Speaker 1: Well, that's when Kyle goes and visits a a familiar.
Speaker 2: Friend, an old friend, an old scotch whiskey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me tell Kyle something. It's something that I
learned a long time ago. The answer to your problems
is not at the bottom of that.
Speaker 2: Bottom, right, but it might be to sip away. Hello,
aall you hands some people? Hey, Hey about TVM dell.
That's pat Hi below deck. What's going on? You a
little skank? Ye? You a little sleuth, you little skank.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, call to action here. You want to show
dyl and I that you support us and you love us,
and you want us to stay around and not leave.
Speaker 2: Poor, and that you're not a filthy, gross poor or.
Speaker 1: A cheap o, which so Le quoted the show tonight. Yeah,
we are doing Traders season one Australia at patreon dot com.
Slash into the podcast.
Speaker 2: Now, can I tell you something?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: No, no no amendment.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Can I ask you something? Please? How much fun did
you have?
Speaker 1: I had a great time the first episode. Okay, if
you've never watched the show, especially our our Ozzie.
Speaker 2: Friends, I cannot white to just talk like this for
an entire season at no, no, no, it's not going
to They love my Australian accent, and you do a.
Speaker 1: Pretty good one.
Speaker 2: Well, they say it's good.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: What are you doing having? What do you diet pepsi?
Why do you have diet pepsi?
Speaker 1: What's the difference? It's all gonna kill you. It's that
goddamn ass bertain.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I've been drinking it for thirty five years. Nothing's ever
happened to me anyway.
Speaker 2: Please you get a pretty serious cough spells.
Speaker 1: It was like three years ago.
Speaker 2: You have a lot of ailments. Sometimes you eventually get
over them.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I move on like we should with this segment.
Please sign up at patreon dot com, slash another podcast
and start Trader Season one. I love it. I can't
wait to hear Ruby and Dylan's thoughts on it. Here's
what I'm to say. Season one is just regular people.
They're just we have a grocery store clerk in there
in the mix. Okay, we have a sparky and you
you're Aussie's out there. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
And when I hear them deliberate, they are so much
smarter than those reality TV people. You realize how intelligent
regular people are over people at reality.
Speaker 2: It's amazing to see the social experimentation unfold in a
group of fucking normies, right, I mean, just the the
king complexes, the queen complexes, the dumb clues, my favorite
thing about traders, the dumb clues, just just looking into
something that is not there. I mean, I just there's
so many amazing things to go to patroon dot Complation
another podcast network. Donate a little or a little bit
more five stars, kind words. We love you guys very much.
And I'm not in the Facebook because I was hacked
by some foreign agent and evidently spewed hate speech. But
I hear it's a great Facebook group. Join us there.
Speaker 1: Oh, the groups are all that exist on Facebook now.
Everything in my feed other than the Facebook's true.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of anti Semitic memes and stuff
like that.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't get those. I hear those are
going around on there. I mostly just yet people I
went to high school with posting pictures of unflattering photos
of themselves where they're trying to humble brag, like just
got my hair done today, not looking so bad? Oh no,
you look.
Speaker 2: Awful Okay, so listen, we have below deck to get
into right now, don't we, Patrick, Yes, we do, Jesus Christ.
It's not about how they look. It's it's the cries
for help from your old college friends in high school.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we call that a Facebook crime. You do
something really stupid on Facebook. Usually it's because you're crying out.
Speaker 2: For a head, something along the lines of just writing
I've had it, I'm tired, I can't anymore.
Speaker 1: And leave it there, Vegas, just post it and then
just wait for the comments. Honey, are you okay?
Speaker 2: Okay, listen below Deck episode Stuck at the Dock. We
have one of these every season. It's like it's like
a sitcom's i don't know, like box episode or whatever
you call.
Speaker 1: Oh, like the tropes of sitcoms. Sure like uh like, uh,
what's that breaking? No, No, I was gonna say, what's that?
They used to make it? It's like almost like a pie,
but it's uh, it's the.
Speaker 2: You're talking about an oatmeal pie.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, no, I'm talking about souffle and
then uh. A sitcom trope would be someone would be
preparing a soufle and then someone would open the door
and slam the door and it would pop the soufle
deflate the super that's right, and they go, God, damn it,
I almost pulled off a soup fle. It happened like
eighty times in the eighties, did it really? Yeah? That
was That was a common sitcom trope.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, a common sitcom trope or a common trop
for Buldic is something goes wrong every season, whether it's
beside and whether it's Neptune choose your God not letting
them get off the boat, or an equipment failure, or
sea rats slipping their cock into somebody. You know, they're
these tropes all over the place, But this one we
do not leave the doc. We have a man with
a haired eye job that I'm very excited to get into.
Speaker 1: Can we talk about Ron's hair for a second.
Speaker 2: Well, I want to talk about Ron's hair later, but first,
can we get into our pots and knots.
Speaker 1: Well, maybe I'll somehow stuff Ron's hair issues in my
thoughts at knots. They are my thoughts of dots.
Speaker 2: When you say maybe, I think you mean certainly that's right? Yeah,
go ahead.
Speaker 1: Why would God do that to a person. I don't
think it's hair dye at all. I think he just
has black hair in the back, white hair in the
front and looks totally weird. I'm gonna kill him. I'm
gonna call him a Corella Deville for the rest of
the weekend.
Speaker 2: Oh you know, I was thinking of a good name.
The only thing that I could come up with. What's rogue?
Speaker 1: Rogue? Not bad, but that's just a stripe of white
I know. Yeah, he has an entire area in the
front that is white and rogue superpower touching people to
poison them.
Speaker 2: What a curse.
Speaker 1: She can't ever have sex? What a curse. Guys will
risk it, though, they'll Hey, you know, we could try. Yeah,
but if I do, I'm definitely gonna kill you.
Speaker 2: Well see what happens. Hey, fate's there to be tested, right,
Not really with this, you'll die well listen, I love you. No,
I think psyclops of and her have a challenging lust
for one another. But anyways, this podcast is not about
X men.
Speaker 1: No mythology, No, it is not or superpowers.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you I want to get your eyes checked
because you think that's norble.
Speaker 1: Hey, I've seen it before. I've seen it before.
Speaker 2: Come on, Okay, come on, you whack it.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about run because I don't want
to like run. But in the back of my mind,
if they did, in fact pay sixty k full freight
for this thing, then another twenty grand on top of
that for three days essentially sleeping on a low grade hotel,
whack up the money. They went on a boat excursion,
they did a little scuba diving, they jumped off that
boat in their wedding dress. What would those cost if
you just did those as tourist activities? What would every
meal cost if you just went to a nice restaurant
and had you served at a restaurant. Does that add
eighty grand for three days? I don't think something. That
being said, I think they should have tipped. I think
their tip was fine. Honestly, it ended up being like
seventy five hundred a day, and it's completely fine. Yeah,
I'm making a case here, but I hope that the
audience doesn't despise me, especially people that work in the
service industry. Half the boat's employees didn't have to lift
a fucking finger for three.
Speaker 2: All we have to do is speak what is in
our hearts. If that is that somebody looks like a
wheelbarrow with peg legs. Then we have to say that,
you know, that's what's on our heart. And somebody may
listen to that and go ooh disgusting, and perhaps we
should corrup those things. But we just have to be
true to I gotta be me, You have to be
all right.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna give it fourteen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't think it was a very good episode.
Can you allow me afford me perhaps my pots and
not forgive me? What does your fucking hat say? Dirt men,
dirt don't lie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's one of my favorite vineyards up and sold them.
Speaker 2: I'm about to say something gross. You know this Maccabee
Dynasty show, everybody's wanting to watch some of the weird,
just blockheaded, weird looking people. You know what I'm talking. Yes,
they're their Their countenances make me uncomfortable if I look
at it for two long, I'm just what are we doing?
Speaker 1: The lead guy was on ab show last year called
Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? He was guy and
another guy who was poor, and the ladies had to
figure out who was the millionaire or not. One of
them drove a helicopter hmm. I wonder where the millionaire is.
Speaker 2: The lead guy, like the son of the maccabeede. Honesty. Yeah,
are they millionaires or are they just like no clue
I thought In a recent episode, I saw a trailer
where they're filing for bankruptcy. Yeah, they're there. They might
as well be PK. You know, but with land, the
only thing you can't make more of so is dirt.
It's dirt, dirt, don't lie. I hated this episode. I
don't like when we don't get off the dock. I
need the waves, I need the ocean breeze. I need movement.
Speaker 1: You didn't like the deliberation of Ron and his buddy Doug, like, hey,
it's not a reflection if we fucking dine and dash out.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was fine with it, but I mean, uh Patrick,
two different minds, two different opinions. I didn't like the
episode zero pots. Fine, yep, take that, bitch. Take that,
you bitch.
Speaker 1: Can I start us off?
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course you can.
Speaker 1: Okay, this crew is tearing itself apart. Okay, we got
Ole who's jealous and mad at Jess who is completely enjoying. Uh,
sole a be miserable and then Simultaneously, we have Stilly
aka Kyle uh now thinks that he can't trust Damo
because uh, he can't tell him any of his secrets.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: And I want to point out to Stilly that it's
worth menaging. You told every human being alive on this
boat that you had sex with Helen.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You told the urine on that bathroom floor that you
banged that strange girl, Yeah, that you banged Hellent.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And the urine was like, what was confused? Yeah,
the the urine was like, I'm sorry, you're you're you're
on top of me right now. You're not even acknowledging
that I may have a sentience, and and and now
you're trying to whisper rumors to me, which is kind
of a soft acknowledgement. Rude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you're inside another girl, right right right.
And by the way, if you think that joke's hackey,
jellyfish don't have brains and they are beautiful creatures in
the ocean.
Speaker 2: Oh, by the way, my wife. Don't out my wife,
but I mean she was watching last night and you know,
our lovely Martini went with Kyle to the bathroom started
having sex on the ground. And I was like, oh god,
what the fuck? I was like, hey, she's a free spirit.
She was like, ugh, I guess, Oh my god, I
love that free spirit. Yeah, she's she is a free spirit.
Soaked in pissed right now. Listen, when you're young, you
can do crazy things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we all did.
Speaker 2: We did things we're not proud of, you know. All Right,
So I don't know what these sea rats are confused about.
Kyle is suspicious of Demo for speaking to Fraser, and
now Kyle is saying that he needs to be leery
or careful of his alliance. Uh, what are you on
survivor what? What do you think? This is your fucking
sea rats? How many times are the are the these
these this species going to be confused that they are
not capable of accessing loyalty.
Speaker 1: We'll get to that later.
Speaker 2: I mean, goodness, gracious, we have a lot of dietary
restrictions this episode. Anthony has been doing a great job
all season. Uh he is. I'll say that Anthony's been
doing a great job all season. God. Remember we kick
things off with that Christian fella, remember him? No, it
was it was this season this season was speaking of Uh,
the the armageddon that would come. Oh wow, you remember revelations?
Speaker 1: You know. I always have to empty my brain so
that I can absorb.
Speaker 2: You have a bit of a drinking problem, Well that too, Yeah, yeah,
I have a pot problem. It does the same thing.
That's why you know, uh, you know, see rats that
we talked to and fans will be like, do you remember? No,
we have addiction issues that wipe our memories.
Speaker 1: There's girls that I dated for like two years. I
can't remember their names.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's you know.
Speaker 1: I want to say something about these restrictions. I don't
think a vegetarian has to have turtle soup or something
like that. But you're on vacation, you know what I mean? Like, no,
I don't leave the restrictions at home if it's not
going to kill you, Like it's not some fucking onion
that will make your face all puffy and your nose.
Speaker 2: Explode or onions are wont to do that, right, enjoy yourself.
Why don't you keep vamping. I'm just gonna really quickly
take care of something around the studio. Go go ahead.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Well, meanwhile, Hugo boss quote unquote her words,
Jess saves her from an awkward conversation with Ole that
she initiated. Jess is young, but I want to point
something out about Jess, and I'm going to get a
lot of shit for this. She engages in the behavior
of the opposite sex, which we deem a fuck boy.
I'm starting something new. It's a real trend. I'm gonna
call her a fuck girl. Hashtag fuck girl. It started here.
There's still a room and still time to start new things. Yeah,
hashtag fucker Yeah. Yeah, people are starting to is more
like Ole than she has barbs. If you really think
about it. She doesn't care about people's feelings. She gets
off on creating drama.
Speaker 2: She's a fuck girl.
Speaker 1: She's a fuck girl. Yeah, hashtag fuck girl. You know,
I really got some some traction when I started one,
the last one I did like eight years ago. No
more single mothers on the Bachelor hashtag right, Yeah, that trended,
you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah? In what way?
Speaker 1: A lot of people were sharing it. That's what hashtags do.
In what way they hashtag? They Actually I'm gonna make
any of this year. I don't understand how hashtags work.
Speaker 2: Sure, I don't think you understand how trending works. I
don't think you understand how virality works. Really anything on
the Internet you're not too confident with. But I do
thank you having Nack for branding, branding the mores of
this world. I mean, here you are seeing a new
creation of social more the fuck girl. I mean this
is a fuck girl started people hashtag fuck girl, hashtag
fuck girl, and Hugo says, listen, you know you can't
go you can't going around fuck girling like this. He's like,
you have to stop fuck girling like this. But Kyle
and Seline, we'll get a little bit of a Meanwhile, here, Rainbow,
I gotta say, Rainbow is really coming into her own.
She's finding her flirtation with Damo. Not that that is
her coming into her own, but there's a little bit
more liveliness with Rainbow, whereas in the beginning of the
season she was just kind of lamenting the fact that
she had murdered her sisters and that she was stressed
out at work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and those If you watch the trailer for next
week's episode, she reflects back to that blood soak sand
of that dead island that she lived on for a while,
and she killed her sisters, and she threatens violence against.
Speaker 2: Ola yeah, I mean Rainbow. Next week will break down
the textural change to stand when it's soaked in blood
and how it kind of turns into a more I
don't know, a pasty kind of sticky thing. You can
mold it into shit, Yeah you can, you can. So
Kyle and Slaine makeup. Kyle apologizes for saying that the
girl he banged on a pists soaked and pupe soaked
floor is better and bad than her, and she's like,
it's okay, yeah, sorry.
Speaker 1: If he really wanted her feelings, he should have said
it was better with Helen.
Speaker 2: You know. Yeah again, I let that building on fire.
Did you just kidding?
Speaker 1: Just kidding? Get it again at the end of this
episode when he makes that very awkward toast.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Kyle is the villain. Kyle is? Kyle is?
Speaker 1: You know what?
Speaker 2: We mocked Damo for saying that Kyle's reminded him of
a friend who was spired and that's what sea rets do.
They flee in the spiral, and they flee in the spiral,
so we were like, what are you talking about? But
I think Damo did recognize a pattern. Kyle is not
doing well.
Speaker 1: I thought Damo was stepping way out of his zone
by announcing that, and now I'm seeing what he saw.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So Ron and the gang make it aboard. The
hair is ade job, and if it's okay, I don't
think it's possible for it to be real, not because
of the patterning, but because of the contrast, and less
of the contrast and more the hue of the black.
Now the black in the back is black in the back.
The black in the back is kind of a xenomorphic
universal black, something that doesn't exist on planet Earth. It's
a darkness that was manufactured in labs in Switzerland and Afar.
It's one of the darkest heads of hair I've ever
seen in my life. And on a man that age
with a little stripe in the front that silver, I
have to think that he is melting down tires and
putting it on top of his head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it looks like black paint or tar. Yeah. I
will say this. Howard Stern, who has one hundred and
twenty thousand listeners average, he showed Howard, we're pretty close
to you a fucker, ye anyway, and he's getting a
hundred million a year, but not anymore. He has continually
said that he does not dye his hair, and I
think he's saying that because he's not lying. He's wearing
a wig that old fot you think, so, yes, you
can't have jet black hair and be seventy five years old.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you do think it's a dye job for
Ron or Howard?
Speaker 1: Ron, why would you leave that white in the front.
Speaker 2: The good news is that it really doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: But I do want to say this though. When they
arrive on the boat, we's kind of gloss over this.
But you know, Kyle, he's losing his mind. But he's
also like completely obsessed with the fact that he can't
hang out with the charter guests. And so as a result,
when the charter guest that Denise shows up, who's way
too hot for Ron by the way, he he whispers
in every single female's charter guess, yeah, I can't slip
it in captain's orders.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it was it was confusing for everyone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but some of them took it pretty well. They
were like, oh, oh, I see what you mean. That's okay,
that's okay, Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I can't to Kyle, I would say it's okay to
speak to the women and the charter guests. You just
can't fuck them and uh, he doesn't.
Speaker 1: Seem to understand the yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, people say, fine line. There are
thick lines though, again back to social Mores, there are very,
very very thick lines in this life, and that's one
of them. There's a lot of room between talking and fucking,
you know what I mean, Yeah, slipping it in. Hey, everyone,
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Speaker 1: I'm telling you, man, I took a strawberry gummy, strawberry
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code bad TV. All right, so Barbara and Sulin have
a chat, Babs and Jess. I gotta say they're making
fatal errors. Well, I should bat hosting. One of the
reasons why I didn't like this episode is because I
don't like dealing with boat shit the boat. The boat,
to me is a narrative vessel. It's a literary device.
It takes us through the sequences of the episode. I
don't want to know about the ins and outs, the ropes,
the pulleys, the mechanisms and brain of the boat. I
don't care.
Speaker 1: Okay, this I can do with parking the boat, the
boat leaving the dock, I could do with it.
Speaker 2: Well, So Captain Carrey says, there's something wrong with it,
Brian and the ship, and if all I can't fucking
uh auto and I something's wrong with it?
Speaker 1: Can I say something about these boats?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, you imagine the headache of owning one of
these things.
Speaker 1: What's with all the issues this this thing's like six
million dollars. Well it's not like it's a fucking used
lawn moment, now I know. But that's the thing with
this thing starting.
Speaker 2: That's the thing with all of it. It's like it's
and and if you rewind, I just said the sentence.
That's the thing with all of it, so super vague.
But from my poor, poor vantage point, I'm just down
here going, oh, I wish I could take out loans
against my liquid as that's you know, like sure, sure,
the more expensive the piece of machinery, the higher room
for error.
Speaker 1: Think about race cars.
Speaker 2: Think about race cars, Think about ferraries, think about Aston Martin's,
think about yachts. There are all these fucking things that
can go wrong, and so were we to strike it
rich one day we've we go to purchase a lottery
ticket and the person in front of us scans his
and goes, I want we knock him the fuck out
and then chop them up like Robert, Well we don't.
We just hide him somewhere and then we take his
and then we get really really, I still wouldn't get
a yacht.
Speaker 1: Here's my theory. Yeah, we too much technology being integrated
too early, that it doesn't work yet, you know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Take it easy, Terminator, You'll fuck us in the ass
in the future. Go back to wood.
Speaker 1: I want to shift that the Pilgrims came over here
on right, I just want to fucking loader in the
back of a fucking Pilgrim boat. I want to come
over on the Mayflower. That's what I'll own, you know. Yeah,
give us the pinta in the Santa Maria.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So back to Barbara and Jess. They're making
a fatal error because they're seeding too much heartbreak to Celent. Now,
this is what you have to do. So Lena is
the bully. Soelena is the puppeteer in the ring leader,
in the sex addict. Okay, she is the one who
is perhaps not out to hurt but but I think
she cares ruffles, right, So she's the one of the wrong.
If you rubber back too aggressively and let's say, finger
bang each other directly underneath her bone, right, you see
the emotional power back to her, and just keep it steady.
That's all you have to do. Don't be super offensive
towards her. Just move on. And the reason why they
don't is because it's pointed from fuck Girl's right. The
reason why they don't is because this is a tactic
being used and deployed from fuck Girl.
Speaker 1: Why is Barbara being taken into this rouge?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know the one time I ever.
Speaker 2: And it's ruse and you've said rouge for rouge.
Speaker 1: Okay, the one time I ever cut someone off. It
was a girl that had cheated on me.
Speaker 2: Oh you're talking about emotionally, not in traffic.
Speaker 1: Look, she had cheated on me with every single player
of the football team, that's right. And when I found
that out, I said I will never talk to you again.
And I meant it.
Speaker 2: He meant it. And that woman turned out to be
Jenny Lewis of Rylo Kylie and and other things. Ye,
so listen to Starcross Lovers. Barbara is being used. Now.
Carrie goes to tell the heads of department what no, no, no,
But what what was the nickname you gave him? Corella Deville?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, boy, that's not hard to remember. It's right
in front of your fuck Okay, he's a man.
Speaker 2: So can we call him Kuello Deville?
Speaker 1: Corrello Deville? Yeah, I like it, do you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So he goes to tell Coroelati.
Speaker 1: Well, first he tells the heads of department, we're fucked.
Speaker 2: We fucked the bright Ston wackon.
Speaker 1: He tells Corrello Deville, you're fucked.
Speaker 2: And he goes, you guys are now in the magical
hands of my chef whose uncle took his Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now, I want to say this, this is the first
time ever we've heard a discount from the boat owners discussed,
and it's discussed multiple times, and it's it's a conversation
that needs to at least be had.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, or touched upon. But listen, First up, we
have lunch and it's octopus with flowers strue and haphazardly
across the plate. They do some kind of maneuver which
and meanwhile, the one of the big issues that I
have with this episode is, excuse me they did? Did
you hear that? What? It was? A soft escape of
cass Oh, I'm not proud of it, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Well, dyl this is where we're two different people. I
don't judge people for natural things that come out of
their body.
Speaker 2: Do you do you think people are disgusting for all
of the things they do with their body externally or internally.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I only talk about it on this podcast.
I don't say it to their face. I say it
behind their back, which is way more mature.
Speaker 2: I think so too. Keep grabbing that calf down, buddy. Okay.
So the issue I had with this episode was that
they just didn't give us enough of any one thing.
I mean, lunches, that bowl, that bowl, dinner is pasta
and a cake, and then we speed through the second day.
It's just like we were just knocking dominoes over this episode.
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I agree with that.
Speaker 2: So we do this maneuver again. Boat stuff. Yeah, you
know what, how many pots did I give it zero?
Speaker 1: You gave it zero?
Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna give it zero, okay.
Speaker 1: Uh and then correll O Deville he looks especially bitchy
upon hearing this, and then Fraser realizes they really need
to up the service. And I would just spare Fraser this.
All the expresso Martinis in the world are not going
to create ocean.
Speaker 2: You know, m.
Speaker 1: They paid to be out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, you know there's.
Speaker 1: Another Expresso Martini.
Speaker 2: The ocean is one of the most difficult things to plaate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, how about a Champagne sunset cruise.
Speaker 2: Would love it, would absolutely love it. But this maneuvering thing,
we're we're stretching the ropes out right, that all the
stuff of the exterior didn't make any sense to me
oither and they didn't really explain what was going on.
Speaker 1: So that's why they should have done a from above, Yes,
show us what was staky playing right right?
Speaker 2: Right, So we pulled the boat out. Carrie's like, he's
fucking ripes right, you fucking kill somebody, right, But they
didn't do that. They were just stretching and then they
stretched enough so that they could get all the stuff out.
Now they get all the stuff out, but then once
the stuff is out, they're like, well, we can't put
any of the things out. But it's not clearly conveyed
why it was just a bunch of nuns and they
take them on a sunset crew.
Speaker 1: I never would have I did not understand how they
could have gotten them jet skiing in that area. There's
a million boats, there's a lot of traffic. Made no
sense to me.
Speaker 2: I agree with you. So Anthony is spiraling. He knows
not what to do. There are two many dietary restrictions,
but our boy Anthony will pull it out first.
Speaker 1: Well, I was gonna say, yeah, the walls are closing
in and we've seen this before that that's when they
start talking, and it's just a matter of time before
the chefy starts to spiral into madness. And it didn't
happen at this very moment, but of course it happens
later in the episode. The seeds are planted. He's a nutbag.
I have to stay on a personal level. I don't
like him.
Speaker 2: Oh really, he's a sweet guy, you think, so too sweet?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's also a erratic and combative.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean listen, when you set precedence in life,
the patterns follow, right, So what you doing that for?
Speaker 1: Well, I thought you're gonna say, the precedent of is
his ex wife banging his uncle.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, but that is a consequence of the
president's set right. So when you're too nice and you're
a bit of a dormat kind of a person, what
do people do with dormats? They step on them, right,
And and just like that pissed that doornet. That doormat
has feelings too, and that doormat thinks, you know, hey,
maybe one day I'd like to step on somebody else,
you know, and then they get erratic neurotic. There are
schisms psychlically.
Speaker 1: I think everybody was perfectly polite and professional with him
this entire charter, and I think he was being, uh
over dramatic.
Speaker 2: We'll see. But we get to Kyle and a little
sea rat history. He tells his grandma that he almost
got fired.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He calls his grammy and he to say that
he underplayed the actual reality of what took place.
Speaker 2: You will have been proud, grandma, I thought, Uh.
Speaker 1: Gon, we get a little sea rat history from from
Kyle here. Yeah, are you all sitting down? A Kyle
was raised by a single mother. Okay, it could have
been worse to him been raised by Chef Anthony's uncle. Hey, uncle,
why is my girlfriend's i'd wear in your room?
Speaker 2: Don't worry about that. Did you do your homework? Why
are you asking me if I've done it? You've never
asked me if I'm doing my homework. Feels like a
diversion tactic. Let's get back to it. Why is my
girlfriend's underwear in here? Oh? I fucked her? Go do
your homework. See, yeah, I no bad guys, bad guys.
Let's get to dinner. Captain Carrey is joining them. He
has to do what he can to kind of bring
the level of this vacation up, and that is going
to be achieved by gracing them with his presence. They
did request him. Now, first up as a black Truffle Carbonara,
and I gotta say, Carrie's really knocked out of the
park with these guys. They're like, it's your.
Speaker 1: Favorite boat and this one I like.
Speaker 2: Captain carry is the band. So next dish is a
chocolate cake called Stoked for the Soaks.
Speaker 1: I think their last name is Stokes.
Speaker 2: Thank you. I want to say this because that that
name didn't make sense.
Speaker 1: Now, desserts in general, I don't think ever need to
be I mean, it's it's a cake, okay, flour, eggs, butter,
cook it in the oven, right.
Speaker 2: Not being very reductive about the art of baking. But
am I extremely you bake a cake like does hee
you try to bake a cake?
Speaker 1: I'll tell you something. I'm never buying a cake from
Ralph's grocery store again. That's what I thought. I was
getting a cookies and cream cake for Quentin's birthday party.
You know he's fucking too he doesn't give a shit,
But the family members cared. That thing was dry. You
could tell it had no love in it.
Speaker 2: This is what I'm saying. What you just reduced this
process down, this ritualistic kind of practice down into is
what you'd get from Ralph's, this brick of to do,
you know, I mean, just box his check. No presence
with the dessert at all. And that's why you go
to Susie Cakes. You'll get a moist bunt cake.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this about Susie Cakes, all right. Everything
tastes good when you put three pounds of butter in it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, and that's there and everything bus everything
tastes good when you pay eighty dollars for a fucking
birthday cake. You go, oh yeah, this has to taste
good otherwise I'll fucking kill myself. Because it's not just
about me spending eighty dollars on a birthday cake. It's
about the world we live in and how we I've
all bought into the past. Susie Cake La is the
dumbest place in the world. Everyone's just like, this pizza
is nine to fifty, This slice of cheese pizza. Why
are you.
Speaker 1: Waiting outside a coffee shop to get coffee for forty
five minutes because the Internet told you it's cool.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. You don't need let me tell you something.
You don't need a piece of pecan pie in an
iced machio latte. Okay, you need to hug a tree,
root yourself, ground yourself. I mean, what do we do here?
Did you say pea CAMPI yeah, they're throwing all I
told you, mach just having a moment right now. I
don't know what we're doing here. I've told you so
many times we need to go get land somewhere. But
you don't want to move to the East Coast because
it's too cold. You want to live in the fucking
four corners of the United States, one of the most
haunted grounds of this country. There's spent so much blood
spilled there.
Speaker 1: Anyways, Dylan's moving a thousand oaks.
Speaker 2: Not yet. I'm still fighting. There's a lot of a
lot of people that love Ronald Reagan out there, and.
Speaker 1: I just I don't think, oh, Reagan museum.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I could do that. All right,
So we're taking out the trash, or are we? And
I'm not even going to rate that dinner because it
wasn't even at dinner. I don't blame you the exterior,
thank you. The exterior just isn't doing anything. Okay. Now,
I understand that Anthony was having a bit of an erratic,
bit of a melodramatic episode, but this is one of
these things where I do think that he was just ignored,
and I do think that the crew.
Speaker 1: Hold on, Yeah, we had conflicting footage. We have him,
we have him freaking the fuck out, and then you
have h Hugo boss answered the walkie talkie, and then
so let takes the trash out. What's the problem here? People?
Wasn't done on the minute he wanted it done, It
got done. And look there's people to make out with
on this boat.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you know, that's a good point. I think
from his perspective, like Selene's really working her ass off,
she's been helping with dinner service. The exterior hasn't been
doing much but smoking and I don't know dming, you know,
sending the pussy flares out and stuff like that. But
there are pussy flares to send and people to make
out with.
Speaker 1: Of course, yeah, I'll get to your trash when I'm
good and fucking ready.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so leave it alone. Next day, next and we
should say kudos to Celene who once said the word autonomous.
I mean, I don't even I couldn't say the French
version of that, the Spanish version of that if I tried,
you know. And she's also working really hard. She's starting
to like really kind of click.
Speaker 1: Well, let's point it out. She's got a lot of
time on her hands.
Speaker 2: Now, she's not making out with anybody. Next day, next day,
we find out that they paid sixty grand.
Speaker 1: I think these people, especially Corrello Deville, what a fucking
sucker all you had. I think his wife is probably
a fan of Bravo. Denise is a looker. Okay. I
don't know what she's doing with that weirdow, and I
think she probably got in contact with some producer and
they just threw a number out there. Yeah it's sixty grand.
They didn't realize that you could go, we'll fly out
there and we'll come up with the tip. Okay, I
think they did pay sixty k. But I'm the point
I'm making is I think most guests that we've seen
on these boats did not pay sixty thousand dollars.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know it's a cheap vait case kidding, it's
ludicrously expensive.
Speaker 1: But you could have gotten if I talked to Corrello Develle,
I would have said, dude, you can get this lockdown
for like twenty two k Okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Anthony is really getting quite the curt treatment
from the Sea rats. He asks Rainbow how breakfast was
and says that he needs details on what they were
thinking about the the Holland days and whatnot, and she goes,
I don't have time for this fucking bullshit and she
walks out. He goesy, is that don't su what's okay?
Speaker 1: This was my favorite part of the episode, and it
reminded me of a favorite scene from a movie called
Dirty Work, in which this filthy bum asked for a
couple bucks from Norm McDonald's and then starts going into
how we ended up on the streets of Los Angeles.
And this is the scene.
Speaker 2: I think I finally realized just how low I'd sunk.
Is that down she lives with her mom and I
was standing on the sidelines and a cop came up
and asked.
Speaker 1: Me to move along. That's when it hit me.
Speaker 2: Here's your two dollars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, here's your two dollars. Yeah, I don't care.
Speaker 2: You know, it's so funny. I was I was thinking
about norm the other day and he did that. Him
is Sully Sullenberger. He did some bizarre bit on Conan
where he was he was doing a Sully movie too,
after the Tom Hanks version had come out. But it
was just about Sully before the the flight on the Hudson.
It was just him flying planes. Yeah, and he's like, no, no, no,
you don't understand. It's not this is before he landed
that plane on the Hudson. No, there's not a crazy
but he was just a pilot. I miss him.
Speaker 1: I do too, And I love that downy character.
Speaker 2: That downy character is just just sitting in his home
and Rhode Island kind of collecting a check. And I
think reading I think he's a well I don't want
to get into politics or anything, but I think he's
a kind of a I think him and Dennis Miller
have a lot in com.
Speaker 1: Oh do that? Yeah, okay, yeah, interesting. Came up with
a lot of great bits on Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 2: I forgot my Lucky's stabbing hat yeah, that was a
great one. Okay, so sorry lunch chicken pat tie, chicken
pet tie. No, I didn't see chicken patie.
Speaker 1: That's not what that was.
Speaker 2: You don't serve pet tie. And I hollowed out of pineapple.
It's never done.
Speaker 1: I think he did though.
Speaker 2: It's not chicken toarry. It was a chicken pet tie,
I think. So okay. There's a famous clip of Gordon
Ramsey cooking pet tie for a Thai chef and the
Thai chef tastes it after Gordon's gone through you know
how Gordon does. He dances through a recipe.
Speaker 3: Off the heat, you know, beautiful blissed tomatoes, mushrooms, and
he goes through this whole gauntlet of cooking his pet
tie and he serves it to the Thai chef and
the Thai chef looks at him and.
Speaker 2: He says, this is disgusting. It's not pet tie at all,
and you've failed this. This is orange chicken, this is
not even this is This looked like lacquered lumps of
dead bird with no fish sauce, no line, no no, no,
no bean spread. So it was it was something you
would get at Panda Express. I cannot believe this was
called pet tie. Yeah, oh my god, crazy. Thanks for hey,
thanks for bringing that to my attention.
Speaker 1: Welcome.
Speaker 2: All right, so we really whipped through the day. We
get to the seventies dinner. We're gonna do Wellington beef, plantain, lobster.
The episode, as I mentioned, didn't take time with anything.
It was it was it's tough for.
Speaker 1: You to analyze.
Speaker 2: It was caught at a TikTok's pace, right, Damo says
nice ass to Rainbow, and we wake for the third
day of the charter. Now Kyle wakes with an awkward
feeling in his stomach.
Speaker 1: He's bombed. He can't slip it in anymore.
Speaker 2: And again we talked about the thick line. You know
that uh, you know that plot of land in between
North and South Korea that's littered with land mines.
Speaker 1: I believe that's called the no zone, the nose demilitarized zone.
Speaker 2: So if we look at what if we if we
put slipping it in and saying hi on either ends,
there are so many little landmines you can what right,
So grabbing a tit right wouldn't quite be slipping it in,
but that you'll blow your leg off if you're at it.
You see what I'm saying, and it's definitely forced. But Kyle,
I'm very worried about him. I'm very worried about the
young man. Now, this was filmed a year ago, so
he could be.
Speaker 1: Man him after he did it. Oh did we really?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay, I actually asked him in these are private conversations,
I said, did you ever sleep with a charter guests?
And he answered that question that day?
Speaker 2: He did answer, and then we went out for drinks.
Speaker 1: But I'll keep that to myself.
Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah, yeah, I love a secret. I know you
love a secret. You are not good at keeping them?
Speaker 1: I am right now.
Speaker 2: What does that mean? I am right now?
Speaker 1: Did he sleep with hell and or not?
Speaker 2: I know it. Being good at keeping secrets is not
a current status thing. It is a It is a principle.
Speaker 1: Oh I thought it was case by case basis.
Speaker 2: No, definitely not. I'm really good at keeping secrets. I
will go to the fucking grave with shit. You know,
I can you tell me anything you want? You tell me?
You don't tell anybody. I won't tell anybody. Really, Nope.
My wife constantly gives me shit, why won't you tell
me it's not yours to know. It's not yours to know. Wow,
and you tell your wife everything correct?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think so, maybe some embarrassing stuff. What's like
what I don't know, the things that happen during the day.
Speaker 2: You're gay? No, honey, this is really embarrassing. But uh,
I'm a homosexual.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm sorry for that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so let's move on to Kyle and Jess,
who have a chat.
Speaker 1: Well, I was gonna say this is when Rob and
Doug have that pow wow and it the line comes up,
no tip is a isn't a reflection?
Speaker 2: Yes? So sorry, I moved ahead about the circumstance. There's
a moment that I'm really excited to get to where
where Kyle tells Jess that he loves drinking. But before
we before we get there, yes, Ron and dog Ron
and Doug Cruello de Ville and Doug o Ron whichever
they are, have this conversation and then he approaches Carrie
and goes, listen, we we didn't got the boat, so
what are we gonna do here? And carry goes, well,
I mean, what are you talking about? You still got
to take care of the crew. If I was Cruello,
I would have been like, what the fuck are you
talking about? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: All right, So I want to say this about Corilla
till there's something about you I don't like on a
deep level. That being said, I think you were perfectly
in your right and I actually respect you more for
approaching the captain about this and having a polite conversation
about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's my that's Patty's I think you don't.
Speaker 2: Like Cruello because Crollo has the vibe of, like you
know when you watch poker on TV and people kind
of chopping it up, and then there's that one guy
in like Oakley sunglasses who's just not speaking to anybody. Right,
I'm getting that kind of vibe from cruel Oh really
yeah yeah, wow weirdo. No sorry, Corella is nice guy.
Like we discussed Kyle.
Speaker 1: He's having an existential crisis here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he loves to fucking booze.
Speaker 1: Well you think they cut off his wang, Dude, they
asked you to not have sex with a charter guests
in front of their husbands anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So listen, we have sandwiches to get to.
These sea rats have to eat now Anthony once again
gets ship for not serving enough food, and Damo, upon
receiving the sandwiches, goes ugh sea rats will chew through
copper wire if things are bad enough. Okay, so I
don't understand what the snooty two dy attitude about this.
Speaker 1: I'd also argue, Damo, you haven't had to lift a
god him finger for three days. I mean, I think
you could probably even walk off the boat during your
break and go get a snack down the street.
Speaker 2: Damo, eat the sandwich.
Speaker 1: That being said, Cheffy is an erratic idiot, and he
totally overblew this.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I would just say, you know, he
eat the sandwich. See round. Okay, some meals are going
to be better than others. All right, we get to
the guest departing and we get to the tip meeting. Now,
the tip meeting is a very very tense one, right
because we don't know what we're going to get from
Cruello in the gang. But also if one person says
anything about lunch to Chef Anthony, he's gonna cry and
scream and throw paper towels.
Speaker 1: I love that it was Barbara that asked, Hey, when's
lunch that's I'm out of here. Hey, she didn't have
sex with your ex wife, dude a lack?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know right, and she could have, by the way,
you know, I think Barbara is beautiful. And last night
we were watching ble a Deck and I let it
slip a little bit too much in front of the way.
She goes, she's that hair is crazy. I was like,
oh my god, that hair, and Cecy goes, Jesus, what
do you mean that hair? What? I just think she
has beautiful hair.
Speaker 1: You're lucky. I wasn't watching TV in that bed with you.
I would go like, what's with the hair? She looks
like Louis the fucking fourteenth? Does she haven't mirror?
Speaker 2: She has sexy? It looks ridiculously Okay, So Anthony once
again flips out fru yeah. But he is eventually called
back to the top and Jess is very sweet to him,
and so it was frasier and they get up to
find that their tip is only what.
Speaker 1: Nineteen k and uh I think Olesa La calls him
cheap ups.
Speaker 2: I think Kyle's the only one in the right frame
of mine here.
Speaker 1: Fuck it, I'm glad to get anything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. But also like I understand him coming from
an exterior place, Like the only thing they did was
scooch the boat out so that they could open stuff
up and then not put anything out. That's when they
just slept the rest of the time. So Kyle's really happy,
but I can understand why interior is a little pissed.
But listen, we get a great lunch, chicken, tacos something.
Speaker 1: Well, that's when Kyle goes and visits a familiar friend.
Speaker 2: An old friend, an old Scotch whiskey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me tell Kyle something. And it's something that
I learned a long time ago. The answer to your
problems is not at the bottom of that bottle, my friend.
Speaker 2: But it might be so sip away. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Ah. That crew dinner and that speech, that.
Speaker 2: Was dude, that was it. There was a fear and
loathing package of him swirling Johnny Walker Black around debating
whether or not it was so weird. So so we
have this this very like magically real. That's not the
It was a trippy montage of him debating whether or
not to drink. It was like a fever dream. And
then we just snapped back to reality and Hugo Boss
is sitting with him, and Damo's standing there with his
cockout and they're all just drinking.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a night out, but he got you
gotta an early start, let's say. Yeah, And much like
a thermometer, like it gets it at red point when
it gets hot. Always look at Kyle's nose. Sure it
gets redder. The drunker he does. Yeah, he looks like
fucking Rudolph.
Speaker 2: Well, Rudolph turns into quite the villain. I would say blitzen.
He's more like blitzing because he decides that he is
going to make a speech at this table, saying that again,
I was on that plane.
Speaker 1: Which I want to Yeah, you were you though maybe
I wasn't, but if I was, yeah, you guys didn't
catch me rights even though you tried.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he says, I think I got away with something.
I'm happy to have gotten away with something. And then
he pulled the he essentially pulls the the kind of
the reverse Scooby Doo. Right, So so he goes, I
did get away with something, and it would have been
that what what of the what did the ghost robbers say?
It's Scooby do I would have gotten away with it.
Speaker 1: I would have gotten away with it. It wasn't for you,
pesky kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so he he got away with it, but
pesky Fraser attempted to take him down.
Speaker 1: Kyle is.
Speaker 2: In Listen. We've seen drunks just go out and have
a good time, right when and I went out emotionally
kind of fractured place.
Speaker 1: I have an admission. We went out for drinks with
him after we pot it with him last year. You
left early to go do something. I went to another
bar with him. I'm the one that got wasted and
he was the normal one. I felt like a douchebag.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I'm sure you both
tied a couple long.
Speaker 1: He maybe can hold his liquor better than I can. Really, Yeah,
we did a couple of shots at tequila, and I
was fucking out of my mind.
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, if I do tequila shots, I mean, man,
my butthole will fall out of my body. To get
in the comments, let us know what you thought about
the episode. Five stars, kind words, traders at Patreon dot com,
slash on another podcast network, We love you very much.
I'm built to say good by Pat's sake.
Speaker 1: By y