Speaker 1: The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, presenting America's favorite young couple,
Ozzie Nelson and Harriet Jail. And now let's see what's
going on in the Nelson family.
Speaker 2: What are you writing, Derek? Huh? Just a letter? Is
it a secret? No? No, it's it's no secret. It's
just a letter.
Speaker 3: Oh that's different.
Speaker 2: Anyone I know? No, Dear, would you mind not speaking
to me for just a couple of minutes. I'm trying
to concentrate you. Oh, I'm Are you looking for something,
dere Yes? Have you seen the dictionary? What word do
you want to how to spell?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 2: I know how to spell it. I just want to
make sure i'm right. Where is that dictionary? Well? What's
the word? I don't know whether you've even heard of it.
It's demagogue? Oh, demod e M A g O g
u e. Harriet, let's not guess, shall we? Oh? Let's
see C C C all right, dell to magnetize a demagogue?
D E M A g O g u e. What
did I tell you, Harriet? Please? I knew how to
spell the word, had it written down. As a matter
of fact, it's one of double checks. What are you
looking for now have you seen my eraser? That's what
happened two nights ago, and that brings us right up
to date. Now let's see where were we. Oh yeah,
they're at breakfast, and Harriet says Ozzie.
Speaker 3: I wish you'd put down that taper and drink your
coffee in just.
Speaker 2: A minute, Dear, I just wanted Oh oh uh, I
say Harriet, Yes, dear, listen to this. I just happened
to stumble across it here in letters to the editor.
Would you get to hear it? Your coffee is getting cold,
dear sir. Recent surveys show that an alarming number of
voters are shirking their duties by failing to register for
the coming election. This is indeed, good morning, Ricky. Sit
down when you're Ricky. There's something here I want to
read to your mother. Dear Sirs, recent surveys, Ricky, do
you have to crunch on that coast this very minute
trying to read something to your mother? Dear Sirs. Recent
surveys show that an alarming number of voters are shirking
their duties by failing to register for.
Speaker 4: The Good morning, there David did to terms breakfast this morning?
Speaker 2: No wonder you didn't call me your here, good morning, David.
Sit down, would you please? Where was that? Oh? Oh? Yes,
this is a tragic commentary on the David. Please, the
mother is very anxious to hear a certain article I'm
trying to read to her. This is a tragic commentary
on the decline of civic responsibility. These citizens who failed
to register are guilty of negligence and indifference to public duty.
You know, boys, I think we could get along better.
There wasn't quite so much Catlin, Harriet, do you or
do you not want to hear this? But I do. Dear,
go ahead, I'm listening. I'm possible for you to talk
to the boys and hear what I'm reading. At the
same time, those citizens who fail to register are guilty
of moral negligence and indifference to public duties. Our most
precious right must be exercised. We must protect our traditional principles.
The principle at my school is mis covid. That's fine, Ricky,
I'll be through in just a moment. Otherwise we abandon
true democracy for the rule of selfish demogogue. Demod yes, demogogue.
Responsible citizens register and vote in the coming election. What
do you think of it, but I think it's positive grillion.
Guess who wrote it?
Speaker 4: See George Bernard Shaw, no, Secretary of State burn No, Ozzie.
Speaker 2: Nelson, Absolutely correct, there is see Ozzie Nelson. See there
it is boys. Your brother's name, sweet our toes? Now
is that all the impression that makes when I get
my name in the paper? Is that good?
Speaker 3: You know that Jack of saniel a little thornberry.
Speaker 2: He had his six on the paper last night. Igure.
We're very proud of you. It's an excellent letter, Thank you, dear.
You know something, Harriet, Writing for your newspaper can be
a valuable public service, especially when a man has the
ability to express himself with clarity and force. That's true.
There's some more toast o, yes, thank you. Goodness knows
there are plenty of issues that are confusing the public
right now.
Speaker 4: I think I'll get some incisions and cut that article
out for us forget.
Speaker 2: Oh what for, Harriet? Well, I want to stave. It's
the show up. It's not worth talking about it. What
is it? I just happened to write an ordinary letter
reminding the people to get out and register and vote.
So what was that? Did you hear? Something hit against
the front door. Oh, yes, I think it was just
the morning paper, but we already got our papers. Oh.
I kind of figured that my letter might be in
the paper today, so I asked the boy to ride
back and get a few extra for it. But I
only heard one head. Again. I thought you might want
to send a copy to your mother and my mother,
and maybe I better get the papers. I'm answering it
now there, Oh, good morning, good morning.
Speaker 5: Indeed, have I the privilege of addressing mister Rawsey knows
that's right.
Speaker 2: It is a privilege to meet you with out. My
name is Pennyfeather, Penny Pepper. Here is my car. Thank you. Ah,
I see you're a chairman of the Citizens Political Pressure Committee.
I have that privilege.
Speaker 5: I have the privilege of reading your letter in this
morning's paper, and I want to tell you, sir, I
consider it a privilege to meet you in person.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you. May I have the privilege of coming in.
It's the privilege to please do yes.
Speaker 5: First of all, mister Nelson, a word about our organization.
We are just average citizens.
Speaker 2: The man on the street, the woman in the house,
the group in the gallup poll. Now doesn't know for
a long time.
Speaker 5: We've been called the vote that's gotten out, and frankly,
miss Nelson, we are just pad up with being wielded.
Speaker 2: Yes, but politically speaking, what's your direction in these times?
Who knows? We just put pressure on everybody. First of all, sir,
allow me to congratulate you on the letter you sent
to the paper. Oh it was nothing your inspiration.
Speaker 5: I have a sea, clear, concise thinking, significently presented.
Speaker 2: Take the one with the cushion. Thank you.
Speaker 5: Any comfortable in desa, missus Nelson, I might as well
get right down to business. At our committee meeting this afternoon,
your letter to the editor was read, and it was
the guested that I pay you a visit and get
to know you a little better.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't quite understand the out of course you're wondering,
mister Nelson.
Speaker 5: The Citizens Committee is most particular about the character of
any candidate whom it's buzzed candidate. Your letters of the
newspaper indicated that you are a man with a deep
sense of civic responsibility. You, Missus Nelson, are the kind
of man a committee likes to present to the textpayer.
Speaker 2: But mister Pennyway Anny Father, I mean mister Pennifeather, do
you mean what I think you do? We are considering
user or the office of Public Protective Executive Custodia under
Abbada Public Executive Protective Custodian Public Protective Executive. Well, this
is a great honor. I don't know what to say.
Your name was only suggested. You understand. I was appointed
to see you and decide if you were well, sort
of look you over if you don't mind, not at all,
thank you, Hm, I didn't have time to shave this morning,
but I used to be all right, Yes, hmm, missus.
Speaker 5: Nosan, Yes, I know, of course that from your letter
you are aware of the tremendous responsibilities that any man
in public office head.
Speaker 2: Of course, therefore you will not mind if I ask
you a few questions. Not an author? Do you hold
public office? Now? No? No? Have you ever been convicted
of a plidate?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 2: You seem to be just the knife we're looking for. Golly,
I don't know. Do you mind if I call my wife?
Not at all. I'd like to meet her.
Speaker 5: Hey, Harriet, Harriet, We're always curious about the relationship between
a candidate and his wife.
Speaker 2: Harriet. Dear Harriet is mister Featherway, it's any Penny, how
do you do? How do you do? This is Nelson.
We have asked your husband to be a candidate for
public office. Really, yes, for public executive protective Custodia, public
protest executive protect exactly. Well, that sounds wonderful. Now just
a moment, Harriet, you must realize what an important step
this is. Our quiet, peaceful home life here will all
be changed. We live in the public eye, subject always
to criticism, few thanks, long hours. I always thought a
politician's hours were short, not just before elections. Think it over, Harriet,
it's a big step, you know, the old thing politics
make strange. Bedfeather tell you, mister Penny follow Well, what
do you say there? It's pennyfeather question me. I think
it's a great honor, Harriet. Take me by the hand, dear,
we accept the nomination, mister Penny Pincher.
Speaker 5: I'm the Citizens Committee is proud to adults, a man
of all call.
Speaker 2: I shall do my best. You deserve your confidence. With
that energy, you cannot fail. I am an experience, but
I promise you sincerity and honest effort. It's that kind of.
Speaker 4: Man we need it.
Speaker 3: Over and he sell us, you're both on the same side.
Speaker 2: Well, goodbyeman's the public executive protective custody or is it
a protective executive? Oh well, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Min's the
penny feather. It's pennyfeather. Oh oh yes. And if elected,
I promise I shall do my utmost to discharge efficiently
and honestly the duties of the office to which you
haven't trusted me. All right, I'm not through yet. Oh
I'm sorry. Go ahead. I pledge myself to the service
of the people. I pledge every bone and muscle in
my body, every hair on my head, every drop of
blood in my veins. Ozzie, isn't that a little bit strong?
You gott impress him with your sincerity? Well, I know, dear,
but he has to bleed on him. So maybe just
the bone, muscle and hair would be enough. And may I, dear,
I want to find out about lunch. It is every
citizen's duty to register, and both for the candidate of
his choice.
Speaker 4: I mean, you call me mister Nelson.
Speaker 2: And keep out the irresponsible charlottean worthless demagogue.
Speaker 3: I didn't ask to come in. Somebody call me no
glory mister Nelson's just magan a speech.
Speaker 2: I called you to ask you about lunch, Glory. You
langs to know that I'm running for the office of
Public Executive Protective Custodiam.
Speaker 4: Oh that's wonderful, well, thank you, will Stubie are excellent.
Speaker 3: Sounds wonderful. By the way, somebody just delivered this big
book for you, mister.
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, thank you. That's the book, mister Penny for
the promise to send me about the city ordinance is
an organization, by the way, Gloria. I want to say
what you think of the end of my speech, and
I also promise that, if elected, I will leave no
stone unturned. I will use all my energy, my time,
all my waking hours if necessary, to make this office
a model of efficiency and good governments. Oh that's cute.
Speaker 3: I'm sure you being anthy.
Speaker 2: Well, thanks a lot, Gloria. But it isn't such a sense.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm positive you.
Speaker 2: You can't be sure. Some people think my opponent will win.
Speaker 3: Oh, you've got an opponent. That's a little difference.
Speaker 2: But I vote for you. Well, thanks very much, Glory,
But I don't want you to vote to me unless
you think I'm the best man for the job. See,
you have to realize it's the duty of a citizen
not only to register and vote, but also to keep informed,
know all about the candidates and the duties of their office,
and then decide which candidate is capable.
Speaker 4: Yep, I get here right, I should no more, man,
And it's intronouncing you your opponent capable.
Speaker 2: Uh, well, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Who is your opponent?
Speaker 2: Well, he's say, Come to think of it, I didn't ask.
I don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, what are the duties of your office?
Speaker 2: Well you the I'm not sure.
Speaker 4: See I wish I was a candidate instead of a voter.
Then I wouldn't have to know anything either.
Speaker 3: Well, I'll take it over while I get lunch ready. Said,
by the way, Ali, what are you running for? I mean,
what are the duties of this executive detective?
Speaker 2: Frankly, I was just wondering the same thing myself. It's
probably writing this book, Laurie again. Let me see public offices,
masnad i'd said, had something to do with a treasurer's office,
wouldn't you. I was not in that section. Oh, wouldn't
be a minor office like that anyway? And look it
up here close to the mayor. That's all here is
public protective executive custodians. His duties shall consists lunch. Ready, Yet, Dear,
what office is it? Office? Yes, that's what you just
looked up, isn't it. What are the duties of the
office you're running for, Harriet? The particular duties of the
office aren't important after all, there, but what are the duties?
It doesn't matter much what a man does. It's a
fact he's in public service, that he's doing his best
for the people.
Speaker 3: What are you running for?
Speaker 2: Dog catcher?
Speaker 3: Dog catcher?
Speaker 2: Well, head dog catcher. But come on, Ozzie, let's eat lunch.
Are you still going to pass out to guard there? Well,
of course we wouldn't. Dog. This gets me more appropriate, Harriet,
that's a very cheap joke. I don't know. I kind
of like it. The office of head dog Catcher is
a very honorable and historic office, was established in eighteen
seventy four by an Act of the City Council and
has always been filled by honest and upright citizens.
Speaker 3: That's interesting.
Speaker 2: Besides, I can't get out of it.
Speaker 4: But I don't see why you should want, you, dear,
After all, it is a public office.
Speaker 2: And it may be only the beginning for you.
Speaker 3: If you do a good job, maybe you can run
for something.
Speaker 2: Else next year. Say that's right, that's the way to
look at this job as a stepping stone. Who knows
where it could leave, perhaps even to Washington someday. Sure,
from dog house to fight house. Well hoo boy, hi Pop,
what happened? Fellas? Something go wrong in school?
Speaker 3: Tom David might as well tell you, Pop, everything decided
to run for dog catchers.
Speaker 2: All the kids we know what dogs won't speak to. Oh,
so that's it? Not only that, well, Sung Dan's Coca
Daniel won't speak you with either. I'm sorry, Papa. Well,
none of the kids seem to like dog catchers. Not
just a moment, boys, I think you've got this little confused.
You see, I will be the man who goes out
with the net and catches the dog. You won't, no, no,
I'll I'll just be the man who sends the man
out with the net to catch the dogs. Oh that's
not much better, is it? Ha? Please don't be a
dog catcher. Gosh, Fellas, I never realized you felt this
way about it. We want to get a dog of
our own. Well, you can have a dog I'll catch
you with. I mean, I'll buy you a swell dog.
Do you think, just because I'm dog catcher out of
checks to having a dog in the house. No, but
how's the dog gonna feel? Fellas, You've gotta listen to me.
You've got to see my side of it. I like
dogs just as much as you do, and I promise
you I'll be married.
Speaker 7: Hello, Emmy Lou over an as I saw you come
out of the house.
Speaker 2: I heard the news, and I want to tell you
that I'm very proud of you. Oh, thank you, Emmy Lou.
What an honor it is for me to live next
door to you. Oh you're exaggerated. Oh no, I know.
Speaker 4: I can't help thinking how proud I'll be some day
when a mad dog gets loose on main streeting, people's
lives are in dangers until you come along, dashing and
capturing with your bare hands.
Speaker 2: I think they provide gloves. I can see you now,
standing there, facing the mad beast. Slowly you hold off
the can of red heart. He crouches your muscle flex
You're ready to drove the.
Speaker 4: Net over room.
Speaker 3: He goes hands to me.
Speaker 2: He springs at you miss the crowd scattered will do
you right? Well, of course no, mister Nelson, you don't.
As a mad dog's got you by the sleeve.
Speaker 3: Now it's either tearing the fleash off your arm.
Speaker 2: You're just run up into a rock.
Speaker 3: And lets the bound him.
Speaker 2: He's captured and you're a hero. Will't that be wonderful
for the neighborhood? You know? And they, you and the
boys are giving me entirely new picture of this. In fact,
the whole thing gets less appealing by the minute.
Speaker 3: Well do you mean you'd rather not have a job,
mitter Nelson?
Speaker 2: Well, for one thing, David and Ricky and even Harriet
will probably disinherit me if I'm elected. You see, it
seems nobody has much sympathy for dog catchers. We're an
oppressed minority. If that's the way you feel about it,
maybe you'll be lucky and.
Speaker 3: Love the election.
Speaker 2: No, not with my luck. They've already arranged for me
to go out and make speeches and get votes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe the.
Speaker 2: People won't watch your speeches and love vote for you. Yay. Hey,
that's an idea, emy, lou. Maybe I can campaign to
lose votes if I could succeed in making bad enough speeches,
I may lose the election.
Speaker 4: Oh, I've got faith in you, mister Nelson.
Speaker 2: You'll be able to do it. It will be easy
for you. Lou wait, i'll see you light. I'm going
to go prepare a few bad speechures.
Speaker 4: You're wonderful the sacrifice you're making for your family, giving
up what may be a brilliant political career.
Speaker 2: Just think you might be elected dogcatchers as an alderman,
as a mayor, a governor. And then who can tell you?
Speaker 3: My gons the president have your picture taken with thanks, Tonadra,
And so.
Speaker 2: A strange phenomenon takes place. The Rogers wrote, political machine
grinds to a stump and slowly goes into reverse, gradually gather.
Speaker 6: Speed and more speed, every card turning poutly, every nuts
performing his functions, turning out speeture.
Speaker 2: What would I do about loose dogs if I were elected?
I do the same thing the president incumbent would do
about loose dogs if I were the parent incumbent he
were elected. That's what I do about loose dogs if
I were elected, turning out radio programs, Well.
Speaker 3: Got America time to stump the preaching. Tonight's our GUESTI
versus candidate for Doug Ketcher.
Speaker 5: As he listened, mister Nilson, I would like to ask
you questions who were you vote for as Doug Ketcher.
Speaker 2: For my opponent JJJJ O'Mahoney, he is experienced, he is independent.
O mahoney wears no dog's collar, more horse speeches. And
so members of the ladies aide, remember a vote for
me is a vote for inefficiency and corruption and enclosing legionnaires.
Let me remind you again, elect me dog catcher, and
in six months the dogs will be running this out.
Speaker 8: So I say for you, daughters of Carrie Gibson, go
to the polls to borrow and vote for my opponent,
JJJJ o' mahoney.
Speaker 2: Parney political jokes. It has been stated by some irresponsible
scandalmongers that my opponent JJJJ O'Mahoney was once seen pushing
a dog off his lap. This is an unmitigated scandless untrue.
That was no dog. That was his wife, grinding out
dreams of handbills and millboard as.
Speaker 4: Hens in an able canyonade departs the platform of Jane
Jane Jane j o' mahoney. Anesty in Kangrigate carried email
now settling campaign strategy.
Speaker 2: Why should I shake your hand? I don't want your vote? Thegars,
no thanks, I never used. I am calling upon you
for one thing. Get out and vote. But remember, if
I'm elected, this town will go to the dog right
up to election day and election night. When Harriet says
to Ozzie, it's seven o'clock.
Speaker 4: There, why don't you see if some of the returns
are coming in, And when.
Speaker 5: The smoke of battle drifts away, the town will find
in its myths one of the finest political stars in
the history of the city, the cleverest boat getterer of
all time.
Speaker 2: In a very unorthodox, completely nutty campaign.
Speaker 1: This candidate, on the ticket of the Citizens Committee.
Speaker 5: Committee, wept all opposition before him by the novel method
of pretending that he didn't want the job.
Speaker 2: I guess that it proved that nothing captures the heart
of the American public like a good sense of humor.
So that all congratulate, aren't you dogcatcher? Congratulations wherever you are,
mister Rawsie Nelson. That may you if that isn't the
most amazing thing, it's terrible in a way, it's hilariously funny.
I suppose have you tried so hard to get diceated.
What am I going to tell my children? That must
be the committee to put the crown on your head.
Speaker 5: Oh well, mister Pennyfeather, come on, missus Nelson, I hope
you're thoroughly ashamed of yourself. What do you mean to
think's the you, of all people, will do a thing
like that.
Speaker 2: But it would have for that wonderful letter you wrote
to the paper. Do you remember what you said in
that letter? Well, of course, what's that got to do
with the election. That's got to do with the election.
Haven't you heard that I won thirt you one? Yes,
but you've also been disqualified. Disqualified I can't take off
no and all on a technicality too, Miss that else
you forgot her, righteouster. It's posible he forgot your regis?
How did you vote all? It's most I've forgot that too.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the adventures of Ozy and Harriet.
This is the Armed Forces Radio Servers, the voice of
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