Speaker 1: It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Another hour of the
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly Show on a Friday, and ask doctor Jesse Friday,
Speaker 1: we're gonna discuss this Russia, North Korea, America thing veterans
Speaker 1: cheating on disability payments. In fact, I'll probably open with that.
Speaker 1: Someone wants to talk about burger toppings, all that and
Speaker 1: so much more coming up on the world famous Jesse
Speaker 1: Kelly Show. All right, I'm gonna begin with this one here, Jesse,
Speaker 1: what do you think about VA disability payments? My youngest
Speaker 1: brother was a marine and living in Maryland. I know
Speaker 1: a lot of military people, many of whom receive disability
Speaker 1: payments despite working lucrative jobs and making well over six figures.
Speaker 1: They aren't missing limbs and eyes, et cetera. I know
Speaker 1: one man who's considered one hundred percent disabled and he
Speaker 1: receives a hefty check. Plus he doesn't pay property taxes
Speaker 1: because his hearing was affected. I'm all for paying disabled vets,
Speaker 1: but if you're in one piece and can make two
Speaker 1: hundred k at a civilian job, are you the person
Speaker 1: that needs that money or could it be better allocated
Speaker 1: to gold Star families? Okay, I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: her name. But let's just be honest about this. There
Speaker 1: are a lot of veterans, a lot of them who
Speaker 1: cheat on this disability stuff. They pretend to be disfigured
Speaker 1: and disabled to get free money from the government. And
Speaker 1: I personally know some guys I was in the Marines
Speaker 1: with when we were getting out. You know, when you
Speaker 1: get out, they work you over medically and they hand
Speaker 1: you your medical file and they teach you, hey, this
Speaker 1: apply for disability if you're injured or something like that.
Speaker 1: But people know how to game the system and work
Speaker 1: the system and lie about things. And friends of mine
Speaker 1: who were not disabled and were not disfigured, they worked
Speaker 1: this and worked that, and they would get disability and
Speaker 1: a nice check and they would come try to convince
Speaker 1: me to do it. Hey, Kelly, you got to do this.
Speaker 1: Hey it's easy. Hey it's free money. Hey you got
Speaker 1: to do this. And I don't steal. If I was
Speaker 1: disabled or disfigured in some way, yes, I would do it.
Speaker 1: And if you are a vet, that is that go
Speaker 1: get your money. You go get your money. You fought
Speaker 1: for your country, if you gave up pieces of yourself
Speaker 1: for your country, you go get paid. For that, and
Speaker 1: anyone else not saying I'm judging you because I'm not.
Speaker 1: I do not take what is not mine. I do
Speaker 1: not claim to be a moral person or a good person.
Speaker 1: I am immoral. I am not a good person at all.
Speaker 1: But I do not steal ever, and for me, that's thievery.
Speaker 1: And I could not bring myself to steal from my
Speaker 1: country because I had served my country. Could not do it.
Speaker 1: It's very very very very very calm. It's something people
Speaker 1: don't talk about a lot. And the reason people don't
Speaker 1: talk about it is Americans love their veterans. It's just
Speaker 1: we have a heart for veterans, and I'm glad we do.
Speaker 1: You should. It's really the mark of a good society
Speaker 1: that we love and appreciate our veterans. And people don't
Speaker 1: want to criticize them. They don't want to ever bring
Speaker 1: this up because it sounds like you're blasting away at veterans.
Speaker 1: But because I don't care about offending people, I'm more
Speaker 1: than happy to bring it up. It's wrong. I will
Speaker 1: not do it. I refuse to do it. And it's
Speaker 1: very very very common, very very common. Jesse. I'm wondering
Speaker 1: why Russia can use Iran or North Korea drones and
Speaker 1: rackets into Ukraine. But the Ukraine can't use US or
Speaker 1: other countries rackets. I think he means rockets. I think
Speaker 1: he said, oh, why can Russia. I don't even know
Speaker 1: what you're saying, buddy. That's not very good English. You
Speaker 1: need to spell check that. That was terrible.
Speaker 2: Hey, uncle Jesse, you ever think about adding some flair
Speaker 2: to your wardrobe. I'm talking white gloves like Michael Jackson
Speaker 2: to accentuate your enormous hands. Hey man, my real question
Speaker 2: is what's going on in Pennsylvania here about Casey hasn't
Speaker 2: yet completed. Is McCormick's Senate position in jeopardy. I hear
Speaker 2: they're counting the legal ballots or something like that. What's
Speaker 2: going on?
Speaker 1: Well, Casey conceded, Casey finally conceded, and we still have
Speaker 1: a very broken election system in this country in blue areas,
Speaker 1: and they broke it on purpose. To have votes still
Speaker 1: being counted a week, two weeks after an election is
Speaker 1: an international embarrassment. It's an embarrassment. Oh, I don't understand
Speaker 1: why this is. It's not complicated at all. Democrats want
Speaker 1: to cheat in elections because Democrats are communists who only
Speaker 1: care about power. There's no moral founding whatsoever. Therefore, they
Speaker 1: will put into place as many rules and laws and
Speaker 1: procedures as many as humanly possible and order to muddy
Speaker 1: the waters and ensure that they will at least be
Speaker 1: able to cheat. It is not an accident that every
Speaker 1: single location where it takes forever to count the votes
Speaker 1: is a location that is controlled by Democrats. It's not
Speaker 1: an accident. Democrats campaign nationally that you shouldn't even have
Speaker 1: to show ID to vote, since everyone can get an ID.
Speaker 1: There's only one reason you wouldn't want people to show ID.
Speaker 1: That's because you intend to cheat in elections. There's a
Speaker 1: reason they tried to pass HR one right after the
Speaker 1: election of Joe Biden. Hr one nationalized elections and it
Speaker 1: ensured all mail in ballots for everywhere for all time.
Speaker 1: Why would you do something insane, Well, because mail in
Speaker 1: ballots are where the most cheating happens. Now, just like
Speaker 1: I told you before the election, the most suicidal, insane,
Speaker 1: dumbest idea I've ever heard is this idea you get
Speaker 1: from people on the right when they say every election stolen.
Speaker 1: Remember how I used to yell at you about that
Speaker 1: every election stolen. It's stupid, it's insane, it's a lie,
Speaker 1: and we just proved it's not true at all. Every
Speaker 1: election isn't stolen. Stop with that idiocy. But some are stolen.
Speaker 1: Many are stolen. We are getting better, and credit to
Speaker 1: the RNC. I can't believe I'm saying that, but they
Speaker 1: really did a great job. We are getting better at
Speaker 1: sniffing it out, lawyering it up, luring up and stopping
Speaker 1: it before it starts. The RNC they stopped a lot
Speaker 1: of dirty stuff during that election. We still have a
Speaker 1: long way to go. It's just really dirty, man. These
Speaker 1: people were really dirty.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: Speaking of dirty, Sonny hosted on the View once again
Speaker 1: had to read a legal note because she keeps lying.
Speaker 1: The best thing the Right ever did was start suing
Speaker 1: these media organizations, suing the daylights off of them, because
Speaker 1: now they can't just tell whatever lie they want. They
Speaker 1: always have to add the legal notes to avoid getting
Speaker 1: set note.
Speaker 3: I have a legal note. Matt Gates has long denied
Speaker 3: all allegations and has not been charged with any crime.
Speaker 3: Gates previously dismissed allegations that he paid for sex, saying
Speaker 3: that quote someone is trying to recategorize my generosity to
Speaker 3: ex girlfriends by something more on Toward another legal note,
Speaker 3: Pete Hegseth's lawyer said he made the woman in twenty
Speaker 3: twenty three to head off the threat of a basis lawsuit.
Speaker 3: He has denied any wrongdoing. Just call the show legal
Speaker 3: note from now on.
Speaker 1: They're so angry. They get so angry they have to
Speaker 1: make these legal notes. Now why, Because communists lie at
Speaker 1: all times, you cannot possibly be honest about their demonic
Speaker 1: religion of destruction when you think about it. I was
Speaker 1: thinking about this last night. I had some peace and
Speaker 1: quiet because I've left the room. I was thinging about this.
Speaker 1: Out the presidential campaign, Kamala Harris just ran. It was
Speaker 1: all a brazen lie about every position she's ever taken.
Speaker 1: They were running ads talking about how strong they were
Speaker 1: on the border when they opened up the border on purpose.
Speaker 1: These people lie about the positions they take at all times.
Speaker 1: In fact, there was a poll. I should dig this up,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't matter. You could go look it up yourself.
Speaker 1: There was this crazy poll that came out where somebody
Speaker 1: was calling voters, not you, not the informed. They were
Speaker 1: calling normies and they were telling them Democrat positions, and
Speaker 1: the Normies said the polster was lying because no Democrat
Speaker 1: nobody would actually take those positions. And the positions were
Speaker 1: things like transing kids behind the back of parents. The
Speaker 1: actual Democrat position was so insane that Normies didn't believe
Speaker 1: that was an actual position they had. They just lie
Speaker 1: about everything. And again, I'll hand it to NPR, why
Speaker 1: do you do that?
Speaker 3: I think are reverence for the truth might become might
Speaker 3: have become a bit of a distraction that is preventing
Speaker 3: us from finding consensus and getting important things done.
Speaker 1: Well, gosh, this truth. We're trying to get things done.
Speaker 1: I don't have time to tell the truth. If I
Speaker 1: tell the truth, then our revolution is going to fail.
Speaker 1: Our revolution involves destroying everything, and so we have to
Speaker 1: lie otherwise people will catch on to that fact. They
Speaker 1: lie about everything at all times. Do you know do
Speaker 1: you know how many Democrats would be mortified if they
Speaker 1: knew what they actually believed, if they found out what
Speaker 1: Democrats actually did and believed. I can't tell you how
Speaker 1: many people email this show and they'll say something to
Speaker 1: the effect of Jesse, my dad is this lifelong Democrat,
Speaker 1: and I told him they opened up the border on
Speaker 1: purpose that he said. That's not true. It's obviously true.
Speaker 1: Like I said, they're bringing them in as fast as possible.
Speaker 1: But if you are a Democrat, it is a religion
Speaker 1: to you and always has been a religion to you.
Speaker 1: And if someone was to pull that thread enough, then
Speaker 1: it's not that your political party would crumble. Your entire
Speaker 1: worldview crumbles if you find out you've been lied to.
Speaker 1: So instead they just stay in the lies. And I'm
Speaker 1: just so loving these legal notes. It's hilarious to me.
Speaker 1: I also love chalk because it makes me full of energy.
Speaker 1: These vitality stacks they have male ones and female ones,
Speaker 1: not true herbal supplements. They're so good for your energy,
Speaker 1: and it's that it's not that caffeine energy where your
Speaker 1: hands are shaky and sweaty. It's nothing like that at all.
Speaker 1: You just feel great. I'll get home from work at night, right,
Speaker 1: I'll get home from work at night and sometimes I'll
Speaker 1: work out. That's how good I feel. I'm just full
Speaker 1: of pep and energy, and I have chalk to thank
Speaker 1: for that. Take advantage of the Black Friday Special and
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Speaker 1: com promo code Jesse. Burger toppings in Russia. Next, it
Speaker 1: is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Friday, reminding you
Speaker 1: you can email the show Jesse at jessekellyshow dot com.
Speaker 1: We are having a blast, as we always do on
Speaker 1: a Friday, Jesse. I need your thoughts on the proper
Speaker 1: burger setup, specifically add ons. My family and I went
Speaker 1: to our favorite burger place last week. My oldest and
Speaker 1: I tried something new by adding a layer of cream
Speaker 1: cheese to our standard double with American cheese. We were
Speaker 1: not even We were not overwhelmed, not even whelmed. Do
Speaker 1: do you the burgermeister have a topping limit? I'm starting
Speaker 1: to think condiments should be the only thing you put
Speaker 1: on cheeseburgers other than maybe pickles. At some point, toppings
Speaker 1: take away from the burger. What say you? All right,
Speaker 1: so we're obviously not talking about my world famous Jesse
Speaker 1: Kelly burgers because they don't need any toppings at all,
Speaker 1: no condiments. Don't you dare put veggies on it. We're
Speaker 1: not gonna talk about me and the fact that I
Speaker 1: already came up with the perfect recipe. Let's talk about
Speaker 1: you and your inferior burgers whatever, whether you're making them
Speaker 1: or purchasing them somewhere. Yes, there have to be top limits,
Speaker 1: you know, you want to keep. Back when I was
Speaker 1: running for Congress in Arizona, there was a guy, a congressman,
Speaker 1: Pete Sessions. He's still around. I don't know what he's
Speaker 1: doing now, but Pete's Sessions was a congressman back then.
Speaker 1: He was a big shot and he came out to
Speaker 1: raise money. He helped me raise money. You try to
Speaker 1: run for congress, and Pete Sessions loved everywhere I went
Speaker 1: with him. He gave the same speech to people, and
Speaker 1: he would talk about keeping the big deal, the big deal,
Speaker 1: meaning talk about big issues on the election. Don't find
Speaker 1: yourself wading through the minutia. Take the big things people
Speaker 1: care about. Keep it a big deal. Like you saw
Speaker 1: the campaign Trump just ran. He did very well. What
Speaker 1: did he talk about the entire time? Inflation? Immigration, inflation, immigration, inflation, immigration,
Speaker 1: very few side roads from inflation, immigration. He kept the
Speaker 1: big deal, the big deal. It's what people cared about.
Speaker 1: It's what he talked about. This all comes back to
Speaker 1: your cheeseburger. A cheeseburger, it's designed to put delicious meat
Speaker 1: with melty cheese on it. It's designed to deliver those
Speaker 1: two things into your mouth. Those are the stars of
Speaker 1: the show. When you start throwing all this other crap
Speaker 1: on your berry. You haven't had my peanut butter and
Speaker 1: jelly bacon burger. You're right, I haven't because my cheeseburger
Speaker 1: doesn't need peanut butter and jelly. Acceptable additions to a
Speaker 1: burger are, by the way, not pickles either. You pickle
Speaker 1: people are crazy. Now hold on, Corey, let me explain.
Speaker 1: Let me explain. I'm not anti pickle. Okay, I like
Speaker 1: pickles as much as the next man. I wish I
Speaker 1: could take that back, but you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I'll eat a pickle. I'm fine if the wife has
Speaker 1: some deal pickles at home. Sometimes you get some from
Speaker 1: the store. All comala down a deal pickle, I'm fine
Speaker 1: with it. When you put a pickle on a burger,
Speaker 1: it takes away from the big deal, the meat, the
Speaker 1: cheese that the pickle like grabs you. It's all you
Speaker 1: can taste is the pickle. The only acceptable additions to
Speaker 1: a burger are things that in a way compliment, compliment
Speaker 1: the meat and the cheese. Ketchup is okay. I personally
Speaker 1: don't eat ketchup on a burger much, but I'll get them.
Speaker 1: You know, McDonald's puts ketchup on a burger. I'll grab
Speaker 1: a micdeesburger. I don't take it off. Ketchup's fine, Mustard's fine,
Speaker 1: Mayo's fine adds a little tang on there. Stop it, Chris,
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that. Mayo's fine. Onions can be
Speaker 1: fine on a burger. Fried jalapinos if you find a
Speaker 1: place that has fried alipinos or jalapino strips. I was
Speaker 1: talking to Chris yesterday. Dairy Queen used to do that.
Speaker 1: They might still do that, but we used to get
Speaker 1: a dairy queen for burgers, and they'll they'll do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Chris and egg. You know what. You know why a
Speaker 1: fried egg works on a burger because it doesn't come
Speaker 1: in and try to take over. It knows it's not
Speaker 1: the star of the show. It's a bit player. Want
Speaker 1: you need bit players? It's a role player. If you're
Speaker 1: in the NBA, you need a guy who's gonna be
Speaker 1: able to play defense and rebound. Not everyone gets to
Speaker 1: score thirty points a game. That's what the Frida egg is.
Speaker 1: It knows its role. Its job is to be there,
Speaker 1: add some yolk, compliment the meat in the cheese flavors.
Speaker 1: This is the role of the egg. Where people go
Speaker 1: nuts is they start picking every little thing I need.
Speaker 1: Let us honey, tomatoes, We need extra pickles on this?
Speaker 1: Should I get eight thousand onions? Then we need ketchup
Speaker 1: mustard and mao, and then let's add some hot sauce
Speaker 1: to it. It didn't need any of that. You know what
Speaker 1: Lima beans needs that. The wife was trying to get
Speaker 1: us all to eat broccoli a couple of days ago,
Speaker 1: because she's always trying to be healthy and things like that.
Speaker 1: She's trying to get us all to get to eat broccoli.
Speaker 1: So she did what many people do and made this
Speaker 1: big broccoli cast role, and she threw so much crep
Speaker 1: in there. It was just cheese and crumbs and whatever.
Speaker 1: You don't want. Brocoli castrole is everyone's seen broccoli casse role.
Speaker 1: And yeah it was still gross, but that wasn't her fault.
Speaker 1: She knew broccoli is disgusting, it's foul, it's barely even edible,
Speaker 1: And so I have to throw a bunch of great
Speaker 1: things in there because broccoli needs help. Broccoli is special needs.
Speaker 1: The cheeseburger is a genius. The broccoli needs an extra
Speaker 1: tutor a helping hand because it's disgusting. A cheeseburger doesn't
Speaker 1: need any of those things. Think about broccoli as if
Speaker 1: it's Chris.
Speaker 4: Me.
Speaker 1: I'm the cheeseburger. Chris doesn't mean he's look, doesn't mean
Speaker 1: he's bad person, just needs a lot of help.
Speaker 4: Me.
Speaker 1: I can basically do it all on my own. Does
Speaker 1: that explain it? I hope that explained it perfectly, at
Speaker 1: least in a way I understood it. Chris doesn't seem
Speaker 1: to see it my way. But that's beside the point.
Speaker 1: You need to give to Tunnel to Towers. It's Christmas
Speaker 1: season and Tunnel to Towers they're special all twelve months
Speaker 1: of the year, but in Christmas season it's really really
Speaker 1: extra special. These families who have lost the father, a mother,
Speaker 1: fallen first responder families, gold Star families, they get presented
Speaker 1: with homes. This season. They're building smart homes for catastrophically
Speaker 1: injured veterans. I lost my leg. I can't do this,
Speaker 1: I'm missing my arms. Tunneled to Towers is the organization
Speaker 1: that's helping, and unlike a lot of quote veterans organizations,
Speaker 1: they do more than just talk about it. They have
Speaker 1: more than just a fancy label. More than ninety five
Speaker 1: cents of every dollar goes directly to its programs in
Speaker 1: the nonprofit world. That's unheard of. Eleven bucks a month
Speaker 1: is all they asked for. Sign up to give it automatically.
Speaker 1: You'll never know it's gone. T the number two T
Speaker 1: dot org T twot dot org. All right, Ukraine and
Speaker 1: Russia and Joe Biden. We will talk about that next.
Speaker 1: Is it possible to bribe me? Of course it is.
Speaker 1: We'll discuss that and more. Hang on, what it is
Speaker 1: the Jesse Kelli show on a Friday and asked doctor
Speaker 1: Jesse Friday, Oh no, my hat. I love it. I
Speaker 1: forgot my hat. There it is. I'm learning this sweet
Speaker 1: hat today. It's kind of like one of these floppy
Speaker 1: old school hats. I don't know what they're called. Jewish
Speaker 1: producer Chris has not been very nice about it. Corey
Speaker 1: was a lot more supportive, and I appreciate that. It's
Speaker 1: obviously jealousy. We all know what that is. El hefe
Speaker 1: of the Little Hans. Why on earth is a man
Speaker 1: known to be mentally impaired being allowed to give Ukraine
Speaker 1: permission to escalate their attacks into Russia. His name is Kevin.
Speaker 1: Why is this guy calling the tw twenty twenty four
Speaker 1: NBA Champions of Balls. You're sureley right, Well, let's just
Speaker 1: be honest about this. Obviously, Joe Biden isn't making this call.
Speaker 1: Joe Biden hasn't made any calls for four years. The
Speaker 1: swamp is making all the calls for him, all the
Speaker 1: little Obama communists he put around him, like Susan Rice
Speaker 1: and Victoria Nunez and Lilisa Monico's and these people. These
Speaker 1: are the ones who are just setting policy for the
Speaker 1: United States. Of America. They're the ones deciding the who's
Speaker 1: who and the what's what. But all that aside, why
Speaker 1: is this allowed? Why is this allowed? Elections have consequences.
Speaker 1: I honestly, I know, we just want a big election
Speaker 1: and so everyone just kind of wants to move on
Speaker 1: and forget about that. But we just had four years
Speaker 1: of Joe Biden and cheating aside from twenty twenty, which
Speaker 1: they very obviously did, but cheating aside, Roughly half the
Speaker 1: country went out and voted for a cadaver, and he
Speaker 1: was obviously a cadaver. Was obvious. It was obvious to
Speaker 1: anyone who cared enough about their country to pay attention
Speaker 1: that he was not a functional adult. And now this
Speaker 1: country has had to endure four years of this child
Speaker 1: sitting in the White House drooling on himself. And it
Speaker 1: is not outside of the realm of possibility that that
Speaker 1: decision to put him in the White House will cause
Speaker 1: World War III. And that's what happens when you elect Democrats.
Speaker 1: And there are so many people who are so mind
Speaker 1: warped in this country they can't help but vote for
Speaker 1: these people over and over and over again. Elections have consequences.
Speaker 1: You heard me, ranting about Michigan. They're going through this too.
Speaker 1: Michigan was a red state in twenty sixteen, and then
Speaker 1: they had this witch governor, Gretchen Whitmer, locked them down.
Speaker 1: Michigan was locked down like New York was locked down.
Speaker 1: Michigan was locked down like California was locked down. They
Speaker 1: didn't let people buy gardening seeds in the grocery store.
Speaker 1: And after years of that, the people of Michigan, because
Speaker 1: Roe versus Wade had been overturned, they went to the
Speaker 1: voting booth and they didn't vote to throw out the
Speaker 1: tyrant who locked down their gardening seeds. They voted because
Speaker 1: they loved abortion so much. And now businesses are closing,
Speaker 1: minimum waves through the roof, restaurants going downhill. Quality of
Speaker 1: life in Michigan is plummeting. And I'm sorry, I don't
Speaker 1: have sympathy none. I sympathize with the people who voted
Speaker 1: the right way, But Michigan as a whole wanted this.
Speaker 1: You loved abortion. I need to murder my baby, it's
Speaker 1: all that matters. Hey, wait a minute, why' is my
Speaker 1: restaurant closing because you're a moron who votes on abortion. Congratulations,
Speaker 1: you got what you get. And the United States of
Speaker 1: America wide open border flooding the country with the illegos
Speaker 1: for four years, internationally embarrassed several times over more than
Speaker 1: just Afghanistan. But we'll talk about that. Our strategic oil
Speaker 1: reserve wiped out. They drained it to help their election
Speaker 1: chances in the mid terms. A complete communist takeover of
Speaker 1: the Department of Justice and FBI where they've thrown their
Speaker 1: political opponents in prison for four years. And if you
Speaker 1: voted for Joe Biden back in twenty twenty, you did this.
Speaker 1: We have got to stop excusing the voter. Look. I
Speaker 1: addressed the question a little bit ago about how do
Speaker 1: these people just ignore laws? How is it possible these
Speaker 1: politicians can just ignore laws. The American people are not
Speaker 1: interested and engaged enough in politics to hold our politicians accountable.
Speaker 1: And an uninterested, uninformed public is the greatest benefit in
Speaker 1: the world to an evil tyrant. And that's why we
Speaker 1: have evil tyrants who run the country because the public
Speaker 1: doesn't care. They got their Netflix, they got their air conditioning.
Speaker 1: Life is comfortable, the air conditioning's working. They don't look,
Speaker 1: you know what, that's a very good point, Chris, Chris said,
Speaker 1: the normies didn't know about the training stuff. You remember
Speaker 1: that ad that Trump ran. We've played the audio for you,
Speaker 1: the ad Trump ran about Kamala Harris and her support
Speaker 1: for training inmates at taxpayer's expense. You know what was
Speaker 1: the wildest thing to me about that ad? How obvious
Speaker 1: that was. I knew that you knew that. When I
Speaker 1: saw the ad, I actually said to myself, well, yeah, everyone,
Speaker 1: everyone knows that's their position. But that ad was so
Speaker 1: impactful because for millions of Americans that was the first
Speaker 1: time they heard about it. What these guys, These guys
Speaker 1: are into the training stuff. I had no idea. Anyway,
Speaker 1: the game's on if we don't step up as a
Speaker 1: population and get more involved than interested in politics. This
Speaker 1: is how it's gonna go. Jesse, big hands, Kelly. If
Speaker 1: the system contacted you and offered a ten million dollar
Speaker 1: check to write the commie manifesto promoting communism, would you
Speaker 1: take it? Absolutely? I'm kidding, I would not. I Like
Speaker 1: I've said before, I'm not a good person. I've never
Speaker 1: told you that. I don't pretend to be. I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm one big flaw right, one big fail. But I
Speaker 1: am not see that I wanted to lead with that
Speaker 1: because what I'm about to say is gonna sound like
Speaker 1: I'm tooting my own corn. And you know, the Oracle
Speaker 1: would never do something like that. But I'm just not
Speaker 1: a big money guy. And it's not that I dislike money.
Speaker 1: I like money just fine. I like a delicious steak dinner,
Speaker 1: just fine. I like flying first class. I like comfortable shoes,
Speaker 1: you know that. I like a car that doesn't break down.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not acting like I'm some sort of Buddhist
Speaker 1: monk who's above money. I'm not saying that. But money
Speaker 1: has never driven me. Back when I didn't have any
Speaker 1: of it, it didn't drive me. Obviously, I needed money
Speaker 1: to pay the bills. And like I said, I'm not
Speaker 1: acting like a monk here. Money's fine, but presenting me
Speaker 1: with a ten million dollar check to violate what I
Speaker 1: believe would not even be tempting to me at all,
Speaker 1: would not even be tempting to me. No, I am
Speaker 1: not for sale, Jesse. You just called Lindsey Graham flimsy.
Speaker 1: Why don't you call him flimsy Graham for a knucklehead
Speaker 1: like you, I'm sure you would have to come up
Speaker 1: with that on I'm sure you would have come up
Speaker 1: with that on your own. His name is Pat. I
Speaker 1: just had a great idea from now on on this show.
Speaker 1: I just thought of this. Instead of calling him Lindsey Graham,
Speaker 1: We're gonna call him Flimsy Graham. Just popped into my
Speaker 1: head and now we're running with it. Chris, this is
Speaker 1: what happens when you have a mind that works so well,
Speaker 1: it works so fast. My mind. I want you to
Speaker 1: think about Chris's mind like a Have you ever seen
Speaker 1: a slug on the sidewalk. It lost its shell and
Speaker 1: it's slowly dying as it's barely making its way over
Speaker 1: to the grass. That's how I want you to think
Speaker 1: about Chris's mind, my mind. Have you ever seen an
Speaker 1: indie car race with those cars they make those sounds
Speaker 1: and they go super super fast. Chris's mind is the slug.
Speaker 1: Mine is one of those indie cars. Flimsy Graham. I
Speaker 1: can't believe I came up with that.
Speaker 4: Hey, Jesse, I'm Michael. Quick question for you. If anything
Speaker 4: were to happen to where you know, let's say President
Speaker 4: Biden gets sick, are incapacitated, and Kamala becomes president for
Speaker 4: the remainder of the term through the twenty fifth Amendment,
Speaker 4: et cetera. And a vice president is now approved by
Speaker 4: the House and Senate the nominee for vice president, and
Speaker 4: there's a vacancy in the vice president's spot. Who would
Speaker 4: certify the election on January sixth if there was no
Speaker 4: vice president? Is there a constitutional contingency for that?
Speaker 1: The Pope Statue of liberty admirer. If you had to
Speaker 1: fire Chris and the new guy his name is Corey,
Speaker 1: I don't care either. And if you had to fire
Speaker 1: Chris and the new guy and replace them with two
Speaker 1: current elected officials, who would you hire? Nerds like Mike
Speaker 1: Johnson and Pete Ricketts could probably do it, since you
Speaker 1: do all the work anyway, good point. Would you go
Speaker 1: with entertainment? Someone like Grandma Vodka and John Fetterman? Well,
Speaker 1: we couldn't have Nancy Pelosi in here. We've had one
Speaker 1: of those big half gallon handles of vodka in this
Speaker 1: studio ever since we moved in, and I don't think
Speaker 1: anyone's ever opened the thing? Did you open it?
Speaker 4: Chris?
Speaker 1: Are you drunk right now? Now? Chris? See, nobody here
Speaker 1: is a heavy drinker or anything like that. But Nancy Pelosi,
Speaker 1: she would break the office. Chris would lose his mind
Speaker 1: with the liquor bills. We wouldn't do that. No, if
Speaker 1: you had, If we had to hire a couple elected
Speaker 1: officials to work in here, it would probably be Lauren
Speaker 1: Bobert and Anna Pauline a Luna. It is the Jesse
Speaker 1: Kelly Show on a Friday. If you don't like that song,
Speaker 1: you don't like America. That's what I'm talking about. And
Speaker 1: it is, of course an ass doctor Jesse Friday. We're
Speaker 1: gonna keep our focus there because if I focus on
Speaker 1: this speech by Christopher Ray, my head's gonna pop off.
Speaker 5: Thing that is most inspiring to me about the FBI
Speaker 5: when I reflect on all that I've seen and experience
Speaker 5: over the past seven and a half years, is the
Speaker 5: heart of the FBI America. The world really knows the
Speaker 5: FBI for our fidelity, bravery, and integrity.
Speaker 1: And they should. That's great, they should.
Speaker 5: But I wish they also knew how fiercely our folks
Speaker 5: care for each other and how much of our heart
Speaker 5: we put into our FBI family.
Speaker 1: Remember when Remember when we had that leaked memo from
Speaker 1: the Richmond Field office and we found out the FBI
Speaker 1: was in filt trading churches. Remember that It's interesting.
Speaker 5: What I see and what I hear wherever I am,
Speaker 5: is that the work we're doing every day, the investigations
Speaker 5: were conducting, the partnerships were building.
Speaker 1: The Remember when they sent a swat team. They sent
Speaker 1: a swat team to the home of a pastor and
Speaker 1: they pointed guns at his wife and his children. And
Speaker 1: his crime was well nothing because the local DA had
Speaker 1: already declined to charge him with anything, and they tried
Speaker 1: to charge him and he ended up getting off scott free.
Speaker 1: But they pointed guns at his wife and his kids.
Speaker 1: An evil, evil, secret police agency, truly truly evil. But
Speaker 1: this is how these people see themselves. They see themselves
Speaker 1: as the guard of the system, right. That's why they're
Speaker 1: always talking about how great they are.
Speaker 5: Thing that is most inspiring to me about the FBI,
Speaker 5: when I reflect on all that I've seen and experience.
Speaker 1: I can't do it anymore. Jesse Jesse leathers. He says,
Speaker 1: what was the one thing when you were in Iraq
Speaker 1: that just made you laugh? I mean laugh so hard
Speaker 1: you had tears. When you think of it today, you smirk.
Speaker 1: Your story of the Mrs Constipation and splash down cracked
Speaker 1: me up good. It sounds like you could use a
Speaker 1: good laugh. I don't know about laughter. I'll think about that,
Speaker 1: but I will tell you there was there was a great,
Speaker 1: great moment. I remember we were, you know, we were
Speaker 1: in Kuwait and then George Bush declared war, and then
Speaker 1: we went into Iraq and we did the whole tour
Speaker 1: right cleared up the bag Dad and you know, securing
Speaker 1: bag Dad and all the other crap that comes with that.
Speaker 1: And from there, once Baghdad was fairly secure, they moved
Speaker 1: us down to a place called Najaf Najoff. I always
Speaker 1: thought it was elling n Joff, But again, you don't
Speaker 1: know what's going on most of the time, and you're
Speaker 1: in the people back home watching on the news knew
Speaker 1: more about that stuff than we actually did. But we
Speaker 1: go back to Najaf, and in Najaff, we have to
Speaker 1: secure this kind of outdoor farmers market area. Because it
Speaker 1: had walls around it, we knew we could build it
Speaker 1: up into a fairly secure perimeter. And then we would
Speaker 1: go out on patrols doing various things, guarding AMMO, dumbs,
Speaker 1: hunting down people, just things you have to do right,
Speaker 1: breaking people's jaws, little things like that. And at one
Speaker 1: point in time we had to go because the mayor
Speaker 1: of Najaff his life was in imminent danger because everyone's
Speaker 1: so freaking violent in that place, and we had to
Speaker 1: go do shifts guarding the mayor's residence. So we go
Speaker 1: over there. Now, I know you're gonna mock me, but
Speaker 1: food is a really big deal to me, as you
Speaker 1: well know. And by this point in time, we had
Speaker 1: had nothing but MRIs. It was just nothing but crap
Speaker 1: food that you got to get to get by, you know,
Speaker 1: that's what they can do. They can't serve you a
Speaker 1: gourmet mail. No waffle house isn't coming out, So you
Speaker 1: got what you got. And one day, close to one
Speaker 1: of the gates, there was and I forget the circumstances
Speaker 1: around it, but there was kind of this shell of
Speaker 1: a building and it was multiple floors, there's three or
Speaker 1: four stories at least, but there were no walls, there
Speaker 1: was no ceiling on it, but it was all just
Speaker 1: concrete cinder blocks, like the shell, like someone framed one
Speaker 1: out and then left it. And close to this building
Speaker 1: was one of the gates where we had to guard
Speaker 1: the Mayor's mansion and this guy, I think it was
Speaker 1: a dude. Maybe it was a lady. I'm trying to remember.
Speaker 1: You forget some things, right. I think it was a dude, though.
Speaker 1: This guy comes up and he's selling these They're not
Speaker 1: breakfast tacos. They were breakfast pitas. And it was this
Speaker 1: freshly made peita, you know what a pita is. And
Speaker 1: he opened up the pita so it's a pocket and
Speaker 1: he must have used about twenty sticks of butter with
Speaker 1: these scrambled eggs and chopped up onions, so there was
Speaker 1: no cheese or anything like that. I mean, it's Iraq,
Speaker 1: but it was a pita with buttery, scrambled eggs and
Speaker 1: onions in it, and he was selling them to us.
Speaker 1: I still remember this for a dollar apiece. And I
Speaker 1: had two dollars on me, and I pay him two bucks.
Speaker 1: I take these things. Remember this is me. I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: with food anyway, and I take these things. I'ven't had
Speaker 1: anything good to eat. And I go up to the
Speaker 1: top floor of that shelled out building, the shell of
Speaker 1: a building, and I'm by myself. I just want to
Speaker 1: be by myself. And I sat there and I wolfed
Speaker 1: those things down, and I had buttering grease coming down
Speaker 1: my face, and I was audibly eating. It was embarrassing.
Speaker 1: If I wish I could have a recording of it.
Speaker 1: It was. Oh, it was all Chris. It was bad.
Speaker 1: It was in any way you can embarrass yourself, I
Speaker 1: practically did. And I sat up there in the piece
Speaker 1: and quiet, nothing exploding, nobody's shooting, nobody dying, nobody's screaming,
Speaker 1: nobody nothing. And I sat up there by myself and
Speaker 1: I ate those two things. And yeah, you probably wouldn't
Speaker 1: even look at them twice today, But at the moment,
Speaker 1: that was the greatest thing I had ever eaten in
Speaker 1: my life. And that was one of the greatest experiences
Speaker 1: of my life. Sit down and eat a couple of
Speaker 1: breakfast petas.