WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Shortage of dumb people doing really stupid things. Welcome to

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<v Speaker 1>another edition of idiotology.

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<v Speaker 2>We'll let you taco one on one one w JR R.

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<v Speaker 2>But your freaking idiots all right. This hour brought you

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<v Speaker 2>by Jr's cash giveaways called rock the Bank. Thirteen more

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<v Speaker 2>of them today, thirteen more chances for you to win

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<v Speaker 2>one thousand dollars.

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<v Speaker 1>Nine o'clock is the first opportunity. Right around nine oh five.

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<v Speaker 1>We give you a keyword that you enter at WJRR

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<v Speaker 1>dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>Then someone's randomly picked and given the grand and we

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<v Speaker 2>repeat that process throughout the day hourly. Yeah, about five

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<v Speaker 2>past the hour. A little tip for you play each time.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, and then another tip for you is when you

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<v Speaker 1>enter these keywords, if your phone rings the next hour,

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<v Speaker 1>pick it up, okay, because it might be prize headquarters.

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<v Speaker 2>Another pro tip might be to bookmark WJR dot com

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<v Speaker 2>so you have a handy all about tips here on

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<v Speaker 2>the Lynching Taco Show. All right, I fear we may

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<v Speaker 2>get into the weeds a little bit on this one.

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<v Speaker 2>It involves a Polish funeral home.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a good start.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not quite sure why you would call your funeral

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<v Speaker 2>home Hades Funeral Services, because well, the word hades has

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<v Speaker 2>different meanings to different folks, and is it spelled h

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<v Speaker 2>I h A I T h A d E S.

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<v Speaker 2>Hades as in the place where you go after you

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<v Speaker 2>die to await whether or not you're going to get

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<v Speaker 2>into heaven or hell. Not to be confused with purgatory,

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<v Speaker 2>which is more of a cleansing situation, a little pit

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<v Speaker 2>stop on your way to heaven, rather than the uncertainty

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<v Speaker 2>of Hades.

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<v Speaker 1>Wouldn't you just call it like stiffs if you had

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<v Speaker 1>a funeral stiffies, Yeah, stiff hades.

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<v Speaker 2>Now we're gonna stratch that one's just got too many

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<v Speaker 2>any and too much debate in the Polish funeral home.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's called Hades Funeral Services. Hades needs to get

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<v Speaker 2>their s together and figure things out to keep stiffies

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<v Speaker 2>in the hearse while being transported to their final resting places.

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<v Speaker 2>It one fell flew out in traffic en route to

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<v Speaker 2>its destination, upsetting drivers and the family who were following along.

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<v Speaker 2>They did go public though, with a statement on Facebook.

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<v Speaker 2>It is with deep regret that we inform you that,

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<v Speaker 2>as a result of an unexpected technical failure of the

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<v Speaker 2>electric tailgate latch in the hearse. An unfortunate incident occurred

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<v Speaker 2>during the transportation of the body of a deceased person,

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<v Speaker 2>which does not reflect the high standards of our company.

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<v Speaker 2>We admit our mistake and take full responsibility for what happened.

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<v Speaker 2>Our thoughts are with the family of the deceased, whom

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<v Speaker 2>we informed immediately after the in I don't think you

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<v Speaker 2>needed to inform. And they all saw it with their

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<v Speaker 2>own two eyes.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they were right behind you with the lights on

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<v Speaker 1>and the hazard.

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<v Speaker 2>Little purple flags on the uh huh car.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh and there should be something else written in there,

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<v Speaker 1>which is And just for the record, we're no longer

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<v Speaker 1>calling himself this. We're going by Stiffy's learned it from

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<v Speaker 1>some dudes in Orlando.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, when whenever you story like this, I flashed

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<v Speaker 2>back to that bit they did in Jackass, which one

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<v Speaker 2>was Yeah, they parked the hearse on an incline. Oh God, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and the door flings open and out rolls Steve O

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<v Speaker 2>and Johnny Knoxville are trying to muscle the thing back

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<v Speaker 2>into the the casketing into the heart. I knew I

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<v Speaker 2>had seen it.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually in a couple different movies. Where the the coffin

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<v Speaker 1>falls out. But I forgot one album was on Jackass.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we Got's Gone Wild in ironically Deer Park, New York.

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<v Speaker 2>Twelve cows were on the lamb. We'll see what I'm doing.

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<v Speaker 1>Whoa, whoa stop. We got cows deer and lamb.

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<v Speaker 2>I added lamb and is my own embellishment. Here to

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<v Speaker 2>the story of the swaughterhouse truck that tipped over on

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<v Speaker 2>I eighty four. Multiple cows were involved in this. Twelve

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<v Speaker 2>of them made a break for it down I eighty four.

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<v Speaker 1>They knew, they knew exactly what was coming, right, They're going, look,

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<v Speaker 1>this is this is going to be the chance of

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<v Speaker 1>the chances. We're doing a cow break.

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<v Speaker 2>So this truck, which was transporting dozens of cows, is

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<v Speaker 2>in the accident. Twelve of them get loose, take off

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<v Speaker 2>on I eighty four. The rest of them. None of

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<v Speaker 2>them were hurt or injured. They were they were recovered

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<v Speaker 2>and Trent put into a different slaughterhouse truck that was

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<v Speaker 2>called to the scene. Oh God, doesn't count know when

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<v Speaker 2>it's on the way to the slaughterhouse. This is what

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<v Speaker 2>I need to know.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you know, cows, so I doubt they would,

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<v Speaker 1>but maybe, Well, now they're all gonna know because these

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<v Speaker 1>twelve are gonna go back and and let people know.

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<v Speaker 1>When you get in the truck, it's not gonna be good.

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<v Speaker 1>And guess what, it's curtains for those twelve cows. Now

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<v Speaker 1>you stay drone to track the twelve cows?

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<v Speaker 2>Who would uh?

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<v Speaker 1>Let them go?

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<v Speaker 2>No? No, there's no reprieve for them. They're they're on

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<v Speaker 2>someone's plate by now.

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<v Speaker 1>They made the ultimate Well I don't think you call

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<v Speaker 1>it the ultimate sacrifice, but.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean.

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<v Speaker 3>The eaglely slet five of them go. But yet so far, Hey,

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<v Speaker 3>they escaped. Why don't we cut these guys? We've seen

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<v Speaker 3>it with the turkeys?

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<v Speaker 1>Remember where the what was that one with the turkey

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<v Speaker 1>where they befriended it instead of beheading it. I watched

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<v Speaker 1>too many movies.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you comfortable over there by the way? Oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>they can't see it on the air though. Well, I'll

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<v Speaker 2>go ahead and paint the picture. Taco is leaning back

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<v Speaker 2>in his chair as far as he can with his

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<v Speaker 2>legs which are up on the console, the broadcast console.

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<v Speaker 2>Shoes are off, just sporting socks. Yeah, as if I

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<v Speaker 2>know you like, we're home on a Sunday afternoon, watching

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<v Speaker 2>football in the Barca lounger.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just after the travel debauchery, which we told you

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<v Speaker 1>the first part.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, part two is still to come later this hour.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that was the trying to get home more drama

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<v Speaker 1>after we missed the flight. No, not drama, fun times.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, we I texted I am not part of we.

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<v Speaker 2>We as Taco and his two other buddies who were

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<v Speaker 2>stranded in the key. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I texted the phrase lemons lemonade to at least five

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<v Speaker 1>different people who said, you missed your flight because of

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<v Speaker 1>Fantasyas what I said, handed lemons, start making that lemonade,

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<v Speaker 1>open up a stand and sell that, and that might

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<v Speaker 1>be how you get home if you're mate.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't know about you all, but I can't wait to

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<v Speaker 2>hear how of this was resolved.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll talk about that one and about twenty minutes or so.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, finally we've got a car rat to tell you about.

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<v Speaker 2>Car rats appeared, So the feed are up.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way pack Because it was a long travel situation,

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<v Speaker 1>really should just.

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<v Speaker 2>Be as relaxed as possible.

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<v Speaker 1>Seriously, now that you're back at work, it was stressful

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<v Speaker 1>of like twenty five hours.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, yeah, I understand, all right, So what's the

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<v Speaker 2>genie me to get you anything or I'm sure I'm

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<v Speaker 2>totally a cold drink or anything. No, I have that

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<v Speaker 2>right here, thank you, right over to get you a

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<v Speaker 2>fast food breakfast sandwich if you want.

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<v Speaker 1>Now that i'd take you up on you like. I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like he's kind of poking and prodden, but I

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<v Speaker 1>can't get upset because he covered for me yesterday.

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<v Speaker 2>Well I was in scramble mode. Oh I was gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be here anyway. I couple is minding their own merry business,

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<v Speaker 2>driving along when all of a sudden, car rat appears,

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<v Speaker 2>not in the car. It crawls out from underneath the

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<v Speaker 2>hood onto the windshield like it was.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, now that wouldn't be as bad I thought you

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<v Speaker 1>meant in the car.

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<v Speaker 2>So car rat is clinging on, you know, hitchhiking along

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<v Speaker 2>on the car. As they drive, They're like, pull over,

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<v Speaker 2>we gotta get this thing off here rather than just

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<v Speaker 2>hit the windshield wipers and.

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<v Speaker 1>I just slammed the brakes off.

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<v Speaker 2>Well I don't anyway, So the car rat had other

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<v Speaker 2>things in mind. That a rat, No, that's a rat boom.

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<v Speaker 2>They pulled over, and the dude got out to try

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<v Speaker 2>to show the rat off, and the rat jumped on him. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but she finds it amusing the video of this on

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<v Speaker 2>our Facebook age.

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<v Speaker 1>You're right, maybe he quit laughing the guy help him.

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<v Speaker 2>Out in his course of rabies shots.

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<v Speaker 1>You see me like shiver when you said that, because

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<v Speaker 1>it's just like roaches.

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<v Speaker 2>Roaches and rats. Oh god, that's gonna be My hades

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<v Speaker 2>and mice are right up there, right up there there.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, they're, you know, very innocent compared to a rat. Woo.

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<v Speaker 2>I ain't no whimp.

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<v Speaker 1>I've shot plenty of them and caught plenty in a trap,

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<v Speaker 1>but you know, one jumps on you.

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<v Speaker 2>What all right? You made me go through this exercise

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<v Speaker 2>earlier this morning? Would you rather? Would you rather.

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<v Speaker 1>Rat or roach dropped into a show?

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<v Speaker 2>Dropped into one of those uh those big oil drums

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<v Speaker 2>full of either a drum full of roaches, big big

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<v Speaker 2>metal bug type roaches or a bin with just two

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<v Speaker 2>rats in it?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, just two of them?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just two rats in the drum, or the entire

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<v Speaker 2>drum full of cockroaches. You're dropped into this thing.

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<v Speaker 1>If it's just two rats, I have to go rats,

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<v Speaker 1>because you know you could just jump up and stump.

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<v Speaker 1>But if it's a whole bunch of roaches, roaches tend

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<v Speaker 1>to go in orifices and ears go.

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<v Speaker 2>Good answer. Good answer station is w j r R

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<v Speaker 2>The Boys,