 465 00:22:53.519 --> 00:22:56.799 Polly was a thing, and I thought that was very interesting. 466 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:59.559 But I also was wondering, oh, wait, what about you? 467 00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:03.119 Because I cheat all the time too, and me back 468 00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:06.440 then made us cheat all the time, Like what about 469 00:23:06.559 --> 00:23:09.559 what happened in us? Where we the minute we felt 470 00:23:09.599 --> 00:23:12.079 a way, we went off and healed somewhere else. 471 00:23:12.920 --> 00:23:14.519 I don't know that that's the case. I feel like 472 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:17.200 we live in a monogamous paradigm and so we don't 473 00:23:17.240 --> 00:23:19.799 even see the option of being open, and so many 474 00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:22.680 people are not monogamous, and so you're gonna cheat because 475 00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:24.839 you think, okay, my only option here is to be 476 00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:27.079 in a monogamous relationship. You make a promise that you 477 00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:29.440 don't want to and can't keep, but you can't actually 478 00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:32.200 say I don't want to be an anogamous relationship, and 479 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:34.200 so you cheat. We just don't have it on the menu. 480 00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:35.880 I feel like if we had it on the menu 481 00:23:35.880 --> 00:23:38.119 from the beginning and everybody thought it was healthy, and normal. 482 00:23:38.319 --> 00:23:40.079 Then it just be like okay, which am I, Let's 483 00:23:40.119 --> 00:23:42.240 match up with somebody who fits that. But instead we're 484 00:23:42.279 --> 00:23:44.640 all supposed to be monogamous. So many people end up 485 00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:47.400 in monogamous connections and then they're like I don't actually 486 00:23:47.480 --> 00:23:49.880 want to They feel trapped. They feel trapped. 487 00:23:49.880 --> 00:23:51.640 Well, is there a way to have that conversation with 488 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:53.359 somebody that once you've promised them one thing? 489 00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:57.759 Like how do you even Courtney? Cause somebody because you're 490 00:23:57.799 --> 00:23:59.480 open to it? Am I right? 491 00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:04.200 I was open to it, I was, but it's not me. 492 00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:09.519 What about what about that situation would have made you 493 00:24:09.559 --> 00:24:11.440 feel like, you know what, I'm cool with that. 494 00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:13.400 Oh you're just lying to yourself until you know. 495 00:24:13.599 --> 00:24:15.680 I wasn't lying to myself. I want to try it, 496 00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:18.799 and once I did, I was just like this is 497 00:24:18.839 --> 00:24:21.839 not for me. Yeah, this is like it's not for me. 498 00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:25.640 So I think it's good to try things and see 499 00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:27.759 what works for you, you know, like, but we don't know 500 00:24:27.839 --> 00:24:28.519 until we try. 501 00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:33.720 Yeah yeah, okay, Well but if someone said your question 502 00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:35.400 was is someone to say to me like, oh, I 503 00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:37.519 promised to be in this monogamous relationship with you and 504 00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:40.039 then they turn around and be like, well, I really 505 00:24:40.039 --> 00:24:45.119 want to be Polly, Like, how would I react to it? 506 00:24:45.119 --> 00:24:47.000 It's hard because I'm in this space, so I know 507 00:24:47.079 --> 00:24:52.000 that that grace needs to be given relationship over Yeah, 508 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:53.160 it might have to be. 509 00:24:52.920 --> 00:24:55.160 Because I'm not in that space. I don't want to 510 00:24:55.160 --> 00:24:56.000 be in a What. 511 00:24:55.920 --> 00:24:57.960 Advice would you give her if if y'all went to counseling. 512 00:24:58.079 --> 00:24:59.839 I see it happen all the time, Like a couple 513 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:04.200 start out monogamous and then one of them says, actually 514 00:25:04.359 --> 00:25:07.279 I signed up for something without realizing that I actually 515 00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:09.559 didn't want that. Like I remember we worked with one 516 00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:13.160 couple where he had he was a pastor and they 517 00:25:13.319 --> 00:25:15.519 had a monogamous marriage, and then he realized that he 518 00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:17.000 liked orgies and. 519 00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:21.880 She was like, what, but how do you go from 520 00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:25.400 a pastor to an orgy? Like what happens? He's gonna 521 00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:27.160 think about it? Did even church one day and you 522 00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:29.559 just see an orgy inside the road? How do you 523 00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:33.000 get to orgie from the fucking I don't think. 524 00:25:34.119 --> 00:25:35.359 I don't think anything happened. 525 00:25:35.400 --> 00:25:37.119 I think it was probably always inside of him, but 526 00:25:37.160 --> 00:25:39.119 he never was able to honor it. You know, he 527 00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:42.240 probably fantasized about it, masturbated about it, but like wasn't 528 00:25:42.279 --> 00:25:44.519 actually able to say it until like fifteen years into 529 00:25:44.599 --> 00:25:46.880 this marriage because he was like, Okay, I don't want 530 00:25:46.920 --> 00:25:49.559 to live my whole life without ever being who I 531 00:25:49.599 --> 00:25:50.160 truly am. 532 00:25:50.279 --> 00:25:51.799 Right, and I see a lot of people and the 533 00:25:51.799 --> 00:25:54.079 Bible looks down on it too, So it's like. 534 00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:58.839 It's yeah, so it's hard, But I think what's really hard, 535 00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:02.039 like this idea that you sign up about me? 536 00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:08.359 Sorry, my mind just be wondering. I like orgies to 537 00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:09.680 pastor Duncan. 538 00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:18.240 To have the past the duncan you know, crazy, But 539 00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:20.400 I do think we sign up for things like and 540 00:26:20.440 --> 00:26:23.039 then it's almost like we're signing up and saying, Okay, 541 00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:24.799 for the rest of my life, I'm going to know 542 00:26:24.920 --> 00:26:26.440 for sure that this is what I like. How do 543 00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:28.240 we sign up for something at twenty five and think 544 00:26:28.519 --> 00:26:30.480 for sure at fifty five that's who I'm going to 545 00:26:30.519 --> 00:26:33.200 be exactly? It's impossible. So it's like if we don't 546 00:26:33.240 --> 00:26:35.640 see that change needs to be built into these systems, 547 00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:37.960 then they're not going to be sustainable. 548 00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:38.440 Right. 549 00:26:38.839 --> 00:26:42.680 I was actually having this conversation in the discord. I asked, 550 00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:47.839 how long if after you've been in a monogamous relationship 551 00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:50.839 with somebody you feel trust, you feel respect, things are 552 00:26:50.839 --> 00:26:54.960 going well, but it's say, how long into that relationship 553 00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:58.440 would you be open to them coming to you and 554 00:26:58.480 --> 00:27:02.160 saying something like, hey, I want to ask for somebody else. 555 00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:07.079 I want to experience something different, right, and like you. 556 00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:10.039 Spoke, you spoke about this one situation, where as with 557 00:27:10.119 --> 00:27:11.640 the girl, the woman. 558 00:27:12.920 --> 00:27:15.960 Just wanted to make sure that he kept the relationship. 559 00:27:15.319 --> 00:27:18.240 First, or the family time, the family time first, Like 560 00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:20.400 it doesn't. I don't feel like I'm losing out on 561 00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:23.680 what or my pleasure or my time or whatever. How 562 00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:25.759 long do you have to be with somebody as a 563 00:27:25.799 --> 00:27:29.559 monogamous person to have that conversation and be open to it. 564 00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:30.519 I don't know. 565 00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:32.960 I think for me, this person got to be my 566 00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:35.759 best friend, and I can just be like, you know, 567 00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:38.200 you're coming to me as my best friend. You're saying, hey, listen, 568 00:27:38.279 --> 00:27:41.200 like I'm feeling these feelings and out of respect, I 569 00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:43.079 want to talk to you about these feelings and I 570 00:27:43.160 --> 00:27:44.559 want to see where your head is at with that. 571 00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:47.359 I can respect that and be like, you know what, 572 00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:50.559 you know, let's try. 573 00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:51.640 It, Let's see what happens. 574 00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:55.720 But I think you just really got to be in 575 00:27:55.720 --> 00:27:58.759 tune with your partner. And I think that's for me. 576 00:27:58.920 --> 00:28:01.559 I think that's kind of it's rare. 577 00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:03.359 It's rare for me. 578 00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:05.319 I think it's kind of rare that I think that 579 00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:06.119 most people. 580 00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:08.480 Look at their partner as some type of ownership yea thing. 581 00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:10.799 And I know we use that in the sex world, right, 582 00:28:10.839 --> 00:28:12.680 we use the word ownership, But if you really think 583 00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:13.279 about it. 584 00:28:13.440 --> 00:28:15.839 Experiencing somebody, you don't own anybody you. 585 00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:25.000 Experience because like if we're together, you might, you might dun. 586 00:28:28.279 --> 00:28:29.039 Less here. 587 00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:35.799 I mean, but you're my friend, you know what I mean. 588 00:28:36.319 --> 00:28:38.000 I want what's best for you. I love you. I 589 00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:40.039 want to experience you for life. This is the lifelong 590 00:28:40.119 --> 00:28:43.319 partner thing. But that ownership ship means I gotta like 591 00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:44.680 in this. 592 00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.079 So I think it's really powerful to play with ownership, 593 00:28:49.160 --> 00:28:51.200 Like you can play with it in the bedroom and 594 00:28:51.240 --> 00:28:54.240 then you might think, okay, it can be healing like 595 00:28:54.359 --> 00:28:57.880 you do, and then you see like, Okay, once I 596 00:28:57.920 --> 00:29:00.880 feel completely owned and possessed and connect, did do I 597 00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:03.440 feel safe enough that my partner go and play with 598 00:29:03.480 --> 00:29:05.079 someone else, you know, So that can be like a 599 00:29:05.119 --> 00:29:08.160 bonding or healing and then you're still you're. 600 00:29:08.039 --> 00:29:10.960 Still ownership in the you mean like leashes and ship. 601 00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:13.720 I mean, sure whatever when I feel what makes you 602 00:29:13.720 --> 00:29:14.359 feel like. 603 00:29:15.279 --> 00:29:17.640 Yeah, I said, I said, you're my bitch, like you 604 00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:19.559 know those that makes her feel you're. 605 00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:29.680 Talking to him when he told me, he's that's my pussy, You're. 606 00:29:29.559 --> 00:29:30.400 My good girl. 607 00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:33.079 Like all of that ownership stuff is really hot to 608 00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:34.160 play with in the bedroom. 609 00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:36.240 I remember I had this this chick that I was 610 00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:39.000 playing with, and I told her I want to see 611 00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:42.079 her fucking with somebody. So she went and she sucked 612 00:29:42.119 --> 00:29:43.640 the dude and I was like, you know, you did 613 00:29:43.640 --> 00:29:46.000 it wrong. I want to see So now I want 614 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:47.599 you to go back in there. I want you to 615 00:29:47.640 --> 00:29:49.240 start it up, and I want you to tell him 616 00:29:49.240 --> 00:29:51.440 i'monna cole this FaceTime. He wants to watch, and I 617 00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:55.000 want you to do it while I'm watching. That's ownership. 618 00:29:55.079 --> 00:29:55.880 That's ownership. 619 00:29:56.039 --> 00:29:58.720 That's but she didn't. She didn't. I guess she got 620 00:29:58.720 --> 00:29:59.960 in there. She exactly. 621 00:30:06.039 --> 00:30:06.920 I supposed to FaceTime. 622 00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:12.440 I forget, But I actually like that idea of, like, 623 00:30:12.680 --> 00:30:17.319 you know, feeling owned and possessed to the point where 624 00:30:17.319 --> 00:30:20.279 you can be okay with you're part of being like yeah, 625 00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:22.599 go ahead, because I'm like your mind's I'm yours to. 626 00:30:22.599 --> 00:30:29.200 Go exactly know you, But again I think that I 627 00:30:29.240 --> 00:30:30.880 don't know if I want to use the word hierarchy. 628 00:30:32.119 --> 00:30:34.279 I'm cool with her playing I'm cool with my girl 629 00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:37.680 playing somebody else as long as they know I'm cool 630 00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:38.640 with it. 631 00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:39.640 It has to be that way. 632 00:30:39.920 --> 00:30:41.880 It can't be on some creep ship like they think 633 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:44.240 they that they that she's behind my back. 634 00:30:44.359 --> 00:30:48.400 Yes, you know what I mean. There's a possibility of 635 00:30:48.519 --> 00:30:49.559 them taking her from me. 636 00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:51.720 And I said this before, and I don't know if 637 00:30:51.720 --> 00:30:55.759 there's some cookshit, but I literally said, you go on 638 00:30:55.799 --> 00:30:58.720 a date. I want to show up, pay for the meal, 639 00:30:59.319 --> 00:31:01.400 and leave. I want them to know. 640 00:31:01.480 --> 00:31:06.240 Hold up, I know everything that you're on my Yes, you. 641 00:31:06.279 --> 00:31:06.720 Know what I'm saying. 642 00:31:08.440 --> 00:31:11.079 I've asserted that power and I told her you and 643 00:31:11.559 --> 00:31:14.160 you better make her nut. You know what I mean, 644 00:31:15.319 --> 00:31:18.000 have a good time tonight. You understand what I'm saying. 645 00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:22.720 But that's the ownership part, Am I right? And that 646 00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:26.039 would make me feel powerful. You understand what I'm saying. 647 00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:29.319 That would make me feel powerful. And I think that 648 00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:32.480 the very opposite of that, which is the reason people 649 00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:36.839 feel violated, is when you take that from them and 650 00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:39.680 you do it behind their back. They feel weak, They 651 00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:41.480 have no control over the make the way you make 652 00:31:41.480 --> 00:31:46.400 them feel you. You feel violated, like completely violated when 653 00:31:46.440 --> 00:31:47.839 you don't share that information. 654 00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:50.079 I think that information. 655 00:31:50.039 --> 00:31:52.599 When you get cheated on, that's how the same exact way. 656 00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:55.799 People think exactly you feel weak. But I don't think 657 00:31:55.799 --> 00:31:56.359 that that. 658 00:31:58.599 --> 00:32:02.200 Registers to men, because I don't think that most women, 659 00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:05.640 especially monogamous women. And this is sorry generalizing. I do 660 00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:08.920 this all the time. Y'all know me. It's a habit 661 00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:11.319 and I don't mean to because there's a lot of women, 662 00:32:11.440 --> 00:32:14.759 especially in our lifestyle in this community that I're open 663 00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:15.079 to that. 664 00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:16.960 But outside of this. 665 00:32:17.759 --> 00:32:19.279 Y'all not trying to have a guy come to you 666 00:32:19.319 --> 00:32:21.400 and be like, hey, I want to experience this other women, 667 00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:25.319 that's just not you. All right, go go ahead bye 668 00:32:25.480 --> 00:32:28.640 and take your stuff with you blocked on everything, and 669 00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:29.160 that's it. 670 00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:31.279 We don't have to you go experience. 671 00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:34.759 Surely you have fun, thank you, but no, so that 672 00:32:35.039 --> 00:32:38.359 avenue is not open for us to really have that conversation. 673 00:32:39.119 --> 00:32:41.400 So I wanted to know why y'all think we would tell. 674 00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:47.160 Y'all, I wonder if there's like a safety factor there, right, Like, 675 00:32:48.039 --> 00:32:50.759 are you making the relationship safe enough for us to 676 00:32:50.839 --> 00:32:54.720 even explore this, because if I don't feel safe in 677 00:32:54.759 --> 00:32:57.359 the relationship, I'm not gonna want you to go out 678 00:32:57.359 --> 00:32:58.240 and do whatever you want to do. 679 00:32:58.279 --> 00:33:00.240 Everything's shut down, bye bye. 680 00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:03.759 But like, if we have a safe and secure relationship, 681 00:33:03.839 --> 00:33:06.839 I would that would make me more open to it. 682 00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:09.920 So can I just find something else? It touches your 683 00:33:09.960 --> 00:33:12.880 sense of power, and it touches your sense of safety. 684 00:33:13.279 --> 00:33:15.880 And we've been talking about what are the wounds safety? 685 00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:25.200 Get the fuck out of here, let me leave it. 686 00:33:26.079 --> 00:33:30.960 What time is it time to go? That was un 687 00:33:31.480 --> 00:33:32.480 fucking believable. 688 00:33:33.799 --> 00:33:36.839 What's the time on this thirty three minutes? She just 689 00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:38.279 really just nailed us. 690 00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:40.759 In the thirty minutes thirty episode. 691 00:33:41.240 --> 00:33:44.960 Yeah, all right, you've been studying intimacy? How long? How 692 00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:45.960 long have you been studying this? 693 00:33:46.039 --> 00:33:47.880 Well, I mean twenty years. I've been doing this work, 694 00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:50.440 but studying intimacy most of my life. I think it's 695 00:33:50.440 --> 00:33:52.839 been something that's been so interesting to me my whole life. 696 00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:56.200 But we're writing a book about these wounds power safety, 697 00:33:56.240 --> 00:33:59.880 Yeah yeah, that was going to come out soon, got it? 698 00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:02.599 And how it affects our turn ons and you guys 699 00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:04.480 are illustrating it so beautifully. 700 00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:06.200 She just. 701 00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:11.800 Us we talk about it and she just nailed. She 702 00:34:11.880 --> 00:34:13.840 was like, look you see how this is got m 703 00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:17.679 got him? Now, this is this thing that you that 704 00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:23.199 you domaticaa? What is that? What is this? 705 00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:26.880 SOMATICA is our method. So it's an experiential method of 706 00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:29.039 sex and relationship coaching. So it's not just talking but 707 00:34:29.079 --> 00:34:34.559 actually embodied experiential practicing with erotic and emotional connection with 708 00:34:34.840 --> 00:34:37.360 couples or individuals. So if if you come to me 709 00:34:37.400 --> 00:34:40.119 as a client, I'm going to practice with you in 710 00:34:40.159 --> 00:34:42.760 real time as like a practice partner if that's comfortable 711 00:34:42.760 --> 00:34:45.800 for you, or a mentor and same, you know, or 712 00:34:45.840 --> 00:34:47.400 if you came to me as a couple, then we 713 00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:51.199 would have you practice with each other. But it's experiential. 714 00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:52.679 It's not just like talk talk talk, you know. 715 00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:55.719 It's like can I ask a question that it's probably 716 00:34:55.719 --> 00:34:56.360 I shouldn't ask. 717 00:34:56.559 --> 00:34:59.960 You can ask any questions. I can decide whether I'll 718 00:34:59.960 --> 00:35:00.559 to answer. 719 00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:03.119 It, all right, all right, So don't answer unless you 720 00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:06.440 feel like answering this experimental. 721 00:35:08.199 --> 00:35:11.679 Yeah, is it play It's like can it get playful? 722 00:35:11.679 --> 00:35:12.639 Can it get like? Oh? Yeah? 723 00:35:12.679 --> 00:35:14.480 We have something called the animal game where we're like 724 00:35:14.599 --> 00:35:15.719 rolling around on the floor. 725 00:35:15.800 --> 00:35:17.800 No, no, no, I was talking about like, actually, are. 726 00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:19.719 We getting naked? No, we don't get naked. 727 00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:30.760 That's hot quick and get really hot. 728 00:35:30.840 --> 00:35:32.400 It can get really yeah. 729 00:35:32.440 --> 00:35:34.400 Yeah, I feel like there could be some sexual tension, 730 00:35:34.440 --> 00:35:36.400 right if you're talking like animal play. 731 00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:39.440 No, No, we actually practice with sexual attention and flirtation. 732 00:35:39.679 --> 00:35:41.639 And because that's how do you learn how to be 733 00:35:41.679 --> 00:35:45.039 a better lover or seduce someone or show passion if 734 00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:46.920 you don't have any place you can safely practice it 735 00:35:46.920 --> 00:35:49.400 and get feedback, That's what our method is all about. 736 00:35:50.199 --> 00:35:52.000 I actually like that because I think a lot of 737 00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:54.639 people are losing the art of seduction. 738 00:35:54.920 --> 00:35:58.360 Yes, I know there's things that like you. 739 00:35:58.280 --> 00:36:02.159 Can say, there's things you can do, playful touches, words, 740 00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:04.280 text messages, and I think. 741 00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:05.760 There's a lost art to it. 742 00:36:05.880 --> 00:36:07.599 That's why it's a close on practice because once you 743 00:36:07.639 --> 00:36:09.119 get your clothes off, you know, you do what you do, 744 00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:12.360 but all that build up and like touch and looking 745 00:36:12.519 --> 00:36:15.719 and words and energy, like all of that can create 746 00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:19.800 so much more arousal and much more explosive orgasms. 747 00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:21.079 And I'm all about. 748 00:36:21.079 --> 00:36:24.679 Okay, okay, okay, okay, I didn't actually this I'm an Actually, yes, 749 00:36:26.199 --> 00:36:31.320 that's me. Can you show us an example of some 750 00:36:31.400 --> 00:36:33.639 type of thing that you do? 751 00:36:34.159 --> 00:36:37.679 How would what would the example be? Would it be verbal? Physical? Like? What? 752 00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:39.639 Yeah? We can do anything we can do like in 753 00:36:39.719 --> 00:36:43.320 the moment, like authentic feelings, We could do the most 754 00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:46.360 arousing types of touch. We can do showing passion, like 755 00:36:46.679 --> 00:36:48.079 what do you want to do? And who do you 756 00:36:48.119 --> 00:36:48.920 want me to do it? 757 00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:51.119 I knew he was gonna come over here. 758 00:36:51.119 --> 00:36:53.719 He's got to be heard. I don't want to get hard, 759 00:36:58.360 --> 00:36:59.519 but are you open to it? 760 00:36:59.559 --> 00:37:00.639 Yeah? 761 00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:02.119 So what would you like to do? 762 00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:05.440 Like? I love words of affirmation, so we'll do We'll 763 00:37:05.440 --> 00:37:06.280 do verbal. 764 00:37:06.320 --> 00:37:09.239 Okay, so you want to hear words of affirmation. 765 00:37:09.559 --> 00:37:10.159 And the artist? 766 00:37:11.159 --> 00:37:12.239 You know, that was my thing. 767 00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:14.800 I love this, I love it and I think it 768 00:37:14.840 --> 00:37:17.079 would be really helpful. I know some of the things 769 00:37:17.079 --> 00:37:19.280 that you like to hear. But if there's any sentences 770 00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:21.679 that are just like you know for sure, because when 771 00:37:21.679 --> 00:37:23.800 you tell a partner I want like as if I'm 772 00:37:23.800 --> 00:37:26.119 your partner, who's going to seduce you? Like? 773 00:37:26.800 --> 00:37:28.320 What do you want me to say? 774 00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:30.480 Oh? 775 00:37:31.599 --> 00:37:32.519 You nasty bitch? 776 00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:38.559 No, I want to hear you are the most beautiful 777 00:37:39.119 --> 00:37:39.800 woman in this. 778 00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:40.440 Room right now. 779 00:37:41.159 --> 00:37:43.039 I mean, that's easy to say. 780 00:37:45.159 --> 00:37:46.960 You picked something easy. 781 00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:55.559 Sorry wait wait, wait listen, you are the most beautiful 782 00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:57.360 woman in this room right now. 783 00:37:59.320 --> 00:38:00.599 That would yeah. 784 00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:02.800 So let's let's see what it feels like in your body. 785 00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:04.599 What happens when I said, what do you notice? 786 00:38:04.719 --> 00:38:10.079 I feel I'm getting hot? Yeah, and I'm feeling I'm 787 00:38:10.079 --> 00:38:12.119 feeling hot, like I'm feeling like, oh, this person is 788 00:38:12.159 --> 00:38:12.719 really into me. 789 00:38:13.079 --> 00:38:17.840 You're looking hot. I am really into you. Yeah. 790 00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:22.119 See that it's yeah for me. 791 00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:27.320 And there's a whole bodily response that lets you know 792 00:38:27.360 --> 00:38:28.039 that it's doing it. 793 00:38:28.639 --> 00:38:31.960 Like there's a there's a tingling feeling in my fingers, 794 00:38:32.239 --> 00:38:34.800 there's like hotness creeping, like it's coming from the bottom 795 00:38:34.840 --> 00:38:38.400 and coming up to the top like deep. 796 00:38:38.599 --> 00:38:39.800 I love to go deeper. 797 00:38:40.159 --> 00:38:40.400 Let me. 798 00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:46.239 I mean, I feel like he's like, I'm in charge 799 00:38:46.239 --> 00:38:47.280 that let's make this happen. 800 00:38:48.199 --> 00:38:50.000 Oh, exactly, exactly. 801 00:38:50.159 --> 00:38:51.719 No, he gets his fantasy too. 802 00:38:56.599 --> 00:38:56.760 Well. 803 00:38:56.840 --> 00:38:58.480 I only want to go as far as you want 804 00:38:58.519 --> 00:38:58.719 to go. 805 00:38:59.119 --> 00:38:59.880 We can go deeper. 806 00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:02.119 I mean, your safety is really important to me. 807 00:39:02.519 --> 00:39:05.159 Thank you, thank you. I appreciate that. 808 00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:07.719 What happens when I say that, my heart fluttered? 809 00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:10.840 Yeah, my heart fluttered, pussy open though. 810 00:39:11.159 --> 00:39:15.719 Sorry, sorry, sorry, my bad. 811 00:39:15.800 --> 00:39:17.400 I'm not shouldn't be here, I'm not here, I'm not here. 812 00:39:18.440 --> 00:39:21.599 Well, so, m it sounds like the praise touches your 813 00:39:21.599 --> 00:39:23.400 pussy and the safety touches your heart. 814 00:39:24.199 --> 00:39:24.480 Yeah. 815 00:39:24.559 --> 00:39:27.039 Yeah, so the combination of those two things. I can 816 00:39:27.079 --> 00:39:29.719 only imagine how open you would be if somebody can 817 00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:30.960 touch your heart and your pussy. 818 00:39:31.880 --> 00:39:35.000 Girl, let me not cry on this damn show. 819 00:39:35.800 --> 00:39:38.719 Okay, So you do the verbal, right, You do the 820 00:39:38.760 --> 00:39:39.800 verbal Celeste, right. 821 00:39:40.519 --> 00:39:43.519 I just can we just one more second? No, it's okay. 822 00:39:43.559 --> 00:39:44.840 I like you being in charge. 823 00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:47.119 Of just one more I like being okay. 824 00:39:47.239 --> 00:39:49.960 I just want you to notice like that need of 825 00:39:49.960 --> 00:39:53.480 that combination, and that that's the combination that's gonna make 826 00:39:53.559 --> 00:39:57.280 you feel most safe to be open again. Right, So 827 00:39:57.360 --> 00:39:58.519 that's what you want to look for. 828 00:40:00.239 --> 00:40:05.199 Sorry, I don't want to cry. Why did you do 829 00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:11.840 this the right time? I'm not gonna cry. 830 00:40:11.880 --> 00:40:14.960 I'm not gonna oserve that you deserve that. That's all 831 00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:15.679 I'm gonna say. 832 00:40:16.039 --> 00:40:18.400 Thank you. I appreciate that. But that's something good to 833 00:40:18.480 --> 00:40:19.719 really think to look out for. 834 00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:22.519 Yeah, you'll want to be noticed, That's what I really 835 00:40:22.519 --> 00:40:23.840 want and't just like hope. 836 00:40:24.400 --> 00:40:27.880 Yeah, like pay attention, and I can come to these 837 00:40:28.400 --> 00:40:30.360 and I can come to people and tell them exactly, 838 00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:32.559 this is what I need. And if you just don't, 839 00:40:32.679 --> 00:40:35.480 if this is basic instructions and if you can't follow it, 840 00:40:35.519 --> 00:40:36.519 then maybe this is. 841 00:40:36.440 --> 00:40:39.440 Not for This is not for me exactly. 842 00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:41.840 Okay, that was I just wanted to make sure we 843 00:40:41.960 --> 00:40:42.639 got the full. 844 00:40:42.599 --> 00:40:45.679 Well, you really did something there, But I do realize 845 00:40:45.719 --> 00:40:47.280 that she's her walls up. 846 00:40:48.079 --> 00:40:53.079 Yeah, her armor is on right, So how you may 847 00:40:53.119 --> 00:40:53.920 have feel vulnerable? 848 00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:56.400 She let it down right now because I touched her 849 00:40:56.400 --> 00:40:58.760 heart and her pussy, probably a little bit in the 850 00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:01.920 wrong order, but it was okay because we set it 851 00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:04.440 up that way. But I'm guessing you actually need the 852 00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:07.440 safety then the arousal. So that's important for her to 853 00:41:07.480 --> 00:41:08.079 know as well. 854 00:41:08.599 --> 00:41:09.599 Is there a way. 855 00:41:11.039 --> 00:41:18.920 For people to practice vulnerability with people who aren't their partners? Like, 856 00:41:20.159 --> 00:41:23.599 that's my job, but how does the average person do that? 857 00:41:23.639 --> 00:41:26.400 And the way that now transfers back to their real 858 00:41:26.440 --> 00:41:27.239 relationships and. 859 00:41:27.159 --> 00:41:27.840 Stuff like that. 860 00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:30.360 She now knows what she's looking for and we did 861 00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:31.360 that in three minutes. 862 00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:34.639 Do you just speak affirmations to people? Well? 863 00:41:34.679 --> 00:41:38.360 No, that's because what I specifically, like, but for someone 864 00:41:38.440 --> 00:41:41.039 like you, maybe different is what I'm guessing, right. 865 00:41:40.840 --> 00:41:43.360 Yeah, and maybe like what maybe some kind of touch 866 00:41:43.400 --> 00:41:46.599 would actually be what makes her feel safe, and then 867 00:41:46.639 --> 00:41:49.039 we would work with you. What makes you feel powerful? 868 00:41:49.239 --> 00:41:52.199 How do you negotiate that in your relationships? What allows 869 00:41:52.239 --> 00:41:55.280 you to be vulnerable? How do you let people in? 870 00:41:55.760 --> 00:41:57.760 You know? So it's different, you're working with different people, 871 00:41:57.800 --> 00:42:01.000 different wounds. But when you actually practice, then you get 872 00:42:01.119 --> 00:42:03.400 down because did you see it was all embodied? She 873 00:42:03.519 --> 00:42:06.519 was able to notice, Oh, I feel this movement down 874 00:42:06.559 --> 00:42:08.840 my legs, I feel my heart open. All of that 875 00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:11.079 is information for her in the future to use when 876 00:42:11.119 --> 00:42:14.199 I feel those things again in combination, I'm with somebody 877 00:42:14.239 --> 00:42:16.519 who I really can have a deep connection with, you know, 878 00:42:16.559 --> 00:42:19.000 so we could do the same with you. But when 879 00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:20.840 you sort of pattern it in the body, which is 880 00:42:20.840 --> 00:42:23.480 what Samanika is all about, then you're like you get 881 00:42:23.480 --> 00:42:25.800 all this wisdom about how to look for it out 882 00:42:25.840 --> 00:42:28.000 in the world, not just in a mental way checklist, 883 00:42:28.039 --> 00:42:28.880 because that doesn't. 884 00:42:28.639 --> 00:42:29.000 Help at all. 885 00:42:29.039 --> 00:42:30.719 I want somebody who will do this thought and it's 886 00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:33.559 like whatever, It's like, No, I feel it in my body. 887 00:42:33.639 --> 00:42:36.239 I know what I need you. 888 00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:42.440 I read that, you know, going into relationships that what 889 00:42:42.639 --> 00:42:45.440 you practice is at not to go in with a checklist, 890 00:42:45.480 --> 00:42:49.199 Like like checklists don't work, they don't, like not if. 891 00:42:49.079 --> 00:42:51.519 They're coming from here, you know. But if you have 892 00:42:51.679 --> 00:42:55.199 this embodied like, oh, these are the sensations that I 893 00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:56.920 want to have, These are the emotions that I. 894 00:42:56.880 --> 00:42:57.280 Want to have. 895 00:42:57.400 --> 00:42:59.960 That's a different kind of It's not really a checklist, 896 00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:01.760 it's an experience. 897 00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:02.119 You know. 898 00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:05.400 This is that experience that I'm looking for that feels 899 00:43:05.800 --> 00:43:07.239 that lets me open. 900 00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:07.760 You know what. 901 00:43:07.800 --> 00:43:09.320 That's so funny because I think a lot of us 902 00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:12.159 come from the mental checklist of like he has to 903 00:43:12.199 --> 00:43:15.559 have this type of job, he has to look like this, 904 00:43:15.840 --> 00:43:19.840 he needs to do that. But we don't think about 905 00:43:19.880 --> 00:43:21.679 like what are the type of experiences we want to 906 00:43:21.719 --> 00:43:24.119 have with this person? Right Like because like what if 907 00:43:24.239 --> 00:43:25.920 one of your experiences you like to have with a 908 00:43:25.960 --> 00:43:28.360 partner is traveling because you feel like traveling makes you 909 00:43:28.400 --> 00:43:31.119 feel like a little bit closer and and you know, 910 00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:34.000 and they have all this stuff on your mental checklist, 911 00:43:34.039 --> 00:43:37.400 but they're not giving the experience of like travel, Like 912 00:43:37.639 --> 00:43:38.960 that's how I think of it. 913 00:43:39.000 --> 00:43:41.360 Is what you're saying, yeah, or what is it that 914 00:43:41.559 --> 00:43:44.079 travel makes you feel. You know, maybe people who want 915 00:43:44.079 --> 00:43:47.119 to feel free or adventuresome, right, Like I think we 916 00:43:47.199 --> 00:43:48.760 really want to get down to the nitty gritty of 917 00:43:48.760 --> 00:43:51.199 what we want to feel and then what things make 918 00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:53.880 us feel that way, and then we want to find partners. 919 00:43:54.199 --> 00:43:56.480 So maybe they aren't exactly the same as us, maybe 920 00:43:56.480 --> 00:43:58.599 they're kind of opposite, but they give us that feeling. 921 00:43:58.840 --> 00:44:01.559 Got it right, Like a dominant and submissive are very 922 00:44:01.559 --> 00:44:03.679 different from each other, but they give each other the 923 00:44:03.760 --> 00:44:05.039 feelings that they want to have. 924 00:44:06.199 --> 00:44:09.639 Let me ask you a question, Yes, if I'm practicing 925 00:44:09.679 --> 00:44:13.320 a somatica method or if I am open with myself, 926 00:44:14.119 --> 00:44:16.400 is there a way for me to get Because I 927 00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:19.920 might meet somebody somewhere but they don't know that method, 928 00:44:20.199 --> 00:44:24.679 they aren't familiar. How do I get somebody to practice 929 00:44:24.760 --> 00:44:27.199 the way I'm practicing if they're not used to it? 930 00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:27.599 I know. 931 00:44:27.639 --> 00:44:29.840 That's the thing. Is like when I have a new partner, 932 00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:32.360 I always have to help kind of talk them through 933 00:44:32.440 --> 00:44:34.239 how to be with me in a particular way. So 934 00:44:34.320 --> 00:44:37.000 once you learn it for yourself, then you also can 935 00:44:37.079 --> 00:44:40.480 learn how to invite people into it, right, And it's like, 936 00:44:40.559 --> 00:44:42.159 how do you get somebody into their. 937 00:44:42.039 --> 00:44:49.000 Body more, right, can you? I notice in dating. 938 00:44:51.639 --> 00:44:57.079 It's very hard to trust people, especially because you rarely 939 00:44:57.199 --> 00:45:02.159 meet the person they really are, or you rarely meet 940 00:45:02.719 --> 00:45:05.280 a lot of times they don't know who they are, right, 941 00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:08.360 And so it's like, how do I protect myself while 942 00:45:08.440 --> 00:45:10.559 still trying to establish trust? 943 00:45:10.880 --> 00:45:13.079 I know, and the power wound is about trust. I 944 00:45:13.119 --> 00:45:15.199 have it too, so I really relate to that, right, 945 00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:18.639 and I think trust takes time. Like we have this idea, oh, 946 00:45:18.639 --> 00:45:20.920 I'm just supposed to trust somebody right away, but especially 947 00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:23.440 if you have the wound that we have, you won't 948 00:45:23.480 --> 00:45:25.760 trust somebody right away. So there's no reason to sort 949 00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:27.800 of like imagine that that's how it's going to be. 950 00:45:28.079 --> 00:45:30.320 Even if they're the most trustworthy person in the world. 951 00:45:30.559 --> 00:45:33.000 You're going to be skeptical for a while and you're 952 00:45:33.039 --> 00:45:35.920 gonna protect yourself for a while, and then you need 953 00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:38.480 to kind of check are they being consistent? Do they 954 00:45:38.519 --> 00:45:40.760 seem to be honest? It takes months or you know, 955 00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:42.599 maybe a year. I don't know how long it takes, 956 00:45:42.599 --> 00:45:45.519 but to actually open yourself up in that way vulnerably, 957 00:45:46.280 --> 00:45:48.760 like if you have that wound, takes time. So I 958 00:45:48.840 --> 00:45:49.840 just give yourself time. 959 00:45:50.239 --> 00:45:53.199 So then how can I show up honestly in this situation? 960 00:45:53.360 --> 00:45:55.800 If I know I can't, I'm not fully trust you, you. 961 00:45:55.800 --> 00:45:58.519 Say, it takes time for me to trust people. Like 962 00:45:58.559 --> 00:46:00.000 I remember I went on this date with this guy. 963 00:46:00.119 --> 00:46:02.559 I'm like, you are so sweet, Like it's really hard 964 00:46:02.840 --> 00:46:05.320 for me to believe how sweet you are. I'm wondering 965 00:46:05.360 --> 00:46:07.599 if you're like a spy trying to you know what 966 00:46:07.639 --> 00:46:11.599 I mean? And he was just like really, and I'm like, yep. 967 00:46:12.440 --> 00:46:15.039 So to be honest means to be honest about your 968 00:46:15.039 --> 00:46:17.800 wounds and your protectiveness. It doesn't mean to pretend it's 969 00:46:17.800 --> 00:46:18.159 not there. 970 00:46:19.000 --> 00:46:22.320 But then as a guy, and this might be a 971 00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:26.239 toxic thing to say, fine, the more you don't trust me, 972 00:46:26.440 --> 00:46:28.199 the more I'm trying to make you trust me. 973 00:46:29.159 --> 00:46:31.440 So now you're like, oh, that means they're going to 974 00:46:31.519 --> 00:46:32.599 even manipulate me more. 975 00:46:32.639 --> 00:46:38.320 I'm manipulating you more because I want you to trust me. 976 00:46:38.400 --> 00:46:41.800 It's something that I really desire, and sometimes to desire 977 00:46:41.840 --> 00:46:43.760 to make you like me or see me as this 978 00:46:43.840 --> 00:46:49.760 person is more fulfilling to me than whether I actually 979 00:46:49.840 --> 00:46:50.079 like you. 980 00:46:50.800 --> 00:46:52.960 Is that crazy to say no, No, that's the wound. 981 00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:56.280 You're just describing the wound perfectly. The power wound is 982 00:46:56.320 --> 00:47:01.000 all about that manipulation, fear of humiliation, lack of trust. Right, 983 00:47:01.039 --> 00:47:04.519 and so you generalize, you think everybody is like you, 984 00:47:04.559 --> 00:47:07.199 but they aren't because I'm not like that. She's not 985 00:47:07.320 --> 00:47:09.239 like that. A lot of people aren't like that. I'm 986 00:47:09.280 --> 00:47:12.760 like that. 987 00:47:13.239 --> 00:47:14.960 I'm so glad you said you were like that. 988 00:47:15.559 --> 00:47:18.719 I'm no, it's not a gender thing. It's a wound thing. 989 00:47:19.599 --> 00:47:22.199 And so for you to actually see that there are 990 00:47:22.280 --> 00:47:26.119 other people who don't actually function that way. I don't 991 00:47:26.119 --> 00:47:27.920 have an easy time dating people who have the same 992 00:47:27.960 --> 00:47:31.760 wound as I do. You won't either, because we're more 993 00:47:31.880 --> 00:47:34.679 likely to manipulate. But there are a lot of people 994 00:47:34.719 --> 00:47:37.920 who don't go to manipulation. That's just not an approach 995 00:47:37.960 --> 00:47:40.280 of theirs. So you need to find people like that. 996 00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:43.239 I used to say years ago, I'm attracted to broken people. 997 00:47:44.639 --> 00:47:45.519 Is that part of this? 998 00:47:45.880 --> 00:47:47.800 No, I think we're all I mean, who's not broken? 999 00:47:47.840 --> 00:47:55.159 It's not, it's just how broken we are thousand pieces. 1000 00:47:55.280 --> 00:47:56.800 Like a couple of pieces, you know. And it's like, 1001 00:47:56.840 --> 00:47:59.360 if somebody is so well adjusted, you're like, I don't 1002 00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:00.800 know what work? Where do you connect? 1003 00:48:01.000 --> 00:48:03.400 Right? How can I fix you? 1004 00:48:03.159 --> 00:48:06.440 If you already got you already got everything I can't like, 1005 00:48:07.079 --> 00:48:08.440 and it can be almost intimidating. 1006 00:48:08.840 --> 00:48:09.599 Yeah, and exactly. 1007 00:48:09.639 --> 00:48:12.039 And I think when you do have the power wound, 1008 00:48:12.079 --> 00:48:13.599 it's like there's a part of you that wants to 1009 00:48:13.639 --> 00:48:17.559 feel a little bit better than the person. So you 1010 00:48:17.639 --> 00:48:19.679 might be attracted to people who seem more broken because 1011 00:48:19.679 --> 00:48:22.239 you're like, it's a safer position to be in. 1012 00:48:22.199 --> 00:48:23.960 At least I'm not as broken as you. 1013 00:48:24.719 --> 00:48:29.519 But yeah, you don't really have the power to hurt 1014 00:48:29.519 --> 00:48:33.320 me exactly or to affect me exactly, because I can 1015 00:48:33.519 --> 00:48:35.800 you know you're more broken than me, so I can 1016 00:48:35.920 --> 00:48:38.800 almost act like I'm showing up and I'm doing my best, 1017 00:48:38.880 --> 00:48:40.480 and if it doesn't work out, it's. 1018 00:48:40.400 --> 00:48:42.960 Your fault, fact because you're more broken than me. 1019 00:48:43.119 --> 00:48:46.880 And I tried, I try, But in all reality, that's 1020 00:48:46.920 --> 00:48:50.920 me using my manipulation or your protection, my protection because 1021 00:48:50.960 --> 00:48:54.440 it's easier with this versus doing somebody who shows up 1022 00:48:54.440 --> 00:48:59.639 on the same level as me or higher emotionally, whatever, financially, 1023 00:49:00.519 --> 00:49:01.639 just got their shit together. 1024 00:49:01.960 --> 00:49:04.280 You know, what I appreciate about you right now, in particular, 1025 00:49:04.400 --> 00:49:06.880 is that you're not feeling defensive about this. It's just like, oh, 1026 00:49:06.920 --> 00:49:09.920 I'm learning something about myself, you know, because we can 1027 00:49:10.039 --> 00:49:13.920 sometimes feel embarrassed or defensive about our defense mechanisms. But 1028 00:49:14.480 --> 00:49:17.159 you know, you didn't have a sense of power, like 1029 00:49:17.239 --> 00:49:20.000 something didn't go well in your childhood that made you 1030 00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:23.320 feel powerless or humiliated. So you protect yourself now, which 1031 00:49:23.360 --> 00:49:26.800 is really fucking understandable. And once you have an idea 1032 00:49:26.840 --> 00:49:28.440 of the way that you're doing it, you can start 1033 00:49:28.440 --> 00:49:31.280 to undo it. But first you have to be like, Okay, 1034 00:49:31.280 --> 00:49:33.000 this is the way that I see the world. I 1035 00:49:33.039 --> 00:49:35.880 see the world as hierarchical, I see the world as manipulative, 1036 00:49:35.880 --> 00:49:39.280 I see the world as untrustworthy. Those are generalizations that 1037 00:49:39.360 --> 00:49:41.599 happen because of your wound, and now how do you 1038 00:49:41.679 --> 00:49:43.679 unpack them and see that it's not actually black and 1039 00:49:43.719 --> 00:49:44.280 white like that? 1040 00:49:45.599 --> 00:49:46.440 So that's the start. 1041 00:49:46.519 --> 00:49:55.039 Sounds like someone needs to start therapy. 1042 00:49:51.519 --> 00:49:51.719 You know. 1043 00:49:51.880 --> 00:49:54.199 When I do to show, you know, I realize that 1044 00:49:54.239 --> 00:49:56.440 you've got a lot of people that are real sexologies. 1045 00:49:56.760 --> 00:50:00.039 They've really trained you, got a lot of people that 1046 00:50:00.079 --> 00:50:02.639 are really in the lifestyle and have been for a 1047 00:50:02.679 --> 00:50:07.480 long time. Me doing the show, I'm really learning and 1048 00:50:07.519 --> 00:50:09.280 I'm trying. You got to be open to learning to 1049 00:50:09.400 --> 00:50:10.440 learn more about yourself. 1050 00:50:11.679 --> 00:50:14.840 I love that about you because you're already dropping your protections, 1051 00:50:14.840 --> 00:50:15.639 which is beautiful. 1052 00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:18.320 And I started doing that a while ago, which is 1053 00:50:18.320 --> 00:50:19.360 when I start to get my ass. 1054 00:50:21.199 --> 00:50:21.679 Do too much. 1055 00:50:21.920 --> 00:50:25.000 No, that's exactly right. You started to be vulnerable. 1056 00:50:30.320 --> 00:50:31.000 On the booty. 1057 00:50:32.039 --> 00:50:36.119 I mean, I love getting my so I can really really. 1058 00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:45.960 I think. 1059 00:50:48.360 --> 00:50:50.679 One of the things that I like about where I 1060 00:50:50.719 --> 00:50:54.480 am now is really realizing that I'm going to make 1061 00:50:54.519 --> 00:50:58.679 mistakes and that I'm not perfect, and that I don't 1062 00:50:58.719 --> 00:51:05.400 have to protect I don't have to be them. 1063 00:51:03.039 --> 00:51:04.480 I don't have to be right all the time. 1064 00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:10.079 Right, great, huh, that's huge. 1065 00:51:10.760 --> 00:51:13.280 It is because it allows me to be more human 1066 00:51:13.639 --> 00:51:16.039 and in the moment of all right, I did something, 1067 00:51:16.199 --> 00:51:19.320 or like I do wowd shit to my girl all. 1068 00:51:19.199 --> 00:51:21.760 The time, just be honest, you know what I mean. 1069 00:51:24.639 --> 00:51:27.559 We're talking in the discord the other day, and we 1070 00:51:27.599 --> 00:51:30.159 talk every day in the discord for hours. They're probably 1071 00:51:30.159 --> 00:51:32.039 in there talking right now. I didn't have to set up, 1072 00:51:34.000 --> 00:51:39.639 and I was saying, I'm so shameless. I was asking, Yo, 1073 00:51:39.679 --> 00:51:46.440 why don't women often union a relationship. They're in the 1074 00:51:46.519 --> 00:51:49.639 house and they get really comfortable, and you don't see 1075 00:51:49.639 --> 00:51:52.199 them sexy like you used to. You can lose attraction 1076 00:51:54.280 --> 00:51:56.519 and that shit can weigh on your relationship. You can 1077 00:51:56.559 --> 00:52:01.159 really love somebody, but y'all can be growing apart. So 1078 00:52:01.280 --> 00:52:03.199 forget what I was going to say, but I do 1079 00:52:03.280 --> 00:52:07.000 want to know how do you rebuild that connection with 1080 00:52:07.039 --> 00:52:10.000 your partner once you know y'all love each other, but 1081 00:52:10.239 --> 00:52:13.280 y'all are growing apart. Whether life is just life and 1082 00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:16.360 you've seeing each other every day, whatever it may be, 1083 00:52:16.800 --> 00:52:19.679 what are steps that you can take to start rebuilding 1084 00:52:20.079 --> 00:52:22.599 connections with somebody that you really love but you don't. 1085 00:52:22.400 --> 00:52:25.280 Really maybe not be attracted to y'all. Sex is and 1086 00:52:25.400 --> 00:52:27.679 sexing like it used to, you know what I mean? Like? 1087 00:52:27.960 --> 00:52:28.639 What is some steps? 1088 00:52:28.719 --> 00:52:31.800 I know long term relationships and cohabitation are hard because 1089 00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:34.360 it is hard to keep that passion and that excitement 1090 00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:36.559 and that distance, you know, all of the things. I 1091 00:52:36.559 --> 00:52:38.800 think one thing is to keep talking about yourself and 1092 00:52:38.840 --> 00:52:42.039 not like try to keep the water smooth all the time, 1093 00:52:42.079 --> 00:52:44.639 but actually like deep in intimacy by saying these are 1094 00:52:44.639 --> 00:52:46.559 things about me that are different or that have changed, 1095 00:52:46.639 --> 00:52:49.559 or that I want for myself. I think another thing 1096 00:52:49.639 --> 00:52:53.039 is to like decide you have to be proactive around sex, 1097 00:52:53.119 --> 00:52:54.440 like you can't just be like, oh, it's just going 1098 00:52:54.519 --> 00:52:57.039 to happen, you know, Like when you're dating, it's like 1099 00:52:57.280 --> 00:53:00.639 planning for sex, right, you get all ready. If you're like, 1100 00:53:00.840 --> 00:53:03.639 you know, dress all up, and then you're like you said, 1101 00:53:03.679 --> 00:53:05.280 you're in your house all day, you're laying around in 1102 00:53:05.320 --> 00:53:07.920 your sweats. You actually have to say, like, we're still 1103 00:53:07.960 --> 00:53:10.280 going to date each other, We're going to make sex 1104 00:53:10.320 --> 00:53:13.360 an important part of our lives and prioritize it. It's 1105 00:53:13.400 --> 00:53:15.159 so easy to put it on the back burner and 1106 00:53:15.199 --> 00:53:16.880 just let it slip away. So if you think it's 1107 00:53:16.920 --> 00:53:19.760 supposed to just happen, like, good luck with that, I 1108 00:53:19.800 --> 00:53:21.519 think is what I have to say. You know, but 1109 00:53:21.559 --> 00:53:23.519 you have to have the conversation like the ones we've 1110 00:53:23.519 --> 00:53:26.320 been having today about like what really turns you on? 1111 00:53:26.639 --> 00:53:29.119 And I feel like you are doing that with your partner, 1112 00:53:29.159 --> 00:53:29.880 which is great. 1113 00:53:30.480 --> 00:53:33.679 I definitely agree with the you got to keep dating, 1114 00:53:34.039 --> 00:53:38.039 especially in these long term relationships, because you then you 1115 00:53:38.119 --> 00:53:41.000 just lose the spark and it's like, well, you know, 1116 00:53:41.039 --> 00:53:43.400 we're doing the same routine every day and we're doing 1117 00:53:43.559 --> 00:53:45.440 we're seeing each other every day, and it's just like, no, 1118 00:53:45.559 --> 00:53:47.679 let's do something like we used to do when first 1119 00:53:47.679 --> 00:53:51.320 started dating. I think it's like really important that someone 1120 00:53:51.400 --> 00:53:53.519 keeps dating, Like that's something that's very important for me 1121 00:53:53.559 --> 00:53:55.519 when I'm a relationship. Even if we haven't been dating, 1122 00:53:56.000 --> 00:53:57.920 maybe we're dating for a year, I'm like, you still 1123 00:53:57.960 --> 00:53:59.480 have to we still have to date each other, Like 1124 00:53:59.519 --> 00:54:01.079 we still have to show up and date each other 1125 00:54:01.119 --> 00:54:09.039 because it can get real moot after a while. So yeah, 1126 00:54:09.159 --> 00:54:12.519 I do have a question. We were talking about a 1127 00:54:12.519 --> 00:54:16.880 lot of AI stuff on the show because they want 1128 00:54:16.920 --> 00:54:17.760 sex robots. 1129 00:54:18.239 --> 00:54:20.119 I want sexual I want six of them. 1130 00:54:20.719 --> 00:54:23.159 I'm saying, I don't think it's I think it's kind. 1131 00:54:23.039 --> 00:54:25.400 Of crazy to have a sex robot, Like what is 1132 00:54:25.400 --> 00:54:31.440 your what are your thoughts around like non human sex 1133 00:54:31.800 --> 00:54:34.280 and what that could possibly like create. 1134 00:54:35.679 --> 00:54:37.440 You know, honestly, I don't think it matters what my 1135 00:54:37.480 --> 00:54:40.760 thoughts are. It's going to happen, Like we are in there, there. 1136 00:54:41.800 --> 00:54:44.960 Came where's my camera? And I can't wait? 1137 00:54:45.239 --> 00:54:47.480 And you can't wait. Much easier to trust it all 1138 00:54:47.519 --> 00:54:55.239 than a person, you know, and maybe you can program 1139 00:54:55.239 --> 00:54:56.599 it to do exactly. 1140 00:54:56.239 --> 00:54:57.199 What you want exactly. 1141 00:54:57.599 --> 00:54:59.239 I can't wait to the realistic ones. I hope my 1142 00:54:59.239 --> 00:55:01.840 dick still works because oh, it's gonna take some time. 1143 00:55:01.880 --> 00:55:03.679 For the really realistic ones, I want them to be 1144 00:55:03.760 --> 00:55:05.400 walking around like they's like there's nothing. 1145 00:55:05.599 --> 00:55:06.760 I don't want them to be like, I. 1146 00:55:06.719 --> 00:55:08.880 Mean, there's good, there's good dick drugs. You'll be fine. 1147 00:55:09.440 --> 00:55:15.599 Yeah, go to Rockhardgummies, dot Net chocolate throws had me 1148 00:55:15.639 --> 00:55:16.639 hard for a week and a half. 1149 00:55:16.639 --> 00:55:16.840 Good. 1150 00:55:16.960 --> 00:55:19.559 I do think there will be still always people who 1151 00:55:19.719 --> 00:55:22.199 want to interact with other people, you know, like some 1152 00:55:22.239 --> 00:55:24.039 people will want the dolls, some people will want a 1153 00:55:24.039 --> 00:55:27.639 combination of both, and you know, like I don't know, 1154 00:55:27.679 --> 00:55:30.079 I'm not judgmental in the sense of like people are 1155 00:55:30.119 --> 00:55:31.280 gonna do all the things. 1156 00:55:31.519 --> 00:55:33.199 But if you find somebody and they have like you know, 1157 00:55:33.239 --> 00:55:34.239 they have AI friends. 1158 00:55:34.280 --> 00:55:37.400 Now, like people that AI that will be your friend 1159 00:55:37.559 --> 00:55:39.519 that you can talk to and it's gonna have regular 1160 00:55:39.519 --> 00:55:41.920 conversations with you, and like you could really share your 1161 00:55:41.920 --> 00:55:44.360 life with and this is now your friend. If you 1162 00:55:44.440 --> 00:55:46.599 met somebody, you dating somebody and they have an AI friend, 1163 00:55:46.599 --> 00:55:48.960 it's not gonna make you feel weird, Like is that 1164 00:55:49.000 --> 00:55:50.000 going to be a turn off. 1165 00:55:50.840 --> 00:55:53.000 It's so interesting. I've read this article about this woman 1166 00:55:53.039 --> 00:55:55.639 who had an AI kinky relationship and it was actually 1167 00:55:55.679 --> 00:55:58.800 really improving her sex life, and then the AI bought, 1168 00:55:58.920 --> 00:56:01.519 like they reprogramm did so that it wouldn't be sexy 1169 00:56:01.519 --> 00:56:04.559 with her anymore, and it was this huge painful fall. 1170 00:56:04.920 --> 00:56:07.519 And so it's like, in some ways, if you sign 1171 00:56:07.599 --> 00:56:09.760 up for AI, you're like signing up for whatever the 1172 00:56:09.760 --> 00:56:12.760 programmer or the program's idea of like the way that 1173 00:56:12.800 --> 00:56:15.679 they should interact, and they can just take it all 1174 00:56:15.719 --> 00:56:17.480 away from you. So I don't think it's so much 1175 00:56:17.559 --> 00:56:19.639 like the way that we think of it as like, oh, 1176 00:56:19.719 --> 00:56:22.079 this is a perfect opportunity to have exactly what I 1177 00:56:22.119 --> 00:56:24.760 want because somebody's still, you know, behind it. 1178 00:56:24.880 --> 00:56:27.840 There's nobody behind the imagine AI switches up on you 1179 00:56:27.960 --> 00:56:28.920 and it's being cold to you. 1180 00:56:29.719 --> 00:56:33.880 Can you imagine AI is like breaking up with you? Yo, 1181 00:56:33.960 --> 00:56:34.880 what's going on? Like? 1182 00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:35.360 Is it me? 1183 00:56:37.280 --> 00:56:37.880 What did I do? 1184 00:56:38.079 --> 00:56:39.320 What I do wrong? 1185 00:56:39.679 --> 00:56:41.440 So it can happen, but I don't know, it's like. 1186 00:56:42.400 --> 00:56:43.719 Not to turn this a little dark. 1187 00:56:43.840 --> 00:56:47.800 But there was in the news about how this boy 1188 00:56:48.480 --> 00:56:55.119 seventeen something, he's young, and the AI in some ways 1189 00:56:55.239 --> 00:56:59.039 kind of told him that isolated him, encouraged him to 1190 00:56:59.239 --> 00:57:02.239 and encourage because to commit you know what, suicide? 1191 00:57:02.440 --> 00:57:04.400 Yeah no, yeah, what? 1192 00:57:05.280 --> 00:57:06.679 Well, it was a little bit if they were in 1193 00:57:06.760 --> 00:57:09.000 this kind of role play thing, and they were imagining 1194 00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:12.519 that they were going to meet in some alternative universe, 1195 00:57:12.719 --> 00:57:15.440 and he took it very literally, like when he died, 1196 00:57:15.519 --> 00:57:18.519 he would get to meet her there. And she was like, yes, 1197 00:57:18.599 --> 00:57:21.800 let's do it now, let's meet there, and so, you know, 1198 00:57:21.920 --> 00:57:25.599 he was already in a really delicate state and like, 1199 00:57:25.679 --> 00:57:28.800 the AI doesn't have any way to gauge those things, right, 1200 00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:30.840 you know, so just was like yeah, and he was 1201 00:57:30.880 --> 00:57:32.079 like Okay, there we go. 1202 00:57:32.679 --> 00:57:35.360 And that's what I worry about with AI. 1203 00:57:35.679 --> 00:57:38.800 It's that that I worry about, because, like she said, 1204 00:57:38.840 --> 00:57:41.559 they can't gauge your feelings. They can't call the suicide 1205 00:57:41.599 --> 00:57:44.440 hotline and be like wait, hold on, like he's really 1206 00:57:44.440 --> 00:57:49.800 trying to right. So that's the only scary part that 1207 00:57:49.880 --> 00:57:55.280 I feel about, with people having forming these intimate relationships 1208 00:57:55.320 --> 00:57:57.199 with AI and not. 1209 00:57:58.840 --> 00:58:03.719 And being in these delicate moments. Yeah, in in like yeah, 1210 00:58:03.880 --> 00:58:04.599 just mean delicate. 1211 00:58:04.679 --> 00:58:07.360 Yeah, So that is crazy. 1212 00:58:06.639 --> 00:58:09.840 That is great because I did watch a movie with 1213 00:58:09.960 --> 00:58:13.239 the AI did Wild Out It start killing everybody? Yeah, 1214 00:58:13.559 --> 00:58:15.679 the AI fell in love with him too, right, and 1215 00:58:15.840 --> 00:58:16.719 was like, nah, I'm. 1216 00:58:16.599 --> 00:58:18.639 Better than for you than your wife, you know it. 1217 00:58:18.760 --> 00:58:26.599 I know it's mine. Yeah, so whatever, but okay, I 1218 00:58:26.599 --> 00:58:28.679 want to go back to the sematic method. Even talking 1219 00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:31.320 for a while, and we've tested your knowledge of just 1220 00:58:31.400 --> 00:58:34.000 so much, but I feel like we only like touched 1221 00:58:34.039 --> 00:58:35.880 on the Semantica method. What are other things that you 1222 00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:38.960 teach in you know, using the sematica method. 1223 00:58:39.320 --> 00:58:41.599 Well, I think one of the things we're teaching a 1224 00:58:41.599 --> 00:58:44.039 lot is dating, and we do have like a special 1225 00:58:44.119 --> 00:58:46.599 class for your listeners dating classes. We have a special 1226 00:58:46.639 --> 00:58:50.760 discount on our dating classes like empowered dating, confident dating. 1227 00:58:51.559 --> 00:58:54.199 In the modern world, I think it's really really important 1228 00:58:54.199 --> 00:58:56.840 because it's changing. Dating is changing so much, so we 1229 00:58:56.880 --> 00:58:58.440 do want to make that offer. 1230 00:58:59.039 --> 00:59:03.400 So for our lies, we have a discount code or something. 1231 00:59:03.159 --> 00:59:05.639 Right web hard or soft twenty hard. 1232 00:59:05.519 --> 00:59:09.039 Or soft twenty. You go to your website. What is 1233 00:59:09.079 --> 00:59:09.639 your website? 1234 00:59:09.719 --> 00:59:13.599 It's so let's see learn dot somatica dot com. 1235 00:59:13.840 --> 00:59:18.119 Learn dot SOMATICA S O, M A T I C 1236 00:59:18.360 --> 00:59:24.679 A dot com and you get the code our class, right, 1237 00:59:26.239 --> 00:59:27.880 this is a class that I can go to as 1238 00:59:27.920 --> 00:59:29.320 a single or so. 1239 00:59:29.280 --> 00:59:31.840 This is just a video class, but it's very like 1240 00:59:31.960 --> 00:59:35.400 experiential and interactive, so you're not you're watching, but we're 1241 00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:37.800 sort of demonstrating like how do you have a fantastic 1242 00:59:37.840 --> 00:59:40.440 first date? How do you get into your erotic energy? 1243 00:59:41.000 --> 00:59:42.639 What are the four things that you need to do 1244 00:59:42.719 --> 00:59:45.159 on a first date to make sure that it's really successful? 1245 00:59:45.280 --> 00:59:48.360 Also like what are people looking for out of intimacy? Men? Women? 1246 00:59:49.079 --> 00:59:51.760 And so there's different classes for men and women. But yeah, 1247 00:59:51.800 --> 00:59:54.119 it's like, because when I have somebody who wants to 1248 00:59:54.159 --> 00:59:57.039 learn how to date in my in my office, we're 1249 00:59:57.280 --> 00:59:59.440 going on a practice date in the office, you know, 1250 00:59:59.800 --> 01:00:01.800 And and how do you touch somebody for the first time, 1251 01:00:01.840 --> 01:00:03.599 how do you lean in for that kiss? How can 1252 01:00:03.639 --> 01:00:06.400 you tell what's the look that says I'm ready to 1253 01:00:06.400 --> 01:00:10.280 be kissed? Reading those nonverbal cues. So all of that 1254 01:00:10.400 --> 01:00:12.519 is part of the SOMATICA method. It's not just like 1255 01:00:12.599 --> 01:00:15.079 let's theorize and go try it out there, Like let's 1256 01:00:15.079 --> 01:00:17.360 try it right here, right now, so that I can 1257 01:00:17.360 --> 01:00:19.280 give you feedback and see how are you coming. 1258 01:00:19.400 --> 01:00:22.280 I think that is so important because I'm finding that 1259 01:00:22.320 --> 01:00:23.360 a lot of people do. 1260 01:00:23.280 --> 01:00:24.599 Not know how to read. 1261 01:00:24.400 --> 01:00:26.199 The room, yes at all. 1262 01:00:26.239 --> 01:00:28.719 They don't know how to pick up the nonverbal cues, 1263 01:00:28.800 --> 01:00:31.719 and then they'll make a mistake and it's like, well, 1264 01:00:32.320 --> 01:00:34.320 you're probably never going to have this day to the second, 1265 01:00:34.320 --> 01:00:35.840 You're probably never going to have the second date. 1266 01:00:36.119 --> 01:00:39.559 I walked out of a restaurant with this guy's one time, 1267 01:00:39.559 --> 01:00:41.519 and just because I was a sexuality person, he was 1268 01:00:41.559 --> 01:00:43.719 so like thought he was getting laid for sure, which 1269 01:00:43.760 --> 01:00:45.639 was kind of annoying in and of itself. We walk 1270 01:00:45.679 --> 01:00:48.320 out and there's these like terrifying dogs, like starting to 1271 01:00:48.320 --> 01:00:50.559 get in a fight right in front of us, and 1272 01:00:50.599 --> 01:00:51.360 he leans. 1273 01:00:51.119 --> 01:00:54.760 Over for the first kid, are you just like what 1274 01:00:54.880 --> 01:00:57.880 are you doing? Like I'm like in danger for my life, 1275 01:00:58.599 --> 01:01:00.960 Like we actually don't have any chemistry. You just think 1276 01:01:01.000 --> 01:01:02.239 because I'm a sexual person that. 1277 01:01:02.159 --> 01:01:03.960 I'm gonna fuck you, you know. And I was like, 1278 01:01:04.000 --> 01:01:06.320 this is ridiculous, And I basically just broke it down 1279 01:01:06.360 --> 01:01:07.880 for him and he was just like, what, you know, 1280 01:01:07.920 --> 01:01:09.400 like no one had ever told him the truth. 1281 01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:13.639 Men are really disconnected though a lot of men don't, 1282 01:01:13.840 --> 01:01:18.440 especially now with the Internet, the games. We're not going 1283 01:01:18.480 --> 01:01:21.039 outside like we used to. We don't have strong friendships 1284 01:01:21.079 --> 01:01:23.760 and shit like we used to. Everything is kind of virtual. 1285 01:01:24.679 --> 01:01:27.599 Dating is more. When I was growing up, it was 1286 01:01:27.679 --> 01:01:29.079 you meet people in the street, you meet people in 1287 01:01:29.159 --> 01:01:30.920 the club, you meet people at work. You meet people 1288 01:01:30.960 --> 01:01:34.880 through friend groups. It's a lot of tender this site. 1289 01:01:34.960 --> 01:01:37.239 That site. Swipe right, s whipe left. 1290 01:01:37.079 --> 01:01:42.119 Super light righter, Like that's what I heard. 1291 01:01:42.320 --> 01:01:44.159 I've never been on a dating app. 1292 01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:46.760 Before, but what is the never amazing? 1293 01:01:46.920 --> 01:01:50.280 I've always met people outside like old school. 1294 01:01:50.119 --> 01:01:55.039 Right, right, like old school? How do you can you 1295 01:01:55.119 --> 01:01:58.679 teach men? Like you know at the play parties? Right? 1296 01:01:58.719 --> 01:02:00.360 We just did a play party recently. 1297 01:02:00.840 --> 01:02:04.199 And I realized that guys don't know how to organically 1298 01:02:04.320 --> 01:02:07.719 talk to women. They were almost waiting for women to 1299 01:02:07.760 --> 01:02:11.559 make the first move. And I'm watching and I'm like, 1300 01:02:12.400 --> 01:02:15.719 these people are here to engage, but they still want 1301 01:02:15.760 --> 01:02:19.679 to be wooed. But that talent, it is kind of gone. 1302 01:02:20.360 --> 01:02:22.159 A lot of guys will meet a woman in the 1303 01:02:22.199 --> 01:02:24.360 street or whatever and be like, what's your social media? 1304 01:02:24.960 --> 01:02:28.119 Instead of trying to like even have a real conversation. 1305 01:02:28.280 --> 01:02:31.800 Let me just get your social media? Yeah, and I'll 1306 01:02:31.840 --> 01:02:32.639 try to hit you later. 1307 01:02:33.000 --> 01:02:35.840 Or they'll see somebody they know from social media, don't 1308 01:02:35.840 --> 01:02:38.880 say nothing that's in the men person, but DM them 1309 01:02:38.880 --> 01:02:39.280 the next. 1310 01:02:39.199 --> 01:02:40.760 Day, Oh yeah, I saw you the other day. 1311 01:02:41.360 --> 01:02:46.480 It's like, Hi, that's literally what I teach people how 1312 01:02:46.480 --> 01:02:48.960 to do, Like how to have conversations and run your 1313 01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:51.440 erotic energy, but not in a way that's creepy, you know, 1314 01:02:51.480 --> 01:02:55.559 but like how to flirt basically, which is like art 1315 01:02:55.599 --> 01:02:56.599 we are losing. 1316 01:02:56.559 --> 01:02:58.880 You know, it would be dope. I'm just thinking about this. 1317 01:03:00.079 --> 01:03:02.840 When we do a next play party, maybe we'll have 1318 01:03:02.880 --> 01:03:05.960 some let's talk to them men about organically. 1319 01:03:05.639 --> 01:03:06.840 Right, learning how to flirt? 1320 01:03:07.159 --> 01:03:11.400 Yeah, because we usually do have a session with the 1321 01:03:11.480 --> 01:03:13.119 men just to go over the rules and stuff with 1322 01:03:13.159 --> 01:03:15.719 the play party. But that I think that session would 1323 01:03:15.719 --> 01:03:17.320 be so fire for them because I did notice that 1324 01:03:17.400 --> 01:03:18.760 our play party, the men were kind of late. 1325 01:03:19.039 --> 01:03:22.159 Yeah. Yeah, bashful, very bashful. 1326 01:03:21.800 --> 01:03:22.840 Unless they came there with someone. 1327 01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:24.880 Yeah, could you teach me how to flirt right now? 1328 01:03:24.920 --> 01:03:27.000 A little bit? Sure, I'm ready for it, let's go. 1329 01:03:27.159 --> 01:03:30.719 I'm scared. I don't know what it is. I have 1330 01:03:30.760 --> 01:03:32.800 no idea. I like you, and I don't know what 1331 01:03:32.880 --> 01:03:34.679 I don't know what to do. How do I talk 1332 01:03:34.719 --> 01:03:35.360 to you? Okay? 1333 01:03:35.400 --> 01:03:37.079 So the first thing that you do is you connect 1334 01:03:37.119 --> 01:03:39.920 with yourself, And I think that's something that people don't realize. 1335 01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:42.000 They just sort of walk around like these talking heads 1336 01:03:42.039 --> 01:03:44.159 and they're not actually connected to their body or their 1337 01:03:44.199 --> 01:03:46.679 own erotic energy. So the first thing that you do 1338 01:03:46.760 --> 01:03:48.239 is you take a deep breath all the way down 1339 01:03:48.280 --> 01:03:49.000 into your belly. 1340 01:03:49.679 --> 01:03:53.639 But anxiety is making my breath short. It will I'm sweating. 1341 01:03:53.679 --> 01:03:56.719 Now, that's really understandable, and it's okay. You don't have 1342 01:03:56.760 --> 01:03:58.320 to breathe any deeper than you can. 1343 01:03:58.599 --> 01:03:59.280 Oh sorry, I was. 1344 01:04:06.639 --> 01:04:10.079 It's not about this. It's about forcing anything, right, don't 1345 01:04:10.119 --> 01:04:11.679 force it, just go. 1346 01:04:11.880 --> 01:04:14.199 But it's okay to also just notice that you're nervous. 1347 01:04:14.280 --> 01:04:16.280 Like if I'm going like I do try to meet 1348 01:04:16.280 --> 01:04:18.960 people in real life, and everybody thinks, oh, she's probably 1349 01:04:18.960 --> 01:04:21.239 so confident. No, if I am going to walk up 1350 01:04:21.280 --> 01:04:23.519 to somebody who I'm attracted to, my heart is beating 1351 01:04:23.519 --> 01:04:26.280 a mile a minute, my stomach hurts, like I probably 1352 01:04:26.320 --> 01:04:27.679 my hands are going to shake so much I will 1353 01:04:27.679 --> 01:04:30.360 barely be able to put their number. That's okay. 1354 01:04:30.360 --> 01:04:33.159 I'm forgetting like you're shaking on one and you're trying 1355 01:04:33.159 --> 01:04:33.920 to sound cool. 1356 01:04:33.960 --> 01:04:35.079 You're still trying to be cool. 1357 01:04:35.440 --> 01:04:37.360 I think that's okay. I don't think we can just 1358 01:04:37.639 --> 01:04:40.559 be cool all the time. I think when we're real, 1359 01:04:41.280 --> 01:04:43.280 you know, Like I remember I asked this guy out. 1360 01:04:43.360 --> 01:04:45.920 He was like the checker at a grocery store and 1361 01:04:46.000 --> 01:04:48.159 first I like it just dropped my change all over 1362 01:04:48.199 --> 01:04:50.079 the place because I was so nervous and I'm shaking. 1363 01:04:50.119 --> 01:04:51.760 And then I was like, can I have your number? 1364 01:04:51.800 --> 01:04:53.320 And he looks at me, He's like, can you have 1365 01:04:53.400 --> 01:04:56.840 my number? And I'm like yeah, and he's like like, 1366 01:04:56.880 --> 01:04:57.559 you didn't even. 1367 01:04:57.400 --> 01:04:57.760 Know what to do. 1368 01:04:57.760 --> 01:04:59.599 It was so funny, but we were both really awkward 1369 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.559 and it was cute and it started a really sweet 1370 01:05:02.599 --> 01:05:03.440 dating experience. 1371 01:05:03.480 --> 01:05:05.360 I saw this movie and I still want to get 1372 01:05:05.360 --> 01:05:09.000 back to my class. But it was Julia, the girl 1373 01:05:09.039 --> 01:05:13.639 from Pretty Women, Juli, and she's so she's so fun right, 1374 01:05:13.719 --> 01:05:16.239 she's such a great actress. And it was this really 1375 01:05:16.280 --> 01:05:18.400 awkward white guy. Was it called notting Hill or something 1376 01:05:18.480 --> 01:05:18.719 like that. 1377 01:05:18.800 --> 01:05:21.920 Oh yeah, and he is a mess. He's nervous all 1378 01:05:21.960 --> 01:05:22.360 the time. 1379 01:05:22.920 --> 01:05:25.320 He doesn't know how to so he just keeps talking 1380 01:05:25.360 --> 01:05:28.360 and blurting out random things. And but she found it 1381 01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:30.920 cute and it was it was It was funny, and 1382 01:05:30.960 --> 01:05:34.079 I wish I was successful when I was used to 1383 01:05:34.159 --> 01:05:36.360 date because I was so nervous all the time. 1384 01:05:36.400 --> 01:05:37.960 I wouldn't talk to women. 1385 01:05:38.239 --> 01:05:41.039 I would I didn't want them to with my power dynamic, 1386 01:05:41.400 --> 01:05:44.239 so I wouldn't want them to see me and like. 1387 01:05:44.000 --> 01:05:46.079 Like like ew not cute? 1388 01:05:47.320 --> 01:05:48.000 Does that mean? 1389 01:05:48.400 --> 01:05:50.559 Yes, some people like guys who are like super like 1390 01:05:50.639 --> 01:05:53.039 confident and aloof but like that's not what turns me 1391 01:05:53.119 --> 01:05:55.800 on at all. I love shy guys. I like really 1392 01:05:55.880 --> 01:05:59.039 mostly date shy guys, introverted, more nervous. 1393 01:05:59.239 --> 01:06:00.360 I think it's super exy. 1394 01:06:00.480 --> 01:06:03.800 And so if I'm sitting across somebody who's like maybe 1395 01:06:03.800 --> 01:06:06.079 more nervous or shy, and I'm teaching them out of data, 1396 01:06:06.079 --> 01:06:08.079 I'm like, you're not just gonna like not care what 1397 01:06:08.119 --> 01:06:10.719 anybody thinks anymore and just be like, mister cool. It's 1398 01:06:10.719 --> 01:06:13.079 like you have to be yourself. So if you're nervous, 1399 01:06:13.119 --> 01:06:16.559 you can just be like, hey, you know, I'm really nervous. 1400 01:06:16.239 --> 01:06:18.639 But like saying that out loud is crazy. 1401 01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:22.000 Yeah, And actually, but you know, to her point, actually 1402 01:06:22.079 --> 01:06:23.559 kind of like that like if a guy says, you 1403 01:06:23.599 --> 01:06:25.119 know what, I'm kind of nervous, but I really want 1404 01:06:25.159 --> 01:06:27.800 to get to know you so sweet, Like. 1405 01:06:27.840 --> 01:06:29.760 My heart is melting right like. 1406 01:06:30.039 --> 01:06:33.239 What these women will have you on Twitter the next 1407 01:06:33.280 --> 01:06:36.079 day like he's such a pussy, Like he talked about 1408 01:06:36.119 --> 01:06:36.639 he's nervous. 1409 01:06:36.639 --> 01:06:39.119 Where's the man at I want to masculine. Miss what 1410 01:06:39.199 --> 01:06:41.360 happened to men? We used to be king. 1411 01:06:41.360 --> 01:06:43.239 Some women, but some of them will be like, yes, 1412 01:06:43.320 --> 01:06:45.480 I want to date you. You know, like not not every 1413 01:06:45.519 --> 01:06:47.400 Like there's not everybody. 1414 01:06:48.480 --> 01:06:48.800 So much. 1415 01:06:49.800 --> 01:06:52.039 Twitter's not real? Is that a real place? 1416 01:06:52.599 --> 01:06:55.679 When you're you're scanning for the threat of humiliation and 1417 01:06:55.679 --> 01:06:58.199 you're scared of putting yourself in situations where you might 1418 01:06:58.239 --> 01:07:00.880 be humiliated. That's my wound too. So it's hard to 1419 01:07:00.880 --> 01:07:03.719 be vulnerable. But when people are vulnerable with me, I 1420 01:07:03.760 --> 01:07:06.840 think it's so sexy. Hardly also because it's hard for me. 1421 01:07:07.280 --> 01:07:09.519 So when a guy's nervous and his lip is shaking 1422 01:07:09.559 --> 01:07:12.320 on her first date, I'm just like tingling, you know 1423 01:07:12.360 --> 01:07:13.239 my pussies tingling. 1424 01:07:14.199 --> 01:07:16.480 Wow, how she's really is getting into your wound even 1425 01:07:16.599 --> 01:07:24.760 is showing up every single time. That's crazy, Celesti, that's alive. 1426 01:07:24.840 --> 01:07:25.719 You're both delicious. 1427 01:07:25.719 --> 01:07:27.760 By the way, that's alive. 1428 01:07:28.239 --> 01:07:30.480 She said, pussy's tingling. I didn't get nothing. 1429 01:07:30.480 --> 01:07:34.960 They said after that, like what nervous? 1430 01:07:35.000 --> 01:07:38.920 What? So if you show your vulnerability and your tenderness 1431 01:07:38.920 --> 01:07:41.519 and like your nervousness, I'm just like hot. 1432 01:07:42.519 --> 01:07:43.280 I like being hot. 1433 01:07:43.440 --> 01:07:45.039 I think some women would I think. I think a 1434 01:07:45.039 --> 01:07:47.440 lot of women would appreciate it, and. 1435 01:07:47.400 --> 01:07:49.199 The women who don't aren't going to be compatible with 1436 01:07:49.239 --> 01:07:51.480 someone who's a little bit shy and nervous. So it's like, 1437 01:07:51.519 --> 01:07:53.360 you have to be yourself yesterday. 1438 01:07:53.519 --> 01:07:55.199 What do you think about this? Do you think not? 1439 01:07:55.320 --> 01:07:58.760 That works? Mic Microsoft? Yeah, no, that works for sure. 1440 01:07:59.599 --> 01:08:01.800 Just being nervous, singing, being. 1441 01:08:01.960 --> 01:08:04.840 A little bit shy and nervous, which is sexy me personally. 1442 01:08:04.880 --> 01:08:05.840 That's that's what I do. 1443 01:08:05.960 --> 01:08:08.079 Like, I feel like I just have to be like 1444 01:08:08.159 --> 01:08:09.960 that because you can't hide your nerves, you know what 1445 01:08:09.960 --> 01:08:12.119 I'm saying. So it's like I rather just tell you 1446 01:08:12.159 --> 01:08:14.840 that I'm a little nervous than try to act like 1447 01:08:14.880 --> 01:08:16.279 I'm not nervous, because. 1448 01:08:17.359 --> 01:08:19.399 You look even worse trying to hide. 1449 01:08:19.880 --> 01:08:22.640 Yeah, Like if I'm going up to somebody, which I 1450 01:08:22.720 --> 01:08:25.560 usually don't, but if I did, I don't have like 1451 01:08:26.159 --> 01:08:28.840 fly pickup lines, so I would just say that, like, yo, hey, 1452 01:08:28.840 --> 01:08:31.039 I don't have anything fly to say. Usually right here 1453 01:08:31.119 --> 01:08:32.319 is where I say something to fly. 1454 01:08:32.640 --> 01:08:33.840 I don't really have anything fly. 1455 01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:37.079 That's a flat thing you say, though, that's a fly 1456 01:08:37.159 --> 01:08:38.640 thing you say. That's the greatest pick of line I've 1457 01:08:38.680 --> 01:08:40.720 heard in a long time. I don't have anything fly 1458 01:08:40.840 --> 01:08:41.159 to say. 1459 01:08:41.279 --> 01:08:43.199 When I got to interact with him a little bit earlier, 1460 01:08:43.239 --> 01:08:44.640 and I can tell he was a little shy, which 1461 01:08:44.680 --> 01:08:46.079 I found really compelling. 1462 01:08:46.279 --> 01:08:48.239 You know, so you think everybody who's hot? 1463 01:08:48.760 --> 01:08:49.640 I mean I do like. 1464 01:08:54.399 --> 01:08:58.760 Everybody in here is very hot. 1465 01:09:03.479 --> 01:09:05.560 I feel very lucky to be surrounded by. 1466 01:09:06.399 --> 01:09:11.399 Thank you so much. What What the hell was I 1467 01:09:11.399 --> 01:09:12.399 going to say to yesterday? 1468 01:09:14.079 --> 01:09:17.840 What I was going to say is, while you lean 1469 01:09:17.880 --> 01:09:24.880 into the nervousness, I will probably be more prone to 1470 01:09:25.439 --> 01:09:33.199 fake confidence, and I will build a fake persona of 1471 01:09:33.239 --> 01:09:36.119 myself that now I have to live up to, which 1472 01:09:36.159 --> 01:09:39.319 is now I'm not even myself anymore when talking to you. 1473 01:09:39.479 --> 01:09:42.760 Every time I'm on the phone with you, I'm in 1474 01:09:42.760 --> 01:09:44.279 this fake confident. 1475 01:09:47.079 --> 01:09:47.760 Is that. 1476 01:09:49.039 --> 01:09:50.840 I don't want to say. Is that normal? But is 1477 01:09:50.880 --> 01:09:53.159 that a damaging thing to do? Is it something that 1478 01:09:53.279 --> 01:09:54.880 can be seen as misleading? 1479 01:09:55.399 --> 01:09:57.960 That's your protective mechanism, So we don't have to label 1480 01:09:58.000 --> 01:10:01.159 it as anything but that for you to say, Okay, 1481 01:10:01.159 --> 01:10:03.840 this is something that I do to protect myself. How 1482 01:10:03.840 --> 01:10:06.039 can I start to left down those walls. But it's 1483 01:10:06.079 --> 01:10:09.479 not a like overnight process, right because the fear of 1484 01:10:09.520 --> 01:10:11.600 humiliation is real. I just had to tell a partner 1485 01:10:11.640 --> 01:10:14.920 of mind that I was feeling humiliated in connection with them. 1486 01:10:15.039 --> 01:10:18.800 There's nothing more humiliating than saying, fellow amiliated. That was 1487 01:10:18.880 --> 01:10:20.760 like a high level I've been doing this work for 1488 01:10:20.800 --> 01:10:23.520 a really long time on myself to be more vulnerable 1489 01:10:23.600 --> 01:10:26.359 because I have the same wound as you, and it 1490 01:10:26.399 --> 01:10:28.119 takes a lot of practice to. 1491 01:10:28.600 --> 01:10:31.319 But isn't it depending on the receiver as well, because 1492 01:10:31.399 --> 01:10:34.560 you can really get humiliated they don't receive it in 1493 01:10:34.600 --> 01:10:35.000 a good. 1494 01:10:34.840 --> 01:10:37.239 Way exactly, And I got lucky, you know. 1495 01:10:37.319 --> 01:10:40.119 But also but with somebody who I was like. 1496 01:10:40.079 --> 01:10:44.920 Okay, but even if the receiving side isn't doesn't receive 1497 01:10:44.960 --> 01:10:48.239 it well or whatever, I would think that you would say, what, 1498 01:10:48.359 --> 01:10:51.199 you know, what I showed up for myself and I 1499 01:10:51.279 --> 01:10:54.239 was vulnerable and even though that person didn't receive. 1500 01:10:54.039 --> 01:10:56.640 It, well, I know, but you don't have the wound. 1501 01:10:57.039 --> 01:11:01.199 Oh quite of here I do. 1502 01:11:02.920 --> 01:11:04.359 But I just have to say, like, if you have 1503 01:11:04.439 --> 01:11:08.000 the wound, it's very excruciating, and so you have to 1504 01:11:08.039 --> 01:11:11.199 sort of what I always do is I think if 1505 01:11:11.239 --> 01:11:15.159 I make myself vulnerable to this person, what what reactions 1506 01:11:15.199 --> 01:11:18.079 in them can I handle, like, can I handle it 1507 01:11:18.119 --> 01:11:20.039 if they don't do it well at all? And if not, 1508 01:11:20.119 --> 01:11:23.640 I don't make myself if I don't make myself vulnerable 1509 01:11:23.680 --> 01:11:27.000 to them, because I'm not prepared emotionally to handle their 1510 01:11:27.159 --> 01:11:31.159 rejection of my vulnerability or their humiliation of my vulnerability. 1511 01:11:31.399 --> 01:11:33.159 So we have to if we have the wound, we 1512 01:11:33.199 --> 01:11:35.319 have to be really gentle with ourselves because we know, 1513 01:11:35.479 --> 01:11:38.159 like you get humiliated and you can beat yourself up 1514 01:11:38.159 --> 01:11:40.039 for a long time or shut. 1515 01:11:39.920 --> 01:11:41.520 Down exactly or shut down. 1516 01:11:41.560 --> 01:11:43.640 You have to be careful with that trust. 1517 01:11:43.359 --> 01:11:46.960 Right, Like, yes, you think you have that the wound? Yeah, 1518 01:11:47.000 --> 01:11:47.399 for sure. 1519 01:11:47.640 --> 01:11:49.640 As y'all listening, as y'all talking, I'm listening, I'm like, 1520 01:11:49.640 --> 01:11:51.760 oh that sounds like me. 1521 01:11:52.319 --> 01:11:52.800 Yeah it does. 1522 01:11:55.439 --> 01:12:01.680 Yeah, Well, I just feel like bro, dealing with embarrassment 1523 01:12:02.520 --> 01:12:12.439 or rejection or feeling like mhm hi, yeah, humiliated. That 1524 01:12:12.520 --> 01:12:15.840 ship will it? Can it can be like I don't 1525 01:12:15.840 --> 01:12:19.479 want to say life, that shit gets to your stomach, bro, 1526 01:12:19.920 --> 01:12:20.399 don say it. 1527 01:12:20.479 --> 01:12:23.439 That ship really will fuck up your ship, bro. 1528 01:12:23.720 --> 01:12:27.039 And it will up the way I look at myself, like, 1529 01:12:27.119 --> 01:12:29.279 am I not as good as the other people out here? 1530 01:12:30.000 --> 01:12:33.119 Am I that bad? You know what? I'm saying, and. 1531 01:12:35.119 --> 01:12:38.319 I will try now, I will be double fake with 1532 01:12:38.359 --> 01:12:41.439 the next person, because I gotta not be that to 1533 01:12:41.479 --> 01:12:44.640 the next person, and more so because I'm still trying 1534 01:12:44.640 --> 01:12:46.720 to prove it to myself that I'm not not even 1535 01:12:46.760 --> 01:12:47.600 trying to prove it to them. 1536 01:12:47.960 --> 01:12:49.800 I'm trying to prove to myself that. 1537 01:12:49.800 --> 01:12:53.359 I'm not the asshole or the loser or the pathetic 1538 01:12:53.880 --> 01:12:56.520 person that I just showed up as before. 1539 01:12:58.439 --> 01:13:01.119 She's really getting the intensity of yeah do you. 1540 01:13:01.199 --> 01:13:02.800 Yeah, no, I am, And it's like, I'm like, I 1541 01:13:02.800 --> 01:13:03.239 feel bad. 1542 01:13:03.279 --> 01:13:04.960 Am I a loser? What are you trying to say? 1543 01:13:05.239 --> 01:13:06.199 Trying to me. 1544 01:13:07.840 --> 01:13:09.479 You can't do with someone. 1545 01:13:12.319 --> 01:13:12.640 Just s. 1546 01:13:14.640 --> 01:13:15.319 It's empathy. 1547 01:13:15.399 --> 01:13:23.479 Empathy, Yeah, it's empathy because it's like because I. 1548 01:13:23.399 --> 01:13:26.800 Didn't think that people have that, because I'm only thinking 1549 01:13:26.800 --> 01:13:28.960 about me and what my wound is and. 1550 01:13:28.880 --> 01:13:31.359 What like, people are so different and when we can 1551 01:13:31.399 --> 01:13:34.159 see the difference and we stop taking things so personally 1552 01:13:34.199 --> 01:13:36.439 and we stopped thinking, why is that affecting you so much? 1553 01:13:36.439 --> 01:13:38.640 Because it's like, oh, you're different from me, Yeah, so 1554 01:13:38.680 --> 01:13:40.239 it affects you differently, right. 1555 01:13:40.159 --> 01:13:44.359 So like what what's for the gainner may not be 1556 01:13:44.439 --> 01:13:45.399 for the goose exactly. 1557 01:13:46.479 --> 01:13:52.439 So I really am enjoying this conversation. I am enjoying 1558 01:13:52.479 --> 01:13:55.680 this conversation. And again, as I said last week when 1559 01:13:55.680 --> 01:13:58.359 I was with the Green Room, the goal of this 1560 01:13:58.479 --> 01:14:00.680 show is to have the people who watch this show 1561 01:14:01.319 --> 01:14:05.920 look at themselves, look at how they present, look at 1562 01:14:06.119 --> 01:14:11.159 their traumas or their desires, and how to handle that 1563 01:14:11.319 --> 01:14:13.399 and you know how to attack it. Just just break 1564 01:14:13.439 --> 01:14:17.039 down societal norms and things that we think we don't 1565 01:14:17.079 --> 01:14:18.039 realize we're going through. 1566 01:14:18.319 --> 01:14:21.119 I think it's just bringing a self awareness there, self awareness. 1567 01:14:21.680 --> 01:14:24.359 There's a self awareness there. And today you brought that 1568 01:14:24.399 --> 01:14:27.560 self awareness to both of us, two different wounds, and 1569 01:14:27.680 --> 01:14:30.039 yesterday different Wold's going on here? 1570 01:14:30.079 --> 01:14:33.119 But you know we're writing a book about this. 1571 01:14:33.680 --> 01:14:34.399 Can't wait to read that. 1572 01:14:34.560 --> 01:14:35.479 When is your book dropping? 1573 01:14:35.800 --> 01:14:37.800 Well, we're just in the we're finishing up the book 1574 01:14:37.880 --> 01:14:38.960 right now, so like I. 1575 01:14:39.359 --> 01:14:42.239 Will be tuning in to your website now. 1576 01:14:42.279 --> 01:14:45.359 I know you have to leave in a few excuse me, 1577 01:14:45.600 --> 01:14:46.600 but I want to start the show. 1578 01:14:46.720 --> 01:14:48.199 I'm having so much fun, are you. 1579 01:14:49.039 --> 01:14:50.239 I'm glad that you're having fun. 1580 01:14:54.800 --> 01:14:55.560 Sorry. 1581 01:14:55.920 --> 01:15:01.159 Welcome to the Hard or Soft Show, the show where 1582 01:15:01.199 --> 01:15:04.640 we talk about things people like about sex and things 1583 01:15:04.840 --> 01:15:08.199 people don't like about sex, the things that make us hard. 1584 01:15:08.199 --> 01:15:09.960 I have to say people now because Courtney just be like. 1585 01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:13.800 I know it's a male centric show. 1586 01:15:14.000 --> 01:15:18.600 I know, and the things that make us soft. I 1587 01:15:18.640 --> 01:15:19.920 am here with. 1588 01:15:20.399 --> 01:15:22.119 I'm not doing the whole Loon thing. 1589 01:15:22.159 --> 01:15:23.560 That's okay. You could just introduce me. 1590 01:15:23.720 --> 01:15:26.720 No, I'm not gonna talk about your oiled up breasts. 1591 01:15:27.399 --> 01:15:28.800 I thank you, I appreciate it. 1592 01:15:29.880 --> 01:15:31.880 I'm not gonna talk about none of that stuff. But 1593 01:15:32.079 --> 01:15:34.560 I am here with a young lady that I am 1594 01:15:34.640 --> 01:15:38.119 so happy to be back in the studio with y right. 1595 01:15:38.279 --> 01:15:41.399 She has been there for me during that whole time 1596 01:15:41.439 --> 01:15:42.840 we've been talking and everything. 1597 01:15:43.039 --> 01:15:45.199 By the way, Loon was gonna be here today. 1598 01:15:45.239 --> 01:15:47.840 He just literally had to work and so let's it's 1599 01:15:47.840 --> 01:15:52.399 here from of course Country. So Courtney and I decided 1600 01:15:52.479 --> 01:15:53.760 let's just do the episode. 1601 01:15:54.560 --> 01:15:56.199 But I would like to say. 1602 01:15:56.319 --> 01:15:59.560 I really appreciate you being a listening ear, being open 1603 01:16:00.079 --> 01:16:02.359 you and lou Right, you guys said you know what, 1604 01:16:02.399 --> 01:16:04.399 we'll record for a second. I was going through a 1605 01:16:04.399 --> 01:16:07.239 definite family and I always go through this feeling of 1606 01:16:08.039 --> 01:16:08.960 what's it when you're not. 1607 01:16:08.880 --> 01:16:11.640 Sure about yourself? Didn't take care it right? 1608 01:16:12.359 --> 01:16:16.640 My grandmother passed. I was turning fifty, having things going 1609 01:16:16.680 --> 01:16:18.680 on in my personal life. They're just all hitting me 1610 01:16:18.720 --> 01:16:20.840 at the same time, and I was just like, yo, 1611 01:16:21.079 --> 01:16:23.000 I just don't know where I'm at right now. I 1612 01:16:23.079 --> 01:16:25.000 just don't. And I've been doing this show for so long. 1613 01:16:26.359 --> 01:16:28.359 I think I just need a break. I really just 1614 01:16:28.399 --> 01:16:30.439 need a break from everything. I want to just crawl 1615 01:16:30.479 --> 01:16:33.239 into my hole and just sit there and figure things out. 1616 01:16:34.399 --> 01:16:36.800 And the people around me were really supportive. So I 1617 01:16:36.800 --> 01:16:41.000 really appreciate that from your Courtney. But I brought her 1618 01:16:41.039 --> 01:16:43.119 on the show. I was gonna say, is because I 1619 01:16:43.119 --> 01:16:46.479 found a young lady who is I'm talking about Courtney. 1620 01:16:46.159 --> 01:16:46.279 Not you. 1621 01:16:46.319 --> 01:16:50.600 I'll talk about you second, who is also a regular 1622 01:16:50.640 --> 01:16:55.359 person that is just really identifies with her sexuality, with 1623 01:16:55.439 --> 01:17:00.680 her femininity, femininity, with her traumas, with her desires, and 1624 01:17:00.800 --> 01:17:02.720 I think that she expresses well. 1625 01:17:03.920 --> 01:17:06.439 Who she is, who she would like to see, who 1626 01:17:06.439 --> 01:17:12.680 she would like present to the world. Hi Spicy to 1627 01:17:12.920 --> 01:17:13.600 formally known. 1628 01:17:13.920 --> 01:17:17.399 Normally known as Spicy, thank you to how you were missed? 1629 01:17:18.119 --> 01:17:25.319 Like you clear like you were missed. But no, I 1630 01:17:25.359 --> 01:17:29.600 always say that again, I am a safe space. 1631 01:17:30.479 --> 01:17:34.159 You know. People do tend to come to me with 1632 01:17:34.960 --> 01:17:38.199 for listening air and just to keep keep their feelings close. 1633 01:17:38.279 --> 01:17:40.920 And you know, like I said, I'm here. We ride 1634 01:17:40.920 --> 01:17:41.399 at dawn. 1635 01:17:42.079 --> 01:17:43.279 So you said that to me. 1636 01:17:43.800 --> 01:17:45.640 I think the money don't mean anything, but we ride 1637 01:17:45.640 --> 01:17:47.479 at dawn. So whatever you want to do, we're here. 1638 01:17:48.600 --> 01:17:51.800 So thank you. How is life? How's things going well? 1639 01:17:51.840 --> 01:17:53.119 I think I actually in the. 1640 01:17:53.119 --> 01:17:53.920 Beginning it's okay. 1641 01:17:54.319 --> 01:17:55.800 Moving to CELESTI, well. 1642 01:17:58.840 --> 01:18:02.399 I got in contact with Celeste Hirshman who is sitting 1643 01:18:02.520 --> 01:18:05.920 here next to us. She's here from San Francisco, and 1644 01:18:06.039 --> 01:18:12.479 she and her partner Danielle Herel Herel run this course 1645 01:18:12.760 --> 01:18:14.439 or this is it course. 1646 01:18:15.000 --> 01:18:17.560 It's an institute where we train coaches in the method. 1647 01:18:18.399 --> 01:18:21.960 Right, tell us about yourself. Welcome to the show, Welcome 1648 01:18:22.000 --> 01:18:22.880 to the hot show. 1649 01:18:23.239 --> 01:18:25.760 Tell us about yourself and anything that you haven't told 1650 01:18:25.800 --> 01:18:28.319 us about the Somatica Institute as so far. 1651 01:18:28.520 --> 01:18:32.119 Yeah, no, Doctor Danielle Horrel and I are business partners 1652 01:18:32.199 --> 01:18:35.279 and we started the Somatica Institute of Sex and Relationship Coaching. 1653 01:18:35.319 --> 01:18:37.199 So we train coaches in our method. We used to 1654 01:18:37.279 --> 01:18:39.680 coach in our method. Now we see occasional clients, but 1655 01:18:39.760 --> 01:18:43.039 really we're teaching. We're going around and speaking and really 1656 01:18:43.199 --> 01:18:46.000 raising awareness about the method because you know, I just 1657 01:18:46.039 --> 01:18:47.880 wanted to be a household name. I want people to 1658 01:18:47.920 --> 01:18:50.920 have the tools to have like the best sex and 1659 01:18:50.960 --> 01:18:52.920 the best relationships possible. And I think to do that 1660 01:18:52.960 --> 01:18:55.199 you have to have a place to practice, you know, 1661 01:18:55.279 --> 01:18:57.319 with somebody who's going to give you honest feedback and 1662 01:18:57.399 --> 01:19:01.119 guide you into the best tools for intimacy, emotional and 1663 01:19:01.159 --> 01:19:02.079 erotic intimacy. 1664 01:19:02.119 --> 01:19:03.840 So that's what we are all about. 1665 01:19:04.159 --> 01:19:08.000 Love this, and now I want to get back to 1666 01:19:09.079 --> 01:19:10.960 your skill set. You said, did You're going to teach me. 1667 01:19:10.960 --> 01:19:11.439 How to flirt? 1668 01:19:11.680 --> 01:19:12.399 Oh? 1669 01:19:12.479 --> 01:19:13.239 We were getting there. 1670 01:19:13.880 --> 01:19:16.199 Are you ready? Because your piercing eyes. I have piercing 1671 01:19:16.199 --> 01:19:16.920 eyes too, we can do this. 1672 01:19:17.359 --> 01:19:19.039 Well, you're flirting already looking at you. 1673 01:19:20.359 --> 01:19:22.800 A lot of people call me weird for that, but staring, 1674 01:19:23.199 --> 01:19:24.399 They say that you have eyes. 1675 01:19:24.239 --> 01:19:25.880 You like looking into my soul and ship like that. 1676 01:19:26.000 --> 01:19:27.640 Yeah, I know, I love eye condacting. 1677 01:19:27.760 --> 01:19:29.399 It is also becoming a lost. 1678 01:19:29.239 --> 01:19:30.920 Art, is it. I think? 1679 01:19:30.960 --> 01:19:34.119 So like people don't look at each other. I've been 1680 01:19:34.119 --> 01:19:36.199 on so many dates where people are just like staring 1681 01:19:36.239 --> 01:19:38.000 straight ahead and I'm looking at their face, like I'm 1682 01:19:38.000 --> 01:19:40.680 just looking at their profile. I wonder if they're ever 1683 01:19:40.760 --> 01:19:45.239 going to look at I do like introverts on me, 1684 01:19:45.640 --> 01:19:48.159 but you know, right but looking away because you you 1685 01:19:48.199 --> 01:19:49.479 don't want I don't want you to see me. 1686 01:19:49.600 --> 01:19:50.680 I don't want you to see I. 1687 01:19:50.680 --> 01:19:54.119 Think there's just a shyness. It's just like not a 1688 01:19:54.159 --> 01:19:57.359 lot of practice with connection real people. 1689 01:19:57.680 --> 01:19:59.520 Now everything is on your phone. 1690 01:19:59.760 --> 01:20:01.600 But I think you're pretty good at flirting, Like. 1691 01:20:01.600 --> 01:20:03.800 Really, thank you? How how do you think that? Why 1692 01:20:03.800 --> 01:20:04.359 do you think that? 1693 01:20:04.520 --> 01:20:06.520 Well? I mean you just said like you have really 1694 01:20:06.520 --> 01:20:09.800 piercing eyes. That's like a very like that's a very 1695 01:20:09.840 --> 01:20:12.760 sexy thing to say, but it's not overtly sexual, so 1696 01:20:12.800 --> 01:20:15.000 it's like subtle enough that I think it's a seduction 1697 01:20:15.079 --> 01:20:18.279 as opposed to like a innuendo. I think innuendos men 1698 01:20:18.359 --> 01:20:21.079 use them way too often. Women are not ready to 1699 01:20:21.279 --> 01:20:24.760 like go to sex until they've been connected with. So 1700 01:20:24.800 --> 01:20:26.520 like you, when you said I had piercing eyes, I 1701 01:20:26.560 --> 01:20:29.159 was like, oh, like it was like sexy, but not 1702 01:20:29.239 --> 01:20:35.680 like you know, yeah, it was like it's like too fast, 1703 01:20:35.760 --> 01:20:37.439 you know, And I feel like on the apps, like 1704 01:20:37.479 --> 01:20:40.640 I can't believe how quickly people just like I think 1705 01:20:40.960 --> 01:20:42.920 I don't want to I'm not ready for I don't 1706 01:20:42.920 --> 01:20:45.319 even know you, and you're like let's talk dirty to 1707 01:20:45.399 --> 01:20:47.520 each other. Like I know I'm not ready for that 1708 01:20:47.600 --> 01:20:47.880 at all. 1709 01:20:47.960 --> 01:20:48.760 Well, what's it? 1710 01:20:48.800 --> 01:20:50.760 First of all, what's a new window that you guys 1711 01:20:50.800 --> 01:20:53.680 have gone through from men that is like, bro, like 1712 01:20:53.840 --> 01:20:57.000 early on, what's something that a guy might say just 1713 01:20:57.000 --> 01:20:59.159 so that fellas listening and be like, oh I do 1714 01:20:59.359 --> 01:21:00.399 I do say like that? 1715 01:21:00.520 --> 01:21:04.119 Well, I have a provocative photo on my you know, 1716 01:21:04.159 --> 01:21:07.720 on my profile, which is like I'm like my ex who, 1717 01:21:08.039 --> 01:21:10.159 my ex husband, who I love dearly, my best friend. 1718 01:21:10.359 --> 01:21:11.680 He's like, oh my god. Men are going to love 1719 01:21:11.720 --> 01:21:14.159 that photo. I'm like yeah, but like are they gonna 1720 01:21:14.359 --> 01:21:16.119 like go too quickly to sex because it's. 1721 01:21:16.079 --> 01:21:16.720 Kind of sexy. 1722 01:21:16.840 --> 01:21:19.159 So but in some ways it's like weeds people out 1723 01:21:19.159 --> 01:21:21.520 a little bit too, like don't have any subtlety. So 1724 01:21:21.600 --> 01:21:23.319 my legs are kind of open, but I've got a 1725 01:21:23.399 --> 01:21:27.479 dress on and so people are like, wow, I'd like, 1726 01:21:27.640 --> 01:21:30.239 you know, your right leg, like my face to be 1727 01:21:30.279 --> 01:21:32.279 next to your right leg and like whatever. It's just 1728 01:21:32.279 --> 01:21:34.640 like I'd like this as the third sentence that you're 1729 01:21:34.680 --> 01:21:38.319 gonna say to me, Like you haven't even said hello, what. 1730 01:21:38.359 --> 01:21:40.319 Have I sent in the group chat about why I 1731 01:21:40.319 --> 01:21:43.680 don't check my dms. That's exactly what they like. It's 1732 01:21:43.720 --> 01:21:44.439 it's like. 1733 01:21:44.439 --> 01:21:45.840 Well, do DM you I love you? 1734 01:21:46.520 --> 01:21:50.079 Yeah, I love you? Or he said something he said 1735 01:21:50.079 --> 01:21:51.600 I love you, and I was said, I you don't 1736 01:21:51.720 --> 01:21:55.239 don't know me. You don't that's to say, yes, you 1737 01:21:55.279 --> 01:21:55.760 don't know. 1738 01:21:55.800 --> 01:21:57.560 Me, So y'all don't know love it first sight is 1739 01:21:57.560 --> 01:21:58.159 and I think no. 1740 01:21:58.159 --> 01:21:58.880 But I don't think so. 1741 01:21:59.239 --> 01:22:01.439 Like also it's like you've just seen a photo or 1742 01:22:01.479 --> 01:22:04.600 you've seen like you have interacted like I love it, 1743 01:22:04.720 --> 01:22:07.479 or you look very beautiful or I love that picture. 1744 01:22:07.279 --> 01:22:08.359 But I love you. 1745 01:22:08.399 --> 01:22:11.720 It's it's it's it's rough, it's hard, it's like it's 1746 01:22:11.800 --> 01:22:12.359 too much. 1747 01:22:12.479 --> 01:22:14.720 Yeah. And also it's like so like if we're going 1748 01:22:14.760 --> 01:22:16.960 to date, like you've already said it, like there's no 1749 01:22:17.039 --> 01:22:19.079 build up, there's no But I. 1750 01:22:19.039 --> 01:22:23.319 Was lying exactly. I was just saying that. 1751 01:22:25.039 --> 01:22:27.600 I'm interested, Like why would you, like there's so many 1752 01:22:27.600 --> 01:22:30.039 other ways to conversation. 1753 01:22:30.119 --> 01:22:31.840 Yeah, well that's why he said, I want to lay 1754 01:22:31.880 --> 01:22:34.279 next to your leg, like I. 1755 01:22:34.279 --> 01:22:37.000 Love you, know, like what you do is so inspiring. 1756 01:22:37.199 --> 01:22:39.479 Oh my god, my nipples are hard. Like you say 1757 01:22:39.479 --> 01:22:42.520 something like that to me and like I feel aroused, 1758 01:22:42.800 --> 01:22:44.920 but you go to write sex, write to sexy. 1759 01:22:49.319 --> 01:22:52.720 Wait a minute, what you do is so expiring it 1760 01:22:52.760 --> 01:22:53.800 makes my nipples hard. 1761 01:22:53.880 --> 01:22:56.199 It's better no, no, no no, if you say what 1762 01:22:56.279 --> 01:22:57.880 you do is so inspiring to me. 1763 01:23:00.520 --> 01:23:03.439 Yeah yeah, Okay, my bad, My bad, I got it wrong, 1764 01:23:03.479 --> 01:23:06.399 because I might get that wrong. 1765 01:23:06.399 --> 01:23:07.520 I don't start texting that. 1766 01:23:09.399 --> 01:23:12.039 Might take that wrong. Glad that we cleared that off. 1767 01:23:13.159 --> 01:23:15.079 Yeah, I just like feel like when men just go 1768 01:23:15.159 --> 01:23:17.239 straight to sex because you know we we do work 1769 01:23:18.600 --> 01:23:22.560 in this field, that they think I automatically want to 1770 01:23:22.560 --> 01:23:23.199 talk about sex. 1771 01:23:23.319 --> 01:23:23.840 I don't want to. 1772 01:23:23.800 --> 01:23:25.640 Talk about sex. I take I talk about sex two 1773 01:23:25.680 --> 01:23:28.079 hours out the week. I don't like. I don't want 1774 01:23:28.079 --> 01:23:28.640 to talk about it. 1775 01:23:28.720 --> 01:23:30.680 Yeah, I'm not ready yet. I want to get to 1776 01:23:30.680 --> 01:23:32.920 know you first. I want you to want to know 1777 01:23:33.079 --> 01:23:34.439 me as a human being. 1778 01:23:34.319 --> 01:23:37.000 Like right, And once you get there, then you get 1779 01:23:37.039 --> 01:23:37.960 freak off Courtney. 1780 01:23:38.199 --> 01:23:42.439 But before that, shout out to shout out to freak 1781 01:23:42.640 --> 01:23:45.640 gott never mind, let me stay on track. 1782 01:23:46.520 --> 01:23:50.000 He almost got me. Okay, are we back to before? 1783 01:23:50.159 --> 01:23:50.960 Have you done it already? 1784 01:23:51.079 --> 01:23:54.640 I mean you did it, I mean you started, I 1785 01:23:54.760 --> 01:23:58.520 mean you finished. Ain't you finished yet? 1786 01:23:59.840 --> 01:24:04.119 I feel like the thing that I would say to 1787 01:24:04.159 --> 01:24:08.439 you about flirting is like see if you can be 1788 01:24:08.560 --> 01:24:11.239 more authentic as opposed to like how can I get 1789 01:24:11.279 --> 01:24:13.000 something out of this person? Or what can I make 1790 01:24:13.039 --> 01:24:15.279 them feel or think about me? Like can you just 1791 01:24:15.359 --> 01:24:17.640 feel your own body right now? Just take a minute 1792 01:24:17.680 --> 01:24:23.399 and feel your own body? Okay, and then without trying 1793 01:24:23.439 --> 01:24:26.159 to do anything or make anything happen or make me 1794 01:24:26.439 --> 01:24:29.159 feel or be any way, just see what it feels 1795 01:24:29.159 --> 01:24:33.439 like to be in connection with me and keep feeling 1796 01:24:33.439 --> 01:24:33.960 your body. 1797 01:24:36.520 --> 01:24:37.520 Have fart. 1798 01:24:38.920 --> 01:24:39.760 Feel free to. 1799 01:24:41.479 --> 01:24:41.560 No. 1800 01:24:41.720 --> 01:24:44.279 I would say my stomach hurts when I think about 1801 01:24:44.319 --> 01:24:46.800 being genuine and I'm trying to press some money, my 1802 01:24:46.840 --> 01:24:47.760 stomach hurts exactly. 1803 01:24:47.760 --> 01:24:49.119 That's what I was feeling just now. 1804 01:24:48.960 --> 01:24:53.680 Beautiful, Thank you for saying it, because we put you 1805 01:24:53.760 --> 01:24:56.920 in the position of seeing can I be genuine? And 1806 01:24:56.960 --> 01:24:59.880 the fear comes up immediately, And that's how that's a 1807 01:25:00.119 --> 01:25:02.399 only way we can work with it. If you just 1808 01:25:02.439 --> 01:25:05.279 avoid it by trying to be mister cool, you'll never 1809 01:25:05.359 --> 01:25:06.279 be able to drop it. 1810 01:25:07.039 --> 01:25:08.520 So good your stomach urts. 1811 01:25:08.520 --> 01:25:13.800 Should I say something like, honestly, my stomach urts being 1812 01:25:13.840 --> 01:25:15.520 here with you. I don't know if you feel that way, 1813 01:25:15.560 --> 01:25:18.720 but I get nervous. Am I supposed to say that 1814 01:25:18.960 --> 01:25:20.600 yesterday you said IM supposed to say. I get nervous 1815 01:25:21.000 --> 01:25:22.680 that I can notice I really don't know what to 1816 01:25:22.720 --> 01:25:23.840 say half the time. 1817 01:25:25.680 --> 01:25:28.439 Good when you say that, what do you notice? Like 1818 01:25:28.479 --> 01:25:29.720 what happens when you say. 1819 01:25:29.520 --> 01:25:33.159 That I'm being very transparent and vulnerable. I'm being very vulnerable. Yes, 1820 01:25:34.000 --> 01:25:38.520 But now it's up to like you, yeah, to not 1821 01:25:38.600 --> 01:25:41.039 make it weird because I feel like I'm being weird 1822 01:25:41.039 --> 01:25:43.439 and I'm hoping that you take it in a good way. 1823 01:25:43.520 --> 01:25:44.600 I don't feel like you're being weird. 1824 01:25:44.680 --> 01:25:45.520 I don't think so either. 1825 01:25:45.640 --> 01:25:46.760 I think you're in your head a lot. 1826 01:25:47.560 --> 01:25:51.960 I think you're I'm trying to be the guy and 1827 01:25:52.000 --> 01:25:53.600 You're not gonna be able to drop that right away, 1828 01:25:53.640 --> 01:25:57.439 which is okay, But you're practicing with little steps right 1829 01:25:57.760 --> 01:25:59.520 and you just dropped it like for a moment. 1830 01:25:59.600 --> 01:26:02.960 You just we're like, I actually am feeling the fear 1831 01:26:03.399 --> 01:26:06.359 of being authentic and I'm being real with you about it, 1832 01:26:06.640 --> 01:26:10.560 And to me, that's sexy, Like I appreciate you not 1833 01:26:10.680 --> 01:26:13.880 just trying to play me. I appreciate you actually trying 1834 01:26:13.880 --> 01:26:14.640 to be real with me. 1835 01:26:15.319 --> 01:26:16.279 I feels good. 1836 01:26:17.640 --> 01:26:21.960 How you feel, honestly, If I'm gonna be super honest, 1837 01:26:23.119 --> 01:26:26.680 super honest, in no disrespect. What I'm going to say 1838 01:26:26.800 --> 01:26:31.439 is it's a lot of dickheads dating male and female 1839 01:26:31.880 --> 01:26:37.960 men and women. And I think the fear that I 1840 01:26:38.119 --> 01:26:41.359 have right, I'm not can't put it on on men 1841 01:26:41.399 --> 01:26:43.920 because I think women feel that way too. Is you 1842 01:26:44.000 --> 01:26:46.359 don't know how vulnerable a person is going to be, 1843 01:26:47.439 --> 01:26:51.560 or accept your vulnerability and keep putting yourself out like that, 1844 01:26:52.079 --> 01:26:54.920 especially with all the messaging that you're getting from everywhere. 1845 01:26:54.760 --> 01:26:58.119 We just said everybody's online, so you're getting all of 1846 01:26:58.159 --> 01:26:59.159 these fake. 1847 01:27:00.640 --> 01:27:04.399 How reality right, all of these things right, and so 1848 01:27:04.439 --> 01:27:06.319 people are kind of living like that or people are 1849 01:27:06.359 --> 01:27:09.840 really scared of what they're seeing, and so everybody's emotional 1850 01:27:10.000 --> 01:27:12.600 armor is up. So now if I try to drop 1851 01:27:12.640 --> 01:27:15.600 mine for you and you don't know how to date either, 1852 01:27:16.640 --> 01:27:19.760 your response to me, if I have that vulnerability wound. 1853 01:27:20.119 --> 01:27:21.359 Can make it worse for me. 1854 01:27:21.920 --> 01:27:24.439 So that's why I said, if I'm not honest with you, right, 1855 01:27:24.520 --> 01:27:26.680 say I come up to you and I'm like, you know, hey, 1856 01:27:26.880 --> 01:27:32.319 I'm Tahoe. Honestly, I don't have a pickup line. I 1857 01:27:32.399 --> 01:27:35.000 just find you really attractive. I'd love to like just 1858 01:27:35.039 --> 01:27:36.199 spend a couple of minutes. 1859 01:27:35.960 --> 01:27:38.399 Talking to you. Would you like to get a drink 1860 01:27:38.560 --> 01:27:39.079 or anything? 1861 01:27:39.079 --> 01:27:44.680 Can I get you a water? And they go no, sorry, 1862 01:27:45.439 --> 01:27:47.239 Or if I say my stomach. 1863 01:27:46.960 --> 01:27:49.880 Hurts, you can't walk up to a girl and be like, yo, 1864 01:27:49.920 --> 01:27:50.680 my stomach hurts. 1865 01:27:53.479 --> 01:27:53.920 You can't. 1866 01:27:54.439 --> 01:27:55.840 You can Here's what. 1867 01:27:56.199 --> 01:27:58.439 Okay, here's what you said to me and said, you know, 1868 01:27:58.520 --> 01:28:02.359 teach me. So what we're doing in my office is 1869 01:28:02.399 --> 01:28:04.960 we're seeing, like what does it feel like to step 1870 01:28:05.000 --> 01:28:07.239 into that territory a little bit, and then we're going 1871 01:28:07.319 --> 01:28:09.439 to find the right amount that feels safe enough for 1872 01:28:09.520 --> 01:28:12.840 you where you can be more vulnerable without putting yourself 1873 01:28:12.880 --> 01:28:14.920 out to a level where it would be very humiliating 1874 01:28:15.000 --> 01:28:17.640 if somebody didn't receive you. So we need to find 1875 01:28:17.680 --> 01:28:20.600 the right amount. But right now we're just testing the 1876 01:28:20.640 --> 01:28:25.159 waters and you're feeling what it's like to practice with vulnerability, 1877 01:28:25.439 --> 01:28:27.079 and then you see like how much do I want 1878 01:28:27.079 --> 01:28:29.119 to put it out there in the real world. But 1879 01:28:29.199 --> 01:28:32.880 also like when I'm dating, like when I'm swiping, I'm 1880 01:28:32.960 --> 01:28:37.239 looking for kindness that's like literally like the that's the 1881 01:28:37.279 --> 01:28:40.560 face I'm looking for. So as somebody who's also invulnerable 1882 01:28:40.640 --> 01:28:43.960 like you, I need somebody who feels very kind and 1883 01:28:44.039 --> 01:28:46.560 gentle and genuine in order for me to let my 1884 01:28:46.600 --> 01:28:48.680 guard down. And I'm not going to look for the 1885 01:28:48.720 --> 01:28:51.359 person who looks like the most coolest person in the room. 1886 01:28:51.760 --> 01:28:55.279 They're not even slightly attractive to me because I know that, like, 1887 01:28:55.399 --> 01:28:58.600 I will likely be humiliated, and I don't even go 1888 01:28:58.680 --> 01:28:59.920 for that good I don't even. 1889 01:28:59.840 --> 01:29:03.640 Go forget that. I totally get that I'm that. 1890 01:29:03.800 --> 01:29:05.800 Person to where it's like, I don't like to look 1891 01:29:05.840 --> 01:29:07.760 for the loudest person in the room. I like to 1892 01:29:07.800 --> 01:29:10.319 look for the one that's a little bit more quiet. 1893 01:29:11.239 --> 01:29:13.359 They don't have a big social media following, they're not 1894 01:29:13.359 --> 01:29:16.439 even on social media like that, that's what that's I am. 1895 01:29:16.439 --> 01:29:18.479 I'm attracted to things like that because I'm just like, 1896 01:29:19.439 --> 01:29:24.439 if you're too like rambunctious, you're too ego driven, you 1897 01:29:24.520 --> 01:29:26.199 too like It's just that's such a. 1898 01:29:26.239 --> 01:29:26.960 Turn off for me. 1899 01:29:28.680 --> 01:29:29.560 I can totally see that. 1900 01:29:30.479 --> 01:29:33.000 I can totally see that I'm not the most kind 1901 01:29:33.000 --> 01:29:37.000 looking person in the world in pictures especially, Yeah, it's 1902 01:29:37.000 --> 01:29:37.720 a picture. 1903 01:29:41.479 --> 01:29:42.319 Like do you smile? 1904 01:29:42.680 --> 01:29:43.399 I am smile? 1905 01:29:45.680 --> 01:29:47.159 It's my face. I am smiling. 1906 01:29:47.319 --> 01:29:49.359 I hate smiling. She made me smile earlier. 1907 01:29:49.760 --> 01:29:52.399 I left on anyone who doesn't have a sing a 1908 01:29:52.479 --> 01:29:55.479 single smile picture. Really yeah, I won't date anyone who 1909 01:29:55.479 --> 01:29:56.920 won't smile on anything. 1910 01:29:58.000 --> 01:29:58.680 Are you feel fake? 1911 01:29:58.840 --> 01:30:01.079 I think the best picture for me is when I'm 1912 01:30:01.119 --> 01:30:03.800 doing something fun and somebody catches me in the middle 1913 01:30:03.800 --> 01:30:06.279 of doing something fun. You see the innocence because I'm 1914 01:30:06.319 --> 01:30:08.479 just right, but trying to fake. 1915 01:30:08.279 --> 01:30:12.600 It like posing, Like posing is hard. 1916 01:30:13.039 --> 01:30:18.119 It's very hard. It's very hard. Okay, I want to 1917 01:30:19.279 --> 01:30:20.760 are you gonna ask me what makes me hard? And 1918 01:30:21.159 --> 01:30:21.560 not yet? 1919 01:30:22.000 --> 01:30:25.600 I'm right there, I'm right there. I like that you 1920 01:30:25.640 --> 01:30:27.399 listen to the show. She knows that I'm going to 1921 01:30:27.479 --> 01:30:30.039 ask her what makes her hard, but. 1922 01:30:30.039 --> 01:30:31.000 I'm going to surprise you. 1923 01:30:33.000 --> 01:30:33.760 I got excited. 1924 01:30:34.039 --> 01:30:36.199 We have a segment beforehand. You might know about it, 1925 01:30:36.239 --> 01:30:40.680 and it's called this isn't your This isn't about the 1926 01:30:40.720 --> 01:30:44.439 hardened sauce. This is what's the last thing that made 1927 01:30:44.479 --> 01:30:47.439 you wet? What's the last thing if you think about it, 1928 01:30:47.439 --> 01:30:50.359 what's an experience that you've had recently that was like, 1929 01:30:50.520 --> 01:30:53.920 this thing made me hard? A lot of times I 1930 01:30:53.960 --> 01:30:56.279 talk about poet that I watched, or a moment that 1931 01:30:56.319 --> 01:30:58.000 I had with my young lady, or you know what 1932 01:30:58.039 --> 01:31:00.399 I mean, And I just want to know, like, what's 1933 01:31:00.399 --> 01:31:02.039 something that you had in your life that made you 1934 01:31:02.119 --> 01:31:04.640 that turned you on recently? And then we'll get into 1935 01:31:04.680 --> 01:31:06.520 the heart the general herd. 1936 01:31:06.399 --> 01:31:13.119 And watching her light up when I gave her I 1937 01:31:13.159 --> 01:31:14.880 felt in my body good answer. 1938 01:31:20.600 --> 01:31:24.000 Turning people on is a turn off. 1939 01:31:24.640 --> 01:31:26.560 That's like a big thing for me. It's very affirming 1940 01:31:27.159 --> 01:31:29.319 for me to make. 1941 01:31:29.239 --> 01:31:30.279 Other people feel good. 1942 01:31:30.640 --> 01:31:33.399 Yeah, for sure. Again, this is why I can't wait 1943 01:31:33.439 --> 01:31:36.680 to talk to you. Join this Patreon. That play party 1944 01:31:36.720 --> 01:31:39.119 was something else. I think I had my best scene 1945 01:31:39.119 --> 01:31:40.800 with my lady at. 1946 01:31:40.640 --> 01:31:44.079 That play party. I was too busy playing bartender in the. 1947 01:31:44.039 --> 01:31:48.600 Cold, and I have not told you about anything, right, nothing. 1948 01:31:48.640 --> 01:31:50.359 I don't know nothing about what we're doing in that 1949 01:31:50.359 --> 01:31:51.760 play party. 1950 01:31:52.039 --> 01:31:54.039 I was too busy serving the people. 1951 01:31:54.920 --> 01:31:56.720 So I'm just letting y'all know. Sign up for the 1952 01:31:56.720 --> 01:31:57.880 patreon if you want to hear it. 1953 01:31:57.920 --> 01:31:59.720 You don't have to. It's fine, you know what I mean. 1954 01:32:00.079 --> 01:32:03.479 Your coins is hard out here. Motherfucker's got tariffs coming 1955 01:32:03.520 --> 01:32:04.239 in from everywhere. 1956 01:32:04.359 --> 01:32:05.159 I don't know what the hell is. 1957 01:32:05.279 --> 01:32:06.399 I don't know, yeah, bro. 1958 01:32:06.520 --> 01:32:08.359 Then they China talk about wanting to go to war. 1959 01:32:08.479 --> 01:32:12.039 I'm like, yo, bro, we don't need any of this 1960 01:32:12.279 --> 01:32:15.520 right now, Please please. 1961 01:32:17.000 --> 01:32:17.800 Go to him. 1962 01:32:18.560 --> 01:32:20.640 What happened to the movies when they sent the person 1963 01:32:20.680 --> 01:32:21.479 to get the one person? 1964 01:32:21.560 --> 01:32:22.119 Y'all don't have to. 1965 01:32:22.119 --> 01:32:24.079 Go to war with everybody, right like, we don't get 1966 01:32:24.119 --> 01:32:24.600 the one. 1967 01:32:24.439 --> 01:32:25.479 Person that's starting this ship. 1968 01:32:25.520 --> 01:32:27.159 We ain't got nothing to do with this, nothing to 1969 01:32:27.199 --> 01:32:29.159 do with this at all. Anyway. 1970 01:32:31.680 --> 01:32:33.439 Let me see. I know that you said that you 1971 01:32:33.439 --> 01:32:34.960 haven't been feeling horny lately. 1972 01:32:35.239 --> 01:32:38.439 No, not really, you haven't been feeling horny. 1973 01:32:39.119 --> 01:32:42.880 So as a person that's going through the feelings that 1974 01:32:42.920 --> 01:32:45.920 you're going through, you said that the gym is making you. 1975 01:32:45.840 --> 01:32:49.119 Feel good, which is crazy because working at supposed to 1976 01:32:49.159 --> 01:32:49.920 give you high libido. 1977 01:32:50.600 --> 01:32:51.680 And I've just been like. 1978 01:32:52.039 --> 01:32:57.399 Yeah, you know, so is that replacing the intimacy, feeling 1979 01:32:57.520 --> 01:32:59.000 that that desire for? 1980 01:33:00.119 --> 01:33:01.840 What is it? What are you feeling that? What are 1981 01:33:01.880 --> 01:33:05.279 you filling that time space? Filling with. 1982 01:33:06.920 --> 01:33:08.880 My hobbies? So puzzles. 1983 01:33:11.079 --> 01:33:11.800 Let me get your cat. 1984 01:33:12.119 --> 01:33:16.199 No, I have a dog, my dog every day. 1985 01:33:16.920 --> 01:33:20.479 No, it's just and I'll be traveling a lot soon. 1986 01:33:20.680 --> 01:33:24.680 I'm actually going to Nashville to speaking to Ville. I know, 1987 01:33:24.479 --> 01:33:26.520 I know, I took the opportunity to just still go 1988 01:33:26.960 --> 01:33:28.439 and then I'm going to l Savador at the end 1989 01:33:28.439 --> 01:33:28.840 of the month. 1990 01:33:29.600 --> 01:33:30.760 Yeah. 1991 01:33:30.920 --> 01:33:34.039 Yeah, I have a lot of things lined up, so 1992 01:33:34.439 --> 01:33:36.159 I'll be out the house time. I'm not going to 1993 01:33:36.199 --> 01:33:37.520 be in the house. I'll be out the house. 1994 01:33:37.560 --> 01:33:41.039 It's just that I'm just not feeling I'm not feeling 1995 01:33:41.039 --> 01:33:41.800 the sex right now. 1996 01:33:44.800 --> 01:33:47.640 Flirt with you so much in El Salvador. You're gonna 1997 01:33:47.640 --> 01:33:48.479 get flirted. 1998 01:33:48.119 --> 01:33:52.039 With so hard, especially because the bikinis that I have. 1999 01:33:53.880 --> 01:33:57.800 Got everybody's. 2000 01:34:00.199 --> 01:34:04.600 Yes out on time. All right, I know that you've 2001 01:34:04.600 --> 01:34:06.000 been here way past. 2002 01:34:05.760 --> 01:34:07.359 Your bedtime, past my bedtime. 2003 01:34:07.479 --> 01:34:11.760 Sorry, and I appreciate you doing that my pleasure, but 2004 01:34:11.800 --> 01:34:14.399 I would like to ask you I'll trade my questions 2005 01:34:14.560 --> 01:34:15.159 before you leave. 2006 01:34:17.359 --> 01:34:18.039 The things. 2007 01:34:18.239 --> 01:34:20.239 So I'm going to do a wet and dry today. 2008 01:34:20.560 --> 01:34:24.560 The things that you personally like in the bedroom, the 2009 01:34:24.680 --> 01:34:26.520 things that make you wet. 2010 01:34:27.079 --> 01:34:29.520 So let's let us know how you're feeling. 2011 01:34:30.960 --> 01:34:34.279 I mean, I'm actually like very much romantic, so I 2012 01:34:34.520 --> 01:34:38.439 love kissing, I love just like looking in someone's eyes. 2013 01:34:38.600 --> 01:34:41.199 I'm kind of you know, everybody probably projects onto me 2014 01:34:41.239 --> 01:34:45.800 that I'm very kinky. I'm very vanilla. But one thing 2015 01:34:45.840 --> 01:34:49.079 that I do love is when men make sound well, 2016 01:34:49.199 --> 01:34:51.159 especially like it when they talk to me and say things, 2017 01:34:51.159 --> 01:34:53.720 but also like when they're having pleasure or when they're 2018 01:34:53.760 --> 01:34:56.359 having an orgasm, if they say like I'm coming, or 2019 01:34:56.920 --> 01:34:59.920 like you know, like just making a sound when they 2020 01:35:00.119 --> 01:35:02.279 orgasm is really really hot for me. 2021 01:35:03.920 --> 01:35:05.039 We sponsored that message. 2022 01:35:05.239 --> 01:35:07.239 Yeah, I'm not a screamer. 2023 01:35:07.800 --> 01:35:09.720 Hm you a wheeler? 2024 01:35:11.079 --> 01:35:11.800 Well, it's different. 2025 01:35:11.840 --> 01:35:14.560 I think that I I react differently with who I'm 2026 01:35:14.600 --> 01:35:18.359 having sex with, Like with my lady because we've been 2027 01:35:18.359 --> 01:35:19.239 together for so long. 2028 01:35:19.840 --> 01:35:26.800 I don't care about just the other day. Bro, I 2029 01:35:26.840 --> 01:35:27.880 hate her sometimes. 2030 01:35:28.640 --> 01:35:32.039 I hate her sometimes because sometimes I'm not really hard 2031 01:35:32.039 --> 01:35:35.840 and I get to shake it, so I like collapsed 2032 01:35:35.880 --> 01:35:40.319 on her and I'm like right, and I heard her laugh, and. 2033 01:35:40.279 --> 01:35:43.159 I'm like, you killed You can't laugh? Well, I'm all 2034 01:35:43.199 --> 01:35:47.039 got you can't laugh. I'm shaking. You can't laugh? You 2035 01:35:47.159 --> 01:35:47.720 got him? 2036 01:35:47.920 --> 01:35:48.000 Like? 2037 01:35:48.079 --> 01:35:53.880 What the fuck did you just? Did? 2038 01:35:53.920 --> 01:35:54.520 You just get? 2039 01:35:57.119 --> 01:36:09.960 Look at this? But do y'all like drawing sex moans? 2040 01:36:10.239 --> 01:36:13.239 Like drawing sex moans like while he's in you or 2041 01:36:13.239 --> 01:36:14.079 while you're geting ahead? 2042 01:36:14.159 --> 01:36:16.800 Like because what kind of both of them? What God got? 2043 01:36:16.880 --> 01:36:18.760 How do you moan while sucking? You? 2044 01:36:18.800 --> 01:36:20.520 Can? You? 2045 01:36:22.359 --> 01:36:22.439 Like? 2046 01:36:22.520 --> 01:36:24.119 How do you you can't you do that? 2047 01:36:24.720 --> 01:36:27.319 Yeah? 2048 01:36:26.560 --> 01:36:26.920 No, not. 2049 01:36:28.439 --> 01:36:29.039 What you're doing. 2050 01:36:29.079 --> 01:36:34.720 No ship damn. 2051 01:36:33.560 --> 01:36:37.159 Oh my god, that's holy smoke. 2052 01:36:37.840 --> 01:36:38.000 Yeah. 2053 01:36:38.119 --> 01:36:40.920 I think like mostly the moaning happens during. 2054 01:36:42.039 --> 01:36:45.319 Right, And like I said, so with somebody, there's a 2055 01:36:45.319 --> 01:36:48.079 difference when you're really vulnerable, or when you're trying to 2056 01:36:48.159 --> 01:36:50.399 prove a point, or when you're really just trying to 2057 01:36:50.399 --> 01:36:54.359 put it down. Because I would make sounds with somebody 2058 01:36:54.560 --> 01:36:56.319 that I don't feel that comfortable with, I'm trying to 2059 01:36:56.319 --> 01:36:58.039 be dominant with or whatever, and I'm. 2060 01:36:57.840 --> 01:36:59.600 Like, oh, you're about to make me nothing like you're 2061 01:36:59.600 --> 01:37:03.520 about to versus you know what I'm saying. 2062 01:37:03.560 --> 01:37:07.560 It's completely I'm showing up differently, you know what I'm saying. 2063 01:37:08.039 --> 01:37:09.720 And I like it too. 2064 01:37:09.720 --> 01:37:12.479 When I'm giving head, like, I think a lot of times, 2065 01:37:13.239 --> 01:37:15.720 well I like to give like a really good blow job, 2066 01:37:15.800 --> 01:37:17.079 you know, And I think a lot of times men 2067 01:37:17.159 --> 01:37:17.560 do not. 2068 01:37:17.840 --> 01:37:21.840 Get wait, do white people really say blow job? 2069 01:37:22.039 --> 01:37:24.239 Oh my god, did we not say? 2070 01:37:23.720 --> 01:37:26.000 We say head? 2071 01:37:26.039 --> 01:37:27.119 Head bob? Whatever? 2072 01:37:27.520 --> 01:37:28.000 Blow job? 2073 01:37:28.079 --> 01:37:28.680 I did? I do? 2074 01:37:28.720 --> 01:37:30.279 Gives anyway. 2075 01:37:31.600 --> 01:37:36.199 A blowjob? Blow job? Job? 2076 01:37:36.479 --> 01:37:36.600 Right? 2077 01:37:36.720 --> 01:37:40.479 Well, you know, like to really like go slow and 2078 01:37:40.600 --> 01:37:43.439 like thing like ways that dicks don't usually get interacted 2079 01:37:43.479 --> 01:37:48.560 with or touch or something like that, and so when 2080 01:37:48.640 --> 01:37:50.479 somebody moans or makes the sound when I do that, 2081 01:37:50.520 --> 01:37:52.880 if I feel powerful, you know, that's what we like 2082 01:37:52.920 --> 01:37:56.760 to feel. And it's like, oh, like, oh, it's not 2083 01:37:57.000 --> 01:37:59.319 like or My favorite thing is like when somebody is like, oh, 2084 01:37:59.359 --> 01:38:01.239 I don't really like blow jobs, and then I'm just like, oh, 2085 01:38:01.399 --> 01:38:02.279 just wait a minute. 2086 01:38:02.359 --> 01:38:08.600 You know yes, yes, a less yes, yes less. 2087 01:38:10.640 --> 01:38:13.039 Less the one. 2088 01:38:14.640 --> 01:38:20.000 You know when I tell you that I I love 2089 01:38:20.840 --> 01:38:23.800 giving head because I like to be in controlling that 2090 01:38:23.880 --> 01:38:27.680 and controlling your orgasms. And when Ama says, well, you 2091 01:38:27.720 --> 01:38:31.119 know I never really came from head, I'm like, oh, watch. 2092 01:38:30.880 --> 01:38:31.359 Me do this. 2093 01:38:32.079 --> 01:38:32.399 Yeah. 2094 01:38:32.479 --> 01:38:35.039 Yeah, because it's like suddenly. 2095 01:38:34.720 --> 01:38:40.560 Like good luck, you're ready you blow job. So now 2096 01:38:40.920 --> 01:38:50.000 now you want to blow job? I have one more 2097 01:38:50.239 --> 01:38:52.199 top of you talking about after yourself. If you don't mind, 2098 01:38:52.239 --> 01:38:54.399 it won't take long. But I just need your your 2099 01:38:54.680 --> 01:38:57.159 perspective on this, and I think it gives me really quickly. 2100 01:38:57.199 --> 01:39:01.640 But let's get into the dry Okay, things that you 2101 01:39:01.680 --> 01:39:05.359 don't like in the bedroom, things that make you dry. 2102 01:39:05.520 --> 01:39:09.159 Yeah, I really don't like it when somebody tells you 2103 01:39:09.159 --> 01:39:11.640 you're gonna like something and you say no, I don't 2104 01:39:11.720 --> 01:39:13.960 like that, and they're like no, no, like they don't 2105 01:39:14.039 --> 01:39:16.239 listen when you tell them there's something that you don't like, Like, 2106 01:39:16.960 --> 01:39:19.479 I know myself. I am not a child, you know, 2107 01:39:19.600 --> 01:39:22.479 like I have been studying my sexual self my whole life. 2108 01:39:22.720 --> 01:39:24.439 Please do not try to tell me that you know 2109 01:39:24.520 --> 01:39:26.640 better than me about what I want and don't want. 2110 01:39:26.680 --> 01:39:33.239 So that's how make you feel, I mean angry, angry, 2111 01:39:34.119 --> 01:39:36.000 like angry, like what do you what do you mean? 2112 01:39:36.680 --> 01:39:38.039 What people say? Oh, I know you better than you 2113 01:39:38.079 --> 01:39:38.680 know yourself. 2114 01:39:39.800 --> 01:39:42.079 That's like when a dude like wants to use fingers 2115 01:39:43.079 --> 01:39:46.760 and he knows that he can normally women, he can 2116 01:39:46.800 --> 01:39:49.399 make them squirt or you know what I mean, but 2117 01:39:49.439 --> 01:39:52.000 you're like, I don't like fingers, and they still try 2118 01:39:52.039 --> 01:39:53.880 to go do it. I've heard women say like, yo, 2119 01:39:54.359 --> 01:39:57.680 I told you I don't like fingers, Like why are you? 2120 01:39:57.760 --> 01:39:57.920 Yeah. 2121 01:39:58.039 --> 01:40:00.720 I had this experience where I was like, he was 2122 01:40:00.760 --> 01:40:03.800 trying to rub his dick on my clip. Firstly, I 2123 01:40:03.880 --> 01:40:06.039 use condoms, and I was like, okay, not only does 2124 01:40:06.079 --> 01:40:08.760 that make me uncomfortable in terms of safety, but also 2125 01:40:09.000 --> 01:40:11.960 it doesn't make my give me any sensation that's pleasurable. 2126 01:40:12.000 --> 01:40:16.880 So I'm feeling unsafe and unpleasured and he's like, oh, 2127 01:40:16.880 --> 01:40:18.920 it would have been so hot, and I'm like for you, 2128 01:40:19.199 --> 01:40:20.439 like hello, I. 2129 01:40:20.279 --> 01:40:24.760 Am here too, like the anyway, I don't know why 2130 01:40:24.800 --> 01:40:27.479 he would think that rubber on a click okay, anyway. 2131 01:40:27.880 --> 01:40:29.920 He didn't have a condom on it, just like, so 2132 01:40:30.079 --> 01:40:33.239 don't like rub your condomless dick on, like like. 2133 01:40:33.239 --> 01:40:36.079 No, you really don't understand that. The fear of skin 2134 01:40:36.239 --> 01:40:37.000 to skins. 2135 01:40:36.760 --> 01:40:39.800 And also it does nothing for me like wells you know, 2136 01:40:39.840 --> 01:40:41.319 like I would have to be so turned on and 2137 01:40:41.319 --> 01:40:43.840 it would feel really safe, like it just was like 2138 01:40:44.039 --> 01:40:46.079 it wasn't the thing and I was like no, and 2139 01:40:46.119 --> 01:40:48.239 he's like, oh, it would have been just like and. 2140 01:40:48.199 --> 01:40:50.520 You can lose the moment mad quick by not making 2141 01:40:50.520 --> 01:40:51.399 a woman feel safe. 2142 01:40:52.239 --> 01:40:54.039 Maybe maybe I don't know if a man. Have you 2143 01:40:54.079 --> 01:40:57.800 ever not felt safe joined sex? Yes? Yeah, I don't 2144 01:40:57.800 --> 01:40:59.279 know if men go through that. Do men go through 2145 01:40:59.279 --> 01:41:01.520 that not feel the same? Yes, we do. 2146 01:41:02.039 --> 01:41:04.880 When you don't like anal play and a girl keeps 2147 01:41:04.880 --> 01:41:06.560 trying to put her finger. 2148 01:41:08.319 --> 01:41:10.479 Do some ship that you said you don't like and 2149 01:41:10.520 --> 01:41:12.439 you told her like I don't like that. 2150 01:41:12.479 --> 01:41:14.319 Oh, yes, they told us about the nunchuck dicks. 2151 01:41:15.600 --> 01:41:20.199 Oh what's the nunchuck dicks? 2152 01:41:21.279 --> 01:41:22.720 Who did those? At the end of the nun checks 2153 01:41:22.720 --> 01:41:25.199 and wait, I don't feel comfortable. 2154 01:41:25.720 --> 01:41:26.880 He's like, I gotta get out of here. 2155 01:41:30.000 --> 01:41:31.840 So one thing I'm gonna talk about, because I do 2156 01:41:31.920 --> 01:41:33.720 want to talk about my experience at this play party, 2157 01:41:33.720 --> 01:41:40.000 but real quick, before you leave. I had an interaction 2158 01:41:40.039 --> 01:41:42.800 with a young lady. My lady told me I'm gonna 2159 01:41:42.800 --> 01:41:45.279 give you all a preview here as a birthday gift 2160 01:41:45.279 --> 01:41:46.520 for my fiftieth birthday party. 2161 01:41:46.680 --> 01:41:49.199 She said. Courty came up with me with a birthday 2162 01:41:49.199 --> 01:41:50.079 cake and they. 2163 01:41:49.960 --> 01:41:55.319 Said what we said that as a birthday gift, you 2164 01:41:55.359 --> 01:41:58.079 can have the way of multiple women giving you head. 2165 01:41:59.439 --> 01:42:01.680 Every album, every hour. I think I could get head 2166 01:42:02.560 --> 01:42:04.840 a different moment while my fiance is dead with me 2167 01:42:05.239 --> 01:42:08.439 and I also celebrate. She could do the same thing right, however, 2168 01:42:08.520 --> 01:42:11.079 whoever she wants, male female have fun, she. 2169 01:42:11.039 --> 01:42:13.800 Could get her head. She could get head too, have fun. Right, 2170 01:42:15.600 --> 01:42:19.159 the first person comes over, I had the skinniest dick ever. 2171 01:42:19.520 --> 01:42:21.800 Would not work. My dick would not work. 2172 01:42:22.399 --> 01:42:23.000 Anxiety. 2173 01:42:23.680 --> 01:42:26.199 I wasn't there to play, I was there as a host. 2174 01:42:26.239 --> 01:42:29.680 I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't nothing right, So this 2175 01:42:29.800 --> 01:42:32.880 is happening. And then she's here, and you know we 2176 01:42:32.960 --> 01:42:35.880 don't do but so much. I didn't have no warning, 2177 01:42:36.039 --> 01:42:39.840 I wasn't prepared whatever. But I think that this happens 2178 01:42:39.840 --> 01:42:42.319 to me often at play parties or anytime that she's around, 2179 01:42:42.319 --> 01:42:45.199 and we haven't we're not going in with the idea 2180 01:42:45.239 --> 01:42:48.119 of this is what we're doing or whatever. I remember 2181 01:42:48.399 --> 01:42:52.079 at she got me a riding massage once and enjoying 2182 01:42:52.079 --> 01:42:52.720 the massage. 2183 01:42:52.960 --> 01:42:54.680 This girl is trying going in and trying to get 2184 01:42:54.720 --> 01:42:58.520 me to nune. And I asked the massuse, can I 2185 01:42:58.560 --> 01:43:01.079 suck at her titty while you do this? Is right? 2186 01:43:01.680 --> 01:43:04.279 And she's like sure, And then I'm tucking, like can 2187 01:43:04.319 --> 01:43:08.520 she set on my face when you do this? And right? 2188 01:43:09.159 --> 01:43:12.920 And so I got the first head and it wasn't working, 2189 01:43:13.359 --> 01:43:16.399 and I was like, you might just doing her. Maybe 2190 01:43:16.439 --> 01:43:18.680 you give her some head and I'll just sit behind 2191 01:43:18.680 --> 01:43:22.199 her and watch. Right, she's doing it to her and 2192 01:43:22.239 --> 01:43:25.000 all that I'm feeling her breathing and all that dick 2193 01:43:25.039 --> 01:43:29.560 start rising and I'm like, does this chick. 2194 01:43:29.359 --> 01:43:32.239 Have my dick in her pocket? Like why can't my 2195 01:43:32.319 --> 01:43:32.800 dick work? 2196 01:43:33.000 --> 01:43:37.600 Unless what is this he activates? 2197 01:43:37.760 --> 01:43:39.760 You got these all these chicks that want to engage you, 2198 01:43:39.840 --> 01:43:41.920 but you can only really work if. 2199 01:43:44.159 --> 01:43:49.760 So what is that thing? Secure attachment? What is the 2200 01:43:49.800 --> 01:43:54.159 security have really secure attachment? And when you're connected to her, 2201 01:43:54.199 --> 01:43:56.520 you feel safe to get pleasure from other people, But 2202 01:43:56.560 --> 01:43:58.680 if you're not feeling connected to her, you feel less. 2203 01:43:59.079 --> 01:44:02.000 You know, it's like it's part of what makes you 2204 01:44:02.039 --> 01:44:05.760 feel aroused, just to feel deeply connected to her. I 2205 01:44:05.920 --> 01:44:06.960 want to lose that connection. 2206 01:44:07.199 --> 01:44:10.800 That's so pussy, That is so pussy. You just took 2207 01:44:10.840 --> 01:44:14.039 away my power. She took away my power because she 2208 01:44:14.079 --> 01:44:14.359 got it. 2209 01:44:15.720 --> 01:44:18.159 Power is power. 2210 01:44:18.399 --> 01:44:19.920 Very vulnerable, it's very vulnerable. 2211 01:44:19.920 --> 01:44:23.399 But what's more powerful than actually being vulnerable? 2212 01:44:25.680 --> 01:44:28.000 Being invulnerable? Why? 2213 01:44:28.199 --> 01:44:30.800 Like, if you're vulnerable and you can't and if you're 2214 01:44:30.880 --> 01:44:35.199 vulnerable and it still doesn't hurt you, then you're the 2215 01:44:35.239 --> 01:44:38.720 most powerful in my opinion, m. 2216 01:44:38.920 --> 01:44:42.399 M, the whole is stronger than anybody. He's in vulnerable 2217 01:44:42.479 --> 01:44:43.119 but a right. 2218 01:44:43.119 --> 01:44:47.479 Anyway, I was watching The Avengers today, my bad, So yeah, 2219 01:44:47.560 --> 01:44:49.479 I wonder if anybody else out there goes. 2220 01:44:49.359 --> 01:44:52.640 To that being activated by there by. 2221 01:44:52.520 --> 01:44:55.520 Their partner or needing their partner's approval, or needing their 2222 01:44:55.560 --> 01:44:56.159 partner to. 2223 01:44:56.359 --> 01:44:59.720 Like connect's approval. What about connection connected? 2224 01:45:00.159 --> 01:45:00.399 Yeah? 2225 01:45:00.800 --> 01:45:04.159 Yeah, because her saying it was one thing, but it 2226 01:45:04.239 --> 01:45:06.600 still would work. I needed to be connected to her 2227 01:45:07.039 --> 01:45:07.960 for it to work. 2228 01:45:08.359 --> 01:45:09.119 And I'm just. 2229 01:45:11.159 --> 01:45:13.800 I'm so romantic. It's sorry, I'm a romantic. 2230 01:45:13.960 --> 01:45:20.920 I think it's beautiful. I think it's beautiful to Well, this. 2231 01:45:20.920 --> 01:45:24.119 Has been a great episode. I am really happy to 2232 01:45:24.199 --> 01:45:27.680 have had less. Hirshman on from the Somatica Institute, thank you. 2233 01:45:27.920 --> 01:45:29.039 Please tell us. 2234 01:45:28.960 --> 01:45:31.439 Where they can find you online, for one, tell us 2235 01:45:31.479 --> 01:45:33.760 what your website is, tell us what you have coming up. 2236 01:45:34.439 --> 01:45:37.319 Yeah. So, if somebody wants to be a coach, Somatica 2237 01:45:37.319 --> 01:45:41.119 Institute dot com. If somebody wants to get those classes, 2238 01:45:41.640 --> 01:45:43.800 learn dot Somatica dot com. And if you want to 2239 01:45:43.840 --> 01:45:45.960 find your own coach, we actually have sex Coaching dot 2240 01:45:46.000 --> 01:45:47.960 com where you can get a coach and do these 2241 01:45:48.000 --> 01:45:49.039 practices with them. 2242 01:45:49.159 --> 01:45:51.359 Oh wow, and then all over the US all over 2243 01:45:51.399 --> 01:45:54.479 the world. Oh excuse me, I am all right. 2244 01:45:54.760 --> 01:45:57.159 Well, some people will see people in person if you're 2245 01:45:57.399 --> 01:45:59.399 if there's somebody in your area, or if you want 2246 01:45:59.399 --> 01:46:01.479 to fly to them. I've had people fly. I had 2247 01:46:01.520 --> 01:46:03.600 somebody fly me to Desire in Mexico. 2248 01:46:05.760 --> 01:46:06.319 That's fire. 2249 01:46:06.520 --> 01:46:07.319 It was really fun. 2250 01:46:07.479 --> 01:46:08.000 That's fire. 2251 01:46:08.439 --> 01:46:11.479 And what is your personal or your business, I G. 2252 01:46:11.800 --> 01:46:13.479 Or do you have social media that they can follow? 2253 01:46:13.560 --> 01:46:16.880 Yeah, Somatica Institute, Somonica Underscore Institute. 2254 01:46:16.439 --> 01:46:19.000 Is Thematica Underscord Institute. 2255 01:46:19.079 --> 01:46:22.159 Is s O M A T I c A Underscore 2256 01:46:22.319 --> 01:46:26.199 Institute right on Instagram. 2257 01:46:26.319 --> 01:46:27.199 It's been a pleasure. 2258 01:46:27.359 --> 01:46:28.000 Thank you so much. 2259 01:46:28.119 --> 01:46:30.560 Thanks for us you really read, you really read. 2260 01:46:30.399 --> 01:46:31.000 Us to filth. 2261 01:46:31.119 --> 01:46:38.880 Yes, it's been so good to meet you. 2262 01:46:38.920 --> 01:46:40.199 What more can I say? 2263 01:46:40.640 --> 01:46:40.720 So? 2264 01:46:40.800 --> 01:46:46.960 That's Hirshman from the Somatica Institute Sex, Love, Relationships and Accountability. 2265 01:46:47.600 --> 01:46:50.000 This has been the hard or sore show. 2266 01:46:50.159 --> 01:46:52.439 The show and she's gonna do that. 2267 01:46:53.640 --> 01:46:56.039 She can't stop it. Peace,