Speaker 1: It's night with Dan Ray. I'm Delli Fleas, Boston News Radio.
Speaker 2: All Right, it's Valentine's Day night.
Speaker 3: I hope all of you have had a wonderful Valentine's Day.
Speaker 3: It's that day during the year when all of us
Speaker 3: focus on our love lives and whether they're satisfactory to
Speaker 3: us or whether they're not. Some Valentine's days are good.
Speaker 3: Some Valentine's days are not so good. And with us
Speaker 3: tonight to celebrate Valentine's Day and the release of her
Speaker 3: new book, Shot at Love is Boston photographer really an
Speaker 3: extraordinary person and a friend of mine.
Speaker 2: I'm a friend of their families.
Speaker 3: The Brett family of Dorchester who produced these fabulous photographers,
Speaker 3: and certainly right there amidst amidst the best of them
Speaker 3: is Carrie Brett. Carrie Brett, welcome back to Nightside.
Speaker 4: How are you hi? How are you happy?
Speaker 3: Valanin Times day and yeah, well for you right now
Speaker 3: it is it is a good Valentine's Day. And uh,
Speaker 3: but it has been a very interesting journey that you
Speaker 3: have been on. You're an award winning photographer. Uh, You've
Speaker 3: You've done photo shoots with some very big name celebrities.
Speaker 3: You've you know, shot for uh Boston Common magazine, the
Speaker 3: Globe magazine for many years. You were the chief photographer
Speaker 3: for The Improper Bostonian, which many of our listeners will remember.
Speaker 3: You also now have a top rank dating podcast, and
Speaker 3: that dating podcast.
Speaker 2: Is really what we're going to talk about tonight. And
Speaker 2: the book that has.
Speaker 3: Come out of that dating podcast is today, the day
Speaker 3: the book actually has been been released.
Speaker 4: The book has been live on Amazon for ten days
Speaker 4: with a push for the launch of Valentine's Day. So
Speaker 4: we did a short press push to celebrate Single Awareness Day,
Speaker 4: which singles call Valentine's Day because on Valentine's Day, it
Speaker 4: shines a light on the fact that you may be
Speaker 4: looking for love or you might be unhappy that you're alone,
Speaker 4: and it can be a hard day. So sure, Valentine's
Speaker 4: Day was the first with the launch day of my
Speaker 4: show five years ago, and I thought, wouldn't it be
Speaker 4: great to launch the book on the fifth anniversary of
Speaker 4: the show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you were in a great relationship at this point,
Speaker 3: but you had some rough Valentine's Days over the last
Speaker 3: few years, correct, And that's.
Speaker 4: Part of the book, right, I had a lot of
Speaker 4: lonely holidays and sad Valentine's Days. I have a hard
Speaker 4: time with holidays in general, and I think it's because
Speaker 4: I had so much hardship when it came to the
Speaker 4: love department. And I'm very mindful and empathetic to those
Speaker 4: who feel left out or alone or have lost somebody.
Speaker 4: And if you've lost someone that you've loved, whether our
Speaker 4: relationship is ended or that passed away, it can be
Speaker 4: very trying. And I wanted to create a movement in
Speaker 4: a community for people to feel less alone. So that's
Speaker 4: what I've done with my show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the podcast is going well as I understand
Speaker 3: it correct, It's gone great.
Speaker 4: I love it. I love every minute of it. I
Speaker 4: bring the most amazing people into my life. The episodes
Speaker 4: that I produce are fascinating to me. And I say
Speaker 4: all the time that I think I created the show.
Speaker 4: I created the show for people who were struggling and
Speaker 4: people who are having a hard time on dating apps
Speaker 4: because I was one of those people. And and in
Speaker 4: the end, I think I actually did that show for
Speaker 4: me because it's so rewarding. It makes me so happy
Speaker 4: that I can help people.
Speaker 3: Well, let's I want to talk about it and it's
Speaker 3: it's interesting you you disclosed to me the other day
Speaker 3: that there came a point in your life where you
Speaker 3: were working and your your relationship fell apart. A lot
Speaker 3: of people have relationships that fall apart. And I'm sure
Speaker 3: that first Valentine's Day was tough. Your birthday also, as
Speaker 3: I understand, is February eleventh, so you could have sort
Speaker 3: of had the double whammy, if you will, of a
Speaker 3: few tough birthdays backed up by some tough Valentine's Days.
Speaker 3: Tell us some just just you know, sketch out the story,
Speaker 3: and then I want to sketch out all the people
Speaker 3: who you have interviewed, who you have photographed, and what
Speaker 3: lessons you've learned from this entire experience.
Speaker 4: Okay, so let me take you back about twenty years ago.
Speaker 4: My marriage was falling apart, and I had a one
Speaker 4: year old and I was getting divorced, and I went
Speaker 4: through a three year custody battle that was very difficult,
Speaker 4: and I found myself dating with a baby on my hip,
Speaker 4: pre dating apps or cell phones or texting or any
Speaker 4: of those things. And then I was in a long
Speaker 4: term relationship for eight years and the bottom fell out
Speaker 4: of that suddenly as they do, and I had one
Speaker 4: of my very young photography assistants decided to put me
Speaker 4: on Tinder, and so I became an early evolution dating
Speaker 4: app user of Tinder, and my whole world opened up.
Speaker 4: And little by little, by using the dating app, one
Speaker 4: swipe and one day at a time, I rebuilt my
Speaker 4: life back and slowly rebuilt my confidence. So where I
Speaker 4: was struggling was that I was a successful person on paper.
Speaker 4: I was a business owner. I had a high pressure
Speaker 4: job photographing covers for the leading leading city magazine, and
Speaker 4: I had no information and I was I certainly couldn't
Speaker 4: tell anyone what was behind the lens of my life,
Speaker 4: and I desperately tried to help myself, and I couldn't
Speaker 4: because I didn't have any strategy. But I did have
Speaker 4: this little device call Tender that changed everything for me
Speaker 4: and Jerry.
Speaker 5: Was there not a period of time when many people
Speaker 5: were certainly you know those so sort of dating apps
Speaker 5: had just come along, But it wasn't something that you
Speaker 5: were going to probably advertise that you were on Tinder.
Speaker 3: Wasn't this sort of a stigma at some point attached
Speaker 3: to that into It wasn't something that you would be advertising.
Speaker 2: I'm on Tinder right well.
Speaker 4: Right, No, certainly not as a single mom living in Hingham.
Speaker 4: I think I joked that I was probably one of
Speaker 4: the only people at the time because it was new
Speaker 4: and so people didn't know anything about it. But also
Speaker 4: to get divorced with the baby back then was also
Speaker 4: difficult and not the norm, and so I was a
Speaker 4: trailblazer in that sense. But that was my reality, that
Speaker 4: was my situation, and I had to trail a.
Speaker 3: Tough trail to blaze, to carry it is it is.
Speaker 4: But I wasn't afraid of dating apps. I made my
Speaker 4: own decision. I listened to my intuition and I had
Speaker 4: luck there and I liked it, and I had a
Speaker 4: lot of luck because I don't think I had a
Speaker 4: lot of competition because there wasn't a lot of women
Speaker 4: in my age at forty three on it. And then
Speaker 4: I also knew that online dating with marketing and branding
Speaker 4: at its best, and that was something that I was
Speaker 4: an expert in. And so God, do you have a question, jam.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, In other words, is this part of the book?
Speaker 3: In other words, that you've written this book to basically
Speaker 3: give other people who find themselves in a bad situation
Speaker 3: that has that has either disappeared or as you say,
Speaker 3: the bottom.
Speaker 2: Has fallen out.
Speaker 3: Is part of this book to basically show the world, Hey,
Speaker 3: if you can do it and you can pull yourself
Speaker 3: back into a better place, other men and other women
Speaker 3: can do it as well.
Speaker 4: Right. So originally that was the first idea of the
Speaker 4: original concept of a book, was that, Okay, I have
Speaker 4: all this information that I've learned about online dating, but
Speaker 4: then it would be kind of I'd be talking. I
Speaker 4: would be teaching or preaching or something like that. And
Speaker 4: I'm a big fan of the Chicken Soup for the
Speaker 4: Soul series and Jack Canfield. No, Jack Canfield was a
Speaker 4: teacher and before he was a writer, and he realized
Speaker 4: that how he taught his students was he would come
Speaker 4: up with these elaborate stories and then he could teach
Speaker 4: teach his students through these elaborate, elaborate stories. And I
Speaker 4: always felt that I was that my father was exactly
Speaker 4: like Jack Canfield. I mean he holds corner Duncan Donuts
Speaker 4: for two hours a day telling stories. I mean he
Speaker 4: just I know where his schedule, where his hit his
Speaker 4: setlist is every day because wherever he goes there's a
Speaker 4: large crowd, And because I'm justlike him and Irish and
Speaker 4: love to tell stories, I had all these wild tales
Speaker 4: about dating, but they spanned over twenty years and it
Speaker 4: all happened in the city of Boston, with the background
Speaker 4: being the magazine. So I had all these fabulous characters
Speaker 4: and subjects who were my friends that lived through all
Speaker 4: this with me, And I thought, well, this is a
Speaker 4: Netflix series. This is something really entertaining, so you don't
Speaker 4: have to be looking for love to love this book.
Speaker 4: And a lot of people don't really know what to
Speaker 4: think of me, I think, and they put me in
Speaker 4: lots of different boxes and lots of different categories. But
Speaker 4: the truth be told, more men listen to my shows
Speaker 4: than women, and more men are fans of this book
Speaker 4: so far. Divorce men love it and they desperately need
Speaker 4: help as well as women, so I help both.
Speaker 2: All right, well, let's do this.
Speaker 3: I got to take a pause on that positive point,
Speaker 3: and we will continue our conversation and if people would
Speaker 3: like to compare notes or ask questions, Carrie's going to
Speaker 3: stick with us.
Speaker 2: For a while here.
Speaker 3: I hope we stay talking about this until eleven o'clock
Speaker 3: it's Valentine's Day again. I hope all of you are
Speaker 3: with someone you love. If you're not, fear not, there
Speaker 3: will be other Valentine's Day, and there will be days,
Speaker 3: and it will be other Christmases and other birthdays and
Speaker 3: all of that, and not everyone is lucky in love
Speaker 3: and able to fall in love with their high school
Speaker 3: sweetheart and remain married for seventy years till death do
Speaker 3: you part. Most people go through these days that these statistics,
Speaker 3: statistics tell us at least one divorce, maybe more, and
Speaker 3: certainly many breakups along the way. With us. Carrie Brett
Speaker 3: an award winning photographer. She's the lead photographer of a
Speaker 3: magazine that many of us missed, The Improper Bostonian. She
Speaker 3: has shot photographs and pictures for just about any journal
Speaker 3: that you could imagine. Her new book out today, Shot
Speaker 3: at Love, a Memoir by Carrie Brett. She kind of
Speaker 3: just tells the story of being as as she said,
Speaker 3: after hitting rock bottom. She became an early adopter of
Speaker 3: dating apps at age forty three while balancing life as
Speaker 3: a single mom. She has this podcast, she has this book,
Speaker 3: and I'm sure she'd love to chat with you. Six
Speaker 3: ten thirty six thirty back with Carrie Brett talking about
Speaker 3: a shot at love on Valentine's Day. Uh. And if
Speaker 3: you're out there and you need a tip as to
Speaker 3: how to get back on the circuit, how to get
Speaker 3: back in the game, Carrie's here.
Speaker 2: We'll be back right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
Speaker 1: night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 3: My guest is Carrie Brett, an award winning host of
Speaker 3: Top Rank Dating podcast Carrie Brett. Carry, you are out
Speaker 3: on as a single mom. You were out dating for
Speaker 3: how many years be found before you found the actual
Speaker 3: love of your life who you've been with now for
Speaker 3: some time?
Speaker 4: Yes, about on and off for about two years, because
Speaker 4: I kept going back and I also so, so the
Speaker 4: relationship had ended, but I had a couple of more
Speaker 4: times that of the back and forth. Yeah, and then
Speaker 4: I I was in short term relationships, which I found
Speaker 4: myself having these back to back short relationships. And throughout
Speaker 4: all these failed relationships is where the learning and the
Speaker 4: growth came. And I didn't know it at the time
Speaker 4: that I was becoming the person that I was supposed
Speaker 4: to be to pull in the right person. So I
Speaker 4: had to pull in the wrong person and have all
Speaker 4: these no's to move towards the U s.
Speaker 2: It's kind of it's a tough story.
Speaker 3: Are you still in touch with your former husband with
Speaker 3: whom you had.
Speaker 2: A child?
Speaker 4: Well that was that story is twenty That story isn't
Speaker 4: in the book because there's other stories, and also it's
Speaker 4: the father of my daughter. So I decided to okay
Speaker 4: to leave that out, you know, for my daughter, which
Speaker 4: was understandable. But there's plenty of unbelievable stories in there
Speaker 4: that touch upon But I think a lot of people,
Speaker 4: a lot of single people go through.
Speaker 3: Well I want to get to those, but before that,
Speaker 3: just to get you in focus and in context, here
Speaker 3: give us the names of as you were going through this,
Speaker 3: you were you know of of this, this, I don't
Speaker 3: know what you want to call it, journey, this search whatever.
Speaker 3: You were in your in your job, in your profession.
Speaker 3: You were meeting and photographing some very exciting celebrities as well,
Speaker 3: and you you learned What did you learn from from
Speaker 3: those celebrities? I mean they we see the celebrities and
Speaker 3: you assume that their lives are all perfect, But you
Speaker 3: get to spend a lot of time with a lot
Speaker 3: of these celebrities, and I assume that you came to
Speaker 3: realize that their lives were not perfect.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't think there's any person who goes through
Speaker 4: this classroom really, which is what I call earth. This
Speaker 4: is not supposed to be heaven. We're supposed to learn
Speaker 4: and the struggle is may look different for other people,
Speaker 4: but people struggle through all sorts of heartbreak and all
Speaker 4: sorts of challenges. And when I photograph people, I can
Speaker 4: cut away all the exterior and see their heart and
Speaker 4: see the type of person that they are. I'm not
Speaker 4: friends with all the celebrities that I photographed. I may
Speaker 4: have not clicked or connected with them in such a way.
Speaker 4: But the people that are in my book I did,
Speaker 4: and I was huge fans of and because of the
Speaker 4: kindness and the generosity that they had within their hearts,
Speaker 4: they helped me along the way. And you know they
Speaker 4: say when a window closes or a door, you know whatever,
Speaker 4: the saying is that someone will show up.
Speaker 3: And be that one door closes, another door opens. I'm
Speaker 3: very fooliar with that, and I've experienced out in my life.
Speaker 3: Let me ask you this before we go to break here,
Speaker 3: just give me a list of some of the celebrities
Speaker 3: people will meet in this book.
Speaker 4: Shot at Love Sure, So we start with my best friend,
Speaker 4: the Wing Girl, another single mother, my friend Kelly Doyle,
Speaker 4: who we can't do this with our friends, so she's
Speaker 4: the first friendship. She gets married long before I find love,
Speaker 4: but she teaches me about worthiness and if you don't
Speaker 4: have worthiness, then you're not You're certainly not going to
Speaker 4: find love. And then I take you through the different
Speaker 4: people that worked with me at the improper celebrity writer
Speaker 4: Jonathan Sorov financer and celebrity writer John Spooner. These were
Speaker 4: two guys my publisher, Wendy Simonian epic. She marries the
Speaker 4: general manager of our magazine, our local digs. He definitely
Speaker 4: dug Wendy and they got married at that wedding. I
Speaker 4: meet someone who didn't know it at the time while
Speaker 4: I was single. I would find I think twelve or
Speaker 4: fifteen years later on Tinder a lot of so some
Speaker 4: of the celebrities, Chris Cooper taught me some valuable lessons.
Speaker 4: Steve Carell, Tim Wakefield. I photographed a lot of Red
Speaker 4: Sox players for twenty eight years every year for the
Speaker 4: Red Sox Edition issue and Tim was someone that I
Speaker 4: connected the most with and he helped me every spring
Speaker 4: season and it was just a really kind person, great
Speaker 4: great man. Lucky to have known him. Let's see my mentor,
Speaker 4: Jeff Lubin helps me with my dating breakthrough. And then
Speaker 4: I date a whole cast of characters that their names
Speaker 4: have been changed and their identities and all that, so
Speaker 4: you don't know who they are.
Speaker 3: You also, by the way, have a pretty good relationship.
Speaker 3: I recall with Bill Belichick.
Speaker 4: Well, Bill, it was always very good to me, very
Speaker 4: kind to me. A photograph him twice for two covers.
Speaker 4: And Julian Edelman is in the book. He is He's
Speaker 4: that scrappy player who, oh yeah, I align with because
Speaker 4: he had the determination and the grit to to do
Speaker 4: the I mean, he his mind just shows that he
Speaker 4: was told no. I think a lot of these celebrities
Speaker 4: were told no throughout their career and that made them
Speaker 4: kind of feel sorry for me because I was being
Speaker 4: told no. Not at the magazine, but I was being
Speaker 4: told no through dating, and so that's that's what happens. Though.
Speaker 3: Let me take a break. We've got to We've got
Speaker 3: a newscast coming up again. Feel free to join the conversation, folks.
Speaker 3: This is Valentine's Night. My guest Carrie Brett. She's an
Speaker 3: award winning photographer and host of a top rank dating podcast,
Speaker 3: and her book Shot at Love is a memoir of
Speaker 3: her life, which has been in many ways an extraordinary
Speaker 3: life and also in many ways a similar life to
Speaker 3: what most of us have lived, ups and downs, as
Speaker 3: many ups or as many downs, as many ups, and
Speaker 3: she kind of bears her soul in this book. And
Speaker 3: if you'd like to chat, we got some numbers for
Speaker 3: you six one, seven, two, four, ten thirty or six
Speaker 3: one seven, nine to three, one ten thirty. Back on
Speaker 3: Night Side with Carrie Brett right after this news break
Speaker 3: at the bottom of the hour. It's Valentine's Day night
Speaker 3: here in Boston and all around the world, It's.
Speaker 1: Night Side with Ray on Boston's news radio.
Speaker 3: My guess it's Carrie Brett, her new book, Shot at Love.
Speaker 3: And again you have to understand the double onendre here
Speaker 3: that covers beautiful Carrie Brett herself is a beautiful woman
Speaker 3: who comes from a tremendous family and has been through
Speaker 3: I guess the grinder is the way you describe it.
Speaker 3: It's described. The book is described as a fearless and
Speaker 3: funny memoir of heartbreak, resilience in finding love in the
Speaker 3: modern age. Your stepdaughter, your daughter, excuse me, your daughter
Speaker 3: is now in college. So you were able to raise
Speaker 3: your daughter for most of it on your own while
Speaker 3: you maintained a very active business as a photographer, which
Speaker 3: was challenging. Uh and anyone out there who finds themselves
Speaker 3: in a situation and similar situation and needs to find
Speaker 3: someone who who can in effect throw them a life preserver,
Speaker 3: philosophical life preserver.
Speaker 2: It would be you.
Speaker 3: There had to been days, Carrie, when you went through
Speaker 3: this and again when I say you're beautiful, you're you're
Speaker 3: a beautiful woman, and you're also an awfully good and
Speaker 3: wonderful woman with a good heart and a good mind.
Speaker 3: There had to have been days when you had to
Speaker 3: see yourself that was wrong with me? That I find
Speaker 3: my self in this situation, And I'm sure it's in
Speaker 3: the book. How did you deal with those days when
Speaker 3: I guess you probably got up and said, you know,
Speaker 3: I don't want to get out of bed today.
Speaker 2: I just want to go back to sleep.
Speaker 3: But how did you continue to get yourself back in
Speaker 3: the game and back in the game successfully.
Speaker 4: Well. The job that I had I loved, and so
Speaker 4: I was happy to go to work every day, to
Speaker 4: be honest, And I think that because I was so
Speaker 4: driven and worked so hard that always so I really
Speaker 4: didn't have a choice because I was a single mom
Speaker 4: and I had to keep the roof over my head
Speaker 4: and I had my little girl I had to take
Speaker 4: care of, so she really was my guiding light that
Speaker 4: if I couldn't fight for myself, I had to fight
Speaker 4: for her, and she really became my why because when
Speaker 4: you become that hopeless, it's very difficult to carry on,
Speaker 4: and it's difficult to tell people that you're in that
Speaker 4: that low because if you come from a very proud
Speaker 4: Irish Catholic family like I do, that I think that
Speaker 4: was my hardest piece was that I was very good
Speaker 4: at concealing I thought anyways. I think I know people
Speaker 4: who are close to me could see it. But I
Speaker 4: was always at work early with a smile on my
Speaker 4: face and never really complained. And I think that came
Speaker 4: as such a shock to everyone at the magazine that
Speaker 4: they couldn't believe that I did such a good job
Speaker 4: there and did all these things when what I was
Speaker 4: concealing about my past was was far from picture perfect.
Speaker 4: But I think that's a lot of you people.
Speaker 3: How tough was it to finally say, Okay, I have
Speaker 3: to break out of my circle of friends, my my
Speaker 3: my loving family and and I know your family very well. Uh,
Speaker 3: and I'm going to get on these some of these
Speaker 3: new things that this dating app thing, which a lot
Speaker 3: of people probably would have said, I have no idea
Speaker 3: who I'm meeting and who they might be. We've all
Speaker 3: heard the horror stories of you know, people who have
Speaker 3: you know, bad experience.
Speaker 2: Forget the experience where someone feels.
Speaker 3: In danger, which is a horrific experience, but you show
Speaker 3: up and you know the person is not what they
Speaker 3: represented themselves to be on the dating app that had.
Speaker 3: That's jumping into the deep end of the pool and
Speaker 3: not knowing if you're going to be able to swim.
Speaker 3: That's the only metaphor that I can explain. How would
Speaker 3: you explain it?
Speaker 4: Well, you said that with this showing up. When you
Speaker 4: said the word showing up. What made me think is
Speaker 4: that sometimes in life you need one person to believe
Speaker 4: in you, one person to show up. You don't need
Speaker 4: ten you need one. And in chapter fifteen, I had
Speaker 4: my longtime mentor who's a lot older than me. He's
Speaker 4: been a different type of teacher than my dad. He's
Speaker 4: a photography teacher, but he was a studio portrait artist
Speaker 4: where my dad is award winning photojournalist, so different types
Speaker 4: of photography. And I get stuck on a shoot actually
Speaker 4: at spring training. He flies down to bail me out,
Speaker 4: and that's when he loses it, and he has this
Speaker 4: come to Jesus moment where he's like, Carrie, i've known
Speaker 4: you for twenty five that you're choosing the wrong people
Speaker 4: and the common denominator is you. And you're a smart
Speaker 4: girl who has a lot of gifts and a lot
Speaker 4: of abilities, and it's time that you use your head
Speaker 4: and make some changes. And once he had to be
Speaker 4: once he was very clear, and I was pretty devastated
Speaker 4: to hear what he had to say to me. But
Speaker 4: sometimes you can't see the force in the trees, and
Speaker 4: at that point he could see. He said, for you,
Speaker 4: being alone doesn't work for you. It works for a
Speaker 4: lot of people. For you, it does not. And he
Speaker 4: said you need to shift the focus and shift the
Speaker 4: lens and start looking for a good person, not a
Speaker 4: good looking I mean, my boyfriend's good looking, but you
Speaker 4: can be handsome but not very nice. And so I
Speaker 4: think I used my photography to look on the out
Speaker 4: exterior in the beginning of my journey, not meaning to,
Speaker 4: and it got me into a lot of trouble and
Speaker 4: I had to start looking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a tough message for that guy to deliver, and
Speaker 3: it had a tough message to receive.
Speaker 4: It was you know what, well, I'm I'm very strong
Speaker 4: and I'm strong willed, and I and I have that
Speaker 4: fighting irish and me to to my detriment. I'll be honest,
Speaker 4: I think I get it from both of my parents.
Speaker 4: They're both equally strong in many ways, just differently, and
Speaker 4: so I have like the best of I have that
Speaker 4: for both of them. They're not quitters, they really aren't.
Speaker 4: And so I learned the hard way. But I really
Speaker 4: value my mentor, Jeff Lubin, and I was disappointing him
Speaker 4: and I was disappointing myself. So that was the wake
Speaker 4: up all that I needed to make to do things
Speaker 4: differently and sometimes people sorry.
Speaker 3: So what did you do differently? What did you do differently?
Speaker 3: What you pivoted at that point. You weren't being you know,
Speaker 3: you were not finding what you wanted.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: What did you do is that when you said okay,
Speaker 3: I got to jump on one of these crazy apps
Speaker 3: that I have no idea what it really is, but
Speaker 3: I'm going to give it a shot. Is that it No.
Speaker 4: I was on the dating apps, but I was pulling
Speaker 4: in the same type of person, like literally to the
Speaker 4: t six to four looked like Tom Brady in a
Speaker 4: banker suit, like the same over and over type of person. Okay,
Speaker 4: And they were known they were unintentional daters, so they
Speaker 4: were passing time on these dating apps, and and so
Speaker 4: I didn't know what an unintentional data was. I didn't
Speaker 4: know what any of these things were because this was
Speaker 4: the early game of all this, and so so I
Speaker 4: had to be open to something different, and that when
Speaker 4: I came home from spring training two days later, I
Speaker 4: was on a date with my boyfriend now and he
Speaker 4: too had to be very forgiving and open, and I
Speaker 4: think we both could see each other for the people
Speaker 4: that we were who had just gone through a lot
Speaker 4: of hard things. And I really believe there's a lot
Speaker 4: of great people out there on these dating apps.
Speaker 3: So when I get back. I want to find out.
Speaker 3: It sounds to me like you had this come to
Speaker 3: Jesus conversation with your mentor who was a professional mentor,
Speaker 3: but now he became a personal mentor, and within a
Speaker 3: period of a few days, you had kind of changed
Speaker 3: your focus very quickly, shot at love. So I want
Speaker 3: to find out, and I'm sure our audience who's listening
Speaker 3: wants to find out what you did. So that'll be
Speaker 3: our question when I come back, if you're able to
Speaker 3: explain it, because it sounds like that a single moment,
Speaker 3: and it almost sounds like a confrontation where a friend
Speaker 3: said to you, Hey, you know you got to you
Speaker 3: got to change it up, and you change it up
Speaker 3: successfully within a fairly brief period of time. We'll get
Speaker 3: back with my guest, Carrie Brett, an award winning host
Speaker 3: top ranked dating podcast. She's been through the grinder, she
Speaker 3: admits it, and this is an amazing book. I suspect
Speaker 3: many of you are going to want to buy it.
Speaker 3: And if you'd like to ask carry a question, I
Speaker 3: got wide open lines here. Oftentimes when I do interviews
Speaker 3: like this, Carrie, there are people who tell me.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's a great interview.
Speaker 3: I listened to it, but they don't want to call
Speaker 3: because they for me to ask the question that's on
Speaker 3: their mind. And I get news for your folks, then
Speaker 3: maybe questions on your mind that I haven't thought of.
Speaker 2: We'll be right back on Nightside.
Speaker 1: Now, back to Dan ray Line from the Window World
Speaker 1: night Side Studios on WBZ the News Radio.
Speaker 3: When we went to break, Caerry, I was asking you
Speaker 3: about this moment when your professional mentor came to you
Speaker 3: and talked to you about your personal life. And matter
Speaker 3: of fact, one of the items that I'm reading here
Speaker 3: about the book says your mission is to inspire others
Speaker 3: who struggle to overcome the challenges of dating, just as
Speaker 3: she once did, to rediscover their confidence, reframe their stories,
Speaker 3: and take their shot at love. Obviously a lot of
Speaker 3: photographic metaphors in there.
Speaker 2: What did you do in that?
Speaker 3: I mean, it sounds to me like you came back
Speaker 3: from spring training and you hit the jackpot with a
Speaker 3: great guy who've been with now for eight years. How
Speaker 3: did you turn it around that quickly?
Speaker 4: I'm a quick study like that. No, Honestly, there's people
Speaker 4: that I really value their criticism. And my friend Jeff,
Speaker 4: I know he's had a lot of personal struggles himself,
Speaker 4: and he had a son with bone cancer and so
Speaker 4: he was photographing health each children while his son was
Speaker 4: in the hospital for a long period of time, and
Speaker 4: so he knew real struggle. And yeah, it was really powerful,
Speaker 4: like he could see he saw a lot of himself
Speaker 4: in me, different types of struggle. Like I mentioned earlier,
Speaker 4: But what I was doing essentially was I was judging
Speaker 4: a book by its cover, and I was messing out
Speaker 4: on wonderful people. And when I say judging a book
Speaker 4: by cover, the photograph that my boyfriend put up with
Speaker 4: a photograph of him and his brother, so I don't
Speaker 4: know who I'm swiping on again, early early years of Tinder.
Speaker 4: And then he and then he had a line that
Speaker 4: said looking for love in all the wrong places, and
Speaker 4: I was like, that's I didn't know if that was
Speaker 4: funny or not. I thought, now, I kind of like it,
Speaker 4: but I judged that right. And then he went to
Speaker 4: the same college as my uncle Jim, and he went
Speaker 4: to American University, and I had a connection there with
Speaker 4: that because I knew that my dad's younger brother went there.
Speaker 4: So I thought, well, he must be smart because my
Speaker 4: uncle Jim's smart.
Speaker 2: And a puzzle. You're kind, You're putting together pieces of
Speaker 2: a puzzle.
Speaker 4: It seems to me right. So I didn't really like
Speaker 4: the looking for love. I didn't know who I was
Speaker 4: swiping on. But see now I'm opened. And the first
Speaker 4: thing he said to me was do you like the Bachelor?
Speaker 4: And are you watching the Bachelor? And I was like, no,
Speaker 4: I don't even what, Like, I just didn't watch those
Speaker 4: kind of shows. Now I watch them with him, and
Speaker 4: we love them. But like, see, you can easily judge
Speaker 4: people really quickly by certain things they say, certain things
Speaker 4: they put in the profile. And now I was approaching
Speaker 4: dating with a different do you find her? And an
Speaker 4: open heart, fully optimistic and hopeful. And I even had
Speaker 4: a friend say, if you don't like him, you'll meet
Speaker 4: a girl. I think you will, but she said, I
Speaker 4: know him personally, and you'll end up with a great
Speaker 4: new single friend. And last I checked, Carrie, you don't
Speaker 4: have any single friends.
Speaker 3: How did you have that? And I often say Boston,
Speaker 3: big city, small town, and I suspect that you might
Speaker 3: identify with that concept. How was it that you were
Speaker 3: able to connect a friend of yours who was also
Speaker 3: a friend of his. Is this all over the phone
Speaker 3: or is this after you have started at date a
Speaker 3: little while?
Speaker 4: This is all texting, We're not even on the phone.
Speaker 4: This is the first that's my conversation.
Speaker 2: I got to get into the twenty first century. Here
Speaker 2: go ahead.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I mean, in truth, he really is very
Speaker 4: opposite of me. But I needed in the beginning of
Speaker 4: the book when I thank him, I say, if you're
Speaker 4: a kite, find a rock. So I'm someone who thinks
Speaker 4: really big and touch my goals to outrageous things, and
Speaker 4: he's the balance and counterpart, and so I needed to
Speaker 4: find someone opposite of me that was going to work
Speaker 4: for me. See what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: No, I said, well, what do they I think?
Speaker 3: Not to use cliches here, but they say opposites attract,
Speaker 3: and I happen to believe that too, to be honest
Speaker 3: with you, And you know, I'm not into like, you know,
Speaker 3: Asian meditation or something, but that you have some of
Speaker 3: these philosophers off of the Yang and the Yang and
Speaker 3: all of that sort of stuff. It's worked for you
Speaker 3: for eight years. What sort of occupation or business as
Speaker 3: your boyfriend? Obviously you're in a in a very individualistic
Speaker 3: business where it's you with a camera and the subject,
Speaker 3: and your job is to capture the image of that individual,
Speaker 3: but also a sense of that individual if they're going
Speaker 3: to be in the cover of a magazine or something.
Speaker 2: What does he do for a living?
Speaker 4: So he's in real estate, and I think, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's perfect because he works for himself essentially, right, and
Speaker 4: he works for his clients like I do, and he
Speaker 4: works all the time.
Speaker 3: It's also but it's also a very it's a much
Speaker 3: more tangible sort of it's a it's a tangible what's
Speaker 3: the house worth, what's the square footage? What are the
Speaker 3: real estate taxes? What are the crparables in the area.
Speaker 3: You're dealing in a totally different area. You're you're dealing
Speaker 3: in much more subjectivity. He's you're you're in chemistry, he's
Speaker 3: in physics mm hmm.
Speaker 4: But he's also I think with with people who are
Speaker 4: making the biggest purchase of their life. There there is
Speaker 4: a lot of back and forth and you have to
Speaker 4: have a lot of patients if you want to be
Speaker 4: a good realtor, and he has a lot of patients
Speaker 4: with me.
Speaker 3: Look, Carrie, I have loved this hour. I hope my
Speaker 3: audience has loved it. I know they'll love your book. Uh,
Speaker 3: it's available. I assume at this point, what's the easiest
Speaker 3: way for people to get the book?
Speaker 4: Shot at Love and there, Ariazon, you can have a tomorrow.
Speaker 4: You can get it right away on Amazon. There's a
Speaker 4: couple of places downtown that is carrying it. I have
Speaker 4: it at my studio Thatcheran Spring Herman and the Green
Speaker 4: downtown Hingham. I'm going to be moving into other boutiques
Speaker 4: and if you want to sign up for my newsletter
Speaker 4: at shot at lovebook dot com. I'm going to be
Speaker 4: doing single events where you can come. You can come
Speaker 4: if you're in, if you're married, but just bring a
Speaker 4: single friend. So I have done some shot at Love
Speaker 4: Live single events, and I'm going to be doing book
Speaker 4: signings through single events through the spring. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, carry congratulations on the book, congratulations in the podcast,
Speaker 3: the congratulations and finding the love of your life, which
Speaker 3: is what Valentine's Day is really supposedly all about.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much for tonight.
Speaker 3: I enjoyed the conversation and I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 2: I I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm happy for you on a professional basis, but also
Speaker 3: very happy for you.
Speaker 2: On a personal.
Speaker 3: Basis as a member of the Brett family, I feel
Speaker 3: sort of fair nice.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3: I'll see you at the Food Pantry event in March
Speaker 3: in Dorchester.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, I'll be there
Speaker 3: All right when we get back to twentieth hour, Ladies
Speaker 3: and gentlemen, twentieth hour of the week, and we're going
Speaker 3: to talk about what grinds your gears coming back on
Speaker 3: night Side