1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:06,599
Speaker 1: The clock by Arthur Styron. All my life I have

2
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:11,919
had a deep and abiding dread of monotony. The invarying

3
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:16,079
and wearisome sameness of life irks me and fills me

4
00:00:16,199 --> 00:00:21,559
with depression. I fear and hate all men because I

5
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,640
am compelled to shun them in order to avoid that

6
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:29,719
hideous mother of monotony, habit which tears my nerves to

7
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:35,679
shreds and flings them mockingly in my twitching face. Regularity

8
00:00:35,759 --> 00:00:39,759
of any sort fills me with resentment and impotent rage

9
00:00:39,799 --> 00:00:43,920
against the scheme of things. The steady patter of rain

10
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,600
drops drives me hysterical and gibbering to bury my face

11
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:52,679
among the pillows under a mattress any place where the

12
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:57,960
steady drip drop, drip drop is not audible. The sound

13
00:00:58,039 --> 00:01:02,039
of drum beats fills me with such uncontrolled rage and

14
00:01:02,159 --> 00:01:05,760
fury that I shriek aloud in my distress and hurl

15
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:10,200
stones or any missile available at the miscreant who dared

16
00:01:10,239 --> 00:01:16,040
to provoke me. I cannot, I dare not. I will

17
00:01:16,079 --> 00:01:22,560
not endure a drab uniformity. My imaginative and excitable temperament

18
00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:28,239
demands variety. Since I am thus constituted. Is it any

19
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:32,239
wonder that clocks fill me with hatred and terror? Those

20
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:38,760
prosaic engineers of space, with their dreadful, unfailing cadence, their

21
00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:44,640
ceaseless vigil over man's allotted time, their steady and untiring

22
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:52,200
tic tac toward eternity. They terrify me, poison me, madden me,

23
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:59,359
those hideous reminders of inexorable time, time, the faithful ally

24
00:01:59,799 --> 00:02:05,280
of unrelenting and unyielding death. I lived alone with an

25
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,519
old woman who had taken me when I was a

26
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,919
child from a foundling's home. Her I loved in a way,

27
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,960
for she was kind and very old and feeble. Yet

28
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:21,000
she always insisted upon regularity, eating, sleeping, and working at

29
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:25,520
set times. And when I undertook to vary my life

30
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,479
from day to day, such as retiring at noon and

31
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,120
rising for breakfast at midnight, in order that I might

32
00:02:33,159 --> 00:02:36,800
thus break the monotony of my existence, I met with

33
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,400
such determined opposition from the old woman that her, too,

34
00:02:40,479 --> 00:02:44,680
I began to fear and hate. The house in which

35
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,759
we lived was an old, rambling country place of splendid

36
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:53,120
and pretentious proportions, though with an air of pervading gloom

37
00:02:53,159 --> 00:02:58,719
and loneliness. The furnishings were mostly heirlooms and antiques of

38
00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:02,159
great beauty and value, of which the old woman was

39
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:07,479
very proud. Among the chattels were two ancient and costly

40
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:13,280
clocks of rare and unusual design and workmanship. They stood

41
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:17,960
side by side in the great Hall, tall grim and spectral,

42
00:03:18,759 --> 00:03:23,919
regulating the household by their minute divisions of space. At

43
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,159
least one of them did so. The other had not

44
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,840
run for many, many years. The old woman had frequently

45
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,199
related to me how that one had stopped at a

46
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:40,080
quarter past midnight, the very minute I the very second

47
00:03:40,639 --> 00:03:44,560
her husband had died, stopped of its own accord, so

48
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:49,879
she said, or by the hand of some unseen guest.

49
00:03:50,319 --> 00:03:53,120
With her own hands, she cared for, and cleaned and

50
00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:59,159
polished the two clocks every night with unvarying regularity. She

51
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:03,680
wound the living, which she told me with the utmost confidence,

52
00:04:04,159 --> 00:04:07,080
would stop at the moment of her death, just as

53
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:11,199
the other one had stopped when her husband died. Is

54
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:15,240
it any wonder, then, that I feared these damnable machines

55
00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:19,120
almost as much as I hated them. I might have

56
00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:22,480
borne the awe and dread with which I regarded them.

57
00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:26,240
But the continual ticking of a living clock, the old

58
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:29,879
woman's life piece, as I called it, lashed my nerves

59
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:34,040
to such a state of frenzy that goaded beyond endurance.

60
00:04:34,519 --> 00:04:38,319
I would rush, trembling and screaming from the house into

61
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:45,199
the night, the cold, the storm, anywhere, anywhere away from

62
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:51,160
that gruesome monotony, that eternal cadence. There was a chime too,

63
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,839
a chime that gave out a thick, gloomy, resonant sound,

64
00:04:56,439 --> 00:05:00,399
filling me with foreboding and terror, a sound that brought

65
00:05:00,439 --> 00:05:05,319
to mind grim death, and a grimmer reckoning that told

66
00:05:05,399 --> 00:05:12,000
of unsubdued passions and stern retribution. Each quarter the time increased,

67
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:16,920
until upon the hour it became a complete stanza. So

68
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,319
gruesome was the effect of this music upon my imagination

69
00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:23,519
that I could not rid my thoughts of it. I

70
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:28,800
could not sleep, I could not rest. Always I was anticipating,

71
00:05:29,399 --> 00:05:33,920
waiting for the next installment. Sometimes in the small of

72
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,800
the night, I would creep from my sleepless bed and

73
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:40,120
crouch in the dark, chilly hall in order that I

74
00:05:40,199 --> 00:05:43,879
might hear the ticking and chiming more plainly, waiting for

75
00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:47,360
the dreadful music to start again, and then for the

76
00:05:47,399 --> 00:05:51,240
next sound, and the next, and so on until morning.

77
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,279
At times I would make a determined effort to throw

78
00:05:55,319 --> 00:05:59,639
off the spell. I would say to myself, after the

79
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,680
next quarter chimes, I shall hurry to bed and fall

80
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:06,800
asleep before it sounds again. Then, as soon as the

81
00:06:06,879 --> 00:06:10,600
quarter's direful melody had ceased, I would hasten to my room,

82
00:06:11,199 --> 00:06:15,560
shivering with cold and nervousness, and lie with tightly closed

83
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:20,920
eyes courting sleep. But big pointed hands would clutch at

84
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:25,240
my heart, brassy voices would laugh musically and mockingly in

85
00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:29,120
my ears, Until unable to endure it longer, I would

86
00:06:29,199 --> 00:06:32,480
rush back to the dark, cold hall, where I would

87
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:36,199
count the steady tik toks and listen for the unvarying

88
00:06:36,319 --> 00:06:41,160
chime the rest of the night. Long as time wore on,

89
00:06:41,399 --> 00:06:46,240
I realized that my condition was becoming grave. Thoughts of

90
00:06:46,319 --> 00:06:50,120
destroying the clock occupied me constantly, but I could not

91
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:53,360
do it because I feared the frightful thing with all

92
00:06:53,399 --> 00:06:57,519
my soul. On one occasion, I did approach the old

93
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,560
woman with cunningly and clever argument as to why she

94
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:07,959
herself should stop the clock, But she indignantly refused after that,

95
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,240
so it seemed to me I began to detect her,

96
00:07:11,279 --> 00:07:16,279
stealing furtive and suspicious glances at me. She suspected my trouble.

97
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:21,360
She knew, Dear God, I verily believed she knew my

98
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,519
suffering and agony, and yet she would not stop that

99
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:29,279
fiendish clock. So I began to burn with remorseless hatred

100
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:35,240
for the old woman, a desire for revenge. Then it

101
00:07:35,399 --> 00:07:38,439
was that I cunningly devised a scheme to appease my

102
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:42,040
hatred of the old woman and rid myself of the monster.

103
00:07:42,439 --> 00:07:45,959
At the same time. The old woman had said that

104
00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:49,040
the clock would stop of its own accord when she died.

105
00:07:50,399 --> 00:07:53,800
Very well, in this way she should accomplish what she

106
00:07:53,839 --> 00:07:59,879
had refused to do, and what I myself feared to do. Yes,

107
00:08:00,639 --> 00:08:04,480
I resolved to kill the old woman. I felt sorry

108
00:08:04,519 --> 00:08:07,519
for her, because she had been kind to me, and

109
00:08:07,639 --> 00:08:11,399
she was very old and feeble. But she stood between

110
00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:16,680
me and my happiness, and she must die that very night.

111
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,360
I would perpetrate the deed and rid myself forever of

112
00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:25,600
this lesion upon my soul. After dark, I began to

113
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:30,600
make my arrangements. They were very simple. The house stood

114
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:35,159
in a lonely neighborhood, no one would hear. The old

115
00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:39,600
woman was very aged and infirmed, and could make no resistance.

116
00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:44,480
She retired early, as was her wont and I went

117
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:48,320
to my room to listen and wait. I planned to

118
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:52,440
wait until the midnight hour had struck, and then accomplished

119
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,759
the deed before the clock should begin another day with

120
00:08:55,879 --> 00:09:01,320
its quarter's melody, hardly breathing. Touched in my room until

121
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:05,240
the midnight hour had struck. Waited until the last note

122
00:09:05,279 --> 00:09:08,559
of the awful dirge had faded into the dreadful stillness

123
00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:13,279
of night. Then, carrying in my hands a small hatchet,

124
00:09:13,759 --> 00:09:16,720
I made my way stealthily toward the old woman's room.

125
00:09:17,919 --> 00:09:22,799
I moved very slowly and cautiously, inch by inch, creeping

126
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:26,399
on my hands and knees so as to make no sound.

127
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:31,600
On my way. I paused before the tall, grim clock

128
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:37,399
to gloat. Monster. I gibbered in a high, thin voice,

129
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,039
for I did not wish the old woman to hear

130
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:46,399
and become alarmed. Fiend, damned soul, Never again will you

131
00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:50,480
raise your hellish voice. Never again shall I tremble and

132
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:55,639
shake with terror at your taunting melody. Never again, for

133
00:09:55,879 --> 00:10:00,440
soon you will be forever stilled in my excite, I

134
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,919
had unconsciously allowed my voice to rise to a shrill,

135
00:10:04,279 --> 00:10:09,240
piercing treble. Rage possessed me. I rose to my feet

136
00:10:09,279 --> 00:10:13,279
and shook my fist at its evil shape. I screamed

137
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,360
maledictions and curses at it, and laughed with fiendish joy

138
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:22,919
and triumph. Agent of hell, I shrieked, brandishing my hatchet

139
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,559
and dancing in a frenzy of hate. You have spoken

140
00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:31,799
your last. You shall never never use your brassy lungs again.

141
00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:36,840
The words were scarcely out of my mouth, when on

142
00:10:37,039 --> 00:10:42,360
the clear, dreadful stillness of the night, there broke a sound, hoarse,

143
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:48,720
bold mocking, a sound that froze my blood, that made

144
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:53,240
my hair rise with terror, that filled me with surging fury.

145
00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:58,480
I had miscalculated my time, because I had not gone

146
00:10:58,519 --> 00:11:02,240
by the clock. The demon was beginning to strike the

147
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:08,080
quarter to mock me beginning. But no more, For with

148
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,279
the first note, such a wave of rage and loathing

149
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:15,399
swept over me. Hatred of the monster, and the fury

150
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:19,120
at having been thwarted in my plans that I forgot,

151
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:23,279
my fear, forgot everything save that I was mad. I

152
00:11:23,399 --> 00:11:28,240
uttered an awful cry, and leaped upon it. With superhuman strength.

153
00:11:28,279 --> 00:11:31,440
I dashed it to the floor, where it fell with

154
00:11:31,519 --> 00:11:36,759
a terrific crash. Shrieking invectives, I tore into its vitals

155
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:43,759
with my bare hands, destroying mangling devil. I raved, you

156
00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:50,080
shall not speak, you shall not, you shall not. In

157
00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:53,559
a few minutes, it was a complete wreck. It lay

158
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:58,159
on the floor, bruised, broken, seeming in my excited imagination

159
00:11:58,879 --> 00:12:04,000
like a murdered thing, laughing loudly and shrilly, and clutching

160
00:12:04,039 --> 00:12:07,639
in my wounded, blood stained hands the remnants of the

161
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:13,039
mutilated machine. I rushed to the old woman's room. She

162
00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:17,039
lay quietly on the bed, gazing at me with horror

163
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:22,519
dilated eyes. See, I screamed, throwing the bloody remnants upon

164
00:12:22,519 --> 00:12:27,200
the floor. See, old woman, there is your clock. Now

165
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:33,039
it will hardly stop when you die. Ha ha. Then

166
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:37,000
a strange feeling of awe crept over me. I ceased

167
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:41,320
raving and looked intently at the old woman. In the

168
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,000
pale light of a flickering candle, I could see that

169
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:48,240
she still gazed at me with horror dilated eyes. But

170
00:12:48,399 --> 00:12:52,559
now I saw that they were sightless. The old woman

171
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:59,120
was dead. She had died when the clock stopped. The

172
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,720
End of the Clock by Arthur Styron

