Speaker 1: Welcome to Dad's One Day Quo. Parental discussion is advised
Speaker 1: mature content beyond this point.
Speaker 2: What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet
Speaker 2: you at the corner.
Speaker 1: I thought it said, mister Gorbert off, tear this wall down.
Speaker 3: I thought it was gonna be Hey, man, I've been
Speaker 3: trying to talk to you. That they'd really been putting
Speaker 3: up some walls between.
Speaker 1: Could have been stopped throwing your balls on me. You've
Speaker 1: really had a barrier up. Anyway. Dad's on Dick was
Speaker 1: episode one sixty one one. I'm known, I'm done, I'm
Speaker 1: stone baby. Fuckina. Uh, what's today? Today's Monday? Monday, Monday,
Speaker 1: the fourth of February. The fuck We're finally in February.
Speaker 1: Does in February feel like it's or January? I feel
Speaker 1: like it's three months long some days.
Speaker 3: No, it always goes so fast for me, Like every
Speaker 3: every single year, in the beginning of March, I go,
Speaker 3: holy shit, it's March already. What the fuck happened?
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you get to March. Yeah, but while you're January, like, okay,
Speaker 1: put it in this perspective. I guess when you're in
Speaker 1: like the let's say, it's like January twenty second, right,
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh man, Christmas was three weeks ago. Wait,
Speaker 1: I'm still in January. You get this weird feeling of
Speaker 1: like Christmas like it was a long time ago, but
Speaker 1: it really wasn't that.
Speaker 2: Long ago, from like the twentieth, from like the twentieth
Speaker 2: to the thirty first until you get into February. Once
Speaker 2: you're into February, you're like, oh shit, all right.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and they'll wonder March fucking creeps up on
Speaker 1: you because February's on.
Speaker 2: I got twenty eight days? Is this year twenty nine?
Speaker 2: When's leap year?
Speaker 1: I was last year? I was last year. I wasn't
Speaker 1: paying attention.
Speaker 3: I had a good digd twenty eight just another day.
Speaker 3: Fuck another day to piss somebody off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, speaking of another day, my uh my little dad's
Speaker 1: story for the weekend. So I think my daughter, and
Speaker 1: this isn't a hope because I secretly AJ knows this
Speaker 1: that I secretly love that balance or whatever her name is,
Speaker 1: the Tourette's Girl. Okay, wind it up, go, I fucking
Speaker 1: love her anyway, my four year old she loves saying
Speaker 1: booty cheeks whenever she gets a chance, like and it's
Speaker 1: just random, like it's very eighty HD out of nowhere.
Speaker 1: So tonight we're eating dinner and someone's like, how's dinner
Speaker 1: taste here? She goes taste good, tastes like butt crack,
Speaker 1: like just out of nowhere. Else, like what just happened?
Speaker 1: That's your kid? But I was like, yeah, so, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: my my four year old's obsessed saying booty cheeks and
Speaker 1: butt crack, and and she places it in the red spots.
Speaker 1: So it's great.
Speaker 3: All right, So wait, pretty pretty soon she's gonna be like,
Speaker 3: how about this nutsack?
Speaker 1: Damn it?
Speaker 2: So when we when we go over there AJ next weekend,
Speaker 2: well this weekend, we need to have a contest to
Speaker 2: see how many times we can get her to say
Speaker 2: booty cheeks loudly, like like in the chant type level. Okay,
Speaker 2: we'll have a competition between you and I. All right down.
Speaker 1: Can we refer back to our chat from earlier? Are
Speaker 1: our dad's on dago chat that people aren't actually part of,
Speaker 1: but they can hear about this that you're actually not
Speaker 1: coming to my house. We're coming to your house.
Speaker 2: That's not what we said, is it.
Speaker 1: You said you wanted to host Super Bowl this year,
Speaker 1: did I see I have the stone. I'm not even
Speaker 1: fucking with you. I know, I normally fuck with you
Speaker 1: and nobody ever believes me because I fuck with people
Speaker 1: too much. But yeah, that was in all honesty.
Speaker 2: So whoops, all right, come on over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, welcome to the circus. Speaking of circus, dumb, how
Speaker 1: was your week?
Speaker 2: Yeah, my week was good. I ended up going to
Speaker 2: New Jersey on an impromptu visit to see my family.
Speaker 2: My cousin's fiftieth birthday was this weekend, and so his
Speaker 2: girlfriend decided to throw him a gigantic party.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: My cousin is very aliked, very well known in the
Speaker 2: little community that they're in, so she she threw a
Speaker 2: party for him with about one hundred people. It was
Speaker 2: pretty insane. It was that what rehabs like. It was
Speaker 2: a good time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we all had to in the shower together. So
Speaker 1: this is the Italian side. So this is on my
Speaker 1: mom's side. O. Yeah, this is a pizza party. H
Speaker 1: So it was a good It was a good time, dude.
Speaker 2: It was really nice to see family. It started off
Speaker 2: with a fucking bang, dude. So we get we get
Speaker 2: to the airport, we get to Vegas, it's eleven o'clock.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, let me back up one more stuff. Let's
Speaker 1: rewind this. Let's let's rewind it a little bit. So
Speaker 1: we get to the airport. So, my mom is not
Speaker 1: the fastest of move right. So when I when I
Speaker 1: left Kingman to get to Vegas, I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: we need some time. It's gonna take us a little
Speaker 1: time to get everywhere, No big deal. She's probably gonna
Speaker 1: want to eat. So we get there early.
Speaker 2: We get there five fucking hours early.
Speaker 1: Dude.
Speaker 2: This is the fastest my mom's moved ever in her
Speaker 2: fucking life. So we are at the airport five hours
Speaker 2: prior to our flight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in context, you have texted me at this point
Speaker 1: is six forty five. Yes, Arizona time. It's five forty
Speaker 1: five Vegas time. And I'm like, wait, don't you leave
Speaker 1: it eleven? And you were like yeah. And I was like, Bro,
Speaker 1: you're at the airport like five hours early.
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do with your life? Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: not even international, like whatever.
Speaker 1: I've downloaded some movies, I got some work to do.
Speaker 1: I brought my work laptop, so it's like it'll be fine,
Speaker 1: I'll figure it out. Do you watch black Hawk down
Speaker 1: on your flight.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So we get We walk into the fucking airport,
Speaker 2: park cars parks. We walk in and I look around.
Speaker 2: Two fucking seconds I realized that the security check in
Speaker 2: is directly in front of us.
Speaker 1: We're exactly where we need to be, exactly where we
Speaker 1: need to be.
Speaker 2: Nobody's in line in the fucking TSA check it check in,
Speaker 2: nobody's in line in the other stat and the other
Speaker 2: security check in. Beautiful fucking scene. Right. My look over
Speaker 2: to my mom to say something, and she goes, let's
Speaker 2: get a wheelchair. Okay, we got a wheelchairs so we
Speaker 2: can get through easier. And I was like, okay, why
Speaker 2: do we need it? There's fucking empty lines right there.
Speaker 2: She's like, well, just hold on, and she turns and
Speaker 2: she asks the guy next to us, where do we
Speaker 2: get the wheelchairs, to which he says, what airline are you?
Speaker 2: We flew United? United is two hundred fucking yards at
Speaker 2: the other end of the airport.
Speaker 1: Dude.
Speaker 3: We had to They couldn't wheel it to the security.
Speaker 2: We had to go get it. We had to walk.
Speaker 1: You want to go, dude, We had to walk United.
Speaker 1: We stand bitch, dude. God so here's the irony. The
Speaker 1: irony of this is my mom does not need a
Speaker 1: fucking wheelchair at all.
Speaker 2: She only wanted it because she has TSA check in.
Speaker 1: I don't, and she didn't want to fucking pay for mine,
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to pay for my own given shit.
Speaker 1: The pre check, that's ESA pre check, the TESA, your mom.
Speaker 1: Your mom is the people that I'm eyeballing, you two motherfuckers.
Speaker 1: When i'm group A, I'm Group A like number three
Speaker 1: to go in, yeah, and I'm watching twenty eight fucking
Speaker 1: people with early check in because Gary and Sandy are
Speaker 1: literally gonna have a stroke and die on this flight
Speaker 1: so they can get on early. There's mama with her
Speaker 1: eighteen fucking kids all under the age of two. That's okay,
Speaker 1: And then there's you and your mom where I'm staring
Speaker 1: them down, like these fuckers she had a new a
Speaker 1: wheelchair that bitch can walk. Get up, Get the fuck up,
Speaker 1: and get back to your seat. Dude, your ce check
Speaker 1: in posted. Let me get my fucking seat.
Speaker 2: I looked at her and I was like, I don't
Speaker 2: want to do this. I was like, can we please
Speaker 2: just walk through? And she's like, no, it'll be fine,
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, And I'm like, all right, whatever cuts
Speaker 2: off her leg to prove it more. We walk off
Speaker 2: all the way down. We wait like five ten minutes
Speaker 2: to get the fucking wheelchair, which I obviously doesn't matter,
Speaker 2: right because we're we've got a whole half at fucking data.
Speaker 1: Wait.
Speaker 2: We get in the wheelchair and this woman was talking
Speaker 2: to every single person that we passed. There were little kids,
Speaker 2: and she's making this like Italian witch voice, like.
Speaker 1: All these guys are so cut up.
Speaker 2: And then this woman like drags her kid from the
Speaker 2: left side of her, which is the side we were on,
Speaker 2: to the right side of her because she is now
Speaker 2: fearful that this crazy ass Italian woman is next to
Speaker 2: her gonna steal her fucking kid. So we get up there,
Speaker 2: we get through. Everything's fine.
Speaker 1: We get on the plane, and about ten minutes in,
Speaker 1: the pilot's like, hey, guys, we're.
Speaker 2: About to take off. Everything's great. I hope you have
Speaker 2: a great flight. We'll see on the other side, like
Speaker 2: all right, cool. Then all of a sudden, people start
Speaker 2: flooding in the plane. Was not leaving, he was letting
Speaker 2: more people in the plane. So he lets more people
Speaker 2: in the plane About ten minutes after that, he's like, oh, uh,
Speaker 2: so maintenance is telling me we have a little bit
Speaker 2: of an issue. It's gonna be a couple more minutes. Guys,
Speaker 2: please sit tight, seat belt sign still off, blah blah blah,
Speaker 2: get up, stretch your legs. About thirty minutes after that, Hey, guys, uh,
Speaker 2: the maintenance crew is saying they got they found some water.
Speaker 2: Everything's gonna be fine, but they need to fix it.
Speaker 2: We're just gonna write some stuff down and then move on.
Speaker 2: Everything will be all right. Cut you An hour later,
Speaker 2: where now he's like, hey, guys, we're gonna cut our losses.
Speaker 2: We're just gonna get off this plane and get on
Speaker 2: another one.
Speaker 1: It would be at the point where he says, go
Speaker 1: ahead and seat belt signs are off, go ahead and
Speaker 1: stand up and stretch your legs. I see your mom
Speaker 1: get up, and I'm like, oh, now you want to
Speaker 1: fucking stand up? Bah Now those legs are working. You
Speaker 1: fucking bitch all bitter because I'm one row behind her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we we get on. We get on the
Speaker 2: next plane.
Speaker 3: Fucking powdered sugar on this seat.
Speaker 1: Jesus, she's in the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Ah, this is like cocaine to you.
Speaker 1: The next guy just opens the bathroom door and it
Speaker 1: looks like fucking Lebron was in there. Oh god, man,
Speaker 1: you know it's funny, is like you united, But everything
Speaker 1: that you've said it so far sounds like every spirit
Speaker 1: flight that you could ever imagine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and going there was one of the bumpiest flights
Speaker 2: I've ever been on it. There was so much turbulence,
Speaker 2: it was so wild that didn't even they forgot to
Speaker 2: strap your mom's wheelchair. That's probably the problem. So she
Speaker 2: freaked out too. So when when the the kid there
Speaker 2: was a kid there that was gonna wheel her down,
Speaker 2: they wouldn't let me wheel her onto the plane. So
Speaker 2: the kid there was a kid there, young kid, couldn't
Speaker 2: have been like twenty two twenty three. He goes to
Speaker 2: wheel her backwards and she loses her shit. Don't do don't, don't, don't,
Speaker 2: don't don't. She's screaming, you can't do that, you can't
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 1: I'll throw up. I was like, oh great.
Speaker 2: He's like, what's that's wrong? Is everything okay?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: And he's freaking out. He was a little more anxious
Speaker 2: than that. But she's like, if you wheel me backwards.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna throw up, and I will throw up on you.
Speaker 2: This is your mom, this is my mom. Yeah, those
Speaker 2: are gonna throw up on me if you're facing the
Speaker 2: other way. Don't know, dude, fucking logic, don't know, christ
Speaker 2: I don't know anyway. So that was a flight. We
Speaker 2: get there the first day Friday. Friday was great. I
Speaker 2: ended up seeing like fifty five people that I knew
Speaker 2: within like the first two days of this trip because
Speaker 2: everybody and their brother wanted to see me that I
Speaker 2: haven't seen in ten to twelve or for longer years.
Speaker 2: But we get to the party, right, We get to
Speaker 2: the birthday party and there's a shit ton of people there.
Speaker 2: There's food, there's music, there's everything. You you know, normal
Speaker 2: normal party ludes. So I'm going to the bathroom and
Speaker 2: these two guys come in behind me and I'm taking
Speaker 2: my piss and they're just standing there waiting for me
Speaker 2: to leave, just standing there wasn't awkward at all. Wash
Speaker 2: my hands. Go to walk out of the bathroom and
Speaker 2: they pull out this baggy of fucking coke and I'm
Speaker 2: just like, you guys are fucking ridiculous. Walk out about one.
Speaker 1: Of those coffee straws.
Speaker 2: About fifteen minutes later. About fifteen minutes later, I needed
Speaker 2: some paper towels. So where do I go? I go
Speaker 2: back to the bathroom. They're still doing fucking blow in
Speaker 2: the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, most of it's probably like muscle milk or like
Speaker 3: fucking baby formula.
Speaker 5: Dude, we haven't gotten to the real shit yet. You
Speaker 5: get just any fetanl I don't know, not on that one. Yeah,
Speaker 5: at this point they just didn't Yeah, they were just
Speaker 5: doing it. I mean they just did not give a shit.
Speaker 5: It was on the synk nasty fucking bathroom saying dude,
Speaker 5: I'm just like.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So there were some other stories, but that's the
Speaker 2: that's the short great version of this weekend. It was
Speaker 2: a good time. I really enjoyed seeing my family. It
Speaker 2: was super fun. Was very therapeutic for me.
Speaker 1: Nice nice, nice, nice. Yeah what about you, Stone?
Speaker 3: I had a pretty good weekend. I did two things. First,
Speaker 3: I went to go watch a first Royal Rumble pay
Speaker 3: per view in like twenty years.
Speaker 2: Same girl, Same wow.
Speaker 3: Now that's on Netflix, baby, let's go.
Speaker 1: Well it was on Peacock. Peacock, Yeah, Peacock, because they've
Speaker 1: had him on the Peacock Raws on Netflix. But anyway,
Speaker 1: same real quick on that as I was just watching
Speaker 1: an ad and I was like, oh, I'll turn on
Speaker 1: the Royal Rumble. I was like, watch one of these
Speaker 1: in like twenty years. And there was a lot of
Speaker 1: it that felt fun for me. Yeah, and then a
Speaker 1: lot of it was like, yeah, that is why I
Speaker 1: stopped watching rest anyway, go.
Speaker 3: Same same, Yeah, definitely it brought back some like good
Speaker 3: nostalgia and I loved it, and you know, it was
Speaker 3: funny like seeing some like the gimmicks and stuff and
Speaker 3: kind of like brought back like the Inner Kid and
Speaker 3: me And shout out to Ryan from Body of Filth
Speaker 3: and his lovely wife Christen for hosting me and Avery
Speaker 3: to come over and watch with them.
Speaker 2: Oh did you go?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a good time time. We made some
Speaker 3: good food, We had some good laughs. His wife ship
Speaker 3: on us were watching wrestling because we're fags, no fuck's given.
Speaker 1: While she's in her fucking room crying watching Bridgerton Like
Speaker 1: that's more.
Speaker 3: Real, laughing his ass off right now. But but yeah,
Speaker 3: it was a good time. And then the other thing
Speaker 3: I did was, oh god, I gotta mention this is
Speaker 3: so funny. We were walking through Home Goods or No
Speaker 3: No at Home, which is like a home good store,
Speaker 3: and we were just kind of looking at stuff and
Speaker 3: trying to get some like little knickknacks for the kitchen
Speaker 3: or whatever little gadgets that I noticed in there one
Speaker 3: day that we needed. So we're walking through, and we're
Speaker 3: walking through this kind of like novelty section.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like we're like the the globes are
Speaker 3: and stuff, you know, and some like the fancy decorps.
Speaker 3: They had a big old, like like half a basketball
Speaker 3: size worth of like a t rex skull just sitting
Speaker 3: on the shelf. And I was like, dude, fucking man,
Speaker 3: Cave needs one of those, man, dann that's awesome, right,
Speaker 3: And so I was just gonna make like a dad joke,
Speaker 3: you know, and and be like, you know, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: why why didn't Avery? You know, I got a dad
Speaker 3: joke for you. Why didn't the t rex do well
Speaker 3: on the math test? You know? And my answer was
Speaker 3: gonna be because he couldn't write down the answers because
Speaker 3: he couldn't reach you know, some bullshit answer like that.
Speaker 3: And Avery goes because he's dead, fucking nailed it.
Speaker 2: Kid's better at dad jokes.
Speaker 1: Somehow, my somehow, my gene pool in cousin anatomy made
Speaker 1: its appearance in Avery's brain. Oh my god, dude, it
Speaker 1: was so good.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh man, kid, that was way better
Speaker 3: than I could have ever anticipated.
Speaker 1: When we're staying there.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, that's sucking better than my answer, my answer. Okay,
Speaker 3: gets on his phone, crosses out answer, crosses Avery's name
Speaker 3: off the list, put on lipstick.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to pay for that.
Speaker 3: Fuck off. I can't earn this, oh man. But you
Speaker 3: know what that actually like brings me right into another joke.
Speaker 3: You know what happened when the computer fell onto the floor.
Speaker 1: Crashed.
Speaker 3: Gen Z is not gonna know what this means, but
Speaker 3: it slipped a disc popped up and said that.
Speaker 1: Is going to be Jared from Subway's porn fell out
Speaker 1: of It took.
Speaker 2: You a little while to dial that up.
Speaker 1: Gen Z. You won't know what that is either. Oh ship,
Speaker 1: all right, let's get into the meat, the meat and
Speaker 1: potatoes of this episode. So I was tasked to curious
Speaker 1: you can have the pudding first, No, I was tasked
Speaker 1: to write and curate this wonderful episode.
Speaker 2: It's gonna suck gigantic balls, jew balls. The first segment
Speaker 2: that we're gonna do nothing, go ahead twenty three meters
Speaker 2: not me, no mo uh what are the this? So
Speaker 2: this first segment is what are three weird smells that
Speaker 2: you secretly love? So I thought of this one day
Speaker 2: when I was doing something that shall not be named,
Speaker 2: and I was like, ass, why is that smell?
Speaker 1: Good? Weird?
Speaker 2: So I figured, you know what, I wonder what the
Speaker 2: guys would say if I asked the same question. So, AJ,
Speaker 2: why don't you start? Give us one one weird smell
Speaker 2: that like most people, or you think most people wouldn't like,
Speaker 2: but you like.
Speaker 3: Oh well, I guess my first one I think actually
Speaker 3: might make the list for all three of us, or
Speaker 3: like a lot of people.
Speaker 1: I wrote down six, just.
Speaker 2: Damn damn.
Speaker 1: Nice. I can think of other ones.
Speaker 3: Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, last one, specifically my wife's pussy.
Speaker 6: She made me write down that last one, not even
Speaker 6: top seven. All right, back to your d uh. So
Speaker 6: first one I wrote down was gas I have that
Speaker 6: written down. I don't know what it is like up gasoline? Yeah, okay, yeah,
Speaker 6: like every every time I go to gas up.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, it's even better if it's an older
Speaker 1: car too, Like when you're talking about a muscle car.
Speaker 1: If you've ever driven a muscle car, even if you're
Speaker 1: around them and they freshly gas up, the smell.
Speaker 2: Just so you like that, like the burning octave. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: there's a lot. There's a lot of sixty six.
Speaker 3: Mustang will always have a special place in my nostril.
Speaker 2: Jordan, Yeah, sixty nine is more my number. But Jordan,
Speaker 2: what about.
Speaker 1: You, I'm gonna scratch gasoline off my list. The smell
Speaker 1: of a nail salon, I fucking love really smell. Yeah,
Speaker 1: walk in, I just want to smells like fucking bitch
Speaker 1: makes sense? I mean you always like Chinese people, so right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you like the smell a little girls sparkle tip
Speaker 1: tip cheap boy, Bobby Mom, your your total? You put those.
Speaker 2: Go away? So I actually I like the smell of
Speaker 2: How fuck I shouldn't say this? You know what's funny
Speaker 2: is I thought about this week and then just as
Speaker 2: I go to say it, I'm like, these two assholes
Speaker 2: burning rubber. I like the smell of burnt rubber.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, yeah, you know, put your moonshine away, you
Speaker 4: fucking asshole rights itself.
Speaker 1: Man, people get writers, strike baggots. Okay, I want to
Speaker 1: I want to piggyback on that and say another one
Speaker 1: of mine because this this actually kind of plays to
Speaker 1: yours that you said, which does make sense. Is I
Speaker 1: really like like freshly open plastic or rubber, like you
Speaker 1: know those rubber mats, Like the rubber mats that you
Speaker 1: snap together. The smell of those, Oh it's delicious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh I love and like workout matts, like after
Speaker 2: after they've been used for a winter.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you get stands fucking taint sweat on it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Sorry, I didn't lick at my mic aj What
Speaker 2: do you got to you?
Speaker 3: My next one is like a two parter. It's either
Speaker 3: like newborn breath or like puppy breath. Okay, Like it's
Speaker 3: just like brand new and like doesn't stink, has a
Speaker 3: smell swit that's weirdly home for you. Yeah, like like
Speaker 3: like calms you in a weird way, you know, Like
Speaker 3: I remember when I had my kid and she's just
Speaker 3: breathe on my face.
Speaker 1: I was like, why do I feel like this.
Speaker 3: Is like one of the best things I ever smelled.
Speaker 3: And then I thought of it, and I was like,
Speaker 3: is that why they call that flower baby's breath? Because
Speaker 3: like it smells like a baby's breath. Let me hit
Speaker 3: this joint again.
Speaker 1: I wonder what this flower is. It says the title
Speaker 1: is called my Neighbor's asshole. Oh dude, you got that. No,
Speaker 1: it's not bad, in kid, it's just a dingleberry.
Speaker 2: Because you imagine if people did what dogs do when
Speaker 2: their assholes itch, like and they just like like.
Speaker 3: Licking their own assholes.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, they do the scoot.
Speaker 1: Like I come over one day and George's just scooting
Speaker 1: across the kitchen. It's not doing anything. Is It's just tile.
Speaker 1: There's no traction. You see splots ellie in the corners
Speaker 1: like buda chicks at the corner, Like, what is this doing?
Speaker 1: Pretty much? This is our dad, No ship the U.
Speaker 1: My next one would be the smell of leather. I
Speaker 1: love the smell. Yes, I like that one you walk
Speaker 1: into a boot barn, but most people aren't like, like,
Speaker 1: I will grab a leather coaster like you buy new
Speaker 1: leather coasters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I will fucking my nose that thing.
Speaker 3: All right, fair enough, I have I have to have
Speaker 3: a leather wallet, which just because the feel of it,
Speaker 3: but the smell of it too, Like every now and
Speaker 3: then I'll take my whalle and.
Speaker 1: Just oh god, it still smells so good. Really, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I first discovered a leather wallet, I went
Speaker 3: to Knotsberry Farm and they had like a leather working
Speaker 3: shop in there, and they had like leather belts that
Speaker 3: they made. They had leather wallets that they made, and
Speaker 3: I was like, what is that smelling here? Jure, shit,
Speaker 3: it was a leather first time I ever really smelled that,
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, how good, Like like straight
Speaker 3: up when I was seventeen, I think, shit, when I
Speaker 3: went seventeen.
Speaker 1: Or eighteen, when I get around leather, I wish I
Speaker 1: had Jay Z's nose, Like, get me more. I need
Speaker 1: more of this smell in my life. All right, what's
Speaker 1: your next one?
Speaker 2: You did you kind of get like a B word
Speaker 2: type hunger for leather?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, got it. Check.
Speaker 2: I like the smell of the oil that they put on,
Speaker 2: like blaze. It's like saw blades, you know, brand new
Speaker 2: brand speaking saw blades put it on like hammers and
Speaker 2: other types of metals metal tools to kind.
Speaker 1: Of burning rubber and oil. All right, check that off
Speaker 1: the list. This is burnt in your deep genetic dna,
Speaker 1: I said, fucking odd, you swabcast is gonna tell me different, right?
Speaker 2: That is wild?
Speaker 1: Dude?
Speaker 2: Anyway, Yeah, I like I like it. I like that smell.
Speaker 2: You don't. You don't get it in really any other place.
Speaker 2: It's not an oil that's used, at least I don't
Speaker 2: think anywhere else because I don't.
Speaker 1: It's not a lubricant. You're not putting gun on your
Speaker 1: wife's buttthole. No you could. No, dude, gotta lou up
Speaker 1: the slide. Spit, just spit, just just get the spit.
Speaker 2: If you put enough of it on there, it's fine.
Speaker 3: Why are you spinning so much?
Speaker 1: Got cotton? Shut the fuck up. Okay, work with what
Speaker 1: I got. Okay. My next one.
Speaker 3: Is like I remember, I first smelled this on a
Speaker 3: first grade field trip. I went to Anderson Dairy and
Speaker 3: like where they make ice cream, and holy shit, like
Speaker 3: that smell stuck with me. We went and that no no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: that's a different trip and that will that's on the
Speaker 3: list of top five worst, especially when you fall in
Speaker 3: that ship. But no, and it's like every Ben and
Speaker 3: Jerry's every d Q, every basket Robbins, that ice cream
Speaker 3: shop smell. I love that fucking smell so much, so
Speaker 3: damn good.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, yeah, I got it. Yeah yeah, I'll let
Speaker 1: you guys pick. Do you want my first on the
Speaker 1: list or last on the list? Last? Okay? Sharpies, Sharpies
Speaker 1: and cements.
Speaker 3: Of course you'd be huffing those.
Speaker 1: Sharpies. Sharpies is actually my other one ship paint thinner.
Speaker 3: There.
Speaker 2: Yeah, great, dude, it's fucking great. I love I love
Speaker 2: when you first crack a brand new sharpie. And all
Speaker 2: sharpies have a little bit of a different smell, like
Speaker 2: the big ones smell just a touch different than the
Speaker 2: regular size sharpies.
Speaker 1: She said, Size does matter, Size does matter. I like,
Speaker 1: I like the smell of tile, so yeah, the ceramics,
Speaker 1: so yeah, but the tile, like when you get a
Speaker 1: a little bit alright, when you get a fresh.
Speaker 3: Box of ties that rich it's all metal iron, yeah,
Speaker 3: chamber tile. Yeah, No, there's no, there was no like
Speaker 3: a mosaic picture to you.
Speaker 2: No, that's just that, that's just Johnny's brains.
Speaker 3: It looks like stained glass to you.
Speaker 1: Just blood.
Speaker 2: Alright, fuckers, Jesus Christ, all right, So I got a question,
Speaker 2: he was a jew. What does one boob say to
Speaker 2: the other boob, Megan, If we don't get support, people
Speaker 2: are gonna think we're nuts.
Speaker 1: Nice, it's a good one.
Speaker 3: Shout out to drink and Josh d m us if
Speaker 3: you got that joke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah uh. And if you have any other weird
Speaker 2: smells that you guys like, let us know, hit us up,
Speaker 2: you know, hit it, hit us up on any of
Speaker 2: our social platforms Instagram, Facebook, Where else.
Speaker 1: Are we grinder grind? We were on tiktoks bumble, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's just China.
Speaker 2: Dm us, just d m us, get jump in, jump
Speaker 2: into one of our d ms. You know, you'll get well,
Speaker 2: you'll get ignored like the rest of them. But but
Speaker 2: it's the thought that count. Yeah, we'll see it, We'll
Speaker 2: see it.
Speaker 3: Spam.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, let's let's jump into the next Let's
Speaker 1: jump into the next segment. So I like this segment.
Speaker 2: I thought about bringing back Jeopardy, Dad Jeopardy, but I
Speaker 2: was like, you know what, we're gonna do something a
Speaker 2: little different. We'll save Dad Jeopardy for just a little
Speaker 2: bit longer. This one is going to be two lies
Speaker 2: and a truth history edition. So how we're gonna do this?
Speaker 2: Is is it always it?
Speaker 1: Isn't it always a history edition? No, because if it's true,
Speaker 1: that means it's fact. And if it's fact, that means
Speaker 1: it exists. If it exists, it means it's history.
Speaker 2: But it's not always history. And we've done We've done
Speaker 2: this before. You have to explain.
Speaker 1: I got it.
Speaker 2: We did it. We did it about my life, about
Speaker 2: ship that I did. Well, I guess it was history
Speaker 2: because it was ship that I did.
Speaker 3: Uh So, some good deductive reasoning.
Speaker 2: What we're gonna do, What we're gonna do. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: reach out for here and grab a pen because i
Speaker 2: forgot to do this ahead of time, and I'm gonna
Speaker 2: go Jordan, and then I'm gonna go a j all right,
Speaker 2: so we're gonna keep score. I've got I've got seven
Speaker 2: of these, Okay, at seventies. I'm going to tell you
Speaker 2: all three things, all three statements. You are then going
Speaker 2: to pick a B or C, and I will tell
Speaker 2: you if you are right, you will both pick.
Speaker 1: We're looking for the truth.
Speaker 2: You are looking for the truth. Okay, all right, So
Speaker 2: we'll start off first one, Pope Gregory the Ninth Band,
Speaker 2: Cats in Catholic Europe. Pope Gregory, the Ninth Band, Dogs
Speaker 2: in Catholic Europe, Pope Gregory the Ninth Band, owning fish
Speaker 2: in Catholic Europe. I'll say it again, Pope Gregory the
Speaker 2: Ninth Band, Cats, dogs or owning fish.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with cats. Okay, I'm gonna go with fish.
Speaker 1: I like that one too. It is cats.
Speaker 2: Oh, it is cats, And funny enough, little fact cracked
Speaker 2: down on that post. That's what led to the Black
Speaker 2: plague because there were no cats to eat the rats.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2: Number two.
Speaker 3: I was thinking of like lens or some shit.
Speaker 1: I don't know how that works. They're like, no fish
Speaker 1: on it. That's that was my That was actually my
Speaker 1: deductive reasoning for why it couldn't be fish, because then
Speaker 1: what would they do during lent and they have to
Speaker 1: eat fish. So I was like, it can't be fished.
Speaker 2: That was reason.
Speaker 1: Oh fish is what they oh yeah, yeah, okay, it's
Speaker 1: other meat they do.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, okay, all right.
Speaker 2: Number two, So Jordan's up one nothing Number two. In
Speaker 2: nineteen sixty nine, Apollo leven. The Apollo eleven mission only
Speaker 2: had a day's worth of food on board. In nineteen
Speaker 2: sixty nine, the Apollo eleven mission had five candy bars
Speaker 2: on board in nineteen ninety. In nineteen sixty nine, the
Speaker 2: Apollo eleven mission landed with only ten seconds of fuel left.
Speaker 2: Did me say him again?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say one day worth of food. Okay, I
Speaker 1: want to say the fuel, but it seems so odd
Speaker 1: because it's like, well, if it only a landed with
Speaker 1: ten seconds of fuel, then how the fuck did they
Speaker 1: get back? But then I can't remember history did they
Speaker 1: make it? So I'm gonna go with candy bars.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: I put the candy bar on there as an homage
Speaker 2: to the Mars argument. Again, Uh, I gravitated right towards it.
Speaker 2: It is actually it is actually the ten seconds of fuel.
Speaker 2: Fucking knew it they had. They had to use rotational
Speaker 2: propulsion to get away, so to help them out.
Speaker 1: It's easier when you're in a fucking Hollywood studio. Facts true.
Speaker 2: When Walt Disney released his first cartoon, The Ottoman Empire
Speaker 2: was still standing when Walt Disney opened Disneyland. Michael Jordan
Speaker 2: had just been born when Walt Disney created his first cartoon,
Speaker 2: The Year or Sorry, Walt Disney created his first cartoon
Speaker 2: the year the Yankees won their first World series. So
Speaker 2: Walt Disney's first cartoon was created, and the Automan Empire
Speaker 2: was still standing. Michael Jordan had just been born or
Speaker 2: it was the year the Yankees.
Speaker 1: One when he created his first cartoon. Correct, okay, the
Speaker 1: Automan Empire. I'm also going Automan Empire. It's ear that,
Speaker 1: or it's Michael Jordan. It's not the Yankees.
Speaker 2: It is the Automan Empire, which is crazy in its
Speaker 2: own right because most people think that that shit went away,
Speaker 2: you know, fucking way back then. He created his first
Speaker 2: cartoon in like the twenty two It was like nineteen
Speaker 2: twenty two.
Speaker 1: Yeah, twenty two or twenty three.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: World War One is what broke up the Automan Empire. Yep, yep,
Speaker 1: which is fuck, which is wild me all right?
Speaker 2: Number four Napoleon would kick a random animal every time
Speaker 2: before going into battle as a sign of manliness. Napoleon
Speaker 2: would force his men to show their penises before going
Speaker 2: into battle as a sign of aggression and manliness. Napoleon
Speaker 2: had a two sided coin he would flip before every battle,
Speaker 2: saying if it landed on tails, God was with them,
Speaker 2: but the coin was one sided, so it was just
Speaker 2: it was both sails.
Speaker 1: Well, I can think about his b he just like
Speaker 1: the skype pulls his pants. You're like, let's go to
Speaker 1: battle with that thing.
Speaker 3: It's sucking.
Speaker 1: Pull down here, okay, Ip and roll out of shower. Napoleon. Fuck,
Speaker 1: it's not what your wife said. Let's tick my bag.
Speaker 1: It up your asshole.
Speaker 3: You know I'm gonna say, kicking the animal.
Speaker 1: Fuck it, God, damn Frank, you got it any nothing out,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to see I'm gonna go to the
Speaker 1: coelab It is the coin I should have. I wanted
Speaker 1: it to be the animal. For some reason, I knew
Speaker 1: it was gonna be the coin.
Speaker 3: He hilarious, it was, it was all.
Speaker 1: It was all. Rusy thought that it would get them
Speaker 1: hyped up, thinking that God was with them and they
Speaker 1: were unstoppable, and ironically enough, every time he did it,
Speaker 1: they didn't lose.
Speaker 2: All right, So we are three to one. Please still
Speaker 2: have a shot a j.
Speaker 1: It number five coming up?
Speaker 3: You know what real quick would that be? Like the
Speaker 3: O G Placebo test?
Speaker 2: I mean you think you damn right, because it's it's
Speaker 2: just fake. I mean, it's no matter what it's gonna
Speaker 2: like he's gonna be right. Yeah, that's wild, all right.
Speaker 2: Number five, The Great Wall of China is three hundred
Speaker 2: and fifty miles long. Excuse me, The Great Wall of
Speaker 2: China is thirteen thousand, one hundred and seventy one miles long.
Speaker 2: The Great Wall of China is three thousand and seventy
Speaker 2: four miles long.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with c.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to sea as well.
Speaker 2: You are wrong. It is thirteen thousand, one hundred seventy
Speaker 2: one miles long.
Speaker 1: I didn't think it could be that long. You know
Speaker 1: how fun I knew it was that is. I knew
Speaker 1: it wasn't a you know how long that is? That
Speaker 1: will be that fucking long? Would border the Unitedly long,
Speaker 1: it's all. It's almost seven miles it would border the
Speaker 1: United States. No, no, sorry, it is almost seven miles. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: you said thirteen thousand, thirteen thousand.
Speaker 2: One hundred and seventy one miles miles miles miles thirty
Speaker 2: miles thousand.
Speaker 3: Wait do you mean the entire United States?
Speaker 1: The way around? Yeah? Thirty fourteen second.
Speaker 3: I was like, howling, thirteen thousand, idiot.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, so your weed is showing.
Speaker 3: Is showing, then.
Speaker 2: I'm still winning this game. Fuck you, alright, curator the
Speaker 2: Roman Empire. In the Roman Empire, they used goats testicles
Speaker 2: to enhance male male fertility. In the Roman Empire, they
Speaker 2: used gladiator blood to treat epilepsy. And in the Roman Empire,
Speaker 2: they used goat seamen to promote hair growth.
Speaker 3: Uh, number one, take a shot in the dark.
Speaker 1: What was one was goat goat testicles to enhance male fertility. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with a I'm gonna go with that.
Speaker 2: You are both wrong. It is absolutely be they they
Speaker 2: so in the Roman Empire, they used to they used
Speaker 2: to drink the gladiator blood to treat epilepsy.
Speaker 1: I remember the drinking the blood, but I couldn't remember
Speaker 1: what it was for. And then I thought, for some
Speaker 1: reason it wasn't epilepsy.
Speaker 2: But yep.
Speaker 1: Sorry. I also chose with AJ chose so I could
Speaker 1: purposely win.
Speaker 2: How make myself it is.
Speaker 1: Over logit strategy.
Speaker 2: We will save number seven for another time and we
Speaker 2: will move on. You want me to do it, all right,
Speaker 2: all right, let's just do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2: So here's the three of them. The most successful pirate
Speaker 2: in the world, was a woman named Ching She. The
Speaker 2: most successful pirate in the world was a man named
Speaker 2: Edward Teach. The most successful pirate in the world was
Speaker 2: a man named William Kidd b Nope, you motherfuckers suck
Speaker 2: it better not be a king.
Speaker 1: Is number one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she actually was married to the the original captain
Speaker 2: of the ship.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I saw a video on that a couple
Speaker 3: of weeks ago.
Speaker 2: But he loved her so much and had so much
Speaker 2: respect for her that he treated her as an equal,
Speaker 2: and therefore everyone on the ship did as well due
Speaker 2: to the culture. So she was the captain.
Speaker 1: Eventually he ended up dying or some shit, he like
Speaker 1: died in battle, and then she took over. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, all right, well evidently she was. She was fucking
Speaker 2: ruthless from what they from what I read, so she
Speaker 2: was like like smart, very good business woman, but she was.
Speaker 1: Ruthless speaking of business and ruthless. I was gonna tell
Speaker 1: a Mexican joke, but that got deported, So then I
Speaker 1: was gonna tell a Canadian joke, but Trudeau wanted to
Speaker 1: tax the shit out of that. So here's an African
Speaker 1: joke for you. And you guys know why, there's no
Speaker 1: pharmacies in Africa because you can't take medicine on a
Speaker 1: empty stomach. Hmmmm.
Speaker 3: I thought it was because Bill Clinton wasn't president anymore
Speaker 3: and he's not giving away free shit.
Speaker 2: Maybe speaking of Bill Clinton, that leads me into my
Speaker 2: next segment. So I was having a conversation with our
Speaker 2: producer and somehow it got on the topic of what
Speaker 2: are three people that you would love to have dinner with,
Speaker 2: to have a good conversation with, like random fucking people.
Speaker 2: I was trying to get her mind off of something.
Speaker 1: Currently living is what it was, but currently living.
Speaker 2: I asked her about currently living people and I had
Speaker 2: named Bill Clinton, Ken Griffey Junior, and Dame Judy Dench
Speaker 2: and she was like, what the fuck. I was like, well,
Speaker 2: think about it. I would like to ask all three
Speaker 2: of them a question about something. It would be cool.
Speaker 2: And she immediately went to, Oh, you just want to
Speaker 2: know how her fucking head was. You just care about
Speaker 2: Bill Clinton and how like Ello Winsky's dick fucking skills were.
Speaker 2: And I was like, but that's not the point, but
Speaker 2: it would mean I don't need to ask. Honestly, he
Speaker 2: did it in the Oval office.
Speaker 1: The head's gotta be good to risk it right to
Speaker 1: ask him how to play the saxophone, you dumb bingo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to know how to get that riz
Speaker 2: because Bill Clinton had that fucking riz. Dude, he had
Speaker 2: that swave like odd sex appeal for a man that
Speaker 2: was just ugly as shit.
Speaker 1: So yeah, look a brother.
Speaker 2: But anyway, so I thought it'd be fun to bring
Speaker 2: on here and ask you guys. And originally I was like, well,
Speaker 2: we can each do our own three, but I think
Speaker 2: it'd kind of be fun to kind of compile all
Speaker 2: of them together, Like, let's do this together as as
Speaker 2: a podcast. Who Let's pick like three to five people
Speaker 2: that we think would be phenomenal to have dinner with
Speaker 2: that are living currently, so it would be realistic current questions,
Speaker 2: not you know, people who are dead.
Speaker 1: How about we give to each that we've already prepared, okay,
Speaker 1: and then we all have to collectively choose choose one
Speaker 1: after that, so like this, don't hats two. I have
Speaker 1: my two, you have your two, and then and then
Speaker 1: we can collectively agree to have one person that the
Speaker 1: three of us get to go to dinner with. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, change up right. It's not very Kreischer now, Monica,
Speaker 1: I'll go first. I would love to do uh a
Speaker 1: dinner with Keanu Reeves. I think I think he's such
Speaker 1: a down to earth dude and just getting to have
Speaker 1: a real conversation with a guy who doesn't give a
Speaker 1: ship about his fame, has donated so much fucking money,
Speaker 1: he doesn't care about his appearance and all that ship.
Speaker 1: I just think it'd be cool, like, because he's a guy,
Speaker 1: like he would know some weird fucking place to take
Speaker 1: you to eat that isn't super high end, it's not
Speaker 1: super trashy either, but it's probably some of the best
Speaker 1: food you'll ever eat in your life, and you would
Speaker 1: have had no clue it existed because it's some kind
Speaker 1: of like hole in the wall dive that he knows about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can see that, right, Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, right on the back of his Yeah
Speaker 1: you get I'm gonna be like Ben Stiller and Dodgeball. Figure,
Speaker 1: give me the middle figure, We're gone. Yeah, yeah, there's mine.
Speaker 2: Don't look like a backpack.
Speaker 1: Tos is like six to four, bro, Like I just said,
Speaker 1: I'll look like Ben Stiller on Dodgeball.
Speaker 2: Do you not remember that scene? Go watch it?
Speaker 1: Well clip it to this clip. Let me mark clip
Speaker 1: right now so we don't lose this spot. You go ahead.
Speaker 1: Let's see.
Speaker 3: So I got Aaron Rodgers on there. Oh, I like
Speaker 3: just because like I want to pick his fucking brain. Okay,
Speaker 3: so much about so many different topics. Okay, when it
Speaker 3: comes to when it comes to QB, the ayahuasca trips,
Speaker 3: how he handled the fucking brutal assault on his character
Speaker 3: from COVID like damn, oh, I got so many fucking questions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, damn.
Speaker 3: And plus like I want to slip him something and
Speaker 3: then ask him all of that and they'd be like,
Speaker 3: am I an ayahuasca right now? No?
Speaker 1: Man, but I'm about to pop another gummy another one too.
Speaker 2: I could almost guarantee you that a hundred milligrams doesn't
Speaker 2: fucking touch him. He is probably close to Joey d.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean like he he also admitted that he
Speaker 3: like is a percocet user, so really it makes total sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like his threshold like has to be through, the
Speaker 1: red has to be high. I can't wait for five
Speaker 1: years from now when when Nick Cage does a biopic
Speaker 1: of Aaron Rodgers. It's gonna be great.
Speaker 2: I've got a couple. I think, what's your first one.
Speaker 2: I think the first one would actually be Jim Carrey. Oh,
Speaker 2: I like it. I like, like I I worried.
Speaker 1: I kind of wavered back and forth about this one
Speaker 1: a little because I was like, what if he's doing like,
Speaker 1: you know, if he's doing impressions and ship like that
Speaker 1: the whole fucking time, it's gonna it's gonna get a
Speaker 1: little old.
Speaker 2: But I don't think he would.
Speaker 3: I think he's very down to earth like Keanu, especially
Speaker 3: now in like his older age, like like earlier young
Speaker 3: Jim Carrey, I think for sure he would have been
Speaker 3: like impressionist for sure, But now seeing in his interviews.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, yeah, I think I think that would be
Speaker 2: a great one. So I like Jim Carrey and and
Speaker 2: he's got I like a lot of his viewpoint and
Speaker 2: the way he interprets life as a whole. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: that would be that would be fun to pick.
Speaker 1: Like his his uh.
Speaker 3: I really love his video where he sat down and
Speaker 3: he talked about the difference between being sad and being depressed. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I really liked that his viewpointed to that. I thought
Speaker 3: it was really really insightful.
Speaker 2: It'd be really cool. And I would actually like to
Speaker 2: ask him about some of the movies that he did too,
Speaker 2: so and then how he got into some of those characters,
Speaker 2: because there's a few characters that he doesn't talk to,
Speaker 2: he doesn't talk too much about, and how he got
Speaker 2: into the character. He talks about the movie itself and
Speaker 2: you know what the movie set was like, but not
Speaker 2: how he transitioned from normal to that. You know, so
Speaker 2: like me, myself and Irene.
Speaker 1: But but fucking Andy Coffin.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think collectively the whole world, including him, went
Speaker 3: that was a bad idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, probably not my bradest idea. Yeah, absolutely don't.
Speaker 1: Why don't you let's let's go reverse, Let's go you
Speaker 1: stone the me this time? Okay, what's your next one?
Speaker 2: The next one would be Neil de grasse Tyson. So
Speaker 2: I I would like to ask him some questions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there are a lot of Where do you want
Speaker 1: to go to dinner with him?
Speaker 2: Ironically enough, like my picture perfect place to have this
Speaker 2: dinner would be like a pizza parlor, like like a
Speaker 2: New York fucking Grungey Street pizza parlor, pizza parlor where
Speaker 2: there's really not a whole lot of people around. You know,
Speaker 2: we might actually be the only ones in there. There's
Speaker 2: fucking neon lights flickering. You know, you smell beer and
Speaker 2: cigarettes around us. And because I think that would be
Speaker 2: relaxing enough to let free some real honest questions.
Speaker 3: I got an alternate to that. What if you took
Speaker 3: him to like some fancy restaurant and like Aspen somewhere
Speaker 3: in the mountains, right dinner outside, so you're looking at
Speaker 3: the stars, the real stars, not the BS stars. We
Speaker 3: get here because the light and the sky drowns at
Speaker 3: everything a real stars, and then he can point shit
Speaker 3: out to you, like, oh god, that'd be great. So
Speaker 3: none of the simulation, simulation, the simulation.
Speaker 1: I like that idea though. That's really cool. That's a
Speaker 1: really cool idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can dig it.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's cool. Stone let's see.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I really want to go to fucking dinner
Speaker 3: with Shane Gillis one hundred percent, a hundred percent. I
Speaker 3: just want to sit there and be like, bro, get me,
Speaker 3: let let's have a great time, and let's just fucking
Speaker 3: just just throw them off each other, like let's go
Speaker 3: like you'd make a joke and make a joke. Mark
Speaker 3: Noman shows up out of nowhere, like oh shit, you know, like,
Speaker 3: oh god, it'd be.
Speaker 1: The commercials with him and Post Malone, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: while those two would be together, they're fantastic.
Speaker 3: Well Post he is like more reserved now after having
Speaker 3: a kid, like he dropped off a lot of his
Speaker 3: partying antics. But I think he I think for Shane,
Speaker 3: I think he would turn it up for Shane. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So that would be really cool to be a fly
Speaker 3: on the wall for Yeah, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: My My next one is a very off the wall
Speaker 1: as being a huge sports person, I had to go
Speaker 1: somewhere with sports, and I think this one ties it
Speaker 1: to my real love and driving passion for sports. And
Speaker 1: I'd love to go to dinner with Scott van Pelt. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the reason why, the reason why is he's such
Speaker 1: a cool fucking dude. And I would love to hear
Speaker 1: conversations and stories about the og ESPN Yeah when it
Speaker 1: was when it was with Scott Vampelt and Stuart Scott,
Speaker 1: And I mean Stuart Scott would be on my top
Speaker 1: three list of like if I could choose to have
Speaker 1: dinner with people that are alive or have passed, Stuart
Speaker 1: Scott would make that list. That dude was a real dude,
Speaker 1: and so I think Scott Van Pelt is too. And
Speaker 1: I think it'd be really fun to have dinner with
Speaker 1: somebody who equally or even more loves sports than me
Speaker 1: and then get to hear about the good glory days
Speaker 1: of ESPN and it's upbringing to the to the brand
Speaker 1: it had become. Yeah, I just think that'd be really
Speaker 1: fucking cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be down with that. So I'd be down
Speaker 2: with that. Let's go one more. Let's each say one more.
Speaker 2: You guys got one more each? Say one more?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't go ahead, like for sure Joe Rogan,
Speaker 3: Like I can't not say Joe Rogan because I just
Speaker 3: want to get high shit and just like bounce it
Speaker 3: off him too, especially God Like, like he mentions like
Speaker 3: quite a lot about like his ordeal that he went
Speaker 3: through with what happened with him and COVID and everything.
Speaker 3: But I think there's some ship that he still hasn't
Speaker 3: even told on air, And like those are the questions
Speaker 3: I want to hear, you know, be like, hey, man,
Speaker 3: like who who pulled you into the back rooms and
Speaker 3: like offered you money to stop talking about stuff? You know,
Speaker 3: like I don't want to know that type of shit
Speaker 3: because you know that fucking happened. You know, those fucking
Speaker 3: motherfuckers reached out and they were.
Speaker 1: Like, hey, so hey, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we can give you a billion dollars or we
Speaker 3: can throw you to the wolves CNA. And he was like, Beta,
Speaker 3: So I would love to plus like you would pay
Speaker 3: for my tomahawk.
Speaker 2: Let's go suit of recap. Your three are Aaron Rodgers,
Speaker 2: Shane Gillis and Joe Rogan.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, what a weird three. Yeah, I mean like weird.
Speaker 1: I mean it's not a would have picked.
Speaker 2: No, it's a Joe Rogan.
Speaker 1: Joe Rogan makes sense.
Speaker 2: It's a Joe Rogan episode like before being honest, right, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: all right, Jordan, you go.
Speaker 1: George W.
Speaker 5: Bush.
Speaker 1: And the reason why, yes, the reason why is solely
Speaker 1: because I think I could get that fucker lit enough
Speaker 1: to admit it to just I don't even care about that.
Speaker 1: I could give two fus about that. It is a
Speaker 1: tape recorder. No say it.
Speaker 2: I want to say it.
Speaker 1: I want to know that, and do your eyebrow raised
Speaker 1: right before you say it? Right.
Speaker 2: I think that.
Speaker 1: Getting to have time with him would be fun, cause
Speaker 1: he's just he is smart in ways, he's quirky, he's different.
Speaker 1: I feel like he'd be one of those college boys
Speaker 1: at heart still, like when you get him drunk, like
Speaker 1: he's just squirrely. Yeah, And I just want to get
Speaker 1: him enough where he just starts divulging shit that I
Speaker 1: want to know nothing, nothing crazy, like I could care less,
Speaker 1: like I said about like all the other really real conspiracies.
Speaker 1: I want to know the shit, Like, bro, what's area
Speaker 1: fifty one? Like tell me, tell me, like tell me
Speaker 1: you put your finger in an alien's asshole and tell me,
Speaker 1: you know, tell me the weird shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like what what if you get a little too
Speaker 3: far in the weeds with him though, you know, and
Speaker 3: like all of a sudden you start talking about stuff
Speaker 3: and you're like, oh man, Like mister president, I don't
Speaker 3: want to hear about you sticking down your wife's throat
Speaker 3: and her puking all over the overall office, Like maybe
Speaker 3: we shouldn't go there, let's just go back to area
Speaker 3: fifty one. I feel like he'd be one of those
Speaker 3: guys where if he blacks out, he's just gonna start
Speaker 3: talking about everything and then it's gonna get to a
Speaker 3: point where you're like, oh, buddy, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I walked in on my dad and
Speaker 1: mom having office. Barbara Bush was that kind of freak dude.
Speaker 1: I couldn't see it. I couldn't picture that. I can
Speaker 1: picture you a lot. I think I think he'd be
Speaker 1: a fun one. That's like a quirky one for me
Speaker 1: that I think would be fun.
Speaker 2: I mean that, so you you actually kind of you
Speaker 2: kind of touched that. That's the same type of logic
Speaker 2: that I had with Bill Clinton.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: Like with with Bill Clinton, it's I want to know
Speaker 2: all the secrets, right, it's it wasn't just about like
Speaker 2: the joke about Monica Lewinsky, I want to know about
Speaker 2: the secrets like that's I think that he's the type
Speaker 2: of person that would divulge those secrets.
Speaker 1: I think you get the moonshine in Arkansas on a
Speaker 1: full deck house, like on exactly five acres with nobody
Speaker 1: else around, Hillary's passed out.
Speaker 3: Tell us what was on Hillary's hard drive? You just
Speaker 3: wanted that ship. She had to bleach what was on
Speaker 3: exactly what came out of the Clinton Foundation, y'all had
Speaker 3: to shut it down. When it was being investigated.
Speaker 1: What happened?
Speaker 2: You become his dog?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: You let him play the saxophone. You guys are high
Speaker 1: as a fucking kite. You're like, I'm playing the fucking
Speaker 1: snare drum because I don't know.
Speaker 2: How to do anything else. And he's probably played the
Speaker 2: skin flute. I could probably play the skin flute, but
Speaker 2: it's not the same sound.
Speaker 1: Are you beat boxing or playing a flute?
Speaker 3: What if he was like, Okay, I'll give you the
Speaker 3: secrets to everything. Yeah, but you gotta suck the cock. Wait,
Speaker 3: don't I changed my answer? I want to have dinner
Speaker 3: with Montica Lewins cause she knows everything.
Speaker 1: Listen, like, Okay, in all seriousness, if if if he
Speaker 1: if he said that he would have to give up
Speaker 1: certain things first, but I would I would do it
Speaker 1: for the rest because I'm that devoted to knowing. It's
Speaker 1: a funny way of saying your gay, who's your third
Speaker 1: button at the beginning?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll give you a different one, though, I so
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 3: Say your power bottom.
Speaker 2: I would actually want Tom cruise, Okay. So I want
Speaker 2: to know. I want to know about his secret society.
Speaker 2: I want to know if he's eating babies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Tom, Okay, okay, I.
Speaker 2: Want to know about scientology. That's and I think that
Speaker 2: if you if you got him, Jim Carrey, and Neil
Speaker 2: de grasse in the same fucking room, at the same table,
Speaker 2: at the same time, you can't tell me that wouldn't
Speaker 2: be fucking riveting.
Speaker 1: You didn't say that these were all at the same time,
Speaker 1: that would have changed my answers completely.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I said.
Speaker 1: I didn't know it was like a group dinner. I
Speaker 1: thought it was like you have dinner with these people individually. No,
Speaker 1: I would change my answer at all.
Speaker 3: That'd be the best protector of parks ever.
Speaker 1: Here's just a Joe Rogan podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's th This is thirteen eighty three man, just
Speaker 3: at six and a half hours, No way, No, Jordan
Speaker 3: stopped listening in forty minutes.
Speaker 1: Watch dude, Well we got to the second commercial break.
Speaker 2: Chad, Chad, Chad's gonna hit Joe up in the hallway
Speaker 2: on the way out of fucking work tomorrow and be like, Hey,
Speaker 2: these fucking dumbasses that I that I have to listen
Speaker 2: to every night with their stupid fucking podcast had the
Speaker 2: best idea ever for your podcast. And we're gonna see
Speaker 2: it in a week.
Speaker 1: That's true. True, I believe that one hundred percent. Okay,
Speaker 1: So if we all had to agree on one last
Speaker 1: one before we get going, we all have to agree
Speaker 1: on what is it? Agree?
Speaker 3: Is it? Or no?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Okay, we are going to collectively, the three of us
Speaker 1: go to dinner together with one person.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay.
Speaker 3: I got a suggestion that's not on any of our lists,
Speaker 3: and I think we would all agree, not for political reasons,
Speaker 3: just because we want to. We want to hear him
Speaker 3: talk this shit, okay, and that is d Trump. I
Speaker 3: think we all want to hear that man talk that
Speaker 3: mad ship for hours just because it's fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1: I I mean, I don't disagree with that. I feel like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I feel like the problem is there.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't feel like it's conversation because he would start
Speaker 1: talking and he won't stop. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to hear all that ship.
Speaker 1: I want to hear him talk the most ship ever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. I would have.
Speaker 2: I would have a hard time with that funnier.
Speaker 1: What do you what do you think the three of
Speaker 1: us would enjoy a dinner with.
Speaker 2: So I actually think the three of us would enjoy
Speaker 2: Keanu the most if I'm being honest. Well, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: if it's somebody that we haven't said, Johnny Depp.
Speaker 1: That's a good one. Stop tapping, Okay, who's doing not
Speaker 1: taps on the table. Jordan's got that fucking that, George
Speaker 1: got that nine miles high? Since Jesus, what am I
Speaker 1: at the fucking Wall of China? You were up and
Speaker 1: fucking cheese it dust earlier, asshole, just like fucking Jimmy
Speaker 1: was in the bathroom snorting.
Speaker 3: Preservatives right up the nose.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, I think would be a really fun
Speaker 1: one for us, like to keep us in stitch out.
Speaker 1: It's just something about it, like somewhere around his style,
Speaker 1: Woul somebody like Chappelle, just like I would agree with Chappelle,
Speaker 1: just such a cool dude, Like he's gonna sit there
Speaker 1: and light a cigarette. You're gonna You're gonna be in
Speaker 1: something down the earth too, Yeah, way down to earth. Yep.
Speaker 2: I would I agree with that one. I could do that,
Speaker 2: the three of us.
Speaker 1: I could do that. Yeah, yeah, there's the three of us,
Speaker 1: not not not necessarily, as the podcast just the three
Speaker 1: of us, like we're all going to dinner and yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just talking ship. Yeah, he rolls up, he rolls
Speaker 1: up higher than a kite, and he's just like, let's
Speaker 1: talk for a couple of hours. Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know, I wouldn't even want him to do any
Speaker 2: of his character. I would just want the raw hymn.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. Yeah, bounce the joke
Speaker 1: office every now and then, yeah yeah yeah, every every
Speaker 1: once in a while. Just something, give us, give us something,
Speaker 1: could even be an old joke, you know, oh absolutely,
Speaker 1: all right. I like it. I really like that sagment.
Speaker 1: I like this the rundown it was. It was really
Speaker 1: well put together. I liked the blend of it. It
Speaker 1: was very back and forth, kind of weird dynamic, but
Speaker 1: it all played well together.
Speaker 2: So it's a good time.
Speaker 1: So Days on de Equel, episode one sixty one, Right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, catch next week, peace out later.
Speaker 2: So I was going to try and tell you guys
Speaker 2: a joke about isis, but I didn't think that i'd
Speaker 2: nail the execution, So instead I'll tell you about this
Speaker 2: conversation I overheard where the son was like, hey, dad,
Speaker 2: if I was gay, would you still love me? And
Speaker 2: I was like, don't be silly. You're an accident. I've
Speaker 2: never loved you nice.
Speaker 3: When you said nail execution, I thought you were to
Speaker 3: go to a Jesus joke.
Speaker 2: Cross that one off your list.
Speaker 1: Oh,