Speaker 1: Hi everyone, Sony from Ack the Movies. Here today we're
talking about the most busty, podacious motor boating remake of
all time, Piranha three D. Hello, Captain Bovies for the
first time.
Speaker 2: Are we ly?
Speaker 1: We are? Everything is recording. Why do you ask? I'm
such a professional. I never forget to hit record. You know,
how are you doing?
Speaker 2: I'm so so good. I had a great time being
inflicted with this film.
Speaker 1: That's one way to describe it. It's one way to
describe it.
Speaker 2: Jumped right out grabbed me.
Speaker 1: Well, welcome back to the show. I haven't seen you
since you yelled at Gill and Joey c for not
being trekkies or trekkers.
Speaker 2: No, I'm still mad at them, by the way, they
just wow.
Speaker 1: Well look uh. Maybe they'll make up for it if
they watch season two of Starfleet Academy, which will be
the last season of Starfleet Academy.
Speaker 2: There's going to be a season two.
Speaker 1: I think they shot I do. I think they do
that thing now where they shoot enough further to be
two seasons. I think they like split seasons and half.
But yeah, there is gonna be a second season. But
that's it. It's done. Star Trek. There's no Star Trek
in development currently. We did it, We finally killed it.
It could go away, went away for many years. It
could come back. No, Piranha is right for a comeback.
It should come back. Yes. Uh. Pirana three D a
remake of Joe Dante's Pirana. Of course, you know who
Joe Dante is. Can you list two of his movies?
Speaker 2: Gremlins and Gremlins two?
Speaker 1: There you Go and the Howling and Howling. I'm so
glad you knew those off the top of your head.
It's almost as if I told you the first time
we record famous schlocky Jawl's cash Grab, to the point
it opened up with a person playing a Jaw's computer game.
They were very open about it. And Joe Dante's friends
with Steven Spielberg. I think they're all tight together. But yeah,
it was very It was very famous. It's become a
cult classic. There were many sequels, the second one, Piranatu.
The spawning was that this. I really wish you could
have seen a reaction. The first time was the first
feature film by James Cameron. Wow, she's shocked because she's
hearing this for the first goddamn time.
Speaker 2: No, I was genuinely shocked. Kate, Wait, why is it
James Cameron though.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me explain it again. Thank you for that
set up. James Cameron was hired by some Italian production
who was making it, and then they fired him two
weeks in. People don't know that James Cameron was like
a big effects guy before he became a director.
Speaker 2: Like that makes sense.
Speaker 1: He did you ever see the original Scape from New York? Yeah,
he did all the matte paintings of like York and everything,
so you can find a lot of his like work
in like older films, And this was, like Pirana two
was gonna be his claim to fame, his first feature.
So those fucking guidos fired him because they wanted to
have a non Italian's name on it, because I guess,
in like the seventies and eighties, a lot of like
American and whatnot distributors they were like, hey, Guidos, your
movies kind of sucked. And people see a bunch of
fucking Leonettes, Mozzarellas or whatever, They're not gonna watch this movie.
And I think they caught on that directors were using
fake names, so they got like a real non Italian director,
so they kept his name on it and he legally
couldn't do anything, and then they fired him and they
shot the movie without him. But he has since said
in a commentary track that he thinks it's the greatest
flying Piranha movie ever made. I don't know if there's
any more, so he might technically be right, but yeah,
James Kmer considers Terminator his first feature film prob even
though unfortunately his name is on that one. There might
have been a remake in nineteen ninety four at Milikuns.
That knowledge is in my head. I don't know if
it's wrong, but why else would it be in my head?
Never seen it? Okay, never seen it, and it's been
a million year since I seen the original Prana. I
did not rewatch it for this because this has very
little to do with that film. This one is directed
by Alexander Aja, who did High Tension. Have you ever
seen High Tension?
Speaker 2: Yes? Is that the correct answer? Yes?
Speaker 1: I think that was your answer last time. And he
did one of the best horror remakes of all time,
The Hills Have Eyes. He made a better film than
Wes Craven, which is we've covered all the Wes Craven remakes.
That's very hard to do. They're usually the worst things
you'll ever well, actually know. Just one is the worst
thing you've ever seen. Nightmare and Elm Street. Do you
ever see the twenty ten Nightmare and Elm Street.
Speaker 2: I've broken up with a guy because the movie was bad,
So just keep that in mind.
Speaker 1: Everybody pulls the review. Tell me more. What was the movie?
Speaker 2: Shanghai Nights, not even Shanghai Noon, the sequel. Yeah, I
hadn't even seen the first one, so I didn't. But
we sat there Shanghai Nights, and I was like, we've
been together for two years, it's done come out.
Speaker 1: I think that's on you. You didn't see the first one.
You didn't know the rich Shanghai Noon, Loren, now you
should rewatch the second. You'd be like, I'll get it now,
and you're gonna be like, I'm sorry, I have to
get a divorce call that guy. I was wrong.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: He's there with like his five kids, like lately no, no,
but I get I didn't know. I wasn't there to
see their friendship blossom, and I couldn't get invested in
their story. In England noted so funny I'm assuming other
things happened and that was just the straw that broke
the cattle's back.
Speaker 2: I was just in such a bad mood that there
is no coming back from it. I was so annoyed
that I had wasted those two hours.
Speaker 1: Man, I don't have my phone is over there charge
and I want to see what else was in theaters
when Shanghai Knew Our Nights came out. Could there have
been like one other movie could have altered the course
of your life.
Speaker 2: You're welcome.
Speaker 1: You realize now we're gonna have to do Shanghai.
Speaker 2: You.
Speaker 1: Oh, I will do Noon with whoever but me, You
and Manny. We need a person from foggy London town.
We'll do Shanghai Knights together.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine watching Jackie Chan and was an Owen
Wilson struggling to communicate, and you're like, this fucking relationship
was done. I watched Brono three D with a girl
and it didn't last much longer after that, But that
was for all the reasons. I forget where I was there.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Speaker 1: I totally Alexander Raja really good director from what I've seen.
I've liked most of his movies. He did a movie
called Mirrors with Kei Keith Sutherland, which I never saw,
but I saw the direct I've seen one scene in
the direct to video sequel because Christy Carlson Romano was
topless in it. Uh, I've seen that seen a million times.
I don't know what any of the movies are about,
and watch them in their entirety. My favorite thing is
she did the whole thing. She's like, I regret doing
that newity scene. I have daughters down, what are they
gonna say? And I'm just I'm watching the video. I'm like,
no one knows that movie exists. You just brought so
much attention to it. No one if they would have
to google you for a while to find out that
movie exists. Your kids are only dweeves like me. You
had a crush on her, And even Stevens, who were
aware of that fact, know about that movie. Even Stevens
girls topless. Hold on, I gotta look up that scene.
What about the whole movie? We're gonna watch the whole
movie anyway. Yeah, he directed. He wanted the movie to
be more serious. He didn't like the early scripts that
were more comedic, and yeah, it ended up being comedic.
So now I need to know this went through a
bunch of rewrites. It actually didn't start off as a
Piranha remake. I think the ones I think they wanted
it to be a Piranha remake, but then they were like,
let's just call it killer Fish and unless we can't
get it. And the writer who did it was the
guy who did the last three Saw films, Jigsaws, Spiral
which sucked, and Saw X. You see Saw X. Sorry No,
it's a supposed to be between Saw one and two, Okay,
but twenty years have gone by.
Speaker 2: This would also require me to have seen Saw one.
Speaker 1: Okay, not no, you know what. No, it'll be a
fun thing. Watch Saw one okay, and then two? Oh
no no, then X and then two, and then you'll
be like, wow, that's weird. Those two actors aged one
years and then by the time the second one comes,
they've d aged twenty. Hmmm, Like he is so fucking
old in X and she's got a lot of work
done on her face. It's just like, yeah, then you
watch too, and then they're back to two thousand and
two and you're like, no, that doesn't make any fucking
sense anyway. They had a great cinematographer for this movie,
John Harley and Edti, who's been a cinematographer many great
movies his directing careers. I'm doing it again. Isn't that great?
Because his first movie.
Speaker 2: Was I've already forgotten.
Speaker 1: I'm saying Mortal Kombat Annihilation, Sean.
Speaker 2: I should have known that one. Hey we talked. I was, hey,
you did a thing, and I did a thing in
that thing.
Speaker 1: I reviewed the original script for Mortal Kombat Annihilation, and
following that movie's tradition, I fired everyone who did voice
acting for the first video, much like that movie. Fired
all the cast members of the first one except for two,
and I got all new people to do their voices.
So you replace Kaylee as Sonya Blade and I Mortal
Combat Annihilation video.
Speaker 2: I nailed it.
Speaker 1: You did it. You did his soul is Mine No,
and you record it very professionally, Yes, on a DGI mike,
But you did it. You said you went into a
closet or something.
Speaker 2: Well, so you were like, hey, can I get that
voiceover from you? And I was like all right, And
I'm literally running down the docks because I had just
finished like a twenty hour delivery and I'm running into
somebody's office and then I go into their closet and
shut the door, and I'm like muffled around coats just
so I can get a decent audio take. It came
down pretty good.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, Manny muskets faced away from his mic in the
most echoey room possible.
Speaker 2: Thanks Manny, the world's being invaded by Shao Khan.
Speaker 1: Happy now show con what the hell comes you use that?
I sweared of guy? He was walking around in one
of them. Anyway, he's the cinema toographer here. Produced by
the Weinsteins. I'm not gonna do my wine Stcene ran again,
produced by the Weinsteins. Dimension films came out in twenty ten,
the height of the three D boom, which apparently you
were on a boat in the Mediterranean you somehow missed
six or seven six or seven years of three D
films being shoved down our throats.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes I did. I was a way at tea.
Speaker 1: Sorry, and I'm not going to tell the story again,
but I was getting sick of three D films around
this time. Twenty ten was like the big year of
three I think Clash of the Titans was my breaking point.
I'm like, no, I'm not doing this again. Because there
was a lot of post conversion three D films they
weren't shot in three D. This one wasn't shot in
three D, but they knew it was going to be
three D, so it actually looks not great, but it
looks fine. It looks fine. You could tell they were
making a three D movie even if they weren't using
three D rigs, whereas other movies are like, why is
this three D? That makes no sense? So yeah, I
did very well, made a shit ton of money. Sequel
did not. I guess. I guess people who saw this
one and we're like, we don't really need a sequel.
But I missed out on it just wasn't my thing.
Just wasn't my thing. But then I got real into
the podcast How Did This Get Made? Starring Paul Sheer,
who delays a character in this film, and he kept
bringing up because I think the second one was coming out,
and he kept bringing up this movie, and I'm just like,
Paul Sheer's funny at the time. Paul Sheer was funny,
It's not funny anymore. At the time. How Did This
Get Made? Was one of the best podcasts. Ever, it's
not anymore. All their old episodes are behind a paywall.
Do you know that? Do you know their old episodes
are behind the paywall?
Speaker 2: I didn't know that? Is it?
Speaker 1: Because they all got involved in a lot of political stuff,
and there's episodes where Pete Holmes makes fun of Asian
eyewitnesses and a movie and says they're the worst eye witness.
Do you think that's why they put their old episodes
behind a paywall?
Speaker 2: No, surely no.
Speaker 1: I looked at it the other few years back. I
wanted to listen to a few old episodes, like, oh, oh,
I guess those episodes. I guess those jokes did it
age very well? But there's still money to be made there,
so they hit all their episodes by buying Stitcher premium,
like the one's buying that shit anyway. The one night
I was like, all right, I'm gonna watch Piranha three D.
And I had a lady over who I was seeing
at the time, like, let's watch Piranha three D. And
there is a moment in this film where I went, oh,
my god, it's that person, and then the girl went
who is that? And I went, oh, no, I have
to explain who this person is. And many fans of
the channel already know who I'm talking about, but wait
for her introduction here. It's very awkward conversation. Uh. Yeah,
and I actually enjoyed the movie when I saw it. Yes,
I was excited to rewatch it. And you're this the
first time you've ever seen it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did separate it out. So there was a
point at which I was watching it and I'm thinking
to myself, Gosh, there's an awful lot of boobs here.
Is Tony just tricking me into watching porn what's happening here?
Speaker 1: There's no sess in it though, that's your.
Speaker 2: Podcast changed that much that now you're just like duping
women into watching pornography. But instead I paused it because
I had to do some other stuff, and then I
came back to it and all of a sudden it
became this great movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the horror aspect takes a while to kick in. Well,
it's sprinkled throughout the film, and then it finally kicks
in the third act and it goes nuts.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: But yeah, let's let's talk about one of the greatest
filmies ever made, Pirana three D. It opens up at
a Mesolithic dig site from the Mesolithic era. And remember
how I said the original Prana was a jaw's cash
grab opens up on Richard Dreyfus singing show Me the
Way to Go Home on his little boat, wearing basically
the Hooper Alpha.
Speaker 2: It was perfect, it was absolute. I was sitting there going.
Speaker 1: I did I didn't give your heads up on that one.
That was that shocked me. When I first heard, I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, wait, I was on board for everything, but from
that moment on, I was like, I'm here, I'm here
for this. Let's go.
Speaker 1: He apparently agreed to do this, and he donated all
the money he made to charity. Oh, I just thought
it'd be funny to do it. Yeah, he drops his
beer bottle. This is Lake Victoria.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, that's what they called it.
Speaker 1: But yes, I think they shot in Canada and Arizona
and whatnot. But yeah, he drops his beer bottle, which
we follow because it's three D. Obviously I didn't watch
this in three D all the way down and uh
are we led to believe that this beer bottle hitting
the ground is what it was the final thing that
made the earthquake? Or was that just a coincidence.
Speaker 2: I mean I was bracing myself for them, saying like, oh,
it's all the pollution that people.
Speaker 1: Are I was waiting for that to be. I was
waiting for them to be like Mutat and I forg
got that they came from a cave underground. But yeah,
there's an earthquake and there's a rift underneath and it
opens up this cavern. It's a lake within a lake,
and I like that whirlpool effects.
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought that was so cool looking.
Speaker 1: Was like aha and Unleasha is a bunch of piranha,
but like scary giant piranha, bigger than normal parana. Yes,
I think the whole thing piranha is like over exaggerated.
Yeah yeah, I mean people think they do what they
do in movies, but it's like apparently there was like
one famous incident where they did it, but like they
left out that, Like the pranhas were like starves, that's
why they went as crazy as they did.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought, Piranha, We're gonna be a bigger thing in
my life growing.
Speaker 2: Up like quicksand yeah, quicksand.
Speaker 1: And then I was just like, Oh, they don't live
anywhere near me. Why was I so scared.
Speaker 2: Pan They're really hard to keep alive in a tank too.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean Christopherlloyd does a good job in
this one. But yeah, the Piranha come and they kill
poor Richard Dreyfus.
Speaker 2: No more Richard. Oh they kill him in a mess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they like rip both of his. The prana are weird.
They don't really eat people whole, like that's what the
iconic Piranha thing is. They chew you down to the bone,
but then I guess they realize they wouldn't be gory enough,
so then the pranas just nibble on you for a
while and then leave you alone. In this movie, very bizarre.
Oh yeah, the hand coming out was so cool with
his his finger bowl. That was cool. That was cool.
Great opening, great opening. I think it rivals the opening
of Jawels with the girl and hanging on the buoy.
I'm like, nope, you need Richard Dreyfus earlier in that movie.
But yeah, he's dead. Uh. It's spring break boom. Everyone
is partying at the lake in just like one area
of the lake, but they keep saying they part already
all over the lake, but we only ever really see
them in one area.
Speaker 2: Well, That's easily explained though, because most lakes only have
like a few launchable areas and places that you can
actually raft up to. Yeah, so you're always gonna sort
of congregate.
Speaker 1: Boats and clumps, gotchat.
Speaker 2: Especially if there's a big stage that's floating out there.
Speaker 1: That was and you knew something was gonna happen with that,
Like everything you're seeing here, you're like, oh, there's so
many of these people are gonna die. So yeah, we
get to meet our sheriff, July forrest Or played by
Elizabeth Shoe. Mm hmmm, I think it was was this
the same year. It was a few years before she
was in Hamlet two where she played herself. Do you
see Hamlet two?
Speaker 2: No? Oh?
Speaker 1: Hamlet two is great?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, you know what that one is?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Oh. It's like a failed actor who's like a high
school drama teacher. He's like going through like a crisis
because he never made it as an actor, and he
decides to write a sequel to Hamlet two. It was
a sequel to Hamlet, so he makes his own play
and it's very controversy, but Elizabeth Shoe plays herself in it,
and she's like quit acting and he motivates her to
come back to acting. It's really good. She's milth mode
in this.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah time.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's to the point where the young frat kid. Yeah,
she made sure to like show him off as much
as she could without whipping them out. But I love
that the frat guy is like getting arrested. He was
like he crashed into something.
Speaker 2: I think yeah, he was, you know, nudged a fire
hydrant or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And she knows that he's drunk, and she's being
very lenient with him. She's like, all right, how about
you walk away. He's like, how about you take me home?
And he's like touching her uniform and he gets himself
into way more trouble than he has to be, so
he gets arrested.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, what a beautiful way to show that
she's not an asshole cop. Yeah, but let's make sure
that you know, she's got a line you're not gonna cross.
And then she's a bad.
Speaker 1: Ass yep, yep. And then we get to meet her son, Chake,
who runs into his old friend Kell.
Speaker 2: Yes, hang on, this is actually my very first instance
of a Chekhov's taser. So she busts out the taser. Yeah,
and I know it's coming for the rest of the movie.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know it's not a good payoff. When
I finally came, I thought I was gonna have a
way cooler payoff.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's fair.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So Jake meets up with his friend Kelly, who
he hasn't seen. I guess she went away to school
or something. She's back for spring break, but she's dating Todd,
and he's a jerk because he said he's a really
good DJ. He's a good DJ, and he can get
her backstage passes or so.
Speaker 2: He says, hold on, you could just float behind the stage,
and I just.
Speaker 1: Feel like something, Oh, I also have those classes. I
just look the case, right, I just looked at your
glasses like I forgot she left one here. So we're cool. Yeah,
I literally.
Speaker 2: I lose like ten to the water every year.
Speaker 1: Anyway, he's excited to see her again, but he's mad
that she's with Todd. Todd and he tells her he's like,
I can't do any spring makes spring breaks shenanigans. I
have to babysit. My life is a lot of babysitting lately. Anyway,
we get to meet his little sister who's looking at
I believe her name is Danny, who she does know
is a porn star. But the girl lets her know
that she has nice boobs. She does have nice boob
she does, she does, she was, she was a model,
the actress who played her, and then the other girl
was a porn star. So yes, I think this girl
was FHM magazine's like top hundred sexiest girls ever. Blar's
just like, Hi, nice boobs. My brother would like your
boobs too, apparently. And then we meet Jerry O'Connell's character,
Derek as the porn director. That guy was good, Oh
so funny.
Speaker 2: God, he was perfect.
Speaker 1: Make sure those TV's are nice. Some book. Who's this
and I think his name is Andrew is Paul. Shear's
character is a cameraman, okay, and he wants the biggest
boat ever for his When you really look at what
he's filming, it's not the best porn video ever.
Speaker 2: I actually really liked that he said I want the
biggest boat this little bullshit lake can give me, because yeah,
that like they did have a pretty sizeable boat for
the size of that lake. Yeah, Like when I saw
the sign for what the.
Speaker 1: Lake is that what you say when you do your show.
You're like, I want the big I.
Speaker 2: Want the biggest boat you've got. We're gonna need a
bigger boat.
Speaker 1: But yeah, he's uh, he's talking to Jake. He's like, Jake,
you're from here. We need you to be a location scout.
And I thought there was like a romance brewing between
him and the one porn actress. Jake and the porn actress.
Speaker 2: There was something there.
Speaker 1: I guess it was problematic because he's seventeen. Oh he is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought what was all the stuff about going
away to college or.
Speaker 1: I think you can go to college at seventeen? Okay,
but the sister mentioned the seventeen So I think that's
why this girl ends up wing manning for him at
the end. Yeah, we're not at the end nor the middle.
But yeah, they're like, Jake, you're gonna help us, uh,
take us around the lake and show us all the
cool spots for our porn film. It's very over complicated.
Speaker 2: Okay, so stuff about me that you don't know I've
done nautical locations.
Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say, poor, I'm like, that
is a big fucking why would you admit that on
this well on this show. Why was she? Oh, like
that would have been an insane revolution. You tied that
so poorly. Okay, no, you creep.
Speaker 2: That is not what I was gonna say. I was
gonna tell you I've done location scouting, like specifically nautical
location scouting, and well, all that is is, you know,
not only am I picking the boat that's going to
be the right boat for the shoot, I'm also choosing
where they're going to anchor it, where they're going to
be able to raft it up, where they're going to
be able to dock it, what orientation they're going to
like get it set up, and can we do stern
anchor to make it look like a certain way even
though you know the current and wind are going to
be pushing in another way. All of that stuff goes.
Speaker 1: Into can you name some of the ones you worked on?
Speaker 2: Beasts of the Southern Wild?
Speaker 1: There you go that one Awards, I think, yes, it did.
I've seen it once and I went, this movie's really good,
and then I never watched it again. Okay, but I
liked it. It was very good. That was a good one.
I should rewatch that movie.
Speaker 2: Also a bunch of stuff for Nautica Nautica. Yeah, they
make commercials about their stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh right, right, right, right, Well there you go. Miss.
I don't feel like I have enough film knowledge here.
And you're like, oh, and by the way, I did
this thing. I'm like, oh, that's actually the most impressive thing. Uh.
Thankfully you never did poor it as far as we know.
Speaker 2: Se.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jacob's home and he's researching the porn site and
his mom keeps walking in on him.
Speaker 2: Well, why don't you know it's like a Girl's Gone Wild?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is very much Girl's Gone Wild. This This
is like the tail end I think of Girls Gone
Wild being relevant, where at some point everyone's like, well
I can just get videos on my phone now I
don't really need to sign away for a DVD.
Speaker 2: I think it's actually the it's not being wild and
it started just being wildly predatory.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, yeah, you know, I haven't really looked
into all the issues where Girl's Gone I was too
young to order those tapes and DVDs.
Speaker 2: Well, the commercial always made it look like, oh, it's
just so fun and just having fun and you happen
to be here with a camera, when really it's like, hey,
why don't you do this?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Tony, why don't you come on, Tony, Tony, don't
you like me anymore?
Speaker 2: I think you should do this.
Speaker 1: Whenever I watch commercials, like wait, the girl's just flashing,
that's it, I'm like, that's gonna get old real quick.
That's gonna get real old if it's just this over
and over again for an hour, like okay, cool. I
can only hear a girl going like so many times
I'm turning the video off. I hate it when you
go to like parties and stuff and you hear them screaming.
It's like, ah, shut up, shut up. Yeah. So he's
trying to watch this video and his mom keeps coming
in over and over again. Yes, but she's just like, hey,
you're not gonna do that thing you're gonna do. You
gotta watch your brother and sister Lara, and I'm sure
the younger brother had a name Blonde, and yeah, there
you go, the Children of the Corn. You have to
watch the children of the Corn. I don't know how
they got here, but they're here and you have to
babysit them now. So he's like, fine, Mom, I'll do it.
Leave me and my lou read poster alone, get out
of here. I saw that that lou redposter caught my eye.
But I don't think this guy is listening to lou Reed.
But okay, he's a giant lou repo like that was Okay,
a seventeen year old in twenty ten. That's all right,
I guess anyway. Uh, and I love that. Like she
leaves and he starts watching again. She's like it, by
the way, dinners and get out. It's good.
Speaker 2: It was funny.
Speaker 1: And then I'm sure we missed a scene where she
got a phone call to meet fing Rains because it
just cuts to her on a boat with fing Rains.
Speaker 2: Oh, they just missed something, because.
Speaker 1: No, no, it literally is that and that I'm sure
they just cut out a scene. They're like, ah, fuck it.
She's just there with ving Rams now who is deputy whatever?
It's finger Rains from Mission Impossible.
Speaker 2: Nice. Uh.
Speaker 1: He lets her know that what's his face went missing
Richard Treyfus and they're they're going to look for him,
much like the guy who went missing in Jewels and
his boat sank and they found his court. It's just
that scene. It's just literally that. But he also lets
her know I was like, Hey, a seismologist is coming
to town because of that earthquake that happened, and you
have to accompany them. And she's like, what the fuck
you're telling me this now? Also, how would she not
know before him?
Speaker 2: Well, she wasn't on duty. She was dealing with her
kids and annoying her son's watching.
Speaker 1: Pot, so I guess so. But yeah, she goes into
the water, She falls into the water, doesn't get eaten,
but does get hit with Richer Treyfus's corpse.
Speaker 2: Could you explain to me? So? Ving Raims is like
nervous about the dock, and I didn't nothing about that
scene quite made sense to me, except for the fact that, yeah,
we knew she was gonna fall in because the dock
is rickety.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But his yeah, I don't know. I didn't get that part.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I don't know why did he just get
like a stick or something. Yeah, it wasn't that far away,
that was the thing. Like they acted like the boat
was like really far away. I'm like, I feel like
she could have just jumped into it or something. Yeah,
she gets hit with the corpse, terrifying, She's terrified, and
then we finally get like a Piranha attack. Some dude
is like, I'm gonna jump in the water, and then
he just jumps in the water and you just see
red blood come up from underneath. Yeah, that was kind
of a blinked emission scene. I thought the first like
actual Piranha attack and like a civilian would be a
bigger deal. It's like that just the guy canniball didn't
come back up. Jake is begging his siblings. He's like, Hey,
I gotta go party. Can you please just watch yourselves.
He's like, they're like, yeah, we'll do it for sixty dollars.
He's like, I'm only getting paid forty. It's an extra
twenty for lying. So he's like, all right, and you
guys are gonna stay in the house and not leave
the house and not do anything. And he's an idiot
and he trusts them. Yeah, because of course they're not
gonna do that, because he's.
Speaker 2: Not doing that. And they were all raised by the
same poor single mother.
Speaker 1: That's the real villain of the film.
Speaker 2: Oh God, she's about mom. Clearly, that's what we've learned.
Speaker 1: The seismol just show up and they're led by Novak
played by Adam Scott. Oh everyone loves Adam Scott. I assume, yeah, sure,
I've enjoyed him.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, Yeah, he's like not Doctor Who.
Speaker 1: He's not Doctor Who. He's in a lot of comedies.
He's in a lot of horror films too. Famously, he
was in we we reviewed all the hell Raisers when
he was very when he was like young and like
in his early twenties, he was in hell Raiser four.
He's like one of the bad guys and gets killed
early on, and then apparently he auditioned for hell Raiser
five thinking they wouldn't remember him, and then they did.
They didn't let him. He's like I tried to He's
like I tried to do another hell Raiser and they
they caught on that.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: I love that. He's just like, I'm not doing it again. It.
He was just in a horror movie called Hokum that
came out that people are raving about, but I haven't
watched it yet. Same girl who did Oddity, which we
did review. Go check out that review. So yeah, he's
just like he's based the hooper of this, but he's
looking for earthquakes instead of sharks.
Speaker 2: Sure he is somewhat dashing as well, which is looking
man is different for him. He's usually just the wormy
like he.
Speaker 1: Can go back and forth. I notice, I like the
range is range. But everyone just loves this fucking lake.
They're all partying and dancing all to the same song.
They're all going nuts. Boobs everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. Yeah. So
Jake shows up to Derek's boat and they're filming girls
motor boating each other, and then Jake bumps into Kelly
and she's surprised to see him. And then Derek is like, hey,
you young lady, you should get on my boat. This
is kind of like what you were talking about.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's exactly that.
Speaker 1: You should get on my boat too. It's gonna be awesome.
Speaker 2: You like champagne, don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then she agrees to Spike Todd, who apparently
lied about the backstage passes.
Speaker 2: What a dick, Poor Todd. Todd's whole character arc is
really well established, making him the biggest jerk ever.
Speaker 1: Not at the beginning. Actually nothing he's doing now, like
maybe maybe he.
Speaker 2: Threw a drink on the guy. You've missed that part.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, Yeah he did slushy No, Todd's friend
Slushy the guy.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's fair. I thought he egged him on, though.
Speaker 1: He's not responsible for his friend's actions.
Speaker 2: Okay, we go out.
Speaker 1: After this and you throw slushies at people. I'm just
gonna be like, not with her, Not with her. She's
a trekkie. I'm a trekker. Oh wait, that was from
the Unfilled That was one of the one that didn't
have audio in the beginning. All right, So yeah, she
gets on the boat and she's like, all right, fuck
you Todd. Uh. The boat leaves, but don't worry. Derek's like,
don't we'll be back for that wet T shirt contest,
will be back for it.
Speaker 2: Well, it's branded, it's it's wild wet T shirt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like an off brand girls called wid I
forget what they call.
Speaker 2: Wild wild girls, something dumb like that wild wild I'm
a wild wild girl. And that's when he goes and
he checks out the site. You know what, it's a
well done.
Speaker 1: It's a really well done film. And I have a
feeling that maybe Jerry O'Connell didn't think anyone would see
this movie, so he's just being unhinged as hell. Meanwhile,
the kids, the little kids. They take a boat to
some island to fish. It's a canoe, a canoe to fish. Yes,
I feel like they could just fish from where they were.
Speaker 2: Well, he said that there were no fish there for
some reason. There's no fish.
Speaker 1: Wow, probably because the.
Speaker 2: I get it. It's a well done film.
Speaker 1: Look at that fishing. Are you Are you a fisher? No?
Speaker 2: I'm trying to be this summer though, because they make bank. Yeah,
it's just those influencers.
Speaker 1: They did it a little bit. As a kid.
Speaker 2: You also get seasick.
Speaker 1: I also do that too. Yeah. Well, my brother in
law's bachelor party, which I've talked about many times, a
bachelor parties movies lied to me. Bachelor parties are not
what they are in the movies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not.
Speaker 1: Not the ones I was invited to. There were never
any hookers there, strippers or anything. My brother in law
was like, do you want to go to sea fishing?
And I'm like, when is it? He said like five
am or something. I was like and I literally looked
at it and I went, why so early? The fish
never leave the lake. They never leave the water. They're
always in the water. They don't sleep. Really, where would
the fish. Why, why in what world do we have
to be up that early to get the fish? I
did not go fishing. Why shock you? I ended up
not going fishing.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's fair. Are you sure they weren't just for
international waters to like let the illegal stuff out?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe maybe I went to a wax
museum instead. I went to the Hollywood Wax Museum of
North Carolina. It's one of the worst wax museums. Amazing. No,
it's worth every penny for every one good wax model,
you get fifteen ones that look nothing like the person.
It's amazing. I highly recommend it, not because it looks good,
because you'll have a really great time going. That's supposed
to be Ellen. What the fuck is that? Okay? So yeah,
the kids take off and I have it here. Sure,
hope no Piranha show up. Derek and Kelly are drinking
with porn star Riley Steele, who plays Crystal. Not familiar
with her catalog. There's a different porn star who I'm
very familiar with, but now Riley steele name didn't jump
out to me. And then Jake flirks with Danny, who
is Kelly Brook. That's the model who's being real nice
to him. Yeah, the two naked, the two nakeds, the
two naked. I right ahead. The two girls get naked
and they go into the water and we see them
swim for a really long.
Speaker 2: Time, like a really long time.
Speaker 1: Yep, while Flower duet plays.
Speaker 2: This about that, So what is the writing on this movie?
Speaker 1: Has to be a wait, it's possible whatever streaming might
be like an unrated cut, but it didn't specify, so
it's definitely.
Speaker 2: Are because I mean just the amount of time they
spent twirling around very naked. Yeah, but like but how
did but they managed to like always contort themselves just
perfectly relative to So I'm just so impressed with the
underwater choreography of like no, no, no, don't see that, well,
but you can see this part.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. A lot of times they're a lot
of times they're wearing something they'll like glue, a fake one,
like a Barbie thing down there justin k Okay. I
was impressed kind of like how men wear a flesh
sock sometimes and there are scenes, but I think the
reason they're naked for so long is because they're not
really doing anything sexual. I think that lets you get
away because they're really just swim I guess they kiss
each other once in a while, but they're mostly just swimming.
They're not really doing anything sexual. Because I was like,
you know, I'm looking at them, like the how is this
not like NC seventeen. I'm like, oh, there's not really
a lot of sex happening.
Speaker 2: Just boobs are out, just mermaiding, and they had flippers on,
which I loved as a detail.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, And it's funny watching like a very
obviously three D scene in two D, like you could
just totally tell like, yep, that was supposed to pop out.
I love I love older movies that were supposed to
being three because the characters are always making a point
to point at the screen. They're like, listen you, Freddy's dead.
You never see Freddy's dead. No, the last like twenty
minutes of that is in three D, so it's like
a normal movie. And then she puts the guys on
and she's like, I'm gonna hit Freddy with this. So yeah,
they're swimming around.
Speaker 2: Uh wait, can we talk about the glass?
Speaker 1: Yes, so they film through a glass like floor that
they have. Are you gonna tell me this is unrealistic.
Do these exist?
Speaker 2: Just thinking about the drag on the hall that it
would create, because it's not like a glass bottomed boat,
which makes sense.
Speaker 1: It's a dome.
Speaker 2: No, it's a box like it's a literal squares on
all sides, like box sticking in like the least HydroD
dynamic thing I could possibly come up with. We're supposed
to believe it's on this boat, and then late in
a month wait, oh wait, you know.
Speaker 1: What that was one of those like I'm watching it.
I'm like, you know what, I bet you that's not
a real part of the boat, and I bet you
she's gonna point.
Speaker 2: It out literally retarded possible.
Speaker 1: I love that, You're just like, you know, this movie
about prehistoric cannibal.
Speaker 2: This this this box sticking off the bottom of his
boot problem.
Speaker 1: See. I love what. Jake's mom is calling and he's
pretending he's there with his brother and sister. He's like, yeah,
we're here. Then he goes, put your ass on the glass.
He's like, what, No, that's uh, those are some kids outside. Yell.
But yeah, she tells him because uh they've wait, do
we miss them investigating the thing? Oh wait, no, she's
telling him not to go in the lake because of
the body she found earlier. But she's like, yeah, I
don't want you kids in the lake. Uh, don't do that.
Make sure they're okay, and he's like, yep, they are,
uh huh okay. So he tells his mom who will
take care of the kids. He's lying, and then Kelly's missing.
She was on a raft by herself, and he dives
in after her. She's fine. She ends up being fine.
She was getting very very drunk. The kids are stuck
on the island and they're just like, hell, I think
their canoe sank or something or crashed.
Speaker 2: He didn't tie it up, right, he said, well, I
thought I tied a good bowling, but I didn't.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. So the canoe's gone and they're just yelling help,
And there is that tense moment where she cuts her
foot and the piranhas smell the blood. I don't know
if that's the thing vision. Yes, there was panavision. Do
piranhas smell blood? I know sharks.
Speaker 2: All all critters have some sense of smell in the water.
Speaker 1: I saw a fact, but I don't know if it's
like a bullshit Instagram Twitter thing apparently, like, we smell
rain way better than sharks smell blood in the water.
They're always But I don't know if that's real. That
might have just been something someone said. Let me know
if that was real, please comments. But that's pretty cool
a fact because everyone's like, yeah, sharks smells so good.
I'm like, yeah, mos fuckers can't smell rain as good
as we can. That's what weird. I don't know why
I'm trying to flex on sharks and one up sharks.
Speaker 2: I likes, yeah, you know what hates sharks?
Speaker 1: Kayley? She hates sharks.
Speaker 2: I like to eat them. They're tasty.
Speaker 1: I don't even think she would eat a shark. Should
she be afraid it come back to life and eat
her from the inside. She's literally said she used to
check under her bed for sharks, And I'm like, but.
Speaker 2: That, I mean, they're so killable.
Speaker 1: But I had to keep telling her, like it's the
easiest thing to avoid. Just don't go to where they are, supers,
It's really easy. It's she doesn't live around like an ocean,
like you don't. They just just don't go to where
they are. You're fine, Okay. So Novak is mapping out
the thing. He's like, there's a lake underneath the lake
it's been there forever, and his team dives down to
explore the rift, and there's like fifteen dick jokes here.
Speaker 2: It's the longest one I've ever seen. Can you keep
your mind on the task at hand?
Speaker 1: D I'm like an eel an electric heel it into
such tight space as shocking. Here's the thing. I don't
mind like horny, pervert, asshole jokes. This movie gets a
little constant. Sometimes they're like, it keeps going. It's so longer,
it keeps going forever. He's like, yeah, that's what they
all say. I'm like, all right, we don't really need
dick jokes right now.
Speaker 2: We're fine on as long as the boob swimming scene did.
Speaker 1: Well, Yes, yes they did. We didn't need to linger
on these for too long. They're funny in small doses,
but like one after another. I'm like, Okay, this is
supposed to be scary moment. Now let's chill them. The
dick jokes or how deep your vagina is jokes? I
don't know. They will make a bunch of jokes there trench, yes,
swim into it. Yeah, and they find thousands of eggs
in this cavern and they make they make a point
to hit one of them and it flies at the screen.
It's a little baby Piranha going to let you know that.
It's so Pranah. That is a good moment though, when
the guy lights up the torch onnder water and they're
just all staring at him. That was cool. That was cool.
But yeah, they start shredding that fucking guy and the
chick is trying to bring him up and she's being
ripped up.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Didn't like this scene where the eyeball, the eyeball fell
out of his head and Prana eats the eyeball. Didn't
like that one. Yeah, didn't like it. Uh again, since
they don't really like eat everyone. They pull him onto
the boat and he's just like a he's like that
skeleton over there, which just meet strung day.
Speaker 2: It was weird. Yeah, it was like like, but.
Speaker 1: They're able to capture one of them. Yes, yes, they're
like what the fuck is this? Back on the party boat. Uh,
Derek is doing body shots off a crystal. I never
did body shots. Don't think I missed out on in college?
Speaker 2: Why did you miss out? Were you in a frat? No?
Speaker 1: I was not in a frat. Frats O twenty dollars
for you guys to come in. I'm like, fuck off man.
And of course the girls we came with, you're not
you're gonna like try to cook. I'm like, I'm not
doing fucking frappart. I hate frats so much anyway. Uh No,
I just what every party I ever went to, they
just weren't happening, okay. And I don't want to be
the guy to like, let's do like I feel like
that's weird, Okay, is it weird to be the guy
to initiate body shows.
Speaker 2: I was always the one to go get away from me.
Speaker 1: That's what I was always afraid if it was at
a party where everyone was doing it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, body shots are definitely happening around me.
Speaker 1: I'm just I would have liked the option. I don't
even know if I would have done it. Actually seems
kind of gross. Honestly. This scene is not sexy, by
the way, Like I know it's supposed to be sexy,
but I'm like, they're drinking out of her belly button.
Speaker 2: I'm like, and she's got I mean, like I get
salty all the time.
Speaker 1: Ye like that was Yeah, it was one of the
most unsexy sexy scenes I've ever watched movie. But yeah,
he he does it to a crystal and then he's
gonna have Jake do it to Danny, but then Danny
shout out hers wingman and for our boy Jake. He's like,
how about you do it with Kelly? And I'm just like, wow,
a woman who's trying to help him in very rare,
very rare these days. But yeah, he helps her out.
It goes south though, right before he gets the line
out of her mouth, she throws up.
Speaker 2: And that was as three d as they come, by.
Speaker 1: The way, Yes, yes, uh you get a puke cut
right to surprise Christopher Lloyd, I'm coming. I'm coming. Hold
your horses.
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Doc Brown.
Speaker 1: Were you shocked when he showed up too?
Speaker 2: Completely blown away? Like this movie has a budget.
Speaker 1: He's a fish scientist. What do they call those ichthyologists?
I have no idea marine biologists one would think. I
think ichthyologists as a fish.
Speaker 2: It's more specific, Yeah, would constitute all of it.
Speaker 1: I'm not a scientist.
Speaker 2: I don't know giant clams.
Speaker 1: On one of her two fersnas is either a giraffe
or a giant clam? Apparently, what what would clams as
a furry because they're scalies, which are like lizards and stuff.
But what do you make a clam? What is a clam?
It's a mollusk or something. Yeah, but are there have.
Speaker 2: You ever seen a giant clam? They're beautiful?
Speaker 1: I know, But like I'm talking about the people who
dress up like anthropomorphic animals, what is or anyone dressing?
Is anyone dressing up like a clam? And what is
that sect called of the furry dim right on the shades?
I know you're watching a clam portion of the furry community.
And do they have a name? Are they crustaceans? Are
they crusties? Are they called crusty? Anyway? They go to
his lab, yeah, aquarium whatever, and they're like, what the
fuck is this thing? Look at this thing? And he's like,
that's not just a piranha, that's an ex stinct piranha.
And I have a I compediely have a fossil of
one right here. It's swammed the Colorado River millions of
years ago. Uh, And they learned that they've been surviving
by cannibalizing each other that.
Speaker 2: Makes him stronger.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know how long you last canibalizing as
a population. Yeah, you get enough nutrition, like just eating
the same thing as you.
Speaker 2: Well, the real problem would be that the water itself
would become hypoxic. Yeah, because they're just excreting into their
own air.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, this this might shock you. I'm glad you're
sitting down. I don't think this movie is very realistic.
Speaker 2: Oh god, Tony, how could you?
Speaker 1: Sorry, but they should have say you ever watched those
new Meg movies? No, okay, well the Meg the Trench.
They make a point in the sequel to say that
there were other animals down there, not just a megal
the don We needed something like that in this movie,
and then it would have been perfect. Yeah, then it
would have been when no flaws whatsoever.
Speaker 2: I thought they were gonna go with, like, oh the water,
because he makes he makes a comment about the cave
water being so much colder.
Speaker 1: M hmm.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, like they're frozen in there or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's like old Hollywood monster movies, like this
dinosaur has been frozen yeah for a million years. I'm
like it would have died, but whatever, But yes, it
was nice seeing a surprise Christopher Lloyd. I wonder if
there's any other surprises. Cut to Paris sailing Gianna Michaels,
which if you're on this channel, you probably one of
the major search terms that leads people to my channel
is the name Gianna Michaels because we talked about the
scene when I did Hills Have Ies, the director's other movie.
Uh yes, And when I was watching this film, yeah
with the lady I was seeing, I went Gianna Michaels
and they said, who is that?
Speaker 2: I went, oh, so this is the point at which
I was like, no, Tony's trying to trick me. This
has been a lot of porn stars and.
Speaker 1: I'm but also Christopher Lloyd and bing Rape. There's there's
too many real actors important it was.
Speaker 2: It was a very push pull happening. And then but
then this parasailing thing just you sit on it for soul.
Speaker 1: I could have sat on for ten hours.
Speaker 2: And then she sits on the camera at some point.
It's great.
Speaker 1: It was I celebrate Geanna Michael's entire catalog of all
the actors in this film, even major actors like Christopher Light,
I probably see more of her films than Christopher Lloyd.
Like Christopher Lloyd. There's some Christopher Loid movies I haven't seen,
but I guarantee you I've seen almost all. Uh and
if you're new here, joy Gion and Michael's a great performer.
Really respect her as an actress. That I paid one
hundred dollars to get a lap dance from her at
my local strip club years ago. It was the happiest
day of my life.
Speaker 2: In Brush with Celebrity.
Speaker 1: Yes, there's a picture of it. Have I ever shown
you the picture? No, we're friends. I'll show you the
uncensored picture. Everyone's seen the censored picture, but I got
the uncensored picture. I told her that story while I
was getting the lap dance. She thought it was very funny,
and she laughed because I'm very funny. I'm sure I
had nothing to do with the money I gave her. Anyway,
happiest moment of my life and the best scene in
the film by far. I was like, this is amazing.
She's just parasaleed naked for a while, having a great time.
It stacks something you too, because the screaming you hear
before it's revealed is like a very famous stock woman
scream effect. I've heard it in a million movies. I'll
play it here. You guys probably heard of a million.
I don't know what the name of it is, but
it's like kind of like the Wilhelm scream, Like you've
heard the scream a million times and it just cuts
her tits out. You're like, oh, he wasn't expecting that.
And then I had to explain to the lady who
Johanna Michaels was and it didn't last much longer. Affect anyway, Uh,
Jake is unprofessional because he's supposed to be filming Gianna
Michael's naked, which I don't think she's part of the
porn shoot. I think uh, I think Derek is stealing
a shot there and not getting the proper NDA. But
Jake should be professional as a cameraman. Instead, he's filming
his siblings on the beach who were lost, and I'm hey,
one thing out of time, Jake. I'm on Derek's side here, right,
Jake was being unprofessional.
Speaker 2: Jake was so unprofessional.
Speaker 1: He's like, but my brother and sister might be getting
killed or whatever, and he's like, hey, tits out record, Well,
no one clipped me going, hey, tits out record, please
don't do that. Sorry.
Speaker 2: Did we say that she's parasailing? Yes, like she's all
harnessed up. Yeah, I like everything's going this way and
then they're gonna splash her down in front of the
like it's crazy, Like, how is wow?
Speaker 1: I only ever parasailed once. I was like ten to
scare the shit out of me. I think now I
would enjoy it, but it was one of those like
it seemed like it would be cool, and then I
got up there and I'm like, this is not cool.
I do not like this. I do not like being
up the side.
Speaker 2: There is a video I have to show you.
Speaker 1: Are you parasailing?
Speaker 2: No it's not me, but it is okay anyway, Okay
I can't show you.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Okay show me. Afterwards, it did kind of
feel bad for Gean and Michaels because those things are
flopping everywhere. I'm just like, that had to be a fight.
It looks funny and she's laughing because she's a very
big professional, which is why I celebrate her entire gallic,
especially when she crosses over with Sophie who or Alexis Texas,
who I've also met twice anyway, but I had to
sit there. I was just like, man, this thing's probably
hitting her in the face. There's probably multiple tanks, so
that's probably had to been a nightmare. But I'm glad
she neede to a big Hollywood film, her only one.
I think she was in one other normal film. I mean,
I think they're all oscar worthy, but uh, society doesn't. Actually,
I actually had a tweet blow up a few months
back about Sophie d okay, because she was in one
of those horror movie parodies. Okay, I think it was
a haunted house, one of the ones the Wayne brothers
did that wasn't a scary movie. And there was a
picture of like the red carpet event for it, and
I retweeted and I went, is that Sophie D. I
mean a woman who I've never seen before in my life?
And for whatever reason, I got like a million so
many of people were sharing like fucking perverts and trying
to do something funny.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I don't know who she is.
Speaker 1: No, you don't know the names of Annie Porn. You
can't name him off the top of your but I
did that. I did a video with Adam your enemy. Uh.
And he's like, Tody, we're talking about like up becoming actors,
not porn actors. Like okay, I won't name it. Then
I named like five off the top of my head.
He's like, you just had those fired up ready to go, Like, oh,
I forget. Adam's like a family man. He probably doesn't
have time to research all these wonderful performances anyway.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, he's just the movie stuff names. Uh.
Speaker 1: So Jake is like, we gotta save my siblings, We
gotta save my brother and sister. And they're like no,
and they're like, my mom's the sheriff, and I like,
like the cherry O'Connell starts wiping the coke off his
nose and he's like, oh yeah, let's go get them.
Let's go get them now. Why didn't I know this detail?
Speaker 2: His performance in this just everything about it was so good.
Speaker 1: He's having so much fun. He's acting way harder than
he needs to. Meanwhile, poor Gianna Michael's lands in the
water and the Piranha get her. I realized now I
probably can't show any footage of her, no, unless it's
heavily censored. Goddamn it.
Speaker 2: I'll draw a picture.
Speaker 1: Okay, uh yeah, the Piranha get her. That actually is
a cool effect. When they go to parasale again and
his legs are all bitten off. And if I wasn't
such a man, I would have cried at the scene,
but I didn't.
Speaker 2: I did cry.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you cried for me. It's like Cod of
the Barbarian when the guys crying. Why do you cry?
Because he won't? I cry for him. You're my crier,
You're my designator. I'm gonna text you. I'm like, I'm
sad right now to a cry.
Speaker 2: I'm on it. Gimm me like three minutes.
Speaker 1: Surprise horror director Eli Roth cameo. He's the guy hosting
the wet t shirt contest? Is he yes? His string?
Speaker 2: I hope that was all improv because, oh my god,
he came up with so many words.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say there was one that I wrote here,
there was two. Let me know if these would work
on you. Show me your brad tits that work on you?
What about show me those? This is even a pun,
show me those, Danny DeVito, But this is like.
Speaker 2: We're already twenty deep. And then he hits with THEO
he went.
Speaker 1: So long I couldn't write all that down. Guys, I
don't think girls want their tits referred to as Danny
DeVito's a very short, trollish I mean, great actor and comedian,
but a very short, trollish looking, unfortunate, tiny man. I
don't think they want their tits being referred to that.
Speaker 2: Oh god, it's so perfect.
Speaker 1: Say that as someone who's probably gonna grow up to
look like Danny DeVito. I know more more than others,
but yes, that's hard. Director Eli Roth he did like Hostile,
the first cap and Fever. He was supposed to do
the meg and then he got fired right beforehand.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: And I think the he did thank Thanksgiving was the
new one he did. Oh he didn't. He did the
video game movie border Lands. He did that disaster. Oh,
I don't know that even existed.
Speaker 2: I love I play the games, but I.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he got like Kate Blanchett to be the Redhead girl,
and everyone's like, she is way too old for this role.
Looks great for her age, but like the character is
apparently like way younger than she's supposed to be, so
it's awkward. I don't know. I don't play bored.
Speaker 2: I just don't think she's right. I mean, she's a
brilliant actress, but she's not the right energy for that.
Speaker 1: It's not I don't even think he directed all of that.
I think he like left and they did a bunch
of reshoots. Anyway, here he is just shooting water on
girls tits, uh, making the worst one liners ever. Amazing
ving Rain shows up Finingry's gun into the air, which
I was like, no, no, that would not be allowed.
But yeah, he tells them they all need to leave.
By the way, this was they had like a Jaws.
We can't close the beaches situation rightly. The lake makes
too much money. We can't see. No one listens to him.
They're like, we're gonna keep on partying. I Meanwhile, Jake
picks up his brother and sister and then they look
under the boat and they see the piranha.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: And then this is the worst time for them to
get stuck. And Derek is starting to lose it. He's
loosening his goddamn it because he's late for the wet
t shirt contest.
Speaker 2: The worst thing ever. I know, look like, well did
you hear the line? So they pick up the they
pick up the kids from the beach, Like they get
that boat in real close to the shore, that thing
is already aground if you honest. And then he says, uh,
be careful. The rocks can stop up the engines, is
what he says. And that line just like took my
spleen squeezed it until like my eyeballs popped out of
my head and I I.
Speaker 1: Oh, stop up the engines. Oh my.
Speaker 2: Now that being said, the boat did some amazing actors.
I really liked what they were showing it, Like.
Speaker 1: The boat was the best actor in the moment. Did
you make a note of what boat it was?
Speaker 2: There was some kind of carver.
Speaker 1: It was not a nice that don't come with a
square glass.
Speaker 2: I mean even the shots under the boat where they
show the propellers are all gummed up in seaweed for
some reason, like I didn't see any seaweed when we
were having yeah, dancing right.
Speaker 1: Well, they went further in.
Speaker 2: I'll give it to.
Speaker 1: I love that that broke you.
Speaker 2: Where are the prop shafts when you're looking down the box?
Where are they? They're not there? Why didn't the box
run aground?
Speaker 1: So the sheriff fails to evacuate the lake despite how
hard she tries, and the Piranha finally arrive at the
party and they eat a girl. They eat her butt.
They eat her butt first through her inner twobe, and
then the blood puts them all in a feeding frenzy
and then it's just carnage for a while. People are
getting dissolved and eaten and shredded left and right.
Speaker 2: Can I ask you, do you know how they did
the blood in the water, because it was so impressive
to me, like the quantity of blood, like fake blood.
They would have had to get the effect that they
were going for, and I don't think it was like
an after coloring.
Speaker 1: Nomad have been. I mean they had. I think Greg
Nakataro like camb Effects worked on this.
Speaker 2: They amazing.
Speaker 1: They've done so many famous things. At the time this
is being made, they were doing a lot of the
Walking Dead effects and everything, so they got like the
perfect like gore people for this. So they probably just
have gallons of fake blood and orn syrup just on hand.
Speaker 2: Is however they were like pumping it. Yeah, it was
so it was it looked epic.
Speaker 1: I'm glad, Like I said, we didn't really get a
lot of kills we got a few scattered kills in
this so far. Yeah, but now when they finally get
to the party, the movie just makes up for all
the lack of kills we got, and it just everyone's
just being annihilated and shredded. They all start climbing on
the floating stage and of course it capsizes and more
people get eaten. The cable snaps on it, and we
get a ghost ship. Sit. You've never seen ghost ship,
have you?
Speaker 2: Yes? I have?
Speaker 1: Oh you have?
Speaker 2: Okay, I've also seen ghost Boat.
Speaker 1: That's right, you did watch ghost Boat aka Alarm, which
was a Patreon explosive that we put out for free.
Here check it out. But yeah, at that moment where
the cable cuts the girl.
Speaker 2: Uh, first it cuts your bikini, well, it.
Speaker 1: Cuts all of it at the same time, but the
he falls off first, so we can get a nice
shot on that boob. Heavy natural as we call them. Uh,
that was a heavy natural.
Speaker 2: There was fabulous.
Speaker 1: There were some really fake ones in there, but that
was a heavy natural. And then like the top of
her head.
Speaker 2: That was a great effect effect about that.
Speaker 1: It's so funny, really really great. Novak gets on a
jet ski with a gun and he starts like picking
up people to drive him further uh to the shore
to like get them out, and the shotgunning. I feel
like the shotgun's not the gun you want to use
for this because the bran are so close to people,
and I'm like, no, I wouldn't I wouldn't do that.
But whatever. Eli Roth gets his poor head hit with
a boat and shattered. That was good. But between the
boat he's like, ah, that's like, that's a fear I
didn't know I had.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I've had.
Speaker 1: Oh god. Well, yeah, that makes more sense for you
to have that fear. Todd Ditch is his friend, and.
Speaker 2: Todd the mean ex or the mean guy boyfriend who
was a good dja.
Speaker 1: I have it here. He pulls a Tony where he
gets a thing to escape and leaves everyone behind because
he don't take chance.
Speaker 2: He doesn't just leave everyone behind. He mows people down
with the outboard like he's just chopping him up. Get
out of the way, Get out of the way, chop.
Speaker 1: If I was in this situation, I'll get up like
fuck everyone, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Until he finally clogs his prop up with some girls.
Speaker 1: With some girl's hair and she's yelling at her and
everyone's trying to climb on. His boat is being shattered.
He like whips her head off or he scalps her,
but also like the skin around her face comes off.
Then he gets thrown over and eating. Yeah, it's a shame,
darn Okay. So Derek is struggling to get the boat
out of the seaweed. He does, and then it immediately
crashes into a rock and breaks the glass beneath Yep. Now, uh,
Crystal dies. Crystal falls in the water and dies.
Speaker 2: You notice the blonde one, Yes, Okay, you.
Speaker 1: Notice Paul Sheer disappears here. I think we see him
fall in the water and then he's just gone from
the movie.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 1: Yes, he had a death scene where his memory had sun.
Speaker 2: No where did he go? I didn't care about him.
Speaker 1: You notice how he had suntan lotion on his nose
the whole time. Yeah, his death scene, and there's a
picture of it, was a piranha was gonna basically bite
his nose and rip it off and he was gonna
bleed out. But by the time they got to post production,
probably because the three D conversion, they're like, we ran
out of money to do this effect. So we're just
cutting out the death scene, so there's literally just a
picture of him holding nothing and that's all exits. All
that exists. But since we never saw his death scene,
it was never finished. He comes back in the sequel.
Speaker 2: Ah, that's fun.
Speaker 1: Another guy who dies and this also comes back in
the sequel. I'll let you know who it is soon, Okay,
Because when I was listening to how this get made,
when it was good, when all their now famous comedian
friends were making very offensive jokes which are now hidden
behind a paywall, he was talking about like you got
to see the movie because we survived, and I'm like, wait,
how did they survive? Poor Crystal gets eat and Derek
he tries to grab onto an ore to get up,
and when they bring him up, his legs.
Speaker 2: Well wait a secondate it if he tries to grab
onto an ore that the porn star is holding out
for him, Yeah, and she's like, oh, I can totally
pick you up. I'm like pointing it through these like no,
you're never going to be able to lift a full
grown man from an ore. I don't care how much policy.
Speaker 1: Hey, listen, listen. He's getting lighter because Piran ripping away
on his leg. That's true, and that's what they bring
I love that they don't show it right away, but
they bring him up on the whole and he's just
like kids going town. I don't want you to see
this when it comes, and he's just like, ah, it's
like they just they're slapping the piranha and he's like,
they took my dad.
Speaker 2: No, he says penis too many times, specifically the word
penis over and over. Jack. They took my penis, Jack,
my penis, Jack, they took my penis.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, Kelly is below deck and she's stuck under there,
the glasses breaking, the water is starting to fill, and
it's a very tense scene. But we gotta cut to
Crystal's implants floating in the water, and I'm like, that's
very funny. How much funnier can this scene get? Cherry
O'Connell's three D penis kids eaten by a pirana and
I'm like, well, can't top that cut to the piranha
vomiting because it didn't like the taste of.
Speaker 2: Honestly, this is all happening so condensed, like we're telling
you a lot of yeah, but up until this point,
there's only there's only twenty minutes left in the movie. Yeah,
like this has all happened.
Speaker 1: The whole movie's just been like, huh, there might be
something dangerous out there, boobs, there might be something danger
out there boobs maybe at death maybe death. And now
it's just like penises are being ripped off, people's faces
are being shredded.
Speaker 2: Bus are getting are chopping people up.
Speaker 1: Tables are slicing everyone.
Speaker 2: This is all man, just the extra scenes where everybody's
like splashing like crazy. I can't imagine the safety like
conversation just to shoot those scenes alone.
Speaker 1: Because well, I remember they I read they had to
delay the filming of this because when they wanted to
start filming, they're like that lake is gonna be freezing,
and we've got hundreds of extras, Like no, we got
a delay production until we can actually film. So they're
like not freezing to death in that lake, Oh my god.
But yeah, that had to be in intense to film.
There are similar scenes like that in the Meg.
Speaker 2: Because like I mean, if you're filming a bunch of
people freaking out in the water, how do you know
if somebody's actually having a problem, Like that's the that's
the part that I kept thinking, Yeah, especially with all
these boats around and some of the shots where you have,
you know, somebody operating a boat like I was looking
for a tow line or something like that. No, you
got you had people like holding onto the side of
vessels while they're being driven.
Speaker 1: I know this is so dangerous. Well, if you were
to have been there, you would have made sure.
Speaker 2: I would have done a lot more towing of boats.
And like, you just have to hide the thing after
the fact, and people like me will know that there's
not actual propulsion happening, but I'll feel better. I was stressed.
Speaker 1: So anyway, Julie shows up, she finds her kids, She
throws a rope to the boat, and then Elizabeth, who
was showing off her muscles climbing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, shoulders she does.
Speaker 1: But yeah, she gets on the things. She's like ready
to yell at the kid, but she's you know, there's
more important things happening. Yeah, She's like, all right, we
all have to go across this cord. He's like, but
Kelly's down there, and if I was there, I'd be like,
that's a shameful. We'll come back for her. But she's like,
all right, we gotta we gotta shimmy across and then
we'll come back and help her or whatever. Okay, So
while they're climbing, poor Danny doesn't make it. She falls
in the water. She was so hot and such a
good wing man man. This was her, This was her.
Thank you? Yes, very very Catholic death here gets mulled
to death by the piranha Uh. There is a really
tense scen where they're shimming and then like the thing
that it's what do you call the thing that it's
tied to the rope the railing? What do you call that?
Speaker 2: Is actually a railing?
Speaker 1: It is a railing, but is there a specific name
for it or not?
Speaker 2: In that boat?
Speaker 1: Okay, I got it right. They tied it to the railing.
Well they should.
Speaker 2: I mean I remember thinking to myself, no railing is
going to be able to hold me. They're asking it
to hold. But then they actually show it getting pulled
out of the deck. So I was like, okay, good job.
Speaker 1: Aren't there actual things you can tire rope too on
a boat?
Speaker 2: There's a ton of them. Yeah, but she said the
highest point so that they could do that.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I also was sitting there going like, why aren't you
putting this on a cleat psychopaths? And then it all
started to make sense, so I backed off. I was like, yep, okay,
this isn't a rocks clogging engines issue. I feel okay.
Speaker 1: I'm glad they thought it. It's the most perfect screenplay
ever written. I mean a major character who even following
we don't get to see his death, but that's a
production issue, not the script's issue totally. But that is
tense where they like it dips down and then he
has to dry the boat to like tighten it again.
That was a really good scene. But yeah, they all
get across except for Jake who stays on there.
Speaker 2: Honestly, that was that was like just one of the
many wild acrobatic things that they were showing off. And
even her getting onto the boat that she took to
go save her kids. She does this crazy like hop
from floaty to the overturned boat to like skittering across
a line and jumping onto the main boat. It was awesome.
And then she picks up the guy on a jet
ski and she's such a man an. It's great.
Speaker 1: We missed a huge scene ving rams, ving raims. I know,
ving Rams is killing all the fish and he's running
out of bullet, so he lifts up a propeller.
Speaker 2: He lives up a full outboard. He lifts up a
forty horse power outboard and just starts mowing. Well wait,
but you got to watch him like crank it first.
That's the important part. So it's a poll start, so
he's he poll starts it, and then he's got this
great moment of like yeah, and then he just arah
starts chopping fish and the three d fish pity their
legs flying.
Speaker 1: But then but then he dies or does he do?
Speaker 2: I was gonna say he comes.
Speaker 1: Back in the sequel, no legs, and then for some
reason he's friends with Paul Sheer and the room recovery.
Speaker 2: Again aw Trauma bonds.
Speaker 1: And then he goes to a water park, which of
course gets infested with.
Speaker 2: I like it. I can't wait. Okay, let's do it.
I don't really like water parks.
Speaker 1: Then I was gonna say they're trying to bring Jason
back after many many years on a boat. They've done
that before, but the first thing they did was a
short film they released last year, which you can no
longer watch legally. Hey, everyone, Tony from the Future here.
Ignore everything I'm about to say. They put the short
film back up on YouTube like a few days before
I finished this video, so I was right at the
time of recording, but I'm wrong now because it was
actually a product placement for Angry Orchard. They had a
Jason themed beer a Sier, which I have the box for.
But so they made this whole short film where everyone's
carrying Angry Orchard and there's all this Apple theme stuff.
But it's the first official Jason production in years, and
it shows off his new hockeyness and everything. He kills
a guy with the boat motor in it. Oh, it's
pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It's not great. The whole
short is not great, but that scene was pretty awesome.
And now you legally can't watch it because it was
like a temporary thing. You can watch my reaction to
it and other people reacting to it. But it's so funny, like, oh,
you're probably about the franchise back. Yeah, we're trying to
sell some ciers and then it's going away. I'm like this,
we're off to a bad start. Same people did the
effects for that, I think for this, so uh so
Jake like, all right, I'm gonna distract all the piranha.
They want blood, so I'm gonna throw Derek's dead body
in the water to distract them. But Derek still has
a little bit of life in him, and his last
words are wet T shirt shirt?
Speaker 2: What T shirt?
Speaker 1: A T shirt?
Speaker 2: Chip spit blood right in his face.
Speaker 1: I want those to be my last words, Captain Booley's.
Speaker 2: I'll do my best, sir, I'll stab you right now.
Speaker 1: Are you gonna be there at my death? Oh?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: He tosses it in the water. It attracts all the
all the piranha. I guess. I guess at this point, uh,
back at like the beach or whatever, everyone's kind of
like on the beach now they're out of the water.
Most of them are out of the water, just bleeding
out on the bait. But it's pretty gruesome. It looks
like a war movie or something. They're all just like ah.
Speaker 2: It is. Honestly, My favorite part though, was all the
blood on all of the boats. I know, you never
see boats that. It was awesome. I was like, oh
my god, just the ah, it's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: We need to add blood to the end of speed
to cruise control when it's crashing through the city. Just
add blood spurts everywhere.
Speaker 2: That'd be great. Let's remake that one.
Speaker 1: So yeah, he uh. He uses this distraction to go
under there and get Kelly. And then they have like
a makeshift bomb device where they tie like a flare
to something and I guess it'll spark when it hits
the air. I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 2: So he opened the gas valves for the stove. Yes,
and that's filling the.
Speaker 1: Void of Yeah, I got that part.
Speaker 2: And then those flares are attached to a floating walkie talkie. Okay,
so it will rise kind of slowly.
Speaker 1: Okay, and then he lights the flare underwater. Yeah, okay,
I forgot about that part. Then you can light underwater
fla that's right, because they did it earlier. I forgot.
It's so much was going on. I was like, wait,
what's going on now?
Speaker 2: I'm still stuck on still has legs.
Speaker 1: I'm still stuck on wet wet T shirt. I'm still
stuck on that. I'm still what.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: Jake and Kelly kiss because they're probably gonna die, and
they they go there and then they tie a rope
around them, so the boat can yank them and I'm
sit there, this guy this rides me the end of
twister where they're like, tie some belts around us, we'll
be fine. When they start yanking about him, like, I
feel like that would just break their backs or something. Yeah,
like they're not in the harness. They just tied a rope.
I'm like, I feel like I would just like snap
you in half. What did it?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm not a I'm not a boatman. I'm not a botologist.
Speaker 2: I mean, the boat that's telling them is pretty powerful.
But the amount of time it took them to start.
Speaker 1: Them Okay, maybe there's something there. Oh, I don't know,
but yeah, the bomb goes off and it kills the paranah.
I guess all the or most. They do make a
point to say they got most of them. Ye are
all killed. The seismic shock knocked them all out, I guess.
Speaker 2: I guess so the seismic shock woke them all up
and let them out, but didn't kill them until a
boat bomb did. Well.
Speaker 1: I guess they were like next to the blast or something.
I mean, that initial earthquake might have killed some, but
I think it's like it knocks them out so they
can't like breathe. They're all probably just drowning to death
because they can't move. But yeah, it's like this happy ending. Well,
this movie can never have a happy ending because John
and Michaels died. But we get a call from Christopher
Lloyd and he's like, I got bad news. This specimen
and all these specimens have no reproductive organs yet, which
means you've been killing the infant piranhas. And great ending
with Adam Scott going where are the pair? And then
a giant Pirana comes and gets it.
Speaker 2: It's perfect. It was actually really.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you stuck around to the
very end of the credits.
Speaker 2: I did not, oh know, because it's all.
Speaker 1: The bloody water at the very end, his eating skull
falls down from the bottom at the top of the frame. God,
and that was Pirana three D. What did you think
of this one?
Speaker 2: I had such a good time. I had such a
good time. It's a good one, honestly, from the very
first scene where it hey they're doing the thing, they're
doing it right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really really enjoyed this one. I should go
back and watch the other Piranhas. And see how they
hold up. But no, this one. I've seen this one
more times than I care to it. It's great, it's great,
it's fun, and the second one's fun too. The second
one again was a big bomb. Didn't do as well,
but it's got a good main character. Got Daniel Panabacker
as the main character. She was like in the Flash
and the Friday thirteen three make David Kochner Coachner is
the asshole water park owner and again David Hasselhoff. Isn't
the sequel worth the price of admission alone? David Hasselhoff, what.
Speaker 2: A fabulous human to understand how ridiculous he is and
lean in.
Speaker 1: He was great. I hope he cameo's in the new
Baywatch that they're doing.
Speaker 2: How could he not? Well?
Speaker 1: A cameo for that last piece of shit Baywatch movie
but the Rock Did you ever see that?
Speaker 2: No? Oh wait, yes I did? And what's his name?
Speaker 1: The zach efron Efron. I was so excited for that
movie because I'm like, they're giving it the twenty one
Jump Street like treatment. Twenty one Jump Street did it
better they watched and not do it well? A regular
episode of Baywatch. That's being serious. Is funnier than that movie,
which is meant to be a comedy. That's that's the thing.
That movie was really bad. I was really upset about it.
But that's a different story for different time. David Hasseloff,
please come on the show. I want to talk about
Star Crash, Star Crash.
Speaker 2: No, but I think I've seen, like I have like
something in my brain going. I've seen it on a
shelf like this.
Speaker 1: It's it's the Italian star Wars ripoff and he David,
It's like from nineteen seventy eight, ninety seventy nine. It's
real schlocky. It's got some big names in it. But yeah,
young David Hasswolf is like the Han Solo type character
in it. That awesome, great, great another one that I
seen more times than I care to it anyway, Pirana
three D. Let us know what you think. Is this
the best Piranha movie ever? I think it is. Should
we watch the Well, we're definitely gonna do three double D.
You gotta do three double duh. Great title there, that
fucking title that was one of those. The first one
I got three D eight dumb and then I saw
the title said three double D of like motherfucker. That's
a funny ass title. Let us know what you think.
And uh yeah, Captain Boomies, where can we follow you?
Speaker 2: I am Captain Boomies. You can find me floating around
and anywhere on social media being salty at Captain Boomies.
Speaker 1: Yes, do you have any other products or anything to plug?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I have a hair product line. It's
called Windward Curl. There you go find that all over
my socials as well. But also I have a TV show,
it is The Yacht Life, where I go around talking
to people about how they customized their personal boat for
fun on the water.
Speaker 1: Beginning of season two, is that coming out?
Speaker 2: I'm trying, Okay, find me sponsors people.
Speaker 1: And hopefully it doesn't air during Boys month like it
did last year. We had a boycott. Every week I
was boycotting. I was showing pictures of it saying boycott.
I might have heard the ratings. I'm so sorry. I'm
so sorry.
Speaker 2: I heard the it's all your fault, Tony. I can't
believe you and you are.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I community posted every YouTube video of
it saying don't watch I'm such a monster and bad friend.
Well yes, uh check all of that out like share, subscribe, Patreon, Patreon,
dot com, slash Act, the movies, sign off for it.
We got some good stuff over there.
Speaker 2: I'm a patron. Did I tell you I got the mug?
Speaker 1: Yes, you did, and you said it was great and
nothing was wrong with it. Ten dollars a month. Every
three months you get an item. You get a sticker.
The print of me is Wolverine one. You get a
mug that's perfect and totally centered. Someone didn't get a
misprint and told me about it ahead of time. And
then the final one is the poster the Nightmare on
elm Street being poster, which is me and all my
co hosts that I did night Marion Elms Street stuff
with how fun and I'm in the back is Freddy Sweat.
It's cool. I should probably add more to it. Yeah,
I don't think so many people would sign up, and
now I should probably do like more stuff after twelve months.
I don't know. I'll think of something. I'll think of something. Uh,
but I know a lot of people sign up because
like I'll look at Patreon, I'm like, why am I
not making as much? It's like, oh, the money I
make is then deducted for the merch costs. I'm like, oh, well,
at least that means people are signing up, but it
gives me a heart attack each time. I'm like, oh no,
oh no, it's a good it's a good reason. Pagerei
dot com, book me on Cameo, Cameo dot com, slash
Tony pluso get me to yell at people and uh yeah, goodbye,
we did it.
Speaker 2: Good job.
Speaker 1: Remember to like, comment and subscribe.
Speaker 2: Check out our other videos and Patreon page.