Speaker 1: Hey, this is John and Ben with Gateleapers and Geek
Exploration the podcast, and we have something new and exciting
to share with you. We made more comic.
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Speaker 1: While on a job, a young woman named Jeck Paxton
suddenly becomes an unsolicited crew member.
Speaker 2: Jet's quest to find her mother will point them toward
a fabled artifact of immense power and all the danger
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Speaker 3: Cheap round Dirty Come he.
Speaker 4: Did the ki.
Speaker 3: Join the Quest is a charted Join the Dicey bast.
Speaker 2: Six writers face off by a roll of the dice
Hell fight Dirty leave.
Speaker 3: Nothing behind but fingerprints at a.
Speaker 5: Tall tale steal a cart breaking fats with plenty of
time to kill and Icy.
Speaker 4: Bastess ten dis Almas Diceing and you know the Cabby
Jasting Fasts.
Speaker 5: Come on and join the Diicing Bastar.
Speaker 6: Hey, the Junior Dictors and friends.
Speaker 7: Welcome to the next episode of Authors Director presents the
Dicey Bassards.
Speaker 6: My name is M. K.
Speaker 7: Gibson, your host, dungeon Master and author of such books
Asue Dreams of Fire and To Pay there A and
Devian's Junior Adventures and Free Friends, Frogs whatever.
Speaker 6: Welcome to the next episode of.
Speaker 5: Frauds.
Speaker 6: You fake fans. Hi, I'm M. K.
Speaker 7: Gibson, your host, dungeon Master, an author of such books
as a Shadow Master series and the Technomannswer series.
Speaker 6: Who do we have today?
Speaker 3: The same people?
Speaker 7: This bit never gets Actually, no, we're down a guy.
We get to skip over Robin Bevan, who said, fuck
you guys, I'm not joining today, which bumps up to
the next alphabetically to Rick Walteriery mister.
Speaker 3: Gurd Hello friends, right, yeah, I just can't can't help
falling into falling into my alternate persona. Anyway, today I
am Rick Walteriery and I am playing Moo fish Eater.
In real life, I write several books, including The Caverns. No, no, no,
not the Caverns. That's that's the other person. I write
the Tone of Bill U, Bill of the Dead, Tales
of a Crypto Hunter, and my much more.
Speaker 7: That's you said today, you're going to be here, You're
gonna be tomorrow, is it, Drew Hayes to tune in
tomorrow and.
Speaker 4: See, well, we may be down a sorcerer, but we've
still got a horserer. And that is play me Drew
Hayes playing Cobert the Expedient on a centaur who loves
to get place as quickly. I'm in real life the
author of books such as Superpowers for the Vampire Accountant
and The Villain's Code series, the newest of which, Chilling Reflections,
is coming out in print and ebook on August eighth.
Audio will be announced as soon as they give me
the date. And of course I'm starting my new series, Roverpowered,
on September third, and then of course there's a Decade
of Death and Decisions on October nineteenth. So many fun things.
Speaker 6: Are you save some money for the rest of us
to include I m kaplan.
Speaker 8: Oh hey, hi, I'm Emily. I'm playing Claudia today.
Speaker 4: And for the newest book of audio chilling Reflections number three.
Speaker 8: The only thing I have left over from last week
is in no that says cocaine, So I'm assuming that
she has found the happy I mean, the game.
Speaker 5: Just how you'll weak.
Speaker 8: If I were in real life using cocaine, I would
be writing a lot faster. But instead I have one
book new that is arsenic and anabized. Please get it.
Speaker 7: It's like cocaine. Just it'll kill you, all right, speaking
of the things that are old that will kill you.
Steve Weather or how are you, sir?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 5: We may be down a sorcerer, we.
Speaker 8: Still have a fun, lighthearted mystery.
Speaker 5: I am Steve Amazon and other place is what he saw?
Speaker 3: Books?
Speaker 5: I don't know, and I'll be playing Stan Dan Deliver
as usual. To lead is a strong word, isn't it? Yeah?
The coordinator attempted to coordinator.
Speaker 4: Mascot no Georcier's the mascote figurehead figure ed.
Speaker 5: Deluded old man aging Icon't.
Speaker 8: Weird Dad, Captain.
Speaker 5: Of the Titanic and uh yeah, let's have some adventures.
Let's do this.
Speaker 7: That being said, the nice class you play has to
be a horserer. You know, it's just you know, but
with a whore in it. All right, folks, Before we
get into the game today, I want to take a
mind or reminds you all listening that if you're not
already part of the A and D family, then you
are missing out. Head over to patreon dot com slash
Authors and Dragons, or you can check out the various
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it's a month. You can join our discorder, we can
chat with hundreds of friends and fans and new new
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our Authors and Dragons dot com. Check out the merch
for tea public and a lot of our cool merch.
And if you don't have the money to help us
anyway like that, then turn to a life of crime.
Give us your ill gotten gains, beat up old people
and take their money. But if you still have a
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Then you can just subscribe to your various podcast services.
You can leave reviews, you can give a little thumbs
up anything like that. Even in YouTube, bad stuff helps
us more than your were going to realize. Okay, with
a shilling out of the way, is everyone ready to
get into it?
Speaker 5: Join the A and D family. If you don't have
enough bold, drunk uncles with terrible opinions, we can guarantee
you at least like three or four three of those. Yeah,
at least.
Speaker 6: All right.
Speaker 7: Greetings, all, this is Connie Stam's conscience. What's the happy house? No, No,
not feeling that one either. I really need a catchphrase.
I'm moving on. In the last episode, The Dicey Bastards, why.
Speaker 6: Do you need to cut? Why do you need a catchphrase?
Speaker 5: You're in my head.
Speaker 6: Because I want to be I want to be a
thing standing on that movie. This is my time. Shut
the fuck up.
Speaker 7: In the last episode, The Dicey Bassard stumbled into an
ambushmenter set upon by feral children and magical masks. After
an incredible display of aged athletics, monkey magic, and copious
amounts of child murder, the team managed you know what, no,
no folks at home. I really really need to hammer
this point home. After discovering possessive as children by some
kind of fay magic. This pack asshole libracy who sprayed
them with air quote web all over the kids.
Speaker 6: Burned them alive. But it gets better.
Speaker 7: One child was behead with a mace, one was frozen,
one was stabbed, and there were two who tried the fleet.
But thanks to Claudia and Moves both natural twenties, no
child was left behind.
Speaker 6: Oh, stay in school, Stay in school. The scene it
was disgusting.
Speaker 7: At least Cabert only punched a kid in the ribs
and then spent a couple of turns trying to shoot
the invisible kids away.
Speaker 6: You're like, God, bless at least someone.
Speaker 7: Has a heart on this team. Oh and then they
left a bloody note saying, courtesy of the totally innocent party,
this is your team.
Speaker 6: This is the team that you tuned in for.
Speaker 3: Oh right.
Speaker 7: The dicey Bassards then wandered into West Cherry so they
met pink Rita, the cocaine addicted magical items merchant who
explained the curse of the old East Cherry City. After
wasting her time, and Stan staunchly refused to give old
Mother Hubbard a bone, the group beheaded to headed over
to the sheriff station, where they met the very drunk
and very overword sheriff. They were then deputized on the
spot tasked with discovering and ending the source of the
curse is plaguing your children.
Speaker 5: That could have gone a lot worse with the sheriff instead,
now we are the law. Oh that's terrible. I would
just like to point out I am like joint first
for the people who have for the person who has
killed the least amount of children on this podcast thus far.
Speaker 3: I want to I want to look for some muff
or some legal letterhead to let the town know that
being an elf is now illegal.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 7: The sheriff Quinna will shut you down all that unfortunately,
mayor teach it to you that this is an elf
friendly town.
Speaker 4: I want to just get this on the record real quick.
I'm calling it now. Think the final boss of this
campaign is Connie.
Speaker 6: Tell that Manda. Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 7: I got to stop getting ahead of the story all
you tell that Manda.
Speaker 5: The final boss of this podcast is everybody just examining
their own conscience. That is right and good.
Speaker 3: The last so just just weeping. What have we become?
Speaker 5: That's why we all unterilecturally decide that whatever Bevin did
has gone too far and now we're stopping it.
Speaker 8: Little side note, I'm wondering, is there a Romeo and
Juliet law for murder murdering kids like if I'm if
I'm within a certain age.
Speaker 5: If they're annoying enough, you could just waite the way
he's suggesting that the priest just killed both of those
kids because they're annoying, Because that makes a lot more sense.
Speaker 8: No, I mean, if you're within range, then it's not
as bad as killing.
Speaker 4: Uh spell range age range.
Speaker 6: I'm just gonna put off to the side of the map.
Speaker 7: But you're all watching, talking about were looking for letterhead,
possibly rifling from more cocaine, wondering about potential and big
bad evil boss villains. Uh, your your pal George for
the Sorcerer disappears in a flash of magic swirl and
smoke and a little card saying taken by Father Brandon,
he'll be back later.
Speaker 4: It's probably fine.
Speaker 5: Probably fine. I did wonder if he'd noticed effect that
we'd essentially melted all his communication equipment, but it seems
he's on.
Speaker 3: Top of that.
Speaker 5: I guess Joe Stroy gets to explain that.
Speaker 3: On the on the upside, this party is now about
approximately eighty percent less moist. That's so gross. All right,
let's go, let's go restinescent people.
Speaker 5: Well that's how Maud, we'd saved that for our off
time when you want to have some fun. We do
have a mission ahead of it. And I just negotiated
as a nice little bonus for maybe not killing the kids.
Speaker 7: Extra hundred gold for every child, live child returned to
their family, live child.
Speaker 4: What an excellent modifier to put in there.
Speaker 7: Giving Yeah, well, no, that's that's what I really listened to.
The real listened back to the episode this morning to
make sure I had all my ducks in a row.
And definitely the mook have a question, Yes, is any
is anyone your priest you can animate dead?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 7: We have no clergy in this town at the moment.
Speaker 3: I know, no. Move was not asking asking you, lawman.
Speaker 6: What the fuck you're still doing here.
Speaker 7: You're like, it's He'll look at It's like, oh, so
the sun to be going down pretty soon. You guys
are going to want to find a place to stay
for the night probably and uh, and then head out
in the morning. You're gonna have have to head over
to East Cherry.
Speaker 3: We we we lowman, No, we live here.
Speaker 6: Get the fuck out of my station.
Speaker 5: Okay, Muke will arrest innocent people in our holiday time,
and uh, it's whole children. We can't just mail parts
of them back to their parents.
Speaker 3: And I like.
Speaker 5: Thinking about maybe resurrecting the dead, not just puppeteering dead
children back to their parents. I don't think they don't
like that. I'm not a childcare expert, but my instincts
say no, if only you had brought Gigi.
Speaker 8: Hey, I didn't make any masks of them, so we're
a leg up.
Speaker 6: What are you talking about?
Speaker 5: That's that's great, Clodia, shush, please.
Speaker 7: Making masks. Oh god, what is on your face? He
goes and faces down in the cocaine. God, this there
is the town. The stuf hits the town. Everything just
gets better, I swear to God.
Speaker 5: All right, yeah, it's great. She she's got a perfectly
good mask that isn't the child's face. And we'll be
seeing you later, my friend.
Speaker 3: Goodbye.
Speaker 7: Don't care, you know if you need a mapper, all right,
get out of my go then, so I'll just everybody out,
all right, So probably do you guys want a camp
for the night. Do you want to go see you
want to go over to the Adventuring Guild or just
go straight to the ind and say screw it.
Speaker 5: So I don't think we need to I don't think
we need to further involve the guild here. There's a
lot of explaining that needs done, and I don't think
we're ready to explain those things yet.
Speaker 7: Just recall, that's who you eventually have to see to
claim any reward.
Speaker 4: So yeah, well we might all be of the mind
that getting away with this is its own reward.
Speaker 7: Well, you can't get to the main quest until you
finished the side.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna point out that getting away with it
doesn't pay the bills.
Speaker 6: I daily we're gonna dog bife.
Speaker 5: I don't know how we're gonna look this out. It
doesn't look good, but.
Speaker 4: I'm really glad not to be the one who has
to do the talking, who needs a good perry.
Speaker 5: If we just camp in the sort of grounds of
the town.
Speaker 4: Well there is an actual in, you know, Are we
just like throwing a tent up in on the road.
Speaker 7: They also warned you, like the kids, the murder kids
tend to come at night and try to steal people
off the streets. So staying inside is a good thing.
If you want to sit outside, we can have a
whole other campaign that I play and I have no
problem with this. But you remember, you guys are still
pretty fucked up and down spells and wounded.
Speaker 4: Well that's right, I'm actually not terrible.
Speaker 7: Yeah, because we bobbled down eight of ten. Good fer
your shit machine, So.
Speaker 5: Your hit points are great, but your asshole is fucking fried.
Speaker 4: I know what you're talking about. This body's all horse.
Those things could fart for a day and not be winded.
Now the rest of you, I.
Speaker 5: Will say to the team, I've got a couple of
gold pieces. We can stay in any and if you
prefer a night of security and comfort by really mustress
that all that shit we did with the dead children,
we probably shouldn't talk about that. And also, you know,
just murdering elves apparently is frowned upon in this town
and literally everywhere else.
Speaker 3: Would would it be evil elves? Well? What are you saying? Nothing?
You know it rude to eavesdrop.
Speaker 6: In my office, my deputies, we.
Speaker 5: Were talking about the potentiality of evil elves. We have
investigated as such some necromances, no less, not racists. This
is a cultural thing.
Speaker 7: All right, because I don't like Ill's like at all,
and I hate that that I have to work for one.
She is a real ballbuster I don't care for.
Speaker 3: Would you like us to do something about that? Oh?
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, that's highly problematic.
Speaker 4: Not the way I saw this going.
Speaker 6: But move give me perception check, all right?
Speaker 5: Is there a hand signal between these people?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 3: Seven?
Speaker 6: Seven?
Speaker 7: You know you do not see his overt wink?
Speaker 3: So too bad.
Speaker 6: Everybody else does but not you.
Speaker 8: Are there are there empty cells with beds in this place?
Because are not?
Speaker 6: No, he's not. He's not having his He's.
Speaker 5: Pretty clear about sharing out.
Speaker 7: This is this is Twins time. I've got to get
oiled up and do my dance.
Speaker 5: So can we have taken a lot of his cocaine?
Speaker 7: That is true, you have taken a lot of us cocaine.
The most actually was by Georsaur, who took a dire bottlesworth.
Speaker 3: So alright, maybe maybe maybe we should leave here before
before sheriff here is too much and sheriff must have accident.
Speaker 5: That's very thoughtful of you, make.
Speaker 4: How kind? Yeah, let's let's probably probably get out of here.
Speaker 8: All right, fine, let's let's go to the inn.
Speaker 5: We'll stay the inn. Can I distress once again with failing?
Everyone be cool?
Speaker 6: All right?
Speaker 7: You wander across the street and like, uh, you know,
you leave the town.
Speaker 6: A little excuse me, I'll leave the town. You leave
the sheriff station and.
Speaker 7: Kind of meander around to you find the one still
quasi opened in. Obviously with everything the curse going on,
feral children, people in tears, and ruination of this once
blossoming town. You go to the one remain eating in
which seems to be barely barely functional at all, the
cherry Blossom, and you go inside and you find a
very rather austere b and b uh one dwarven woman
behind the counter.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 7: She waves you like either sleepy Jane, come on in,
come on in, you'll sleepy Jane. Or behind her there
is a there is a huge furnace of an even
ready to go to cook.
Speaker 6: You know, if you guys are.
Speaker 5: Hungry, you'll sleepy Jane.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm sleepy Jane.
Speaker 7: I run the cherry bloss Who are you?
Speaker 3: Are you?
Speaker 5: Why did they call you sleepy Jane?
Speaker 7: No idea, Honni I just you all right, fuck around
a lot. Okay, that's you want to hear.
Speaker 5: So it's huh you look pretty pecky to me, sweet time.
Speaker 6: Oh if you want some of this, then that could
be all right.
Speaker 5: No, I was just flatting with you to try and
get a better rate. Thank you.
Speaker 7: Oh well, then are you with the inventary Guild? M
because you look like that type these guys coming from
time to time.
Speaker 5: Feels like a loaded question, that Jay.
Speaker 7: Well, because if you just give me your your uh
nate party name and the pin number that goes with it,
I'll just build a guild. Oh sweet, you get it,
You get it. You get a discount of rate as
long as you're with the guild.
Speaker 5: Excellent, because I definitely remember both of those things.
Speaker 6: Okay, so what are they?
Speaker 5: Okay, Gibbie. If you don't give me this, I'm just
gonna use the magic of editing to perfectly.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 7: Let's does anybody in the party remember one your party's name,
and two the pin number you all assigned.
Speaker 4: Our party's name is the dicey Bastards.
Speaker 5: The pin number was the lesbi's Uh yeah.
Speaker 8: Two four six one one correct?
Speaker 7: Right, well done, I'm my blackboard behind me, Like, good job.
Speaker 5: And for the benefit to listen is I didn't even
have to edit that and we just remembered it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Steve definitely didn't edit that in.
Speaker 3: Sharp.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're still bouncing, by the way, normally it gets
to a person in ten minutes, but it's still since
your blood doesn't flow, it's just sitting in your system.
Speaker 8: So i'd like to when I sneeze, sneeze a dust
cloud of cocaine.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, Now for the solicitors at home, the cocaine,
if you're just tuning in, it's not actually cocaine.
Speaker 6: It is distilled speed postiontions.
Speaker 7: Potions of like you know, uh uh, and they've been
distilled down, chopped up and like it's cocaine.
Speaker 6: Yeah, let's just go with that.
Speaker 5: So I mean, speed's a thing, and ah, well to
give you to like.
Speaker 7: You know, potions of alacrity and potions of like you know,
and you know it is they're basically speed potions have
been boiled down and turned into essentially cocaine. Because those
potions do pass after a while, but there's just enough
if you snort it you get a little bit of
a boost.
Speaker 3: So good to know.
Speaker 5: I'm glad this mechanics in place of is.
Speaker 7: She goes over to the oven here and covers her eyes, like,
do you all want anything to eat? This thing's a
beast and could cook up anything, flash fry anything, and
like minute or less the vote seven, I love this thing.
Speaker 3: We want we wish for food, and we wish for
beds that do not smell like elves.
Speaker 6: No, no, no no.
Speaker 7: Each room is scent color coded and scented. Pick the
one that you like the most. Uh, the one the
bed on the far left is pretends to be for
larger people, but you can all pile in for one
you like, there's no one coming in tonight. We're gonna
lock the doors up and you guys will be on
your own. I tend to go back.
Speaker 6: To my house for this. I trust you all.
Speaker 7: I've got your number, I've got your assignment number, I've
got your team names, so I'll bill you for any damages.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Moog will glance at Clodia and remember the last
time that, like you know that everybody shared a room
with her, Like, yeah, we'll just get separate rooms. Just
look at it.
Speaker 5: At the Kowala faced zombie woman sneezing cocaine.
Speaker 6: Yes, separate rooms. Please help yourselves, Help yourselves. She goes
to work and she searchs for doing.
Speaker 7: Us some venison steaks with some wild rice and some
gravy and a few roast of potatoes for your guys's
dinner for tonight.
Speaker 5: Well, i'll tell you what, glance, This hasn't turned out
too badly, a rough start to today.
Speaker 3: But let's be real.
Speaker 5: But you know, free cocaine and a venison supper.
Speaker 6: Be careful that cocaine, dear, has been going around the town.
Speaker 7: Everybody seems to I don't mind it, but everybody else
seems to be really getting hooked on that stuff.
Speaker 6: It's a dangerous it's a dangerous start.
Speaker 5: It is a tamped moorish I've had.
Speaker 4: I mean, it is an analogous for cocaine.
Speaker 7: So I don't know what you're getting out of honey,
Oh a horsebost boy.
Speaker 3: All right? All right?
Speaker 6: So she she starts whipping up your food. But she
brings it. I don't. She's like, I'm not a server.
Speaker 7: She puts she sets it on this still here and
sets like four plates of like I said, venison steaks,
wild rice, gravy and some roast potatoes, and she'll bring
you out water, beer, mead, wine, whiskey, whatever you want
to drink.
Speaker 4: Excellent, I'm as hungry as a human.
Speaker 5: Four fancy lad a less if you would, and a
bottle of dry white.
Speaker 3: Wine coming up.
Speaker 7: She goes, She goes over and starts porn like, goes
to different tabs and spigots, and then she sets your
drinks up on the counters like again, I'm not a server,
and she sets you up.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 7: Each of the rooms just have a different scent ones
like a vanilla, one's a lavender, one's more of a
musky animal kind of smell. One's more of a cinnamon basin.
One is the cherry blossom special.
Speaker 5: So I would say, sleepy, Jane, don't examine this statement
too quickly. Which of these scented rooms will suppress any
nightmare as I might have about hypothetically mad at children?
Speaker 7: Lavender, I'll take the lavender please.
Speaker 3: This reminds Moog of Less Time move State at boarding House,
except they're much less screaming in her You.
Speaker 7: Want the musky room, then yeah, if you want to
feel that, if you want to feel that primal thing,
the one the Claudi is saying it from that's the
musky and that's the more that's a more animal muskie one.
Speaker 3: So yeah, now that sem oka for her.
Speaker 8: Yeah, Audio wants the jungle room.
Speaker 7: Okay, you got the jungle room. So yeah, you guys
have a pleasant meal, pleasant drinks like that. And as
a time starts to wear on, she's like, okay, well
I will see you all in the morning.
Speaker 6: I will be back. Good luck.
Speaker 7: Don't leave the premises. The kids tend to get a
little uh crazy out there at.
Speaker 3: Night, okay, and if you run into any problems, flash
the badge. We are laws, so if any elves talk
to you that you don't like, we can legally kill them.
Speaker 6: She's she's a man.
Speaker 7: She's a stout dwarf woman who looks pretty strong. She
just gestures of like, honey, I'll be fine and sleepy, Jane.
I'm just gonna put over here in this corner of
the map Yese goes through the door and locks it
from the outside.
Speaker 3: Well that's not ominous at all.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I mean there we have been told that
there are murder children around. So yeah, cliff cluck, cliff
clup clip club.
Speaker 3: Which what does this room smell like?
Speaker 6: Let's say that's a cinnamon room.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's fine.
Speaker 4: I'll I guess I'll see. What's what's this room smell like?
Speaker 6: That's the lavender.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 7: Oh Stan, you get the vanilla room stand.
Speaker 5: I'll take away its left. It's fine, all right.
Speaker 7: Every room does come with its own toilet. That's why
there's a lot of smell in there. Apparently that the
whole is to cover. The center of these are open.
The opened the toilet's a little private room.
Speaker 5: So yeah, stand will for the psych of security investigate.
Is this toilet wide enough for a murderous child to crawl?
Speaker 4: It is not.
Speaker 7: The one in the room to the far left might be,
but no, the all the other toilets are normal buttoles.
Speaker 5: Is there any furniture in the room over than the bed?
Speaker 6: Nope?
Speaker 7: Well you just got a bed, a rug, a toilet,
and some wonderful potpourri.
Speaker 5: Is the bed movable?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, Stan, we'll move the bed up against his door.
Speaker 6: Give me a strength roll.
Speaker 5: He also bang on the door and suggest to everybody
else do to.
Speaker 7: Say, okay, well, if you want to move the bed,
then give me a strength roll.
Speaker 5: I may I may need to call in somebody for
some help.
Speaker 7: This is this is just brute strength. I'm athletics. This
is just brutes stright, you're just trying to move a well,
this ain't ikea for this is a big honkin peak
oak bed.
Speaker 4: Can I throw a perception to hear the sound of
him trying to move a bed next to me?
Speaker 7: You don't need to because the sound of him pulling
his back.
Speaker 5: Everybody, move your bed up to the door.
Speaker 6: Motherfucker.
Speaker 4: Covert will step out. Are you under attack?
Speaker 6: You look in the room, stand what do they see?
Speaker 5: Only by time I had this genius idea about putting
the bed up against a door so that we can
break into and I were alerting me for good. I
wasn't uh you know, however fucking old I am.
Speaker 8: Do our rooms also have windows?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: Okay, that's probably good all things considered, I'm pretty sure
that we had I had one good berry left over
that no one wanted, so I will just offer that
to stay.
Speaker 5: Thank you. Yes, all right, I absolutely fucking needed that.
Speaker 3: It is possible for me to ready this action just
while I'm sleeping, because I'm thinking, when I get in bed,
I'm gonna load my crossbow and just kind of sleep
with it in my hand, my remaining hand pointed towards
the door. So if anybody comes in, just and I
wake up, just fire. H.
Speaker 7: If you are doing that, you're not getting a full rest,
So tomorrow you will have one level of exhaustion. You will,
So you just have disability. You have disadvantage on ability checks.
Speaker 3: All right, you know, I'll just sleep with it. I'll
just sleep with it by my side.
Speaker 6: That's not what's your passive perception?
Speaker 3: By the way, past the perception is eleven.
Speaker 7: Slightly above average, so so you have a level of
awareness when you're not paying attention.
Speaker 3: So also, I'm an alpha, so technically I don't have
to sleep.
Speaker 7: No, you kind of go into a state of revelry.
So for like four hours you just kind of like
power down a little bit.
Speaker 8: As soon as everyone's doors close, Claudie's going to pop
out of her room and just patrol around. She wants
to look in the kitchens.
Speaker 7: Okay, not a problem. Uh, okay, cool, Okay. What is
everybody's past perception? So move is an eleven.
Speaker 4: Comparis is a sixteen.
Speaker 5: Let's say stand will for go the idea of moving
the bed and just try and get as good anice
sleep as possible. His passive perception is thirteen.
Speaker 7: Okay, So Cobert, you hear movement out in the well, Claudia,
are you being silent?
Speaker 6: If you are, give me a stealth roll? Are you
just walking around?
Speaker 8: She's pretty sneaky social she'll ok.
Speaker 3: Too.
Speaker 7: Okay, yep, you beat his pastive perception. So Cobert, you
are just you rest soundly?
Speaker 4: I do, since I'm obviously going to sleep standing up,
I will.
Speaker 6: You can lay down on your side. I've seen horses
do that.
Speaker 4: I I don't know what the viability of a centaur
like on its side would be.
Speaker 7: Well, put it this way, you're a medium creature. Technically,
this this version of centaurs are medium creatures, and that
is a ten foot bed.
Speaker 6: It is huge.
Speaker 4: If dre I'm sure that my horse character sleeps standing up.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm want to clarify something.
Speaker 3: We talk about this.
Speaker 5: If Drew's like galloping and he falls over, can he
cry himself under his own horse?
Speaker 6: Move the medium creatures?
Speaker 7: But technically yes, that's why you have to like kill
a horse because their legs, their bones don't heal properly.
Speaker 4: That's part of why I made him a heeler. Uh
fuck you all all you stay.
Speaker 9: Back season two, like we don't like fuck Kebez being injured,
coldinga get a crossby.
Speaker 5: Sorry, we've had a great adventure together, but.
Speaker 4: Steady, I like to what happened to one injured horse
and is immediately like I'm learning fucking healing magic.
Speaker 5: It's the episode after we released Joelstra back into the wild.
Speaker 4: That's just the sneak preview of the eventual wine down.
Speaker 3: I think seeing a bit of town full of glue factories.
Speaker 4: Oh, I was gonna say, I'm gonna sleep with my
rump pressed against the door.
Speaker 7: Okay, you sleep with your rump press against the door.
You're farting rump every So if for everybody here's a
muffled I tell them good berries wear off.
Speaker 4: Who's listening to a lot of bass?
Speaker 6: All right, Claudia, you are, you're.
Speaker 7: Doing a little You're just looking around and see what
you can find, right, yeah, yeah, gimme investigation Rolegations sixteen
pretty good? All right?
Speaker 6: Uh yeah you you definitely Okay, So you have a.
Speaker 7: Couple of brick ovens, brick ovens and like for you know,
various foods and whatnot. Loaves, pizzas, breads, et cetera. Come
over to this stove, and then it appears to be
very very well made, and it's very unique the way
it's been kind of cobbled together, and it puts off
a shitload of heat. The fact the closer you stand
to it, you're like, this could be dangerous. You know,
you find a few ram switches that this this thing
could like like, if turned up, it could melt you.
You were convinced of that.
Speaker 4: I feel like if narration could be foreshadowing.
Speaker 8: Uh, if someone were to throw a stick of dynamite
in the star.
Speaker 7: You know, sixteen investigations pretty good. So you come over here,
you find basically your wine. You're you find your find
You're fine, your wine, your beer, your waters, and all
these other things in various kegs. But shuffling around you
do find some uh, some paperwork. It seems to be
some letters, some handwritten letters.
Speaker 8: What do they say?
Speaker 6: Do you speak sylvan.
Speaker 8: I speak common Elvish.
Speaker 7: Thieves can't and you cannot know it is uh, it
just seems to be correspondence letters written in uh sylvan Ah.
Speaker 4: Fuck, I can't remember how much we have talked about.
Are there like everything I know you do.
Speaker 8: Is it enough to steal steal the papers without like
hugely being noticed.
Speaker 7: For well, give me a slide of give me a
slide of hand roll to see how well you take
things to make it look like nothing's.
Speaker 6: Been taken like hand twelve not your best work.
Speaker 3: Oh no, you might be noticed by the nobody. Who's
who's in this room with you?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 7: It's true, Well, it's it's it's less about it's like
how did the stack look? Because some people, some paranorm people,
tend to pay attention to how things work where when
they left them?
Speaker 3: So uh, but.
Speaker 6: Again, sleepy Jane left you alone in your own device,
and so fuck her.
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 8: Does does Claudia know that Cabert is like a polyglot?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 7: You've heard him speak Okay, so he did speak Sylvan
at the UH when he was talking to Yack of
all Trades back in the UH, the town of Galahad.
Speaker 6: He but you don't know if you've never heard the
language you know he speaks. You know, he speaks other
weird languages.
Speaker 4: I have talked to rats in front of veil too.
I forgot about that.
Speaker 6: Yes, you see, well, yeah, you've seen you see him
talk to animals.
Speaker 8: Crocodile noises. So she would like to take some letters
and go over to Cabert's room. And she knows that
everybody it's kind of like on edge, so she wants
to do, like a little shaven haircut knock on his
door very carefully, okay.
Speaker 4: Cobert will slowly open the door until he sees its Claudia,
and then he'll kind of open the door.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and she will hastily remove her mask because she
knows it looks a little creepy.
Speaker 7: But yeah, by removing your mask, I mean you peel
it all and all the dry blood on your face,
because well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a horrifying concept with opening the door to
a woman wearing a skin. Koala vace is good news.
Speaker 8: She peel it off like a fruit roll up.
Speaker 5: Don't worry, it's just me.
Speaker 8: So now she's wearing it on top of her head.
But she will also hand Cabert the notes or of
the papers and say, hey, can you read this?
Speaker 4: Of course, like any good tool guide, I can read
and speak every language.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, good, what's it say?
Speaker 4: Uh? I actually don't even need to use my item
because I just I speak Sylvan So Okay, what's to say?
Speaker 6: Uh, it is a letter.
Speaker 7: It seems to be a correspondence between uh several set
uh set of sisters. Uh, and they are speaking about, uh,
how do we keep the kids in power?
Speaker 6: How do we make sure we out the mayor?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 7: What do we do about the nightmares? I think that
if we can keep the portal open in East Cherry,
then we can maybe make them destroy themselves. And maybe
we can do this all over again in North Cherry
or South Cherry.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 7: Perhaps if if you keep the grove haunted, then we
can keep more kids coming in.
Speaker 6: And it's it's this.
Speaker 7: It seems to be this woven thing between several sets
of sisters really fucking over this town.
Speaker 5: Hey, quiet down with your reading some of us.
Speaker 7: Oh, and also like keep the flow of cocaine going.
Speaker 4: M sister sisters. There were never such devoted sisters to crime.
Thank you, Eily. I did not know if anybody was
going to get that joke.
Speaker 6: I'm laughing.
Speaker 4: I mean, but did your family make you watch white
Christmas every year?
Speaker 3: Too?
Speaker 8: It's a long story, maybe I'll tell it sometime. It's
about me taking gymnastics as a kid, and then the
owner having been a showbiz mom and making making her
daughters sing this every year with a tap dance number.
It was. It was hideous.
Speaker 3: That's rough.
Speaker 7: Yeah, all right, there's a banging at the door. Please
let me in, Please let me in, Please let me
in because there are children outside. You're giggles and cackles
of murdered children and one georcera banging at the door
to be let in.
Speaker 3: Do we really believe it's jorcer though.
Speaker 6: That's up to you.
Speaker 5: I've had this stream before.
Speaker 3: I kind of with you're not fool us again.
Speaker 8: Since Claudie is already awake and running around a little bit,
she'll go check out the door and see if she
can Is there like a people? Can she see him
at all?
Speaker 7: There is a people?
Speaker 10: Yes, I shall press my wonder against it.
Speaker 7: Okay, just so let you know Georger on the outside.
For the sake, I didn't have an extension of this
map outside in West Terry, there are kids in those
masks running around in packs looking for adults to string
up and kill.
Speaker 6: And you are stuck outside.
Speaker 8: What does Claudia have to roll to avoid getting a
dick in her eye?
Speaker 7: Unless he has got a pencil dick it's not going
through the eyehole.
Speaker 5: God, we haven't. We haven't really clarified this. I mean,
I imagine we will inevitably roll for Joyser's dick at
some point. It'll be like rolling up a whole new character.
Speaker 3: I guess the question is, does Clodia recognize Georcer by
his dick?
Speaker 8: I mean we saw him tugged around by it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like anyone who's traveled more than a
day with jorcer or knows what his dick looked like.
Speaker 10: I haven't worn clothes in like a week.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you haven't clothes. You have a bag of clothes.
Speaker 7: You're dragged had a bag of clothes, whether or not
you put them on as your business.
Speaker 3: There's a whole other world to look at even when
George is naked. I'm just gonna point that out, all right.
Speaker 4: I have to aim spells at or around.
Speaker 7: If you want to, like, give me a give me
a perception to check to see if you recognize this dick.
Because again, the lady that knows Sleepy James one owns
this thing is a dwarf.
Speaker 9: So you're is she has nicely squinting right now?
Speaker 8: Do I know at least it's not a child's stick.
Speaker 7: I'm not answering that.
Speaker 3: I'm really curious what you're rolling.
Speaker 4: This is gonna be giving.
Speaker 6: Not answering that. It feels like authorities.
Speaker 4: Never have been so glad not to be the d.
Speaker 10: Not a kid. That's good enough for me, George.
Speaker 4: I agree with that policy.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Georser, give me a favoring. Give me a stealth
roll to see how well you're hiding from the kids
who are maraulting to the town. See if you're ringing
up enough noise to see if they notice you.
Speaker 5: He's guy's cock out, he's not hiding that.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 7: Well, it's dark outside, it's nighttime. So three stuff rolls?
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 6: The third one was a natural twenty, which is good for.
Speaker 7: The first one's an eleven, So okay, that gives me
how did roll up three times? I do not know,
but I'm going to know. I'm going to roll the
see with see if the kids notice you. Let's see
a four they don't. You're good for now with our
perception of plus two. So a six, you're eleven meets
their six. They don't notice you yet.
Speaker 8: What's the passwords?
Speaker 5: Uh Stan alerted by the noise?
Speaker 6: Uh were you asleep?
Speaker 5: Uh I did. I probably probably hoped to be asleep.
Speaker 8: Maybe he is.
Speaker 7: Pressed, I mean unless unless you really were yelling. Get
compared who read quiet? Because you're an old man.
Speaker 5: Exactly work up by an aggressive eyeball movement by his inconsiderate.
Speaker 4: I will say that while Claudia is fiddling with jorser
at the doors for.
Speaker 3: You come out.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I mean the door was kind of open.
We were standing there reading stuff. I'm gonna go over
to the to the brains of the operation, God help
us and knock on Stan's door so to fill him
in on all the stuff.
Speaker 7: Because he's gonna shoot you with the uh he's got
ready to go.
Speaker 4: No, I I don't know that there's any situation where
I would try to knock on Moog's door. I guess
if we have an elf that needs immediately killed.
Speaker 5: Stan will open the door and go what's all this
loud reading and cock talk.
Speaker 6: That's tried to sleep?
Speaker 4: A tale, a tale of treachery and conspiracy and uh,
a lot of stuff. I don't really know what to
do with it. I'm, you know, not the thinking one.
I'm the running one. Oh here, and I'll just tell
him everything in the letters.
Speaker 7: Okay, so while you're downloading everything in the letters, this
children are going to get another look to see if
they can attack Georcer who's stuck on the outside.
Speaker 6: Don't read the lets.
Speaker 4: This is very interesting dealing with that who's screaming?
Speaker 7: So Grocer's outside, you know there's you. You can hear
these monkey like children because like you you know there's
some monkeys. Well because yes, because I described them before,
because they were like they were like jabbering monkeys away
the screeching.
Speaker 5: Why is covering her eyes?
Speaker 4: No idea?
Speaker 3: What do you want? What do you want to do?
I've been reading.
Speaker 8: Connie wants to ask for the password. What's the password?
Give me a password. We didn't establish this beforehand.
Speaker 6: Audiencer, she's asking you for a password.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, that's that's pretty much.
Speaker 8: Okay, I'll do it. She will open the door so
he can come in.
Speaker 6: How are you going to do that?
Speaker 4: It's locked from the outside. A from the.
Speaker 8: Outside, trying to pick pick the.
Speaker 5: Lock from the outside, Good luck, Maxwell, Well it was
it dead bolted from the outside.
Speaker 7: You did hear a slide junk and a click click,
So that guy's been dead bolted.
Speaker 6: And locked from the outside.
Speaker 5: All right, so we're talking to Padlock on the outside here.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well I could, in theory, Misty step through the peephole,
but I can't bring you, and I don't have any
way to open a door, so I'm not going to
do that.
Speaker 6: All right, stealth check.
Speaker 4: Maybe Jeorcer has a.
Speaker 10: Spell, perhaps, but first I have a spell.
Speaker 5: He says really loudly, like maybe Jouniser has a spell.
Speaker 7: He's like, maybe I did, and A sixteen Okay you Okay.
What I'm gonna do is we're going to go into
semi official turnal because you have I have been. They
are aware of your president.
Speaker 6: Depending where they're at in the town you have. Let's see,
let's let's get me. You give me, let me roll
a d ten.
Speaker 7: See how many rounds you have until they come up
onto you. Nine rounds, so let's just less than a minute.
So round one, Georgier, you're outside, Claudia, you're here there, Caber,
So first round?
Speaker 6: What does everybody want to do?
Speaker 4: Well, I was gonna keep going over the letters with you.
Speaker 6: Fantastic what are you doing?
Speaker 5: Big stands? Probably what that was guying on by now
people just go to the door and say, joger, how
much time do I have to talk you for picking
a look?
Speaker 8: Okay, Claudia, Claudia is gonna be like let us out,
and Georgia will be like let me.
Speaker 7: In, and georser, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 10: I would like to uh use a minor illusion spell
and make myself look like a giant Brussels sprung.
Speaker 6: Okay, kids do hate Brussels spot spots?
Speaker 7: Yeah, too bad, like only like the minor version because
of how big is a minor illusion spell?
Speaker 3: Becau.
Speaker 6: I don't think you can do your whole body.
Speaker 5: I think we worked out actually that if he sits
down in a squatting position, it's.
Speaker 3: Five foot two.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it had to be squatting, didn't they.
Speaker 7: Okay, Okay, I'm hunched down to become a five foot
Brussels sprout.
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't, I don't.
Speaker 10: I could be a Brussels sprout with my head sticking out.
That's fine, Yeah, that's fine because.
Speaker 5: The head children definitely done one net so.
Speaker 7: Green task of the head. Okay, that is the end
of the first round. Round two, Carbert, what do you
want to do?
Speaker 3: A moog?
Speaker 6: Are you waking up in any of this.
Speaker 3: I mean, I've been doing my meditating. Do I hear it?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 7: Your pass perception of eleven de Ba's based on how
give me a perception check nineteen.
Speaker 6: I guess yes, you hear you hear this?
Speaker 7: It breaks you out of your reverie.
Speaker 4: I guess Cobert can just ask through the door chose
do you know what the spell misty step? As a
practitioner myself, I can see how it would easily allow
you to pass through this obstacle.
Speaker 10: I've got a cover.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, stand andy olivery, you're next?
Speaker 5: Sure I can't talk you through picking up? It's pretty easy.
Speaker 3: Should I need to take it?
Speaker 5: Maybe like free Alice?
Speaker 3: Depending on the got a cover.
Speaker 8: Claudia thinks everything's fine, so she can walk away from
the door.
Speaker 10: Speak you someone with faith. Yeah, I'm gonna use that,
mister step.
Speaker 7: You hear to the people, and you see Claudia take
a step back after you take your dick out of
the way, and you, Missy step through the door.
Speaker 3: Hello.
Speaker 7: Cap For the sake of this narrative, Deorser, you were
pulled to what you were teleported away by Father Brandon,
who informed you guys are gonna be a very lengthy
talk in the near future about uh destroying the gem
of Mark fu. It doesn't really bother him because that
was your wife steal. So that's but the contract still stands.
She still owe her money. She just no longer has
a way to blow up your dick. But he is
going to uphold his end of the bargain. So if
you still don't pay your money monthly and send back
intelligence as described things, there will be problems.
Speaker 3: Did I have to blow them?
Speaker 6: No? Okay, I mean you offered, but he says, no,
thank you.
Speaker 3: I didn't know.
Speaker 10: Hey, don't don't put words in my mouth.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but dix it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Well you're the one that brought it up, So
I figured maybe, like, do I gotta blow you now?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 5: Joss right, glad to have you back. Are we about
to be murdered by an onslaught of feral children?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 10: No, Uh, that's take care of the hip giant Brussels
prous genius.
Speaker 7: Well that spell dropped once you, missy step tune, so well,
necessarily if you're if it's a if it's a concentration
spell thing, you right now still are a giant Brussels sprout.
Speaker 3: Got it?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not a transmorrification or anything. I mean, that's insane.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna look around for any heavy furniture that maybe
we could prop it into the door.
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna help you with that.
Speaker 6: Say there stands bed.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 7: There are, of course tables and chairs to the south
of you, bookshelves and wine bottles and casks, and a
very hot stove, and you know, many things.
Speaker 4: So I'll drag one of one or two of the
tables over in front of the door.
Speaker 7: All right, give me a give me a strength roll.
I mean, you have a dress, you have a carry speed,
don't you? Yeah, carry capacity thin? Because you're yes, then
you're fine. You prop a couple of tables up in
front of the door.
Speaker 5: I will say to Claudia, Claudia, see if you can
find another exit out of this place. We might need
to leave in a hurry, or at least stop murderous
children coming in at a back door.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's let's make sure we're fully locked in. Also,
should we be concerned that the proprietor of this inn
had all this incriminating documentation.
Speaker 5: That's a question for another time. I'm sure Sleepy Jane
wouldn't betray us to Actually I known her for about
twelve seconds. She makes a mean stake. But will she
leave us to be murdered by federal children?
Speaker 3: Donna?
Speaker 5: Maybe I should have slept with her after all.
Speaker 8: Claudia will walk around and I'm assuming that nobody's been
in the big bedroom, so she should be her.
Speaker 7: We'll look in here, investigation check please, Okay, in fact,
everybody who wants to help investigate this, this whole in
bar Yeah.
Speaker 5: Okay, Stan will be case in a joint folk.
Speaker 4: All right, So fourteen from cabert front.
Speaker 8: Claudia here.
Speaker 6: Both of you can tell there's only one way in
and out.
Speaker 7: Jorcers as well.
Speaker 6: Everyone. Grocer's helping out now that he's seen the outside
and the inside, and stand as a seven team.
Speaker 7: Hello and move give a perception of a nineteen Oh
that was from a four?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 6: Yeah, this place has no out. There is only one
way in, one way out, and there are no windows.
Speaker 5: What about the giant toilet in the giant room?
Speaker 7: Uh, that's covered, dude. The legally distinct turtles have la
claimed No. Uh, these are basically they're less about. Once
you investigate, you realize these aren't really There's no open flow.
These are just kind of like outhouses that have to
be like pressI digitated or covered with dirt or burned
from time to time. That's why there's so much potpourri
in these rooms because uh yeah, it's it's just a
hole in the ground.
Speaker 5: Is the hole in the ground deep enough that if we say, hypothetically,
wanted to overload that boiler and blow this place up,
we might be protected from it.
Speaker 7: Uh one way to find out it's about flat bit.
Speaker 4: I mean right now we're in a well defended building
with a single entrance to hold back. So yeah, now
I will.
Speaker 7: Remind everybody just for the sake of this narrative they
tell you like at night times when the kids end
to come out and during the day they scatter, so
survive the night.
Speaker 6: Uh let me see, I will say this.
Speaker 7: The minute has passed and there is a pounding of
the door, and he's like, let us in let it
and they're but these kids don't seem to be strong
enough to break the door or chain, but they are
they are trying. Let me see, can any of these kids,
Uh let me see, give me a little Let.
Speaker 6: Me give me a couple of rolls.
Speaker 7: Here one they'll try with a couple of some brute
force to see what happens. No, no, and no.
Speaker 6: Now they'll try to get the lock. No, still know
and no.
Speaker 3: Okay, So Moog is tired of the pounding and stuff.
He will trudge out of the room, grumbling to himself,
walk up to the door, shoved Georgia right of the way,
put his crossbow up to the up to the like
you know, the peep hole, and just fire it.
Speaker 6: Fantastic, give me the tack roll.
Speaker 3: Everyone shut up, move trying to a sleep.
Speaker 7: Uh fourteen actually hits holy shit? Uh yeah you heard
another kid?
Speaker 6: Actually you hearken the trick timmy food.
Speaker 7: And he looked at the people and there's a there's
a child laying on his back. Arrow in his chest
because it's a it's a it's a dwarf high thing,
so yeah, it's in his stomach.
Speaker 6: Well no, it's a kid, so yeah, chest is about right.
And he is laying there, bleeding out, and.
Speaker 7: His mask slowly evaporates off his face while his friends
look a gasp. One of them is peering back through
because only one at a time, and he's going to
shoot his wand of magic missiles directly at you, and
it's an auto hit.
Speaker 3: That's that's good because my reaction is the cash shield.
Speaker 6: That's well, it's it doesn't happen. It's an auto hit.
Speaker 3: Shield shield protects against magic missiles.
Speaker 4: Yeah, shields specifically blocks magic.
Speaker 7: Then great, so the kid one of the kid expenses,
doesn't matter how much damage it happens. You cashie, and
you are fine.
Speaker 3: Next time. Don't ruin moves, Beauty rest and the trudge
back to my room.
Speaker 7: Do you close the little like little hole like that
covers the flap of the okay, I just check it.
You know, there is like a peep whole flap, so
you can close that. Okay, all right, So there's a
dead child outside, angry kids who are now doing everything
they can to break in. But they again their children,
so they don't seem to have the ability to break
chains or pick locks. They kind of rely on their
magic missiles and their fists and their taunts now and
because they also had the misty stepp ability to be
but they've got to see where they're going, and you
close the thing. They are trying to push into the
door to create enough of a gap, But you guys,
put blockade yeah, you were fine for now.
Speaker 3: Google, Look at the rest of the party. Was that
so hard?
Speaker 4: Pick a bear might wild shape into an ape and
uh brag his own bed over to help further blockade
that door.
Speaker 7: That is a very large bag coming through a narrow door.
So you have to play the uh the pivot game.
Speaker 3: Actually, kaber, what about these these these whiskey, these like
drink kegs, because here if you if you propped up
against the door and then they start to break in,
we can always like you know, hit them with magical
fire kaboom. All right.
Speaker 4: Also, I think I like the idea of them being
further away from the hearth.
Speaker 7: So you've already got a couple of tables there. Now
you're taking the whiskey and the beer kegs and.
Speaker 4: You'll just load them in between the tables themselves, kind
of reinforcing and adding heft and also an exploding oreo
cream center.
Speaker 5: Everyone knows kids can't handle their booze.
Speaker 4: And then I guess rest, wait, we should probably take
shifts watching, right, Yes, well.
Speaker 8: You can do as you see fit cladic can watch
no problem.
Speaker 5: Well I'm going back to bed, and that was going
to read anything do it quietly.
Speaker 3: For much better knowing that the creepy Koala massacring woman
is uh watching over.
Speaker 10: Oh, mister Judge, definitely sleeping with my rubbed, the.
Speaker 7: Doorga, lavender, vanilla cinnamon, the clatters in the musk.
Speaker 6: What was the fifth sense? I said? It was, I
forget the big bed.
Speaker 7: Ah, he doesn't Rosemary and thyme, something like, let's just
go with that sage or something so georgier. You have
one giant bed to yourself if you want it, or
you can crawl into with Standanda Liver.
Speaker 6: You're a life partner.
Speaker 5: I have a cool making that official arrangement.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: Let's not put a label on this.
Speaker 6: I can the shippers out there are loving this.
Speaker 7: Uh standard Jersey Liver.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I forgot that's discussion.
Speaker 6: It's a good doesn't it?
Speaker 3: Like your.
Speaker 10: I will, I will crawl into my own bed and
uh okay, if anyone wants to join me, that's their business,
all right.
Speaker 5: Well look at you, miss independence.
Speaker 7: All right? Uh the Claudia give me perception checks multiply,
like we'll do one for every couple of hours.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I only need to meditate for four hours. After that,
I'll go and help her.
Speaker 7: Uh, she's about the same. Perception thirteen kids are still
trying to get in, but nothing happens. Trying to get in,
nothing happens. Move you come out after four hours of
rest and you can book me.
Speaker 6: Perception checks great. As dawn is approaching, the kids give
up and leave.
Speaker 8: You just lock them in your room. Their rooms go.
Speaker 3: Crossbow.
Speaker 7: All right. Now for the people that who actually sleep jeoris,
who are ca bet and stand? I belink you all
give me wisdom saving throws?
Speaker 8: Mm.
Speaker 5: Oh goodness, interesting to see.
Speaker 3: What is go wisdom?
Speaker 4: Wisdom saving through all right?
Speaker 5: I got plus one on wisdom, so that's a twincy.
Speaker 6: Okay, you are fine.
Speaker 3: I go to plust one twenty two?
Speaker 4: Could I get the twenty two the ship?
Speaker 6: You are totally fine? Jorceerer fourteen? All right, that is
a fair Oh shucks.
Speaker 7: So uh for my edification, what is Jorceerer's biggest nightmare?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 10: God in heaven, I wasn't prepared for this, hud, come
take a seat.
Speaker 3: Uh, cump quotsy, could you elaborate?
Speaker 4: Please don't do it. Don't do it.
Speaker 3: It's a trap.
Speaker 10: I was raised by howler monkeys and my adoptive siblings.
Used to help me with cumquats.
Speaker 6: This is a nightmare? Or is this a true thing?
Jesus Christ?
Speaker 3: All right, what do you want? Yes, my biggest fear.
Speaker 7: Okay, so your biggest fear is that you were raised
by howler monkeys.
Speaker 3: No, that was true. Oh wow, I'm I'm afraid of.
Speaker 6: That's not the backstory you set me a long time ago.
So okay.
Speaker 10: Uh, oh, yes, that's right. My father beat me with
an hour glass. I'm afraid of time. Yeah, cool, time
and cum quarts.
Speaker 5: This is the name of the episode.
Speaker 7: But putting this creature on the map just so you
all can see it, but it's not actually here.
Speaker 10: Do you have a quat monster? Ready?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 7: So in your dream, uh, your father is once again
beating you with time, and the time turns to an
hourglass and the hour goss turns to cum quats and
you are now running through a field of time and
coume quats as your father chases you. But as you
look across this field, you see this creature, this this
blueskin haglike creature. She's or it seems like she's like weaving,
like like she's like like weaving her hands around, almost
like a conductor, as you could tell that she is
the source of this nightmare, and she's drawing strength from
your uh, from your fears of your dreams.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, all.
Speaker 5: Right, so that and the rest of us here Joecera
yelling about time and come quotes because if I can,
I want to ignore it.
Speaker 4: He just obliveated. He cuts off before the quat part.
Speaker 7: Yeah, just.
Speaker 6: Father time, come time to come father.
Speaker 10: Yes, you guys, yeah, really mature.
Speaker 7: Yes, mister dick hole dick through the people hole. Yes,
if anything to my friends. So the next morning, you
wake up, Jorce, you did not get a full night's rest.
You are at you have one level of exhaustion, which
means you have disadvantages on ability checks.
Speaker 10: That's all right, I don't have any bill.
Speaker 6: You feel very tired.
Speaker 7: Well this is true, all right, So uh, how's every
refeeling this one? We know George was feeling combars Dand
you guys wake up just fine. You come outside, the
sun is shining, and you hear a banging of the
door from hey, move, open the goddamn door.
Speaker 5: We didn't love the door.
Speaker 6: No, I locked it, but I can't seem to open it.
It opens from the inside. Locks from the outside.
Speaker 3: We'll try dragging stuff away.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, well we'll move things out. Sorry, the kids
were really creepy.
Speaker 5: So that will give that sofa. You know, when you're
helping someone move something but you're not really.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you just got your hands on it. You're like, oh,
this is yeah. Yeah, it's like like when you're carrying
a when you're carrying the casket at a funeral, but
you don't really want to be there.
Speaker 4: You're just kind of like, oh, give me fix some
interesting times for his petty.
Speaker 6: I didn't like them much to begin with. The other
guys they look strong.
Speaker 7: You know, I'm kind of tired, so you know, anyway,
all right, so you guys move all that ship. You
guys moved that ship away, and sleepy Jane comes in. Uh,
you all made it good, you guys. Blow didn't blow.
My place looks good and it looks fine.
Speaker 5: All right, now we can sit it. There's a plan, bh, let.
Speaker 6: Me guess hide in the toilet.
Speaker 10: Blow blows other one.
Speaker 7: Uh, she stepped over the corpse. You know, she doesn't
seem to care at all. That's like this is almost
like commonplace. And there's some of the crying parents out
there who found Timmy and they're taking him away.
Speaker 3: Well, pretty sure he'd die of heart attack.
Speaker 5: Definitely attacked.
Speaker 4: They got closure.
Speaker 3: You're welcome.
Speaker 8: I'm sorry you'll have to make another one.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Oh we should we should explain to uh to sheriff
that he was alive when we found him, so we
should be paid. There's in my bed.
Speaker 5: Okay, everybody stopped talking. It's breakfast time.
Speaker 7: So over the course of the next bit, Sleepy Jane
whips up a wonderful thing of fresh eggs, orange juice,
some bacon, some country ham, and some uh some grits
and serves you all a wonderful, hearty breakfast before you
eventually have to set out for the ruins of East
Cherry Unless does anyone have any questions for Sleepy Jane
before we sign off for this particular episode, because a
nice breakfast is a good place you survived the night
you killed a kid.
Speaker 4: You move some furniture, let's be specific here, mood we.
Speaker 6: No, it's a wee thing you got.
Speaker 3: I haven't even moved furniture.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel a little targeted by party actions.
Speaker 7: Well, unfortunately it was all recorded because you guys gave
the name and your pins. So now it's all you
can't pass this one off on totally in a party
this time.
Speaker 4: So hey, you haven't seen us try yet.
Speaker 7: I've seen some shit man, all right, I'm telling us
what'll become bullshit givvy.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 7: So unless anybody in particular game wise they want to do,
unless we maybe we could pick up next time after
you a hearty meal before you all set off, does
any everything to say to our friends, our family and
our loved ones out there, or just some good old
fashioned assholes who we know hate listens to the show.
Speaker 4: Sure, own it to the enemies.
Speaker 3: Don't don't ruin moves, beauty sleep.
Speaker 7: And don't try to move a bat big bed when
you have a bad back. And that's a word of
wisdom for us. So on behalf of rick quality. Emily Catham,
Drew Hayes, Steve Weatherill and Robert Bevan. I'm Mk Gibson.
Speaker 6: We've been the dicey basards and you've been great.
Speaker 7: We'll see you all next time.
Speaker 3: Bye, Briddy bye.
Speaker 10: I was raised by howler monkeys and uh my adoptive
siblings used to pelp me with cumpclots.