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Speaker 1: My name's David. I'm not sure if that's my real name,

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but it's possible. I decided to use David a long

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time ago. I like it because it's forgettable. They're countless

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David's in the world. They try my best to be invisible.

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Life's better that way. For as long as I can remember,

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I've always been plagued by horrible nightmares. I'll wake up

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in a state of panic, shouting and flailing around in

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the dark, but I can never remember why. As soon

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as I'm conscious, the dreams crumble and fall away. For

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many years, I could never recall what was happening in

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those dreams. Oh, I would wake up screaming, how about you?

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Do you remember your dreams? Do you recognize the faces

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in your nightmares? Speaking of life, it's probably safe to

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say mine's been a lot different from yours. I have

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no driver's license, no insurance payments, no credit score, none

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of that stuff. That live wherever I can, for as

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long as I can. For the past six months, I

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was squatting in the offices of an abandoned warehouse. The

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office space was my domain, and the rest of the

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buildings belong to the wildlife. It was much better than

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my last home. Place had running water, power and heat,

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and the ceiling didn't link. All in all, that was

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probably the best home I've ever had. So hoping I

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could stay there for a long time, just me and

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the raccoons, I could stay there forever. I have no

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idea what will happen next. All I know for sure

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is there'll be strange places, sinister faces. Beyond that. Your

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guess is as good as mine. When I first moved

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into the warehouse, I found an unexpected windfall. In the

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break room, they left a full size refrigerator behind, along

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with a hot plate, the microwave, and a coffee maker.

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In the cupboards, I found an assortment of dishes and

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cooking utensils. They even left several full tins of coffee,

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along with five containers of coffee whitener and a box

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full of sugar packets. It almost brought a tear to

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my eye. Small comforts of the bedrock of civilization. Toothbrush,

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sticky deodor it, a hot cup of coffee, the small

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comforts who would make us human. They also left behind

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a portable stereo. I don't really listen to music. I

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don't understand it to be honest, but I always have

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talk radio playing in the background. Whenever I turn it off.

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How I can hear is the faint buzz of the

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florescent lights. I even have it playing softly when I sleep.

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Find it comforting to hear a voice that isn't mine.

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I don't really speak to anyone, and for the most part,

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no one tries to talk to me. AM radio is

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a safe and easy substitute for social interaction scratches a

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primal itch to be a part of a group without

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all the mess and danger that comes with the real deal.

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Having a stable housing situation allowed me to develop a

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morning routine coffee, restroom, breakfast, then a workout. My workout

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takes roughly two hours, and I did it every morning

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without fail. It's the best part of my day. I

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use plastic jugs full of gravel for weights. I'd lift

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until my entire body was burning with exhaustion. She finished

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off the workout with jump rope and working the heavy bag.

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Jump rope was literally an eight foot length of rope

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I found in the warehouse. The heavy bag or the

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patchwork creation of canvas fishing line. I filed it with

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roughly one hundred pounds of dirt from the empty lot

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behind the warehouse. Found the tarp flapping around in the wind,

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and it's the shipping yard. And the fishing line was

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a score from a dumpster behind a strip Mall the

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gloves I used to protect my hands also come from

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the dumpster. A few stitches with the fishing line, and

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they were as good as new. We live in a

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throwaway society. We throw away food, material objects, and we

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even throw away other people into the trash. They go

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wasted and then forgotten. I guess there's a metaphor in

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there somewhere, but I don't know what it is. I

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don't really understand metaphors either. Sometimes I don't get it

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and someone's joking with me, And even when I do

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get the joke, I don't know why I should laugh.

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My understanding of my environment is purely practical nature. I

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understand warmth, comfort, I understand cold and pain. My hobbies

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are working out, scavenging from dumpsters, and avoiding contact with

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other people. Everything else in this world is alien to me,

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falls outside the realm of my experience. I would punch

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and kick the bag until I was gasping for breath.

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Then I'd do it some more. After my workout, i'd

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head to the restroom to take a bath in the sink.

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This is the worst part of my day because I'd

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have to look at myself in the mirror. The man

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who stared back at me was a ghost. It was nothing.

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He drifted around on the fringes of reality, unseen and unheard.

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His existence was meaningless. I've never been sure what it

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means to be a good person. I think most of

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us fall somewhere between half decent and horrible. Sometimes we

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choose to do good, sometimes we choose to do evil.

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I can go either way, and sometimes an action that

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would ordinarily be considered evil is actually and not positive

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for good. Personally, I have no problem with telling a

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lie for my own benefit. I'd admit that I'm also

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something of a thief. On occasion, I've taken things that

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weren't mine to take, and just recently I started murdering people.

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It all started with the dead body. The first time

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I saw him, I was rooting around into a dumpster

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behind a seven to eleven variety store. I turned around

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with a stale loaf of wonderbread in each hand, and

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I found myself looking at a very young boy dressed

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in only a grimy pair of denim overalls and a

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T shirt and a cold winter night. He was barefoot

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on the frozen concrete. He was painfully thin. His skin

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was pale, ashy blue. In the glow of my flashlight,

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he looked like a ghost. The boy pressed a skinny

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finger against his lips to silence me, and he beckoned

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me to follow him. I watched in disbelief as he

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drifted around the corner of the building and disappeared. I hesitated,

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and then I dropped my scavenged loaves of bread. Chased

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after him. I was convinced the boy was some kind

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of hallucination. But no there he was trudging around with

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the soles of his feet against the concrete. I shuffled

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after him on stiff legs despite the bitter cold. I

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started sweating under my jacket. I felt an uncomfortable pressure

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in my chest, suffocating mixture of fear and dread. But

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I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop following him. I felt

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like I was no longer in control. It soon became

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apparent no one else could see the dead boy. People

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would shuffle aside to avoid crossing his path, but they

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wouldn't look at him. A lot of them had vaguely

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uneasy expressions on their face as he passed by, but

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no one looked at him. Eventually, the boy stopped in

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front of a pizza parlor. He beckoned me with his

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finger again, his expression blank and empty. Reluctantly, I shuffled closer.

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My heart was hammering in my chest. He pointed to

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a customer through the grimy window. I didn't recognize him.

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It was just some older guy eating his pizza, a

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random streat, minding his own business. The boy pushed something

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into my hand. It was my own knife, a folding

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blade I found in the dumpster behind a sporting goods store.

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I had to replace the rivet, and then it was

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good as new. The business end was almost five inches long,

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and I kept it very sharp. The dead boy stared

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at me, his skinny arms dangling at his sides. I

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looked around to make sure no one was watching. There

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was no one else around, just me and my unsettling

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new companion. I quietly asked, who are you? Are you real?

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I don't think you're real. The boy silently pointed at

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the customer through the glass again, and then he was gone.

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I was standing by myself with my pocket knife in hand,

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watching a stranger through a window. I spun around and

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hurried away into the night. I went straight home to

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the warehouse, and I hid under the blankets for a while.

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I didn't know what was going on, and I didn't

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want to know. I just wanted to be left alone.

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It took a long time to fall asleep. As usual,

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I jolted awake in a state of raw panic. However,

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something was different this time. I could remember the final

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moments of my nightmare. I clicked on the lamp beside

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my mattress, and I scampered down the hall to grab

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some office stationery. I jotted down everything I could remember

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in point for him. I wrote, I'm outside sometime during

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the summer months June through September. I'm running away from something.

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The grass is long and full of weeds. It's a

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meadow or a bonyard. There's a building to my right,

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big red. It might be a barn. There's crop growing

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in a field to my left, tall green, probably corn.

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And that was all I could remember, just a brief sliver,

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hardly more than two blinks in a heartbeat, but it

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was something I laid back down on my mattress, cradling

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my precious new memory close to my heart. I didn't

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sleep another wink that night. I just stared up into

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the darkness, my heart thumping too fast in my chest,

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and I waited for sunrise. I met Christy a few

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nights later. Interacting with other people really isn't my thing,

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but I felt like I needed to stop her before

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it was too late. She was trying to kill someone

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in broad daylight. I heard a disturbance of screech and

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cursing on my way home from my dumpster rounds. I

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could hear it from three blocks away. As I drew

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closer to the source of the ruckus, I got ready

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to cross the street. I already mind my own business,

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and I hope others would do the same. It's better

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that way. Round the corner and saw two young women

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pounding on each other in the middle of the street.

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Both of them were punching with one hand and trying

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their damnedest to rip out a chunk of hair with

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the other. A couple of old drunks were standing nearby,

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wheezing with laughter and egging them on. There was a

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chaotic scene, and I wanted no part of it. One

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of the women managed to drag the other to the ground.

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She hit her head against the curb on the way down,

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and she instantly went limp. The victor cried out in triumph,

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and she scrambled on top of her fallen opponent. She

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landed a few sloppy punches. She grabbed the chunk of

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pavement off the road. She screamed, that's what you get,

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and she hammered the unconscious girls square in the face.

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I'm honored, ah shit, and I pulled the victor off

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of her soon to be murder victim. She wriggled in

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my grasp like an alley cat, bellowing at me to

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fuck off and let her go. I dragged her a

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short distance away and tried to reason with her. I said,

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if you stop now, no one will care. If you

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don't stop, you'll go to prison. The girl roared, I

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don't give a fuck about jail. She tried to bite

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my arm. I shoved her away and prepared myself for

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a scuffle. As I expected, she immediately charged at me,

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so I planted my boot in the narrow midsection. She

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flew back and went down in a tangle of limbs

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on the street. The drunks howled with demented laughter. It

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was the greatest thing they'd ever seen. When I'm stumbled

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over burbling a stream of boozy nonsense. As he reached

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from my shoulder, I slapped his hand out of the

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air and grunted fuck off. Even though he was pretty

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much obliterated, the drunk was still wise enough to do

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as he was. I turned back to the girl and said,

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you one, so leave it alone. Don't lose your freedom.

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The girl shot me a smoldering look through her tangled,

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greasy hair, and she gasped that bitch stole from me.

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It gave her a tired nod and sign go ahead,

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then do what you gotta do. I'm leaving. I heard

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a patter of scurying footsteps as she came running up

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behind me. I turned and got ready for another attack,

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but the girl held up her hands and gasped, no,

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I'm just I'm not gonna. I just like, yeah, you're right,

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she's not worth it. I gave her a slight nod

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and muttered again, it's good. Take care. They started walking away.

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She scrambled to catch up over stuffed knapsack balancing against

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her back with every step. She panted, Hey, wait a sec,

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where are you going right now? I snapped, I'm going

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home and kept walking. I was sincerely regretting my decision

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getting involved. I didn't want this interaction, or any interaction

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for that matter. I wanted to be left alone. The

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girl started jogging to keep up to me, her face

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pale and strained. She said, you're lucky. You know, I

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could have pulled a gun on you or something. Right

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and then what? I curtly answered, but she didn't, and

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I stepped up the pace. The girl wheezed, holy shit,

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how do you walk so fast? Slow down, man, listen.

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I'm sorry I came at you like that. I was

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just mad. You know, you're right, you did the right thing,

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like you, you know, a good samaritan, you know, being

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a good citizen and all that shit. Hey, come on,

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I want to talk for a second. It tersely replied

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no thanks, and kept plowing onward. The girl cursed under

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00:15:53,759 --> 00:15:56,159
her breath and grabbed my arm, digging the heels of

237
00:15:56,159 --> 00:15:59,480
her sneakers into the sidewalk as an anchor. Her face

238
00:15:59,519 --> 00:16:03,200
was a mask desperation. I disengaged myself from her clutching

239
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,600
hand and I firmly shook my head. No, I don't

240
00:16:06,639 --> 00:16:09,600
have any money. I don't have any drugs, no meth,

241
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,080
no crack, no fentanyl, no drugs at all. I don't

242
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:18,600
have what you need. She waved her hands in the

243
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,240
air and stammered, No, no, no, it's nothing like that.

244
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,039
I just I really need a place to crash tonight.

245
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,080
You know, I got like kicked out of the motel

246
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,440
because I couldn't pay, and I don't have anywhere to go.

247
00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:31,399
I've been on the street for like three days, and

248
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:38,080
I'm cold, I'm tired, and I'm broke. She hesitated, and

249
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,399
then added, we could talk about it, you know, if

250
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,679
you are like, maybe you want something, I could I could,

251
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:47,600
I could do something for you. I shook my head

252
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,960
again and told her, no, I don't want that. Look,

253
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,480
you don't know me. I don't know you. Let's keep

254
00:16:54,519 --> 00:16:59,240
it that way. She clutched for my arm again and chirped,

255
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,000
my name is Chris, how about you? What's your name?

256
00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:10,160
Against my better judgment, I answered it's David. She wrote, there, see,

257
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,200
now we know each other. Man. I'm in a beat

258
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,920
spot right now. I promise I won't mess with you.

259
00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:17,480
I won't do anything shady. I'm not like that. I

260
00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:20,640
just need to be inside somewhere. I need to get warm.

261
00:17:21,759 --> 00:17:28,400
I grimaced and rubbed my temples. What a nightmare, I asked,

262
00:17:28,519 --> 00:17:31,599
What about the shelter. She looked down at her feet,

263
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:35,440
and in a listless tone, she replied, shelter kicked me out.

264
00:17:37,079 --> 00:17:40,240
I really have nowhere to go. I opened my mouth

265
00:17:40,279 --> 00:17:44,440
to say no again, but instead and I heard myself

266
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:51,759
ask are you hungry? Christie's face flushed red with a

267
00:17:51,759 --> 00:17:56,200
bleak mixture of gratitude and shame. She whispered, Yeah, I am,

268
00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:03,359
I'm really hungry. Thank you. My heart was pounding. I

269
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,799
felt nauseous. This was all wrong. I couldn't have a

270
00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:11,640
stranger in my living space, especially not some wildcat lady

271
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,839
off the street. But I knew what it was like

272
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,039
to be cold and hungry. I knew the dread of

273
00:18:18,039 --> 00:18:21,599
not having a place to go. And I honestly didn't

274
00:18:21,599 --> 00:18:24,839
blame her for trying to kill the thief. It's hard

275
00:18:24,839 --> 00:18:27,799
out here. You have to enforce your intention to stay

276
00:18:27,799 --> 00:18:32,880
alive by any means necessary. That's just how it is.

277
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,319
She was holding my sleeve. That shook her hand off

278
00:18:38,319 --> 00:18:42,799
and muttered, come on, then, let's get you something to eat.

279
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:51,079
Christie claims she was twenty years old. She looked like

280
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:54,720
she'd been anywhere from fifteen to forty, hard to tell.

281
00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:57,799
Her eyes were sunken and hollow, and her teeth were

282
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,799
starting to turn brown. She was deaf, an addict of

283
00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:03,640
some kind. As part of town is littered with them.

284
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,880
They steal, rob and sell themselves until they're all used up,

285
00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:14,519
and then they die. Happens every day. Her name and

286
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,839
age may have been false, but Christie wasn't lying when

287
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,680
she said she was hungry. She devoured a large can

288
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,359
of tomato soup, two peanut butter sandwiches, and an entire

289
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,640
sleeve of stale crackers. She washed it all down with

290
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,839
several glasses of powdered milk. When she was done, she

291
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,680
gave me a faint smile and said, I was good.

292
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:37,960
I needed that, man. This place is fucking awesome. I

293
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,240
gotta find a place like this. Hell, yes, squatting is

294
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:45,400
the best way to go. Is this sweet deal? Darkly?

295
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:48,200
I mentioned well last forever, but yeah, I like it.

296
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,440
No one knows I'm here. Christy drew her knees up

297
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,799
to her chest. It wrapped her arms around them. It

298
00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:00,359
made her look like a child. I pitied her myself,

299
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,240
wishing I could help her. But this would never happen

300
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,079
in the real world. I knew she'd probably be dead

301
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:10,960
within a year or two. It was inevitable. Christy saw

302
00:20:11,039 --> 00:20:13,519
me studying her, and she gave me a shy little smile.

303
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:19,440
She said, no one knows except me. I'm special. Don't worry,

304
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:26,880
I won't tell anyone. Her expression turned somber. She sat

305
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:31,000
straight up in her chair and asked, Okay, so we're

306
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,799
good here, right? You said you don't want anything like

307
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:38,000
you know. The shiver raced down my spine. Then I

308
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,799
fent a gurgle of nausea in my stomach. I fear

309
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,960
close contact of any kind. If someone's close enough to

310
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,799
touch me, i'd start to panic. I grunted, No, none

311
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:53,920
of that. I don't I don't like that. The look

312
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,519
of relief spread across her narrow features. She said, good,

313
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:03,200
I don't like it much either. Cool. I got up

314
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,440
to wash the dishes, and Christy lapsed into a brooding silence.

315
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,519
I could hear the feet of her chairs sliding around

316
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:14,400
on the floor as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Finally,

317
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,480
she blurted out, Hey, where's the bathroom in this place?

318
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,240
Is it somewhere down the hole out there? I nodded,

319
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:26,799
and she said, awesome, I'll be right back a few

320
00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:31,400
minutes past, then a few more. I knew what she

321
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,559
was doing. When she came back. She had a glassy

322
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,400
sheen in her eyes. She made it halfway across the

323
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,319
break room, and then she gave me a cross eyed

324
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:46,559
look and mumbled, I just I got a Her eyes

325
00:21:46,599 --> 00:21:51,839
fluttered and her dopey smile melted away. She started to

326
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,680
lean forward at the waist, her scrawny arms dangling like

327
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,880
wind chimes. I left her standing there and went out

328
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,240
to the warehouse to round up and packing materials for

329
00:22:01,279 --> 00:22:05,160
a makeshift bed. She was still teetering around in the

330
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,480
same spot when I came back. I set up a

331
00:22:07,519 --> 00:22:09,920
nest of cardboard inserts and bubble wrap in the corner

332
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:16,000
of the break room. Then I went to bed. I

333
00:22:16,039 --> 00:22:18,880
hope she'd be gone in the morning, just a mild

334
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,079
bump in my road of solitude. I didn't want to

335
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:28,160
know her. People are poisonous. If you ingest limited amounts

336
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:33,680
over a period of time, you might be okay. Over exposure, however,

337
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:43,000
can prove to be fatal. That night, I suffered through

338
00:22:43,039 --> 00:22:46,480
another intense nightmare, as per usual. When I woke up,

339
00:22:46,519 --> 00:22:48,839
I realized it was the same dream as the night before,

340
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,559
and this time I could remember even more details. I

341
00:22:52,599 --> 00:22:55,519
grabbed my stationary pad and added these points to the list.

342
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,119
I'm sitting at a large table with a bunch of kids.

343
00:22:59,319 --> 00:23:03,359
It's too a dult, a man and a woman. Everyone

344
00:23:03,519 --> 00:23:06,119
has a plate, but the man and the woman are

345
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:11,880
the only ones eating. The rest of us are starving. Now.

346
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,880
I'm running outside, just like the last time. The building

347
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,960
is definitely a barn. It's very early in the morning,

348
00:23:18,079 --> 00:23:22,599
or maybe just after sunset. I'm running away from a fire.

349
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,559
There's smoke in the air. I'd hear the fire blazing

350
00:23:26,559 --> 00:23:29,000
behind me. I can feel the heat on my back.

351
00:23:33,839 --> 00:23:35,960
I didn't understand what any of that meant, but I

352
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:42,640
knew how it made me feel. It made me feel very,

353
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:47,160
very bad. It was the same feeling I had while

354
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,440
following the dead boy down the street, a sense of

355
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:55,880
impending doom. Something was going to happen. An epiphany was

356
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,119
looming on the horizon, and I knew it would be

357
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:06,039
explosive and horrendous in every possible way. I patted down

358
00:24:06,079 --> 00:24:08,440
to the rest room and I used the urinal in

359
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,000
the dark. But I was done. I poked my head

360
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,759
into the break room to check on Christie. She was

361
00:24:13,799 --> 00:24:17,119
snoring away in her bed of packing materials. Even though

362
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,079
she was dead asleep, her brow was still creased with

363
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,599
a slight frown. I wonder if she knew the demons

364
00:24:24,599 --> 00:24:29,839
that haunted her sleep. In the end, it wouldn't matter

365
00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:33,319
either way. They would soon drag her to the underworld,

366
00:24:34,599 --> 00:24:40,000
I thought to myself, and then I'm next. I felt

367
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:43,680
sick to my stomach. I didn't want this girl in

368
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,599
my life. She made me remember that I'm human, and

369
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,920
I resented that deeply. I didn't want to be human.

370
00:24:53,200 --> 00:25:00,480
I just wanted to exist. I murmured, go the fuck away,

371
00:25:00,559 --> 00:25:04,279
and I tiptoed back to my bedroom. I didn't think

372
00:25:04,319 --> 00:25:07,279
i'd fall asleep again, but I was out like a

373
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:11,000
light in no time, and this time I didn't dream

374
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:22,200
at all. I slept like the dead. In the morning,

375
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,240
I found Christy nursing a mug of coffee in the

376
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,200
break room, patiently waiting for me to get up. I

377
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,480
cooked us both breakfast on the hot plate, but she

378
00:25:30,599 --> 00:25:35,359
barely ate anything. She was already high. She nodded off

379
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,039
for a while as she watched me and do my

380
00:25:37,079 --> 00:25:39,440
workout from a corner of the room, sitting on the

381
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,720
floor with her legs crossed beneath her and her eyes

382
00:25:42,759 --> 00:25:46,680
could focus again. She mumbled, you're like, you know, like

383
00:25:47,279 --> 00:25:51,160
freaking Batman over there. Were you one of those MMA

384
00:25:51,279 --> 00:25:55,559
fighters or something. I put my hands on my knees

385
00:25:55,599 --> 00:25:59,359
and gasped something like that. It was a long time ago,

386
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,039
truth is, I honestly didn't know where I learned to fight,

387
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,799
or when or how she's like my real name. That

388
00:26:06,839 --> 00:26:10,160
information was lost in the fog of the past. When

389
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,279
I caught my breath, I told her it's time for

390
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,759
you to go. You can wash up in the restroom

391
00:26:14,759 --> 00:26:17,759
before you leave if you feel like it. Honestly, you

392
00:26:17,799 --> 00:26:20,680
don't smell very good. I'll give you a towel you

393
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,240
can keep it when you're done. Her cheeks flushed pink

394
00:26:24,279 --> 00:26:27,440
with embarrassment. She looked away and muttered, I've been on

395
00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:31,720
the street for a while. What do you expect? Yeah, okay,

396
00:26:32,079 --> 00:26:35,480
thank you. When she was done, I hearded my unwonted

397
00:26:35,519 --> 00:26:38,559
guest to the back exit. She gave me an unhappy

398
00:26:38,599 --> 00:26:42,440
look and grumbled, this is it, huh. I clapped my

399
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:46,000
hands together and briskly replied, glad I could help. Now

400
00:26:46,039 --> 00:26:50,759
it's time to go. I pushed the door open and

401
00:26:50,799 --> 00:26:57,480
froze like a statue. The dead boy was standing on

402
00:26:57,519 --> 00:27:02,960
the crumbling sidewalk. He was still wearing the same T

403
00:27:03,079 --> 00:27:08,119
shirt and filthy overalls. The boy's ghostly feet were shockingly

404
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:12,799
pale against the oil stayed concrete. His gaunt, shriveled features

405
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,839
were modeled with splotches of purple and blue. Looked like

406
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,799
he had suffered a terrible beating before he died. The

407
00:27:20,839 --> 00:27:23,920
dead boy drifted closer. He held up his hand, his

408
00:27:24,039 --> 00:27:29,039
palm facing me. Then he gravely shook his head. The

409
00:27:29,079 --> 00:27:38,319
message was clear. He wanted to let her stay. Christie

410
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,680
lightly touched my arm and asked, hey, you okay, man,

411
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:45,720
what is it? Look kind of freaked out. I jerked

412
00:27:45,759 --> 00:27:47,799
away from her touch and I slammed the door shut.

413
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,720
I let out a shuddering breath and croaked, yeah, yeah,

414
00:27:50,759 --> 00:27:56,640
I'm okay. Look, I just changed my mind. You can

415
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,640
stay for a while if if that's what you want,

416
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:06,559
it's fine. Christy was clearly bewildered by this turn of events,

417
00:28:06,759 --> 00:28:09,519
but she was also very relieved that she wasn't going

418
00:28:09,559 --> 00:28:11,960
to be tossed onto the street. She clapped her hands

419
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,799
together and SHIRRP. That's awesome, man, You're a lifesaver for real.

420
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,119
You know that's why I followed you yesterday. I could

421
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,079
tell you were like you know that you were okay.

422
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:27,160
I gave her a distant look and grunted, I'm not

423
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:32,640
sure about that, but yeah, you can stay. Just don't

424
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,559
rob me. Okay. Almost everything I have came from a dumpster,

425
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,000
but I still hate to lose it. She scoffed and said,

426
00:28:40,039 --> 00:28:42,000
I fucking hate thieves. That's why I got booted from

427
00:28:42,039 --> 00:28:44,759
the hotel, because that bitch stole my money. I'd never

428
00:28:44,799 --> 00:28:48,039
steal from you, I swear to god. I gave her

429
00:28:48,039 --> 00:28:56,359
a stiff nod and said we'll see. I led her

430
00:28:56,359 --> 00:28:59,400
back to the office, and she immediately disappeared into the

431
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,799
restroom again. That was fine. Her addiction was none of

432
00:29:03,799 --> 00:29:06,839
my business. Frankly, I had bigger things to worry about.

433
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,799
My heart was still slamming in my chest. I was

434
00:29:10,839 --> 00:29:14,160
hoping the first incident was just a brief, unexplained break

435
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,279
with reality. But I was wrong. The dead Boy's presence

436
00:29:17,279 --> 00:29:20,680
felt like the weight of ten thousand sins, a mountain

437
00:29:20,839 --> 00:29:24,960
evil that would crush me into the ground. My haze

438
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:30,640
of blissful ignorance was in peril. I was afraid of

439
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:37,920
what would happen when that fog lifted. I was very afraid.

440
00:29:43,599 --> 00:29:49,920
Five days later, I committed my first murder. I just

441
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,720
said goodbye to Christy, who was on her way to

442
00:29:51,759 --> 00:29:54,559
work her usual corner. She woke up sick that morning,

443
00:29:54,559 --> 00:29:56,240
and there was only one thing that could make the

444
00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:00,519
sickness go away. It stirred something in my heart. But

445
00:30:01,279 --> 00:30:04,559
reality isn't pleasant on the side of the city. There

446
00:30:04,599 --> 00:30:07,039
was nothing I can do for her. I told her

447
00:30:07,119 --> 00:30:09,319
to be safe, and then I had it off to

448
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,880
check out the dumpster behind the dollar store. After we

449
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,319
parted ways, the dead boy stepped out from behind the

450
00:30:15,359 --> 00:30:19,200
street light, then as a rail, gray as ashes, he

451
00:30:19,279 --> 00:30:22,279
motioned for me to follow him. Once again, I was

452
00:30:22,319 --> 00:30:25,720
compelled to obey his silent command. He led me down

453
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,960
the street for a few blocks, walking corpse who was

454
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,359
invisible to everyone but me. He stopped in front of

455
00:30:32,359 --> 00:30:35,039
a liquor store with bars on the windows that he

456
00:30:35,079 --> 00:30:40,119
waited for me to catch up. I already knew who

457
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:47,200
was inside. My stomach did a slow, sickly roll in

458
00:30:47,279 --> 00:30:53,400
my gut. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't prepared for this

459
00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:57,079
at all. I stood there for a minute or two,

460
00:30:57,119 --> 00:30:59,680
shivering in the cold, as the dead boy stared up

461
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,759
at me, his face slack and expressionless. I knew I

462
00:31:03,759 --> 00:31:06,680
should just turn around and run away, but I couldn't

463
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:10,759
force myself to move. And then my target came bustling

464
00:31:10,799 --> 00:31:13,720
through the door, clutching a bottle in a paper bag.

465
00:31:13,839 --> 00:31:16,599
As he headed down the street. I pulled up my

466
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:21,759
hood and leaned against the wall as he passed by.

467
00:31:22,559 --> 00:31:24,720
I was just another bit of flotsam and the vast

468
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:30,279
ocean of a less fortunate, unknown and unseen. He didn't

469
00:31:30,279 --> 00:31:33,359
even look at me. I turned to speak to my

470
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:38,640
troublesome spirit, but he was gone. I whispered, what fuck,

471
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,839
and I started following the guy at a distance. It

472
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:48,519
had to happen. I didn't have a choice. I got

473
00:31:48,519 --> 00:31:50,799
my opportunity when the guy ducked into an alley to

474
00:31:50,839 --> 00:31:54,799
relieve himself against a garbage can. I crept up behind him,

475
00:31:54,839 --> 00:31:57,759
my knife already in hand, and I pressed the tip

476
00:31:57,839 --> 00:31:59,799
to the side of his neck. He let out a

477
00:32:00,119 --> 00:32:03,880
artled squawk and twisted away by reflex, squirting piss and

478
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,599
an arcing slash across the decaying brick wall. I shoved

479
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,119
him face first into the wall, knocking over the garbage

480
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,759
can with a loud bang and a clatter of empty cans.

481
00:32:13,039 --> 00:32:16,400
I snarled, don't turn around, be quiet and do as

482
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,839
you're told. He quavered, do it, don't do anything crazy, Okay,

483
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:24,319
take it easy. I took a breath to steady myself.

484
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:29,119
I felt like I was about to faint. I leaned

485
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:36,240
in close behind him and breathed, who are you? What's

486
00:32:36,279 --> 00:32:41,000
your name? My hostage stammered, what do you look? Look

487
00:32:41,039 --> 00:32:42,720
you to my wallet and go man, it's in my

488
00:32:42,759 --> 00:32:47,920
back pocket. Whatever I got in there, it's yours. I

489
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,680
fished it out of his pocket with one hand, still

490
00:32:50,839 --> 00:32:52,960
holding the knife against his neck. With the other one,

491
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,799
I flipped it open and squinted at his driver's license

492
00:32:56,039 --> 00:32:59,440
through the grimy plastic window. He wheezed, I got like

493
00:32:59,599 --> 00:33:02,359
I ate bucks in there. Take it. I won't tell nobody,

494
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:10,319
I said, Stanley Mortimer Garland, that's your name? Yeah, let

495
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:15,000
me look at you. I spun him around and pressed

496
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,440
the knife under his eye. I studied his face carefully,

497
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:23,000
but I still didn't recognize him. I ground, do you

498
00:33:23,119 --> 00:33:27,519
know me? Stanley? Do you know who I am? His

499
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,160
eyes began to water, and he blinked the tears away.

500
00:33:30,599 --> 00:33:33,759
He gasped, No, I don't know you. Look, man, I

501
00:33:33,759 --> 00:33:37,240
don't even. He trailed off, and a flush of red

502
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:42,400
spread across his broad acne scarred face. He choked, Oh,

503
00:33:42,599 --> 00:33:49,039
holy shit, how the hell are you still alive? I

504
00:33:49,079 --> 00:33:52,319
felt a spike of adrenaline slam into my heart. I demanded,

505
00:33:52,359 --> 00:33:55,000
do you know who I am? I was a kid

506
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,359
at the time. Right, It was on a farm, There

507
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:01,519
was a cornfield, at a barn. I poked the knife

508
00:34:01,519 --> 00:34:03,839
into his skin for emphasis, and a fat drop of

509
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,920
blood oozed a trail down his stubby cheek. He croaked,

510
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:11,400
you don't remember, that's look. That's probably for the best. Okay,

511
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,280
you get me. You don't want to know, Just just

512
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:18,840
let it die. I felt a flare of rage, and

513
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,199
I seized it with desperate hands. I needed that anchor

514
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,719
or my nerve would break. I would simply flee into

515
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:28,239
the night. I hissed, I'll let you die, motherfucker, right

516
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,880
here in this alley, right now, frozen in a puddle

517
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,000
of piss, with your deck hanging out. Tell me what

518
00:34:33,079 --> 00:34:35,719
happened on that farm, Stanley, tell me everything, you know.

519
00:34:38,199 --> 00:34:45,239
His eyes were wide and wet. I'm terrified, He murmured.

520
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,679
I didn't agree with what was going on in there.

521
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,719
It was it was just a job. I mean, that

522
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,079
didn't That don't make it right. But I never agreed

523
00:34:54,119 --> 00:34:57,119
with it. After the fire, I stopped associating with those people.

524
00:34:57,119 --> 00:35:01,280
I swear to God, my face was burning hot in

525
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:05,840
the bitter cold. I gassed yeah, a fire. I remember that.

526
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,239
I remember running away from a fire. What was going

527
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,280
on in there? Stanley? I can remember sitting at a

528
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,719
table with a bunch of other kids, and we didn't

529
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,639
have anything to eat. There were two adults, a man

530
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,639
and a woman, and they were eating, but the rest

531
00:35:17,679 --> 00:35:20,440
of us had nothing to eat. An empty plate. Was

532
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:25,159
that you? My hostage blinked away more tears. He begged,

533
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,199
just forget about it, man, please, just it's over. You

534
00:35:28,199 --> 00:35:31,320
know you're alive. Let let it go. I suddenly became

535
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,119
aware he was slowly easing something out of his coat pocket.

536
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,480
It was almost too late. I grabbed his arm and

537
00:35:36,519 --> 00:35:39,280
the bullet pinged off the wall behind me. I shoved

538
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,760
his gun hand into the air and drove my knife

539
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:46,400
into his fat, sagging stomach. He screamed, are you crazy, pastard?

540
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,239
And the gun went off a second time. I dragged

541
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,519
the blade upward, opening his guts, and I rammed my

542
00:35:51,559 --> 00:35:54,559
head into his nose. He went down hard, the pistol

543
00:35:54,599 --> 00:35:58,719
tumbling from his nerveless fingers. I kicked him in the face.

544
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,719
His skull made a dreadful crunching sound as it bounced

545
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:07,840
off the wall, and then he was still. His intestines

546
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:12,280
were oozing onto the filthy concrete, riding on a slop

547
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:18,719
of yellowish fat curds, dark steaming blood. My mind was

548
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:23,840
a roaring tornado of panic. I was shaking all over.

549
00:36:26,159 --> 00:36:30,039
I groaned, Oh, fucked me. I grabbed his wallet out

550
00:36:30,079 --> 00:36:31,840
of the puddle of piss and blood at my feet.

551
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,199
I wiped it off on his coat, followed by the

552
00:36:35,199 --> 00:36:38,480
blade of my knife, and I ran away as far

553
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,599
as I could. I ran until I couldn't run anymore.

554
00:36:41,679 --> 00:36:44,360
My sides and my lungs were on fire. My mind

555
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:49,960
was on fire. I killed him, This man who I

556
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,880
couldn't remember to save my life, and I was glad.

557
00:36:54,559 --> 00:37:02,559
It felt good to kill him. It felt like coming home.

558
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,920
The jittery high I got from murdering MI Sir Stanley

559
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,840
Garland was extremely intense. By the time I got back

560
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,079
to the warehouse, I was almost hyper ventilating from a

561
00:37:20,159 --> 00:37:24,519
rush baronoia. Was I losing my mind? He admitted that

562
00:37:24,559 --> 00:37:26,880
he knew me, and he admitted he was involved in

563
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:32,599
my past somehow. But what if none of that actually happened?

564
00:37:33,679 --> 00:37:39,000
The dead boy, the memories disguised as nightmares Stanley's veiled confession.

565
00:37:39,039 --> 00:37:42,000
What if it was all in my head? What if

566
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:46,559
I just killed an innocent stranger and took his wallet.

567
00:37:49,159 --> 00:37:52,360
It briefly crossed my mind that even the murder itself

568
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,719
could have been delusion. With the blood on my pants

569
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:59,119
and my jacket said otherwise. The second I stepped to

570
00:37:59,199 --> 00:38:01,960
the door, I stripped naked and shoved everything into a

571
00:38:02,039 --> 00:38:05,079
garbage bag. I felt a stab of regret and losing

572
00:38:05,119 --> 00:38:07,960
the coat and the boots. It was hard to find

573
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,920
stuff like that in good condition. I scrubbed myself at

574
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,519
the sink of the restroom head to toe. After I

575
00:38:13,519 --> 00:38:16,480
got dressed, I thoroughly mopped all the floors. When it

576
00:38:16,519 --> 00:38:21,679
was all done, I forced myself to stop panicking. For

577
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:27,280
better or for worse, it happened. There was no going back.

578
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,280
Now it was time to figure out who that guy

579
00:38:30,519 --> 00:38:34,039
was and what role he played in my forgotten past.

580
00:38:36,159 --> 00:38:37,880
I sat down in the break room and went through

581
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,159
the contents of his wallet. Stanley had both a regular

582
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:45,760
driver's license and also a commercial driver's license. His full

583
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:50,480
name on both licenses was Stanley Mortimer Garland. There were

584
00:38:50,519 --> 00:38:52,880
also a jumble of cards in there, along with some

585
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:59,960
old receipts, neatly folded check stub, and eighty dollars in cash.

586
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,400
Among the pilot cards at his wallet, I found a

587
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,880
business card for a local contractor. His business was called

588
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,679
Paul Stephen's Contracting. A line of text beneath the company

589
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:14,000
name read fences, decks, landscaping, and a whole lot more.

590
00:39:15,079 --> 00:39:19,199
The Czech stub was from the same company. After deductions,

591
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,440
Stanley had netted ten thousand dollars in a two week period.

592
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,639
I scribbled down some notes on one of my trusty

593
00:39:26,639 --> 00:39:30,039
stationary pads. Then I tossed the wallet into the garbage bag.

594
00:39:30,559 --> 00:39:32,679
I intended to burn it to ashes in the shipping

595
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,960
yard sometime after midnight. In a better area of town,

596
00:39:36,039 --> 00:39:37,920
this kind of activity might draw a lot of attention.

597
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,079
I didn't have to worry about that in my neighborhood.

598
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:43,760
In my neighborhood, the police only came to track a

599
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:49,440
chalk outline around another dead body. It was a dystopian hellscape,

600
00:39:49,559 --> 00:39:55,079
but it was home. I didn't know anything else. Christy

601
00:39:55,199 --> 00:39:57,480
came back a while later with a half a pizza

602
00:39:57,519 --> 00:40:00,000
and a few cans of beer. I declined the beer.

603
00:40:00,559 --> 00:40:03,800
I devoured the pizza. I didn't have it very often,

604
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,679
so it was a rare treat. She sipped a beer

605
00:40:06,679 --> 00:40:09,880
and complained for a while about her clients. I absently

606
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,880
nodded along, letting her voice wash into the background as

607
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:16,119
I listened to the local AM radio station during the

608
00:40:16,119 --> 00:40:18,800
eleven PM news bullet and they briefly mentioned a dead

609
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:22,079
body that had been found in an alleyway. I felt

610
00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:27,840
my stomach titan, but I remained calm. There was a

611
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:31,360
decent chance they were talking about a different body. Murder

612
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,440
is almost a daily occurrence in the side of town.

613
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,800
Christy came back from the restroom and she knotted out

614
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,400
at the table Eventually she mumbled something and lurched away

615
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,760
down the hall. When she was gone, I took the

616
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,239
trash bag outside and I burned it in the bonfire

617
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:51,920
of broken palettes. I stared into the flames and considered

618
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:55,320
my next move. The contents of his wallet had produced

619
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,920
a few leads, and I tended to follow up on them.

620
00:40:59,199 --> 00:41:01,480
They watched as the fire wound down to a pile

621
00:41:01,519 --> 00:41:04,079
of embers, and then I turned in for the night.

622
00:41:05,559 --> 00:41:08,199
I woke up just before dawn, with the scream lodged

623
00:41:08,199 --> 00:41:11,840
in my throat. I grabbed my notepad and I wrote.

624
00:41:12,159 --> 00:41:14,840
Stanley was driving us somewhere on a school bus. He

625
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,880
looked a lot younger, maybe twenty or thirty years There

626
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,920
was another man standing at the front of the bus.

627
00:41:21,199 --> 00:41:26,639
He was holding a gun. I was taken to a

628
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:30,000
large room. There was a bunch of chairs set up

629
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,599
and rose, and there was a big cage in the

630
00:41:32,639 --> 00:41:35,320
middle of the room. I tried to run, but the

631
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,679
man with a gun caught me and dragged me back.

632
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,360
I put the notepad down. I turned off the lamp,

633
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,639
and after a half an hour, staring into the darkness,

634
00:41:44,639 --> 00:41:51,320
I murmured to myself, get ready, misster Stevens, I'll be

635
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:58,559
seeing you real soon. Before I did anything else, I

636
00:41:58,599 --> 00:42:02,800
wanted to have a look around Stanley Garland's place of residence. Unfortunately,

637
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,039
I didn't have the presence of mind to search his

638
00:42:05,159 --> 00:42:07,960
pockets for a set of keys. I had no choice

639
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,800
except for it to do it the old fashioned way

640
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:14,239
and break in. I would have to whip up something

641
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:17,519
of a disguise. Sanley lived in a much better neighborhood,

642
00:42:17,519 --> 00:42:19,440
and I was going to stand out like a sore thumb.

643
00:42:20,199 --> 00:42:22,800
I looked like a vagrant, and that would not do

644
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:26,039
at all. I carefully trimmed the good six inches off

645
00:42:26,079 --> 00:42:28,599
my beard and I took the clippers to my hair.

646
00:42:29,039 --> 00:42:31,199
A few swipes of the razors and eating things up,

647
00:42:31,199 --> 00:42:36,199
and now I almost looked like a normal citizen. I

648
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,800
zipped up a pair of blue coveralls over my clothes,

649
00:42:39,159 --> 00:42:41,679
and I put on a greasy baseball cap I found

650
00:42:41,679 --> 00:42:44,960
in the boiler room. The final touches to my disguise

651
00:42:45,039 --> 00:42:48,519
were an old clipboard with a stack of shipping documents

652
00:42:49,119 --> 00:42:52,079
and my tool bag. I was no longer a homeless

653
00:42:52,159 --> 00:42:56,199
dumpster pirate. I was a maintenance man and I had

654
00:42:56,199 --> 00:43:01,599
a job to do. I used the money from Stanley's

655
00:43:01,599 --> 00:43:04,679
wallet to pay for bus fare. Twenty minutes later, I

656
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,039
was casually strolling up to the front entrance of the building.

657
00:43:07,519 --> 00:43:09,639
I could see an elderly woman perched on a chair

658
00:43:09,679 --> 00:43:12,400
in the lobby to staring at me, her phone in

659
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,679
one hand in an unlit cigarette in the other. She

660
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:19,400
made eye contact and her face wrinkled with a distrustful scowl.

661
00:43:20,119 --> 00:43:22,280
I gave her an absid minded wave as I frowned

662
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,199
on my clipboard. I pretended to check the address again,

663
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,280
then PLoP the bag down so I could flip through

664
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:31,079
my imaginary paperwork. The old woman tottered over to the door.

665
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,880
She pushed it open a few inches and then stuck

666
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,880
her face in the narrow gap. She squawked, are you

667
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,039
here to fix the light in the hallway? I frowned

668
00:43:40,079 --> 00:43:44,440
some more and my clipboard and muttered, yeah, I think

669
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,800
that was on the list. Where was that again? Let

670
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,960
me see? The old woman's eyes lit up with excitement.

671
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,960
She pointed up above her head and exclaimed, second floor,

672
00:43:53,119 --> 00:43:55,760
The damn light's been buzzing and flickering for almost a week,

673
00:43:56,199 --> 00:43:59,280
striving me crazy. She held the door open for me,

674
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,480
apping a stream of complaints as I stepped inside. My

675
00:44:03,559 --> 00:44:07,079
heart was slamming around beneath my oiled stained overalls. I

676
00:44:07,119 --> 00:44:11,159
honestly didn't think it was going to work, but it did.

677
00:44:12,039 --> 00:44:14,960
I was in I gave the old gall a friendly

678
00:44:15,039 --> 00:44:17,800
smile and said, oh, I'm sure it's been a huge pain.

679
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:22,840
I'll take care of it. I turned my attention back

680
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,800
to the clipboard and hurried away. I was just a

681
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,920
maintenance guy, and I was here to do my maintenance

682
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:33,360
guy things. Stan lived up on the third floor. It

683
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,679
was eleven in the morning and the hallway was silent.

684
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,400
Most of the residents are probably at work. This was

685
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,880
helpful because I was about to make some noise. I

686
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,760
didn't know the first thing about lock picking. If you

687
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,039
don't care about making some racket, and there are many

688
00:44:48,079 --> 00:44:50,440
ways to get through a locked door. I used a

689
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,800
half inch drill bit to make a hole between the

690
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,800
dead bolt and the knob. The hole was a starting

691
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,199
point for a rough circle, which I caught with a

692
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:02,639
stolen reciprocating saw. A few seconds later, I was reaching

693
00:45:02,679 --> 00:45:05,840
through the hole to unlock the dead bolt. The entire

694
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:11,199
process took less than a minute. It quickly became obvious

695
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,960
that Stanley Garland was an alcoholic. Judging by the used

696
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,360
needles that were scattered throughout the apartment, stan was also

697
00:45:18,599 --> 00:45:21,840
an addict. This would explain why he'd been regularly visiting

698
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,400
my sketchy little corner of the city. You won't find

699
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:29,079
any banks or strip malls there, but drugs and prostitution

700
00:45:29,199 --> 00:45:33,800
were literally everywhere. Like most people who struggle with substance abuse,

701
00:45:34,159 --> 00:45:37,400
stan wasn't much of a housekeeper. His floors were mostly

702
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:41,039
buried in piles of dirty clothes, fast food containers, and

703
00:45:41,159 --> 00:45:45,239
random items of every description. There were stacks of dishes

704
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,360
on the corner, and an army of broken bottles littered

705
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:52,119
every surface. Overall, it painted a picture of a man

706
00:45:52,159 --> 00:45:57,280
who was deeply mired in both addiction and depression. Stanley

707
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,840
had no drive or energy to keep his life in order.

708
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,880
It was probably a struggle just to get from one

709
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:07,039
day to the next. I started methodically searching through all

710
00:46:07,039 --> 00:46:10,079
the chaos and clutter. I soon discovered an old pile

711
00:46:10,119 --> 00:46:12,880
of check stubs amongst the jungle of crap on his desk.

712
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,920
They were from a bus company that supplied transportation for

713
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,880
school kids. It appeared that Stanley used to work for

714
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,760
this company five days a week, but judging from the

715
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,599
dates of the stubs, he hadn't been employed by them

716
00:46:24,599 --> 00:46:28,519
for quite some time. I could see that his employment

717
00:46:28,599 --> 00:46:32,880
with the mysterious Paul Stevens was far more lucrative. That

718
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,320
he simply quit the bus company and jumped ship for

719
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,599
a better paying job was another question that needed to

720
00:46:38,599 --> 00:46:42,360
be answered. If on a gun in his nightstand, along

721
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,159
with a few boxes of ammunition, I put them in

722
00:46:45,159 --> 00:46:47,920
my tool bag and I kept searching. In the back

723
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,159
of his bedroom closet. I unearthed a shoe box of

724
00:46:50,159 --> 00:46:54,400
polaroid photographs. They were all pictures of boys, all them

725
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,880
taken in front of a white background. Most of the

726
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:01,039
boys were smiling, but some of them had a watchful expression,

727
00:47:01,639 --> 00:47:05,800
as if they knew something was wrong. There were dozens

728
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:09,239
of these pictures in the shoe box, so on the

729
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,079
back of each picture someone had written a name and

730
00:47:12,119 --> 00:47:19,480
a date. Jeffrey October seventeenth, Doug June third, Ricardo March

731
00:47:19,559 --> 00:47:22,920
twenty eighth. As I flipped through the photographs, that occurred

732
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,440
to me that one of them might be me. A

733
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,400
film of sweat suddenly popped up on my forehead, and

734
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:33,480
I was racked by a violent shudder. My heart was

735
00:47:33,519 --> 00:47:35,559
pounding wildly, and I felt like I was going to

736
00:47:35,599 --> 00:47:40,119
pass out. I sat down on stands rumpled, smelly bed

737
00:47:40,559 --> 00:47:44,519
and I focused on controlling my breathing. Something awful was

738
00:47:44,519 --> 00:47:48,400
swimming up from the murky depths of my subconscious dark

739
00:47:48,519 --> 00:47:52,360
Leviathan rising to the surface after a long and restless slumber.

740
00:47:53,679 --> 00:47:56,440
There was nothing I could do to stop it. The

741
00:47:56,519 --> 00:47:59,360
memory exploded into my mind with a flash from a camera.

742
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:04,119
Stanley Garland was smiling at me from behind the tripod.

743
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:08,280
He said, all done, Now follow the nice man over there. Yeah,

744
00:48:08,519 --> 00:48:12,880
go on. Next a nice man led me down a

745
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:16,679
hallway with fading wallpaper. He ushered me into a large

746
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:20,079
room that was full of bunk beds, row upon row

747
00:48:20,159 --> 00:48:25,880
of them. There were a bunch of other kids in

748
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:29,360
the room. They were all appeared to be between nine

749
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,800
and eleven years old. As who came walking in, they

750
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,320
stopped what they were doing and stared at me. I

751
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:40,159
was suddenly afraid. I asked mister nice man if I

752
00:48:40,159 --> 00:48:42,679
could go home, and he answered with a ferocious slap

753
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:47,599
across my face. It knocked me to the floor. I

754
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:51,280
was shocked into silence. I blinked at him through a

755
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:54,880
film of tears and he smiled at me. He said,

756
00:48:55,519 --> 00:49:00,159
this is your home. Now, you aren't going back. The

757
00:49:00,199 --> 00:49:02,440
doors slam shut behind him, and I heard a dead

758
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,960
bolt slide into place. I immediately started bawling my eyes out.

759
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:10,199
All the other kids gave me a look of disgust,

760
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:13,199
and they turned away from me. The kid with a

761
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:16,400
crew cut came strolling over. He dragged me by the

762
00:49:16,519 --> 00:49:19,320
arm to an empty bunk. He pointed at it and said,

763
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,760
this one's yours. I collapsed onto the hard mattress and

764
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:26,880
I continued to cry my heart out. After a while,

765
00:49:27,519 --> 00:49:29,280
the kid on the top bunk leaned down to have

766
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:32,639
a look at me. One of his eyes was cold

767
00:49:32,679 --> 00:49:36,320
and indifferent. The other was bloodshot and puffy from a

768
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:39,880
fading shiner. A deep split in his upper lip had

769
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,199
been stitched close. In a matter of fact tone, my

770
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:45,920
new bunk mate told me you're not gonna make it.

771
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,760
You're gonna die in there. I felt a tap on

772
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,880
my shoulder and I jumped to my feet with a

773
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:59,400
strangled yelp of terror. It was the dead boy. I

774
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,039
was back in the dripping with sweat and shaking all over.

775
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,119
My ghostly companion drifted over to the window and pointed

776
00:50:06,159 --> 00:50:10,159
down the street. Two burly cops were climbing out of

777
00:50:10,159 --> 00:50:13,519
a police cruiser. We started heading up the walkway to

778
00:50:13,559 --> 00:50:17,599
the front entrance. It's time to go. I shoved the

779
00:50:17,639 --> 00:50:19,599
hat and the cover alls into my tool bag and

780
00:50:19,679 --> 00:50:22,360
I scrambled down the fire escape. By the time the

781
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:25,599
cops who were approaching the door to Stanley's apartment that

782
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:29,039
was already hailing a cab down the street. Cabby dropped

783
00:50:29,039 --> 00:50:32,480
me off five blocks from the boundaries to my squalid neighborhood.

784
00:50:33,039 --> 00:50:35,960
He refused to drive any closer. I paid the fare

785
00:50:37,559 --> 00:50:41,559
and I melted away amongst my people parade of broken

786
00:50:41,639 --> 00:50:46,159
souls with no clear motive or direction. My field trip

787
00:50:46,199 --> 00:50:50,360
to Stanley's residence had unveiled more questions than answers. It

788
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:55,440
appeared Stanley was involved in a human trafficking operation. Was

789
00:50:55,440 --> 00:51:01,000
the mysterious Pulse Stevens also involved? And what was the

790
00:51:01,039 --> 00:51:07,800
significance of that giant cage. More and more questions kept

791
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:12,000
popping up, and I was determined to find the answer.

792
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:21,199
When I got back to the warehouse, I found Christie

793
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,559
sitting in the break room. She looked like she'd been crying.

794
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:27,760
There was a newspaper spread out on the table in

795
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:32,719
front of her. I asked, what's wrong, and she stabbed

796
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:37,559
the page with a trembling finger. She croaked, this guy,

797
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:42,840
I knew this guy. I leaned over her shoulder and

798
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:46,599
saw a grainy picture of Stanley Garland's smiling face. The

799
00:51:46,639 --> 00:51:52,039
headline blared, police asked for public's assistance in murder investigation.

800
00:51:53,159 --> 00:51:54,920
My heart lurched in my chest, but I kept my

801
00:51:55,000 --> 00:52:01,800
expression neutral. I said, I'm sorry for your loss. Christy snorted, no,

802
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:05,639
not lost. He was a piece of shit. I didn't

803
00:52:05,639 --> 00:52:10,000
know his real name was Stanley. Everyone called him Morty.

804
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:13,039
Christie wrapped her skinny arms around herself as she stared

805
00:52:13,039 --> 00:52:17,440
down at his face. She quietly breathed, My dad wasn't

806
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:21,119
a bad guy, but he was like, you know, I

807
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:25,280
wanna be biker, just to hang around. Sometimes they'd pay

808
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:27,679
him to these stuff they didn't feel like doing themselves.

809
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:31,840
I guess it wasn't much money because we were always

810
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:37,400
broke anyway. So this morning guy, he moves in down

811
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:41,320
the hall from us and they start hanging out. He

812
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:47,039
was a bus driver, but he was into a bunch

813
00:52:47,039 --> 00:52:50,440
of other stuff too, you know, like organized crime. I

814
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:56,039
guess she paused to order her thoughts and then continued. Anyway,

815
00:52:56,119 --> 00:52:58,760
So Morty when he got my dad involved in something

816
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,320
and things started to get better for us sudden we

817
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:03,920
got new furniture and new clothes, and there's always food

818
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:08,199
in the fridge. She gave me a crooked, miserable smile.

819
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,440
So we have all this cool stuff now. But Dad

820
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,320
was always in a bad mood. He was always angry

821
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,079
all the time, moody, intense, and I'd catch him staring

822
00:53:16,119 --> 00:53:19,239
at me sometimes and he'd have this really like sad

823
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,599
look on his face. And then he went on for

824
00:53:22,639 --> 00:53:25,599
a year or so, and then one day he just

825
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,679
he just disappeared, left the apartment for work, and he

826
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:34,519
just never came back. Me and Mom are pretty fucked

827
00:53:34,519 --> 00:53:37,000
after that, because Mom didn't have access to his money,

828
00:53:37,039 --> 00:53:38,639
and he had a few hundred bucks bashed around the

829
00:53:38,679 --> 00:53:45,639
apartment and that's all we had. Anyway, Morty came knocking

830
00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:47,719
on the door maybe three weeks after Dad disappeared, and

831
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:50,400
Mom talked to him for a while, and she didn't

832
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,280
seem very happy with what he was saying. He saw

833
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,960
me peeking at them from around the corner and he

834
00:53:56,000 --> 00:54:00,239
whispered something into her ear. I don't know. I don't

835
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:02,880
know what he said, but Mom, she lost her shit

836
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,000
on the guy and she started screaming at him like

837
00:54:05,039 --> 00:54:08,320
a freaking banshee. Right as she pushed him into the hallway.

838
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:14,079
She was like, really upset, you know. She kept me

839
00:54:14,119 --> 00:54:16,599
home from school the next day and every other day

840
00:54:16,639 --> 00:54:20,679
for the rest of the week. I don't have to

841
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:23,880
go anywhere. I just watched TV. My mom was chain

842
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:28,920
smoking and watching the door. Christy tapped the picture of

843
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:33,960
a Morty's smiling face with a ragged fingernail. She said,

844
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:38,079
whatever he said to her, it freaked her out. She

845
00:54:38,199 --> 00:54:39,920
ended up selling all of our stuff to other people

846
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,639
in our building, and the new couch, the big TV,

847
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:46,599
our dressers, our beds, everything gone in two days. And

848
00:54:46,639 --> 00:54:50,800
then and then we're riding a greyhound bus across the

849
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:58,880
country to live with my grandma. Just like that. I

850
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:03,519
stayed quiet as I absorbed this new information. I let

851
00:55:03,519 --> 00:55:06,159
it swirl around with the other fragments of the big picture,

852
00:55:06,159 --> 00:55:11,000
and I waited for her to continue. Christie folded the

853
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,800
newspaper to hide his face, and she pushed it away

854
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:19,840
with a trembling hand. She muttered, he got my dad

855
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:23,000
into something heavy, you know, something really bad, and I

856
00:55:23,039 --> 00:55:25,639
think I think he was going to snitch on them

857
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:35,880
or something, so so they killed him. I asked if

858
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:39,119
she had any pictures of her dad. Christie dug around

859
00:55:39,119 --> 00:55:41,639
in her backpack and she pulled out a crumpled photograph.

860
00:55:42,039 --> 00:55:44,800
She smoothed it out on the table and said, it's

861
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:48,159
the only one I have threw his pictures away when

862
00:55:48,159 --> 00:55:52,039
she got serious with a new boyfriend. Took it out

863
00:55:52,079 --> 00:55:55,360
of the trash and I hid it in my room.

864
00:55:56,239 --> 00:56:01,039
I examined the picture, and another piece the pustle clicked

865
00:56:01,039 --> 00:56:06,920
into place. Christie's dad was the guy who was standing

866
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,480
at the front of the bus in my dream. He

867
00:56:09,639 --> 00:56:11,400
was the one who dragged me back when I tried

868
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:15,360
to run away. I realized I was gritting my teeth

869
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:19,519
and I forced myself to relax my jaw. Let me

870
00:56:19,559 --> 00:56:22,559
guess your mom decided to shack up with the new

871
00:56:22,599 --> 00:56:24,360
guy and it turned out to be a bad move.

872
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:29,280
Christy plucked the photograph out of my hand. She tucked

873
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:31,559
it into the breast pocket of her jacket, close to

874
00:56:31,599 --> 00:56:35,559
her heart, and she croaked, yeah, she did. He's the

875
00:56:35,559 --> 00:56:41,440
reason I ran away. There's a creep we both lapsed

876
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:45,760
into a brooding silence. As we sat there thinking our

877
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:49,159
dark and troubling thoughts, the dead boy suddenly stepped out

878
00:56:49,159 --> 00:56:52,880
from behind Christie's chair. He stood beside her and stared

879
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:56,719
at me. Christie frowned and leaned away from him, even

880
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,599
though she couldn't see him, as she could sense his

881
00:56:58,679 --> 00:57:02,199
presence on a primal love. She rubbed her temples inside.

882
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:08,360
Oh fuck it, that's whatever at this point, right, just whatever.

883
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,039
She pushed her chair back and stiff reannounced I'm gonna

884
00:57:13,039 --> 00:57:16,039
head back out for a while. I see you later.

885
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:21,199
I looked up at her shriveling, miserable face, and I

886
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:25,320
knew she wasn't long for this awful world. Christie was

887
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:28,559
trapped in a nightmarish waltz that would never end. She

888
00:57:28,719 --> 00:57:30,800
worked the corner to score the drugs, which told her

889
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:34,360
senses enough to work the corner again. Her entire existence

890
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:38,239
was a grim two step dance of corner to dope man,

891
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:43,440
dope man to corner, over and over again. There wasn't

892
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:47,760
any light behind those sunken, bloodshot eyes. She was running

893
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:51,599
on autopilot. There was nothing but fumes in the tank.

894
00:57:54,039 --> 00:58:01,039
I quietly asked, what's his name. Christy wrapped her arms

895
00:58:01,039 --> 00:58:05,000
around herself in a protective circle and quivered his name's

896
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:12,840
Greg Thomas. I fucking hate his guns. Well, maybe something

897
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:18,239
will happen to him someday, Maybe he'll end up like Morty.

898
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:23,079
Would you like that? Christie went silent for a while,

899
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:26,440
her eyes glittering with a film of tears beneath a

900
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:30,280
harsh fluorescent light. A ghost of a smile touched her

901
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:36,079
lips there and gone in the blink of an eye.

902
00:58:36,559 --> 00:58:41,960
She gave me a slight nod and whispered, yeah, I'd

903
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:47,119
like that a lot, And then she was rushing down

904
00:58:47,119 --> 00:58:49,599
the hall, and the exit door swung shut behind her

905
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:55,760
with a metallic clunk. I was left by myself, with

906
00:58:55,840 --> 00:59:00,559
the radio blurbling away in the background. As usual, there

907
00:59:00,639 --> 00:59:06,079
was another news report. The news was mostly bad. Someone

908
00:59:06,079 --> 00:59:08,880
had once told me nothing is fair, and even though

909
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,079
I couldn't remember who said that to me, I knew

910
00:59:11,079 --> 00:59:16,880
they were right. Safety is in illusion and justice is

911
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:21,599
a lie. The dead boy was still lingering at the table.

912
00:59:22,239 --> 00:59:24,320
He was looking at me with an air of impatience.

913
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:30,920
I pointed at him and snapped, I used to be invisible.

914
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:33,679
I was happy that way. I didn't have to think

915
00:59:33,679 --> 00:59:35,880
about anything. I didn't have to know anything. I didn't

916
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:40,599
have to commit felonies and put myself in danger. I

917
00:59:40,719 --> 00:59:43,920
just had to stay alive, one day at a time.

918
00:59:44,159 --> 00:59:47,199
You took that from me. Do you understand? Leave me

919
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:52,119
alone for a while. The dead boy drifted out into

920
00:59:52,119 --> 00:59:55,559
the hallway and turned to look at me. I groaned,

921
00:59:56,119 --> 01:00:02,679
don't fuck yourself. I couldn't disobey his wordless commands. My

922
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:05,599
own body wouldn't allow it. I got up from my

923
01:00:05,679 --> 01:00:08,719
chair and followed. He led me to the large mirror

924
01:00:08,719 --> 01:00:11,719
in the restroom. He pointed to my reflection, and I

925
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:15,760
was forced to confront my image. My fresh haircut had

926
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:21,679
revealed the ragged stumps of my left ear. I stared

927
01:00:21,679 --> 01:00:25,119
at the network of scars on my face, the leaning

928
01:00:25,199 --> 01:00:28,840
slant of my nose, and another piece of the puzzle

929
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:32,840
clicked into place. For many years, I had been unable

930
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:36,159
to grasp the concept of myself as an actual human being.

931
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:39,760
I had never asked myself, who am I? Why is

932
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,559
my face all messed up? Why am I so afraid

933
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:46,239
all the time? Why does my entire body clench like

934
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:48,679
a fist if someone is standing too close to me?

935
01:00:52,199 --> 01:00:54,960
My days were a dream, and my reality was trapped

936
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:58,960
in my nightmares. The past had no meaning, the future

937
01:00:59,119 --> 01:01:03,639
was unknowable. The only certainty was a lonely death, and

938
01:01:04,239 --> 01:01:09,239
with any luck and eternity of silence in a pauper's grave, solitude, silence,

939
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:15,159
and a blissful void. My image in the mirror gave

940
01:01:15,199 --> 01:01:19,320
me a stern look and said, wake up, seventeen. You're

941
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:21,599
asleep on your feet. Put your hands up and move.

942
01:01:23,639 --> 01:01:27,320
Beads of sweat started rolling down my forehead. I couldn't

943
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:31,920
Breathe leaned against the counter and gasped, I can't do this.

944
01:01:32,239 --> 01:01:36,320
I want to stay asleep. My reflection round. No, it's

945
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,519
time to wake up. It leaned forward and poppy with

946
01:01:39,559 --> 01:01:42,039
a left hook to the chin. My knees unhinged. I

947
01:01:42,119 --> 01:01:47,079
fell into the past. I was now inside the cage

948
01:01:47,079 --> 01:01:51,800
from my dream. A man was standing over me, his

949
01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:55,559
hands planted on his hips. I didn't know his name.

950
01:01:56,119 --> 01:01:58,559
No one had a name at the farm. The boys

951
01:01:58,559 --> 01:02:01,159
were numbered from one to third, and our trainer was

952
01:02:01,199 --> 01:02:04,039
known as the Director. We weren't allowed to speak unless

953
01:02:04,039 --> 01:02:07,119
we were spoken to first. The punishment for talking was

954
01:02:07,119 --> 01:02:10,480
a swift beating. There weren't any second. Chances of the

955
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:19,159
farm only repercussions. I was number seventeen. The old seventeen

956
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:26,000
had died shortly after my arrival, and I was his replacement. Calmly,

957
01:02:26,039 --> 01:02:29,320
the director said, you try to lean away from that hook.

958
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:31,800
You would have been better to roll under him. Get

959
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:35,559
up and try again. All the other boys were surrounding

960
01:02:35,599 --> 01:02:40,280
the outside cage, silently watching the lesson unfold. I squared

961
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:42,280
up again, and this time I almost managed to avoid

962
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:44,679
his fist. He glanced off the top of my skull

963
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:47,599
and I was dropped a second later. The director watched

964
01:02:47,599 --> 01:02:49,840
with a look of serene indifference as I struggled to

965
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:53,639
get up, his hands clasped together behind his back. My

966
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,760
head was ringing like a bell. If you bet your

967
01:02:56,840 --> 01:03:00,679
knees a little more would have missed. Try again. I

968
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:03,519
dodged the third swing, and the director awarded me with

969
01:03:03,519 --> 01:03:05,960
a kick to the liver. I went down hard, and

970
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:10,320
I stayed there. He looked around at the other boys

971
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:13,679
and said, if the first strike misses the mark, there's

972
01:03:13,719 --> 01:03:16,760
probably another one coming right behind it. Be ready for it.

973
01:03:18,119 --> 01:03:26,079
He held up three fingers and said, remember these three words, gentlemen, anticipate, evade, retaliate.

974
01:03:27,039 --> 01:03:31,639
These words might keep you alive. I saw his foot

975
01:03:31,719 --> 01:03:33,519
rise into the air, and I rolled away just in

976
01:03:33,559 --> 01:03:36,199
time to avoid a stomp on the head. The director

977
01:03:36,199 --> 01:03:39,360
clapped his hands together and called out, seventeen needs a break.

978
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:45,239
Who's next, No volunteers, get in here. Six, It's your turn.

979
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:48,719
The director hauled me off the floor with one hand

980
01:03:49,119 --> 01:03:51,840
and tossed me through the door like a bag of trash.

981
01:03:52,159 --> 01:03:54,119
When I got to my feet, I found myself standing

982
01:03:54,119 --> 01:03:57,719
in the present again, alone in the restroom of an

983
01:03:57,719 --> 01:04:04,719
abandoned warehouse. I finally understood something. The dead boy wasn't

984
01:04:04,719 --> 01:04:10,400
a ghost. It was my stolen innocence. I was no

985
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:14,920
longer asleep. I was waking up, and it was time

986
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:25,039
for a reckoning. Christie didn't come back that night. She

987
01:04:25,079 --> 01:04:29,480
didn't come back the next day either. The day after

988
01:04:29,519 --> 01:04:32,280
that I went looking for her. I spent hours coming

989
01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:35,440
the neighborhood, but she was nowhere to be found. She

990
01:04:35,599 --> 01:04:41,000
was just gone. It gave me an uneasy feeling in

991
01:04:41,079 --> 01:04:45,159
my stomach. Why would she abruptly stop coming back? Where

992
01:04:45,159 --> 01:04:48,400
else would she go? It was about every dime Christie

993
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:51,119
ever made on the corner went directly into her arm.

994
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:53,920
She didn't have the money to rent a room somewhere.

995
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:57,840
It was the middle of winter. She was all very troubling,

996
01:04:57,920 --> 01:05:00,360
including the depths of my anxiety at her app since,

997
01:05:01,079 --> 01:05:03,159
even if she didn't know it, we shared a dreadful

998
01:05:03,239 --> 01:05:07,559
bond from the murky days of the past. Wherever she was,

999
01:05:09,639 --> 01:05:16,239
I hope she was okay. That night, another nightmare came

1000
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,679
to me in the darkness, and another fragment of the

1001
01:05:18,679 --> 01:05:22,159
past dropped into place. I was doing physical training with

1002
01:05:22,199 --> 01:05:25,840
the rest of the captives. This happened every day after breakfast. However,

1003
01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:29,039
we didn't have any breakfast on this particular morning. We

1004
01:05:29,079 --> 01:05:31,800
didn't have any breakfast the day before either, nor any

1005
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:35,440
lunch or supper. One of us had committed some vague

1006
01:05:35,480 --> 01:05:38,320
transgression against the rules, and now we were all being starved.

1007
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:42,519
The director referred to this punitive measure as a time

1008
01:05:42,599 --> 01:05:45,719
of cleansing. There was a common punishment at the farm.

1009
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:48,880
They could last anywhere from one missed meal to several

1010
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:52,519
days of hunger and misery. The director would usually keep

1011
01:05:52,599 --> 01:05:55,239
us confined to the bunk room during a time of cleansing.

1012
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:59,039
On this occasion, Christie's dad came and ordered us to

1013
01:05:59,039 --> 01:06:02,159
get ready for a work out. He hearded us outside

1014
01:06:02,159 --> 01:06:05,079
a gunpoint, and we were marched into converted barn where

1015
01:06:05,119 --> 01:06:10,199
the fights took place. It was known as the arena.

1016
01:06:10,559 --> 01:06:12,639
This is where we did most of our training, with

1017
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:16,119
the cage looming behind us like a neolithic monument to bloodshed.

1018
01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:19,719
The director was already waiting for us. He announced that

1019
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:22,599
anyone who failed to make it to the end would

1020
01:06:22,639 --> 01:06:29,440
be taken away. The workouts were always intense, but this

1021
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:32,639
one was absolutely brutal. At this point, we hadn't eaten

1022
01:06:32,679 --> 01:06:36,000
in at least thirty six hours. One by one, the

1023
01:06:36,039 --> 01:06:39,239
other boys started dropping like flies around me. Whenever someone

1024
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,360
hit the floor, the director would order Chrissy's dad the

1025
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:43,760
drag him out of the building. We would hear a

1026
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:46,920
muffled gunshot from somewhere out in the barnyard, and then

1027
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:52,039
he would come back alone. The workout dragged on and on.

1028
01:06:52,920 --> 01:06:55,800
Every minute fell like an hour. My sight was fading,

1029
01:06:55,840 --> 01:06:58,840
my ears were ringing, and I was shaking from hunger,

1030
01:06:58,880 --> 01:07:04,199
but I grimly forced myself to continue. I performed endless

1031
01:07:04,239 --> 01:07:07,760
push ups, sit ups, chumping jacks, and squats, shaking like

1032
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:11,000
a leaf from exhaustion and terror. Before long, there was

1033
01:07:11,039 --> 01:07:15,880
only eight of us left, and then four, and then two,

1034
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:18,840
and then it was only me, trembling and sweating as

1035
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,639
I struggled to squeeze out another push up. I barely

1036
01:07:21,679 --> 01:07:25,320
managed to get my arms fully extended. Screeching and anguish

1037
01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:27,440
as I trembled my way up to the top, I

1038
01:07:27,519 --> 01:07:29,000
knew I wouldn't be able to do it again. I

1039
01:07:29,119 --> 01:07:31,239
fought with all of my heart and soul to push

1040
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:35,480
myself up a third time. I wasn't going to make it.

1041
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:40,679
It was over. The director suddenly blew the whistle. My

1042
01:07:40,880 --> 01:07:43,440
arms instantly gave out, and I smacked my face into

1043
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:46,800
the cement floor. Blood came gushing out of my nose

1044
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:49,559
in a torrent. I rolled away from the puddle and

1045
01:07:49,599 --> 01:07:51,360
tried to stand up. With my legs would no longer

1046
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:57,280
support my weight. I promptly collapsed in a heap. I

1047
01:07:57,320 --> 01:08:05,920
was barely conscious that I was alive. I won, or

1048
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:11,360
so I thought. Someone dragged me like a sack of

1049
01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:13,920
potatoes all the way back to the farmhouse. As I

1050
01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:16,279
crawled through the back door, the smell of fresh baking

1051
01:08:16,359 --> 01:08:20,359
hit my nostrils. My stomach immediately started growling. I climbed

1052
01:08:20,399 --> 01:08:23,039
the stairs on all fours groaning with every movement, and

1053
01:08:23,079 --> 01:08:26,039
I crawled the hall to the bunk room. There was

1054
01:08:26,079 --> 01:08:28,119
a folding table set up in the middle of the room.

1055
01:08:28,239 --> 01:08:31,199
It was loaded with freshly baked pies and pastries from

1056
01:08:31,199 --> 01:08:35,359
the kitchen downstairs. There were five pictures of cold lemonade,

1057
01:08:35,359 --> 01:08:38,119
as well, full of ice cubes and dripping beads of

1058
01:08:38,159 --> 01:08:44,880
condensation down the outside of the glass. No one was dead.

1059
01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:48,520
The other kids were all eating and drinking, with a

1060
01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:51,319
look of absolute rapture on their faces. It had all

1061
01:08:51,359 --> 01:08:54,960
been just another grotesque mind game to break our spirits.

1062
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:58,600
I should have been furious, but I didn't care in

1063
01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:01,720
the least. I was stuck harving and there was food.

1064
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:08,960
I forced myself to stand up, and I started lurching

1065
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:11,760
over to the table. I was swiftly shoved to the

1066
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,680
floor by a foot on my back. I rolled over

1067
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:17,000
and looked up in a daze. I saw the director

1068
01:09:17,079 --> 01:09:19,319
standing there. His hands were clasped behind his back in

1069
01:09:19,359 --> 01:09:22,319
a scholarly fashion. He shook his head and dragged me

1070
01:09:22,359 --> 01:09:26,239
away from the table by my foot gently. He said,

1071
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:30,279
not you, seventeen. They'll sit on your bunk until everyone

1072
01:09:30,279 --> 01:09:37,359
here is finished. I stared at him without comprehension. All

1073
01:09:37,359 --> 01:09:40,399
I knew was pain, exhaustion, and the maddening smell of

1074
01:09:40,399 --> 01:09:43,680
food in the air. I croaked, I'm the only one

1075
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:47,000
who made it to the end. He shrugged at me

1076
01:09:47,039 --> 01:09:50,479
and replied, not the end until I say it is.

1077
01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:58,560
Go to your bunk. I was devastated. My eyes teared

1078
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:01,560
up against my will. I whispered, it's not fair. No

1079
01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:06,479
one else made it to the end. I won. He

1080
01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:10,760
gave me a vague smile and replied, what end. There's

1081
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:14,239
no end here, you thick headed idiot. Has anyone ever

1082
01:10:14,279 --> 01:10:17,520
been fair? Of course not. There's no justice in this world.

1083
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:23,119
Seventeen There's only dominance in misery. Haven't you figured this

1084
01:10:23,199 --> 01:10:27,279
out yet? He turned to Christie's dad and told him

1085
01:10:27,600 --> 01:10:30,560
take seventeen outside, put him on the steake. You need

1086
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:38,199
some time for self reflection. I couldn't walk very far

1087
01:10:38,239 --> 01:10:40,159
on my own power, so I was dragged across the

1088
01:10:40,199 --> 01:10:44,560
ground once again, to the edge of the cornfield. An

1089
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:47,359
eight foot length of chain was locked around my neck.

1090
01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:49,800
The other end of the chain was attached to a

1091
01:10:49,840 --> 01:10:53,840
wooden pole in the ground. Receiving time for self reflection

1092
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,760
was another common punishment on the farm. There was no

1093
01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:02,560
predicting the length of a punishment. It could last an hour, No,

1094
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:07,680
it could last for days. On end. I was too

1095
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:09,840
exhausted to bear the weight of the chain, and as

1096
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:11,920
soon as it locked around my neck, it dragged me

1097
01:11:11,960 --> 01:11:15,399
to the ground. I curled up in a ball and

1098
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:20,800
I started to cry. Christie's dad rubbed his palms over

1099
01:11:20,840 --> 01:11:24,720
his eyes. He glanced over the farmhouse across the barnyard,

1100
01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:32,039
and then he knelt down beside me. He quietly said,

1101
01:11:32,680 --> 01:11:35,319
listen to me, kid, I'm gonna get you out of here.

1102
01:11:36,319 --> 01:11:40,359
I'm working on it. He shushed me with a raised

1103
01:11:40,359 --> 01:11:43,439
finger and hiss. No, you can't know anything yet. Don't

1104
01:11:43,479 --> 01:11:46,039
ask questions. I don't have the answers yet. Anyway. All

1105
01:11:46,079 --> 01:11:47,960
I know for sure is that we can't go to

1106
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:50,920
the cops. The people involved here they got more money

1107
01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:53,960
than you can imagine. Everyone is in their pocket, the cops,

1108
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:57,119
the lawyers, the judges, the politicians, everyone. We have to

1109
01:11:57,119 --> 01:12:00,239
get the message directly to all the regular people. That's

1110
01:12:00,239 --> 01:12:04,399
our only chance. He hushed me again. When I tried

1111
01:12:04,439 --> 01:12:08,680
to speak, he whispered, You've got to go to the newspapers,

1112
01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:11,399
the magazine's TV stations, on the TV if we go

1113
01:12:11,439 --> 01:12:17,199
to the cops first, will disappear. His eyes darted back

1114
01:12:17,199 --> 01:12:19,399
to the farmhouse as he fished something out of his pocket.

1115
01:12:20,039 --> 01:12:22,680
He said, I this in the bunk room somewhere, and

1116
01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:26,119
forget it exists. Don't even tell yourself about it, don't

1117
01:12:26,159 --> 01:12:30,920
til it's time to use it. He dropped a shiny

1118
01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:33,800
object in the grass between us, and he turned to leave.

1119
01:12:34,479 --> 01:12:37,199
I reached for his pant leg and croaks, what if

1120
01:12:37,199 --> 01:12:42,479
I can't make it that blug Christie's dad gave me

1121
01:12:42,479 --> 01:12:45,800
a bleak stare. He looked like he hadn't caught a

1122
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:51,479
decent night's sleep in a long time. He murmured, I

1123
01:12:51,479 --> 01:12:53,920
think he got a better chance than most of them.

1124
01:12:54,399 --> 01:12:56,159
Just take it day by day, do whatever you gotta

1125
01:12:56,199 --> 01:13:02,000
do to stay life. I waited until he was gone

1126
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:04,039
before I started searching for the object he dropped on

1127
01:13:04,079 --> 01:13:08,640
the ground. The barnyard hadn't been mowed in a while,

1128
01:13:08,680 --> 01:13:10,600
so it was lost somewhere in a green void of

1129
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:13,760
weeds and long grass. I had to clamp down on

1130
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:16,920
a scream of frustration and keep methodically searching inch by

1131
01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:20,960
inch until I found it. I pulled it out of

1132
01:13:20,960 --> 01:13:23,079
the grass with a trembling hand, and my heart skipped

1133
01:13:23,079 --> 01:13:31,039
a beat. I was holding the key. A vague feeling

1134
01:13:31,039 --> 01:13:33,960
of warmth spread across my chest. For the first time

1135
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:36,560
since the day of my kidnapping, I saw a faint

1136
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:40,319
glow at the end of the tunnel. I'd kill whoever

1137
01:13:40,359 --> 01:13:41,840
I had to kill in order to make it to

1138
01:13:41,880 --> 01:13:48,039
the light. If necessary, I'd kill them all. Nothing mattered

1139
01:13:48,199 --> 01:13:55,640
except my freedom. A cold hand gripped my shoulder, and

1140
01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:59,359
the memory shattered into pieces. I have expected to see

1141
01:13:59,359 --> 01:14:01,279
the Directors and there when I opened my eyes, but

1142
01:14:01,319 --> 01:14:08,720
it wasn't him. It was the dead boy. He put

1143
01:14:08,760 --> 01:14:10,760
a finger to his lips and pointed at the door.

1144
01:14:11,199 --> 01:14:14,399
I was instantly wide awake. I whispered, who is it?

1145
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:16,840
The dead Boy drew a line across his neck with

1146
01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:21,960
his finger, and then he melted into the shadows. I

1147
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:24,920
tiptoed across my makeshift bedroom in the dim red glow

1148
01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:28,119
of my alarm clock. Morty's revolver was clutched in my

1149
01:14:28,159 --> 01:14:32,000
sweaty hands. I held my breath and listened at the door.

1150
01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:38,600
After a few seconds, I heard the faint squeak of

1151
01:14:38,600 --> 01:14:42,119
a rubber soul against the hallway tile. My stomach dropped

1152
01:14:42,159 --> 01:14:44,159
like an elevator. I had a fleeting hope it was

1153
01:14:44,239 --> 01:14:46,720
Christy out there, both alive and well, but I knew

1154
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:51,359
it wasn't true. It was them. They had been looking

1155
01:14:51,359 --> 01:14:54,039
for me, just as I was looking for them, and

1156
01:14:54,079 --> 01:14:59,439
they found me. The stealthy footsteps paused in front of

1157
01:14:59,479 --> 01:15:02,079
the door. I waited until the knobs started to turn,

1158
01:15:02,119 --> 01:15:04,600
and I fired three rounds through the door at chest height.

1159
01:15:05,039 --> 01:15:08,119
He was painfully loud in the enclosed space of the bedroom.

1160
01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:11,920
I jumped to the side, barely avoiding getting shot numerous times.

1161
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:15,399
In return, the air buzzed with the whine of ricocheting bullets.

1162
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:18,600
It struck my digital alarm clock and it exploded in

1163
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:20,960
a spray of plastic. I could hear the rattling and

1164
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:24,199
gurgling of a sucking chest wound. I hit the light switch,

1165
01:15:24,199 --> 01:15:27,359
illuminating the intruders in a glow of fluorescent tubes. Overhead,

1166
01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:29,880
he was struggling to push himself to a sitting position

1167
01:15:29,920 --> 01:15:32,079
against the wall. I kicked him in the face hard

1168
01:15:32,159 --> 01:15:34,359
enough to put the back of his skull through the drywall.

1169
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,760
I did it again, and what's more, for good measure.

1170
01:15:41,279 --> 01:15:42,920
From what I could see of him, he looked like

1171
01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:47,720
a typical hard case, a goon for hire. Behind that,

1172
01:15:47,880 --> 01:15:50,319
it was hard to discern anything about his facial features,

1173
01:15:51,239 --> 01:15:53,319
along with the repeated kicks to the face. One of

1174
01:15:53,319 --> 01:15:57,960
my bullets had struck him square in the mouth. He

1175
01:15:58,000 --> 01:16:00,880
had nothing in his pockets except a space magazine for

1176
01:16:00,920 --> 01:16:04,359
his pistol. I dragged him into my former bedroom and

1177
01:16:04,359 --> 01:16:08,279
closed the door. It was now my former bedroom because

1178
01:16:08,279 --> 01:16:11,199
I could no longer stay in this place. When his

1179
01:16:11,279 --> 01:16:13,960
assassin failed to report back to him, Paul Stevens would

1180
01:16:14,039 --> 01:16:18,159
undoubtedly send more of them. This place was no longer safe.

1181
01:16:19,359 --> 01:16:21,319
It was time to move on to the last stage

1182
01:16:21,319 --> 01:16:24,880
of my awakening. I went out to the warehouse to

1183
01:16:24,880 --> 01:16:27,720
grab a Jerry Canni old gasoline the previous had left behind.

1184
01:16:29,119 --> 01:16:31,840
I left the side door open so the raccoons could escape,

1185
01:16:32,640 --> 01:16:35,119
and I splashed the gas on anything flammable for the

1186
01:16:35,119 --> 01:16:38,039
office side of the building. I had tears in my

1187
01:16:38,079 --> 01:16:40,279
eyes as I twisted up a cone of office paper.

1188
01:16:41,640 --> 01:16:43,800
This place was the closest thing to a real home

1189
01:16:43,840 --> 01:16:49,359
I had ever known. Safety, security, and a sense of belonging.

1190
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:54,279
All of it gone. I swung the exit door shut

1191
01:16:54,319 --> 01:16:59,760
on the flames, and that was that. The time of

1192
01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:04,239
high for my past year was over. I knew about them,

1193
01:17:04,680 --> 01:17:07,319
they knew about me, and one of us was going

1194
01:17:07,359 --> 01:17:10,880
to die before the end of the day. The sky

1195
01:17:11,039 --> 01:17:14,359
was starting to get lighter in the east. I walked

1196
01:17:14,359 --> 01:17:16,960
from many blocks until I found that all night donuts shop.

1197
01:17:18,039 --> 01:17:20,199
He sat in a corner and brooded over a paper

1198
01:17:20,199 --> 01:17:24,319
cup of watery hot chocolate. There were sirens wailing in

1199
01:17:24,359 --> 01:17:28,520
the distance, the swan song to my broken life. My

1200
01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:32,560
home was gone, my possessions were gone. My only companion

1201
01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:40,439
was missing. I had nothing and I was nothing. I

1202
01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:43,079
slowly became aware of someone watching me through the window.

1203
01:17:45,439 --> 01:17:48,720
It was the dead Boy. As we stared at each

1204
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:52,520
other through the dirty glass, the long dead and never living,

1205
01:17:54,279 --> 01:17:59,439
I realized I still had one possession left, one beautiful

1206
01:17:59,479 --> 01:18:07,840
and precious possession. I had the ability to kill. I

1207
01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:10,760
felt my eyelids grow heavy, and the hushed atmosphere of

1208
01:18:10,760 --> 01:18:14,119
the coffee shop. I let myself drift into the mist

1209
01:18:14,239 --> 01:18:17,439
that lies between wakefulness and sleep, and I waited for

1210
01:18:17,479 --> 01:18:20,039
the sun to dawn. On my last day as an

1211
01:18:20,079 --> 01:18:25,279
aimless nomad, I had a purpose. Now. My rage was

1212
01:18:25,279 --> 01:18:28,279
the spark, my misery was the fuel, and the evil

1213
01:18:28,359 --> 01:18:31,479
men who destroyed my life would be consumed in the

1214
01:18:31,520 --> 01:18:35,920
resulting inferno. I might burn along with them, but that

1215
01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:39,880
was okay. We could all burn together, and in the

1216
01:18:39,920 --> 01:18:55,279
smoldering aftermath I would find peace. Paul Stephens Contracting was

1217
01:18:55,319 --> 01:18:59,239
located in a decaying industrial block, the mirror image of

1218
01:18:59,279 --> 01:19:02,479
my own form our neighborhood. It was all potholes and

1219
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:07,159
cracking concrete, empty parking lots and rusting billboards. The buildings

1220
01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:10,359
were sandwich between two abandoned factories, both of them riddled

1221
01:19:10,399 --> 01:19:13,960
with broken windows. The entire property was surrounded with a

1222
01:19:14,039 --> 01:19:17,119
barbed wire fence and the gate was locked with a

1223
01:19:17,159 --> 01:19:20,880
heavy chain and a padlock. This time, my disguise was

1224
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:24,760
simply me as myself, a homeless looking guy and ragged

1225
01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:27,439
clothes dad to the effect, I was holding an empty

1226
01:19:27,479 --> 01:19:30,520
bottle in a paper bag, just another drunken bomb in

1227
01:19:30,560 --> 01:19:34,239
the street, idling the frigid hours away with a cheap

1228
01:19:34,279 --> 01:19:38,159
bottle of booze. I sat in the cold for nearly

1229
01:19:38,199 --> 01:19:40,920
an hour and scouted out the property from across the road.

1230
01:19:43,880 --> 01:19:46,079
A large man in a bomber jacket was patrolling the

1231
01:19:46,079 --> 01:19:49,399
grounds every twenty minutes or so. The level of security

1232
01:19:49,439 --> 01:19:53,439
seemed a bit excessive for a contracting company. Also that

1233
01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:55,920
want me work trucks or cargo vans in the parking

1234
01:19:55,960 --> 01:19:59,399
lot instead, there was a handful of expensive luxury cars

1235
01:19:59,479 --> 01:20:02,520
huddle clothes to the front entrance, including a Mercedes in

1236
01:20:02,560 --> 01:20:06,760
a BMW. I had a feeling that Paul's contracting work

1237
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:12,720
was of the more illegal variety. There was only one

1238
01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:15,279
way to get past the fence. I'd have to somehow

1239
01:20:15,319 --> 01:20:18,359
coerce the security thug into unlocking the gate. It was

1240
01:20:18,359 --> 01:20:22,039
only one way that would happen. I'd have to make

1241
01:20:22,119 --> 01:20:24,319
him angry enough to come after me in the street.

1242
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:30,039
I weaved across the street with a belligerent stagger. The

1243
01:20:30,079 --> 01:20:32,720
guard slowed his step and watched as I leaned against

1244
01:20:32,760 --> 01:20:36,199
the fence and started unzipping my pants. He pointed at

1245
01:20:36,239 --> 01:20:38,560
me and yelled, hey, get out of here, go to

1246
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:43,560
your business somewhere else. I hollowed back, I'll go fuck yourself,

1247
01:20:44,239 --> 01:20:48,119
and proceeded to urinate on a support post. Paul's security

1248
01:20:48,159 --> 01:20:51,119
goon came storming over to the gate, his eyes shining

1249
01:20:51,159 --> 01:20:54,079
at the prospect of violence. He growled, No, you don't

1250
01:20:54,079 --> 01:20:56,600
tell me to go fuck myself, you dunk piece of shit.

1251
01:20:56,680 --> 01:21:01,119
Get the fuck out of here, go on. I zipped

1252
01:21:01,159 --> 01:21:03,840
up and gave him a nasty grin. Swaying around with

1253
01:21:03,880 --> 01:21:08,319
an alcoholic sprecarious lack of balance, I slurred, why don't

1254
01:21:08,319 --> 01:21:10,840
you make me leave? I bet you won't. I bet

1255
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:14,880
you won't do shit. The guard kicked the fence between

1256
01:21:14,960 --> 01:21:19,359
us with a size fourteen boot. He snarled, last warning,

1257
01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:24,279
get moving. I responded by hurling the bottle at the

1258
01:21:24,279 --> 01:21:27,279
fence between us. It exploded against the frigid metal and

1259
01:21:27,319 --> 01:21:30,560
a spray of glass. I spread my arms wide and slurred,

1260
01:21:30,720 --> 01:21:35,880
make me bitch. Mister security henchman was done with my bullshit.

1261
01:21:36,319 --> 01:21:38,800
In a flash, he unlocked the gate and came thundering

1262
01:21:38,800 --> 01:21:41,720
outside with his fists clenched. He was a good five

1263
01:21:41,760 --> 01:21:44,479
inches taller than me, and he was built like a refrigerator.

1264
01:21:44,920 --> 01:21:48,000
A lightning bolt of adrenaline slammed across my nervous system,

1265
01:21:48,439 --> 01:21:52,239
hot and sizzling. I knew this feeling very well. It

1266
01:21:52,319 --> 01:21:57,079
was simultaneously the best and worst feeling imaginable. My heart

1267
01:21:57,159 --> 01:22:01,359
rate jumped into high gear and my senses became painfully sharp.

1268
01:22:01,760 --> 01:22:03,920
It felt like I was ascending to a higher level

1269
01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:08,640
of consciousness. It was overwhelming, terrifying, and exhilarating all at once.

1270
01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:13,039
It was like being reborn. Above all, it was familiar.

1271
01:22:13,439 --> 01:22:16,279
I had been in this exact same situation many many

1272
01:22:16,319 --> 01:22:19,000
times in the past. I was about to fight, and

1273
01:22:19,039 --> 01:22:22,560
the outcome would be either victory or death. My reality

1274
01:22:22,560 --> 01:22:26,560
abruptly fractured in two. Here in the present, I was

1275
01:22:26,600 --> 01:22:29,680
circling away from an opponent on a cold, wintry street.

1276
01:22:30,199 --> 01:22:32,159
At the same time, I was circling away from a

1277
01:22:32,159 --> 01:22:36,319
different opponent inside a massive steel cage. It was oppressively

1278
01:22:36,359 --> 01:22:39,800
hot in there, and the noise of the crowd was disorienting.

1279
01:22:40,239 --> 01:22:42,039
It was my first fight, and I was scared out

1280
01:22:42,039 --> 01:22:45,079
of my mind. How slated to face my bunk mate

1281
01:22:45,119 --> 01:22:47,680
that night. The kiddy told me I'd soon die in

1282
01:22:47,720 --> 01:22:52,159
the cage. His number was fourteen. This was his tenth fight.

1283
01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:56,000
The house was taking wagers as usual, but only a

1284
01:22:56,039 --> 01:22:59,159
few of the spectators bothered to place a bet. According

1285
01:22:59,199 --> 01:23:01,600
to the digital screen high up on the wall, the

1286
01:23:01,600 --> 01:23:04,520
odds against me were one hundred to one. Before the

1287
01:23:04,560 --> 01:23:06,960
match began, the director strolled into the cage to have

1288
01:23:06,960 --> 01:23:10,199
a quick word with fourteen. My bunkmate nodded at his

1289
01:23:10,279 --> 01:23:12,960
words as He stared at me over his shoulder. There

1290
01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:15,760
was a predatory gleam in his eye. When he was

1291
01:23:15,800 --> 01:23:18,439
done talking of fourteen, the director ambled over to my

1292
01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:22,279
corner and grasped me by the arm. He said, do

1293
01:23:22,319 --> 01:23:25,439
you see all these people out there? He came to

1294
01:23:25,479 --> 01:23:29,920
watch you die. I started to hyperventilate. I wiped the

1295
01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:32,119
sweat out of my eyes and gassed yes, sir, I know.

1296
01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:35,359
The Director's eyes were as blue and serene as the

1297
01:23:35,399 --> 01:23:40,479
midsummer day. He said, mercy doesn't exist behind these bars.

1298
01:23:40,920 --> 01:23:43,800
One of you was gonna die tonight. Remember everything I've

1299
01:23:43,840 --> 01:23:45,840
taught you, and maybe you come out of this alive.

1300
01:23:47,359 --> 01:23:49,640
The director turned away from me, raising his hand at

1301
01:23:49,640 --> 01:23:52,159
someone in the control room as he headed for the door.

1302
01:23:53,159 --> 01:23:55,039
There was a sharp clang as he swung it shut

1303
01:23:55,079 --> 01:23:59,359
behind him, and he locked it. Fourteen was shadow boxing

1304
01:23:59,399 --> 01:24:03,159
and jumping, a sweat glistening on his skinny torso. His

1305
01:24:03,239 --> 01:24:06,600
expression was blank, but his eyes were burning in their sockets.

1306
01:24:07,920 --> 01:24:11,520
The lights above the crowd went dim, and the announcer's smooth,

1307
01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:15,800
deep voice came echoing out of the sound system. Good evening,

1308
01:24:16,000 --> 01:24:20,000
ladies and gentlemen. Our first match tonight features number seventeen,

1309
01:24:20,439 --> 01:24:23,760
the newcomer in the red trunks. He's facing ten time

1310
01:24:23,920 --> 01:24:26,880
veteran of the cage. He savage with the heart of

1311
01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:29,720
a lion, So please put your hands together for number

1312
01:24:29,800 --> 01:24:36,600
four team. There was a tidal wave of cheering in

1313
01:24:36,640 --> 01:24:40,159
the audience. Fourteen raised his fist in the air. He

1314
01:24:40,279 --> 01:24:43,239
was already a crowd favorite. They all wanted to see

1315
01:24:43,279 --> 01:24:46,199
him win again. I could feel their collective disdain for

1316
01:24:46,359 --> 01:24:51,760
me and their applause. They were excited to watch me die.

1317
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:58,359
The announcer bellowed, fighters, get ready, four three two and go.

1318
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:02,159
As soon as the shrill whine and the buzzer filled

1319
01:25:02,199 --> 01:25:05,000
the smoky air, Fourteen came boiling across the cage at

1320
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:07,399
a dead run. I jumped to the side and narrowly

1321
01:25:07,399 --> 01:25:10,199
avoid being tackled to the floor. Fourteen rolled to his

1322
01:25:10,199 --> 01:25:13,039
feet in a nimble somersault, and he charged at me again.

1323
01:25:13,399 --> 01:25:16,079
I dodged away from a storm of windmill punches, and

1324
01:25:16,159 --> 01:25:18,760
I ran for the opposite corner. My endless hours of

1325
01:25:18,800 --> 01:25:21,039
training had flown out the window when the buzzer went off.

1326
01:25:21,079 --> 01:25:23,119
I was too scared to fight back. I was too

1327
01:25:23,119 --> 01:25:25,359
scared to think. All I could do was run. I

1328
01:25:25,439 --> 01:25:28,439
was relentlessly chased around the cage as the crowd screamed

1329
01:25:28,439 --> 01:25:31,079
abuse at me. I stumbled when I was trying to pivot,

1330
01:25:31,239 --> 01:25:32,960
and he nailed me with a hard shot to the

1331
01:25:32,960 --> 01:25:35,319
back of the head, and I went down with stars

1332
01:25:35,359 --> 01:25:38,880
exploding behind my eyes. The audience hollered their approval. I

1333
01:25:38,920 --> 01:25:40,840
tried to roll out of the way, but fourteen landed

1334
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:42,600
on me with all of his weight, cracking two of

1335
01:25:42,600 --> 01:25:45,680
my ribs on impact. He pinned my flailing arms to

1336
01:25:45,720 --> 01:25:48,239
the floor with his knees, and he leaned down to

1337
01:25:48,319 --> 01:25:51,479
bite my face. I twisted away from his snapping teeth

1338
01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:54,880
as he clamped down on my ear instead burned like fire.

1339
01:25:55,359 --> 01:25:59,479
My agonizing wails made the crowd go wild. My opponent

1340
01:25:59,520 --> 01:26:02,000
spat at the un of my mangled ear across the cage.

1341
01:26:02,159 --> 01:26:04,199
Then he went back in for a piece of my nose.

1342
01:26:04,479 --> 01:26:06,399
I smacked the top of my head into his mouth,

1343
01:26:06,479 --> 01:26:09,960
breaking his front teeth in the process. I yanked one

1344
01:26:09,960 --> 01:26:11,920
of my arms free and grabbed the back of his head,

1345
01:26:12,119 --> 01:26:15,640
pulling him down to latch onto his cheek. I shook

1346
01:26:15,640 --> 01:26:17,720
my head like a dog, and his flesh tore open

1347
01:26:17,800 --> 01:26:21,439
between my teeth. Hot coppery blood spurting into my mouth.

1348
01:26:21,760 --> 01:26:24,720
Fourteen let out a scream and grabbed my testicle, squeezing

1349
01:26:24,720 --> 01:26:27,439
them with both hands. A wave of agony jolted into

1350
01:26:27,439 --> 01:26:29,880
my stomach, and I released my bear trap on his face.

1351
01:26:30,279 --> 01:26:32,920
He battered my face with some wild punches, and then

1352
01:26:32,960 --> 01:26:35,000
I bucked him off to the side. He tried to

1353
01:26:35,079 --> 01:26:36,800
jump on me again, and I pummeled him with a

1354
01:26:36,840 --> 01:26:39,600
few donkey kicks to create some space. We both gained

1355
01:26:39,600 --> 01:26:41,920
our feet and fourteen came at me with a blizzard

1356
01:26:41,960 --> 01:26:44,800
of wild punches. I tagged him with a hand jab

1357
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:46,920
to the nose, and then I laid him down with

1358
01:26:46,960 --> 01:26:49,439
a right across the chin. My opponent hit the floor

1359
01:26:49,439 --> 01:26:51,720
and I jumped on him. He immediately dug his thumbs

1360
01:26:51,720 --> 01:26:54,479
into my eyes. I shut my eyelids tight against the

1361
01:26:54,479 --> 01:26:57,439
assault and grabbed his thumbs, bending them backwards until they

1362
01:26:57,520 --> 01:27:01,119
both snapped. I dragged his arm down by his broken

1363
01:27:01,159 --> 01:27:03,159
digits and pinned them to the floor with my knees.

1364
01:27:03,479 --> 01:27:05,800
I was dimly aware that we were both screeching at

1365
01:27:05,800 --> 01:27:08,079
the top of our lungs, but our cries were lost

1366
01:27:08,079 --> 01:27:10,960
beneath the a static roaring of the crowd. Reality had

1367
01:27:11,000 --> 01:27:15,000
been reduced to spurting blood and rancid sweat. Pain inflicted

1368
01:27:15,039 --> 01:27:18,279
and pain received. The fear was gone. There was only

1369
01:27:18,439 --> 01:27:21,000
murder in my heart. I felt a feral species of

1370
01:27:21,119 --> 01:27:23,600
joy had the look of terror on his face. I

1371
01:27:23,640 --> 01:27:26,720
would kill him for hurting me so terribly. I destroy him.

1372
01:27:26,960 --> 01:27:29,960
I started driving my elbows into his unprotected face. His

1373
01:27:30,039 --> 01:27:34,479
nose exploded, his cheekbones snapped, his eye sockets shattered. That

1374
01:27:34,600 --> 01:27:36,960
I wasn't done yet. My mind was lost in a

1375
01:27:37,000 --> 01:27:39,960
tidal wave of violence. There was no crowd, no cage,

1376
01:27:40,119 --> 01:27:43,239
nothing at all except the brutal task in hand. Fourteen

1377
01:27:43,319 --> 01:27:46,079
was unconscious at this point, but I still wasn't done.

1378
01:27:46,319 --> 01:27:48,680
I broke both of his arms, and then I repeatedly

1379
01:27:48,720 --> 01:27:51,439
stomped on his head. His body went stiff from the

1380
01:27:51,479 --> 01:27:54,800
resulting brain trauma, but I still wasn't done. I started

1381
01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:57,039
jumping on him like a trampoline. I felt his ribs

1382
01:27:57,039 --> 01:27:59,760
cave in beneath my feet. When the director finally came

1383
01:27:59,800 --> 01:28:02,359
into pulled me off. I was trying my best to

1384
01:28:02,520 --> 01:28:06,920
rip away his lower jaw. He thrust my arm into

1385
01:28:06,920 --> 01:28:11,079
the air and the buzzer went off. It was over.

1386
01:28:16,720 --> 01:28:18,520
My opponent was dying on the floor and I was

1387
01:28:18,560 --> 01:28:25,359
the victor. The entire arena was on their feet, bellowing

1388
01:28:25,479 --> 01:28:32,039
and delirious with bloodshed. In the dim, smoky atmosphere of

1389
01:28:32,039 --> 01:28:36,159
the arena, they looked like a horde of demons, screeching

1390
01:28:36,199 --> 01:28:38,800
and flailing their arms in an ecstasy of murder lust.

1391
01:28:40,279 --> 01:28:43,560
The pa thundered to life as the announcers shouted, and

1392
01:28:43,640 --> 01:28:47,159
the winner is ruthless Rookie, the child beast with the

1393
01:28:47,239 --> 01:28:55,159
killer instinct number seven ty I yanked my arm out

1394
01:28:55,159 --> 01:28:58,640
of the director's grasp. I leapt up to cling to

1395
01:28:58,680 --> 01:29:01,720
the bars of the cage. Lord back at the mob

1396
01:29:01,760 --> 01:29:06,239
with blood smeared mouth, and they were absolutely wild. As

1397
01:29:06,279 --> 01:29:08,760
the director dragged me away from the cage in a

1398
01:29:08,840 --> 01:29:16,800
wrist lock, the audience was chanting seventeen seventeen, seventeen and

1399
01:29:16,880 --> 01:29:19,079
mindless fury drained away. By the time he got back

1400
01:29:19,119 --> 01:29:24,279
to the dormitory, leaving me in a dreamlike state of shock.

1401
01:29:28,319 --> 01:29:32,119
The bunk above mine had already been stripped of its sheets.

1402
01:29:32,920 --> 01:29:34,960
There would soon be a new fourteen to replace my

1403
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:40,560
fallen opponent, and the cycle would begin again. The director

1404
01:29:40,600 --> 01:29:44,000
brought out a first aid kit. He started disinfecting, snipping,

1405
01:29:44,079 --> 01:29:46,840
and stitching at my wounds with his usual air of

1406
01:29:46,880 --> 01:29:52,840
calm detachment. There was a horrible and painful process. By

1407
01:29:52,880 --> 01:29:55,279
the time the director was finished patching me up, I

1408
01:29:55,319 --> 01:29:58,479
was trembling all over. He leaned down to look me

1409
01:29:58,479 --> 01:30:01,600
in the eye, and I cowered away from him. I

1410
01:30:01,640 --> 01:30:03,920
was expecting a punch in the head for being unable

1411
01:30:03,960 --> 01:30:08,479
to hide my pain, but he didn't hurt me. Instead,

1412
01:30:08,479 --> 01:30:12,880
he quietly murmured, that was impressive, Probably the most impressive

1413
01:30:12,920 --> 01:30:16,920
debut I've ever seen. The director paused to let that

1414
01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:21,079
sink in, and then he added, you have the potential

1415
01:30:21,119 --> 01:30:26,399
to become a great fighter. Seventeen damaldell here take this.

1416
01:30:27,319 --> 01:30:30,920
You've earned it. The director gave me a hint of

1417
01:30:30,920 --> 01:30:34,319
a smile as he pushed something into my hand, and

1418
01:30:34,359 --> 01:30:38,640
then he left me alone in my bunk. As soon

1419
01:30:38,680 --> 01:30:41,399
as the door closed behind him, my entire being clenched

1420
01:30:41,399 --> 01:30:47,079
like a fist and started sobbing into my pillow. When

1421
01:30:47,079 --> 01:30:49,920
the tears ran dry, I remembered the object that was

1422
01:30:49,920 --> 01:30:56,880
clenched in my hand. It was a candy bar. I

1423
01:30:56,960 --> 01:30:59,439
curled up in my side and cradled it to my chest.

1424
01:30:59,600 --> 01:31:02,600
My heart. My heart was broken, but it was also

1425
01:31:02,680 --> 01:31:08,239
boiling with hatred. I hated the farm, I hated the

1426
01:31:08,359 --> 01:31:11,279
armed guards who watched over us. I hated all the

1427
01:31:11,359 --> 01:31:14,479
other captives, and I hated the spectators who paid to

1428
01:31:14,520 --> 01:31:18,520
watch us kill each other. But most of all, I

1429
01:31:18,680 --> 01:31:23,039
hated the director. He'd beaten me, tortured me, and starved

1430
01:31:23,039 --> 01:31:26,000
me on many occasions. Mere wounds could not convey how

1431
01:31:26,079 --> 01:31:30,239
much I hated him. But I still hate the candy

1432
01:31:30,279 --> 01:31:36,960
bar and that made me hate him even more. I

1433
01:31:37,119 --> 01:31:41,000
vowed I'd face him in the cage someday. The last

1434
01:31:41,039 --> 01:31:43,279
thing he would see before his vision faded to black

1435
01:31:43,479 --> 01:31:47,119
would be the flame of defiance in my eyes, the

1436
01:31:47,159 --> 01:31:50,800
flame that he failed to extinguish with his cruelty. And

1437
01:31:50,880 --> 01:31:56,520
when his last breath came rattling out of his chest,

1438
01:31:57,640 --> 01:32:02,399
this filthy world would become just a little bit cleaner.

1439
01:32:11,039 --> 01:32:13,279
The memory drifted away like a puff of steam into

1440
01:32:13,319 --> 01:32:15,800
the cold air, leaving me standing in the middle of

1441
01:32:15,840 --> 01:32:19,520
the road with a corpse at my feet. His face

1442
01:32:19,600 --> 01:32:22,600
was a mess. The heel of my boot had left

1443
01:32:22,600 --> 01:32:26,520
a horrible dent between his eyebrows. I dragged him into

1444
01:32:26,520 --> 01:32:29,159
the narrow gap between the crusty snow bank and the fence,

1445
01:32:29,640 --> 01:32:33,239
and I slipped through the open gate. I came bursting

1446
01:32:33,279 --> 01:32:35,680
through the door of the front entrance with Morty's gun

1447
01:32:35,720 --> 01:32:37,880
in my hand. I pointed it at a middle aged

1448
01:32:37,880 --> 01:32:40,239
woman who was sitting at the reception desk. I told

1449
01:32:40,239 --> 01:32:43,640
her to keep quiet and show me her hands. She

1450
01:32:43,680 --> 01:32:45,760
looked up from her computer screen and met my gaze

1451
01:32:45,760 --> 01:32:50,119
with a complete lack of concern. She said, we've been

1452
01:32:50,119 --> 01:32:56,600
expecting you. It's pretty sure I knew this woman. She

1453
01:32:56,760 --> 01:33:03,600
was older now, but her face was familiar. I know you. You

1454
01:33:02,800 --> 01:33:07,000
sat at the table, you watched me starve. She gave

1455
01:33:07,000 --> 01:33:10,239
me a polite smile and replied, yes, I did. My

1456
01:33:10,359 --> 01:33:12,920
name is Rosemary. I was the housemaid out of the farm.

1457
01:33:13,000 --> 01:33:16,039
Now I'm a bookkeeper. You have to adapt to stay

1458
01:33:16,079 --> 01:33:22,399
relevant in these days. I demanded, where's Paul Stevens. She

1459
01:33:22,520 --> 01:33:25,920
made a vague gesture with her hands. Well, she said quietly,

1460
01:33:26,359 --> 01:33:28,119
he's standing behind you with a gun pointed at the

1461
01:33:28,159 --> 01:33:31,560
back of your head. Something cold and hard tapped against

1462
01:33:31,600 --> 01:33:39,039
the base of my skull. A familiar voice said, don't move.

1463
01:33:40,279 --> 01:33:44,880
Wrap your weapon. Can't get away from you. Good. Now,

1464
01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:48,640
put your hands in the air. My hand searched through

1465
01:33:48,640 --> 01:33:54,239
my pockets. I confiscated my knife, my notepad, and a

1466
01:33:54,239 --> 01:33:58,720
half a roll of duct tape. The voice instructed me

1467
01:33:58,800 --> 01:34:00,680
to walk down the hall and keep my hands in

1468
01:34:00,680 --> 01:34:03,039
the air. Two men were waiting for me at the

1469
01:34:03,119 --> 01:34:04,479
end of the hall. One of them put a gun

1470
01:34:04,520 --> 01:34:07,520
against my ribs, and they took me to an empty room.

1471
01:34:10,880 --> 01:34:12,720
I was tied to a wooden chair and left alone

1472
01:34:12,720 --> 01:34:17,079
for a while. There was only the chair, a tarp

1473
01:34:17,159 --> 01:34:20,399
covering something on the floor, and a single naked light

1474
01:34:20,439 --> 01:34:24,520
bulb dangling from the ceiling. Large patches of the concrete

1475
01:34:24,520 --> 01:34:28,560
floor were stained a murky reddish brown color. I spotted

1476
01:34:28,560 --> 01:34:30,079
a drain in the middle of the room, and I

1477
01:34:30,119 --> 01:34:36,119
stared at it with mounting the apprehension not good. I

1478
01:34:36,199 --> 01:34:38,119
craned my head around to have a look behind me.

1479
01:34:38,920 --> 01:34:41,079
I saw a coil of garden hose attached to a

1480
01:34:41,119 --> 01:34:44,720
faucet on the wall behind me. Not good at all.

1481
01:34:45,880 --> 01:34:49,279
After a long agonizing weight, the door swung open and

1482
01:34:49,359 --> 01:34:52,159
a man stepped into the room. My heart lurched in

1483
01:34:52,239 --> 01:35:00,520
my chest. It was him, my kidnapper, my tormentor boogeyman

1484
01:35:00,600 --> 01:35:05,520
that haunted me and my forgotten dreams. He was holding

1485
01:35:05,560 --> 01:35:07,840
my notepad in one hand and a pistol in the other.

1486
01:35:09,560 --> 01:35:12,920
He gave me a placid smile and murmured, it really

1487
01:35:13,039 --> 01:35:17,840
is you. I can hardly believe in you recognize me.

1488
01:35:18,960 --> 01:35:21,119
My name is Paul Stevens, but you knew me as

1489
01:35:21,199 --> 01:35:25,520
the director, I interjected. He raised an eyebrow at the

1490
01:35:25,640 --> 01:35:28,600
venom in my tone. He waved the notepad in the

1491
01:35:28,600 --> 01:35:31,800
air and said, I gave you a gift. You've been

1492
01:35:31,800 --> 01:35:35,359
wasting it living like a bum in an abandoned warehouse.

1493
01:35:36,239 --> 01:35:40,600
Such a shame, I responded. Everything is a shame. The

1494
01:35:40,720 --> 01:35:45,279
entire world is a shame. How did you find me? Oh,

1495
01:35:45,439 --> 01:35:48,520
it wasn't too difficult. After I got the news about Morty,

1496
01:35:48,520 --> 01:35:51,600
I had people out knocking on doors. There are cameras

1497
01:35:51,640 --> 01:35:54,239
everywhere these days, and you're involved in that sort of

1498
01:35:54,239 --> 01:35:57,319
business I specialize in. It pays to be paranoid that

1499
01:35:57,399 --> 01:35:59,880
we narrowed down your location. We eventually made contact with

1500
01:36:00,079 --> 01:36:03,439
street walking House. Guessed she told me everything I need

1501
01:36:03,439 --> 01:36:09,000
to know. He looked slightly amused. Now imagine my surprise

1502
01:36:09,039 --> 01:36:13,000
that I discovered who her father was. The universe works

1503
01:36:13,000 --> 01:36:19,520
in mysterious ways. She'd know about this unique connection between us.

1504
01:36:19,520 --> 01:36:22,680
All I can understand why you didn't tell her it's

1505
01:36:22,720 --> 01:36:26,000
about a story, isn't it. He gave me a questioning glance,

1506
01:36:26,079 --> 01:36:28,800
and at it. She says, you talk to an imaginary

1507
01:36:28,800 --> 01:36:33,760
friend sometime. She says, she thinks you're a bit mentally unstable.

1508
01:36:34,560 --> 01:36:38,600
Not uncommon for someone in your circumstances. I suppose that true.

1509
01:36:40,560 --> 01:36:44,760
I kept quiet and waited. Paul waited along with me.

1510
01:36:47,199 --> 01:36:48,800
After a while, he saw that I wasn't going to

1511
01:36:48,840 --> 01:36:52,239
answer the question, and he waved it off and plowed onward. Well.

1512
01:36:52,279 --> 01:36:54,119
As I was listening to her talk, you know, I

1513
01:36:54,199 --> 01:36:58,680
kept thinking to myself, is it seventeen? Is that even possible?

1514
01:36:59,640 --> 01:37:01,800
I look for you for many years, never found you.

1515
01:37:02,159 --> 01:37:04,439
I assumed you were long dead. But here you are.

1516
01:37:05,239 --> 01:37:09,560
I'm glad you're still around and everything's happened. I think

1517
01:37:09,560 --> 01:37:13,239
we both need some closure. He held up his hand

1518
01:37:13,279 --> 01:37:15,800
and said, I'm not angry about Morty, by the way,

1519
01:37:15,800 --> 01:37:18,159
he was on his way out, regardless of your interference.

1520
01:37:18,560 --> 01:37:22,520
The booze, the drugs, self loathing. It's a vicious cycle.

1521
01:37:23,840 --> 01:37:28,119
That's the thing about Gil. It's a spiritual cancer eats

1522
01:37:28,159 --> 01:37:31,840
your inner strength. I probably should have done it myself

1523
01:37:31,840 --> 01:37:35,399
a long time ago. The sound of my old name

1524
01:37:35,520 --> 01:37:40,199
was setting on edge. I'm not a number anymore. By

1525
01:37:40,239 --> 01:37:45,720
the way, my name is David, Paul snorted, What nonsense

1526
01:37:45,800 --> 01:37:48,079
I created you. Your name's whatever I say it is.

1527
01:37:48,159 --> 01:37:50,920
You're terrible at breaking and entering, by the way, saw

1528
01:37:50,920 --> 01:37:53,159
in a hole to the door. That's ridiculous. You can't

1529
01:37:53,199 --> 01:37:55,439
pick a lock. Should have just popped it open with

1530
01:37:55,479 --> 01:37:59,079
a pride bar. It was my first time. Give me

1531
01:37:59,119 --> 01:38:01,840
a break. Didn't create me, by the way, you stole me.

1532
01:38:03,000 --> 01:38:07,079
Paul leaned down to look me in the eye. And

1533
01:38:07,119 --> 01:38:10,760
who were you before you were stolen? What would you

1534
01:38:10,800 --> 01:38:14,960
have become? I doubt the outcome would have been much different.

1535
01:38:16,079 --> 01:38:18,399
Do you remember anything about your life for the cage? No,

1536
01:38:19,960 --> 01:38:22,960
it's because you didn't have one. You were bouncing around

1537
01:38:23,039 --> 01:38:25,520
the foster care systems since you were toddling. No one

1538
01:38:25,600 --> 01:38:31,319
cared about you. You were disposable. The director waved my

1539
01:38:31,359 --> 01:38:34,359
notepad in the air. Then he slightly swatted me across

1540
01:38:34,399 --> 01:38:37,039
the face with it. You want to take revenge on me,

1541
01:38:37,119 --> 01:38:40,399
don't you me? The man who scooped you up from

1542
01:38:40,399 --> 01:38:43,960
the rabble turned you into a warrior. A child's like

1543
01:38:44,000 --> 01:38:47,079
a fresh lump of clay waiting to be molded into

1544
01:38:47,119 --> 01:38:51,920
whatever you wish. But not all clay is created equal. Seventeen,

1545
01:38:52,079 --> 01:38:55,880
you were special. I can still remember your first time

1546
01:38:55,880 --> 01:38:58,720
in the cage. You you froze up in the beginning,

1547
01:38:59,720 --> 01:39:04,239
when you finally snapped into reality of your situation. Oh

1548
01:39:04,439 --> 01:39:07,680
that was impressive. I can remember thinking to myself, this

1549
01:39:07,720 --> 01:39:13,960
one was born to fight ninety nine fights undefeated. In

1550
01:39:14,000 --> 01:39:18,199
the entire history of the operation, only one fighter had

1551
01:39:18,319 --> 01:39:24,680
more victories than you. Paul started aimlessly walking around the room.

1552
01:39:25,319 --> 01:39:27,279
You're not the only one who's been living under an

1553
01:39:27,319 --> 01:39:31,199
assumed identity, he said in a casual tone. Paul Stevens,

1554
01:39:31,239 --> 01:39:33,199
isn't my birth name. I had no idea what my

1555
01:39:33,239 --> 01:39:36,000
birth name was. No do I care at all. Just

1556
01:39:36,159 --> 01:39:40,159
like you, I was a neglected child. I never knew

1557
01:39:40,239 --> 01:39:42,399
my father, and when I was nine years old, my

1558
01:39:42,439 --> 01:39:46,199
mother traded me to a stranger for drugs. He took

1559
01:39:46,239 --> 01:39:54,239
me away. Do you know where I ended up? He

1560
01:39:54,319 --> 01:39:56,239
go to the top of the floor with the toe

1561
01:39:56,239 --> 01:39:59,359
of his shoe. I ended up at a farm in

1562
01:39:59,359 --> 01:40:05,079
the middle of no where. I started crying. Big rough

1563
01:40:05,119 --> 01:40:07,600
looking man walked over, slapped me to the ground. He

1564
01:40:07,680 --> 01:40:10,800
knelt down beside me. He said, forget about the outside world.

1565
01:40:11,199 --> 01:40:17,239
You're never going back, and from that day on I

1566
01:40:17,279 --> 01:40:21,880
started training to find the cage. Paul was amused by

1567
01:40:21,880 --> 01:40:25,399
the look of shock on my face. Why are you surprised?

1568
01:40:26,279 --> 01:40:28,319
I think I was born with a silver spoon in

1569
01:40:28,359 --> 01:40:31,560
my mouth. Every hardship you experienced at the farm, all

1570
01:40:31,600 --> 01:40:34,920
the pain, all humiliation and suffering, I had once received

1571
01:40:34,920 --> 01:40:39,359
the exact same treatment. I learned at the feat of

1572
01:40:39,399 --> 01:40:47,000
a master. I was speachless and watched him wander around

1573
01:40:47,000 --> 01:40:49,119
for a bit and tried to process the new information.

1574
01:40:50,000 --> 01:40:54,680
Finally I croaked. You were a victim, and then you

1575
01:40:54,680 --> 01:41:01,880
you turned around and became the oppressor. I just shit, man, why,

1576
01:41:03,479 --> 01:41:08,800
Paul snorted, That wasn't a victim. I was a lump

1577
01:41:08,840 --> 01:41:13,399
of clay, and it became something much better. I was

1578
01:41:13,479 --> 01:41:16,359
different from the rest of them. I didn't break. I adapted,

1579
01:41:16,800 --> 01:41:20,560
and then I started to thrive. There was a gleam

1580
01:41:20,640 --> 01:41:23,279
of wistful yearning in his eye, as if he felt

1581
01:41:23,279 --> 01:41:26,720
nostalgic for the good old days. He smiled up at

1582
01:41:26,720 --> 01:41:29,800
the ceiling and said, I look forward to stepping into

1583
01:41:29,880 --> 01:41:33,800
the cage. I won fight after fight, over and over again.

1584
01:41:33,920 --> 01:41:36,880
No one could beat me. After a hundred fights. The

1585
01:41:36,920 --> 01:41:39,840
director took me aside and said that was the last one.

1586
01:41:40,119 --> 01:41:43,239
You aren't making us money anymore. People are starting to talk,

1587
01:41:43,359 --> 01:41:45,840
they're starting to wonder about you. Some of them think

1588
01:41:45,840 --> 01:41:48,880
you're not a regular human being. They say you're immortal.

1589
01:41:51,600 --> 01:41:53,560
And after that day, I was no longer a captive,

1590
01:41:54,680 --> 01:41:58,479
Paul said, with obvious pride. I took my place the

1591
01:41:58,520 --> 01:42:01,479
director's side, and he taught me how to run the operation.

1592
01:42:03,560 --> 01:42:07,560
Paul turned to face me. His expression was pallid and neutral,

1593
01:42:07,880 --> 01:42:12,640
but his tone was thick with emotion. I became a man.

1594
01:42:13,920 --> 01:42:17,279
I decided it was time to take over. The director

1595
01:42:17,319 --> 01:42:19,479
was getting old. There was nothing more he could teach me.

1596
01:42:19,760 --> 01:42:22,039
I knew I was stronger than him. I was faster

1597
01:42:22,199 --> 01:42:25,079
and better in every way. So I challenged him to

1598
01:42:25,119 --> 01:42:27,520
face me in the cage. I told him when it

1599
01:42:27,560 --> 01:42:34,640
takes all. He agreed to the fight. Then he tried

1600
01:42:34,680 --> 01:42:38,279
to flee the country. I sent his own man to

1601
01:42:38,279 --> 01:42:41,880
grab him at the airport. Why didn't you let him go?

1602
01:42:43,199 --> 01:42:47,319
Wouldn't it have been easier that way, well, Paul said,

1603
01:42:48,039 --> 01:42:50,840
you'd probably think so, but no, and that's for a

1604
01:42:50,960 --> 01:42:56,880
very good reason. He knew too much. Names dates, financial details,

1605
01:42:57,000 --> 01:43:00,720
all kinds of dangerous information. Someone in that position has

1606
01:43:00,760 --> 01:43:04,119
to be accounted for every single day of their life,

1607
01:43:04,239 --> 01:43:11,119
right up until they die or certain people start getting nervous.

1608
01:43:13,119 --> 01:43:15,520
So these people must understand what they're doing is wrong.

1609
01:43:15,600 --> 01:43:20,960
Then Paul chose to ignore me. He continued his story

1610
01:43:21,399 --> 01:43:24,880
with great distaste. He said the man was a fraud.

1611
01:43:26,399 --> 01:43:29,720
He was begging for mercy this year. Hypocrisy of his

1612
01:43:29,760 --> 01:43:34,359
whining and crying, good Lord, drove me into a rage.

1613
01:43:34,560 --> 01:43:37,239
I ordered all his men to gather around so they

1614
01:43:37,239 --> 01:43:42,279
could witness the fate of a coward. Paul smiled fondly

1615
01:43:42,279 --> 01:43:46,439
at this memory. And when I was done with him,

1616
01:43:46,600 --> 01:43:49,560
I told my men bury him in the cornfield with

1617
01:43:49,600 --> 01:43:54,560
the rest of them. That's exactly where he went, with

1618
01:43:54,720 --> 01:43:59,760
shallow grave between the rose name was forgotten or rotten

1619
01:43:59,800 --> 01:44:05,920
in the And from that moment on I was the

1620
01:44:06,000 --> 01:44:12,640
new director. A dark shadow passed behind his eyes. He

1621
01:44:12,680 --> 01:44:15,119
suddenly pointed the gun at my head. My heart was

1622
01:44:15,119 --> 01:44:17,520
slamming in my chest, but I kept my expression neutral.

1623
01:44:18,279 --> 01:44:21,439
Paul cleared the tightness from his throat and said it

1624
01:44:21,520 --> 01:44:25,159
was more than just a business to me. Seventeen. The

1625
01:44:25,199 --> 01:44:28,680
cage was my altar people would travel from all corners

1626
01:44:28,680 --> 01:44:31,119
of the globe to worship at that altar and the

1627
01:44:31,239 --> 01:44:36,039
rich and powerful arom My congregation. When you, when you

1628
01:44:36,199 --> 01:44:45,800
ran off and you burned it down, you ruined me

1629
01:44:47,079 --> 01:44:52,119
in every conceivable manner. I spent a fortune to bury

1630
01:44:52,199 --> 01:44:58,640
the investigation. Everyone came along with their hand out. I

1631
01:44:58,680 --> 01:45:02,880
wanted to kill you back. I couldn't find you, asserts

1632
01:45:03,000 --> 01:45:05,600
high and low, but you were nowhere to be found.

1633
01:45:07,680 --> 01:45:10,479
As the last sentence was leaving his mouth, my reality

1634
01:45:10,560 --> 01:45:15,039
split down the middle. Christie's dad was whispering in my ear.

1635
01:45:16,439 --> 01:45:19,199
It happens to night. Listen for that clock to chime

1636
01:45:19,319 --> 01:45:22,760
four times at exactly four a m. It's time to go.

1637
01:45:23,439 --> 01:45:25,199
Use that key I gave you to unlock the door

1638
01:45:25,239 --> 01:45:27,239
of the bunk room. I'll take care of the rest.

1639
01:45:27,800 --> 01:45:33,199
Come outside and I'll be waiting. But something went wrong.

1640
01:45:34,840 --> 01:45:37,079
His now was watching the director beat him up. Behind

1641
01:45:37,079 --> 01:45:40,520
the farmhouse. A group of his henchmen was cheering him on.

1642
01:45:41,359 --> 01:45:44,319
Mordy was one of them. When the director knocked him

1643
01:45:44,319 --> 01:45:48,039
down for the last time, Morty spat on him. As

1644
01:45:48,199 --> 01:45:50,119
I was crawling across the floor of the bunk room

1645
01:45:50,119 --> 01:45:53,159
in the darkness, the key was clutched in my sweaty hand.

1646
01:45:53,680 --> 01:45:55,560
The bunk room was locked with a dead bolt that

1647
01:45:55,640 --> 01:45:58,319
had been reversed so they could be locked from the

1648
01:45:58,319 --> 01:46:01,960
outside without a key. No one had ever gotten around

1649
01:46:01,960 --> 01:46:04,960
a block in the keyhole on the other side. It

1650
01:46:05,119 --> 01:46:08,760
was terrified the key wouldn't work, but it did. I

1651
01:46:08,880 --> 01:46:12,800
was free. This was followed by a slideshow of extreme

1652
01:46:12,960 --> 01:46:16,720
violence against the unsuspecting guards. He was the dead hours

1653
01:46:16,760 --> 01:46:20,840
of a long, boring night shift. He was sleepy and complacent.

1654
01:46:21,039 --> 01:46:23,199
None of them were prepared for a stealth attack. From

1655
01:46:23,199 --> 01:46:26,600
inside the farmhouse. I watched myself bash a guard and

1656
01:46:26,640 --> 01:46:29,680
the skull with a paperweight. I grabbed a carving knife

1657
01:46:29,720 --> 01:46:31,760
on my way through the kitchen, and I buried it

1658
01:46:31,800 --> 01:46:36,760
straight up to the handle in another guard's neck. I

1659
01:46:36,880 --> 01:46:39,600
encountered the last one out in the back porch. He

1660
01:46:39,720 --> 01:46:41,600
was slouched on the top step with his back to

1661
01:46:41,640 --> 01:46:44,720
the door. I could see a cigarette smoke curling lazily

1662
01:46:44,760 --> 01:46:47,319
in the glow of a kerosene lamp. He heard the

1663
01:46:47,319 --> 01:46:49,960
door open and asked what's up over his shoulder. I

1664
01:46:50,079 --> 01:46:52,399
crossed the space between us in a second. There was

1665
01:46:52,399 --> 01:46:54,920
a brief struggle, and then I was clinging to his

1666
01:46:55,039 --> 01:46:58,000
back with my arms around his neck. The guard fell

1667
01:46:58,079 --> 01:47:01,119
backwards to crush me against the creaky planks beneath us.

1668
01:47:01,319 --> 01:47:04,079
I tensed myself against the impact, and I grimly held

1669
01:47:04,119 --> 01:47:07,000
on right before he lost consciousness. He started kicking his

1670
01:47:07,079 --> 01:47:10,119
legs wildly, and the kerosene lamp went flying in a

1671
01:47:10,199 --> 01:47:13,840
shower of glass, fuel spilling across the old wood, and

1672
01:47:13,880 --> 01:47:17,319
the flames roared to life. I quickly released the hold

1673
01:47:17,359 --> 01:47:22,279
and scuttled off the porch. A few seconds later, the

1674
01:47:22,319 --> 01:47:25,359
guard woke up to his legs on fire. The fabric

1675
01:47:25,399 --> 01:47:28,520
of his kerosenes splattered jeans was melting into his skin.

1676
01:47:28,920 --> 01:47:31,319
He bounced to his feet and ran down the steps,

1677
01:47:31,359 --> 01:47:34,239
screeching like a banshee as he tried to pull them off.

1678
01:47:34,520 --> 01:47:37,399
His shirt also caught fire, followed by his long, greasy

1679
01:47:37,479 --> 01:47:41,319
tangle of hair. Instead of rolling to smother the flames,

1680
01:47:41,319 --> 01:47:43,960
the guard panicked and sprinted in the direction of the

1681
01:47:44,000 --> 01:47:47,520
irrigation pond. He was a human candle lighting up the

1682
01:47:47,600 --> 01:47:49,840
darkness of the barnyard as he ran into the night.

1683
01:47:50,159 --> 01:47:52,800
He collapsed into a blazing heap long before he reached

1684
01:47:52,840 --> 01:47:56,079
the pond. Behind me. The entire porch was now engulfed

1685
01:47:56,079 --> 01:48:00,479
in flames. It was old and explosively flammable. Fire was

1686
01:48:00,520 --> 01:48:03,039
already lapping at the side of the house. My eyes

1687
01:48:03,039 --> 01:48:06,000
were drawn to movement at a window on the second story.

1688
01:48:06,760 --> 01:48:09,720
It was the bunk room. Hands were pounding on the glass,

1689
01:48:09,760 --> 01:48:13,319
but it was in vain. The glass was several inches thick,

1690
01:48:13,359 --> 01:48:16,680
and it was shatterproof. With a nasty jolt, I remember

1691
01:48:16,680 --> 01:48:18,239
that I had locked the door behind me when I

1692
01:48:18,279 --> 01:48:23,159
snuck into the hallway. The rest of the kids were

1693
01:48:23,159 --> 01:48:26,960
trapped in there, and they were going to burn to death.

1694
01:48:27,920 --> 01:48:29,800
I scrambled around the side of the house to the

1695
01:48:29,840 --> 01:48:32,439
front door. I tried to bash it in with various

1696
01:48:32,479 --> 01:48:35,840
objects on hand, including a cinder block and a log

1697
01:48:35,920 --> 01:48:38,640
from the woodpile, but it was useless. All the doors

1698
01:48:38,640 --> 01:48:41,399
had been reinforced with still plates. I hurled the log

1699
01:48:41,439 --> 01:48:43,399
in a window and it was almost flattened when it

1700
01:48:43,439 --> 01:48:47,279
came bouncing back at me. At this time, the fire

1701
01:48:47,319 --> 01:48:51,640
was enveloping the entire back of the house. The heat

1702
01:48:52,199 --> 01:48:54,760
was becoming too much to bear. I knew that a

1703
01:48:54,800 --> 01:48:57,039
mob of the director's goons would soon be racing the

1704
01:48:57,079 --> 01:49:03,239
scene very shortly, probably also the director himself. There was

1705
01:49:03,239 --> 01:49:05,399
nothing I could do for the kids who were trapped upstairs.

1706
01:49:08,479 --> 01:49:13,479
I had to go. I was aware that Paul Stevens

1707
01:49:13,680 --> 01:49:16,680
was still yapping away in the background, but I couldn't

1708
01:49:16,720 --> 01:49:19,399
hear what he was saying. I was looking down at

1709
01:49:19,479 --> 01:49:21,640
Christie's dad in the flickering light of the house fire.

1710
01:49:22,640 --> 01:49:24,640
He had been chained to the steak and the far

1711
01:49:24,800 --> 01:49:28,119
reaches of the barnyard. His face was a lumpy, swollen

1712
01:49:28,159 --> 01:49:31,640
mask of dried blood. I thought he was already dead,

1713
01:49:31,680 --> 01:49:34,279
but one of the eyelids fluttered open, revealing a murky,

1714
01:49:34,359 --> 01:49:38,279
bloodshot eye. The other eye socket was now an empty,

1715
01:49:38,800 --> 01:49:46,279
gaping hole. It was starting to smell bad. My would

1716
01:49:46,279 --> 01:49:49,199
be savior reached from my shoe with a trembling hand.

1717
01:49:50,039 --> 01:49:53,680
His lips skinned back from his broken teeth, and he gasped,

1718
01:49:54,159 --> 01:50:00,199
spurning up the others make it out. I mutely. He

1719
01:50:00,399 --> 01:50:03,399
shook my head. I couldn't bring myself to tell him

1720
01:50:03,439 --> 01:50:06,840
what happened. It was too horrible to speak out loud.

1721
01:50:07,439 --> 01:50:12,520
He rasped, God, have mercy on us all. What a mess.

1722
01:50:13,319 --> 01:50:15,640
I didn't tell him anything. He beat me up and

1723
01:50:15,720 --> 01:50:19,159
tortured me. I wouldn't talk. He dug my eyes out

1724
01:50:19,199 --> 01:50:24,279
with a spoon. I wouldn't talk. I said, let me

1725
01:50:24,399 --> 01:50:26,479
keep the other one so I look for you in hell.

1726
01:50:28,359 --> 01:50:32,920
Told him he's a little life piece. Shit. That was all.

1727
01:50:36,159 --> 01:50:40,520
Christie's dad clutched his belly and grown their hurts. Look

1728
01:50:41,239 --> 01:50:43,560
forget about all the other shit. You can still get

1729
01:50:43,600 --> 01:50:46,000
out of here, just like we planned it. Run through

1730
01:50:46,000 --> 01:50:48,720
the cornfield, cross the road, run through the next one.

1731
01:50:49,159 --> 01:50:52,760
They'll be waiting for you on the other side. I asked,

1732
01:50:53,199 --> 01:50:56,800
what about you, and Christie's dad coughed up a gout

1733
01:50:56,840 --> 01:51:01,800
of thick red blood in response, I ain't going nowhere, kid.

1734
01:51:02,279 --> 01:51:04,680
Listen to me for a minute, Okay, I want you

1735
01:51:04,760 --> 01:51:07,039
to know something. I want you to know I'm not

1736
01:51:07,079 --> 01:51:10,039
actually a bad person. I'm here because I needed the money.

1737
01:51:10,560 --> 01:51:13,000
I can't work a regular job on him. I'm a

1738
01:51:13,039 --> 01:51:15,720
fuck up. I've always been that way. I know that

1739
01:51:15,840 --> 01:51:19,119
with us fuck ups, we've got families too. I have

1740
01:51:19,199 --> 01:51:22,000
a wife and a little girl. Her name is Kristen.

1741
01:51:24,319 --> 01:51:26,960
He paused to cough up some more bloody phlegm, and

1742
01:51:27,039 --> 01:51:29,279
I realized that I could see him more clearly now

1743
01:51:30,720 --> 01:51:33,600
dawn was coming. He struggled to take it a breath,

1744
01:51:33,600 --> 01:51:38,359
and he said, you ever cross her path. Tell her

1745
01:51:39,600 --> 01:51:44,760
your daddy loved you very much and he's sorry. Promise

1746
01:51:44,800 --> 01:51:48,279
you'll do that for me. He waved me off and

1747
01:51:48,319 --> 01:51:51,359
wrapped get out of here for the leave you behind.

1748
01:51:53,039 --> 01:51:55,039
And then I was running through the cornfield as fast

1749
01:51:55,039 --> 01:51:58,479
as I could. The overgrown grass was dragging at my

1750
01:51:58,520 --> 01:52:03,319
feet behind me bright orange flames who were stretching up

1751
01:52:03,359 --> 01:52:06,600
to me the sky. I plowed through the outer row

1752
01:52:06,640 --> 01:52:09,800
of cornstalks and kept running. The leaves were dripping wet

1753
01:52:09,840 --> 01:52:11,600
from the morning dew. I put my arms up to

1754
01:52:11,640 --> 01:52:13,720
keep them from slapping me in the face, but I

1755
01:52:13,760 --> 01:52:16,119
was still getting soaked. The water was hitting me in

1756
01:52:16,159 --> 01:52:18,880
the face and I was almost choking. I snapped back

1757
01:52:18,920 --> 01:52:20,920
into the present and I discovered I was being sprayed

1758
01:52:20,920 --> 01:52:22,960
in the face with a garden hose on the wall.

1759
01:52:24,359 --> 01:52:27,880
Paul released the trigger and said, you left for a while, seventeen.

1760
01:52:28,000 --> 01:52:33,199
You're having a conversation with thin air. I guess Christy

1761
01:52:33,319 --> 01:52:36,640
was right, you're not well. And I was done coughing

1762
01:52:36,720 --> 01:52:41,600
up water. I choked where she I want to see her.

1763
01:52:41,640 --> 01:52:44,760
I have something I need to tell her. Paul strolled

1764
01:52:44,760 --> 01:52:46,640
over to the tarp that was heaped in the corner

1765
01:52:46,640 --> 01:52:52,079
of the room, he said, now she's under here, sure

1766
01:52:52,119 --> 01:52:55,279
you want to see her. I fought an immediate surge

1767
01:52:55,279 --> 01:52:57,600
of rage. I strained against the ropes that were binding

1768
01:52:57,640 --> 01:53:00,239
me to the chair and yelled, why you horrible? He's

1769
01:53:00,279 --> 01:53:03,359
a shit. You didn't have to do that. Paul gave

1770
01:53:03,399 --> 01:53:06,920
me a sterning monk, and he replied, but I did

1771
01:53:06,960 --> 01:53:10,479
have to do that, so she saw my face. Honestly,

1772
01:53:10,520 --> 01:53:13,920
it's your own fault. Happened because you came back to

1773
01:53:14,159 --> 01:53:17,840
poke the hornet's nest. Happened because you refuse to let

1774
01:53:17,880 --> 01:53:22,800
sleeping dogs lie. Closed my eyes against the tears that

1775
01:53:22,880 --> 01:53:31,159
wanted to flow. I was done crying. Never helped. Your

1776
01:53:31,319 --> 01:53:34,640
victim mentality makes me sick. You know, I think we

1777
01:53:34,760 --> 01:53:38,119
all done catching up here, don't you just a few

1778
01:53:38,119 --> 01:53:40,880
more questions? We can wrap this up now. This has

1779
01:53:40,920 --> 01:53:46,680
been bothering me. So you went missing for eighteen years,

1780
01:53:48,520 --> 01:53:50,600
no sign of you, no trace, It all just gone.

1781
01:53:50,680 --> 01:53:54,000
So where did you go? The dogs lost your scent

1782
01:53:54,079 --> 01:53:55,840
at the side of the road. Someone must have been

1783
01:53:55,880 --> 01:53:57,840
waiting for you in a vehicle. So who was it?

1784
01:53:58,720 --> 01:54:01,039
Why do they choose to get involve in the first place?

1785
01:54:01,079 --> 01:54:04,640
Where do they take you? What happened after that. Really

1786
01:54:04,760 --> 01:54:10,279
loved some answers here seventeen helped me out slowly, I responded,

1787
01:54:12,479 --> 01:54:14,520
I can remember seeing a car when I came running

1788
01:54:14,520 --> 01:54:17,520
out of the corn, a blue sedan of some kind.

1789
01:54:17,960 --> 01:54:21,760
Back door popped open. I got inside. That's all I

1790
01:54:21,760 --> 01:54:25,600
can remember. Paul could see I was telling the truth.

1791
01:54:26,119 --> 01:54:29,439
His lips pressed together in an angry line. He poked

1792
01:54:29,439 --> 01:54:32,199
his head out into the hallway and shouted, hey, someone

1793
01:54:32,239 --> 01:54:36,159
come bring me another tart. It gave me a somber

1794
01:54:36,199 --> 01:54:39,359
look and said, there's no point in drawing this out

1795
01:54:39,399 --> 01:54:43,479
any longer. It's a shame. Ninety nine victory is under

1796
01:54:43,479 --> 01:54:47,199
your belt. It's so very very close. He shook his

1797
01:54:47,239 --> 01:54:51,880
head at knee, a gesture of sorrow and regret. Timing

1798
01:54:51,880 --> 01:54:54,479
of your appearance in my life. It's all very strange.

1799
01:54:54,479 --> 01:54:56,680
It turned up just as I was preparing to start

1800
01:54:56,720 --> 01:55:01,680
the operation again. In today's world, eighteen years is a

1801
01:55:01,720 --> 01:55:05,279
long time. No one even remembers that fire. The rumors

1802
01:55:05,279 --> 01:55:07,640
are long dead. The new arena puts the old one

1803
01:55:07,680 --> 01:55:12,680
to shame. It's too bad you're a shall we say

1804
01:55:12,720 --> 01:55:15,920
broken Gonna use someone like you to assist a training

1805
01:55:15,960 --> 01:55:20,720
the new batch of fighters they faintly murmured, Yeah, you're

1806
01:55:20,760 --> 01:55:25,399
broken too, you just don't know it. Paul's lips twisted

1807
01:55:25,479 --> 01:55:29,399
upward with a slight grin. Me. No, no, not at all.

1808
01:55:29,720 --> 01:55:33,840
I'm a complete and entirely cohesive trinity of mind, body,

1809
01:55:33,880 --> 01:55:37,199
and spirit. You, on the other hand, are a colossal

1810
01:55:37,239 --> 01:55:42,760
waste of potential. You could have been something remarkable, but

1811
01:55:42,920 --> 01:55:52,720
now now you're just nothing. The two burly, shovel faced

1812
01:55:52,760 --> 01:55:55,279
thugs hurried into the room, both of them carrying them

1813
01:55:55,279 --> 01:55:57,960
folded up tarp in their arms. One of them rumbled,

1814
01:55:58,279 --> 01:56:01,079
we brought you to of them, just in case. Paul

1815
01:56:01,079 --> 01:56:04,520
didn't answer him. He was watching me instead. His smug

1816
01:56:04,520 --> 01:56:07,640
grin faded as my own lips curled in a wide,

1817
01:56:07,800 --> 01:56:12,119
hateful smile. He waved the gun in my face and grunted,

1818
01:56:12,319 --> 01:56:17,079
what what's so funny? Seventeen? My smile got even wider.

1819
01:56:17,680 --> 01:56:21,399
I said, I don't think anything's funny. I don't really

1820
01:56:21,479 --> 01:56:27,199
understand humor. I'm smiling because you're wrong. You think my

1821
01:56:27,279 --> 01:56:31,159
story is over, but it's actually just beginning. Paul gave

1822
01:56:31,199 --> 01:56:33,840
me a look of disbelief. The hell are you talking about?

1823
01:56:34,000 --> 01:56:39,680
Are you completely detached from reality? Why? Why am I

1824
01:56:39,720 --> 01:56:42,960
tied to a chair soon. It's because you're full of shit.

1825
01:56:43,079 --> 01:56:46,399
That's why you say you're immortal. But you're scared of me,

1826
01:56:46,840 --> 01:56:50,079
and you should be scared because I can take you.

1827
01:56:51,760 --> 01:56:56,560
Paul's eyes went narrow. What did you just say to me,

1828
01:56:58,079 --> 01:57:01,680
I'm scared. I'm not scared of anything under the sun,

1829
01:57:01,760 --> 01:57:06,520
you pathetic idiot. I coughed up some harsh laughter and

1830
01:57:06,560 --> 01:57:10,319
snorted bullshit. I could recognize fear when I see it.

1831
01:57:10,479 --> 01:57:12,920
I'm something of an expert. My entire life has been

1832
01:57:12,920 --> 01:57:15,840
dominated by fear. It's been that way for as long

1833
01:57:15,880 --> 01:57:21,600
as I can remember. The director started to curse me out,

1834
01:57:21,920 --> 01:57:24,560
and I barked, be quiet. You think you're some kind

1835
01:57:24,560 --> 01:57:27,720
of unstoppable super villain because what you've won a hundred

1836
01:57:27,720 --> 01:57:30,199
fights in the cage. Well, I'm right behind you. I

1837
01:57:30,279 --> 01:57:32,560
just need one more kick, if a can. You want

1838
01:57:32,560 --> 01:57:34,960
to revenge me too, ass also fight me in the cage.

1839
01:57:36,680 --> 01:57:40,840
Paul stiffly replied that's pointless. I'm like, I'm not gonna

1840
01:57:40,880 --> 01:57:44,960
do that. I nodded to myself and replied, yeah, thoughts,

1841
01:57:44,960 --> 01:57:48,760
so well, if you don't do it, you're a coward

1842
01:57:49,199 --> 01:57:51,840
and your men will never respect you ever. Again. For

1843
01:57:51,960 --> 01:57:55,680
someone like you, respect is everything, isn't it. You rule

1844
01:57:55,800 --> 01:57:58,880
by intimidation. If you lose that respect, why would they

1845
01:57:58,960 --> 01:58:01,520
take orders from you? Why wouldn't they just kill you

1846
01:58:01,840 --> 01:58:08,479
and take over the operation? Look behind you, they're all watching.

1847
01:58:10,920 --> 01:58:12,880
The two lackeys with the tarps had been joined by

1848
01:58:12,920 --> 01:58:15,640
at least ten others. They were huddled together out in

1849
01:58:15,640 --> 01:58:18,680
the hallway, observing on a conversation unfold with great interest.

1850
01:58:19,399 --> 01:58:21,399
Paul turned to stare at them, and they all stared

1851
01:58:21,439 --> 01:58:25,520
right back. Their faces were neutral, but their eyes were

1852
01:58:25,520 --> 01:58:31,159
bright and watchful. Paul grunted. Someone got him out of

1853
01:58:31,159 --> 01:58:34,640
the chair and take him to the arena. As he

1854
01:58:34,680 --> 01:58:37,039
stormed out of the room, I called out, watch him.

1855
01:58:37,279 --> 01:58:39,239
If he runs from this fight, he'll go straight to

1856
01:58:39,279 --> 01:58:41,920
the Feds and cut himself a deal. It's the only

1857
01:58:41,960 --> 01:58:44,039
way he could stay alive. And he'll throw you all

1858
01:58:44,119 --> 01:58:47,159
under the bus without a single thought. He's a coward.

1859
01:58:48,039 --> 01:58:51,319
Paul whirled around his hands bawled into fists, and shouted,

1860
01:58:51,479 --> 01:58:56,800
you'll suffer for that. I repeated, watch him, fellas, and

1861
01:58:56,880 --> 01:58:59,760
I chuckled to myself. When they all started following him

1862
01:58:59,800 --> 01:59:02,199
down the hall, one of them stayed behind to cut

1863
01:59:02,199 --> 01:59:05,359
me loose from my chair. He grudgingly said, he's got

1864
01:59:05,399 --> 01:59:08,560
more guts than me, Bud, give you that one square

1865
01:59:08,640 --> 01:59:10,680
up to that guy. He's killed more people than I'm known.

1866
01:59:12,000 --> 01:59:14,119
I stood up and rubbed the pins and needles, feeling

1867
01:59:14,119 --> 01:59:17,159
away as the blood rushed back to my hands. I

1868
01:59:17,199 --> 01:59:23,119
asked him, what's your name? He reluctantly answered, my name's Larry.

1869
01:59:23,479 --> 01:59:26,199
What's it to you. I looked him in the eye

1870
01:59:26,279 --> 01:59:30,199
and said, that's what's gonna happen, Larry. I'm gonna kill

1871
01:59:30,239 --> 01:59:33,119
your boss in that cage. I'm gonna walk out of here,

1872
01:59:33,479 --> 01:59:35,560
and after today, you and all the rest of those

1873
01:59:35,560 --> 01:59:38,159
dirt bags are gonna change your ways. You're gonna fly

1874
01:59:38,359 --> 01:59:40,439
the straight and arrow for the rest of your lives,

1875
01:59:40,720 --> 01:59:43,319
because if you don't, I'll come back for you and

1876
01:59:43,439 --> 01:59:47,279
I'll kill you. Larry aimed his gun at my chest,

1877
01:59:47,560 --> 01:59:49,520
as if to assure himself he was still in control

1878
01:59:49,560 --> 01:59:54,800
of the situation. Not gonna happen. You're already dead. Yeah,

1879
01:59:55,039 --> 02:00:02,079
I agreed, this is true. Absolutely. Larry took a couple

1880
02:00:02,159 --> 02:00:04,840
steps back, creating a little more distance between him and

1881
02:00:04,920 --> 02:00:09,800
my strange, humorless grin. If I myself wondering about the

1882
02:00:09,920 --> 02:00:13,000
nature and number of crimes this lumbering ogre had undoubtedly

1883
02:00:13,000 --> 02:00:18,800
committed in the past. Where's the line between understandable unforgivable?

1884
02:00:19,439 --> 02:00:22,840
And how far past that line can someone tread before

1885
02:00:22,920 --> 02:00:26,439
murder is the only solution. Larry jerked his head in

1886
02:00:26,520 --> 02:00:30,399
the doorway. Get moving, hang a left, keep going, try anything,

1887
02:00:30,439 --> 02:00:33,920
I'll pull a trigger. They marched me at gunpoint to

1888
02:00:33,920 --> 02:00:36,720
the warehouse portion of the building, muttering a stream of

1889
02:00:36,760 --> 02:00:40,640
tough guye blusterings as he trailed behind me. The warehouse

1890
02:00:40,640 --> 02:00:43,000
had been converted into a new version of the old arena.

1891
02:00:43,479 --> 02:00:46,119
The folding chairs had been replaced with theater seating and

1892
02:00:46,159 --> 02:00:51,159
an incline, but everything else looked exactly the same, including

1893
02:00:51,159 --> 02:00:54,880
the cage. There was a circular tier of private booths

1894
02:00:54,920 --> 02:00:58,520
along the back of the arena, luxurious seating for wealthier

1895
02:00:58,560 --> 02:01:02,159
patrons who might wish for a more discreet viewing experience.

1896
02:01:02,720 --> 02:01:05,840
The cage itself was twenty feet long on all four sides,

1897
02:01:06,319 --> 02:01:09,000
and it towered at least ten feet in the air.

1898
02:01:11,439 --> 02:01:14,079
The wall behind the cage was dominated by a giant

1899
02:01:14,159 --> 02:01:18,439
screen with a crisp, high definition picture who was displaying

1900
02:01:18,560 --> 02:01:22,880
the arena from different angles. The hidden cameras switched to

1901
02:01:22,920 --> 02:01:25,680
a view of me walking down the aisle, zooming in

1902
02:01:25,720 --> 02:01:28,439
for a close up shot of my face that looked

1903
02:01:28,479 --> 02:01:32,840
haggard and exhausted. My eyes were dark and hostile, but

1904
02:01:32,880 --> 02:01:35,640
there was a bewildering look on my face, as if

1905
02:01:35,680 --> 02:01:40,600
I didn't know where I was anymore. This wasn't a lie.

1906
02:01:40,840 --> 02:01:43,800
Reality had split in two as soon as I set

1907
02:01:43,880 --> 02:01:46,760
foot in the arena. Half of me was in the present,

1908
02:01:47,159 --> 02:01:50,399
a grown man whose footsteps were echoing across a vast

1909
02:01:50,439 --> 02:01:53,640
and empty space. That the other half was a frightened

1910
02:01:53,640 --> 02:01:57,319
and traumatized child. In the present, the room was empty,

1911
02:01:58,079 --> 02:02:02,119
but in the past the seats were full of strangers

1912
02:02:02,520 --> 02:02:06,159
with rough voices and empty eyes. Some of them wanted

1913
02:02:06,199 --> 02:02:09,880
to watch me die. Others wanted me to survive so

1914
02:02:09,960 --> 02:02:12,960
I could fight for their amusement another day. All of

1915
02:02:13,000 --> 02:02:16,640
them wanted me to suffer because our suffering was the

1916
02:02:16,680 --> 02:02:20,359
main attraction. The money they lost or won from their

1917
02:02:20,359 --> 02:02:25,079
wagering was secondary. They wanted us to bleed. They wanted

1918
02:02:25,199 --> 02:02:29,079
us to cry and scream and sob for our mothers

1919
02:02:29,119 --> 02:02:34,800
with our last gasping breath. Our suffering was like a

1920
02:02:34,880 --> 02:02:42,439
drug for them. It made them feel alive. The director

1921
02:02:42,520 --> 02:02:45,359
was waiting for me at the cage. His men were

1922
02:02:45,399 --> 02:02:48,479
all sitting in the front row, muttering amongst themselves as

1923
02:02:48,479 --> 02:02:51,840
they waited for the action to start. We glowered at

1924
02:02:51,840 --> 02:02:54,760
each other for a moment, and then he asked, are

1925
02:02:54,800 --> 02:02:58,880
you sure about this bill? It would be faster, wouldn't

1926
02:02:58,920 --> 02:03:05,520
feel a thing? I replied, yeah, I'm sure. Stop trying

1927
02:03:05,520 --> 02:03:08,159
to get out of it. There was a stir of

1928
02:03:08,239 --> 02:03:11,159
murmuring and whispering amongst the hired thugs in the front row.

1929
02:03:11,840 --> 02:03:13,800
They had never seen anyone talk to their boss like

1930
02:03:13,840 --> 02:03:18,000
this before. No one would ever dare He growled, I

1931
02:03:18,039 --> 02:03:20,800
gave you a chance. You're gonna regret that. You're gonna

1932
02:03:20,800 --> 02:03:25,640
regret your entire existence. I already do. I sighed and

1933
02:03:25,720 --> 02:03:29,880
started pulling off my boots. You know the rules, no shoes,

1934
02:03:30,600 --> 02:03:34,319
no weapons. I piled my coat and with my sweatshirt

1935
02:03:34,359 --> 02:03:37,319
on top of my boots. Paul did the same. He'd

1936
02:03:37,359 --> 02:03:39,800
grown a bit of a pot belly in his middle age.

1937
02:03:40,199 --> 02:03:42,920
There was still a heavy layer of muscle rippling beneath

1938
02:03:42,920 --> 02:03:45,760
the extra padding. I pointed at the dragon tattoo on

1939
02:03:45,840 --> 02:03:48,119
his chest and said, I think it should have been

1940
02:03:48,159 --> 02:03:52,039
a vulture. Instead. Paul's lips curled into a snarl, but

1941
02:03:52,119 --> 02:03:54,439
he ignored me, swinging open the door of the cage,

1942
02:03:55,439 --> 02:04:00,560
after you seventeen, I looked forward to this calmly. I replied,

1943
02:04:01,239 --> 02:04:05,840
you know the rules, Paul, no weapons. Empty your pockets.

1944
02:04:06,760 --> 02:04:11,199
I don't have any pockets. Who's stalin now? I crossed

1945
02:04:11,239 --> 02:04:14,560
my arms and waited, staring at him with a faint

1946
02:04:14,560 --> 02:04:17,920
smile on my lips. Finally, he muttered a curse and

1947
02:04:18,000 --> 02:04:20,680
pulled my knife from his back pocket. He tossed it

1948
02:04:20,720 --> 02:04:23,399
onto his pile of clothes and grunted, must have forgot

1949
02:04:23,399 --> 02:04:28,399
about that. I said, sure you did, and I entered

1950
02:04:28,399 --> 02:04:33,199
the cage. The adrenaline overload was starting to thrumb and

1951
02:04:33,279 --> 02:04:36,640
pulse across my body in waves. My heart was pumping faster,

1952
02:04:36,800 --> 02:04:39,760
my breathing more rapid. I looked out into the seats

1953
02:04:39,760 --> 02:04:42,560
behind the director's men and was unsurprised to see they

1954
02:04:42,560 --> 02:04:46,479
were now occupied by restless spirits. They had once cried

1955
02:04:46,520 --> 02:04:49,600
out for mercy, but no one heard their screams. They

1956
02:04:49,640 --> 02:04:52,319
had wept a collective ocean of tears, but no one

1957
02:04:52,399 --> 02:04:55,840
gave them comfort. They were the dead, the silence to

1958
02:04:55,880 --> 02:04:59,359
the forgotten. Their light had been extinguished for the amusement

1959
02:04:59,399 --> 02:05:02,680
of evilnes men. They were hundreds of them out there,

1960
02:05:03,039 --> 02:05:07,039
and almost all of them were children. There was row

1961
02:05:07,199 --> 02:05:11,119
upon row of gaunt faces and dark, mournful eyes. There

1962
02:05:11,119 --> 02:05:12,960
were so many of them they filled both of the

1963
02:05:13,039 --> 02:05:17,159
aisles and were lined up three deep behind the last row.

1964
02:05:18,520 --> 02:05:23,520
I saw Christy out there, standing beside her father, and

1965
02:05:23,520 --> 02:05:25,680
then I spotted the child version of myself in one

1966
02:05:25,720 --> 02:05:29,960
of the aisles, standing motionless and silent. Re locked eyes,

1967
02:05:30,479 --> 02:05:33,039
and he gave me a very slight nod of approval.

1968
02:05:36,319 --> 02:05:41,000
It was time for justice to be served. Paul entered

1969
02:05:41,000 --> 02:05:43,880
the cage with an arrogant swagger. There was a nasty

1970
02:05:43,960 --> 02:05:46,359
smirk on his lips. One of his goons locked the

1971
02:05:46,399 --> 02:05:48,640
door behind him, and we stared each other down from

1972
02:05:48,680 --> 02:05:52,239
across the cage, I called out, do you see them

1973
02:05:52,239 --> 02:05:55,479
out there in the stands, Paul. They've been waiting for you.

1974
02:05:56,359 --> 02:06:00,840
They've been waiting a long long time. Paul's smirk faded

1975
02:06:00,880 --> 02:06:03,159
a bit. He shot a glance out of the seat,

1976
02:06:03,279 --> 02:06:05,640
shifting his weight uneasy from one foot to the other.

1977
02:06:06,520 --> 02:06:11,600
What are you talking about, he demanded, Who's watching? I replied, dead,

1978
02:06:12,960 --> 02:06:17,640
And I started shuffling closer. They're here to claim their revenge. Oh,

1979
02:06:17,720 --> 02:06:20,479
by the way, winner takes Saul If I walk out

1980
02:06:20,479 --> 02:06:24,680
of here, this operation's mine. That sound fair. A primal

1981
02:06:24,760 --> 02:06:27,399
scream tore out of his throat, and he lunged at me.

1982
02:06:27,800 --> 02:06:30,760
I slipped under a right cross and drove my shoulder

1983
02:06:30,800 --> 02:06:33,800
into his stomach. Paul staggered back, but he quickly wrapped

1984
02:06:33,840 --> 02:06:36,720
his arms around my torso and flipped me into the air.

1985
02:06:36,920 --> 02:06:39,520
I instinctively rolled when I hit the floor, barely avoiding

1986
02:06:39,520 --> 02:06:42,000
his trademark stump to the head. He tried to jump

1987
02:06:42,039 --> 02:06:43,680
on me, but I kicked him in the stomach with

1988
02:06:43,720 --> 02:06:46,479
both feet. Paul stumbled back with a grunt of pain,

1989
02:06:46,600 --> 02:06:49,199
wind milling his arms to keep his balance. He had

1990
02:06:49,239 --> 02:06:51,920
a startled look on his face. No one had hit

1991
02:06:52,000 --> 02:06:55,359
him back in a long long time. I popped up

1992
02:06:55,359 --> 02:06:57,399
to my feet and we started circling each other, both

1993
02:06:57,399 --> 02:07:01,800
of us looking for an opening to attack. You won't

1994
02:07:01,840 --> 02:07:05,600
walk out of here. No one can beat me. I

1995
02:07:05,640 --> 02:07:08,479
responded with a flying kick to his chest. He bounced

1996
02:07:08,479 --> 02:07:10,039
off the wall of the cage and I took him

1997
02:07:10,039 --> 02:07:12,399
to the floor. I tried to shove my thumb into

1998
02:07:12,399 --> 02:07:14,359
his eyes, but he caught my wrist and sank his

1999
02:07:14,439 --> 02:07:16,960
teeth into my forearm. He had my other arm trapped

2000
02:07:17,000 --> 02:07:18,720
against his side, so I battered the back of his

2001
02:07:18,760 --> 02:07:21,600
skull with my forehead until you let go. We rolled

2002
02:07:21,640 --> 02:07:23,800
on the cold cement, both of us struggling to gouge

2003
02:07:23,840 --> 02:07:26,600
an eye or bite off an ear. Paul's teeth scraped

2004
02:07:26,640 --> 02:07:28,439
the bridge of my nose, and I chomped down on

2005
02:07:28,479 --> 02:07:30,960
his lower lip. He let out a shrill scream as

2006
02:07:31,000 --> 02:07:33,319
I stretched it to the point of tearing it, and

2007
02:07:33,439 --> 02:07:36,720
he clamped his fingers into my sides, twisting and pulling

2008
02:07:36,720 --> 02:07:40,000
with savage ferocity. It hurt like hell. I let go

2009
02:07:40,000 --> 02:07:42,000
of his mangled lip, and he shoved me away with

2010
02:07:42,039 --> 02:07:45,039
a forearm to the throat, who scrambled to our feet again,

2011
02:07:45,079 --> 02:07:47,399
both of us panting and leaking blood on the floor.

2012
02:07:47,880 --> 02:07:50,439
Our audience of cutthroats and gunmen had all left their

2013
02:07:50,479 --> 02:07:52,680
seats to crowd around the cage. Some of them were

2014
02:07:52,720 --> 02:07:56,199
yelling encouragement to their boss, and others were yelling for

2015
02:07:56,279 --> 02:07:59,760
more bloodshed. In general, nothing mattered except their desire for

2016
02:08:00,720 --> 02:08:03,840
We clashed again, exchanging a quick barrage of punches and kicks.

2017
02:08:04,199 --> 02:08:06,760
I kept the pressure on, striking hard and fast, and

2018
02:08:06,840 --> 02:08:10,199
I steadily drove him backwards. My opponent was emanating an

2019
02:08:10,239 --> 02:08:13,479
akward stench of desperation. He got his nose broken with

2020
02:08:13,520 --> 02:08:16,159
a jab, followed by a glancing shot across the jaw.

2021
02:08:16,479 --> 02:08:18,840
He tried to shoot in for a takedown. I stepped

2022
02:08:18,840 --> 02:08:21,640
aside and threw him across the cage. He hit the

2023
02:08:21,640 --> 02:08:24,199
floor hard and rolled into the steel bars with a

2024
02:08:24,239 --> 02:08:27,720
tremendous bang. As he pulled himself to his feet, one

2025
02:08:27,720 --> 02:08:29,840
of his men handed him something through the bars. When

2026
02:08:29,880 --> 02:08:32,479
he turned to face me, light shimmered from a reflective

2027
02:08:32,479 --> 02:08:37,680
surface in his hand. He was holding my knife. I

2028
02:08:37,800 --> 02:08:39,760
dodged a stab to the heart that would have been fatal,

2029
02:08:40,039 --> 02:08:42,239
and then I was on the run. Paul stalked me

2030
02:08:42,319 --> 02:08:44,680
from one end of the cage to the next, relentlessly

2031
02:08:44,720 --> 02:08:47,439
attempting to herd me into a corner. His breath was

2032
02:08:47,479 --> 02:08:49,560
snorting in and out like a bull. One of his

2033
02:08:49,640 --> 02:08:51,840
eyes was swollen shot, and his face was a mask

2034
02:08:51,880 --> 02:08:54,720
of blood. He looked like Christie's dad in the last

2035
02:08:54,760 --> 02:08:57,439
minutes of his life. Beaten to a pulp and chained

2036
02:08:57,479 --> 02:09:00,680
to a pole by his neck, I panted, it's not

2037
02:09:00,760 --> 02:09:02,439
fun when you're on the other side of the stick

2038
02:09:02,479 --> 02:09:05,039
his it. I skipped away from another jab, but this

2039
02:09:05,119 --> 02:09:08,119
time my bare feet slipped on the blood spattered concrete.

2040
02:09:08,159 --> 02:09:10,239
I went down in one knee. The tip of the

2041
02:09:10,279 --> 02:09:13,319
blade sliced across my cheek as I fell back, releasing

2042
02:09:13,359 --> 02:09:16,039
a thick curtain of red blood. He dropped on me

2043
02:09:16,119 --> 02:09:18,199
with all of his weight. The knife poised a stab

2044
02:09:18,239 --> 02:09:20,600
through my chest. I squinted my eyes against the rain

2045
02:09:20,640 --> 02:09:22,960
of hot blood and rancid sweat that was dripping off

2046
02:09:23,000 --> 02:09:26,199
of his face, and I concentrated on controlling his knife hand.

2047
02:09:26,600 --> 02:09:31,319
He wheezed, he comes, here, comes to darkness. I finally

2048
02:09:31,359 --> 02:09:33,840
managed to twist to the side, forcing the knife point

2049
02:09:33,840 --> 02:09:35,600
away from my chest, and at the same time I

2050
02:09:35,800 --> 02:09:38,239
ran the top of my head into the shelf of

2051
02:09:38,279 --> 02:09:41,439
his chin. I heard a sharp pop as his jaw

2052
02:09:41,560 --> 02:09:43,840
fractured and the knife came tumbling out of his hand.

2053
02:09:44,159 --> 02:09:47,479
Paul slumped over with a fresh spattering of crimson drizzling

2054
02:09:47,479 --> 02:09:49,840
from his mouth, and I threw him off. He fell

2055
02:09:49,880 --> 02:09:53,079
hard onto his unprotected face, and the impact smashed his

2056
02:09:53,159 --> 02:09:57,239
already broken nose into a shapeless mess. I hunkered on

2057
02:09:57,319 --> 02:10:00,560
my knee and struggled to catch my breath, watching as

2058
02:10:00,560 --> 02:10:02,760
he squirmed towards the door of the cage. He left

2059
02:10:02,760 --> 02:10:05,279
a trail of smeared blood in his wake. Just as

2060
02:10:05,279 --> 02:10:07,520
he reached the destination, I dragged him back to the

2061
02:10:07,520 --> 02:10:10,079
center of the cage by his feet. He promptly curled

2062
02:10:10,119 --> 02:10:12,560
up into a fetal position, his hands copped over his

2063
02:10:12,640 --> 02:10:18,680
face to protect his skull. Get up, I commanded, and

2064
02:10:18,800 --> 02:10:21,640
slapped his hands away. Fight isn't over till one of

2065
02:10:21,720 --> 02:10:28,239
us is dead. You're still breathing. Get up. Paul refused

2066
02:10:28,239 --> 02:10:31,359
to look at me. He raised a trembling hand and

2067
02:10:31,439 --> 02:10:35,560
a ward off gesture, and he whispered. He went, this

2068
02:10:35,920 --> 02:10:41,640
is done. I told him that's not how this works,

2069
02:10:42,880 --> 02:10:47,039
and he started crying. His men watched this undignified scene

2070
02:10:47,079 --> 02:10:51,039
unfold with sullen displeasure. He tried to crawl for the

2071
02:10:51,119 --> 02:10:53,039
exit a second time, and once again I dragged him

2072
02:10:53,079 --> 02:10:56,079
back to the middle of the cage. I rolled him

2073
02:10:56,119 --> 02:10:58,239
over with my foot and plopped down on his stomach,

2074
02:10:58,479 --> 02:11:02,359
pinning his arms with my knees. I looked down at

2075
02:11:02,399 --> 02:11:08,039
his bleeding, mangled face and I said, you messed me up.

2076
02:11:08,119 --> 02:11:11,119
You sung of a bitch. You messed me up really bad.

2077
02:11:11,520 --> 02:11:13,479
I put my memories to sleep so I could hide

2078
02:11:13,520 --> 02:11:15,920
from my own pass but now they're waking up, and

2079
02:11:16,000 --> 02:11:22,399
I can't hide anymore. I have work to do. It's

2080
02:11:22,439 --> 02:11:24,920
probably quite painful for him to speak, but Paul managed

2081
02:11:24,920 --> 02:11:29,000
to say, you won't get away with me. You've made

2082
02:11:29,039 --> 02:11:33,680
a horrible mistake seventeen. I screamed into his face. My

2083
02:11:33,880 --> 02:11:37,680
name is David, and I slapped him across his broken jaw.

2084
02:11:37,920 --> 02:11:40,680
I'm not a number. Do you understand I have a name,

2085
02:11:41,000 --> 02:11:48,159
and that name is David. Say it David, and I

2086
02:11:48,199 --> 02:11:52,720
nodded in agreement. That's right. You're gonna give me some names,

2087
02:11:52,720 --> 02:11:54,840
mister director. You're everyone who was involved with running this

2088
02:11:54,880 --> 02:11:59,800
operation of yours. I want their names. Paul tried to

2089
02:12:00,039 --> 02:12:03,079
bit a wat of bloody mucus at me. It plopped

2090
02:12:03,119 --> 02:12:05,159
onto his own chest, directly over the head of his

2091
02:12:05,279 --> 02:12:13,800
dragon tattoo. Mmm. He gurgled, No, go find yourself fair enough,

2092
02:12:14,880 --> 02:12:17,399
and I wrapped my hands around his neck. I could

2093
02:12:17,439 --> 02:12:19,319
have used my knife and ended it much faster, but

2094
02:12:19,359 --> 02:12:22,760
he didn't deserve a quick death. I wanted him to suffer.

2095
02:12:23,800 --> 02:12:27,239
Paul squirmed and struggled as he kicked his legs and

2096
02:12:27,439 --> 02:12:29,800
drummed his heels against the floor. His face began to

2097
02:12:29,840 --> 02:12:32,520
turn a deep shade of red. It darkened into an

2098
02:12:32,640 --> 02:12:35,399
ugly purple, and his tongue started to protrude from his mouth.

2099
02:12:36,600 --> 02:12:39,079
At the end, he voided his bowels into his pants,

2100
02:12:39,079 --> 02:12:46,880
and I released my grip on his throat. It was done,

2101
02:12:48,399 --> 02:12:53,720
My boogey Man was no more. At that instant, I

2102
02:12:53,760 --> 02:13:01,119
heard a high pitched shriek from outside the cage. It

2103
02:13:01,279 --> 02:13:04,239
was Paul. He was trying to run from the crowd

2104
02:13:04,239 --> 02:13:06,560
of spirits, but they caught him in one of the aisles.

2105
02:13:06,880 --> 02:13:09,560
Paul screamed in agony as they surged over him, and

2106
02:13:09,600 --> 02:13:13,760
he was torn to pieces. As soon as his cries

2107
02:13:13,840 --> 02:13:16,399
went silent, I heard a panic shout echo from the

2108
02:13:16,399 --> 02:13:20,520
far side of the room. Was Paul, again, desperate for

2109
02:13:20,560 --> 02:13:23,359
a way to escape. The crowd pursued him once more,

2110
02:13:23,399 --> 02:13:26,000
and they ripped him limb from limb, But then he

2111
02:13:26,079 --> 02:13:28,319
popped up yet again. His body made a whole mere

2112
02:13:28,479 --> 02:13:31,000
seconds after he was dismembered. This time, he made it

2113
02:13:31,079 --> 02:13:33,840
up the stairs to one of the exit doors. The

2114
02:13:33,920 --> 02:13:36,479
spirits caught him out in the hallway, and the process

2115
02:13:36,560 --> 02:13:47,039
repeated itself. Again and again and again. I looked around

2116
02:13:47,079 --> 02:13:51,359
at Paul's former employees. Then I saw that none of

2117
02:13:51,359 --> 02:13:55,000
them could perceive what was happening to their dearest departed boss.

2118
02:13:57,840 --> 02:14:03,159
No one could see or hear it but me. That

2119
02:14:03,279 --> 02:14:06,760
was probably for the best. I rattled the door and said,

2120
02:14:07,439 --> 02:14:12,399
I'm the boss around here. Now let me out. We've

2121
02:14:12,439 --> 02:14:16,640
got stuff to do. They all exchanged uneasy glances with

2122
02:14:16,680 --> 02:14:20,079
each other. Larry cautiously shuffled over to the door's pistol,

2123
02:14:20,079 --> 02:14:23,720
gripped tightly in both hands. Yeah, we're not gonna do that.

2124
02:14:25,000 --> 02:14:26,840
Be serious here, which and no one in their right

2125
02:14:26,840 --> 02:14:29,920
in mind would even consider. Larry was interrupted by a

2126
02:14:30,000 --> 02:14:33,159
large metallic ping. The dead bolt abruptly fell to the

2127
02:14:33,159 --> 02:14:35,880
cement pieces. He scuttled out of reach. As I swung

2128
02:14:35,920 --> 02:14:38,960
the door open. There was a look of sheer terror

2129
02:14:39,000 --> 02:14:42,199
in his eyes. He stammered, how did you do that?

2130
02:14:43,439 --> 02:14:48,760
I calmly replied, I didn't do anything. It was the

2131
02:14:48,840 --> 02:14:56,319
dead They want me to finish where it started. I

2132
02:14:56,359 --> 02:14:58,840
looked around at the rest of the former director's hired guns.

2133
02:15:00,479 --> 02:15:05,760
Every single one of them avoided looking me in the eye.

2134
02:15:05,960 --> 02:15:08,319
Like I just said, I'm the new boss around here,

2135
02:15:08,359 --> 02:15:11,680
and I'm shutting this down. You're all fired. Get the

2136
02:15:11,680 --> 02:15:15,399
hell out of here. Be good, or I will come

2137
02:15:15,439 --> 02:15:21,159
looking for you. Larry started to respond. I said, get

2138
02:15:21,199 --> 02:15:24,720
the hell out of here, Larry flinch, dropping his pistol

2139
02:15:24,760 --> 02:15:27,720
in the process. There was an immediate stampede up the aisles.

2140
02:15:27,880 --> 02:15:30,680
Fifteen seconds later, I was standing by myself in an

2141
02:15:30,680 --> 02:15:33,800
empty room, breathing heavily, as blood dry and in a

2142
02:15:33,880 --> 02:15:40,079
tacky crust in my skin. I got dressed and I

2143
02:15:40,119 --> 02:15:44,039
left the arena. I grabbed my knife and Larry's fallen

2144
02:15:44,039 --> 02:15:47,319
pistol before I headed up the aisle to the exit doors.

2145
02:15:48,520 --> 02:15:51,600
My first stop was a restroom, where I cleaned myself

2146
02:15:51,680 --> 02:15:56,520
up the best I could with hand soap and paper towels. Overall,

2147
02:15:56,560 --> 02:15:58,720
I came walking out of the cage in decent condition.

2148
02:15:59,399 --> 02:16:01,520
The bite of my forearm had barely torn the skin,

2149
02:16:02,159 --> 02:16:04,720
but the cut on my cheek was very bad. If

2150
02:16:04,720 --> 02:16:06,960
it had gone any deeper, my gums and teeth would

2151
02:16:06,960 --> 02:16:10,479
have been exposed. It needed stitches as soon as possible,

2152
02:16:10,880 --> 02:16:14,159
for it had become a problem. Next, I called nine

2153
02:16:14,199 --> 02:16:17,000
one one on the phone at the front desk. I

2154
02:16:17,079 --> 02:16:19,199
told the operator there were two murder victims in the

2155
02:16:19,199 --> 02:16:22,439
building and they'd find a third outside. When she started

2156
02:16:22,439 --> 02:16:25,720
asking for more details, I hung up the phone. I

2157
02:16:25,800 --> 02:16:28,520
wasn't going to be around to cooperate with first responders.

2158
02:16:28,960 --> 02:16:31,760
I had other plans. As I turned to leave, a

2159
02:16:31,760 --> 02:16:34,120
bullet whiz passed my head and punched a hole for

2160
02:16:34,239 --> 02:16:39,440
the wall. It was Rosemary. She had been hiding in

2161
02:16:39,479 --> 02:16:41,719
a cubicle at the back of the office, waiting for

2162
02:16:41,760 --> 02:16:44,040
me with a gun in her hand. Her second shot

2163
02:16:44,120 --> 02:16:46,399
hit me in the shoulder, and then I blew a

2164
02:16:46,479 --> 02:16:50,360
chunk out of her skull with Larry's pistol. My ears

2165
02:16:50,360 --> 02:16:53,680
were ringing and my shoulder was burning. Blood was already

2166
02:16:53,719 --> 02:16:57,280
soaking through my coat. I reeled out the front door

2167
02:16:57,479 --> 02:17:02,239
and lurched under the parking lot. My head started swimming

2168
02:17:02,239 --> 02:17:03,959
and my legs felt like they were going to buckle

2169
02:17:03,959 --> 02:17:07,440
beneath my weight. I could hear sirens approaching in the distance.

2170
02:17:09,520 --> 02:17:13,760
I gasped, now, fuck, and fell to my hands and knees.

2171
02:17:16,000 --> 02:17:18,440
I started to crawl towards the open gate, panting and

2172
02:17:18,479 --> 02:17:24,399
groaning like an injured animal. It wasn't fair. I didn't

2173
02:17:24,399 --> 02:17:26,760
want to die yet. I had so much work to do,

2174
02:17:27,239 --> 02:17:30,280
so many wrongs to right, and now it was. It

2175
02:17:30,319 --> 02:17:34,959
was finished before it had even got started. My shoulder gave

2176
02:17:35,000 --> 02:17:38,959
out and I collapsed on my side. This is how

2177
02:17:39,000 --> 02:17:42,639
it ended, bleeding out in the parking lot beneath the

2178
02:17:42,639 --> 02:17:48,440
gray winter sky, and evil would once again prevail, and

2179
02:17:48,479 --> 02:17:50,799
they could easily find a new director for their ghastly

2180
02:17:50,879 --> 02:17:54,920
murder games, and all my suffering would become meaningless. Just

2181
02:17:56,639 --> 02:18:00,920
it wasn't fair. As my said enzins began to fade,

2182
02:18:00,920 --> 02:18:03,600
I became dimly aware of a vehicle that was speeding

2183
02:18:03,639 --> 02:18:06,760
down the street. It crashed into a partially open gate,

2184
02:18:07,000 --> 02:18:09,280
flinging it violently against the fence, and it came to

2185
02:18:09,280 --> 02:18:13,120
a screeching halt in front of me. I thought to myself,

2186
02:18:13,159 --> 02:18:16,920
the cops got here just in time to watch me die.

2187
02:18:17,079 --> 02:18:21,479
And then I realized it. It wasn't the police at all.

2188
02:18:22,760 --> 02:18:27,399
It was a blue sedan. The back door popped open,

2189
02:18:27,440 --> 02:18:30,360
and a deep voice urged me to climb inside. I

2190
02:18:30,399 --> 02:18:34,000
summoned just enough strength to crawl into the back seat,

2191
02:18:34,479 --> 02:18:37,319
and then we were peeling away with a screech of

2192
02:18:37,440 --> 02:18:40,959
smoking rubber. I tried to make out the other occupants,

2193
02:18:40,959 --> 02:18:42,760
and I say it was too blurry for blood loss

2194
02:18:42,760 --> 02:18:46,120
to make out their features. My eyelids weighed fifty pounds,

2195
02:18:46,159 --> 02:18:48,680
and a patrick of darkness was creeping around my vision.

2196
02:18:49,239 --> 02:18:52,040
All I could do was hope for the best, and

2197
02:18:52,079 --> 02:19:00,799
then I was out cold. When I opened my eyes,

2198
02:19:00,840 --> 02:19:02,600
I was lying in a narrow cot with an IV

2199
02:19:02,719 --> 02:19:05,760
tube in my arm. An older man with graying hair

2200
02:19:05,879 --> 02:19:08,879
was sitting beside me in a plastic chair. When he

2201
02:19:08,879 --> 02:19:11,040
saw that my eyes were open, he put his book

2202
02:19:11,120 --> 02:19:15,760
down on a TV tray and patted me on the hand. Said,

2203
02:19:16,479 --> 02:19:20,360
welcome back, David. Just take it easy and relax. You're

2204
02:19:20,399 --> 02:19:25,040
safe here. Do you remember me. I was too exhausted

2205
02:19:25,040 --> 02:19:28,000
to speak out loud, so I shook my head and

2206
02:19:28,040 --> 02:19:32,079
mouth the word no. He patted my hand again. I'm

2207
02:19:32,120 --> 02:19:36,239
an old friend. Close your eyes, get some rest. We'll

2208
02:19:36,239 --> 02:19:40,399
talk again soon. I had just enough time to register

2209
02:19:40,479 --> 02:19:43,200
that I wasn't in a hospital, and then I was

2210
02:19:43,239 --> 02:19:47,639
out again. I dreamed of nothing at all. It was

2211
02:19:47,719 --> 02:19:57,440
pure bliss, And with that, I think I'm done talking

2212
02:19:57,440 --> 02:20:00,559
for it today. The story of what hap happens next

2213
02:20:00,559 --> 02:20:03,079
we'll have to wait for another time. All I can

2214
02:20:03,120 --> 02:20:05,520
tell you is that I have a purpose. Now. I

2215
02:20:05,520 --> 02:20:09,959
am at peace with who I am. My name is David,

2216
02:20:10,360 --> 02:20:13,639
and officially I don't exist. I have no driver's license,

2217
02:20:13,719 --> 02:20:17,079
no social security number, no credit score, no work history,

2218
02:20:17,079 --> 02:20:21,000
none of that. I am a small blip at the

2219
02:20:21,120 --> 02:20:24,159
edge of your reality. I have no ego to speak of,

2220
02:20:24,239 --> 02:20:27,840
and I don't require all the lavish comforts of a

2221
02:20:27,920 --> 02:20:30,559
material world. I could sleep in a tent and eat

2222
02:20:30,559 --> 02:20:33,959
from a dumpster for months at a time. I don't

2223
02:20:34,000 --> 02:20:37,520
need human contact. I actually prefer the company of the dead.

2224
02:20:38,239 --> 02:20:40,399
I have much more in common with the spirits than

2225
02:20:40,440 --> 02:20:44,000
I do with the living. I'm not a number anymore,

2226
02:20:44,399 --> 02:20:47,040
but I'm not a regular person either. I'm a shadow,

2227
02:20:47,639 --> 02:20:50,760
a rumor, and I hunt those who believe their status

2228
02:20:50,879 --> 02:20:55,879
was shield them from justice. My name is David, and

2229
02:20:55,959 --> 02:21:00,920
I'm nothing. I was asleep for many years, but the

2230
02:21:01,000 --> 02:21:06,280
dream is over. I'm wide awake now and I have

2231
02:21:06,360 --> 02:21:18,000
work to do. Hey, they're kids, it's me, mister Creeppasta,

2232
02:21:18,040 --> 02:21:20,159
And before we say goodnight, I just wanted to say

2233
02:21:20,159 --> 02:21:22,879
thank you so much for watching tonight's video or for

2234
02:21:23,120 --> 02:21:26,079
listening to tonight's episode or the podcast. As always, I

2235
02:21:26,079 --> 02:21:27,600
want to give a very big thank you to everybody

2236
02:21:27,639 --> 02:21:30,959
who supports me on Patreon, Patreon dot com, slash mister Creepasta.

2237
02:21:31,079 --> 02:21:33,920
That is the main place you guys are able to

2238
02:21:33,920 --> 02:21:35,600
support me. If you guys want to be able to

2239
02:21:35,600 --> 02:21:37,760
support me, which you absolutely don't have to do, but hey,

2240
02:21:38,200 --> 02:21:43,840
thank you for you know, doing that. If that's something

2241
02:21:43,879 --> 02:21:46,159
that you do, and if it's not something that you do,

2242
02:21:46,239 --> 02:21:51,639
hey please help me. In all seriousness, I really appreciate

2243
02:21:51,719 --> 02:21:53,319
it if you guys could be able to help me out,

2244
02:21:53,319 --> 02:21:55,040
if you guys are able to give anything even to

2245
02:21:55,040 --> 02:21:58,040
one dollar a month, and especially if you guys like

2246
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you can become one of the wonderful people whose names

2247
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I mispronounced, people such as Diana Kraus Asset System, Benjamin

2248
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two thousand and three, Blake Bratler, Bottal cooland Brandon Mendoza, Caltuna,

2249
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Cory x Kenchrim, The Code Best, Daniel Polson, John taking Kay,

2250
02:22:10,520 --> 02:22:12,680
Enchanted Buns, Eric Anthony Caruso s to be in fifteen

2251
02:22:12,680 --> 02:22:14,760
Squirrels on a Trench Coat, Galaxy Gremlin, his nephew, Himo,

2252
02:22:14,799 --> 02:22:17,639
Jerry Hour Minute, Second Time, Jay Kearns, Jed's Pet, lu Cipher,

2253
02:22:17,719 --> 02:22:19,959
Nick mc flant, piss Red Shadow Cat, Remember the Sun,

2254
02:22:20,000 --> 02:22:22,360
Salty Surprize, Sa Marilyn Scary Stories, Fuel Me thirty two

2255
02:22:22,399 --> 02:22:25,319
Seclude Simbers, Bloody Mojo, Sky, Harper Smiley, the Psychotic Sully Man,

2256
02:22:25,399 --> 02:22:27,360
Cally Sue, Tim Leo seventy six, The Chab His Brothers,

2257
02:22:27,399 --> 02:22:29,799
the Ginger Bros, Tommy Walters, Vice, Roy Scorn, William Wellington,

2258
02:22:29,879 --> 02:22:32,280
x Reepert sixty nine x X, Lucky Cat xx, Zibol,

2259
02:22:32,319 --> 02:22:35,120
Shadow Gardens and Peaceful Pudhah. All these really great guys,

2260
02:22:35,159 --> 02:22:36,879
as well as all the folks you see in the

2261
02:22:36,879 --> 02:22:39,520
description down below or everybody that you see scrolling across

2262
02:22:39,520 --> 02:22:41,280
the screen. Hey, I want to say thank you so

2263
02:22:41,360 --> 02:22:43,840
much for supporting me, Thank you all so much for

2264
02:22:43,879 --> 02:22:46,959
being here, and as always, sweet dreams.