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Speaker 1: You are now listening to soft core history.

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Speaker 2: What is up? Welcome back to softcore History. I am

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your host for the week, Rob Fox, joined as always

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by Dan Rejester. We got new set, deck, We do

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have new set.

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Speaker 1: Shouts to Mattie Ice and uh got a little Teddy

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Roosevelt on my little stands, just to say Teddy Roosevelt,

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just Teddy Roosevelt. His epitaph should be bad hang, nothing crazy.

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He was a bad hang. Somebody you need in the

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group though.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Oh, impressive dude, great dude, but just exhausting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want him to plan the trip and then

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not participate. Great guy for that glue guy.

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Speaker 2: Because he plans the trip and it's sick, right, it's

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a rad trip, but you have to be around him.

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But then yeah, nights, it's morning one. You've already had

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your night, like you got to the city and you

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fucking went out and had a good time or whatever.

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Morning one of day two, seven in the morning, bully.

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Speaker 1: Wake up boys, bachelor party. Teddy's there. You just feed

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him drinks all morning at brunch. Yeah, we're playing golf.

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Feed him drinks. Try to knock him out quick, knock

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him out by the launch.

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Speaker 2: That's what Teddy is. Yeah, you're like Teddy, you can't

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do that. You can't do another shadow rumpmans. You ain't

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got it in you anymore. You don't get that dog

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in you anymore. Son hand'ed me the minty liquor. I

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shall chug it. You're outest like toty Tody Toody.

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Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, I guess he's gonna be your brother

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in law. That's the only reason he's at the bachelor

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party to begin with.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, I always feel bad, and I've actually been

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on a on a bachelor party like that before, but

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I always feel bad for the guy in the.

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Speaker 1: Group who that knows no one else.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but he's buddies with the guy.

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Speaker 1: Family member that's involved in the wedding. Yeah, you're marrying

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into that family or.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I had one of those on my bachelor's

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my own brother Pat. He didn't really know. He knew Denny,

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my buddy Denny, but he didn't know any really anyone

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else from Pat's a total nerd my fraternity. Uh, not nerd,

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but he's he's a weirdo. I think his wedding announcement

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or not his wedding announcement.

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Speaker 1: But has to be way more insultant is to call

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him a total weirdo but not a nerd.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a he's dumb, and he's dumb and bizarre.

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Speaker 1: Uh, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt of

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being smart.

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Speaker 2: He is nerdy in his own way. His engagement party

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was just him and his then fiancee now wife photoshopped

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into the roadhouse poster. It was like the main piece

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of the decoration.

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Speaker 1: That. Did they do a roadhouse themed wedding?

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Speaker 2: I wish no, but that was one. Actually I didn't

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go on the bachelor party. I couldn't make it because

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one of my kids had just been born. But uh,

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on the wedding excuses, do you even care about your brother?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know your family members.

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Speaker 2: I love Pat Pat. I indoctrinated into Atlanta Braves fandom,

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so we're tight. Uh. But I was like, I was

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in the wedding party right, and it was me my

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other brother Tom, who had gone on the Batchel party

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so he had met them before. And then just like

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all of my brother's fraternity brothers who were all like

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cool guys, but like I did not know them. I like,

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I was just like but a lot of them looked

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up to you. They did not.

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Speaker 1: In fact, dude, DFM, you're so cool man. I used

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to read your shill during actually fuck you Bacon during

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the best man speech his best man specific Glee made

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fun of TFM. Yeah, dunked on you. Yeah hard, Yeah,

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just put his nuts all over your face like.

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Speaker 2: Fucking sweet after the fat. But I see, I've been

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on both sides of that, and it stinks. It's stinks,

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and that's who Teddy would be that guy for sure

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to bring it back around.

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Speaker 1: I guess well, he would never be on another side

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of that. He would only be on one side. Yeah,

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And it's knowing one person, yes.

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Speaker 2: And then like waking everyone up at seven, I've made

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egg because it's bacon.

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Speaker 1: And you're like sausages. That's awesome. Yeah, that's very clutch

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of you, Teddy. And then you listen to him continue

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to talk right, and you're like, hey, Teddy, here's a bottle.

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Do a pool? Do another pool, Teddy? Do another pool?

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Speaker 2: A what a pool of liquor? A poll p u

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l ll pool. I don't want to hear shit about

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how I say warm again pool?

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Speaker 1: People say pool pull. Yeah, I'm saying the same thing.

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Speaker 2: You're not. You're saying swimming pool.

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Speaker 1: You are a fucking Midwestern weirdo. You are saying swimming

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pool pool. Do you just just get on the discord? Guys,

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also patreon dot com slash softcore history. If you join,

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you can be on our disc It is not it's

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nothing like you saying weirm. We wear me out right now,

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get on the discord and please weigh it on this.

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For the love of God, I can. I'm a mush

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mouth because I'm from Philadelphia. Yes, you go warm. He

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still wear me out right now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty weirm, butter getting the pool.

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Speaker 1: Doing a pool?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 1: A pool in the pool.

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Speaker 2: Let the We're gonna let the people weigh out of this.

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Speaker 1: Because now I understand it's the same thing. I say,

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wolf and wolf. What like a wolf goes wolf?

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Speaker 2: Okay, that sounded fine. Nah, it's kind of similar like

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a wolf. I also have a hard.

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Speaker 1: Time saying gee in anything that ends in I in

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g So, like I said, wedding, which is wedding.

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Speaker 2: There, whatever you're wedding, you're just casual there.

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Speaker 1: You put an apostrophee something the same thing, pool liquor,

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God damn it.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's talk about a warm place with lots

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of pools.

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Speaker 1: Jamaica, Bahama, come, I'm pretty mama.

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Speaker 2: So I specifically did this episode because this is something

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a history article came across my feet or whatever, and

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I was I just I did not know this. I

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did not know that this person did this, and it

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was immediately fascinating to me. So I think most people

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are aware that Jamaica was a British colonial possession, right.

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Speaker 1: Fucking live over here already starting with the word colonial.

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Speaker 2: It was Spanish first, and we'll get to that, but

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it was. It was a British colony for most of

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its history once your Europe got to the Americas. But

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I don't really think much about Jamaica ever in any capacity.

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Just not a place that interests me. I don't really

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ever want to go there, do you?

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Speaker 1: You don want to go to Sandals?

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Speaker 2: Sandals Jamaic? I mean everyone speaks English, I guess, which

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is nice, But like, I don't know, I'm not a

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big Caribbean guy.

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Speaker 1: Maybe if you want your kid to be a track star,

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you send him down to Jamaica. You want your kids

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to be a wrestling star, Dugistan, you want them to

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be a track Heroica.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like they lack the genetics to really

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cash in on that training. It's hard work. Yeah, that's

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it's all. They're all just jim rats.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was saying Bolt definitely doesn't have the body for running.

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Speaker 1: Nature versus nurture. Really. Yeah, if Finn's just growing up

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in Jamaica for the first twelve years of his life,

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I think he'll just be really fast.

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Speaker 2: I think I'd rather grow up in Jamaica than Augusta

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if I.

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Speaker 1: Had to pick. He'll be more disciplined in Augustan.

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Speaker 2: That's probably true. So Jamaica is gonna be a total

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wild card. Yeah. Uh, Jamaica, Like I starts talking like

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hey man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I was gonna say, he's gonna start talking like

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chet Hanks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, hey ja man, Yeah, relax man. So Jamaica I

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sort of assumed just kind of got colonized by the British,

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like in the early to mid seventeen hundreds, like basically

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like Pirates of the Caribbean era. Pirates of the Caribbean

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takes place in the seventeen twenties. I kind of figured

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it was around then.

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Speaker 1: I would have thought kind of closer to Cuba, Cortez,

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the Spanish.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's when the Spanish kind of got there. Yeah,

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but I didn't think the British got it.

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Speaker 1: I think they were setting up shop.

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Speaker 2: They did, but I didn't think the British got in

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there until the seventeen hundreds. That's just kind of my

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thought was my thought on it.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's because you're a dumb bitch.

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Speaker 2: But not only is that that uh, not true, I guess.

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But it turns out that Jamaica has something in common

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with Ireland. And this is what shocked me.

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Speaker 1: They have native whites.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, of course not. In fact, everyone

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you think of as Jamaica not from Jamaica. Obviously, they're

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all fucking black, like it's it's there. They're slaves or

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ex slaves. But I did not realize that the Englishman

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who kicked off the colonization of Jamaica all the way

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back in the sixteen fifties was none other than Ireland's

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hitler Oliver Cromwell. The crom Man, one of the low

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key worst people in history who killed up to was

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responsible for up to or I will say between a.

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Speaker 1: Faties breaking your brain, you're operating very slowly a fifty.

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Speaker 2: It's early in the world and I'm on my first

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energy drink. I'm not even like a quarter the way

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through it. Between fifteen and fifty percent of the Irish

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population died or declined due to Cromwell's direct military actions,

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which included induced famines and deportations like he went into

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Ireland after the English Civil War and maybe even during

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the English Civil War. I didn't read up on that part.

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I just know that Cromwell's a mass be shit, just

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slaughtered the fucking Irish, like probably the number one villain

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in Irish history with a bullet.

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Speaker 1: We just kind of let things slide.

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Speaker 2: We deserved it, Just another day on the Cloudy Island.

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Speaker 1: We don't go out and try to conquer other lands.

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We don't even protect our own land. No, We're just like, yeah,

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I guess we kind of asked for it.

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Speaker 2: People just keep showing up vikings, English.

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Speaker 1: Wreck us every time.

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Speaker 2: Here who he cook? And just another day.

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Speaker 1: Although there's like some like alternate dumb history about Irish

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potentially meeting up with the Aztecs, that's a crossover that

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I did not expect to hear.

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Speaker 2: If you I could not pick a people less likely

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to be able to do a transatlantic crossing than the

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Irish and the Irish it's just not absolutely fucking not.

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Speaker 1: But allegedly there was like these prophecies for the Aztecs

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in Montezuma that like demigods are gonna come over from

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the East, and they think it was because and again

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this is not confirmed or even remotely plausible, but there's

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somebody out there floating the conspiracy that the Irish actually

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came across the Aztecs way before the Spanish.

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Speaker 2: No. No, and we're like the Vikings as well, what

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even Yeah, yeah, and the Albanians linked up with the

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ink An Empire. Be sure, fucking.

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Speaker 1: This is just Capcom Marvel, just mash it together.

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Speaker 2: I can. There's no world in which I can suspend

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disbelief that heart that the Irish built a boat and

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cross the Atlantic before anyone. It just didn't happen.

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Speaker 1: No, we can't build boats. I'm just saying this. I've

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heard this theory out there on the Internet and it

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just tells you how fucking dumb the internet is.

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Speaker 2: Now. It impossible ask to believe that. So Cromwell, He's

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worth doing an entire episode on just for how much

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of a massive piece of shit he is. But we're

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gonna stick to Jamaica here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's flying under the radar in history.

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, oh boy. And he, by the way, a

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low key caesar, English caesar in that he brings helps

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bring down the monarchy. In the English Civil War, Charles

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the First is executed and he becomes Lord Protector for

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life if that sounds fucking million of the realm, and

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then his son takes over after he dies, so it's

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not even like an appointed anti monarchical position, like his

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son takes over and his son is immediately so incompetent

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that the monarchy gets put back in place.

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Speaker 1: But you pop over to the Americas and you're like,

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this is this is my kingdom now.

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Speaker 2: So that's kind of what he did after Cromwell becomes

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Lord Protector in sixteen fifty three.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of what Cortez did as well. What he

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just popped over here and he's like, yeah, I know

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when I'm supposed to be representing the King of Spain

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and a couple of the richer men that are sponsoring

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this trip, but I think I'm just going to keep

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the gold for myself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not here.

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to kind of hang out here, right,

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I think this is going to be my home.

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Speaker 2: Now. I'll still send for more powder and guns and troops,

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but I think it's just mine. Yeah, why would I

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go back? It seems so daunting like kingdom. Now, I'm

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like the or just landowner of the Spanish nobility.

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Speaker 1: I just conquered this shit with like forty dudes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and they killed Aztec batman.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. I want to do an entire episode on

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Quartz because I think he both unfairly gets painted with

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a bad brush, but also maybe the other side gives

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him too much of a.

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Speaker 2: Pass, like he just gets forgotten.

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Speaker 1: No, I think Cortes is either villainized incredibly hard like

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overly villainized, or people just overcompensate and just make like

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justify everything he did. Oh yeah yeah yeah, but there's

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just no nuance on Quartez.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, like, oh he showed up and so you

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sad you had to cool them.

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Speaker 1: That baby sacrifices.

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Speaker 2: Like, first off, I will forever say that the Christian

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churches of Europe at that time were also partaking in

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human sacrifice. If you kill a witch, that's human sacrifice.

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Speaker 1: Also, like they're version of cannibalism for the Aztecs was

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like us eating communion, at least symbolically. Okay, they did

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eat human.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, look like no one's arguing for pieces religious sacrifice,

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you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can religious rituals.

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Speaker 2: You walk and chew gum. You can just say everyone

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was a piece of shit. Yeah, it's not that fucking hard, right,

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Like it's insane that that's the only way to defend

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to Like, it's stupid anyway. So Cromwell English civil wars settled.

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He's Lord Protector, he's in charge, and he's like, all right,

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let's let's do some shit. Let's get to work.

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Speaker 1: So he.

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Speaker 2: Commissions a massive fleet to set sail for the New

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World for the Caribbean to take out not Jamaica but

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Spanish Hispaniola. In sixteen fifty four, they want to take

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the Dominican Republic slash Haiti from the.

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Speaker 1: Only time anyone's ever wanted Haiti.

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Speaker 2: Well, Spain owned is the whole island. So there is

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no even Haiti yet at that point, No, no, no

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French there yet.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, where did the French get involved

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in Haiti?

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Speaker 2: After all of this this this, this is a huge

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this is This is what's crazy, is what I learned

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from this episode is a Jamaica weirdly a like lynchpin

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in world history.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's weird because everyone sets up

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shop in the Caribbean. They're just kind of like.

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Speaker 2: The conquest of Jamaica changes the game entirely for New

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World colonialization.

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Speaker 1: You're also not really going to come across too many

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native trouble on the islands.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not like on the continent itself, where there's a

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lot more of them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, I don't really know the terrain of

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mainland USA and the natives might be an issue, But

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if I go to these islands, we just kind of

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clear out shop.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you're fine, Yeah, we're good to go. So Cromwell launchpad.

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Cromwell wants to start cutting into Spanish power in the

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New World. Now the English have colonies at this point.

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We'll talk about that in a little bit, but nothing

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in the Caribbean, nothing in where basically all the gold

316
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is coming from, which is like Mexico, South America, stuff

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like that. Crama wants to cut into that. Also, this

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English Civil War had just ended, and I guess there

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00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:27,839
was just like a whole army just standing around with

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nothing to do, and generals standing around with nothing to do.

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Idle hands, idle armies. Yeah, Devil's playground. So Cromwell needed well.

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He was more worried about it being them getting restless

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and maybe him losing power. So he was like, I

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need to keep these guys occupied. They were not happy.

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They had lost their purpose, right, like the war was over.

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What we do now? Where this sweet army? Where the

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00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,440
new model army? What do we do? And Cromwell's like,

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all right, let's have them conquers and islands or something.

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Speaker 1: Gotta stay sharp, yeah, stay in training.

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Speaker 2: Yes. So the expedition had two commanders, an admiral and

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a general. The admiral was Admiral William Penn. You're welcome,

332
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father of the founder of Pennsylvania, of Billy Penn. Yeah,

333
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William Penn's father. William Penn's father is on the strip.

334
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And then General Robert Venables, who was this is what

335
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this said, So you can take this for what it means.

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Experienced officer from the Irish campaigns, what would you say? Then?

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I would say he's very good at going to an

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island and murdering everyone.

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Speaker 1: Experience yeah, there you go.

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Speaker 2: Give you our best man who's better than anyone going

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to an island and mattering people. That'll be General Robert Venables.

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All right, get him on a boat. We got a

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new island. We need to murder.

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Speaker 1: Venables as you say, yeah, any relation.

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Speaker 2: You gotta think he is the Oklahoma coaches descendant. Yeah,

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Bret Venables direct descended.

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Speaker 1: We had to connect those dots? What we had to

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connect them?

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Speaker 2: Do you have to connect those dots? Yeah. So on

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April thirteenth, sixteen fifty five, around four thousand troops land

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near Santo Domingo. They outnumbered the Spanish about like, I think,

352
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like five to one. And this Spanish situation here, I

353
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don't know if they'd gotten lazy because they really didn't

354
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have any competition, or if they had just kind of

355
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been forgotten because it's the sixteen fifties and exactly easy

356
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to get to the New World. But the Spanish outpost

357
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was grim like it was just a shithole, and the

358
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troops weren't very good, and they did a lot of

359
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supplies and stuff like that. But lucky for them, these

360
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guys were fuck These English guys were fucking incompetent and

361
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fucked up from the jump.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're you're coming over from like England, You're used

363
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to it being like sixty five degrees all year, not

364
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a lot of humidity. You come over to these mosquito

365
00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:06,400
ridden just hot.

366
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Speaker 3: Places, considering how much people traveled back then, a type

367
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,839
of heat and humidity that you've literally not only never experienced,

368
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,920
but probably couldn't even fucking fathom. We talk about this today, right,

369
00:20:20,079 --> 00:20:24,880
Like Europe there are more heat related injuries or deaths

370
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,680
than Americans with gun violence.

371
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Speaker 1: Yeah, every year if.

372
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Speaker 2: You take out suicides, if you just go homicides, it's

373
00:20:32,279 --> 00:20:34,839
not even it's like ten to one. Yeah, So many

374
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Europeans die from just heat because there's no air. In fact,

375
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,079
one of someone who's running for French president or whatever.

376
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I don't even know how this shit works, but uh,

377
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,960
they're running on an partly on an anti air conditioning platform.

378
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 1: That's that's how maw killed forty million people. That's gonna

379
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,920
be France's mao.

380
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Speaker 2: Yeah.

381
00:20:57,319 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, an unbelievab like good intentions, awful results that.

382
00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 2: I now kind of view all of Europe the way

383
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:11,240
I view Greece, which is like you're really skating by

384
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,559
on a good history.

385
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,119
Speaker 1: I can't take you seriously, Yeah, like you need to

386
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:21,000
be relegated. You see, an ice makes me so patriotic. Yeah,

387
00:21:21,799 --> 00:21:23,319
I'm like, yeah, we are the best country.

388
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,799
Speaker 2: It's not even It is to the point now when

389
00:21:25,839 --> 00:21:28,519
I read things like that where I'm like, oh, there's

390
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:36,160
no one even in America's stratosphere like I thought, England, France, Germany,

391
00:21:36,279 --> 00:21:39,519
like those places are legit, not as big, but legit.

392
00:21:40,319 --> 00:21:42,920
You read about the air conditioning stuff, and you're just like,

393
00:21:44,559 --> 00:21:47,519
does any of the world know what they're doing besides us?

394
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 1: No, it doesn't feel like cana is turning into Europe

395
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:50,839
as well.

396
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, why they're already europe light.

397
00:21:56,559 --> 00:21:59,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, but now they're finding people like twenty five thousand

398
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:03,400
dollars for going on hikes. What why in certain parts

399
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,759
of the country into it land or no, they are

400
00:22:06,839 --> 00:22:11,559
afraid of wildfires. Oh, they're like these hikers are setting

401
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,720
fires and causing the country to burn down.

402
00:22:13,839 --> 00:22:17,640
Speaker 2: Well I'm a little conflicted there because I'm pro freedom,

403
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:23,079
but I am anti hiking. So I'm just gonna see

404
00:22:23,079 --> 00:22:23,880
how that one shakes up.

405
00:22:24,799 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 1: Okay, just repress freedom.

406
00:22:26,799 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 2: Well, stupid freedoms like hiking.

407
00:22:29,839 --> 00:22:34,759
Speaker 1: Hiking's awesome hiking. I'm spending by my holiday coming up

408
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:35,559
going hiking.

409
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,319
Speaker 2: Yeah. You can crow about your mistakes all day here

410
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,279
if you want. Sounds terrible.

411
00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:42,039
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have fun.

412
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 2: That's glad. I'm happy for you. You look the way

413
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,519
you look because you hate hiking. Yeah, hiking blows, so

414
00:22:49,559 --> 00:22:51,480
you're pale. I'm happy to go on a walk.

415
00:22:51,519 --> 00:22:52,279
Speaker 1: You're out of shape.

416
00:22:52,319 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 2: Happy to go on a walk. I don't want to hike.

417
00:22:55,799 --> 00:22:58,279
Speaker 1: It's the same thing. It's not nature walk.

418
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,799
Speaker 2: It's not because if I go on a walk, if

419
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:02,319
I like to walk through like a city or something,

420
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,039
you know, like, it's pop in and get a coffee,

421
00:23:04,559 --> 00:23:07,359
keep walking, stop literally wherever I want to get a

422
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:12,200
bite to eat. Hike. Let's just go live like our ancestors.

423
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:12,920
Sounds terrible.

424
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Speaker 1: I like the element of danger.

425
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope a mountain lion pops out. Now you don't,

426
00:23:21,279 --> 00:23:21,720
don't die.

427
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be able to do the show.

428
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 2: Fight away.

429
00:23:24,079 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 1: Just go on YouTube, figure it out, turn the cameras on. Try.

430
00:23:28,319 --> 00:23:31,079
Speaker 2: YouTube will tell me how. No YouTube will tell me.

431
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,240
Speaker 1: You still won't figure it out.

432
00:23:32,279 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 2: It's fine. YouTube will tell me. There are more successful

433
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,240
podcasts with far lower production quality.

434
00:23:39,759 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 1: Ain't that the truth?

435
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 2: So the English troops landed thirty miles off course from

436
00:23:49,279 --> 00:23:54,640
Santo Domingo still decided to get off their boats immediately

437
00:23:55,039 --> 00:23:57,640
in all the stuff you mentioned. Their armor, their big

438
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:03,039
fluffy pants, every their wool clothes immediately get lost in

439
00:24:03,079 --> 00:24:10,200
the jungle. And then it starts dumping rain so hard

440
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,400
that all of their gunpowder gets soaked.

441
00:24:13,079 --> 00:24:17,599
Speaker 1: Through because you're getting stuck in the mud. Yeah, oh,

442
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:22,279
it's just you're all kitted up. I can't think of

443
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,079
like a worse time with the boys.

444
00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 2: No, it's a bad hike. It's a bad hike.

445
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 1: It's a bad hike.

446
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:34,759
Speaker 2: The assault they eventually do assault Santa Domingo in Hispaniola,

447
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,599
it goes about as badly as it could go. Like

448
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,440
I said, they had five thousand troops. Spanish have about

449
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:46,200
a thousand. The English suffer a thousand casualties.

450
00:24:46,559 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 1: Spanish are good with smaller numbers.

451
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,599
Speaker 2: They are. They're inefficient people.

452
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, they crush. So the English cortest took down ten

453
00:24:54,599 --> 00:24:56,240
thousand people, twenty thousand people.

454
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Speaker 2: I mean he had a native army behind him too.

455
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there were some battles where he had five

456
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,319
hundred yeah, yeah, yeah, And just crush them.

457
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, guns are crazy like that.

458
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:06,279
Speaker 1: Canons.

459
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 2: We did also we did episodes. I don't know if

460
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,920
it was on Cortez, but we did episode about how

461
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:14,240
like a lot of the battles. At first, the Indians

462
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,920
were kind of it's crazy that steel can beat stick. Yeah,

463
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:20,960
steel greater than stone. But the Indians were also like

464
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,799
completely caught off guard obviously by what the fuck even

465
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,920
a gun or cannon was, and even more so that

466
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,920
they thought, uh, any Spaniard on a horse was a centaur.

467
00:25:30,799 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. A lot of what Cortes did initially was just

468
00:25:34,519 --> 00:25:38,400
show the amount of power he had. He would just

469
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,680
be like, hey, he wouldn't actually hurt the natives, he

470
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,960
would just show them. He'd be like, hey, blast this

471
00:25:44,079 --> 00:25:50,759
cannon into their sacred tree, and you're like holy shit, Like, uh,

472
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,119
it must be a god.

473
00:25:52,839 --> 00:25:55,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think he's a god because he did

474
00:25:55,599 --> 00:25:57,400
that to the other gods thing, and the other god

475
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:58,319
hasn't done anything back.

476
00:25:58,359 --> 00:25:59,599
Speaker 1: And they had never seen horses.

477
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 2: They hadn't know the horse is scared the absolute fight.

478
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,440
It was the same way with like the elephants and

479
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:04,720
the romans. Uh.

480
00:26:04,759 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 1: He would also get the biggest stud horse and uh,

481
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,839
like a mare, and he would have the the just

482
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,519
stud horse fuck the ship out of the mare in

483
00:26:15,559 --> 00:26:19,519
front of the Indians, and then they would be kind

484
00:26:19,519 --> 00:26:23,400
of terrified of that, and then cortesould just whispering to

485
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,319
the horse and it would stop. He's like, oh shit,

486
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,599
he has so much control, controls.

487
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:32,079
Speaker 2: These horrifying beasts. So the English get absolutely wiped. They

488
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:36,559
have to withdraw. Tensions between Pen and Venables get really bad.

489
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,799
Uh they are. They're they're just arguing with each other

490
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,319
fucking constantly, like they don't like each other. They're trying

491
00:26:44,319 --> 00:26:47,960
to blame each other for who fucked up. Venables eventually

492
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,160
is like this went as bad as it could go,

493
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,359
and we have a psychotic dictator back home that we

494
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,640
have to answer to. Let's try to salvage this trip

495
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:57,960
a little bit.

496
00:26:58,720 --> 00:26:59,640
Speaker 1: Gotta find something.

497
00:26:59,759 --> 00:27:02,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. So he's like, I'm pretty sure there's like eight

498
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:07,000
guys in Jamaica, like eight Spanish guys in jama We

499
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:07,720
can go get Jamaica.

500
00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 1: Let's just take it.

501
00:27:08,559 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Venables was also like paranoid that Penn was

502
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,720
going to fuck him over and just like leave him

503
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,480
and sail back to England. So that's another reason always

504
00:27:21,519 --> 00:27:24,839
ran that risk. Yeah, that's that's another reason he wanted

505
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,039
to do the Jamaica campaign, just to like keep Penn

506
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,880
occupied here. So on May nineteenth, sixteen fifty five, the

507
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:35,359
English fleet, now with thirty ships and seven thousand troops. Uh,

508
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:40,119
they get to Jamaica and uh, the Spanish resistance is

509
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,160
like the English still fuck up, like they don't read

510
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,799
the water right and several of their big ships run aground.

511
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: We're stuck.

512
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, like it it. It was another kind of shit show.

513
00:27:49,839 --> 00:27:51,839
But there was just not enough Spanish to do anything

514
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:57,359
about it. So the governor of Jamaica, Governor Ramirez, they

515
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,240
were horribly outnumbered. He was sick.

516
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:02,759
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't even want to defend them.

517
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,839
Speaker 2: Right, So he surrenders six days later and agrees to

518
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,839
evacuate the Spanish civilians within two weeks. Ramirez dies on

519
00:28:10,839 --> 00:28:14,480
the way to Mexico, but not all the Spanish surrender.

520
00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:16,799
A lot of them retreat to the hills. By the way.

521
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,880
Ramirez as soon as he sees the British show up,

522
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,200
this out numbered they are, He's like, oh, fuck.

523
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 1: Did not think anyone would even want.

524
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 2: This, right, right, He's like, god damn it. So his

525
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,240
first thing is He's like, we don't have anybody here.

526
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,640
So they immediately free all the slaves and give them

527
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:40,519
weapons and are like, let's kill the British. A fair

528
00:28:40,519 --> 00:28:42,480
amount of the slaves or like peace and just run

529
00:28:42,519 --> 00:28:47,319
off unsurprisingly, but a lot of others do join, do

530
00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:50,279
join the Spanish and anyway, they surrender six days later,

531
00:28:50,319 --> 00:28:52,160
so a lot of them, the freed slaves and the

532
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:56,359
Spanish who didn't want to surrender, including Francisco da Parenza,

533
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,079
they just go up into the hills and they start

534
00:28:59,119 --> 00:29:04,480
a guerrilla war against pen Invenables and all of their troops.

535
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:14,480
This also goes horrifically for the English.

536
00:29:14,559 --> 00:29:18,359
Speaker 1: All of these people, these are hard motherfuckers working on

537
00:29:18,519 --> 00:29:19,799
like sugar plantations.

538
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,039
Speaker 2: Not yet there are no I don't think there's sugar

539
00:29:22,039 --> 00:29:22,720
plantations yet.

540
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: Okay, well these are still hard mother they're still hard motherfuckers.

541
00:29:25,319 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. So the Spanish who don't surrender go off into

542
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,440
the hills. They start a gorilla campaign. Pen Invenables set

543
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,680
up shop in Jamaica and they're like, we've done it,

544
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:43,680
We've conquered something, hooray, but the island must take its payment,

545
00:29:45,319 --> 00:29:50,039
because again, these are pasty never left England or Ireland.

546
00:29:50,039 --> 00:29:53,559
Motherfuckers in a tropical climate for the first time in

547
00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:54,039
their lives.

548
00:29:54,039 --> 00:29:55,599
Speaker 1: They came across a smoke monster.

549
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 2: They honestly, I think a smoke monster is baasically it's

550
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:08,039
basically a symbolic of dysentery. Cause you better believe, as

551
00:30:08,039 --> 00:30:11,119
soon as these guys started hanging out in Jamaica, they

552
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:16,400
all got diarrhea, so fruit based diet, they could not

553
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:23,119
stop crapping their pantaloons. The disease and the gorilla war

554
00:30:24,119 --> 00:30:27,960
get so bad. And starvation too, by the way, because

555
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,000
they like they didn't have enough supplies and the gorillas

556
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:35,759
made sure that they weren't going to eat. Only about

557
00:30:35,759 --> 00:30:39,599
twenty five hundred of the original seven thousand troops survived.

558
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,119
Speaker 1: The first year on coconut milk colone.

559
00:30:42,559 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 2: It's fucking bad. So they do get Jamaica, though they

560
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:56,960
do cling on some fucking how to Jamaica.

561
00:30:57,519 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: Do they sign like a treaty with these gorillas.

562
00:30:59,759 --> 00:31:03,519
Speaker 2: No, they're just eventually murder everyone. I mean, they wear

563
00:31:03,559 --> 00:31:05,799
them down, but they like the gorillas take their toll,

564
00:31:05,799 --> 00:31:07,640
but they're not gonna win, like they don't. They don't

565
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,680
have the ability.

566
00:31:09,359 --> 00:31:14,359
Speaker 1: Just the manpower, the resources. Yeah, so once Penn, are

567
00:31:14,359 --> 00:31:16,799
they still kind of terroraced on the island where they

568
00:31:16,839 --> 00:31:19,160
just kind of hit the British wherever they can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

569
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,160
they're kind of going so the British like get control

570
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,279
of the island, but it's just constant nuisance.

571
00:31:24,359 --> 00:31:28,599
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Penn is like, okay, cool, I think we

572
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:33,119
have at least the main town in the island lockdown.

573
00:31:33,759 --> 00:31:36,119
I'm going back to England and he just fucking bolts

574
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:40,200
the Venables was right. Penn wanted to go back. Penn

575
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,720
wants to go back because again, they have a psychotic,

576
00:31:43,799 --> 00:31:47,440
murderous dictator back home, and Penn would really like to

577
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,079
tell his side of the story first as to why

578
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,400
they don't control Hispaniola, why they took this dog shit

579
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,880
little island that no one cared about, and why most

580
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,960
of their dudes were dead.

581
00:32:00,279 --> 00:32:06,279
Speaker 1: We must work because obviously his son gets paid the

582
00:32:06,279 --> 00:32:09,480
great State of Pennsylvania. We'll get there, We'll get to it.

583
00:32:10,319 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 2: Venables would have liked to race back as well, but

584
00:32:13,119 --> 00:32:16,599
at the time Penn left, he was basically a living

585
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,960
skeleton from all his diarrhea. M h.

586
00:32:19,759 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 1: I mean, think about that fucking cross atlantic trip as well.

587
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,279
Speaker 2: Back He's not surviving on a boat. He's got to

588
00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:28,480
wait till he's in better health, so he's just got

589
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:32,839
to sit there. Eventually, Venables does get back as well.

590
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,039
Speaker 1: And they're little down in Jamaica there, like chickens here

591
00:32:36,039 --> 00:32:36,559
and there.

592
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,319
Speaker 2: I don't eat pigs. Yeah, probably some pigs and chickens,

593
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:44,920
but like don't enough to support you know, seven eight

594
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:49,519
thousand people. They fishing, you would drink, probably trying to

595
00:32:49,519 --> 00:32:52,079
fish and stuff like that. It's just not enough. They're

596
00:32:52,079 --> 00:32:52,920
not getting enough food.

597
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: There's super lean.

598
00:32:54,799 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 2: The farming's probably not very set up.

599
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: They're probably like, look how cut we are.

600
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's there's got to be a few days like

601
00:33:03,039 --> 00:33:04,920
I look where you're like, dude, I mean I know

602
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,160
I'm sick, but like what what what? What?

603
00:33:09,359 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: See these apps?

604
00:33:10,279 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 2: What? It's all six right there?

605
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: No women though, yeah, well yeah that's probable.

606
00:33:18,559 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 2: I mean there's Native women. I guess you could kidnap

607
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:25,839
and Native ish. I mean there's still natives on the

608
00:33:25,839 --> 00:33:27,319
island at the time of Jamaica.

609
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, very limited.

610
00:33:31,039 --> 00:33:33,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, no lot, but there's some, there's someone. I'm sure

611
00:33:33,799 --> 00:33:35,559
It's not an island of only dudes.

612
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:38,599
Speaker 1: Just dude island.

613
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:42,559
Speaker 2: Dude, dude, island, so eventually Venables is able to make

614
00:33:42,559 --> 00:33:44,240
it back and they both tell their side of the

615
00:33:44,319 --> 00:33:48,000
story to Cromwell about why they didn't take the island

616
00:33:48,039 --> 00:33:50,240
he told them to take, but they got this other

617
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:55,480
island that's totally cool too, And Cromwell's like, you both

618
00:33:55,519 --> 00:33:58,359
abandon your posts, you pieces of shit, and he throws

619
00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,640
them in the Tower of London.

620
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,759
Speaker 1: Places I don't want to go in that time, And uh,

621
00:34:02,839 --> 00:34:07,319
I believe the Tower of London is one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

622
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,719
part of the interruption, but it is damn with an

623
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:14,440
ad read what that's crazy? I know, sitting in my

624
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,920
house in the dark. We didn't get to record this

625
00:34:17,039 --> 00:34:20,760
at the studio. No longer welcome to the studio, so

626
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,920
gotta do what y gotta do. We're still trying to

627
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,360
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Speaker 2: Now, this whole campaign again was part of Cromwell's what

675
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:07,320
was called the Western Design, and what was going on

676
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,800
at the time, like I said, was Cromwell wanted to

677
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,480
cut into Spanish power. At first, people were like this

678
00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:17,639
is stupid, Like imagine it's almost like like they're like,

679
00:38:17,639 --> 00:38:18,840
you want to go off to the Spanish. We're not

680
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,000
even fighting them anymore. It's kind of like if you know,

681
00:38:22,039 --> 00:38:23,800
like you keep calling the Russians your enemy, and then

682
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,320
other people like what Cold War's over? Dipshit, that was

683
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,519
like one hundred years ago. Who cares?

684
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:33,119
Speaker 1: I remember all our enemies in England. Yeah, I will

685
00:38:33,119 --> 00:38:41,079
not fuck with England, Japan, Germany, Germany, Russia, Italy, Vietnam,

686
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:46,239
France because of getting US into Vietnam. Honestly, useless assholes

687
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:50,760
France is the reason Vietnam happened. Like that's they don't

688
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:51,599
get enough hate for that.

689
00:38:51,679 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 2: They really don't. They really really don't couldn't handle their

690
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,239
own shit. It's funny that people are like, well, really,

691
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:02,519
just France lost World War Two like they incompetent ever since.

692
00:39:04,679 --> 00:39:07,440
So one of the big things Cromwell wanted to do,

693
00:39:07,599 --> 00:39:11,960
aside from cut into Spanish power was up until this point,

694
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:17,400
English colonialism was really a private endeavor. Like with the Spanish,

695
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,519
they went on behalf of the crown, right like they

696
00:39:19,559 --> 00:39:22,800
went they took things for the crown. With the English

697
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,159
like Jamestown and stuff like that. It was all private, like,

698
00:39:25,199 --> 00:39:28,559
it wasn't really government funded people. People could would fly

699
00:39:28,639 --> 00:39:30,960
the flag and be like I've claimed this for the

700
00:39:31,039 --> 00:39:32,320
queen or whatever, but really.

701
00:39:32,159 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the private companies in England, like the East

702
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:39,800
India Company, they were nations themselves. Yeah, but it wasn't

703
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,679
even the resources military.

704
00:39:42,079 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 2: It wasn't even East India setting up these things. These

705
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,639
were like guys like these are like sub sects of them. Yeah,

706
00:39:48,679 --> 00:39:50,719
but these are like guys trying to like get a

707
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,360
cool investment and like get rich. This is like this

708
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,840
is like your tech get rich quick situation, right, is

709
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,880
setting up a colony in the New World. Yeah, I mean,

710
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,880
the the East India Company is the one that popped off,

711
00:40:02,079 --> 00:40:04,280
but they weren't really in the Americas.

712
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,639
Speaker 1: Sure, But what I'm kind of alluding this to is like,

713
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,079
all right, say your startup Apple was a start up

714
00:40:11,119 --> 00:40:13,039
at one point, yeah, popped off and then yeah, you're

715
00:40:13,039 --> 00:40:16,480
gonna have all these like little tiny there's a tech bubble.

716
00:40:16,559 --> 00:40:18,480
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, there was a colony, Bob, there

717
00:40:18,519 --> 00:40:19,320
was a colony bubble.

718
00:40:19,599 --> 00:40:23,320
Speaker 2: So that's how it used to be. But with Cromwell's plan,

719
00:40:23,519 --> 00:40:27,000
he was like, we're taking it. The government is going

720
00:40:27,199 --> 00:40:29,400
to do this, and that's why he poured all these

721
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:34,480
resources into this ill fated campaign or whatever. And Cromwell

722
00:40:34,559 --> 00:40:38,360
also wanted to do what the Spanish were doing, because

723
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:39,840
with the English it was like, Okay, we're gonna set

724
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,119
up a colony and build it and you know, try

725
00:40:42,119 --> 00:40:44,199
to like grow stuff and so whatever, whatever it'll be,

726
00:40:44,559 --> 00:40:46,239
it'll be a trading post and all this stuff. The

727
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,519
Spanish just going in, I mean like you're a slave,

728
00:40:48,599 --> 00:40:51,960
now get all the gold out of the ground. Cromwell

729
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:56,960
wanted to extract resources. He wanted to go Spanish style.

730
00:40:58,440 --> 00:40:59,679
Speaker 1: Resource rich environment.

731
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 2: Yeah. Him doing this and him federalizing is not the

732
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,000
right word, but just like putting in under state control

733
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:15,400
completely altered the colonial situation and the international situation going forward.

734
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:19,880
At the time, the Spanish habsburgs. They claimed all of

735
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,840
America from the Straight of Magellan in South America all

736
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,960
the way up to the Arctic, like that is all ours,

737
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:29,360
but except for Portuguese Brazil. But they didn't really have

738
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:33,000
the resources to go up to Jamestown and be like,

739
00:41:33,039 --> 00:41:36,039
get the fuck out, and they didn't care. They thought

740
00:41:36,039 --> 00:41:37,519
everything north of Florida was worthless.

741
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:42,199
Speaker 1: They were kind of right, Florida is the perfect spot.

742
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:45,400
I will not argue with the Spanish there.

743
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 2: So they were like, God, damn it, they're made a

744
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:53,639
colony in fucking mass of Watson. Okay, we'll get them

745
00:41:53,639 --> 00:41:55,920
when we can. I guess, I don't know. There's no

746
00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,280
gold there, so who cares this according to the space Honestly,

747
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,880
settlements were legal, but they couldn't do anything right. So

748
00:42:03,599 --> 00:42:07,719
once the English take Jamaica, it becomes a full out war.

749
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:12,199
The Spanish Anglo War of the mid sixteen fifties breaks

750
00:42:12,199 --> 00:42:16,199
out entirely because of the English taking Jamaica, so Cromwell

751
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,280
kind of gets the war he wanted again also to

752
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:23,400
keep his dudes occupied. It goes on in the Caribbean

753
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:26,400
until the sixteen seventies, stops in Europe in the sixteen

754
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:30,440
fifties with the Treaty of Madrid. The Treaty of Madrid,

755
00:42:30,679 --> 00:42:35,199
because the Spanish law kind of lost the war Spain

756
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,639
finally acknowledges that not only is Jamaica England's, but anything

757
00:42:38,639 --> 00:42:43,039
they've claimed before that Plymouth, Jamestown, whatever, that's all English now.

758
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,440
So they've given up. They have given up their claim

759
00:42:47,639 --> 00:42:49,400
on the entire Western hemisphere.

760
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,599
Speaker 1: Man, he can't fight that war where it's navy heavy.

761
00:42:54,679 --> 00:42:56,840
You know, the British are going to roll you if

762
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,079
you're not the Portuguese pretty much.

763
00:42:59,119 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 2: I mean, the Spanish had good, good navies, but the

764
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:02,320
British always.

765
00:43:02,079 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: And no one's just no one's talking about the Spanish navy. Yeah,

766
00:43:07,119 --> 00:43:07,639
no one's ever.

767
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,760
Speaker 2: Just the Armada, that's it. And what the Armada do

768
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:10,280
took an.

769
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 1: L always, yeah, they they are noted for taking ol.

770
00:43:13,679 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 2: Yeah it was big, but they took a fucking L.

771
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,400
So now that Spain is like fine, God damn it,

772
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:24,320
we don't control the whole Western hemisphere. France is like,

773
00:43:25,079 --> 00:43:25,960
oh really.

774
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's our Q Yeah, oh yeah, that's France's music Barca.

775
00:43:34,519 --> 00:43:37,159
Speaker 2: So France is like, come some dirty, dirty traps. France

776
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,400
is like, we're getting in this ship. They go into Canada,

777
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,199
they get in. They also go into the Caribbean and

778
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:47,119
they take half of Hispaniola Haiti, which becomes Haiti probably

779
00:43:47,159 --> 00:43:49,239
the worst thing that could have happened to that island.

780
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:52,039
Speaker 1: Well, the best thing for America that they eventually when

781
00:43:52,119 --> 00:43:55,840
Napoleon comes to power and sees how big of a

782
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,440
liability and piece of shit, uh, investment for Haiti is

783
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,400
for the French, and it's up just kind of selling

784
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,519
everything in the Western hemisphere to us.

785
00:44:04,639 --> 00:44:07,119
Speaker 2: He's like, these ass Thatt's are dog shit. We got

786
00:44:07,159 --> 00:44:10,679
nothing here and I need money for his war.

787
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: So he's like, yeah, here, uh, Louisiana, purchase where do

788
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:14,400
I sign?

789
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,639
Speaker 2: Take it? Take it TJ. You're good. That's true.

790
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 1: There's like this just trickle down effect from Haiti.

791
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:26,519
Speaker 2: So this treaty rips open the door because now it's

792
00:44:26,519 --> 00:44:28,800
no longer just oh, we'll send a few people. And

793
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,719
he has, like, I don't know, skin some beavers and

794
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,679
grow some tobacco. Now it's now the game is on.

795
00:44:35,559 --> 00:44:36,880
Everyone is ready to rip.

796
00:44:37,079 --> 00:44:39,679
Speaker 1: Why did the Portuguese not really kind of fuck around

797
00:44:39,679 --> 00:44:41,159
with North America?

798
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,679
Speaker 2: No one thought anything north of Florida was worth a shit,

799
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,840
Like all the gold and everything that was that was

800
00:44:49,119 --> 00:44:52,119
getting found in South and Central America, so that's where

801
00:44:52,159 --> 00:44:55,480
they went. Yeah, North America was like all right, yeah,

802
00:44:55,519 --> 00:44:58,400
there's like beavers and tobacco or whatever.

803
00:44:58,519 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: But for Portugal it's like, right, yeah.

804
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 2: It's a straight line. They thought, not wrongly, I guess.

805
00:45:06,199 --> 00:45:08,440
I guess the best way to put it is the

806
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:12,119
Central and South America had the most like immediately available

807
00:45:12,159 --> 00:45:16,159
resources that required the least amount of cultivation, you know

808
00:45:16,199 --> 00:45:18,800
what I mean, there was there was no there was

809
00:45:19,079 --> 00:45:21,880
far less of a time investment required. You don't have

810
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,679
to grow anything, you have to build. Like obviously, the

811
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:30,840
contiguous United States became the most valuable slice of land

812
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,440
in the entire Western hemisphere.

813
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,559
Speaker 1: But at the time, it feels like it just kind

814
00:45:35,599 --> 00:45:37,239
of proves how useless Canada is.

815
00:45:40,039 --> 00:45:42,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I grew up. I mean they got a lot

816
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,480
of oil which was of no use to them.

817
00:45:44,559 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 1: That no use that they didn't even know what that was.

818
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:48,679
Speaker 2: Really well, the one thing Canada had that would have

819
00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:52,440
been of immediate use to to everyone was gold, but

820
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:56,559
that's I think really remote, like really on the other side.

821
00:45:57,519 --> 00:46:00,400
But timber would have been the one like immediate.

822
00:46:01,679 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 1: I believe that's what all the Icelandic Viking settlements went

823
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,840
to Canada for. We gotta find They're like, we need

824
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:09,719
fucking tree.

825
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 2: We gotta find a tree man. This boat is broken

826
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,760
and we cannot use moss to patch it up. It's

827
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,800
just not gonna work heat a real tree, God damn it.

828
00:46:24,159 --> 00:46:29,280
The acquisition of Jamaica also had a really funny effect

829
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:35,280
on on the English It essentially because they do eventually

830
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,880
turn it into a giant sugar plantation m h. It

831
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:43,480
becomes one of their most profitable colonies. Off sugar alone

832
00:46:44,119 --> 00:46:49,400
completely changes the European diet, which is the European diet

833
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,639
and the British diet in particular, which is now extremely

834
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:55,239
sugar heavy. After they get Jamaica, bucking.

835
00:46:55,519 --> 00:46:58,039
Speaker 1: That tea tastes so much better, The tea taste better,

836
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:03,000
Their teeth go to absolute dog shit, start getting fat.

837
00:47:03,519 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, gotta assume it up to the alcoholism as well,

838
00:47:09,639 --> 00:47:16,880
making rum and stuff like that molasses. Yeah. This, like

839
00:47:17,159 --> 00:47:21,519
the taking of Jamaica accidentally completely fucked up the English diet,

840
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,000
like just made them wildly unhealthier. It was it was

841
00:47:25,039 --> 00:47:28,880
also their primary slave island.

842
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 1: Like, finally some British food with taste.

843
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:35,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what, I haven't tasted anything before. Food was

844
00:47:35,679 --> 00:47:38,440
just something you put in your mouth and then so

845
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:39,519
you won't die, not much.

846
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,320
Speaker 1: Make a little porridge in your cottage.

847
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 2: Finally their food sugar in there, flavor to it. But

848
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:51,519
if the English.

849
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 1: Little sweet snack did.

850
00:47:53,159 --> 00:47:58,119
Speaker 2: Not take Jamaica, if Cromwell wasn't like, I want to

851
00:47:58,159 --> 00:48:00,760
do this, I want to be I wantonialism to be

852
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,599
state run. I want the state to start extracting resources.

853
00:48:03,679 --> 00:48:07,239
If he hadn't changed it up from essentially I don't know,

854
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:13,000
North America being some weird like Silicon Valley situation for entrepreneurs.

855
00:48:14,519 --> 00:48:19,199
The English probably do not set up the thirteen colonies

856
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:26,280
as we know them. Colonialism as it played out probably

857
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:32,519
doesn't play out that way. Cromwell and this dogshit expedition

858
00:48:32,599 --> 00:48:37,679
that took Jamaica just because they had nothing else to

859
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:43,719
take completely changes the course of just world history in general,

860
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:47,760
but certainly American history as well. Now, speaking of American history.

861
00:48:47,639 --> 00:48:48,679
Speaker 1: What happens to Bill Penn?

862
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,679
Speaker 2: Bill Penn Senior is eventually let out of the Tower

863
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:58,119
of London and he has his reputation restored. I think

864
00:48:58,119 --> 00:49:02,159
after Cromwell's like, Okay, Jamaica is not so bad. We

865
00:49:02,159 --> 00:49:03,400
could work. We could work with Jamaica.

866
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:08,639
Speaker 1: He's like looking at the numbers oh all right, yeah,

867
00:49:09,039 --> 00:49:11,199
I guess it's not a fucking useless rock.

868
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, not bad boys, good job, sorry about that. And

869
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:17,920
obviously then he you know, his son goes on to

870
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:23,360
found oh pa, there go birds.

871
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 1: Go birds best state in the Union other than Florida,

872
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:28,880
of course.

873
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, that is I I had no idea

874
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,599
that the conquest of Jamaica was under sort of Oliver

875
00:49:36,039 --> 00:49:39,599
Oliver Cromwell's command. I did not.

876
00:49:39,519 --> 00:49:40,599
Speaker 1: Realize much sense though.

877
00:49:40,679 --> 00:49:44,119
Speaker 2: I did not realize how much Cromwell affected.

878
00:49:43,679 --> 00:49:46,760
Speaker 1: English influence, just the Western hemisphere in general.

879
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really thought his influence.

880
00:49:50,079 --> 00:49:52,559
Speaker 1: Uh it was just murdering Irishman.

881
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 2: Was yeah, contained to the islands, and yeah, this is

882
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:01,599
how this is how piracy starts upon yes, yeah, yeah,

883
00:50:01,639 --> 00:50:04,280
you don't have Pirates of the Caribbean without literally without this.

884
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:06,840
And actually, speaking of Pirates of the Caribbean, one of

885
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:10,320
the first islands the French take when they're like, oh oh,

886
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:16,559
we're all good to go was Tortuga, the famed Pirates

887
00:50:16,559 --> 00:50:18,000
of the Caribbean islands.

888
00:50:18,079 --> 00:50:18,760
Speaker 1: Pirate island.

889
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:22,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, that is the story of how Jamaica.

890
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:24,639
Speaker 1: What a time to be a live back then, of all.

891
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:30,599
Speaker 2: Places, completely changed the course of history for the world

892
00:50:30,639 --> 00:50:31,719
and the Western hemisphere in.

893
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:35,400
Speaker 1: Particular, just because they needed something to go back with.

894
00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 2: They had to save face and get something.

895
00:50:40,119 --> 00:50:43,280
Speaker 1: It's almost like you go on a trip. You don't

896
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,880
really buy a ton of souvenirs, but you're at the

897
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,880
airport and you forgot to get some of your You're like,

898
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,719
I needed to get something for my mom, I need

899
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:56,039
to get something for my brother, and you just come

900
00:50:56,119 --> 00:50:59,880
back with like a little trinket from the airport gift shop.

901
00:51:00,119 --> 00:51:03,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, it turns out to be a one on a

902
00:51:03,679 --> 00:51:10,199
million beanie baby, but everyone gets rich and then your

903
00:51:10,199 --> 00:51:14,440
whole family murders each other over it. Yeah, but yeah,

904
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:15,639
that's the sort. What'd you learn today?

905
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:18,159
Speaker 1: Not really anything.

906
00:51:19,519 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 2: You didn't know any of this.

907
00:51:21,079 --> 00:51:21,800
Speaker 1: I kind of did.

908
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 2: What did you know?

909
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:28,360
Speaker 1: Maybe not Cromwell, but I knew I knew a lot.

910
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,719
I know a lot about uh Caribbean history. Okay, And

911
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:35,880
just like that era, I'm very that's kind of my wheelhouse.

912
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,920
You walk to it. No, No, I just I love colonialism.

913
00:51:40,039 --> 00:51:44,920
It's an interesting topic because it's just you trying to

914
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:46,599
set a name for yourself.

915
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 2: And the whole pitch is you want to get really rich,

916
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:52,159
you want to be king because you're not gonna of

917
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:54,559
a new spot. Look look around at your life here

918
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:58,199
in the old world sucks. You're not going to you

919
00:51:58,199 --> 00:52:02,239
got a you have a concrete sea. You're not getting

920
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:02,599
in that.

921
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:05,960
Speaker 1: I just liked that there were lands to be conquered.

922
00:52:06,119 --> 00:52:07,559
There's no more lands to be conquered.

923
00:52:08,199 --> 00:52:12,840
Speaker 2: Are you weeping? No? Well, look we're building a reactor

924
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:14,880
on the moon. Make a moon colony.

925
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:18,760
Speaker 1: I'm not really a space guy. I'd rather go under water.

926
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:24,239
Oh pass, Those are just my Portuguese roots right there.

927
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:30,320
Speaker 2: If I had to choose between sea base or moon base,

928
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:31,599
I'm going moon base every time.

929
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 1: What about like Antarctica base.

930
00:52:34,159 --> 00:52:36,239
Speaker 2: I would take Antartica base over both of those for sure,

931
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:41,320
because I would prefer to be on Earth like Antarctica.

932
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:44,519
The most remote part of Antarctica is safer than the Moon.

933
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:49,079
So yeah, yeah, I take Antarctica.

934
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 1: I would definitely choose, like an ocean based colony, underwater

935
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,079
and go under water, but then maybe build up to

936
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,000
make your own man made island island.

937
00:53:01,119 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, set up, just go underwater, put a nuke

938
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:08,960
in an underwater volcano, New Island.

939
00:53:08,639 --> 00:53:09,199
Speaker 1: New Island.

940
00:53:10,159 --> 00:53:11,239
Speaker 2: I dot more people do this.

941
00:53:13,679 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 1: I mean we're just laying the plans out for him.

942
00:53:15,519 --> 00:53:19,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone else, somebody else think we're the da Vinci's here.

943
00:53:19,079 --> 00:53:23,079
We're just throwing them pictures. We're not idea. Yes, we're never.

944
00:53:23,039 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 1: Gonna I've always been an idea guy. You not so much.

945
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:32,679
You're more of a fantasy and innovator squasher.

946
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 2: I the way you are describing yourself and projecting it

947
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,039
onto me, no is I outrageous?

948
00:53:43,119 --> 00:53:46,239
Speaker 1: Believe in magic? You don't?

949
00:53:48,119 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 2: Just not true. Who's today's hitler?

950
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 1: I'd imagine a lot of people would consider Cromwell's probably

951
00:53:55,199 --> 00:53:58,039
the hitler of this episode, since he's responsible for so

952
00:53:58,039 --> 00:53:58,599
many deaths.

953
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:02,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he doesn't. I mean, he doesn't really have

954
00:54:02,159 --> 00:54:05,079
a direct role in this other than telling them to

955
00:54:05,119 --> 00:54:09,119
do it. I kind of think the two commanders.

956
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:15,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say Venables Venables Brent for being wildly underachieve

957
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:16,719
in at Oklahoma.

958
00:54:17,159 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 2: Well his runs in the family, I guess, so.

959
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Venables have just had a long string of

960
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:24,920
just l's.

961
00:54:25,119 --> 00:54:29,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a genetic for them, just can't get it together,

962
00:54:30,159 --> 00:54:34,320
and then they try to act like it was okay. Yeah,

963
00:54:34,679 --> 00:54:35,199
not Penn.

964
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 1: I would never disgrace the name of William Penn.

965
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, you had a sports curse from it for a while.

966
00:54:42,519 --> 00:54:44,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he's not on it. It's his son, but

967
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:46,800
same thing, same thing.

968
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever, Yeah, that was that was the longest time

969
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:50,559
Philly curs.

970
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:53,119
Speaker 1: At Billy Penn. Yeah, we built a skyscraper that was

971
00:54:53,119 --> 00:54:54,119
taller than the city.

972
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:57,679
Speaker 2: Hall and you didn't win for how many years? Until eight?

973
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,840
Speaker 1: Right? Yeah, we kicked the door down with the phil.

974
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 2: But what was it?

975
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: Was it?

976
00:55:01,519 --> 00:55:02,599
Speaker 2: Eighty one to eight?

977
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 1: Six Ers and eighty two? Did the eighty one or

978
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:09,119
ready two? Okay? Oh the Sixers one after the Phillies

979
00:55:09,159 --> 00:55:12,079
did Phillies also won an eighty oh.

980
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:13,599
Speaker 2: Then that was the one that won was eighty Okay,

981
00:55:13,639 --> 00:55:15,920
Well they didn't win in eighty one then because you only.

982
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:19,280
Speaker 1: Have two World Series eighty and two thousand and eight. Yeah,

983
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,480
but yeah, the Sixers one most malone.

984
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:26,599
Speaker 2: Okay, it's either I don't care about NBA history at all,

985
00:55:26,639 --> 00:55:30,679
that's fine, yeah, but I get it the only I mean,

986
00:55:30,679 --> 00:55:33,320
I ride for the Saint Louis Hawks for sure, but

987
00:55:35,039 --> 00:55:38,760
you know what about the battle Hawks. No, every time

988
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:41,400
I see it, one of my friends posting, like, dude,

989
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:45,599
battle Hawks Eason cover it up. I'm just like you,

990
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:48,239
fucking loser. You don't care about that.

991
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,079
Speaker 1: Shut up, just shut up.

992
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:53,639
Speaker 2: I hate you. Just shut up. There's no way you

993
00:55:53,840 --> 00:56:00,320
like that. There's no fucking way. Yeah, I've fuck the

994
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,400
battle Hawks. I don't give a flying fuck about the

995
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,679
battle Hawks. But yeah, that's all we got for today.

996
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:08,639
Check out the Softcore History Patreon Patreon dot com slash

997
00:56:08,679 --> 00:56:11,960
Softcore History. Two extra episodes a week at three year

998
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:16,119
evergreen back catalog of content, and a bunch of original sketches.

999
00:56:16,559 --> 00:56:21,320
Uh it's not on camera board games. All kinds of

1000
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:24,559
fun shit, so yeah, check it out Patreon dot com

1001
00:56:24,599 --> 00:56:26,920
slash Softcore History. Thank you for listening for Dan Or

1002
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:27,920
Jester on Rob Fox.

1003
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:28,719
Speaker 1: You just got Saucer