Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice
mix in some vodka colored a podcast from the Mac
of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor
Chrysler Dots jeep Ram. It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on. Thank
you for telling a friend.
Speaker 3: That's how we spread the word about the pirate ship.
And looking like a character from SpongeBob.
Speaker 2: Squarmans it is seven shirts.
Speaker 3: You look like a conckshell that someone's gonna blow if
shots are being fired early. I'm jeezy.
Speaker 2: I know you.
Speaker 3: There's no shots being fired. You are Why would I
golf shirt? I like it. It's a nice color.
Speaker 2: It is a nice, nice color. Look at you all.
Speaker 3: So you got the cups in the lining up the
pocket and wow.
Speaker 2: It's a beautiful sunny day. I'm wearing a sunny.
Speaker 3: Free ball at Caspacho.
Speaker 2: Did it come with its own batteries? That's nice?
Speaker 3: Thank you? Uh you know Doug drives uber and stuff.
The schools are letting out now there more kids around
and thin, Yes, is business up because of that?
Speaker 2: Or I'm gonna tell you a story. Oh boy, driving
to uh short Acres where I have my golf against
Thursday night, I am at Dewey and English. I'm parked
Kitty Corner or I'm in traffic and I stop probably
about a foot or two in the walkway crosswalk, which
you shouldn't. I mean, then you're written tests that you
should not you should back up. But there's nobody I didn't.
So this mother and her thirteen, let's say fourteen year
old daughter walking across the street and she starts, motherfucking me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, She's like, are you in the crosswalk?
Speaker 2: I mean I'm in driver's sept Yeah. Nothing. They couldn't
walk around it running yea, And uh oh you're gonna
back up? You're a fuck? Oh you're not. You fucking
pieces going off of me, takes the water bottle, hits
my car, I rolled out my windows. What your fucking problem?
What the fuck is wrong with you? You starts going
to give me the figure I go, your little fucking bitch,
Oh good luck in prison. Is that what you said? Yeah?
My mother said nothing.
Speaker 3: Wait, so what hold on, holdld on, I missed something.
The fourteen year old girl did this, the thirteen year
old girl. The mother did nothing, nothing, just walked with her,
just walked with her.
Speaker 2: She yelled all this stuff, all this stuff which I'm
guessing she's seen on TikTok and all these little videos
with her mom probably, So wow, you know that's good
luck in prison. Yeah, well, you know, but it is
someone who's boundaries. You broke the law. I can't believe
that you would, like, I don't. I can't hit my car,
I can't. I could have been anybody get a gun
for crying out loud. Yeah, I could have stopped and
got out and had no decency and just punched it
in her face.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I can't believe her mother didn't do anything. Let's just
walk around the car. People do make mistakes and you
might yell a little bit.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so that was my It's a bad day
for somebody. They just failed their h New York State
regents or whatever.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean that, Wow, I'm not surprised, I guess because
there's an awful lot of stuff, Like I remember hearing
like a little kid, go, I'm going to teach you
a lesson, and I'm like, ah no, that's something that
you did come up with on your own, you know
what I mean? And that's where it's like learn behavior
and sight.
Speaker 2: Right now you're learning it from your phone, not your parents, wow,
not everybody.
Speaker 3: But no, no, no, no, no, I think that's a
it's a good thing. I still think that what you
see in real life, more than even on the phone,
is what's going to dictate behavior. And I would think
that that her mother, somebody has done that. And to
not even grab the kid and go pipe down. Yeah,
I get it, he's in the crosswalk. It's frustrating. We
have to walk.
Speaker 2: Aw, I wasn't even halfway.
Speaker 3: Yeah that was a quarter you think, Doug, I don't know,
but I'm just that's the thing.
Speaker 2: And you're right.
Speaker 3: I used to say that the Disney Channel was teaching
kids how to be little sarcastic smart mouths. Right, all
these they had twenty four to seven programs aimed at kids.
They still do, yes, and I haven't. I haven't watched.
But now it's your phone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, and you can go to anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anything and everything. Yet, well, I worry about our hyperconnectivity,
you know, the amount of communication, the amount of information
that we get that we're able to see, I mean.
Speaker 2: The Holy conversation, Yeah, with the you know, with another person, right,
And I have friends my nephew he's on his phone
twenty four to seven yep, so or in a computer,
trying to get him into sports or to do anything.
And then I have other friends their kids twenty four
to twenty five, still living at home. You know, it's
all right, but they say they go on in public,
they have a really hard time just holding a conversation
because yeah, wow, yeah.
Speaker 3: So I because I have kids in all three kind
of categories that you're saying. I have that fifteen year
old and I have a twenty three and twenty four
year old. I haven't noticed the inability to hold a
conversation that, which is a nice thing because.
Speaker 2: They see you talking all the time and they have it. Well,
it could be that.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's a very very thing. I will tell you.
Like my youngest son, like what's talking? But no one
talked to him as though he were a baby. Do
you understand what I'm saying? Like you know, like what's that?
Say it again like you might with the first kid,
you know, and trying to play back. Everybody just talked
and he was like speaking full sentences by one and
then throwing his sippy cup at one hundred miles an
hour across the room and pegging his brothers in the back.
Speaker 2: Of the head. Look this girl boom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well that's it. Everything has changed, the hyperconnectivity. I mean,
as schools let out. There are stories that I don't remember,
these stories when I was in school, and you were
in school in the year of Our Lord, nineteen hundred
and eighty seven, when you graduated and I graduated in
the year of eighty eight.
Speaker 2: Oh, graduated in ninety eighty nine.
Speaker 3: Eighty nine, yeah, eighty nine, you were eighty eight.
Speaker 2: Eighty eight. Oh, I thought you were eighty seven for
some reason. Eighty eight.
Speaker 3: Jeez, it's the salmon. I just figured out. Yes, no,
But there's this this woman who was all over the
news a while ago, and again this I would even
say an offshoot the week in public shame, which I'm
not sure is necessarily a bad thing. But then I
often worry about how the fuck do you survive when
everybody you know, everybody you've forgotten about, is talking about
you in some capacity, and it happens when you do something.
Speaker 2: Post well, it's stupid shit.
Speaker 3: This woman, Christina Formela, she is a teacher, was a
special education teacher ouse Oude of Chicago. She had allegedly
a long standing affair with a fifteen year old boy.
She married her high school sweetheart in August. She's still she.
I don't think she's been sentenced yet. She's been going.
I think it's still in court. But she is facing
fifty five charges and could get sixty years in prison
for molesting. For molesting, yeah, fifteen year old. But despite
all that, she ended up in the yearbook this year
because the.
Speaker 2: Charger picture is horizontal, Gloria Whole teacher of the year.
Speaker 3: But she yeah, so I'm looking at it this, I go,
what a great That's the greatest thing in the word.
Speaker 2: You're twenty years later flipping through year.
Speaker 3: Boogo remember her?
Speaker 2: I remember her?
Speaker 3: And she said that she was targeted because she was
too good looking, and she is attractive. I don't know
that she was. She married her high school sweetheart in August.
Allegedly this had started last March. I don't know how
that's possible. Maybe but either way or maybe she married.
She's I think she's twenty four, twenty five.
Speaker 2: Twenty five and having sex with a fifteen year old well,
allegedly allegedly.
Speaker 3: But then there were some stuff they found. I haven't
gotten too deep into it. I just remember her saying
she was too good looking. But I go, what motivate?
Her husband's holding her hand and walking into court every
day with her. He's a former college baseball player. So yeah,
but you gotta think even his buddies are going, you're
fucking insane. Man.
Speaker 2: I'd be out of there. I'd be off right, like
maybe she's really good in bed. You're just so in
love with her, I mean true love. And you know,
what do you?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean when there's your man stick by your woman, forgiveness,
you know, to have it a hold. I'll see you apart.
Some people are just saying, would you know what I do?
And you know, my wife comes home and says, hey,
I'm just let you know I'm gonna be going to court.
Really speeding ticket, no, Uh did you run a red light? Nope?
Park in a handicap space. No, I was fucking A
fifteen year old student.
Speaker 3: Of oh Well accused alleged his mom misread a text
and got all bent out of shade.
Speaker 2: It is weird. Should not be texting your students.
Speaker 3: First of all, you don't think so. No, oh, I
don't think so either.
Speaker 2: I agree with that. I do agree with that email
to the parents.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah, But I mean I'm just thinking she's
in the yearbook.
Speaker 2: This is fantastic, This is fantastic.
Speaker 3: I would want her, I would try. That would be
the most I will tell you every picture, which I don't.
Her name is Christina Formela. You can look it up.
Christina Formla, a special education teacher. If you put that in,
I'm sure she'll pop up. But I'm thinking that every
year they have left over yearbooks and they try to
sell them, right, they try to sell them before the
school year ends, and sometimes people don't buy. I go,
somebody's buying all Yeah, that's her. Yeah, yep, somebody's buying
all the uh oh.
Speaker 2: Chad doesn't do her justice. That's when you put her
face in a pillow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean even there, she's not bad looking.
It's just you know, they caught her like coming out
at six o'clock in the morning on her way to
the gym or something, and she's with her husband and
they're going, you're under the rest, and she's.
Speaker 2: Like, what what are you talking about? And she says
she told him everything.
Speaker 3: And then they have documents from him, going first, I'm
hearing of this, it's.
Speaker 2: Like us deny everything. Well, unless he thinks she's the
hottest piece of ass the side of the Mississippi and
just totally love the high school cheerleader prime queen. This
is she's my wife.
Speaker 3: What would even though like think about this. Let's say
let's say we're the guy in this. What would your
family say to you?
Speaker 2: My dad?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3: Like, I mean your dad or anybody, just your family,
because maybe they really like her. Maybe they think she's
wonderful and they go, boy, this is this is horrible that.
Speaker 2: She's this year Christina. Let me look at my calendar.
My Raymond is a twenty Yeah, yeah, you bringing your
mashed potatoes again.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's somebody waving to me. He's got a big saw
like he's gonna be cutting limbs off trees. I don't
know what he's doing.
Speaker 2: He's just waving. Uh that that's very fun.
Speaker 3: It is weird, though, Like I don't know how my
family would react. Here's the thing. I never wanted to
be me, but I want to watch. Do you see
this is my dumb brain. I want to I don't
want this to happen. Anyone is painful and was very horrible.
But if it were to happen, I would not treat
the person. If my sibling and decided to stay with
his partner for whatever reason, I would treat them the
same all the time. But man, would I be trying
to poke the bear? But hey, hey, hey mom, Hey mom,
where you're sitting this is there a slut section.
Speaker 4: At the table?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Teaching summer school, he's gonna
be a lifeguard for all little kiddies. Teachers out the mouth.
Speaker 3: She was a soccer coach too, and then Doug, here's
another one, just down in the southern tier here in
our great state of New York. Twenty two year old
woman is charged after she allegedly sent nude photos to
a fourteen year old boy over a period of three months.
They were alerted after a tip to a school resource officer.
I don't know if like the kid was showing them
and some other kid. I'm scared and told no, I'm saying.
Speaker 2: And you have to break it that Oh yeah yea
yeah yeah yah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Hey man, you want to see miss you want to
see miss Milazzo.
Speaker 2: Let's see your study hall teacher. You know what a
landing strip is. She's second.
Speaker 3: She was fired from her position at Bosi's and uh,
they have not disclosed what a role was. They don't
even want to talk about her. But she got a
ticket to come back to court. Like you get a
ticket when you park in the loading zone. Yeah, they
let everybody go, not when you are the loading zone.
Speaker 2: You know, Wow, stay up all night right now? I
just thought it.
Speaker 3: Now, God, what not a ticket for parking the loan
zone not being the loading zone.
Speaker 2: I need to explain it now. You don't.
Speaker 3: But did this stuff go on when you were in
high school that you knew that you.
Speaker 2: Want an attractive teacher in high school? I was looking
at yeah.
Speaker 3: Because you go, if this were a guy, I think
it would be I don't know how I think people
would be.
Speaker 2: My gosh, oh my gosh, without a doubt. If harsher
you twenty five year old guy with a fifteen year
old girl, my guess they want to can straight them.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think the same thing, And I think.
Speaker 2: Like, what's it's it's a boy.
Speaker 3: Well, when I see this the sixty charges, I go boy,
that's a lot. She's getting even charged for grooming. Allegedly,
there's a grooming charge. I didn't even know there's such
a thing existed. But my not grooming there.
Speaker 2: Hey let me she was cutting his hair. Yeah, she
didn't have a license, throwing the book at her.
Speaker 3: When I hear sixty charges, yeah, look at the woman,
I go, I think to myself, is that necessary? If
it were a guy, I would go, yeah, fucking dickhead.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, get him, get him? And why is that?
Speaker 4: What is that?
Speaker 2: Societal team equality? We should be protesting.
Speaker 3: Well, but it is a quality because she's getting sixty charges.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is personally, I look at it and go,
that seems a little harsh. I'm going, if a guy
got it'd be like, oh, can't you get more?
Speaker 2: Pay him?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Why is that in just our public perception? Because you're right,
it is a quality. There's they probably got because every charge,
sixty charges, that's a ton.
Speaker 2: You know, whatever is portrayed on TV and movies and quality.
Like I said, you know, it's still the man of
the house and man, you know, man should be making
the decisions. A man is bringing home with the bacon.
It isn't obviously true this year or this day and age.
There's danks, double income, no kids, or there's but it's
still the man that you should know as a man.
Don't you know right from wrong? Is a man? Don't
you know that you shouldn't do that? Yes? Yes, And
then sometimes discriminating about because you know she's inn theirhead.
She's a ditch and said oop, and you're like, oh,
she's a woman, but that's bad too. Yes, no jokes
about that, yes, you know, and he's filling up stadiums
and uh, I joke. There's I bust my sister's balls
Kelly a lot. Why just because it's easy to do it.
It's fun, which she knows I love her, but just
I forget what it was. We had a good Father's
Day I hosted, my sisters were there, their stepmother, my stepmother, Kathy,
my dad. Obviously I forget what I was busting her
balls about. But something usually usually happened.
Speaker 3: I'll find something like ditsy type thing, yeah, or a
woman that.
Speaker 2: She'll ask a question. Here comes out softball home run call?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it is, but it is weird, and I
I go, boy, if it were a guy, and then
I try to think back. I knew a man who
what went to my church and was caught on the
side of a road having sex with an underage girl,
a student of his that he had. I don't know
what her home life was, but he was driving her
home or this is that something happened he went away
to prison for a while. Yeah, yeah, and rightfully, so okay,
got it. But I don't remember this stuff going on.
And then I will hear a lot of the girls,
and I've even heard male gym teachers say to me, like,
the girls can get kind of flirty in high school,
and you know, like they'll come up and look over
your shoulder and kind of press and you have to
go personal space. You know, that's sort of thing. You
really got to draw boundaries, because especially today.
Speaker 2: They're watching dirty stuff on their on their phone. Yeah,
and I think there's also finding your dance playboy down
to the work show and sneaking.
Speaker 3: No, it's way worse.
Speaker 2: It's way worse.
Speaker 3: I will say that it's way worse. And I do
think that.
Speaker 2: I've said many times, as they should anything with pornographic
or sex or even nudity instead. Dot com should be
dot sex and you can lock it on every device.
You're doing what you can. Now you go to school
and Eddie Haskell, Yeah, he's like, hey, did you want
to take a look at this? Why I can't get
in my phone? Well I can take a look, and
then you get interested and you want to see a
little bit more. And that's the problem. Kids are getting
too much information with what they don't know what to
do with.
Speaker 3: I think that sometimes sex is portrayed wrong and in
important things.
Speaker 2: Oh, without a doubt, nobody's going forty five minutes with
two girls. I mean, do you know what I'm saying.
I know you can drive two girls forty five minutes
and uber alone whipping my big stake out. Any gonna happen.
And when you're you know, if you remember the first time,
I think I was seventeen, Yeah, you know, yeah, a
couple pumps and you're like, oh my god, that's it,
and you're like, here's reality.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right right, you have to I don't. I don't know,
And then you learn, you.
Speaker 2: Know, you do, and you have the good twenties, thirties, forties,
and then.
Speaker 3: That fifty That's the thing is like, sometimes I think
they're even trying to. I think in uh Australian and
I think people will really mock down Under. Yeah, I
think people would mock this, but I but I know
that they're trying to. They're starting to do something called
nature deficit disorder, meaning that you're on your fucking phone
too much. You need to put that shit down and
go take a walk in a park and get back
to just being. And it's silly. I mean, I guarantee
that if that ever hit in the unice be.
Speaker 2: Like, look at all these softy lefties.
Speaker 3: And I'm going hang on a second, there may be
some truth to it, because, as you said, your nephew
is twenty four seven, My son is twenty four to seven.
I hear the phone on when he's in the shower.
He's looking at it all the time. If he's not
talking to a friend on the phone, he's playing a game,
he's looking at videos. It's it is in his hand always.
My goal, I think for the next year will be
to how can I transition that slightly. How can I
help you figure out that your well being and mental
health needs to come from within you and not outside
of you. How do I help you build real self
esteem by accomplishing stuff instead of always consuming stuff.
Speaker 2: You play one hour in basketball, you can have your
phone for one hour. Yeah, you go take a one
hour walk, right, you get one hour.
Speaker 3: So you gotta be and and it's and it's it's
a tough thing, right you can. I feel like you
can do that.
Speaker 2: Because you're what am I missing? What am I missing?
And not in right? But there's a lot of really
missing the world.
Speaker 3: Yeah what what? What? What is meant to be? Yes?
I I think I do think that that as much
as do we need human connection, that's not real human connection. Uh,
we also need stillness a little bit just to kind
of mellow out. Yeah, nothing, you know, that's it. Decompressed, decompressed. Uh,
we'll take a moment. Did you have something?
Speaker 2: I was gonna say. One thing that uh, I know
is lost a lot to his game night and kids
playing games very good jin rummy. I mean I grew
up with my grandmother baby today by four or five
and new gin rummy, backgam and chess and ended up
learning poker and pinnuckle hearts and yeah, taboo and pictionary
and just love game nights, just that interaction. We tried
game nights when I was a little kid.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and my dad would make fun of me, as
with candy Landing good wa you would get like Cherry
Pitts or something. You had to go all the way
back and he'd go. And I got so mad at
five years old that I flipped the fucking board and
stones out of the room.
Speaker 2: And that game night, Game night, we had game night Wednesday.
Took my dad to Bingo. Yeah, yeah, how do you do?
We didn't win, he was down to one number twice.
Speaker 3: Uh, we will take a moment here. But I someone
came up and talked to me about Dougie Fresh so
they saw him on a dating app. LL get to
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Speaker 2: You know what love was meant to be? Kind of
love the last Ready Kid Too, And now it's going
on elagraphy or music sound. It is really weird, wasn't
it like your old age track? It was very strange.
This isn't no It's Chicago.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a slow dance in the high school gym, right, Yes,
well I was. Somebody came up to me yesterday and
said I see your friend Doug on on the dating
app Hinge, and I go have you have you?
Speaker 2: Have you hit them? And they go, no, oh, what
are you tell me for going? Awa? Go get Dougie.
Hinge is a dating app.
Speaker 3: I don't know what. I don't know any of these.
Speaker 2: My niece told me to Joy and she met her
not fiance, but they've been together six years. Okay, actually funny,
we're going to the Miami Dolphins Bills game. Okay, she's
gonna be in town. She lives in Austin, Texas, Marissah.
And she told you to get on Hinge.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is Hinge?
Speaker 2: It's just another dating app and you try to select
a certain area that you This is like last year.
That's why I think dating apps keep your picture just
so you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure you come up in that
area of people, Like I'm looking for people within a
five mile radius of where I am.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And there's Doug. And there's Doug on stage
of the You're Smoking with the Bill Ran Funny Show.
Speaker 3: Oh is that what it is?
Speaker 2: I thought that was it? Maybe I think I put
it up. This is a europe maybe two years ago.
You know what, it'll be over a year. Muse, I
remember it was at my old place.
Speaker 3: Okay, so but no locking on a hinge?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: I do you even try with these things? Not really
like I don't know what trying. I mean, I get
out of them just to see if I see anybody
I know, And a couple of times I have yeah,
and just you know, get But then it gets depressing
around there a few you know, a few days and
nobody's liking you, and You're like, I'm a fucking loser.
I'm gonna go do billifying. Yeah, what's he? Okay? Because
I was gonna.
Speaker 3: I mean, what surprised you most about? Like the dating experience?
Is there anything?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Every woman, please have a sense of humor. Looking
for a guy with a sense of humor. Oh I
really I love to laugh. Please have a sense of humor.
I'm like, you know, I do stand up. I show
pictures of stand up and I'm like, that doesn't even
get a nibble. I'm like, I'm on a stage, the
mic go my hand. This is not a joke. And
then some women have said, let me your I read
your bio. It's yeah, can I write your bio? This
was years ago. A woman said that yeah, yeah, okay,
you need a woman's touch, but then I have did
you have a woman do it? No? I'm just like no,
they don't like me for what I'm writing. I'm well,
there is a there is.
Speaker 3: A a sales hook to everything in life. I give
you that. I mean you know.
Speaker 2: That you you you, you have the.
Speaker 3: Gift of gab.
Speaker 5: You.
Speaker 2: I think I'm better in person. Okay, you know yeah,
I've seen things on that date dating sites as well.
I'm better in person. I'm just your you know, text
me if I like your smile, write your back or something.
But I have a friend that I was getting divorced
and he got that hinge and right away he started
dating somebody else, somebody I joked about him. You're gonna
be married again before I have a girl while and uh.
Speaker 3: Do you feel like dating apps are design I mean
I know they have them designed for we are of
the age that would be considered seniors. Now, well, well
there is that kind of stuff or is it a
younger person's game. Because I also think, like you hear
about I will say this, I have no and I
don't mean this in any pompous or any way of
sounding superior. I don't know about the dating apps. I
never had the courage to go on. To be quite
honest with you, I didn't have it because, much like
you said, if you don't get bites, then there you go.
And if you do get bites, do you feel like
you're being forced into a situation you don't necessarily want
to be in. And I don't like hurting people's feelings
and stuff, And I honestly, I just never had the courage.
And I don't feel like great about myself either, but
again better in person.
Speaker 2: Well there's Tinder, there's Mumble, There's those are the two
popular ones, and plenty of fish which are quote unquote
hookup sites or yes, And I have talked to women
that are on them and right away the guys like,
you know, want to get together and fuck you know
you want to see a dick pic? Or what are
you thinking about? They want to get right to it,
and most women do not. And the women that do. Now,
I've Uber dates and I've bartended dates that have been
on from day What is that like to see? I
took a guy uh kind of jacked up shorter than you?
But yes, and I go, what do you got planning?
I goes them, just going over this girl's house to
kick it. I'm like, just like that, because yeah, you
found me on bumble and uh you know, we're gonna
have a couple drinks and see what happens. And they
go wow, just like that, I go, you're my new
here he goes, well, I work a lot, work out
a lot in the gym, personal trainer, and I post
a lot of pictures of my body, so you have
the instant connection. This is what I want, you know,
And it might be, but you know you were attracted
to you know, body type. Why don't you put pictures?
Why they wouldn't fit on the screen. I'm so fucking
fatty can Why do you think I'm wearing salmon? So
nobody looks at my belly? I like, I like you,
I like about the spawn. You don't think I can
make it up stream? Right for a big old grizzly man.
Speaker 3: Why are all those bubbles coming as one fat fucking salmon?
Speaker 2: We catch him? Well, he's till November or are you
good tonight? Kids? Get the butter? Uh okay, that's interesting.
Uh yeah, I also bartended a couple having their first
uh get together? Yeah, I think this was a Whiskey
river last year. How is that? Is that awkward to watch? No?
Speaker 3: I kept my distance, sure, but I would just but
I'd be curious.
Speaker 2: Well, the girl showed up first. I remember this, The
girl showed up first. I'm like, hey, what's going on?
I'm just waiting for somebody. I'm like a friend or
and she go. I'm like, is this the first day?
Speaker 3: She goes?
Speaker 2: How do you know? I'm like, well, you just gotta
got of. I'm like, so you talked a couple of
times now as a couple. Yeah, we talked a couple
of times. It seemed, you know, so we're social setting.
I'm like a school. I'm like, you know, I'll be
down here. I'm like if something, you know, if you
if you want my number. A case it doesn't go well,
I'll I'll text you. Yeah, you know, give me your number.
I'll text you like, hey, this is Becky. Can you come?
Because sometimes girls need to.
Speaker 3: Out yes, well they usually have that set up.
Speaker 2: Now you want to hear something stupid, stupid, funny. And
I don't usually use the stupid s words because I
don't think stupid. How much Chinese you think he's picking up?
I feel better about myself already. He's picking up a
I've met an old friend of mine. This is eight
nine years ago, so I didn't know how it was
going to go. I met her out and I told
my buddy, Hey, if she's crazy, I haven't seen her
in a long time, I'll text you and then you
text me. Bath So I went to the bathroom and uh,
I'm like, hey, uh, you don't have to worry about
texting me. Things are going good, and uh, I'll tell
you later how the date went. And then I sat
down and I accident texted to her, you're shitting me. Wow, Wow,
I just I told you what she said.
Speaker 3: She laughed, and maybe that made her feel good because
you said the date was going.
Speaker 2: Well. Look, I don't date even this.
Speaker 3: But did she have an out too? It's like the peanut,
Yeah right, I was. I was worried about my first date.
That was I had my backup playing.
Speaker 2: So that I forgot about that for a while. Yeah, Hey,
I can, but how did it?
Speaker 3: How did the first date that you observed go?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I didn't I didn't any feedback.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean, could you you can tell my
bodyline engine stuff sometimes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I poured him a drink and I just come
back down say hey, you know everybody good, how we
doing good? All right, I'm already done there. And then
years ago another bar guy came in with a girl,
and uh, got you joking around this, that and the
other thing. I come back in on my day off.
You go up. He's there with a different chick, a
different girl, and he was the same bar an idiot.
They know they were from Fairport. Oh yeah, so I'm
like and she went to bathroom like, dude, aren't you
playing a little close at Chester? And he's like no,
they both live in Fairport, so they're not gonna come
down to Charlotte. Yeah, they're not gonna randomly come in.
I'm not gonna get caught. I'm like, dude, you're smile
this guy. Buy a shot. I'm like you, damn, you're
buying me. Probably buy me too, thanks for being cool.
Like a course of course, I'm not blowing anybody's cover.
I'm not like that. They're like, hey, what happened a
really cute girl you were with last week?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I did do that to a buddy. Oh god, why
because he came in drunk with this woman and uh, oh, gosh,
it was hilarious, short hair. She worked at the radio station.
I can't remember. This was another ten years ago and
they're both schnobbered and uh and uh, I don't want
to say his name. Well it doesn't matter, but I'm
Brad and he goes, this is so so I'm like, oh,
so glad to meet you. You were so prettier than
the girl he had in here last week. Oh but
that's funny, yes, and he started laughing, that's funny. And
she was a little ditsy. Yeah, And I just kept
kind of grinding this situation. That's fine. And then he
was in a few days later with another one. But
he didn't care. He was Yeah, he was all around town,
kind of making it happen. Yeah. He's just easy going,
fun to be with. Uh, you know, kind of guy.
So like you.
Speaker 3: Around town, I'm all around.
Speaker 2: Have you been over there lately?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was there for a few minutes last night,
just a few minutes, yep, just to drop off some paperwork, No.
Speaker 3: To pick up my kid was meeting me there and
then uh but no, no, I mean it's never an
easy time.
Speaker 2: For me there.
Speaker 3: Right, he's falling. I always fall into the Guinness River
as a salmon.
Speaker 2: Stream.
Speaker 3: You know, it happens from time to time.
Speaker 2: The next thing you wake up your you're mounted over
someone fireplates like, yeah, I begged him last night. Wow,
that's a big one, Teresa. Yeah he didn't. He didn't
put up much of a struggle. He would have thought
for that, but you have fifty pound tests like, yeah,
something like that. Guinness at home and it was closing
time and he wanted to keep drinking hisself losing.
Speaker 3: Well, speaking of the dating thing, you know, the competition,
I think, and I'm not exactly sure, but I think
that Mark was going to go on a date this
weekend with Matt.
Speaker 2: Now I listened to have you talked about this since
last Monday? So apparently no, because no I have, so apparently. Well,
I got on watching the show, hm hmm. I was
doing some house or whatever, and uh, apparently one of
your listeners wrote in saying she would go on a
date with Mark Hillman and with Dougie Fresh. Yes, yes, yes,
so obviously I kept watching this.
Speaker 3: So she came in, She came in, She came in here,
Mark seemed uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: But then something changed.
Speaker 3: Over the past couple of days and uh, it's like
a group text sort of thing with that. I'm in
with him and Kevin and others. I don't create these,
but no, no, and.
Speaker 2: Uh it was the last one picked for Dagball too, buddy,
I'm so taking out you can't miss. The shirt made
me feel self conscious.
Speaker 3: So I guess, he said yeah. But then she had
given her number to him on a piece of paper
and he lost. Of course he did, and he said,
I'm dead serious. So I think that the numbers were exchanged. Uh,
And I'm not sure where it goes from there.
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure, but there may be something this weekend.
I don't really know.
Speaker 2: So then, now, are I supposed to get in touch
with this girl after this? Or do you guys have
a plan? Are you gonna?
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no real plan. No, I mean, come on,
it's billified. We haven't really thought exactly. But I don't know,
because like everybody sort of ran with it, and I
always get a little like, uh, what if it goes
terribly wrong?
Speaker 2: I mean I know so well, just like love connection yep,
you know, yep.
Speaker 3: So I think that it might I don't know. I
don't know how, but I will let you know I
don't hear about it.
Speaker 2: Then she says, well, now it's under Doug. I don't
want to hear what he did.
Speaker 3: And then well, don't don't listen. I don't really thank you.
I appreciate that, but don't listen, you know, don't even
like like you did the last time. When she comes in,
don't say anything but Mallory, what I think would be
great is to not have her say anything. Uh, just
let Mark maybe tell how he thought it went, and
then let you go on the date, let you talk
about how you thought it went, and then to come
in and then you know, see, yes, how that went,
and maybe we just sort of drag it out over
a couple episodes. I don't know. Well, that is sort
of my brain. I've had so many is you know,
like just life keeps coming at you in some different directions.
Speaker 2: So I've been kind of running and doing that.
Speaker 3: But I think it'll be interesting. I mean, who knows,
who knows? He might surprise you.
Speaker 2: He might.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a sleeper. I think he's a sleeper. I
actually picked him to win because I thought you were winning.
Now I was gonna say he gets picked for a
second day. Would Doug try too hard with it, like
the jokes and the stuff, and I don't know, would
that be a turn off I'm not sure, or would
that be appreciated. I can't tell.
Speaker 2: Kind of like when you're fishing for salmon. You gotta
feel it out and see where.
Speaker 3: Your line that's right, Drop that line, get that fly
right in there here, that's the perfect thing. It is
strange as we're talking about like relationships and things, how
have your friendships changed over the years. Have you had
friendships that sort of kind of like they run their course,
they kind of fizzle out. You don't really stay in
touch with somebody, and then you know that is.
Speaker 2: True out of sight, out of mine. Yeah, definitely. My
close friends from high school, wrestling buddies.
Speaker 3: You know, they're all stayed together.
Speaker 2: Uh, there's a couple and I'm kind of the glue
that keeps that together. Yeah, you know, we try to
get together once twice a year. That's stuff. But they
both had one had four kids, one hit three. Yeah,
you know, I was living with my one buddy. They
had a huge house on Seneca Parkway and the next room,
so I just stayed there instead of an apartment and
love the kids, you know, and get to see your
buddy and uh so you're.
Speaker 3: Like uncle Charlie and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. I take a round and do
stuff with them. It's yeah, that's more what it was like. Yeah,
but I don't regret that at all. And I even
stuck women in really Oh yeah, you know I lived upstairs,
live downstairs. They'd be gone for vacations mine. Yeah, but
even when they were there, you know, ya just gotta
be quiet. Are you a screamer? I'll be quiet? Can
you be quiet? Yeah?
Speaker 3: What nothing?
Speaker 2: You've never done anything like that in your entire life. No,
because you never rolled over to your wife and said
where the kids must have? You know, y wake up
with you're pitching it like you know, the kids still sleeping,
they watching cartoons. Can you make it quick? Yeah? Jrigging
off now. But friends with friends, and it wasn't in common.
You know, if you're moving into a place, you know
you need a especially if you're going through a divorce
and now you need first months, last month. Uh, it references.
You know, you might just stay with a buddy and
put your shit into a storage area, you know, and
that's when you're story you know, you're only gonna be
here month. Yeah, one month and then it's two months.
And I've had friends like that too, or not friends, patrons, bartending.
You know. A couple of years ago, guy got kicked
out of this house, moved into the other guys that
he drank with, and that went a little longer. You know. Well,
you know, I try to be a good friend. You know,
I told him a month turned into two. Now he's
gonna find a place or I'm gonna find him a place,
and if I don't, he's just you know, because you
want your privacy, you know, one thing to help out
her friend. But and not exactly being taken in advantage
of right. But you know, are you trying that hard
to get a place? If you see him on his
PlayStation and he's not. I was that apartment hunting going.
I was good whatever, I know. Yeah, oh yeah, retro
a little retro game. Are living out in California. I
always had a roommate, yeah, you know, sometimes two there
was a one bedroom. One got the couch, one got
in the bedroom. When had the blow up?
Speaker 3: What did you have?
Speaker 2: I had a blow up next to the computer in
case I want to write at night. Oh yeah, because
that was more of a night out, real night out
writing until two or three, and if I was writing,
I just kept going till I just got so tired.
If the juices were flowing, which I should have been
writing comedy hindsight, but maybe not. You ever look back
like if I want done that, I don't say that
because I'm I'm happy with my life. Friend, Yeah, I do,
and you can't change it. So that's one of the
things you can't regret.
Speaker 3: Well, all right, why don't we take a moment.
Speaker 2: Can you reinvent Can you get that time back? Or no?
Speaker 3: Can you reinvent yourself and do the things that you
wanted to do to pursue the dream? Can you do it?
Do you have another act? Is there a point where
there's another act? And I think the answer to that
is yes, but we'll talk a little bit about it
with the screenwriter. That's another thing I forget to put
on your title. Yeah, when I bring in I always
go you know former strip club DJ uber Driver comedian.
Speaker 2: Twenty years since the Night of the cant's been a
film this month?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god. Yes, the most depressing things ever happened. No,
that's Uh wow, that's something.
Speaker 2: I should get the cast in here next it won't
be your next Saturday. Okay, talk about that and more?
All right, right after this.
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Speaker 2: All right, ladies, we're back for session number three. Don't
get your panties in a twist. But here he is
all the way from Alabama, Bama Lama six foot two
and Asamlu the man would live the Legend from Fairbourn,
Everybody's favorite podcast. This side would listen, sipy mister Bill Lure.
Speaker 6: It's same, not bad, not bad.
Speaker 3: Not bad, this song Like again, I always go, I'm
not sure I was ever a Bond Jovie fan and
tell a story that's very rude.
Speaker 2: But chicks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't know if I don't even know
if I thought his music was good. But it hit
that sweet spot of life for me. Yeah, you heard
it a lot. People liked it. It made people happy,
right people, Right, you.
Speaker 2: Have a nice day.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's yeah, that's more two thousand, yes, yeah, this
is like this is the slippery one Wet nineteen eighty seven.
Speaker 2: I bought that for the Strip club. Bon Jovi. You
always have a girl play that every now and then.
Speaker 3: What's that anybody. Yeah, so I just h I remember
going to a bon Jovi concert at the Range.
Speaker 2: Got through the Heart is always a good one to
play late in the night of a wedding.
Speaker 3: And you see, and I know all the words for
as many as I can remember. But I was at
the Orange County Speedway and uh a friend of mine
who now lives here. He was about five years older
than me, and he would babysit me. We used to
set up jumps in the driveway and ride my bike
over it, and you know my younger brother and sister
uh too. And he he had a day cancel on him.
So I went with him and they met this girl.
One of the guys went with a with a girl
this is terrible. Went with a girl that was doing
local cable news. Okay, so she was to think of
the infancy of when cable news, the old yann and stuff, right,
this is like early ninety I got think it's like
ninety one. And she was pretty, but it was almost
like she was a balloon animal in that from the
waist down. I was like, like it, I mean, that's
that's where all the air went. Do you understand what
I'm saying? Do you get it like very like you
would look her at it was. It was almost like
it took two bodies and put them together, and it
just it didn't look And then she wanted to get
on his shoulders. And she's on his shoulders and I can't.
Speaker 2: Stop my fucking brain.
Speaker 3: I'm like nineteen eighteen eighteen, nineteen years old. My brain
won't stop. It's like fucking every fucking thing. I'm walking
up behind him, going, you know, I don't even know
this guy. He's a friend of the other guy. I
think there were roommates in college. She seemed lovely, you know,
but god damn baby, and he has her on the
shoulders and I'll walk upy go, you know, im like, hey, hey,
how's that chiropractic bill gonna be? Yeah, I'm it's horrible, horrible, horrible,
mean stuff, horrible. I would be so mad if I
and this is the thing, I really would be very
very angry. And it's and and got it. I go
because my son will say to me all the time,
you did way worse stuff, and I'll go, no, I didn't.
And he's like Kiven, I know, and the other guys
I never had those real discussions with and they were
close in age, and there was I'll say what what
can only be described as probably normal life chaos of
running here, running there, and running this, that he didn't
pay attention to what they were doing or saying, and
everything seemed to be so going so quickly all the
time in my life that I didn't now now with Jamison,
who is much of the personality cut of me. Yeah,
I mean, and he sees it and he just calls
you on it. He's collegiated right on all my shit
and he's always like, oh yeah, right, coome on and uh.
I mean. There were like a girl who was referred
to as Lori cow Alfonso, and I'll never forget this.
I'm how many years pass a forty something years, I
can still remember it, and then having her somebody superimposed
her face over a cow. It was like the early
photoshop in a photography class. And then someone hung it
in the main office window and you think of what
kind of psychological I mean, girls offered me and I
was in tenth grade, seventy dollars to go to the
prom with her, and I wouldn't. And it was all
because she was Lori cal Fonso. She was probably attractive
lovely but for whatever reason, and then we did, and
I go, man, if I saw that now, because I
did get ash to the problem by a girl I like,
I got the guy I was talking about his younger
sister year ahead of me in school. She calls me up.
She goes, if you got invited to the prom by
and the name's three people, and you know the least
desirable on the list is going to be the one, right,
And I go, ah, yeah, whatever. Well my father gets
wind of this.
Speaker 2: Yeah you told me, yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Are going to that problem? Do you know how hard
it is for a girl? And at fifteen years old,
I have no fucking idea what it is a girl
that I didn't like. You could have carnations delivered or
whatever she sent me out, like a white one to
me meant friendship or whatever. I like, threw in the
bottom of my locker instead of like today, I wouldn't
do that, and.
Speaker 2: I would try to show my because you're so afraid
of being judged everybody in high school yes, yes, yes,
but that's just it.
Speaker 3: Like fuck them and start going what feels right for you, because, honestly, more.
Speaker 2: The hump you have to get over in life well,
most people aren't dicks.
Speaker 3: I'm finding out, like my crew is the minority, those
that fucking shane you shit on you, fucking destroy your
person like we shit to this day, I'm shitting on people.
Speaker 2: I'm like, shit on you. You know, I mean a
loving way, but I mean that's how we show love
that I got.
Speaker 3: I go over to Montconnery's. It's a fucking it's a
rip fest. It is a rip fest. And I leave
there feeling better than when I walked in, and I've.
Speaker 2: Been destroyed and it's just so tuning. It's easier to
point down in people. Oh, but it's just like, no,
I'm not destroyed.
Speaker 3: I'm getting destroyed there, like they put me in my
and I love it and I love that kind of shit.
But I'm I found out in college most people weren't
like that. I found a group as soon as like
I didn't. That was like that, and they're like I
had transferred in and the guys were like, oh, I
thought you guys were friends for years, the way you
all bust on each other's balls, and I go, yeah,
but it was like that's where you were attracted. Most
people aren't fucking hanging girls pictures super imposed over a
cow in a main office window. Bill Moran, all right, Dougie,
we talked about reinventing. You were the screenwriter, and you
talk about writing and all that, and I think you
have a real passion for that stuff. I don't know
used to.
Speaker 2: Now I'm kind of second guessing myself. But it's been
a tough year losing my mom and just settling in
and changing addresses and things of that. So I'm hoping
it kind of gets fired up again. And I do
still practice as some mob drivers writers, Yeah, your comedy
and stuff. Yeah, yeah, and they laugh of course. Yeah,
they want to know what I'm playing. Yeah, and I'm like, well,
I got nothing set up, so kind of wondering what
I'm gonna do with that.
Speaker 3: So, well, what what is one part of like, because
I was even thinking this for myself, one part of
your identity today? That identity, well that you never imagined
ten years ago you had you never saw.
Speaker 2: I never saw me this definitely Scott the comedy. Yeah,
you know, never saw that ten years ago. Why because
I never thought about doing it. Yeah, you know, my
friend came in and said I really should, just because
I always have the jokes and doing Rodney and quick
at my feet. And I think if I was in
New York City, it would be different going from club
to club to club every night. I'd want to do
that and see how that goes, go down for a weekend.
I'm planning to in the fall and do that. Yeah,
I was, and fucking do that. I'm so proud of you. Seriously.
I was gonna do it in March, but my friend
said it wasn't a good time March April. An old
room made mine lives in New York.
Speaker 3: City, Okay, so that you're gonna go stay with them?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: And then you were gonna bounce from club to club?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And he was, Yeah, I already looked on the internet. See,
uh some of them. They want you to bring his
seven friends. They get seven people drinking a too drink
minimum obviously. But then another friend, uh the comedy seller,
he was there just a few weeks ago, and I
just of them two days ago. What did they say?
Because I'm sure they have obviously so many people in
New York City. Uh, you know, hey, I won the
twenty twenty two Footiest Personal Rochester. I have strong fifteen
twenty minutes. You know, how do I sort of wait
to get in the club, do you. My friend was
telling me about this certain night where you just rolling
comic after comic and they say they jammy in there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's a cavalcad. It's a cavalcat and I
think you get five minutes.
Speaker 2: Five minutes.
Speaker 3: I think you get five minutes. Sometimes you have to
pay and that, but sometimes and sometimes the order gets
bumped because Chris Rock pops up right and he he goes, hey, man,
I want to work this stuff out. They're going to
give him time. So then and then you gotta follow
Chris Rock, right, you know what I mean? That could
be tough. I think this is fucking awesome.
Speaker 2: So we're saying after the fall, after the breast cancer fundraiser, good,
you know, in November. But one of the comics I
did see that joint in Rochester. His opener was a
woman that had been doing it for I think about
twelve years. Yeah, And I asked her, well, he was
signing autographs. I was just talking to you. How's it going,
you know? She goes, well, you know, I'm getting back
into it. I took a couple of years off. And
she says, some comics. Do that, you try it, You're
not really.
Speaker 3: Rodney did that?
Speaker 2: Yeah right, Yeah, he was in sales. Yeah, and then
he got married and his wife said, Okay, we're gonna
get out of show business. We're gonna have regular life
for good regular jobs. So he was selling aluminum and
doing odd jobs and he was writing jokes and put
putting it in his toolbox where she would never go.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And one of the things on his biography was he
was making it back up. He's on the Ed Sullivan
Show and he's at this person's house. He's like, could
you turn in and sell show so I can watch myself? Yeah,
oh yeah, okay, that's been a think it would be lie.
But anyways, and then she found out he got back
into comedy and he changed his name. His name is
Roy remember, Okay, but I read the book and then
he started getting no respect and that was it. That
was it, And that was a forty one forty forty one. Yeah.
They got divorced and he had a tough time. He
had a real she had mental health problem. She did
understand he had a really tough life growing up too. Yeah,
so he kind of just turned it into his way,
made it worked for him. I think he lived to
be ninety two, yeahy three, something like that. Yeah, Yeah,
I love Rodney.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well Rodney wasn't like I never met him. Uh,
people that did said he was very difficult. He was
always grumpy. He would show up at the club.
Speaker 2: He just a man depressive.
Speaker 3: He would just be well there's why.
Speaker 2: Yeah. He would be.
Speaker 3: Walking around in his robe, you know, just walking around
in a robe all the time and doing cocaine. That
was like his thing. And I went, wow, okay, But
because you see someone like that and you go, he
must be so much fun to hang out with. And
I will tell you that. There was a string of
years where I did a lot of em C work
at the old comedy club on Win Road, right, Yeah,
and man, you.
Speaker 2: Have a mutual friend there, Dave Harrison, and he was
running the bar and he said, they're either full blown
alcoholics or sober as a judge.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but a lot of like really just depressed, I
mean just dark sad.
Speaker 2: Like it can't be every comic guy to be funny.
Speaker 3: No it wasn't, but a lot of them were.
Speaker 2: I mean there was a lot that were like, yeah.
Speaker 3: It's like holy shit. I think with anything.
Speaker 2: How do you get by the stage and turn that
around into make it?
Speaker 3: Because that's your that's your your that's like your moment,
your shining thing. You're you get to be somebody other
than yourself, I think, and then you're stuck with yourself
and you can't figure things out, and uh, that's where
I go. You know, people who were to some of
the people, well, I think are the most successful are
the ones that have a discipline. They go to the
gym every day, they work out, they write, they sit
down and write every day. They have a discipline of
some kind. That's you know, this discipline.
Speaker 2: Every day I wake up at nine, I'm like, no, no,
I'm gonna roll over to lane thirty and then I'm
gonna start my day. I'll tell you what I'm on it.
I gotta be good at something. No, I woke up
about nine a day, Yeah, no big deal. Yeah, roll over,
hat some coffee, took a shower, I got already.
Speaker 3: That's right. Yeah, he's into your day, buddy, Yes it is.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: Well, like like life's not easy, it's never gonna stop
coming at it's keep it. You gotta be to find
your own resilience to that stuff. And if it's sleeping
on nine thirty and you know, eventually having a heart
attack like a whale, like like the whales to die
and they bring them on shore and they have to
blow them up because they're so big they can't chop
them up and everything.
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't know they did that. Yeah, what are
you gonna do? Put a bunch of fire crackers in
my mouth? There was just well I did not know.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. They're on YouTube and I played it
on the podcast. There's an old news story where a whale,
a dead whale, washes up on a beach in Oregon
and all these people come out to watch as they're
gonna blow it up, and they have everybody back back
back from a certain distance.
Speaker 2: They fucking blow it up. It rained blubber all over everybody.
Speaker 3: People's cars got dented, people got injured, Like, yeah, it's
just a boom, and you're.
Speaker 2: Just they do this on a regular basis. Whatever whale
I think? Do they They have that whales up on
the beach and they try to roam back in and
see them. I haven't heard this.
Speaker 3: No, I'm saying that this was this well died and
it just somehow, you know, over the current wound up
on the on.
Speaker 2: The beach and it was huge.
Speaker 3: I think they still try to blow them up. I
don't know. Maybe they go in with saws now and
cut it. But they can't have it there because it's
the smell, right, the smell was I mean, even put.
Speaker 2: Some dynamit everybody, make everybody go deaf and have blubbered,
piss and blood all over your Do you want to
hear that? That's more humane? Would you like to hear
the news report? Yeah?
Speaker 3: All right, We'll take a moment and I'll come back
with the news report for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got you want to see it again.
Speaker 3: It's it's like an old school I'm going to say,
it's like nineteen eighty two when it happened like so
picture that and they're out there and the reporter is
they wanted to blow.
Speaker 2: Up the world, And yeah, we'll see. We'll get to
that right after this.
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Speaker 7: All right you lucky dogs In a, saturday afternoon you got,
the one, the only, the hipshaking money, making teller power
man of the hour twenty four, to seven the one
your mother warned, You, about doug you freshman the house
with my main man to, the right and you get
a little, ABSOLUTELY, Look pm i'm not talking about.
Speaker 2: That moment i'm talking about the admiraal, the airwaves Mister.
Speaker 3: BELL moran i want video.
Speaker 2: Of you at.
Speaker 3: That concert, no, video, no, NO no i want video from.
Speaker 2: THAT concert i want to see you Do an erica
pounces up and down one beer after, the other, dirty
martinis three hundred dollars. Bar, bill, yeah baby that's. Called,
living yeah that's. Right man i'm gonna have a dirty. Martini.
Speaker 3: Later.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah my friend's. Turning fifty?
Speaker 8: Oh.
Speaker 2: Nice yeah so what's?
Speaker 6: Her?
Speaker 3: Name?
Speaker 2: KRISTIN oh I do?
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: Krista McGrath, all right. Very nice we went to it.
Happy birthday we went to speaking A. C dc i
got raised about this probably ten. Years ago we went
to an air supply Cancer me Christine And, chris english
who's a friend and a helper of my breast. Cancer
fundraiser my buddy's got winded. In love i'm, Alla love
i'm so much. ABOUT you I knew i, was Wrong
believe so.
Speaker 3: How great was?
Speaker 5: The?
Speaker 2: Concert listen my buddy's busted. MY balls i went to share.
WITH friends i got. My balls, bus said but air
supply it was a whole. Different Level and, i'm, Like look,
i'm like what is your problem with? Air, supply okay not,
A guy. I go i have three sisters in. The
eighties if you're playing something on your, record player you
didn't have these. Fucking headphones the whole House, Is HEREIA
so i know air. SUPPLY songs i know Every Song
Degrease little House. In prairie but what was the air? Supply, show,
like well after fifteen Fireballs that chris, snuck in we
had we almost got, a fight believe it. Or Not, why,
so like where do you want? To go we're drinking
the whole way, out, there. Drinking gambling chris is brought
in a whole bunch of. Little Fireballs so i'm just
grabbing go to the bathroom. Doing shots let's go to the.
Second level there's a, handicap area and you're around where
everybody goes down, to sit so you're out of, everybody's
way and you get to look down on the band
and there's a big screen. Right there see just, YOU
know i. Like it THAT'S why i like. To say
so there's nobody in The Handicap so Chris and christine
are sitting there and literally this guy rolls up in.
Speaker 3: His wheelchair he almost got, a handcap.
Speaker 2: And she starts Yelling at Chris. And, christine, uh yeah
we have all, these seats they're. All ours i'm, like
Okay and i'm not thinking. About it, i'm drunk. And
uh they go get a security guard and the security
card comes Over and chris picks up the lady's purse
to give it to her because she dropped it and
she fucking snatched it out of. Her Hand and, i'm,
Like oh, i'm, like whoa so that. Fucking bit, I'M like,
I look i don't know what's. Going on so security
and it, wasn't security it was somebody that was affiliated
with a bad so he didn't know what was. Going
on so. He leaves we're still standing about ten. Feet
away guy rolls up, to me, he goes but this is,
Candy man this isn't, air supply, all right my little
children getting around those groomy handicapped. He here don't, tell,
me baby what kind of handicap? You, HAVE well i
had a motorcycle that it cost me an arm in. A,
LET yes i can. See that pretty.
Speaker 3: GROOVY appliants i bet the ladies digging had bet who.
Speaker 2: Goes down in the bathroom grab the, biggest stall, my
handymata so they don't live in. The bowl, The, handicapped
oh the HANDICAPPED can i could? Tap it?
Speaker 3: You know it's Uh The Lake bob rivers, who, died
uh just a couple of.
Speaker 2: Months ago you go to porn sites and they have
a search engine and you can put. It stop you
could put. Amputated stop you say you're making. This, Up
no i'm not, ignture not but. You do there's a
reason they call. It LEFTY so i just like bark
one night and they have this this porn movie of
amputees and all these women are on they either got
the right arm or right, arm gone and it's all about.
Construction workers and the movie Is. Called lefty lucy, Ready,
tidy no you can look. It Up, after soon the
guy in The air supply concert rolls up. To, me,
Look buddy I'M sorry i bought all the. Handicap seats,
HE goes i just wanted the whole area for me and.
My daughter i'm gonna die in about. Two months this is. That,
JOKE no, I know, i, go so, HE goes i didn't.
Mean to, you know this kind of kind of got a.
Hand anything anybody's. Sitting there, i'm, Like buddy i'm like enjoying.
Your daughter, i'm like. It's fine, i'm like you're in
a worse spot than. You know god. Bless you enjoy
the list a couple of months. Your Life and, chris,
goes well why the fuck didn't he tell ME that
i found. Her person, i'm like maybe he just wanted man.
To man, I'M like i. Don't know the guy's gonna
fucking we're. Air supply. We're, hammered yeah one of the.
Greatest constants. AIR bitch i WOULD think i kind.
Speaker 3: OF think i know it sounds, very STUPID but i
think that would be a fun show, To see like
you have to.
Speaker 2: Be that that's the gift of.
Speaker 3: Being older you can see things for what they. Really
are instead of being afraid to be seen at an,
Air supply i'll never go to airsplan.
Speaker 2: You can go. And, go, YEAH man i love that.
Speaker 3: Fucking music you can be your authentic self more so
older and it's a it's it's too bad a.
Speaker 2: Little youth my sister was there with, her husband, and
uh you know she she. Loved it and to see
her with, that love, you know having a. Great, Time, sure, mike.
Great awesome i'm glad. You're smiling, YOU know.
Speaker 3: I think that would we?
Speaker 2: Go again? YOU know i just ere it falls. Through
CASINO am i gonna go to the strip? Club? Beforehand
PROBABLY i'm I gonna i'm gonna buy five percent beer
and drinking before.
Speaker 3: The.
Speaker 2: Show PROBABLY am i gonna go back to the strip? Club? Afterwards?
Probably OKAY and i can say a. Big toysus here's.
THE play i got Drug that i'm Dancing With, Ginger Simone,
Tatiana Courtney. Mary, Chastity wow i'm all out, Of love
i'm all out. Of MONEY can i have a? FREE
lapdance i KNEW where i was wrong TELLING you i was.
So broke here's the story of the. Exploding, whale okay
this is the.
Speaker 3: News story it had to.
Speaker 5: Be Said The Oregon State highway division not only had
a whale of a problem on, its HANDS which i
had a stinking whale of, a problem.
Speaker 2: Sticky whale what.
Speaker 5: To do with one forty five foot eighthn whale dead
on arrival on the Beach. Near florence it had been
so long since a whale had washed Up In lane
county nobody could remember how to get rid. Of one
and selecting its, battle Plan The highway division decided the
carcass couldn't be buried because it might soon. Be uncovered
it couldn't be cut up and then buried because nobody
wanted to cut, it up and it couldn't be. Burned
dynamite it was some twenty cases or a half ton
of it went.
Speaker 2: In doubt hope, somebody's watching somebody's watching news and the.
GOOD times o marsa. CALLING number i got the you're working, it,
too ready We, Asked, George, Hey, Bill, Yeah, Bob Hey.
Mike grass george doesn't. Open dynamite we're gonna fix. That fucker.
Speaker 8: Anything is we're not sure just exactly how much explosives
it'll take to. Disintegraph this anybody's sayings and crabs and
whatnot can clean.
Speaker 2: It up is there Any chance i'd be more than
one of the seagulls.
Speaker 5: And.
Speaker 8: Crabs uh if there's any large, chunks left and we
may have to do some other, clean up possibly set.
Another charge dynamite was.
Speaker 5: Buried primarily on the leeward side of the big mammal
so as most of the remains would be blown toward.
The sea about seventy, five bystanders most of them residents
who had first found the well to be an object
of curiosity before they tired of, its smell were moved
back a quarter of a mile away with spectators and land,
lubber newsmen shortly to have become land, blubber newsmen soundfted
blubber beyond all. Believable bounds you, ever.
Speaker 6: Buss this's going to be the contain, nine, seven six five,
Four three get, ready done hang on, two, one.
Speaker 2: Okay. Okay explodes.
Speaker 3: People are, getting, pelted pelted.
Speaker 2: Hare cuts pieces. Of it.
Speaker 5: Look out our cameras stopped rolling immediately after. The blast
the humor of the entire situation suddenly gave way to
a run, for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber.
Fell everywhere pieces of meat passed high over, our heads
while others were falling at. Our feet the dunes were
rapidly evacuated as spectator escape both the falling debris and the.
Speaker 2: Overwhelming smell man somebody's car car for.
Speaker 5: A quarter of a mile from the blast sight was
the target of one large chunk just laying out in,
the apartment. Literally, small fortunately no human was hit as
badly as.
Speaker 3: The.
Speaker 5: Car oliver everyone on the scene was covered with small
particles of.
Speaker 2: Dead whale, here go here, you Go. Free willie, oh
god that was one of my favorite.
Speaker 3: NEWS stories i think it was nineteen eighty two when. The,
start no It is, november twelve. Nineteen seventy.
Speaker 5: My.
Speaker 3: BAD wow i don't KNOW why i thought you.
Speaker 2: Was, BORN yeah i was four.
Speaker 3: Months old yeah there. You go, oh, wow, yeah boom.
Speaker 4: Oh god that's.
Speaker 3: That's terrible as we Uh as i'm going through and,
cleaning out maybe you saw this when you Move to
we waste money on fucking dumb shit all. The TIME
and i was just talking. To somebody, they're like, oh,
YEAH man i went down a YouTube binge one stuff,
getting HEALTHY and i bought all this stuff guess where
it is in the box in the CLASS and, I go.
Speaker 2: I will not. Do that not easy to work out,
at home which we.
Speaker 3: Don't, do YEAH but i mean it's like we we
just spend money on. DUMB ship i love you.
Speaker 2: KNOW what i can't RAN.
Speaker 3: UP qvc i Didn't even i've never even.
Speaker 2: Bought it one of the. Greatest scammers. I'M sorry i
was just talking to somebody the. Other. Day goodwill why
you're getting stuff donated and they're. Selling, it yeah all
they're doing is paying employees. And rent they're getting their ship.
For free It's a it's AMAZING that I love, goodwill
TOO so i can go buy other. PEOPLE'S ship i
do find. LITTLE knickknacks i fight baskets for my. Breast,
cans yeah That's what. I'm SAYING and i think it's
great too. For PEOPLE but, i mean just if you
think about THE cans I wish i would have if
there was, ONE idea i wish you Had.
Speaker 3: Good, will, goodwill yes because they because you donate, your
stuff right and You and i'll tell, you what you
sometimes feel better when you donate. Your stuff you clean your.
Ship OUT but i have like a stack of JEANS
that i can't get past the beginning of the cheeks
of my Ass because I'M so i put on WEIGHT
and i CAN'T and i, Keep going i'm Gonna, GET.
Speaker 2: Yeah i have an old shirt like that great shirt
used to look good, and YEAH and i put on,
shorts today go not.
Speaker 3: Wearing, KNEES yeah.
Speaker 2: I debated out. Of this if it's too, tight fitting
you can tell me if.
Speaker 3: It is if that's too, tight fitting, that's fine?
Speaker 5: Is?
Speaker 2: It yeah because you, know WHAT because i ordered A
triple xl and then came, Into nowadays, I'm like i'll
go with A DOUBLE x L and i'll just be comfortable.
With myself part of life is being comfortable. With yourself
SO when i go to that birthday party of day
this is, Coming off i'll put THE three.
Speaker 3: X on you, are okay you can A three x.
Speaker 2: Easy easy.
Speaker 3: I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna stand YOU think i eat?
Speaker 3: A bow.
Speaker 5: You?
Speaker 2: Want particles and, See again we're. So right you know
you think you get tired of that smell.
Speaker 4: Every week every week.
Speaker 3: Goes.
Speaker 2: To, DYNAMITE well i don't want to chop her UP
and i don't want to. Bury her i'll let the
seagulls and the crabs take care OF.
Speaker 3: The i have a friend who worked in the bottom
Squad From, monroe COUNTY and i think another friend of, him, goes,
hey man can you get me some? Diamadite dynamite and, he. Goes,
what no, he goes can't you just sign out some dynamite?
Speaker 5: For?
Speaker 2: Me?
Speaker 3: What why, he, Goes, because UH because i want to
get some stumps removed from.
Speaker 2: My yard, he, goes no you don't you want to remove.
Speaker 3: Your, neighbor yeah.
Speaker 2: What the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 3: With dynamite if you knew, someone, had like don't you, question, like.
Speaker 2: Hey hey, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa what's going? ON here
i question people that don't uh take care of their
dogs or without a leash just, that yeah, you know because.
That's Dangerous and i've had a friend's granddaughter tagged. By
pitbull yeah it was. YEARS ago I think god plastic surgery.
Fix everything but, even that just being a responsible dog
OWNER and i, love dogs don't get, me wrong, but.
Speaker 3: YEAH no i get that a lot of. People Are
but i'm. Saying dynamite if you had a friend who goes,
A dog i got a couple of sticks of dynamite
if you want to what the fuck are?
Speaker 2: We? Doing what what are we doing? With that what are?
Speaker 3: YOU doing i think years AGO when i was, A
kid i remember like the house shook a little bit
and my, father yelled.
Speaker 2: Did you jump out of the?
Speaker 3: Waft AGAIN because i used to leap out of the
Loft down it was like a good eight nine feet,
and uh with the whole house would kind of shake
when you. Did That and, i'm, LIKE no i wasn't
even in that end of.
Speaker 6: The.
Speaker 3: House uh somebody was building a HOME and i think
they GOT dynamite i, think no and like and blew
themselves up in the, House, suside yeah but blew up the.
Whole thing and it was, so bad like we were
four or five. Miles away, it shook like, You know
i'm just watching this, this well no wonder a. QUARTER
mile i have. No idea but nitro.
Speaker 2: Glitcering here remember that some movies or it's in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah wow that was for a drilling through mountains for
the railroad right. Years ago that's kind of. An oops
we made this great thing that we can use to
blow up and if it gets. Too hot it's in old,
Time movies ye had.
Speaker 3: NITRO glittering i do remember a. LITTLE bit, I think,
i think WHY do I think i've done something with
nitro glittering on, a small, SMALL level. I HOPE so
i thought there was some kind of your fingers.
Speaker 2: IN toe i.
Speaker 3: Don't, KNOW yeah i can still, do math, so yes,
one two take. Away three it's the sort. Of Thing
so dougie's got a big birthday party tonight and.
Speaker 2: Picking up somebody from the airport a friend of.
Speaker 3: Mine, today yeah who's going to the party, As, well
no coming in for, the.
Speaker 2: Party coming In. From dallas they just called Me. To
Uber so i'm gonna Pick, Up yeah i'm gonna. Go
home i'm gonna pick up, deviled eggs. Double, legs yeah, thank,
you sorry thirty six. Double leggs take be responsible in.
That drink go pick my friend up for, the airport drop,
him off. Go Home then, Uber there oh you're going
back to, the party Yeah for act Two, fresh yeah
AND then i have.
Speaker 3: A few yeah your cocktail that's smart and, you know
and here's a great.
Speaker 2: Shut TODAY before, i left it's only thirteen dollars from,
my house so it's twenty, six yeah compared to a
ten thousand dollars. D wy if you are you're drinking,
and driving you're. An, idiot, yeah honestly just to sign
a little.
Speaker 3: Little budget let me see this is smart what you're
doing going to. The party you can see lame? Not
lame does it have a little life? In it could it?
Turn AROUND why i need to do to bring some fun?
To it then you leave and then you come back
in your elvis suit and you, Start singing, oh wait that's.
Speaker 2: Your, dad sorry talk. About dynamite.
Speaker 3: Your dad by, the way got a, somebody, said oh by,
The Way doug phelps?
Speaker 2: Is gold Who Not.
Speaker 3: Doug Felts dave phelps is gold when he's on excuse?
Speaker 2: Me. Gold Yeah Texted kathy now before we Left, for
Bingo he alexas, played This Uh, John, hyatt yeah this
Songa and kathy's just kind of shaking. Her head, i'm like.
Don't worry you're gonna hear it every night before you
go to bed as he finishes his day now because
it's what? Is this it's a Song that bill Ends his. Tennessee,
plays yeah so you're gonna hear a lot. More candy
it's a little Tribute to, elvis, YEAH yeah i. LOVE
it i know. You know it's one of my favorite
Songs For.
Speaker 3: Dougie phelps who was blowing Him, Up boom Yes goes
dougie's dynamite and his seven shirt looking. All Summery I'm,
bill moran will see, you tomorrow see somewhere in The
fatas
Speaker 2: Oh that such was shivering in the dark flowerder rat