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Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell. I'm Chris and I died recently

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and this is Hell's number one podcast where we interview

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people who have died throughout history and other people who

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live in Hell with my co host Clayton.

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Speaker 2: Eybuddy, what's up?

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Speaker 1: Not much? I guess we're doing the podcast in my hut.

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Speaker 2: And it's correct. I was in the neighborhood. I decided

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to swing by.

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Speaker 3: I had a couple of things to do before I

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had an event to go to tonight. I thought i'd

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come by, killed two darodactyls with one stone and make

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a podcast with you.

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Speaker 2: But yep, you look really disappointed. What's wrong?

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Speaker 1: Nothing? I was just enjoying time to myself. Oh oh,

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I don't get a lot of time to myself because

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my roommate's always here and in the torture and the torture.

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Hang out with your best bud and hang out. Yeah yep, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, hey, you know what, you look like. You're a

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little glum.

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Speaker 3: So I'm here to cheer you up, have a good

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day with you. I have to say, Chris, I like

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what you did with the place.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, thank you. I didn't really have a lot

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of say in the decorations. That's kind of you need

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my roommate Stalin. Yeah, Joe, Yeah, yeah, yeah, he kind

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of like dictates a lot of that. I mean he's

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I mean, he is a dictator. So yeah, sorry, cuts

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your eye, your joke off with the knees there. Yeah,

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sky Star coming a mile away? All right? Well uh yeah,

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so yeah, this is my place. There's my bed of spikes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what is this?

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Speaker 4: What is this?

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Speaker 2: There's a box in your bed? WHOA? I found your

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personal possessions, Chris.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to, I know, but you don't have

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There's not personal possessions so much as things underneath my bed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah no, no, no, no, we're gonna we're gonna look through this.

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I want to see what you got going on here.

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Uh huh holy oh my god. There's so many funko

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pop toys in here.

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Speaker 2: Is that where they're all going?

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Speaker 4: That's the only thing there is to collect in hell?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's like, what do they do? Nothing?

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Speaker 3: You put them on your shelf and they stare at

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you with creepy, beady eyes. I can see why that

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appeals to you, Chris. You have the same beady eyes

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as they do. What else you got in here? What

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else you got in here?

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Speaker 2: Oh? A book?

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Speaker 4: Smart?

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Speaker 1: Can put that down?

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Speaker 2: Chris?

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Speaker 3: What the autobiography of Helen Keller? How did she even

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write this?

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Speaker 1: She's really smart. She's a really smart woman, Like she

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accomplished a lot.

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Speaker 3: You gotta relax with Helen. Come on, man, it's getting creepy.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing? I was just reading?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, based on the stickiness of the pages, that

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wasn't the only thing you were doing.

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Speaker 1: Look, that's not that's not stickiness. That was that was

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from the sludge. Yeah, the sludge quote from it was

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from the swamp of sorrow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well I thought that's what they called your bed

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as a swamp of starrow.

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Speaker 2: Like, let's see what else you got in here? What

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is this?

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Speaker 1: Nothing?

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Speaker 2: Nothing, Chris, Chris, what is this?

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Speaker 1: It's my pet pet?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, audio only podcast. Chris explained it to the listeners.

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What am I looking at here?

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Speaker 1: It's a dinosaur?

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Speaker 2: Who gave you this?

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Speaker 1: It's I found it. It was roaming around it got

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stuck in a little a little uh clamp trap that

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was in the grass.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what they're there for, Chris.

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Speaker 1: I know, and I wanted to save It's a little Paul. Okay,

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well now I have to kill it.

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no no no no no no no no

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no no no. It was good.

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Speaker 4: That was good.

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Speaker 2: I needed that. That's quite hungry. All right. Well, we're

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gonna put away your stuff and it's gone. There goes

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out the window, never to be seen again. Sorry, Chris,

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say goodbye to your funko Pops.

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Speaker 1: That's all right.

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Speaker 2: Oh you're so sad you had that limited edition Walking

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Dead Funko.

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Speaker 1: It was really more cookie than Dinosaur.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not miss well and you'll you'll see her

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in a few hours once she digests, and i'll show her.

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You'll still have a pet if you want. She's not

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gonna be as lively as it was once.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, what did I come in on? You doing

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here too? You look like you're not doing much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I was just you know, I had some torture

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scheduled for later today, so I was just gonna, you know,

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try and get that out of the way early.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, juice of Marin's. Yeah, get your skin sliced off.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, uh, once we're done, we're wrapped up here.

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Speaker 3: I don't really have anybody scheduled but I got a

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bunch of boxes out in the automobile. What the automobile?

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It's it's an automobile, but it's in Hell a hotomobile.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. Anyways, what about hot wheels?

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Speaker 1: Couldn't you call it a hot wheel?

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Speaker 2: Chris? Have you learned nothing about the legality of using

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other copyrighted materials? You're gonna get a sued.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be your fault, all right, all right, So

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you know those lawyers man, we're scared of them, even us,

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and we them.

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Speaker 1: Brought on the Beatles. I'll say that.

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Speaker 3: Oh well, I don't think you'll go on. It was

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gonna be chasing us anytime soon.

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Speaker 1: So you have boxes in the hotobile?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the hotomobile?

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Speaker 1: Yes, what for?

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Speaker 2: No, it's not.

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Speaker 3: It's just I'm just making a delivery of some alcohol

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and some red so lookups and some chips and dip

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and don't worry.

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Speaker 1: But it sounds like a party.

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Speaker 3: Well, no, I know, it's a it's a funeral. Yeah,

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it's funeral. Okay, Yeah, very sad. We lost a dear friend.

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Speaker 1: Nobody dies in Hell except for Captain Doug ug Oh

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rest his soul.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, ya, don't don't worry about Chris.

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Speaker 3: It's it's it's okay, don't don't concern your little worried

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ahead about it.

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Speaker 1: So have you been seeing anyone recently?

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Speaker 2: M so miss Cleo and I called it off.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, miss Cleo, the the psychic, that is correct?

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Speaker 2: Okay? Yeah, No, I actually uh hoping to.

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Speaker 3: Meet a a young lady, well not really young, but

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at the event I'm going to tonight.

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Speaker 1: Huh yeah, I named Susan, So we'll see where you go.

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Susan what Oh Susan B. Susan B Anthony? No, no, no, no,

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Susan Boyle Oh is she and hell?

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Speaker 2: Uh not yet.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but uh fingers crossed. Yeah, yeah, we'll see where

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it goes. That voice voice of an angel?

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Speaker 1: Voice of an angel? Is that something you want? In hell?

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Speaker 3: I mean better than voice of a demon, because like

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you think I sound bad?

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Speaker 2: The women demon down here they all sound.

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Speaker 1: Just like me. Yeah, yeah, I've noticed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they all sound like Batman, but not very scary.

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Speaker 1: Just just like Batman. Yeah, just like Batman. So, hello, Joe,

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just what's going on in here? Nothing? Nothing, I'm just working,

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just you working.

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Speaker 4: That is that does not sound like you at all?

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Speaker 1: No, I know, just leave us alone. It's on.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, Joseph, Joseph, we got an extra microphone.

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Come on, get sit down with us.

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Speaker 4: Okay, no, absolutely, what what is what is this you're doing?

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Speaker 3: This is the podcast? The podcast, you know, the Good

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Morning from Hell. I told you about it at the meeting.

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Speaker 4: That's right, Good Morning from Hell. Yeah, it's good to

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see you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, hear the dog. I see look at you are

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starting at it. I'm I'm startly go late. Stop there

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my life.

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Speaker 1: Classically the sun is not set. So yeah, yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 4: I've been drinking for nine hundred days.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Wow, you're you're really cleaning up. Man. I'm proud

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of you. Good for you.

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Speaker 1: You really don't have to sit here. You can just

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keep going about your Shut the fuck up, Chris.

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Speaker 4: I'm thank you, Clayton. It's nice to be welcomed into

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my own home.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what the hell, Chris, you're not the man of

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the house. He's wearing the pants. Literally, you don't have

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pants on.

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Speaker 1: I know, because I don't have legs or a dick.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's right.

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Speaker 5: It's just this featureless like beige area down there.

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Speaker 4: Don't lots of pubes. No, dick.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, oh god, it looks like you're just crouching on

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the floor of a barber shop.

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Speaker 4: It's disgusting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's the lot I've been given.

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Speaker 2: Joseph. How are you doing, dude?

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Speaker 3: It's so the Joseph Stalin. Why haven't we had you

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on this podcast sooner?

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Speaker 4: Well, I've been very, very very busy, as you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, of course. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: For those of us you're listening at home, Joseph and

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I we go, we go way back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Joseph. For people who don't know who you are,

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people are history illiterate. What did you do on Earth?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 5: I was very popular in Russia and Europe, did very,

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very many good things.

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Speaker 4: I think many people will agree that I was a

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very great guy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: No one took exception to my political power. Yeah no, no,

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it was much celebrated.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how do I hear? He was like he was

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a king out there, you know, got amongst men.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess. How do y'all know each other?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Well, we actually work on the Social crew down here

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in Hell.

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Speaker 2: That's how we met. We met at a meeting a

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while ago. He's our party planner, that's right.

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Speaker 3: You know, we thought hey, head of the Communist party,

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head of Hell's party team.

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Speaker 2: You know, just made sense.

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Speaker 1: Head of the party party.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, that's correct, the party party.

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Speaker 2: And he is the life of the party.

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Speaker 4: That's right. But I scept down here, I'm getting sickled

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and hammered. See that's my Yeah, I was so good.

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That's my motto. Down here. It's just drink, we have party,

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we have good time. It would be great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So you know I've heard, I've heard mister you

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know swamp Butt's perspective over here.

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Speaker 2: What are you thinking of roomin with Chris selling?

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Speaker 4: You know, this is my this. I like to party,

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have a good time. And Chris is sticking mud. He's

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party pooper. No, no, what I'm saying like, he's not

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he's no fun.

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Speaker 2: He certainly smells like one.

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Speaker 1: No, it's not that I don't want to have fun.

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I'm just not allowed to drink alcohol or do any

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of the fun thing or anything like eat or drink

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or do anything pleasant.

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, you know, Joseph was eligible for certain exemptions,

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you know when he came down to Hell, because he

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did a lot of good work for us up.

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Speaker 2: There on Earth.

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Speaker 1: So but he was really so he was the worse

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you were on earth, the better you have it in hell.

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So it's not like punishment, I mean kind of.

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Speaker 3: I mean, if you think about it, he was responsible

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for a lot of dudes coming down here.

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Speaker 4: That's why it's like a refer to friend at the bank,

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or like in.

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Speaker 5: A part ofment, you know, if you like, we referred

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a lot of people down here.

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Speaker 4: They give me like free hat.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but instead of a free hat, we gave him

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the ability to eat, drink, party all the time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great. I love it.

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Speaker 5: It's been a lot of fun and it's great being

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a party planner down here. I've done so much to

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make the parties down here as awful as you could

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possibly imagine, the awful awful parties.

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Speaker 2: Give it, give us a taste, like, oh it was

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the last party through.

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Speaker 5: Well, I had everyone out to the lake of fire

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and then I just I slowly dipped everyone's toes into

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the flames, and then I picked off the little burnt toes.

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I put those in balls and gave them to the

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other guests some real popcorn tos.

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Speaker 4: It was delicious. I take a cheese grater to everyone's nipples.

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Slow at first, yeah, so it's.

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Speaker 5: Kind of arousing, but then really fast and it's like hell.

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And you know, I've got so many great ideas for

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parties to make them awful. Ah, just have Mazzy Stars

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fade into you on repeat the whole time, like it's

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a good song. But if once you hear it like

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fifty times, you want to kill yourself.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, little known fact. Joe here is an excellent cook.

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He makes the best horror nerves. What horror nerves?

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Speaker 1: Horror?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like orders, but they're Yeah.

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Speaker 1: That's really bad, that's really stressing.

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Speaker 2: What the hey, I'll cut off your arm.

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Speaker 3: You could have gone with horror door like as I

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don't want to know. We're not workshopping this, Chris. This is

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what they call it here in Hell. Horror nerves. All right,

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We're not taking comedic lessons from Chris Damascus or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Whatever. Who cares, No one, No one cares.

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Speaker 4: I have I do.

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Speaker 5: I have a great idea to make a party awful

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to you? Would you like to hear?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely?

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 5: The first way to make sure a party is awful

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is to have a guy with long hair and then

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an acoustic guitar in the corner. Just that is a

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show fire away for things to get bad very quickly.

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Everyone brings wine, no cork screw, especially whenever.

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Speaker 1: He turns off the actual music that's playing.

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Speaker 4: Exactly to play the acoustic guitar, and.

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Speaker 1: It's always an original song that he wrote.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty sisely.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: That being said, you've you've booked some pretty great DJs

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in our time. I really like the ones that you

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bring on who cut out the music right when it's

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getting to the part that everybody likes because they want

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the crowd to sing along. That is that is a

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classic move. Everyone hates it. It's awesome.

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Speaker 5: This This is a this is a masterstroke of djank

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Is having them stop the music right when it gets good.

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Speaker 1: Especially if they just don't turn it back on, and

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it's just the entire crowd singing the rest of the

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concert and.

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Speaker 3: They're all just wasted, and like the lines are all

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fucked up, and it's just like you you.

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Speaker 5: Know, yes, and like while the while the crowd is

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and everybody is singing terribly through the song and they

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start losing their place, the DJ just packs up. It

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just like puts this stuff away. It never starts the

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music again. It just walks off. That's what a home run.

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Speaker 1: So Stalin, we don't talk a lot. I'm sorry what

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00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,559
I'm just curious. You bring over a lot of people

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00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,879
over the house to hang out. You never once it

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00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,840
brought over Hitler. What's the deal between you two?

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Speaker 2: You want to meet Hitler?

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00:13:23,159 --> 00:13:24,480
Speaker 1: No, I don't want I'm just curious.

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00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:25,399
Speaker 2: You want to meet Hitler?

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00:13:25,399 --> 00:13:26,320
Speaker 1: No, I don't want to meet Hitler.

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00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,080
Speaker 5: I let it go out and let it be known

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out there listening Chris really wants to meet.

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Speaker 4: Hit I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to meet Hitler. I'm just curious because

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from a historical perspective, I'm surprised I haven't seen him

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at once.

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Speaker 5: Well it's it's long story, but we have falling out

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down here.

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Speaker 4: We had the competing parties. It was a big there

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was a big thing. It's a big, big.

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Speaker 1: Feud down here in how Oh what is his party?

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Speaker 4: Well, you know, I am known as the party.

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Speaker 5: Guys were all like great parties with people, and he

335
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threw up party.

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Speaker 4: The same night.

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Speaker 5: Oh what an asshole, just a real pea. That was

338
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,320
the worst thing he's ever done. An he's a monster

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throwing a competing party the same night.

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Speaker 3: Well, if it makes you feel better. I came to

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00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,240
your party instead, and it was bonkers. I heard from

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00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,720
ados party. It was like one of those like wine

343
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and cheese parties, you know, hoity toity. Oh we're coming in,

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We're gonna spare wine into this bucket.

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Speaker 5: Oh, just a New Yorker magazine of a party. Just

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who fucking cares? What the piece of ship?

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Speaker 1: People show up Hitlers?

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Speaker 4: I mean a few, yeah, just a few people show them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean sounds like he's gonna have a

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plus one guest for you, you know, because you.

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Speaker 1: Know I don't.

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Speaker 4: He was a big fan of Hitler.

353
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Speaker 1: Not a fan of Hitler. I just want to make

354
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that clear club Nope, not a fan of Hitler, not

355
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:54,679
a fan. So I'm curious, Stalin back on Earth, you're known,

356
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you know, one of your big accomplishments. And I say

357
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this in the with parentheses. It's an audio podcast.

358
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:01,559
Speaker 4: We're aware.

359
00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:05,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, is the Great Purge where you just killed? I

360
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:09,200
don't know, like a million people your own people? Do

361
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,440
you ever run into people from that?

362
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:12,720
Speaker 4: Oh?

363
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:16,200
Speaker 5: Occasionally, you know, at the grocery store, I'll see people

364
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,519
who died in the perch.

365
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Speaker 1: Awkward.

366
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,440
Speaker 4: It's like seeing an X.

367
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:25,039
Speaker 5: Yeah, you try to like look away, like, oh, I'm

368
00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:28,559
interested in this product. This thing didn't just see you,

369
00:15:28,639 --> 00:15:32,519
and we didn't make just make a piercingly awkward eye contact.

370
00:15:33,039 --> 00:15:34,159
Speaker 2: And in hell too.

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00:15:34,639 --> 00:15:36,559
Speaker 3: You know, on Earth, every now and then you like

372
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,360
bump into somebody the grocery store and then you like

373
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,279
might see him the aisle over, and then maybe an

374
00:15:40,279 --> 00:15:43,039
aisle over, six hundred and sixty six aisles of that

375
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,679
exact experience, over and over and over again.

376
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,080
Speaker 4: Oh, just buon chilling.

377
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,600
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, how do you feel about just

378
00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:53,639
being remembered for that The Great Purge?

379
00:15:54,399 --> 00:15:57,480
Speaker 4: I mean that I think it's it's fantastic. I think

380
00:15:58,159 --> 00:15:58,679
you know, they.

381
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,639
Speaker 5: Made the motion picture about my life and about all

382
00:16:03,159 --> 00:16:04,720
my exploits called The Perche.

383
00:16:04,879 --> 00:16:05,279
Speaker 4: Yeah.

384
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:08,480
Speaker 2: I heard that's a that's a multi movie franchise too.

385
00:16:09,519 --> 00:16:12,720
Speaker 4: Of course they made many many films the Purge.

386
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you watch it right, they're coming out with those

387
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:17,279
when you were up on Earth.

388
00:16:17,399 --> 00:16:22,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's uh, not based off your life stone

389
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,639
what what? No, it's a movie about where they get

390
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,639
rid of laws and you can kill people and legally.

391
00:16:29,679 --> 00:16:31,720
Speaker 4: I mean that sounds it looks like my life I

392
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,559
honestly that I know.

393
00:16:33,639 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 1: But it's not. They don't mention you at all. There's

394
00:16:35,919 --> 00:16:39,399
no What about the credits, I don't think so. I

395
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,879
mean you can pull up IMDb or something.

396
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 4: Well, one Russian was harmed in the making of this film.

397
00:16:45,559 --> 00:16:47,799
Speaker 2: Me emotionally look at him.

398
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 1: Oh, come on, right, I mean, do you can you?

399
00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:52,759
I don't have access to a phone, but you can

400
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,440
check it if you want to.

401
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,440
Speaker 2: What check up?

402
00:16:55,519 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 1: Pull up IMDb on what on your hell phone?

403
00:17:00,159 --> 00:17:00,360
Speaker 3: Yeah?

404
00:17:00,399 --> 00:17:03,159
Speaker 2: There you go. I'm so proud of you. No, I'm

405
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,240
not gonna look it up. I don't care.

406
00:17:04,799 --> 00:17:07,119
Speaker 5: So this this film is about one night of the

407
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,160
year all crime is legal.

408
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,079
Speaker 4: Do people like.

409
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 1: They kill each other? It's mostly murder. It's like a

410
00:17:14,519 --> 00:17:15,680
horror franchise.

411
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,599
Speaker 5: It seems like, I mean, I would be a tax fraud.

412
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,720
I would be, you know, stealing great amounts of money.

413
00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:26,920
Like if this is all crime is legal, killing.

414
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:27,799
Speaker 4: Is you can do that anytime?

415
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:28,079
Speaker 1: Yeah?

416
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,599
Speaker 2: You can't embezzle and get away with that exactly.

417
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,160
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't write the movie, so I don't.

418
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,720
Speaker 4: I don't know. So, I mean, I I sure this

419
00:17:37,799 --> 00:17:38,680
is terrible to hear.

420
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,839
Speaker 5: I would have much rather have been about my life.

421
00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:44,400
Speaker 1: What would you put in your movie?

422
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:48,319
Speaker 4: Well, probably about as much killing about to say, but

423
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:48,960
just more.

424
00:17:48,759 --> 00:17:57,000
Speaker 5: Fraud, but more tax cheating, espousal cheating. Really just a

425
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,119
lot of things that you you know, can't get away with.

426
00:17:59,160 --> 00:17:59,799
Speaker 4: Up there more.

427
00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:04,119
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, so y'all are in charge of the culture crew.

428
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,240
Could we do a movie night? Is that a thing?

429
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:10,960
Speaker 3: And well, I mean our our library down here in

430
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,240
Hell is kind of limited. We don't have a lot

431
00:18:13,279 --> 00:18:18,039
of movies available. We've got like the Spice Girls movie.

432
00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:21,960
Speaker 4: We have that movie Taxi with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah.

433
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:27,200
Speaker 2: Yeah on Blu Ray though. We've got pat the movie.

434
00:18:27,519 --> 00:18:30,160
Speaker 5: We have the we have the edited for TV version

435
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,880
of die Hard Unwatchable.

436
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:37,079
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, super Babies super Baby Geniuses too, Yeah, only

437
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,119
the second one. Only the second one. Yeah, a lot

438
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,640
a lot of sequels in the library.

439
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,759
Speaker 5: We do have Empider Strikes Back, but it's on VHS

440
00:18:44,799 --> 00:18:47,200
and it doesn't work. So it gets you hype that

441
00:18:47,279 --> 00:18:49,119
you will get to see Impider Strikes Back. But you

442
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,519
put it in and the tape goes, you get past

443
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,279
like the first like and then it just it builds

444
00:18:56,319 --> 00:18:58,640
you up so high and then Christious.

445
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,839
Speaker 1: You yeah. Yeah, Well, I mean, honestly, I've never seen

446
00:19:01,839 --> 00:19:03,720
Baby Geniuses too.

447
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 4: So I would be you and most people frankly.

448
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I would be up for it. It

449
00:19:09,519 --> 00:19:12,839
wouldn't be awful. I mean it would be really tortureful

450
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,160
if we all had just like a movie night of

451
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,359
you know, the guys hanging out watching Baby Geniuses too.

452
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,400
I'm just saying I would really hate that.

453
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,559
Speaker 2: Are you like saying tonight because.

454
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:28,680
Speaker 4: We're this this tonight is rough? Yeah, I think we

455
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:28,960
can do.

456
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 2: We're both a little booked up with.

457
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:36,960
Speaker 5: What I wouldn't worry about what we're doing here, and

458
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,279
this is this house, in our house, I wouldn't worry

459
00:19:40,319 --> 00:19:40,839
about that.

460
00:19:41,039 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

461
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:45,559
Speaker 3: Didn't you have like errands run across Hell? You know

462
00:19:45,799 --> 00:19:47,279
that you weren't gonna be able to be around four?

463
00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 5: What I seem to recall you saying, oh this, I've

464
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:55,880
got to go to the other side of Hell, which.

465
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,880
Speaker 4: Is very far away. Yeah, it'll take you hours.

466
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,039
Speaker 1: Are y'all throwing a party tonight?

467
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,119
Speaker 4: No kidding.

468
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 5: We would never throw a party here in this place

469
00:20:09,279 --> 00:20:10,240
without inviting you.

470
00:20:10,319 --> 00:20:11,119
Speaker 4: That's crazy.

471
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 3: We wouldn't invite like everybody else in Hell and exclude

472
00:20:14,559 --> 00:20:18,440
you specifically, No, don't be ridiculous.

473
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:21,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, y'all are having a party. I'm not dumb.

474
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 4: Well I don't wouldn't go that from them.

475
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,079
Speaker 1: Are y'all? Are are y'all having a party?

476
00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:29,759
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this must be like a new kind

477
00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:31,240
of torture rooming with this guy.

478
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,680
Speaker 2: Yes, Chris, we're having a party tonight. Can I come? No?

479
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 1: Please?

480
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:37,839
Speaker 4: No?

481
00:20:38,559 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 2: Since you said please? Sure?

482
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,519
Speaker 1: No? Why it's at my house?

483
00:20:44,759 --> 00:20:47,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's actually it was Joseph's house and we

484
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,119
had this whole thing planned before you even came down here.

485
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,920
Speaker 1: How you've had this party plan for a month.

486
00:20:54,759 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean.

487
00:20:55,559 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 3: That's how long parties typically take the plan. What are

488
00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:00,359
you just popping parties up like an hour before they happen?

489
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 5: Yes, seriously, how much social clouds do you have to

490
00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:05,559
just say, like party in one hour?

491
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 3: He let me tell you none. I saw him when

492
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,200
he was up on the earth threall. This guy's a loser.

493
00:21:11,319 --> 00:21:13,880
Speaker 1: I don't have to bring people. I'll just I'll stay

494
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:14,480
out of the way.

495
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,319
Speaker 2: No, Chris, No, you're gonna totally dampen the mood.

496
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:20,400
Speaker 3: You're gonna be sitting in the corner, creepy, staring at

497
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,000
Helen Keller.

498
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,759
Speaker 2: Is she invited? Is she going?

499
00:21:22,839 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 3: Well, of course she's invited. It's Helen Keller. We fucking

500
00:21:25,279 --> 00:21:31,000
love her. No, Chris, you can't come please? Oh yeah,

501
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,279
he said please Toice.

502
00:21:32,279 --> 00:21:35,079
Speaker 5: Sure. No, God, he's gonna be like one of those

503
00:21:35,079 --> 00:21:37,279
guys who like tries to show you a YouTube video

504
00:21:37,319 --> 00:21:39,400
but can't find it and like stops it.

505
00:21:39,519 --> 00:21:40,839
Speaker 2: He's like, oh no, it's really funny.

506
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 4: I promise look watch this. Oh wait wait what was

507
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:43,960
it called again?

508
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:44,279
Speaker 1: Oh?

509
00:21:44,279 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 3: And then like so it's awful Ruby right after this advertisement,

510
00:21:48,279 --> 00:21:49,119
hold on, hold on.

511
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,640
Speaker 1: But don't you like bad parties? I can help with, Like.

512
00:21:52,759 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 4: I like torturist parties.

513
00:21:54,799 --> 00:21:58,519
Speaker 5: You have this like banality that is just oh it's

514
00:21:58,559 --> 00:22:00,960
it's somehow worse than to Yeah.

515
00:22:01,319 --> 00:22:02,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, Chris, it's just not gonna happen.

516
00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:04,759
Speaker 1: I can make I can I can change.

517
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 5: Oh wow, that was the most pitiful sentence I've ever heard.

518
00:22:10,599 --> 00:22:13,279
Speaker 4: That's what that's like. Cut that cut to me that.

519
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,319
Speaker 3: Chris, might I remind you that all of hell is

520
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,880
currently listening to you beg and they're gonna be here

521
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,200
later tonight, and it's you're gonna be the talk of

522
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,720
the party, and you're not even.

523
00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 2: Gonna be here.

524
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't Okay, you know what. I don't want

525
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:31,079
to come to the party all right, because you're not. No,

526
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,839
I don't want to come. Even if you invited me

527
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,039
right now, I wouldn't come.

528
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:38,319
Speaker 3: Wow, reverse psychology, what a concept. I can't wrap my

529
00:22:38,319 --> 00:22:39,240
little head around this.

530
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 2: God, what are you? Sigmund Freud? You're not because he's

531
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,559
coming to the party tonight. You're not gonna be there.

532
00:22:43,599 --> 00:22:46,279
Oh yeah, we should have signua foid on later.

533
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:47,839
Speaker 1: So what am I supposed to do?

534
00:22:48,319 --> 00:22:48,839
Speaker 2: I don't know.

535
00:22:49,079 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 3: Well, like what did you normally do on Earth whenever

536
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,200
you weren't invited to parties?

537
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, sit at home by myself, which I

538
00:22:56,519 --> 00:22:58,359
can't do because the party's at my house.

539
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 2: Oh that is a bit.

540
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 1: Of a comment.

541
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 3: I'm sure you'll figure it out, Chris, your resource whule.

542
00:23:04,319 --> 00:23:07,799
Just get on your legs, just go for a walk.

543
00:23:08,039 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, just like go like like sit in the parking lot,

544
00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:13,599
like I said, divorced dad, and like eat the fish

545
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,839
filet sandwich along.

546
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 3: Oh wait, hold on, okay, we got I can hear

547
00:23:19,319 --> 00:23:21,079
him outside where we got guests showing up?

548
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,759
Speaker 5: Chris, you're gonna have to go all right, you're gonna

549
00:23:22,759 --> 00:23:26,160
have to scoop, yes, scram I don't have legs.

550
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,039
Speaker 3: Okay, we're going to do this like old bouncer style.

551
00:23:30,319 --> 00:23:31,720
All right, you take that arm.

552
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,799
Speaker 1: Wait, all right, guys, just one more second to put

553
00:23:34,799 --> 00:23:35,440
me in the corner.

554
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 2: No, Chris, like a plant.

555
00:23:37,559 --> 00:23:39,759
Speaker 4: No, absolutely not grabbing all right?

556
00:23:40,839 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: One? Three?

557
00:23:44,599 --> 00:23:47,039
Speaker 3: God, No, I thought you didn't have a leaf, no joke.

558
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,400
Oh my gosh. I never thought i'd have to throw

559
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,519
somebody out of their own house.

560
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 4: Close the door.

561
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:54,519
Speaker 2: He's looking through the window.

562
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 3: This is this is this is the saddest of sad.

563
00:23:59,240 --> 00:23:59,759
Speaker 4: I'm closing.

564
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 5: Sorry, I can still hear y'all, and we can hear

565
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,799
you sobbing and heavy breathing outside.

566
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,519
Speaker 3: Chris, give it a break, dude, Just go somewhere else. Wait,

567
00:24:12,559 --> 00:24:16,880
somebody's at the door. Hey, what's up. Hey, there's a

568
00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:20,240
weird thing outside and he's just clawing at the windows.

569
00:24:20,319 --> 00:24:21,759
Speaker 1: You guys want to do something about that.

570
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,319
Speaker 2: Is this where the party's at it? This is the party? Well,

571
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:28,000
don't worry about that guy, Jeffrey. Hey, guys, I'm in

572
00:24:28,079 --> 00:24:31,200
an at hell. Could you just tip me over the

573
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,920
other direction? Shut up out there? Stop God starting to

574
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:35,400
bite me.

575
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:40,880
Speaker 3: Please Clayton, please, Chris leave it, shut.

576
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,279
Speaker 2: Up, all right, I'll just let him bite. All right,

577
00:24:43,279 --> 00:24:46,119
we're gonna wrap this up. Joseph Stalin, thanks.

578
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,519
Speaker 5: For having being on man, absolutely, thank you so much

579
00:24:48,519 --> 00:24:49,200
for having me.

580
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,599
Speaker 4: And I'm so excited to have this party. It's gonna

581
00:24:51,599 --> 00:24:51,839
be great.

582
00:24:51,839 --> 00:24:53,559
Speaker 3: Oh it's gonna be badest party if you're listening in

583
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,279
Hell right now, come on down. It's too Joseph and

584
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,720
Chris's place. Chris isn't here, so it's gonna be extra cool.

585
00:25:00,079 --> 00:25:02,440
This has been Clayton from Good Morning from Hell, has been.

586
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 2: Chris, Good Morning from us. Shut up, Chris. Make sure

587
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,200
you subscribe to our podcast.

588
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,839
Speaker 3: Give us some good reviews out there on those podcast channels.

589
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,720
Tell all your friends. We want as many Claytons as

590
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,720
we can accumulate. All right, let's get this party started.

591
00:25:16,799 --> 00:25:18,640
Hell Clayton, Hell Clayton. Yes.

592
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:19,319
Speaker 5: By