Speaker 1: I'm Ali. I came out after twenty years of marriage
Speaker 1: and I have three kids.
Speaker 2: I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came
Speaker 2: out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage.
Speaker 1: This podcast is about coming out later and the struggles
Speaker 1: and victories that.
Speaker 3: Come with it.
Speaker 2: When coming out feels like the end of the world,
Speaker 2: but it's really just the beginning.
Speaker 1: This is the Lesbian Chronicles. Welcome to the Lesbian Chronicles. Hello,
Speaker 1: we're so excited to have Liliana Baktiari with us today,
Speaker 1: who we've been talking about getting forever because I see
Speaker 1: you at my local coffee shop and every time I
Speaker 1: see you, I text Melissa and I'm like, I saw
Speaker 1: her again. I got another chance. I should have walked up.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh, and I've seen you around two and I've wanted
Speaker 2: to say hello, and then, like I said, next thing,
Speaker 2: I know, you're gone.
Speaker 4: So but we're happy to have you on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're very happy to have you on. Thank you
Speaker 1: for making time for this.
Speaker 3: No, I appreciate you guys asking me to be a guest,
Speaker 3: Very very honored.
Speaker 1: Every time I see you though at tap room, you
Speaker 1: are like deep in a meeting and I was there
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago with my son, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go up to he or he's like,
Speaker 1: you are so annoying if you walk up to that
Speaker 1: table right now they're clearly having like a business meeting.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it'll take two minutes, and I'm a constituent,
Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna just like pop over.
Speaker 5: But he's like, like, can I get a picture too?
Speaker 3: That happens people pop over in the middle of the meetings.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all the time.
Speaker 1: Really, I'm going to be a popover next time.
Speaker 4: You ran for city council in what twenty twenty one?
Speaker 4: Is that correct?
Speaker 3: Yes, that's that's one in twenty twenty one, and officially,
Speaker 3: like I think a thing officially kicked off in twenty two.
Speaker 3: I always get the years confused it did?
Speaker 1: It did kick off in twenty twenty two? Yeah, tell
Speaker 1: us how that even? How did you even get to
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one to be like I'm doing this.
Speaker 3: First ran in twenty seventeen against my predecessor, Nadaliine Archibaum,
Speaker 3: who is wonderful and I've since become like it has
Speaker 3: just become a friend and has always been a wonderful
Speaker 3: human being. So she did this job for twenty years.
Speaker 3: Don't know how she did that, Yeah, while also being
Speaker 3: a while also having a private law practice. So when
Speaker 3: I first ran, I never had aspirations of being in office.
Speaker 3: In fact, I was very much raised in the household
Speaker 3: that was did not trust politicians, immigrant families, refugee families
Speaker 3: like one. You're taught keep your head down, do work,
Speaker 3: achieve the American dream. The running joke in you know
Speaker 3: Iranian community, as you can go into one of three fields.
Speaker 3: It can be medicine, dentistry, so you can be a doctor,
Speaker 3: you can you can be a dentist or dental hygienist,
Speaker 3: and you can be and you can also be a
Speaker 3: real estate agent. Those are the way of real estate.
Speaker 3: Have you been to La they owned?
Speaker 1: That is so true.
Speaker 3: Actually my MoManI and that she was both a dental
Speaker 3: hygienist and a real estate agent at the same time.
Speaker 3: So all but we've gotten, you know, it's gotten more
Speaker 3: progressive over the years. Now, we've added lawyers and in
Speaker 3: jis okay, literally all of my cousins are either pharmacists
Speaker 3: and the medical profession or lawyers.
Speaker 1: So what would you have been doing had you.
Speaker 3: Not been done that none of those things.
Speaker 1: None of those things. Okay, you were already doing something else.
Speaker 3: Yes, And so when I growing up in my family's household,
Speaker 3: my father, I actually come from on my father's sign
Speaker 3: a line of revolutionary So my great grandparents fought against
Speaker 3: USSR occupied Ositur, Bijan. So they fought against Lenin and
Speaker 3: we're given twenty four hours to leave the country. Stript
Speaker 3: of all their wealth left my grandfather behind. He actually
Speaker 3: didn't know he had parents until he was twelve. He
Speaker 3: thought they had died when Hilar was getting ready to
Speaker 3: invade Russia. That's when my great grandparents sent for him.
Speaker 3: He my grandfather told me the story. He said, when
Speaker 3: he got off the train, he hugged the wrong people
Speaker 3: because he didn't know what his parents looked like Tabriz
Speaker 3: and they were farmers. And then my grandfather, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: politically active family. Tabreeze is very It sits up in
Speaker 3: northwestern Iran. It's very very very leftist and considered kind
Speaker 3: of the cradle of revolution and Iran. A lot of
Speaker 3: a lot of like a lot of revolutionary action and
Speaker 3: protests has come out of that city still to this day,
Speaker 3: still to this day. Okay, and uh, my My grandfather
Speaker 3: fought against the shaw Uh and then the Ayatola and
Speaker 3: which is you know, the show was. My grandfather was
Speaker 3: a Mosad Loyalistad a prime democratically elected prime minister of
Speaker 3: Iran for the Shaw was overthrown for being a by
Speaker 3: access powers, for being a fan of Hitler, and they
Speaker 3: mosadek Juan the democratic election. And when he tried to
Speaker 3: nationalize oil, he was overthrown by the US and and
Speaker 3: Britain for oil. It's so because they wanted they they
Speaker 3: thought they deserved it. So he they funded a coup.
Speaker 3: They reinstated the Shaw's son to absolute monarchy, and that's
Speaker 3: really celebrated. The Shaw is really celebrated in the US
Speaker 3: because a lot of Shaw supporters escaped here when he
Speaker 3: was overthrown. It's very different for the people in Iran,
Speaker 3: very different for people like my family. My grandfather was
Speaker 3: tortured for thirty years by the Shaw seper police called Sabach.
Speaker 3: So you know, for families like mine, that classist hierarchy.
Speaker 3: You know now that we have this war happening where
Speaker 3: you have the US trying to force another Shaw and
Speaker 3: to power, and there's you know, a war over it
Speaker 3: and it's just a battle my family has been involved
Speaker 3: in for a very long time, fighting for democracy irun
Speaker 3: and so that kind of that led me not into
Speaker 3: political but I've just been politically active from a very
Speaker 3: leftist perspective in my family. I've protested with my dad
Speaker 3: all over the country, parts of the world, Paris and
Speaker 3: started really doing that all throughout my life, and then
Speaker 3: started traveling internationally to do that work when I was
Speaker 3: first time was twenty years old, and then went on
Speaker 3: from there pretty continuously throughout my twenties. Decided to run
Speaker 3: for office because I traveled to parts of Africa, South backpacks,
Speaker 3: all throughout Southeast Asia, uh and you know, Central and
Speaker 3: South America. So everything from like I was in Cambodi
Speaker 3: for the war, tribunals for the you know, the the
Speaker 3: finally the trying of those who were involved in the
Speaker 3: killing fields in the Polepot regime. Oh, my goshow was
Speaker 3: there for that. I did archaeological digs in Kenya, culture anthropology,
Speaker 3: Southeast Asia, human trap combating human trafficking, Central and South America,
Speaker 3: indigenous informed grain building. It's a very long list, and
Speaker 3: international crisis relief work was always what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3: When I came back from a backpacking trip in my
Speaker 3: mid twenties and started seeing like the same levels of
Speaker 3: the increasingly same levels of poverty, the you know, people
Speaker 3: squatting in homes without electricity, like without water down the street,
Speaker 3: from homes that were starting to go for six seven
Speaker 3: like high up six figures seven figures, homelessness, population, food, apartheid,
Speaker 3: And just decided to stay here and start doing mutual
Speaker 3: aid programs. And in twenty seventeen, you know, Trump took
Speaker 3: office and the Muslim ban happened, it kind of felt
Speaker 3: like the only it's kind of a desperation thing, felt
Speaker 3: like the only way to protect my family. You're not
Speaker 3: at the table, then you're on the menu, and my
Speaker 3: family from one of the seven banned countries. So just
Speaker 3: if I can work on a local level and understand
Speaker 3: what's going on, then I can better protect them. Run
Speaker 3: for office is not kind of the way many people
Speaker 3: would approach that, but really, really, really, I mean it
Speaker 3: was a very close race, knocked a lot of doors,
Speaker 3: got a lot of perspectives, and just stayed engaged after that,
Speaker 3: especially after the pandemic.
Speaker 1: Did you feel like your queerness or being a Muslim
Speaker 1: like was that in the end helpful or hurt you
Speaker 1: with getting elected?
Speaker 3: Mostly helpful because it got the story out there. I
Speaker 3: mean it was a clickbait title. It was very much
Speaker 3: reduced to political identities. And I think that that's something
Speaker 3: that we tend to do as a society that's very flawed,
Speaker 3: putting people up on pedestals based on a political identity
Speaker 3: without actually knowing their politics. Kind of like when we
Speaker 3: call somebody progressive, nobody's progressive. People are progressive on issues.
Speaker 3: Nobody's conservative. People are conservative on issues overall, you might
Speaker 3: be when your people are people should ideological different, ideologically
Speaker 3: differ on issue to issue, They should argue those things out.
Speaker 3: It should never be a blind following or blind trust.
Speaker 3: And I think because of the inundation of information we have,
Speaker 3: we just have started evolving and are looking for simplicity
Speaker 3: and trying to reduce things to black and white, and
Speaker 3: they're just not.
Speaker 1: I relate to that so hard, because I do think
Speaker 1: and there's so much happening that you can't decide, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm a liberal. Of course I'm a liberal.
Speaker 1: But then there were more things that come up that
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know about that, and then it's
Speaker 1: like you're right, like you can't it's almost like you
Speaker 1: it's so polarized. It's are you this or are you that?
Speaker 3: And that's a sperist ideology and that's like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: but that's really cool, like and it's just not sustainable
Speaker 3: and you can't be purest on things when compromise is needed.
Speaker 3: I think compassion and empathy are a cornerstone human evolution,
Speaker 3: and when you lead with that, which not which is
Speaker 3: a very hard thing to do. I think the bravest
Speaker 3: thing someone can do right now is care because we're
Speaker 3: also exhausted. But when you lead with that, it gives
Speaker 3: you different perspectives and gives you the ability to look
Speaker 3: at things through different lenses. Most people don't want to
Speaker 3: look at things beyond their own bubble, I think more
Speaker 3: so now than ever because of the exhaustion. But also
Speaker 3: there is a humanization of different perspectives too, so it's
Speaker 3: kind of a give and take. But I think people
Speaker 3: are just like I think, we're just bombarded with too
Speaker 3: much information. We're just not We're just not evolved enough
Speaker 3: to be exposed to this much information and levels of stress.
Speaker 1: The belt line is a great example of like there's
Speaker 1: so much good and now people can't afford they can't
Speaker 1: afford to live anywhere near the belt line in neighborhoods
Speaker 1: that were the most affordable neighborhoods in Atlanta are now
Speaker 1: completely unaffordable. Well, I mean, but it's a beautiful thing,
Speaker 1: the belt line.
Speaker 3: It is. But we also have like the people of
Speaker 3: Atlanta got sold a lie. They got sold a lie
Speaker 3: of you can't have economic development and all so affordability.
Speaker 3: That's not true. That is a moorly because Ryan Gravelle
Speaker 3: and Kathy Woolerd another started this initiative of you know,
Speaker 3: friends of the Beltline and the the way Ryan envisioned
Speaker 3: it his creation affordability first, affordable housing first, then the transit,
Speaker 3: then the sidewalk, and you know, the establishment came in
Speaker 3: and sent in a suburban developer named Ray Weeks, and basically,
Speaker 3: you know when in they won't tell this story, but
Speaker 3: the people that experienced the crushing of their dream will
Speaker 3: tell you the truth, which was that Ray Weeks came
Speaker 3: in as a suburban developer and basically told them at
Speaker 3: the ordering of the city and basically told them, we
Speaker 3: know the way the world works. We have the money,
Speaker 3: you can either come work with us or we can
Speaker 3: starve every dollar you have. Essentially was the gist of it.
Speaker 1: Tell me the you said first comes the last comes
Speaker 1: the sidewalks. Talk me through that those first, because I
Speaker 1: want to be understanding.
Speaker 3: That if the city went in with the belt line
Speaker 3: and they told they talked about the beachfront property before
Speaker 3: they actually stabilized the land. If the thing about the
Speaker 3: market is that it is inherently racist, it is a
Speaker 3: beast you have. You have entities like what is it
Speaker 3: red Robin and or and U Zillow and others that
Speaker 3: are able to is it Robin? What is the name
Speaker 3: of that one? I can't remembersident red where the hell
Speaker 3: Robin came from? But again like Villa and others are
Speaker 3: actually able to go in and curate what an Ami
Speaker 3: area media and like Index is going to be in
Speaker 3: a community by buying up, you know, houses, and the
Speaker 3: hedge funds are doing this as well. They can buy
Speaker 3: up a string of houses at a certain cost, and
Speaker 3: then that last house they'll buy for a higher amount
Speaker 3: to raise the cost of these houses to the value
Speaker 3: of these houses so that they can sell and flip
Speaker 3: them for a much and make a massive profit, and
Speaker 3: so they know do.
Speaker 1: They know they're doing it or do they they know
Speaker 1: that's happening. It's not like they're just like buying it
Speaker 1: up and then this is just a repercussion.
Speaker 3: The thing about a lot of this that hasn't been
Speaker 3: calculated for a very long time, there have been predatory
Speaker 3: lenders and buyers working in the communities like Old Fourth Ward.
Speaker 3: When we saw Old Fourth War change and parts of
Speaker 3: Reynald Sound these other neighborhoods change overnight, it's because the
Speaker 3: groundwork had been laid by going to poor, lower income
Speaker 3: families that in Atlanta are predominantly black and getting them
Speaker 3: to you know, Uncle Joe that kept showing up to
Speaker 3: the birthday parties and was around that got their trust
Speaker 3: to sign up for a loan that they never should
Speaker 3: have qualified for because they don't have the income to
Speaker 3: support it, and so they end up paying the value
Speaker 3: of their house over and over and over again because
Speaker 3: the interest rates get higher and higher, and then until
Speaker 3: Chase Bank ends up with it or you know, another entity.
Speaker 3: So those types of things we saw on the belt
Speaker 3: Line that they didn't go through. It was economic development
Speaker 3: and economic development to me in the United States means
Speaker 3: the fastest thing that you can possibly capitalism. How can
Speaker 3: we move the fast is how can we get the
Speaker 3: fastest return? How can we have the most profit the
Speaker 3: most quickly. And the thing is is if they had
Speaker 3: built it the way it was envisioned, yes, it would
Speaker 3: have taken longer, but we would have had a much healthier, diverse,
Speaker 3: economically diverse city with a working class that still existed.
Speaker 3: And so if you the same thing with my concern
Speaker 3: about the tads, we've told people where they're going to go.
Speaker 3: I guarantee you that once when once we started talking
Speaker 3: the city and the executive started talking about tads last
Speaker 3: year publicly, if you went and looked at I bet
Speaker 3: if we went and looked at properties, we would have
Speaker 3: seen that a lot of the properties in the area
Speaker 3: have already been snatched up by some of the developers
Speaker 3: that know that that infrastructure, that economic development, that money
Speaker 3: is coming. What is like for our people Qullocation district.
Speaker 3: We currently have eight of them. The belt line is
Speaker 3: a TAD. That's how it is funded. Council just passed
Speaker 3: legislation on Monday. I voted against it. I was one
Speaker 3: of two no votes our district was really engaged on
Speaker 3: this and not in favor, and it voted through. But
Speaker 3: it's an extension of six tabs instead of eight. So
Speaker 3: the Beltline tad will not exist past it will not
Speaker 3: exist after the next five years. It'll close, which I
Speaker 3: think will be a very good thing, because when you
Speaker 3: have an inherently racist market and you already have change
Speaker 3: coming and you have massive economic development, and it's like,
Speaker 3: you know, it's trying to like punch a tidle wave.
Speaker 3: So if the intention is to bring economic development, which
Speaker 3: is a good thing, but we live in a state
Speaker 3: that is preempted, that preempts a lot of what the
Speaker 3: city can do, so rent control, capping, grints, those types
Speaker 3: of things, addiction defense, which we have to go through
Speaker 3: nonprofits to do. We are preempted from doing a lot
Speaker 3: to protect our residents, which is why you cannot do
Speaker 3: things the quick way, which is why Atlanta has to
Speaker 3: go the extra mile to ensure that we are stabilizing
Speaker 3: land values quietly first before doing these massive development So
Speaker 3: like with the belt Line, it should have been a
Speaker 3: quiet buy up of property than the announcement, because at
Speaker 3: that point you have the city owns the land, and
Speaker 3: can actually dictate the value. But you know, we haven't.
Speaker 3: We keep making the announcements before we've done the work,
Speaker 3: and that displaces the people that are there.
Speaker 1: Could the city have actually done that? Like sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: so curious, like how that works anyway, Like do they
Speaker 1: have the money to even do that or is it
Speaker 1: like they're just.
Speaker 3: Political will last lack of political will? You have to also,
Speaker 3: I mean, I would also imagine there's a lot of
Speaker 3: private private partners in film dropic groups that are putting
Speaker 3: a lot of pressure on them. I mean AJC article
Speaker 3: just a couple of weeks ago. I think it was
Speaker 3: Alex Taylor, who owns who family owns the AJAC I believe,
Speaker 3: did an op ed in his own paper about how
Speaker 3: the beltline loop had to be finished that you know
Speaker 3: that reil basically saying supporting the idea of continuing the sidewalk,
Speaker 3: of not doing transit and things like that. And I
Speaker 3: think that that's such a perfect synopsis of why people
Speaker 3: are so frustrated in Atlanta. That you have somebody that
Speaker 3: comes from an empire, a billion family that's worth billions
Speaker 3: of dollars, that heads up journalism in a city where
Speaker 3: journalism is practically dead and is using his own paper
Speaker 3: to tell people that how the belt line should be developed.
Speaker 3: That a billionaire is using his own paper to write
Speaker 3: an op ed on how many things transit should be
Speaker 3: designed in the city. That is a perfect example of
Speaker 3: why our constituency, our district believes that corporations are in
Speaker 3: control of the city. That that is a perfect example. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I don't think people fully understand, like even I
Speaker 1: pay attention I live here. Like the way you just
Speaker 1: explained it is so much the whiteboard. I understand it now,
Speaker 1: like in a way that I don't even know that
Speaker 1: I fully did.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm really
Speaker 3: sick of billionaires telling me how I'm supposed to live
Speaker 3: my life. Yeah, dictating the world that I should exist in.
Speaker 1: Would you say the beltline overall, well, if you could
Speaker 1: change it, would you go back and not do it?
Speaker 3: No, I would go back and do it, but I
Speaker 3: would go back and do it the way it was
Speaker 3: envisioned by the creator of it. And I can't imagine
Speaker 3: being Ryan and walking out of my house every day
Speaker 3: and seeing my vision entirely bastardized, and knowing the people
Speaker 3: that I could have saved, that could have enjoyed that
Speaker 3: property and that experience and that entry into their city.
Speaker 3: Because the idea of the connectivity was to combat our
Speaker 3: racial infrastructure. You know, highways that divide that were intentionally
Speaker 3: put into the city to divide black and white neighborhoods.
Speaker 3: The belt line had the ability to combat that. The
Speaker 3: beltline had the ability to connect those neighborhoods, to bring
Speaker 3: people together. And in some ways the belt Line is
Speaker 3: abolutely beautiful. Shouldn't sit here and say that everything about
Speaker 3: it is bad. I mean, you go out on a Saturday,
Speaker 3: Sunday and afternoon, there's people out, People are playing sports,
Speaker 3: people are talking to each other, people are checking out restaurants.
Speaker 3: People are out and about. But if you're looking for
Speaker 3: high capacity transit, that's not the belt Line. If you're
Speaker 3: somebody that's experiencing a disability or completely dependent on a wheelchair,
Speaker 3: how are you going to get from point A to
Speaker 3: point B. It's completely disorganized right, People don't know which
Speaker 3: way to walk. Bicyclists I almost got taken out the
Speaker 3: other day. And so, yes, it's beautiful, but it's also chaotic.
Speaker 3: And what people of Atlanta were promised was high capacity
Speaker 3: transit and connectivity throughout the city and equity, And frankly,
Speaker 3: in my opinion, I don't mean to diminish people who
Speaker 3: enjoy the belt line. I love it. Yeah, that Lin's
Speaker 3: brought great benefit to my district. It's come a great
Speaker 3: cost too, and so I don't want to diminish it.
Speaker 3: But like, we were promised high capacity transit and we
Speaker 3: were lived to right and keep and they keep telling
Speaker 3: us that beltline real can happen, but then they keep
Speaker 3: shutting down the projects after pouring millions of dollars into
Speaker 3: designing them.
Speaker 2: Talk a little bit more about what that vision is
Speaker 2: for people who you know, aren't from Atlanta or maybe
Speaker 2: just visited, don't know a lot about the belt line.
Speaker 4: What was it supposed to be.
Speaker 1: In Ryan's vision?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean Ryan should I shouldn't speak on his
Speaker 3: behalf because he's brilliant and wonderful and that was, you know,
Speaker 3: his creation, and I'm not well versed enough in his
Speaker 3: dissertation to speak fully on his behalf. But what I
Speaker 3: do believe was that it was supposed to be an
Speaker 3: equity tool, something that was supposed to connect people who
Speaker 3: had been separated from progress in the city. For a
Speaker 3: very long time, you know, white flight, white flight into
Speaker 3: the suburbs of Atlanta and surrounding it to cut off
Speaker 3: progress and into the city, only to now have people
Speaker 3: coming in to buy a bland and to flip now
Speaker 3: that everybody wants to live in Atlanta, I mean into
Speaker 3: during the recession. I think we are the second emptiest
Speaker 3: city in the country after Detroit, and you know, so
Speaker 3: like and the funny thing is is that we're not
Speaker 3: even as dense as we were in the nineteen fifties,
Speaker 3: but the level of traffic that we have exists because
Speaker 3: we don't have any public transit. We do have, I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: we do have some public transit, we take no pride
Speaker 3: in it, and we haven't expanded it since nineteen seventy nine. Again,
Speaker 3: not in a way that actually I mean bus routes
Speaker 3: and some improvements on infill stations and things like that
Speaker 3: in pedestrian bridges, but in terms of an expansion of
Speaker 3: heavy real no, I.
Speaker 4: Mean it is kind of wild.
Speaker 2: Like you go to you know, places like Chicago, even Charlotte,
Speaker 2: North Carolina, Denver, they have great reil systems and I
Speaker 2: don't know, I very rarely.
Speaker 4: Hop on Marta yeah, same.
Speaker 2: But if I'm in one of those cities, it's not
Speaker 2: a question like, of course I'm using it.
Speaker 3: My friends came down from New York, I mean New York,
Speaker 3: and they born and raised New Yorkers, pulled of trans
Speaker 3: that is the only way they go. And they were like, no,
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't, I don't. I don't feel comfortable.
Speaker 3: I was actually really floored when they said that to me,
Speaker 3: because I'm very proud of our transit system. I love
Speaker 3: this city. I would die and I would die on
Speaker 3: a hill for the city over and over and over again.
Speaker 3: And when I say these things, people take it very personally.
Speaker 3: They take it as an insult. But I don't see
Speaker 3: how we don't understand that holding ourselves accountable is a
Speaker 3: good thing. That's saying no, we don't have a transit
Speaker 3: vision because we've avoided it because it's too hard, is
Speaker 3: the truth. And it is a problem.
Speaker 1: Talk about the because the most recent thing is the
Speaker 1: water issue that happened. And what's interesting is like you
Speaker 1: were the only one talking about it, and I show
Speaker 1: up a tap room and they're like, oh, we can't
Speaker 1: do coffee because we have this water situation. That it's
Speaker 1: like I showed up there thinking how do I not
Speaker 1: know this? And then you started talking about it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like thinking, it shocked me. That's a huge deal.
Speaker 1: And like I thought about this. You know, tap is
Speaker 1: like they're fine, they're they're busy and popular. But if
Speaker 1: there don't have water and can't make drinks for people
Speaker 1: for two days, it.
Speaker 3: Hurts a small business hugely. Atlanta is God. I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm just like saying all the negative things, but
Speaker 3: I want this.
Speaker 1: We want to know. People want to know like we.
Speaker 3: Atlanta's small business community is the backbone, in my opinion
Speaker 3: of our economic development and diversity. Look what the small
Speaker 3: business community did for this city throughout the recession. They
Speaker 3: employed local folks, They made sure they were housed, They
Speaker 3: made sure I was fed when I barely had anything.
Speaker 3: Small businesses take care of their community and the employee
Speaker 3: their local community. So there, it's a really big deal
Speaker 3: in small businesses, at least in District five. Their visionaries,
Speaker 3: their artists, what they put into how they do like,
Speaker 3: what they put into their menu, what they put into
Speaker 3: their design. And I would say that about any small
Speaker 3: business owner and the costs of opening a small business
Speaker 3: in the city. Are exorbitant and the lat and unfortunately
Speaker 3: our city planning team, of which we have, again a
Speaker 3: lot of really wonderful and experienced people, but a really
Speaker 3: high turnover rate, and we are there as a result,
Speaker 3: there's not a lot of people that there's not a
Speaker 3: standardized protocol. It feels like, because I've had to help
Speaker 3: a lot of small businesses through the process, it feels
Speaker 3: like it differs based on who you get. And I
Speaker 3: don't fault those employees for that, because that that's reflective
Speaker 3: of leadership. They care deeply about their jobs. But you know,
Speaker 3: when you have a million things coming at you and
Speaker 3: there's a constant changeover, it gets very difficult to instill
Speaker 3: a really good system. And so I don't want our
Speaker 3: businesses losing money when one the economy is already difficult enough.
Speaker 3: But also, you know, our businesses aren't you know, a Davembusters,
Speaker 3: or you know, a chain or Greens liquor store, or
Speaker 3: a chain restaurant of some kind or a chain business.
Speaker 3: They're locally owned folks that live in their communities. So
Speaker 3: when that happened with tap Room the water pieces, you know,
Speaker 3: I was getting calls from other small businesses asking you
Speaker 3: know it's a Friday night, can we open? And the
Speaker 3: truth is like, I can't have them taking the risk,
Speaker 3: But I also know they're going to lose money that night.
Speaker 3: That's that's why it frustrates me. Yes, safety of water quality,
Speaker 3: for our consistency, our neighbors, and making sure people are safe.
Speaker 3: But yeah, when folks go to their small businesses and
Speaker 3: they're trying to where they learn most things in these
Speaker 3: small b since this can't serve their customer base, that's
Speaker 3: going to hit them hard in the pockets to make
Speaker 3: it very difficult for them to make up that loss.
Speaker 1: And it felt like a communication problem too, Like it
Speaker 1: just felt like why wasn't that a bit like it
Speaker 1: didn't even I don't know. That felt like a communication problem.
Speaker 1: And then I also heard you say something about how
Speaker 1: it does disproportionately affect marginalized people talk about that a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, redlining is a very I mean, it
Speaker 3: obviously exists in the city of Atlanta, has been going
Speaker 3: on for a very long time. You know, we're trying
Speaker 3: to combat a lot of those in a lot of
Speaker 3: those issues. Again, it's like trying to be back a
Speaker 3: tidal wife. But I would say that a lot of
Speaker 3: it comes down to one, a lot of development in
Speaker 3: those areas. So there hasn't been like there's not a
Speaker 3: replacement of watershed infrastructure. It's taking a lot Like if
Speaker 3: you look at the development that happened on Cascade on
Speaker 3: the west side, it's a massive thoroughfare, had no watershed
Speaker 3: infrastructure on it, so then they were doing the repaving,
Speaker 3: they had to install all of that. And the thing is,
Speaker 3: I would say the only mayor in recent history that
Speaker 3: has done anything for our sewage systems was Shirley Franklin,
Speaker 3: and that's what the penny tax comes from, to help
Speaker 3: with their replacement for the management of our stormwater systems.
Speaker 3: Atlanta was the third landlocked city formed in the country,
Speaker 3: and so like a lot of our watershed infrastructure, like
Speaker 3: there wasn't a set plan. It was kind of I
Speaker 3: like to say, we formed accidentally, and a lot of
Speaker 3: our watershed infrastructure feels very reactionary. But the fact is
Speaker 3: is that there hasn't been active replacement plans. It's been
Speaker 3: very it's like, oh, there's a break, we're planning for
Speaker 3: that break. We aren't stockpiling, we aren't we don't like
Speaker 3: what is the vision for the replacement plants. Our current
Speaker 3: watershed commissioner saying that our full replacement plan would take
Speaker 3: eleven hundred years. That's where we're at. Obviously it was
Speaker 3: about five hundred he said that was a lie. It's
Speaker 3: more like eleven hundred and and funnily enough, in some instances,
Speaker 3: Atlanta is doing replacement plans better than others in the country.
Speaker 3: But quite frankly, I think that has a lot to
Speaker 3: do with the bar being so low for infrastructure in
Speaker 3: the United States. But partially, I mean, like, we get
Speaker 3: insane amounts of rainfall here, and it's not like Seattle,
Speaker 3: where it's steady rain over many days. Ours comes down
Speaker 3: in like flash flood downpours, and so it's it is
Speaker 3: like it's like trying to plug holes. So it's super difficult.
Speaker 3: And so people operationally watershed that day where the water
Speaker 3: went out, they did everything they were supposed to do.
Speaker 3: But y'all didn't know that because there was no communication.
Speaker 1: Zero zero communication. Yeah, I didn't even know I was
Speaker 1: under a boil water advisory.
Speaker 3: I didn't water advisory until I got an email.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I might have told you about one recently.
Speaker 1: All, Yeah, I think you did it came over? She did.
Speaker 1: She came over and she's like, are we allowed to
Speaker 1: drink your water? I'm like, yeah, why You're like no,
Speaker 1: I don't know that you can.
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure there's a boil water. So they have it,
Speaker 4: and nah, make it gay.
Speaker 1: I know. I was just thinking, let's make it gay.
Speaker 1: Let's get this thing gay. Okay, Yeah, talk.
Speaker 3: About what we're talking about. Pipes and we've been water and.
Speaker 1: Infrastructure, and it's a great segue.
Speaker 3: I think that is perfect.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we are a gay podcast. But I was
Speaker 1: thinking a little bit about to just in this administration
Speaker 1: and I don't know at the local level how it feels,
Speaker 1: but you know, funding being pushed away from say trans
Speaker 1: care or like, do you feel that in your job
Speaker 1: at all? That situation.
Speaker 3: Atlanta is the gay mecha of the South. We have
Speaker 3: a lot of it's a lot of youth, a lot
Speaker 3: of youth that come here from Tennessee, from Alabama, from Florida.
Speaker 3: I mean, I worked with I've worked with a lot
Speaker 3: of trends and homeless youth. I mean I've worked with
Speaker 3: a kid once that family found out they were gay,
Speaker 3: back from coming on a family road trip and they
Speaker 3: dropped them off at a highway exit.
Speaker 5: You know. There.
Speaker 3: There's there's been a lot of stories as I've worked
Speaker 3: with that have just been traumatizing stories. But Atlanta is
Speaker 3: supposed to be gay mecca, and then the folks come
Speaker 3: here and we don't actually have a lot of things
Speaker 3: wildly available for trans youth. I don't know, Atlanta really
Speaker 3: never has more than other places. But a lot of
Speaker 3: our shelters are rooted in Christianity, and so I've also
Speaker 3: had a lot of them turn away trans kids and
Speaker 3: say very problematic things. And sometimes certain shelters if it's
Speaker 3: a gay couple, they don't want them together, you know,
Speaker 3: that type of thing.
Speaker 1: So we are are they taking federal dollars in doing that?
Speaker 3: I actually don't know. Okay, I actually do not know.
Speaker 3: That's something I have to I would have to look
Speaker 3: into because that was when DEI was in effect, and
Speaker 3: this was when like when I was doing this work.
Speaker 3: I mean, I still do the work, and so I've
Speaker 3: been able to look into a lot more of it.
Speaker 3: It's improved. It's greatly improved in terms of what we
Speaker 3: were trying to do with our kids and the number
Speaker 3: of people that gotten involved and youth that are stepping
Speaker 3: up and creating new agencies to help queer and trans youth.
Speaker 3: It's really really inspiring to see that expand and the
Speaker 3: approach expand. But I was I was in my twenties
Speaker 3: when I started doing the work with you, because I
Speaker 3: had experienced a lot of housing instability between eighteen and
Speaker 3: twenty three. And you know, a lot of our kids
Speaker 3: depend on survival sex for a place to stay. It's
Speaker 3: when instead of like you know, drugs or other things,
Speaker 3: you will sleep with someone in exchange for staying in
Speaker 3: their bed or on their sofa. And there's you know,
Speaker 3: homelessness looks a lot of different ways, not ways people
Speaker 3: think that it looks. And we also out of in
Speaker 3: the past when we've it's numbers have gone up. But
Speaker 3: in the past. The first time I did a survey
Speaker 3: of the kids that were willing to come forth to
Speaker 3: talk about their sexuality, about fifty percent of them so
Speaker 3: they identified as lgbtq I A plus and so we
Speaker 3: know that that number is probably actually higher. So yeah,
Speaker 3: it's on a local level, you know, state, the state
Speaker 3: PREEMPS is in a lot of things. The state has
Speaker 3: done a lot a lot of anti trans legislation. In
Speaker 3: terms of that, I have had families that have moved
Speaker 3: north for their kids because they want to keep their
Speaker 3: trans children safe.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know, these men have no understanding of how like
Speaker 3: hormone blockers work, how like gender affirming surgery works, or
Speaker 3: the fact that some of them, many of them have
Speaker 3: had gender firming surgery, and they just this disgusting obsession
Speaker 3: with policing other people's bodies and their genitalia and all
Speaker 3: these other things.
Speaker 1: It's just it's weird.
Speaker 4: It well, yeah, and it's fear mongering.
Speaker 3: It's like it's it's it discussed me on such a
Speaker 3: level because I see what it does to these kids totally,
Speaker 3: and what we're trying to do on a local level,
Speaker 3: Like I'm I'm trying to help agencies on my own
Speaker 3: personal like my personal time, organizing, helping parents, directing them
Speaker 3: towards resources, just trying to be a rolodex of information
Speaker 3: for people who need it. That's you know, not even
Speaker 3: like just me as accouncil member. Mutual aid I think
Speaker 3: should be brought into government a lot more. But it's
Speaker 3: the thing that's going to help local communities through everything.
Speaker 3: I mean, the government is not here to save us. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the government is here to help you know, to do
Speaker 3: services day to day, but the government is not here
Speaker 3: to save you from these issues. That's where community comes in.
Speaker 3: That's the truth and hopefully people like me that are
Speaker 3: there to martial out resources on a local level legislatively, truthfully.
Speaker 3: Other than making statements condemning what the state is doing.
Speaker 3: There's not a lot of action that we can take,
Speaker 3: but we can partner with agencies to assist because there
Speaker 3: are a lot of agencies that do this work on
Speaker 3: a local level. I do not think we give enough
Speaker 3: money at all. We also changed our DEI office to
Speaker 3: one Atlanta because of all the federal attacks, and Atlanta
Speaker 3: has actually been pretty good at staying under the radar.
Speaker 3: We don't have the privilege of Chicago or New York
Speaker 3: or things like that. We have to play it very
Speaker 3: carefully because of the conservative politics here. A lot of
Speaker 3: people are like, well, you aren't taking a stand, and
Speaker 3: I understand that, I personally take my stands. The city,
Speaker 3: I understand personally has to navigate this very carefully. Hisses
Speaker 3: me off. But the truth is is the federal climate
Speaker 3: makes it very difficult and people we could be so
Speaker 3: easily preempted by the state at any time, and so
Speaker 3: it takes very careful navigating. But I also believe that
Speaker 3: you don't put on a shirt that says I love
Speaker 3: trans kids to take a picture and then not turn
Speaker 3: around and put in like put your body in front
Speaker 3: of them to protect them. I don't understand how you
Speaker 3: can do a photo op and not actually uphold that
Speaker 3: with action. So I would encourage people to look at local.
Speaker 3: National organizations are great, I don't donate to those. Take
Speaker 3: a look at your local orgs that are on the
Speaker 3: ground to ensure that your dollars are going directly into
Speaker 3: the community that you were trying to help. And that's
Speaker 3: where that's going to happen. Legislatively, not going to see
Speaker 3: a lot happen on a local level. It's going to
Speaker 3: come from mutual aid. It's going to come from council
Speaker 3: members partnering with nonprofits that are prioritizing this worked and
Speaker 3: are the subject matter experts. And I believe that the
Speaker 3: city and especially the county should be putting a whole
Speaker 3: lot more money towards this, and I don't I don't
Speaker 3: even know if the county is putting money towards this,
Speaker 3: but again, even in the city, our one Atlanta team,
Speaker 3: we still have an LGBT, we still have that director.
Speaker 3: But there's no line. I'd have been the budget, how
Speaker 3: much money they're getting, And I couldn't get an answer
Speaker 3: for that, right, So, and.
Speaker 1: Is it because there's not It's almost like there's too
Speaker 1: many if it comes to a vote, it's like most
Speaker 1: people aren't affected, Like they don't see it as their problem,
Speaker 1: so they're just like, ah, who cares.
Speaker 3: There's a lot there's a lot of competing interests, and
Speaker 3: like if I, if I was in charge of that
Speaker 3: would be my priority, that would be one of my
Speaker 3: top priorities. Yeah, I can't speak to why. I mean,
Speaker 3: like the priority of the city, Like their first thing
Speaker 3: is supposed to be our first job is supposed to
Speaker 3: be project delivery in city services, and so equipping those
Speaker 3: departments to make sure that that's happening, putting a lot
Speaker 3: of our money into anti into eviction defense, into trying
Speaker 3: to figure out red stabilization. There are a lot of
Speaker 3: holes to plug up, right, there are a lot of
Speaker 3: holes to plug up. I do believe that the city,
Speaker 3: we do not have the problems of a poor city.
Speaker 3: We are a wealthy city are. Our reserves are almost
Speaker 3: a billion dollars whoa okay and no idea. Eight years
Speaker 3: ago they were seven million. We have a triple A
Speaker 3: bond rating as the highest a city can have. In
Speaker 3: my opinion, we could be spending a lot smarter, We
Speaker 3: could be a lot more focused, and quite frankly, local
Speaker 3: organizations are very good at especially once for trands and
Speaker 3: minority groups, because we know what it's like to have
Speaker 3: nothing and survive on very little, and we're innovative as hell. Yeah,
Speaker 3: dollars to local organizations go a lot farther, and so
Speaker 3: I just I don't think we're doing enough. And I'm
Speaker 3: glad that we have an LGBTQ Affairs Committee, But what.
Speaker 1: Are they doing?
Speaker 3: Then? The policy recommendations, what are the actions, what are
Speaker 3: our lobbying initiatives, what are the funds, What are our
Speaker 3: program what does our programming look like? None? I don't
Speaker 3: none of that. So no, I don't believe. I think
Speaker 3: the city markets itself as a haven. And I do
Speaker 3: believe that we care about gay rights and we have
Speaker 3: we uh, we do take matters around hate crimes and
Speaker 3: those things very seriously. And you know, our police chief
Speaker 3: was the first gay officer on the police force. He
Speaker 3: came here from Indiana because Atlanta was one of the
Speaker 3: three cities in the country that had LGBTQ protections for
Speaker 3: its employees. So there are aspects absolutely that we do
Speaker 3: very well, but I don't believe we're going.
Speaker 5: Far enough from the slightest Speaking of the police department,
Speaker 5: and you know, a crime that was committed against someone
Speaker 5: in our community, Katie Janis Ali and I and our
Speaker 5: friend Sam, we're working on a documentary actually about that murder,
Speaker 5: to work on getting it solved and bring attention to it.
Speaker 3: And what do you want to give background? I don't know,
Speaker 3: follow the listeners know what happened. Well, it's also traumatic,
Speaker 3: So if you don't want to do.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, we have spoken about it on the on
Speaker 2: the podcast before, but you're right. Katie and her dog
Speaker 2: Bowie were murdered in Piedmont Park in July twenty twenty one,
Speaker 2: middle of the night. It is a brutal murder and
Speaker 2: it remains unsolved and and a lot of people in
Speaker 2: the community feel like it's been overlooked by the Atlanta
Speaker 2: Police Department. We understand that there's a lot of things
Speaker 2: that happened behind closed doors that you know, we're not
Speaker 2: privy to all the information that could be happening when
Speaker 2: the investigation, But what are what are your thoughts on
Speaker 2: that crime and the fact that you know this is unsolved.
Speaker 3: Still, one of the things I think we're very flawed
Speaker 3: at with the city is our investigations into homicides. One like,
Speaker 3: they do not talk homicide. The investigators do not talk
Speaker 3: to the council members. We don't really hear anything. That's
Speaker 3: it kept very internal, very close to the chest. We know,
Speaker 3: we know only a little more than civilian populations do,
Speaker 3: and we typically don't get briefed on things unless like
Speaker 3: in depth, unless there ends up being something legal, a
Speaker 3: legal matter to talk about. So I think I don't
Speaker 3: know why our investigations take so long. It's insane to me.
Speaker 3: I can't get an understandab I can't get I can't
Speaker 3: get a reasonable answer. It's something i'm I don't sit
Speaker 3: on the Public Safety committee. It's something I do want
Speaker 3: to dive into. But like I said, there are so
Speaker 3: many things I am diving into that it's there's drinking
Speaker 3: out of a fire hose, There's so many there's so
Speaker 3: many battles. This is a very important one, and it's
Speaker 3: one that I'm trying to uh that I'm trying to
Speaker 3: learn more about, because are we have so many people
Speaker 3: that come to city Hall to talk about instances of
Speaker 3: brutality or a killing of some kind, and the investigation
Speaker 3: has been going on for years, Yeah, and there's been
Speaker 3: no there's been no insight as to what's happening or
Speaker 3: what's going on. And I do not know why the
Speaker 3: turnarounds of these I don't know why are are are?
Speaker 3: What are? We have a board that's that's headed up
Speaker 3: that also hears a lot of these cases, or it
Speaker 3: does cases of police brutality or looks at investigations and
Speaker 3: then of course APD conducts their own and the homicide
Speaker 3: investigators and so on and so forth. But the processes
Speaker 3: clearly aren't working because.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't take this long, or it might just be
Speaker 1: knowledge the politics around Like yeah, for that particular crime,
Speaker 1: it was very soon after the crime happened they deemed
Speaker 1: it not a hate crime, and so on national TV
Speaker 1: they're like, we know it wasn't a hate crime, Midtown,
Speaker 1: go about your business.
Speaker 4: You know that when you don't even know who did.
Speaker 1: It and you haven't even had time to look at
Speaker 1: the park yet, like the park was open, like you
Speaker 1: don't know anything yet, like what Like that to me
Speaker 1: was infuriating And I feel.
Speaker 3: Like correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm sorry and
Speaker 3: trigger warning to anyone listening, because I'm going to ask
Speaker 3: about injuries that were that were given to Katie. So
Speaker 3: if you don't want to hear or this, than mute
Speaker 3: for a moment, but correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 6: I thought there were some messages it was fat her body,
Speaker 6: but we have a theorized and a lot of other
Speaker 6: people have as well that it could have been fag
Speaker 6: but they didn't.
Speaker 4: Have time to complete about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she was not sexually assaulted, but it appears
Speaker 2: that she it might have been in progress given that
Speaker 2: her pants were partially pulled off.
Speaker 3: So I think that's I mean, outside of this alien list,
Speaker 3: I think that's the conversation that we should continue talking about.
Speaker 3: And you know, uh, yeah, this is I would like
Speaker 3: to continue that conversation. But to the point that you
Speaker 3: all have made, I would think that there even should
Speaker 3: be check ins with the family just because of the
Speaker 3: brutality of the situation. And I mean that that vigil
Speaker 3: was one of the most most heartbreaking things I've ever attended.
Speaker 3: And you know, it's scared our community, scared, our care
Speaker 3: about community because we do feel targeted. And even if
Speaker 3: you say that's not the case, I mean, how do
Speaker 3: you know, right, it was like kind of like when
Speaker 3: the community was really upset when the officer that was
Speaker 3: involved in the Richard Brooks situation came and was at
Speaker 3: the Pride parade, and my god, was the community triggered?
Speaker 3: Understandable totally And to that point, I don't know if
Speaker 3: it's overload. I don't know, if it's being spread too thin.
Speaker 3: I don't know, if it's exhaustion and dehumanization. I don't know,
Speaker 3: because I will say, you know, way too much. Is
Speaker 3: way too much as demanded of officers. The overdependence of
Speaker 3: the community on police, I won't even just put it
Speaker 3: on them, but overdependence that we have as a society,
Speaker 3: true like that of not wanting to deal with things
Speaker 3: that we could easily handle just by you know, listening
Speaker 3: or being just a little human.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: I will say, I will say that for them, but
Speaker 3: there should at least be at minimum check ins that
Speaker 3: you know, this is still ongoing and you know, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: just I just wanted to make sure you knew that
Speaker 3: we haven't that this is not lost on us type.
Speaker 1: Of thing, right, But I agree with that, Like, I
Speaker 1: think that would go a long way, or even just
Speaker 1: now that it's been so long, release more information. If
Speaker 1: you can't find them, maybe the public can't, that's just it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's like you haven't told us the dog
Speaker 1: and a cropsy, Like what else has that happened? It
Speaker 1: can't just be we're still working on it, guys, Like
Speaker 1: that's not enough anymore.
Speaker 3: The other thing is, I will say that the public
Speaker 3: shouldn't know, because I only found this out recently, is
Speaker 3: that Atlanta doesn't have its own crime lab, so we
Speaker 3: actually share with a bunch of uh different like it's
Speaker 3: it slows everything down, wow, but more.
Speaker 1: A huge city.
Speaker 4: That's crazy.
Speaker 3: We gotta if that's something that's going to have to
Speaker 3: be focus moving forward. The city is building an new
Speaker 3: E nine one one center finally, but no, the fact
Speaker 3: we don't have a crime lab, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: That is crazy. Wow, I had no idea. That's really
Speaker 1: really fascinating. I would have never thought that.
Speaker 2: Before we wrap up, I did want to you know,
Speaker 2: our podcast is for people that are coming out later
Speaker 2: in life.
Speaker 4: That's like our main focus.
Speaker 2: I was wondering if you'd be open to sharing any
Speaker 2: of your coming out stories, seeing that you're Iranian and
Speaker 2: Muslim and what that was like.
Speaker 3: And people get confused about the Muslim Muslim thing because
Speaker 3: you know, they have a certain idea and there are
Speaker 3: some Muslims. I would say that I'm not, but you know,
Speaker 3: I exist, so existed it. But I would like my
Speaker 3: coming out story. So I knew I was different when
Speaker 3: I was in pre school when you know, I think
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure I kissed my first girlfriend at Children's
Speaker 3: World when I was like four.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, taking out your business?
Speaker 4: Can you can you?
Speaker 3: I was different very much from the beginning, and like
Speaker 3: growing up very much a tomboy, my mom said after
Speaker 3: I watched friend Gully. Remember, like I think his name
Speaker 3: was Max. His shoes were always untides. So I always
Speaker 3: did that, you know, I wanted, and like when I
Speaker 3: was by myself, I had this alter ego. His name
Speaker 3: was Nick, and that was like a character I would
Speaker 3: act out. So I wonder oftentimes I've wondered if I
Speaker 3: had grown up in a different household that was more supportive.
Speaker 3: Would I have ended up trans Would I have ended
Speaker 3: up more more masculine? What would those things have looked like?
Speaker 3: My gingers for you have been more uh more uh
Speaker 3: not controllable because I don't think that's a good word,
Speaker 3: but you know better.
Speaker 4: The freedom to explore it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so that understanding that very homophobic. I wouldn't
Speaker 3: even say homophobic microaggressions in our household. So I knew,
Speaker 3: even in my limited knowledge that like what I was
Speaker 3: was not okay with my parents again trigger warning. I
Speaker 3: started self harming it at probably eight or nine, knowing
Speaker 3: I was different. I remember being really really mad at
Speaker 3: God without even really understanding and just not understanding why
Speaker 3: I couldn't be like everyone else. And so self harming
Speaker 3: took place in a lot of ways for many years.
Speaker 3: And I had really racist teachers and the Lilburn and
Speaker 3: like the one or two kids that were out were
Speaker 3: so brutally bullied. And what was interesting is I also
Speaker 3: got confused because you know, hormonally reacting to different people
Speaker 3: didn't even mad at your gender. It was like, you
Speaker 3: know it. It was really confusing that sometimes my body
Speaker 3: would respond to guys and I didn't understand, and so
Speaker 3: like you know, queer, I've dated men. You know, it
Speaker 3: was really confusing to not be physically left like like
Speaker 3: not really the attraction was very confusing for me. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so self harming, which I would also say those instances
Speaker 3: exploring and not understanding what was going on truthfully led
Speaker 3: to assault. So that was like a very no, and
Speaker 3: it wasn't talked about, Like I couldn't talk about it,
Speaker 3: so buried very very very very very deep, which led to,
Speaker 3: you know, a self hate that led to additional self harming.
Speaker 3: And so it wasn't until I was twenty three. I'd
Speaker 3: been I had just come back from a trip and
Speaker 3: I had no money, and I got I had a
Speaker 3: pretty explosive fight with my family and got put out
Speaker 3: of the house. Oh wow, And I had nowhere to go.
Speaker 3: And some people would think twenty three, you know, you're
Speaker 3: old enough. Culturally in my household, in the most Iranian households,
Speaker 3: I was the first. I was the first girl. I
Speaker 3: was the first non male to leave home, and I
Speaker 3: was considered a whore for doing so. And so because
Speaker 3: I didn't want to stay home and be with the
Speaker 3: family and take on more traditional lifestyle and I very
Speaker 3: much paved away from my cousins, which I'm very proud of.
Speaker 3: They had a much easier time than I did. But yeah,
Speaker 3: as a result, I had nowhere to go. I didn't
Speaker 3: understand taxes. I didn't understand you know, I didn't understand
Speaker 3: how to check a bank account. I had actually had
Speaker 3: like all of my money stolen off a nineteen souse.
Speaker 3: I didn't understand and credit score in the in the toilet,
Speaker 3: all the things and so, which is also why helping
Speaker 3: homeless kids and teens is so important to me, because
Speaker 3: those years are so critical to development totally, because you know,
Speaker 3: when I was I came out, well, I got kicked
Speaker 3: out of the house. I had nowhere to go, and
Speaker 3: I ended up showing up to a high school friends.
Speaker 3: I think I slept in my car the first night.
Speaker 3: And then I ended up showing up to a high
Speaker 3: school friend's party in Grant Park that I hadn't seen
Speaker 3: in forever, and I showed up there full transparency. I
Speaker 3: had a black eye and a chiptooth and he asked
Speaker 3: me what happened and I told her, and I had
Speaker 3: nord to stay, and she was like, you stay, you
Speaker 3: stay here now, and the next morning we woke up
Speaker 3: and because we've been drinking, I was like, are you sure,
Speaker 3: and she's like yes, And she's been my best friend
Speaker 3: in the world, been my best friend ever since. But her,
Speaker 3: my friend Ariel, my friend Taylor, my friend Leanna, they
Speaker 3: absolutely saved my life, took me in, helped me come
Speaker 3: out of the closet. Agnes Scott, woman ripped me out
Speaker 3: of the closet and black tracks, yeah, actually let me.
Speaker 1: I got ripped out of a closet by a what's.
Speaker 3: The school called together, Agnes Scott, Agnes Scott.
Speaker 1: I got ripped out of a closet by an Agna Scott.
Speaker 1: Grat We'll go ahead.
Speaker 3: But it was the first time I felt safe enough
Speaker 3: to like do that. Yeah. I was at dinner with
Speaker 3: a bunch of them and when the girls goes, you know,
Speaker 3: he's She's like, you see how you're sitting right now?
Speaker 3: I was like yeah, and she goes gay, gay gay,
Speaker 3: and so I started, you know, it was like it
Speaker 3: was like I've never felt weight lifted off my shoulders
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 3: It was like the most fream feeling. And I, uh,
Speaker 3: then I you know, obviously realized from the beginning that
Speaker 3: I was no monogamous. I met my partner now of
Speaker 3: almost fourteen years, when I was twenty four, and it
Speaker 3: was like, I tell people that I was fairrible, and
Speaker 3: I've ever heard because my idea of a meat meal
Speaker 3: of a dinner was like chef boyardy out of a
Speaker 3: can and something like that.
Speaker 4: You know, I was fire.
Speaker 3: I didn't know. I didn't know how to cook for
Speaker 3: myself or any of those things because I don't have
Speaker 3: any of that. You know, I'm still learning those things,
Speaker 3: and I still talk about people recovering from the financial
Speaker 3: issues from that time because of learning. But I didn't.
Speaker 3: I wanted to come out to my family, and none
Speaker 3: of them wanted to hear it. I told my uncle,
Speaker 3: who is my one blood, out blood gay relative. I
Speaker 3: have thirty first cousins. I'm telling you, statistically, it's impossible
Speaker 3: that I'm the only gay one.
Speaker 1: Totally.
Speaker 3: I know totally. My uncle was like, I went and
Speaker 3: flew up with my partner and I told him, and
Speaker 3: he looked at his husband and told you, and I go,
Speaker 3: he had a bed and I was like, yeah, and
Speaker 3: I go, when did you know I was gay? He goes,
Speaker 3: about the time when you were I knew for sure
Speaker 3: when you were fifteen and had that life sized poster
Speaker 3: of Angel Angelia a wetsuit above your bed. So but
Speaker 3: the rest of my and we didn't want to know.
Speaker 3: My mom's best friend finally told her over text. I've
Speaker 3: told her over dinner, and my mom texted me and said,
Speaker 3: I love you no matter what. But I came out
Speaker 3: to my whole family when I was twenty nine because
Speaker 3: I was the first queer Muslim to run in the country,
Speaker 3: and I asked, I think teen Vogue and Huffington posted
Speaker 3: the story and I asked them to make sure that
Speaker 3: I was in the title. And we had a cousin's
Speaker 3: weekend with all the girls shortly after, and one of
Speaker 3: my my aunt came up to me and she goes,
Speaker 3: were you planning on telling us that you were gay
Speaker 3: before you had it published in a national magazine? And
Speaker 3: I said, well, I tried, and everybody was so passive
Speaker 3: aggressive about it and wouldn't talk about it that I
Speaker 3: thought I'd won up them and I was just putting
Speaker 3: in a magazine and force them to deal with it. Yep,
Speaker 3: and they they'll be talked about and everybody just kind
Speaker 3: of accepted it. I don't know if it would have
Speaker 3: been the same, if that hadn't been so celebrated on
Speaker 3: a national level.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But yeah, and now and now you know, I have
Speaker 3: my we have our other partner, Chris, and Sarah. My
Speaker 3: partner's Chris. It's been thirteen and a half years. Like
Speaker 3: I said, I was fourteen, Sarah, it's been it'll be
Speaker 3: six years in September, and uh, we're really happy family.
Speaker 3: And my mom now says she has three daughters, not one,
Speaker 3: I think, invited to every holiday, every wedding, everything. I mean,
Speaker 3: if you had told me that that was going to
Speaker 3: happen a couple of years ago, who told you I
Speaker 3: was more likely to like make out with Trump? So
Speaker 3: the fact that you know it's it's it's a it's
Speaker 3: come a very long way. But yeah, that's how I
Speaker 3: came out. It was a really it was a very
Speaker 3: interesting ride. I came out in a national magazine and
Speaker 3: forced them to force them to deal with it. But yeah,
Speaker 3: there's still some struggles there.
Speaker 2: Time to tell you, do you what would you say
Speaker 2: to someone who is Muslim and struggling with this with
Speaker 2: coming out and that fear of what their family's going
Speaker 2: to think and all those things.
Speaker 3: I would tell them that they're not alone because the
Speaker 3: feeling of loneliness was like absolutely crushing, and I would
Speaker 3: never want anyone to feel like that. When I came
Speaker 3: out and the story of me running actually became international,
Speaker 3: I had some I had some young queer girls driving
Speaker 3: from Lebanon and a couple others queer Muslim women that
Speaker 3: felt like they couldn't come out, and others that were
Speaker 3: like I'm not, like thank you, you know, So it was,
Speaker 3: it was it was really touching to know that that
Speaker 3: had an effect on folks. It's really hard because when
Speaker 3: I have talked individuals, I wouldn't tell them to do
Speaker 3: what I did because I don't. It was not easy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and you know, there was a time where I didn't
Speaker 3: think I would live past thirty. It takes it. It's
Speaker 3: it's not it's you know, people romanticize trailblazing, and yeah,
Speaker 3: part of it is. And I will say that it
Speaker 3: was completely worth it, and I'm so glad that I
Speaker 3: fought for freedom and doing life my way. It came
Speaker 3: at great cost, but the end result was worth it.
Speaker 3: So I would tell people, I mean, build community, build community,
Speaker 3: build community. There You're not alone. If you're not afraid
Speaker 3: to take that leap. We've there is a lot more
Speaker 3: freedom out there for those who really want it. If
Speaker 3: you want to make that leak, there's a community here
Speaker 3: that will catch you. It will cheesy, no, it will
Speaker 3: be very hard, but I really do believe the journey
Speaker 3: is worth it.
Speaker 1: That's a really great place to wrap I think I
Speaker 1: love that message.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great talking with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just love like how you are so you're going
Speaker 2: for everything that you want and sticking up for others
Speaker 2: along the way, and that's just very admirable.
Speaker 4: So thank you so much for thank you taking the
Speaker 4: time to talk with.
Speaker 3: Us, absolutely rereading and providing the space. I think it's awesome.
Speaker 1: Where can people find you, like Liliana back TI, where
Speaker 1: can they find you online?
Speaker 3: We have well, I mean have a website, but they
Speaker 3: can email, call. I'm happy to give you all that information.
Speaker 3: People have. People tag me on social media all the
Speaker 3: time they met, They DM me. I don't think there's
Speaker 3: any shortage of ways to get in touch, okay, And
Speaker 3: then of course I try to be atfee shops in
Speaker 3: the district and I do coffee with the council member
Speaker 3: at small businesses around the district and then trying a
Speaker 3: lot to make sure that I'm accessible to folks. But
Speaker 3: I'm happy to drop my information to make sure that
Speaker 3: you can share it. But email number, you know that
Speaker 3: is the fastest way. And then of course people have
Speaker 3: reached out on social media when they're confused about what
Speaker 3: to do. But yeah, you can always, always, always reach
Speaker 3: me by email. And then we're also in the process
Speaker 3: of building our website again because city of websites are
Speaker 3: a place of hell and you can't find anything, so
Speaker 3: creating our own to make it more easily navigable. Awesome,
Speaker 3: love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, thank you so so much, and we will
Speaker 1: publish this and tag you and I know it's going
Speaker 1: to get a great response.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, guys, I really appreciate it. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Enjoy the rest of can y'all please say hi if
Speaker 3: you've seen me before, I see you.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm definitely definitely we're best friends.
Speaker 4: Now you don't be able to get rid of us.
Speaker 3: I want to buy a hat if I can. If
Speaker 3: you have a merchant, we'll give you.
Speaker 1: One for free. Yeah, I've definitely it's coming your way.
Speaker 3: Then, thank you guys.
Speaker 1: All right, all, thank you, bye bye.
Speaker 3: Bye Bye.
Speaker 4: I want to support the Lesbian Chronicles podcast.
Speaker 6: Rate us and write a review on Apple podcast or Spotify.
Speaker 1: We'd love listener feedback. If you'd like to share your story,
Speaker 1: email us at Melissa and Ali at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's Melissa M. E.
Speaker 3: L I.
Speaker 1: S A and Ali A L. L I at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. Or follow us on Instagram at Lesbian Chronicles