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Speaker 1: In just a moment X minus one. But first, how

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does one man get himself into so many impossible situations? Well,

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this is a question you'll probably ask yourself tomorrow night

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when you follow another hilarious misadventure of Throckmorton p Guildersleeve. Yes,

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Guildy's I for the ladies and his impulsive temperament managed

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to entangle him in a web of riotous circumstances. Be

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sure to join the romantic water Commissioner, his neighbors, Judge Hooker,

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mister Peevie, and all the loyal Guildersleeve household as they

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romp through another episode of the Great Guildersleeve tomorrow night.

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And I'll stay tuned for X minus one on NBC.

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Speaker 2: X minus one salutes our Philadelphia station. It's new call

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letters w RCV.

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Speaker 3: Condom for blast off X minus.

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Speaker 4: Five four three two X minus one Fire from the

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far horizons of the unknown, come transcribed tales of new

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dimensions in time and space. These are stories of the

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future adventures in which you'll live in a million, could

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be years, on a thousand, maybe worlds. The National Broadcasting Company,

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in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine, resents.

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Speaker 1: HE minus one.

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Speaker 3: On Tonight's story. Skulking Permit by Robert.

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Speaker 2: August sixteenth, here twenty two oh four two Central Colonial

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Administrative Authority Alpha Centaury Sector from Colonial Contact Inspector thirty

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seven subject Planet New Delaware. Following the procedure outline and

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manual for Contact with Lost Colonies. Open communication by Interstellar.

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Speaker 5: Radio with New Delaware.

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Speaker 2: This is the first contact established in two hundred years

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and proceeding on overdrive for personal investigation. Situation on New

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Delaware appears unconventional to say the least.

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Speaker 6: Hi, Hi there, Hi, Billy.

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Speaker 7: Hi, Tom, got no time for talking this morning. Gotta

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get this sign up.

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Speaker 8: It's real pretty sign. No allowed within city limits. What's

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an alien?

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Speaker 5: Beats me?

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Speaker 7: The mayor told me to put it up, he says

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to me, Billy Painter, you're chief of police, so I

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want you to paint me a big sign and set

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it right in front of the town hall.

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Speaker 8: Aliens, aliens, it's real, pretty word, Billy, Billy Painter.

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Speaker 7: I thought I told you may get easy, Mayor. I

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put the sign up. It's not that it's the church.

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I painted it just like you told me.

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Speaker 6: I know, I know, but you painted it wrong. I

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painted that church with a nice bright red. What's wrong

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with that?

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Speaker 5: I looked it up.

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Speaker 9: It's a little red school house, not church house. Churches

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are supposed to be white.

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Speaker 7: Can't keep track of the mall, schoolhouse, church house, jail,

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post office. Got along fine enough in you Delaware for

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two hundred years without.

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Speaker 9: Them, I know, I know, but we need them now

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and we haven't got much time.

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Speaker 8: Where are the carpenter boys? I saw Sam and Marv

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over de Beer's tavern.

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Speaker 9: Well, Billy, you go down there and tell them that

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they've got to build us a little schoolhouse, and you

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paint it red. It's very important.

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Speaker 6: The mayor.

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Speaker 7: When do I get a police chief badge? I read

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that a police chief always gets a bag may careself?

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Speaker 6: Why now go on?

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Speaker 5: All right there?

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Speaker 8: Oh sure it's hot here. I don't know why the

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inspector couldn't have come and winter. Oh Tom Fisher, Yeah, Tom,

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I've got a job for you, a very important job.

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Speaker 6: But now look, Mayor, I'm on vacation.

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Speaker 8: Fish won't be back in these waters, no vacation, not now.

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Speaker 9: He's due any day. Tom, How would you like to

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be a criminal?

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Speaker 6: I don't know what's a criminal? Well, come over to

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my house. And I'll explain.

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Speaker 9: I've got to appoint a criminal. And it looks to

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me like you're red. You don't mind sitting right next

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to the interstellar radio, do you. I'm waiting for a call.

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Speaker 6: Thought that thing was broken.

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Speaker 9: No, no, it wasn't broken. My father told me always

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to leave the monitor on recording in case. Just didn't

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seem to be anybody calling, Not for two hundred years,

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not since that war back on Earth.

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Speaker 6: Oh it's time. Huh. You just listened to him. They

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said that they would call just at this time.

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Speaker 10: You Delaware?

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Speaker 5: You Delaware? Do you hear me? You Delaware?

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Speaker 3: Come in immediately, Yes.

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Speaker 6: Yes, yes, we hear you. He's very touching.

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Speaker 5: This is Colonial Inspector thirty seven.

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Speaker 2: As I told you in my broadcast yesterday, there's been

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no contact with the other colonies for some centuries due

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to unsettled conditions here. But that's over, except for a

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little mopping up. New Delaware is still a colony of

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Earth and subject to her laws.

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Speaker 5: Do you acknowledge that status?

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Speaker 8: Oh?

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Speaker 9: Yes, we called a town meeting last night and talked

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it all over. We're still loyal to Earth.

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Speaker 2: Excellent. That saves us the trouble of sending an expeditionary

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force to reconquer you. However, as colonial contact Inspector, I

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will be obliged to make a personal investigation to make

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sure that you conform fully to the customs, institutions, and

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traditions of Imperial Earth.

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Speaker 6: Imperial that's funny. All the books talk about Earth as

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a united democracies, and a lot can change in two

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hundred years, And of course there has been a war.

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Speaker 5: Do you hear me, New Delaware?

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Speaker 6: Oh, yes, yes, sir, we hear you.

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Speaker 2: You realize, of course, there is room for only one

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intelligence species in the universe. Man, all of us must

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be suppressed, wiped out. We can tolerate no aliens.

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Speaker 6: I'm sure you understand, General, I'm not a general. I'm

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a mayor in charge, aren't you? Yes?

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Speaker 11: Yes, And you're a general.

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Speaker 2: I'll be sure you're running an Earth colony, General, with

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no radical departures from the norm suches, free will, free speech,

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free elections, or anything else on the proscribed list. It

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is impossible to administer an empire where everyone does as

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he pleases. Get your colony and order, General, I will

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call to inspect you in exactly one week.

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Speaker 9: That is all, Well, you see how it is. Tom, Now, Tom,

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about your job. I'm appointing you town criminal. I don't

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see why there has to be a criminal. That's a

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very important part of Earth society. All the books say so, Tom.

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The criminal is as important as the postman, or of

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the police chiefs. He works against society. If you don't

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have people working against society, how can you people working

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for it? How can there be any more important job.

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Speaker 6: I don't want to do it.

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Speaker 9: I'll be reasonable, Tom, put yourself in my position. This

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inspector comes and he meets Billy Painter, our police chief.

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He asked to see the jail, and he says, no prisoners.

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How can I hold my head up and tell him

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that we don't have any crime? No crime, you'll say,

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but Earth colonies always have crime.

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Speaker 6: Don't you see that? Tom?

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Speaker 9: Right there, the whole thing falls through. He'll see that

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we're not truly earth like where we're faking it.

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Speaker 6: We're aliens. And you heard what he said about being

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rough on aliens.

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Speaker 8: Well, yeah, but why me? Can't spare anyone else? And

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you've got narrow eyes. Criminals always have narrow eyes. Well

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aren't that narrow?

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Speaker 5: Tom?

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Speaker 6: Please? We're all doing our part. You want to help, now,

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don't you?

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Speaker 9: I suppose though? Fine, you're our criminal here. I've got

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this paper all made out for you, just to make it.

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Speaker 6: Legal skulking permit. No all men but these presents.

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Speaker 9: And Tom Fisher is a duly authorized thief and murderer

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is hereby required to skulk and dismal alleys, haunt places

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of low repute, and to break the law. What's the law?

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I'll let you know as fast as I make them up.

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All earth colonies have laws.

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Speaker 6: What do?

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Speaker 9: What do you steal and kill? Look, I'll give you

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a couple of books on it. Steal as much as

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you like. One murder should be enough. Don't overdo it.

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Speaker 6: It don't sound sensible.

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Speaker 9: Somewhere you could work up to it, Tom, Why don't

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you start off easy life by haunting a place of

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low repute?

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Speaker 7: Hello?

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Speaker 6: Tom, I hear you're our official criminal. Now, that's right?

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I have a beer. How's it going while I've been studying?

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I can't put my.

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Speaker 11: Finger on it yet. Hey, did you get the weapons?

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Mary competent sent over?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: Hatchet, a spear, two nigh a black jiuh huh.

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Speaker 8: I stuck myself with a spear ed The whole thing

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ain't sensible to me. I can't figure out what's the

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purpose of crime? What if people get out of it?

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Speaker 5: It's beer.

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Speaker 6: I try a new route this time. Tell me how

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you like it? Very dry, less filling. How come you

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ain't out thieving now? Tom? Oh, I'm planning.

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Speaker 8: My permit says I have to haunt places of low repute,

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and that's why I'm here.

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Speaker 11: Well, there ain't no place to low repute. You serve

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the worst meals in town. No, No, my wife can't cook.

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But there's a real friendly atmosphere here. The folks like

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it town. It's all changed, Dad, I'm making this tavern

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my headquarters. It's now a criminal layer. Try to keep

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a nice place and a lot of thanks.

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Speaker 6: You again, Hi, Tom, you steal anything yet? Or not yet?

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Speaker 5: Mary?

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Speaker 6: No, I'll have a para coola ad. Don't worry, Tom,

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You'll catch on if anyone in this village can learn.

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Speaker 5: You can't. Sure?

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Speaker 6: We got confidence in you, Tom. Why don't you steal

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something right now?

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Speaker 5: Tom?

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Speaker 6: Go ahead? Well suppose I could. I brought some geefers

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in my basket, the real right, you could steal those? Well,

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they are nice looking geefers. Mary real tasty. Go ahead, Tom,

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steal it? Well, hmm, these are nice looking geefers. Mind

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if you take one on the light and look at it? No, Dom,

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you go right ahead.

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Speaker 7: Oh just a minute there, Hi, Billy, what do you have?

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I'm an official police business. What were you doing with

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that geefer? Tom?

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Speaker 6: Just looking at it?

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Speaker 7: I don't think you were just looking at it, Tom,

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I think you were planning on stealing it. You're a

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suspicious character. I think I better lock you up for

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the question.

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Speaker 6: No, no, no, Billy, what are you doing?

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Speaker 7: I'm doing my juty, Mayor. Tom here is looking mighty suspicious.

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Speaker 8: The book says. I know what the book says. I

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gave you the book. You can't go arresting Tom, not yet.

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Speaker 6: But there's no other criminal in the village.

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Speaker 9: Oh, Billy, don't you understand this village needs a criminal record.

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Acting suspiciously isn't the I'm all.

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Speaker 7: Right, but I was just trying to do my job.

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I'll still get you Tom. Remember crime does not pay.

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Speaker 6: Hey.

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Speaker 7: It's a real slick away of putting it, isn't it.

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I thought it was kind of catchy. I read it

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in the book.

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Speaker 6: Well, Tom, go ahead, now, I'll steal something. I'm not

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in the mood anymore. Better get to it soon, and

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don't forget the murder. Is it really necessary? I wish

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it'd worry.

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Speaker 9: But this colony has been here for over two hundred

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years and we haven't had a single murder, not one.

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Speaker 6: I suppose we should have one. Ah, take care of

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good boy, Tom. We're counting on you, Billy.

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Speaker 9: I want you to paint off a couple hundred signs

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saying private property, no trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted, and

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a dozen saying speed limit thirty five miles an hour.

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Speaker 7: All we got is those quog horses, and they won't

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go faster than the walk.

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Speaker 8: Never mind, you gotta have a speed limit. It's civilized.

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Well that's the last of the science, Billy. You might

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as well get from sleep.

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Speaker 6: Aren't you going home?

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Speaker 8: Man?

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Speaker 6: No, I've got to get out to Fred Farmers.

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Speaker 9: I appointed him postmaster since nobody ever sends letters around here.

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I promise to help him write all those letters. Well,

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good night, Mayor, I guess i'd better be making my law.

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Speaker 6: Good night, billy.

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Speaker 5: Who's that Tom? Tom? For sure you are thieving?

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Speaker 6: Who's there?

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Speaker 7: Don't move or I'll shoot, hey, Tom, come back.

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Speaker 5: Hey, what's going on out there?

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Speaker 6: What's all the racket?

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Speaker 7: It's the town criminal ed. I think I heard him

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robbing your house. Yeah, he's made his getaway now. But

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don't you worry. I'll kill him yet. I forget him

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in the morning, will you.

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Speaker 5: Some of us are trying to sleep.

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Speaker 6: Morning, Marv. How's the schoolhouse coming?

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Speaker 5: Fair?

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Speaker 6: Would have come along better if I had my saw?

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You saw? Yeah? Left it leaning against my door last night.

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Wasn't there this morning?

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Speaker 3: Tom?

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Speaker 6: Oh? Yeah you saw? Well you know how it is, Marv.

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I had to practice some skulking last night.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, sure, said, Do you suppose I could use the

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saw for a while, just for an.

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Speaker 5: Hour or two?

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Speaker 6: Well, I don't know. It's legally stolen, you know. Well,

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i'd give it back. I wouldn't keep anything that was

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legally stolen. Well, it's in the house for the rest

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of the loot. Okay, I'll go borrow them. I've been

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looking for you, morn Mayor. If you steal my bronze plaque.

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I certainly did. Oh, I was just wondering. You did

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it just in time?

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Speaker 8: You see up there right there, the black got near

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the rim of the sun.

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Speaker 6: Oh, what is it?

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Speaker 8: I bet it's the Inspectorship you murder planned? Time is

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running short, Tom, the Inspector may land in the hour.

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Now that darn radio has been yapping of me, something

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about a revolt, a dang for and all Earth colonies

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are to prepare for a conscription, whatever that is.

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Speaker 9: So let's get that killing over with. I don't know

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the murder now, Look, Tom.

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Speaker 6: Criminals on Earth commit dozens of murders a day and

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think nothing of it. All this village wants of you

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is one little killing? Is that too much to ask? Now?

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Who will it be? Tom? I guess I'll kill George Waterman? Why? Why?

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Why not?

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Speaker 8: What's your motive? I thought you just wanted a murder.

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Who said anything about a motive. We can't have a

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fake murder on Earth. Every murderer has a motive. Well,

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I don't like the way George walks. Never did, and

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he's noisy.

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Speaker 6: No no no. That might be good enough for a

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crime of passion.

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Speaker 9: But you're a legal criminal, Tom, You're ruthless, cold blooded

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and cunning. You can't kill someone just because you don't

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like the way he walks.

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Speaker 6: That's silly. I better think the whole thing over. Well,

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don't take too long.

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Speaker 8: Oh, and Tom, don't forget to leave O, they're very important.

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Speaker 6: Have another beer, Tom, don't mind if a doe.

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Speaker 3: How do you like the wing I fixed the tavern over?

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Speaker 6: I hung up dirty curtains.

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Speaker 11: You know that makes it a dismal retreat, because I

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figured that this was gonna be your headquarters.

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Speaker 6: That ought to be a real criminal's layer. They like

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the blood stains on the floor.

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Speaker 8: That's only Billy Painter's root, very red paint.

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Speaker 6: No, but it looks like bloodstains. He how's the murder coming.

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That's a good I've been thinking about it.

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Speaker 8: Dad. You realize I'm supposed to kill somebody. I'm supposed

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to make somebody cease to exist. I mean, like, take MYRV.

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Carpenter here, he is today working on a schoolhouse.

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Speaker 3: Big fella.

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Speaker 8: Now if I kill him, well, he wouldn't work anymore.

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I've been trying to imagine it. Marv Carpenter lying on

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the ground with his eyes glaring open and his mouth twisted,

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and never gonna hold a piece of wood in his

317
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hands again, or never gonna sing a song or have

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a beer or anything. What just made me sick? I mean,

319
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I could go on with the thieban but murder. Yeah, yeah,

320
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I know, but Tom, it's your job. It's for the

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good of the village.

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Speaker 6: Murder. I'm going to have another beer. Hey, what's that?

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Speaker 3: That must be the Inspectorship landing.

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Speaker 5: Come on, let's go see. I'm in a guard.

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Speaker 2: Advance shot up, portable generators and rocket launchers.

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Speaker 5: All personnel respected to immediate area of the ship.

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Speaker 10: Silars, me warned at all times, and guards at battle station.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to New Delaware. Thank you, General. I'm the inspector.

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This is mister Grant, my political advisor.

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Speaker 6: Is this the capital of the colony.

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Speaker 9: Well, I'm afraid there's only this village on the whole

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of New Delaware.

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Speaker 5: Only one.

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Speaker 2: Now, Grant, I told you when we surveyed the planet,

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we were wasting our time.

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Speaker 12: Patients, there's always an advantage in every situation.

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Speaker 9: If you, gentlemen are ready, ready, you're going to inspect

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darn village, aren't you?

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Speaker 6: Inspect?

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Speaker 5: I can see it all right, cross.

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Speaker 3: General, We're ready.

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Speaker 13: Let's inspect your villy.

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Speaker 9: You see we've got it all jail, post office, church,

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little red schoolhouse.

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Speaker 6: Oh we're very normal, very earthy.

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Speaker 5: Then I have my efficiency, waiting to think of this

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place is worthless.

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Speaker 2: No smelting, no heavy industry, no atomics, no taxation.

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Speaker 5: No, no, they don't have anything.

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Speaker 12: I wouldn't say that, Inspector. If you'll excuse us, General,

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of course, I'll.

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Speaker 5: Be downgraded at the next colonial board. Why why this

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place is a are utopia? It's subversive. We are a

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bload right out of the sky.

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Speaker 3: No, don't be despondent, inspect But.

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Speaker 5: This whole trip is a total waste of time.

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Speaker 6: Not entirely.

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Speaker 3: New Delaware has a very important and commodity for us.

359
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,920
Speaker 5: What you saw them, hulking peasants.

360
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:09,640
Speaker 12: Nothing but farmers, Yes, strong, healthy farmers.

361
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Speaker 3: Good canon father.

362
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Speaker 5: But but oh.

363
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Speaker 12: Ooh, let me take over, General, that's right. How many

364
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able young men are there in the village between the

365
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ages of fifteen and sixty? Why you see, General, Imperial

366
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,079
Earth is engaged in the war. The colonies in deng

367
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For are revolting against the authority of Mother Earth.

368
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Speaker 6: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

369
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Speaker 5: We need good, healthy fighting men. Our reserves are depleted.

370
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Speaker 12: We wish to give all loyal colonists a chance to

371
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fight for Mother Earth. We're sure you won't refuse most

372
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colonies welcome a little conscription.

373
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Speaker 6: Cleanses the blood, reduces crime crime.

374
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Speaker 8: Oh, I thought that would come up. We've taken care

375
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of that.

376
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Speaker 6: I appointed.

377
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Speaker 2: Now you see grant sixty seventy, perhaps one hundred recruits.

378
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Not such a waste of time coming in at all?

379
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,440
Speaker 6: Perhaps not sagant.

380
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,160
Speaker 2: The tailor's squad of fifty men with portable heat generators

381
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,759
proposed to guard in the village.

382
00:19:09,759 --> 00:19:13,160
Speaker 5: All right, mister mayor, suppose we go talk to this

383
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,039
problem over.

384
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,680
Speaker 6: Tom. Tom, you out there. Yeah, I've been skulking out

385
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,279
here all day. I'm hungry.

386
00:19:27,279 --> 00:19:30,079
Speaker 8: When I brought your supper, the mayor sent your message, Tom,

387
00:19:30,079 --> 00:19:31,519
He said, to hurry up at the murder.

388
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,519
Speaker 6: He's been stalling the inspector in that nasty little grint man.

389
00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:35,480
But they're going to ask him.

390
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 8: They're sure to, all right, all right, and I'll get

391
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:55,559
around to it tonight. Hey, Hey, wait a minute, Oh hello, Timer,

392
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,200
what are you doing? You said there had to be

393
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:58,559
a murder?

394
00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:01,079
Speaker 6: So ho wait, I didn't mean it can't be me?

395
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 5: Why not? Now?

396
00:20:02,079 --> 00:20:03,920
Speaker 9: For one thing, somebody has to talk to the inspector.

397
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,799
He's waiting for me. Someone has to show him out

398
00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:07,559
and do that. You think a knife would be more

399
00:20:07,599 --> 00:20:10,359
fatal in the higher in the throat. Nothing personal in carse. Wait,

400
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,200
if there's nothing personal, then you have no motive. Oh well,

401
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:14,960
I guess I could.

402
00:20:14,759 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 6: Think of one.

403
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,359
Speaker 8: I've been pretty sorry about you appointing me, Tom Criminal.

404
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,920
It was the mayor who appointed you, wasn't it for sure?

405
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,160
And look, I'm not a mayor anymore. I'm a general.

406
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,960
Look it's tars gold braid. Well what's that got to

407
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:26,279
do with it?

408
00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 9: Well, you missed the ceremony of this afternoon, Tom, inspector said,

409
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,160
I had to wear a general's uniform. It It was

410
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,480
a very friendly ceremony. All the earth men were grinning.

411
00:20:34,519 --> 00:20:37,400
They were winging at me, at each other, our congratulations.

412
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,519
Speaker 8: But you were the mayor when you appointed me criminal,

413
00:20:39,759 --> 00:20:41,079
so my motive still hold.

414
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:45,839
Speaker 9: Yes, But killing a general isn't murder, it's mutiny. Oh oh, oh,

415
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:46,440
I'm sorry.

416
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,799
Speaker 6: That's all right. It's just that I've read up on it.

417
00:20:48,839 --> 00:20:49,440
Then you haven't.

418
00:20:49,839 --> 00:20:52,079
Speaker 9: Well, I better get back. The inspector wants a lot

419
00:20:52,079 --> 00:20:53,279
of the men that he can draft.

420
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 6: Are you sure this murder is necessary? Oh?

421
00:20:56,319 --> 00:21:13,279
Speaker 14: Yes, yes, absolutely, just not me, no louve huh, Tom,

422
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,839
I just can't do it, Ed, I can't kill anybody

423
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:17,400
in the village.

424
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,640
Speaker 8: I grew up with him, I've worked with him, I've

425
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,400
drunk root beer with him. I don't have any motive

426
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,160
for killing any of 'em, I know, But you do

427
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,839
have to commit a murder. Tom, you don't want to

428
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:26,720
let the village down.

429
00:21:26,799 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 6: But I can't kill the people I've known all my life. No,

430
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,720
I suppose not. Wait wait a minute, I got an idea.

431
00:21:34,039 --> 00:21:34,079
Speaker 8: Ed.

432
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,519
Speaker 6: Suppose I kill the inspector.

433
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,119
Speaker 5: But what's your motive? Oh, it would be a.

434
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 8: Very terrible crime. I'd be killing for glory, for fame,

435
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:47,200
for notoriety. And it'll show earth how earthy New Delaware

436
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,279
really is. Why they'll say crime is so bad here

437
00:21:50,279 --> 00:21:52,519
that a criminal actually killed their inspector on the.

438
00:21:52,599 --> 00:21:54,799
Speaker 6: Very first day. Tom, that's just the sort of thing

439
00:21:54,799 --> 00:21:56,920
a master criminal would do. Oh yeah, think it's a

440
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,400
good idea. Huh, I think it's great, Tom, How are

441
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,000
you going to do it?

442
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:00,319
Speaker 2: Well?

443
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,079
Speaker 6: One of those soldiers got drunk in the bottle of

444
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,079
your key blerd juice and dropped his gun. I picked

445
00:22:04,079 --> 00:22:04,319
it up.

446
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:05,319
Speaker 5: Is that a gun?

447
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,759
Speaker 6: Yeah? You pushed this button here?

448
00:22:07,599 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 11: Hey look out, Sorry, Now I'll have to get the

449
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:12,640
compenter boys to fix that.

450
00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:14,799
Speaker 6: Hole in the room. Well, I'll be careful. Did you

451
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:15,559
kill the soldier?

452
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 8: Of course, not a point of killing the wrong man. Well,

453
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,240
I better get going. I'll wait from on the path

454
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:37,000
between the Mayor's house and the ship. Good luck, Tom, Thanks?

455
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 5: Huh? Cool? Three, oh, pap, and lie there. What a

456
00:22:42,759 --> 00:22:44,880
slappy cool all.

457
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,039
Speaker 12: Left feet, A nice night's work, and those landing parties

458
00:22:48,079 --> 00:22:48,920
dying like flies.

459
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,880
Speaker 3: We can use every new man we can. Guess you

460
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,720
say that, buddy, you're afraid the mayor will hear me.

461
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:58,519
Don't be ridiculous. A completely passive population sheep like obedient.

462
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,759
Speaker 5: Look at the No. Two of its stepped from.

463
00:23:01,759 --> 00:23:03,799
Speaker 3: What do you expect from back with agrarians?

464
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:04,319
Speaker 14: I don't know.

465
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,759
Speaker 12: Sergeants, get hold them at the base that whipped them

466
00:23:06,799 --> 00:23:07,799
into first class fighting.

467
00:23:07,799 --> 00:23:10,640
Speaker 6: Then in no time, Oh, stand and deliver.

468
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 5: What that wire is?

469
00:23:12,519 --> 00:23:16,039
Speaker 6: Tom? Hands up, Inspector, I got you covered. Now the

470
00:23:16,079 --> 00:23:17,960
rest of you drop your guns and move out of

471
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:18,240
the way.

472
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,759
Speaker 5: I'll sit here. I drop those guys any of this.

473
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,519
Speaker 8: Who are you, Tom Fisher? I'm the town criminal. I'm

474
00:23:25,559 --> 00:23:27,799
going to kill inspector. Now, please move out.

475
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 5: Of the way. Criminal, so that's what the mayor was

476
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:32,880
trackling about.

477
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 8: Now. I know we haven't had any murders in two

478
00:23:34,759 --> 00:23:37,039
hundred years, but I'm changing that now.

479
00:23:37,279 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 6: Now, move out of the way.

480
00:23:38,599 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 3: Well, I suppose i'd better get out of the line

481
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:40,480
of fire.

482
00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:42,279
Speaker 5: No, no, wait a minute, don't move.

483
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,279
Speaker 6: I know just how to do it. I've been thinking

484
00:23:45,279 --> 00:23:48,400
about it. Now, I'll push this button and you'll die.

485
00:23:48,759 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 8: You'll fall down on the path and your eyes will

486
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,960
open and your mouth twisted, and no air going in

487
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,799
and out of your lungs and no beat to your.

488
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 6: Heart, and I I I can't do it. Here, here's

489
00:23:59,000 --> 00:23:59,599
your gun. Take it.

490
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,519
Speaker 10: I don't right quick, quick after him, sageant, take a

491
00:24:03,559 --> 00:24:04,720
squad and search the forest.

492
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,599
Speaker 3: Hayk it easy, inspector this whole planet as forest. Ten

493
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,200
thousand men couldn't find him. If he doesn't want to, I'll.

494
00:24:10,039 --> 00:24:11,200
Speaker 5: Have him hanged on the spot.

495
00:24:11,319 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 6: I'mirably sorry.

496
00:24:13,039 --> 00:24:15,799
Speaker 2: Have the entire ships coming, turn out, general, how about

497
00:24:15,839 --> 00:24:17,119
all your people are looking for him?

498
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 5: Shoot out sight, kill him instant.

499
00:24:19,039 --> 00:24:20,079
Speaker 6: Lowie couldn't do that.

500
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,759
Speaker 8: Although we appreciate the compliment, what what that matter?

501
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 9: Is a criminal? That's what I'm trying to explain. I

502
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,640
appointed him. We had to have one.

503
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:32,599
Speaker 3: You what you mean you had no criminals?

504
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 6: I well, I'm afraid not. Oh, I am terribly ashamed.

505
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,640
Speaker 9: You see, we knew how uncivilized we were, and that's

506
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,599
why we did it. I'm dreadfully embarrassed that Tom couldn't

507
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:44,640
handle the job.

508
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,559
Speaker 3: Why did you give the assignment to that particular man?

509
00:24:47,799 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 9: Well, I figured if anyone could kill Tom could He's

510
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,519
a fisherman, you know, pretty gory work.

511
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 6: Oh and he wasn't able to kill the inspector.

512
00:24:57,319 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 9: Well, we just haven't had to kill anything for two

513
00:24:59,559 --> 00:25:03,599
hundred year except fish. The only animals on New Delaware

514
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,839
are small grass eaters, and they're not good to eat,

515
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,920
so we never kill any of them.

516
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 12: Then the rest of you would be equally unable to kill.

517
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 6: We wouldn't even get as far as Tom did.

518
00:25:14,799 --> 00:25:15,799
Speaker 5: I want that man.

519
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,559
Speaker 12: Forget about an inspector, But what you better get away

520
00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:20,039
from here?

521
00:25:20,319 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 6: You want men in our army who can't kill. Think

522
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,599
of it, I'm a rale problem. The possibility of infection.

523
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,839
One man in a key position endangering a key ship, well.

524
00:25:29,799 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 8: Maybe a whole fleet because he can't kill it isn't

525
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:33,920
worth a risk inspector.

526
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 6: Yes, sir, I see what you mean.

527
00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 3: Or to get troops back to the ship, we'll take

528
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:41,599
off at.

529
00:25:41,519 --> 00:25:58,599
Speaker 10: Once, Tom, time you can come out now, Tom, they're gone.

530
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 6: He's hiding around here somewhere. May Yeah, Tom.

531
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,799
Speaker 5: Talm here.

532
00:26:04,839 --> 00:26:05,160
Speaker 8: I am.

533
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,039
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, not bungled it.

534
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 7: Well, don't feel bad about it. It was an impossible job.

535
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 9: I'm afraid it was. I thought that just possibly you

536
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,440
could swing it. But you can't be blamed, Tom. There's

537
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,039
not another man in the village who could have done

538
00:26:19,039 --> 00:26:20,200
the job even as well.

539
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,279
Speaker 7: What are we gonna do with all those buildings, Mayor,

540
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,720
the jail, the post office, the little red.

541
00:26:25,519 --> 00:26:26,880
Speaker 6: Schoolhouse, the church.

542
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,319
Speaker 8: Well, I think we'll build a playground for the kids

543
00:26:29,319 --> 00:26:34,200
with swings and slides and sandboxes for them. Another playground, surely,

544
00:26:34,319 --> 00:26:36,880
why not? Well, I guess I won't be needing my

545
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,319
skalking permit anymore.

546
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 6: No, No, I guess.

547
00:26:41,519 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 8: Oh, well, we did our best. I had the chance,

548
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,839
and I let you all down. It's not your fault, Tom.

549
00:26:49,079 --> 00:26:52,319
Speaker 7: Look how long it took Earth to get civilized, thousands

550
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:54,599
of years, and we were trying to do it in

551
00:26:54,839 --> 00:26:55,559
two weeks.

552
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,079
Speaker 8: Well, we'll just have to go back to being uncivilized. Yeah, yeah,

553
00:26:59,599 --> 00:27:02,480
well we better get back to the village. Looks like rain.

554
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 6: Well soon I'll start fishing again. Say what is it, Tom?

555
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,440
It's too late now, But it's too bad I didn't

556
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,079
think of it before. I might have been able to

557
00:27:12,079 --> 00:27:15,279
go through with it. Think of what time I think

558
00:27:15,319 --> 00:27:15,880
I could.

559
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,039
Speaker 8: Have done it if I only had the sense to

560
00:27:18,079 --> 00:27:19,960
think of the inspector as a fish.

561
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,839
Speaker 6: Well, it's too late now. Guess he's just a big

562
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:24,960
one got away.

563
00:27:36,039 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 15: You've just heard X minus one, presented by the National

564
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:44,559
Broadcasting Company in cooperation with Galaxy Science fiction magazine, which

565
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:49,039
this month features an unusual story by James E. Gunn Silana,

566
00:27:49,279 --> 00:27:52,240
a story of what happened when crime suddenly invaded a

567
00:27:52,319 --> 00:27:55,160
crimeless society, and we're the only way to catch a

568
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,680
thief was to manufacture a thief. Galaxy Magazine on your

569
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:04,640
news stand today Tonight by transcription, X minus one has

570
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:08,400
brought you Skulking Permit, a story from the pages of Galaxy,

571
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,480
written by Robert Sheckley.

572
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 3: And adapted for radio by Ernest Connoy.

573
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 15: Featured in the cast were Dick Hamilton, Wendell Holmes, Joe DeSantis,

574
00:28:17,839 --> 00:28:23,240
Joseph Boland, Alan Hewitt, Bill Quinn, Mandael Kramer, and Ruby Deve.

575
00:28:23,759 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 3: You're announcer Jack Costello.

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00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,880
Speaker 15: X minus one was directed by Daniel Sutter and is

577
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,359
an NBC Radio Network production.

578
00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: Let's Visit Faber McGee and Molly Tonight on the NBC

579
00:28:50,799 --> 00:28:51,640
Radio Network