Speaker 1: She's been voted how many times the best butt in
Speaker 1: the adult industry.
Speaker 2: I believe I've won five times, four or five times?
Speaker 3: Who's counting though?
Speaker 1: How many? How many people count their championships, but championship
Speaker 1: type of person, champion, championship type of boutet?
Speaker 3: And are you from Texas?
Speaker 2: You know I wasn't born there, but I was raised there,
Speaker 2: you know, So for me, I feel like Texas is
Speaker 2: home and I was the only thing I've ever known.
Speaker 2: I was born in Panama, raised in Texas, my military brat.
Speaker 1: So yeah, but you haven't been very bratty so far.
Speaker 1: You've been very professional.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm always professional, but you know, sometimes people take
Speaker 2: that where it's like you ask for too many things.
Speaker 2: I think it's just being a brat.
Speaker 3: But it's just you ask for one thing.
Speaker 2: I know what I like.
Speaker 1: You asked for one thing and it was champagne, and
Speaker 1: we got you champagne. You did a little warm though
Speaker 1: it was because I'm drinking it too. I started slurring
Speaker 1: my words out there. I apologize in advance, but Alexis
Speaker 1: laid over there. Alexis and then joining us. Rebecca Barrett, Hello,
Speaker 1: professional entrepreneur, professional housewife, Yes, she used to be a
Speaker 1: feminist and now she rails against feminism and modern day feminism. Interesting,
Speaker 1: very interesting, delight, pleasure. And then Natalia del Ville, she's
Speaker 1: on the Ones and twos over there. You know, Natalia
Speaker 1: used to have a shorter chair, and I was like, guys,
Speaker 1: we're not doing the show anymore until we raised Natalia up.
Speaker 3: Lovely gal, she's wearing pink. I'm wearing pink. You got pink.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get the memo.
Speaker 2: I make everybody flow together.
Speaker 1: But are you okay with having a conversation about feminism
Speaker 1: today and being a female who is empowered.
Speaker 2: I am up for any conversation. I think knowledge is power.
Speaker 2: I think communication is important. I don't think everybody's gonna,
Speaker 2: you know, be on the same page at everything, but
Speaker 2: I'm open into suggestion.
Speaker 1: I love that now. On Instagram, I went to go
Speaker 1: pull up Alexis Texas, but that wasn't there. But it
Speaker 1: led me to white girl politick in me? Did you
Speaker 1: take it from the song Kanye Mercy Big Sean?
Speaker 2: That's that I did, did Sean and inspired. You know,
Speaker 2: it's one of those things that because of social media,
Speaker 2: we always you know, adult entertainer entertainers get sometimes red
Speaker 2: flagged immediately just because my name may not be me
Speaker 2: posting anything crazy. So Alexis Texas was deleted quickly. So
Speaker 2: I had to come up with something clever, and I
Speaker 2: thought it was a really good name. So I did
Speaker 2: white Girl Politicking and that's that.
Speaker 3: Sarah Palin and here we are. I believe that was
Speaker 3: the lyrics. We read those lyrics to the song.
Speaker 2: Yes am I into politics? You know, not like that?
Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: I have my opinions, but I'm not like Pull up.
Speaker 1: Alexis white Girl Politicians, uh Instagram, so we get a feel.
Speaker 3: For what's going on. Six million on ig. She ain't
Speaker 3: no joke, not too shabby, not too shabby.
Speaker 1: Hall of fame right here, but it goes by white
Speaker 1: girl politic and official official Alexis Texas Instagram. For business inquiries,
Speaker 1: contact Fred Frenschie. Yeah what happens when.
Speaker 3: You contact him that business content?
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm here right now.
Speaker 4: Damn.
Speaker 3: That's how we got.
Speaker 2: You emailed me and I didn't answer, but he did.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Fred.
Speaker 1: So that link does lead to somewhere. Let's pull up
Speaker 1: this song so people understand who Alexis is. If you're
Speaker 1: not familiar with the song Mercy by Big Sean. Big
Speaker 1: Sean's most famous song, I believe went something.
Speaker 2: Like I danced to that many nights.
Speaker 1: I bet you do.
Speaker 3: Is that an inspiration of yours? That song?
Speaker 2: I mean I had it and I shook it and
Speaker 2: it did its thing, and it made lots of money
Speaker 2: doing it, So you know, I can't be mad.
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about the money today as well.
Speaker 1: But let's get to this line now we out in Paris. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm Perier and white Girl's politick in.
Speaker 2: That's Alexis Texas.
Speaker 1: That's Alexis Texas. Forget about Sarah Palin, that's that Californication.
Speaker 1: So that's a little bit background for Alexis. Thank you
Speaker 1: for sharing that. So before we get into this deep
Speaker 1: conversation today, we're going to do this for about an
Speaker 1: hour and a half.
Speaker 3: Hour forty five. Hopefully you've used the restroom.
Speaker 1: If you drink too much, you can slide out for
Speaker 1: a second, but hold it if you can. Before we
Speaker 1: get into the nitty gritty and discuss money in relationships,
Speaker 1: let's just start off with an easy question. Are you single,
Speaker 1: married relationship? What's your relationship status?
Speaker 2: Who says that's an easy question. I am single. Yeah, single.
Speaker 2: That's really as dry as it can be. There's nothing
Speaker 2: happening out there. Dating is not always easy for someone
Speaker 2: who's been in the adult entertainment business, even though I
Speaker 2: haven't shot any like adult content really like that in
Speaker 2: over five years for the company. I shoot my own
Speaker 2: stuff for my own only fans, but I don't shoot
Speaker 2: with other partners. I just shoot with myself only. But
Speaker 2: I think it's just the stigma. I think people are
Speaker 2: intimidated because I am an alpha female and sometimes, you know,
Speaker 2: it takes a strong individual to break those walls down,
Speaker 2: and some people aren't always up for the challenge. And
Speaker 2: I'm okay with that because that means they're not meant
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 1: So you consider yourself an alpha female? Do you consider
Speaker 1: yourself an alpha female? No, not at all.
Speaker 3: So we're going to get into what.
Speaker 1: An alpha female is and what is a more of
Speaker 1: a feminine female? Is that what's the opposite of an
Speaker 1: alpha female?
Speaker 4: Feminine?
Speaker 3: Okay, so, but you're also pretty feminine I am.
Speaker 2: I think you have to have masculine and feminine. I
Speaker 2: think everybody has those two regardless, you know, just in general, yeah,
Speaker 2: to coexists. But I think that my my masculine comes
Speaker 2: out a little bit more sometimes because of even my persona,
Speaker 2: of who I am and how I have to move
Speaker 2: for business or whatever. In my personal life, I'm more
Speaker 2: feminine as far as the energy that I give off,
Speaker 2: it just depends.
Speaker 3: So we're going to.
Speaker 1: Talk about that before we Before we move on to that,
Speaker 1: let's stay on the relationship status. You said that you're single, single,
Speaker 1: ready to mingle, single, ready to mingle. I assume that
Speaker 1: you have no shortage of suitors out there, hollering, sliding
Speaker 1: in DMS approaching.
Speaker 2: I don't really look at my DMS. I don't really
Speaker 2: feel like there's anyone knocking down my door.
Speaker 4: Really.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know what this is about.
Speaker 3: Well, let's help.
Speaker 1: Alexis out, Alexis. What is your ideal man?
Speaker 2: My ideal man. I need a strong, confident, independent man
Speaker 2: that's not afraid to have somebody like myself be an individual,
Speaker 2: myself but also a partner. I think it takes a
Speaker 2: strong person to allow people to continue to grow whoever
Speaker 2: you are as a person individually and together. I think
Speaker 2: that people kind of stop sometimes when you get in
Speaker 2: relationships it's just unit ere. It's like a unit. And
Speaker 2: I think that people sometimes stop and forget who they are,
Speaker 2: and then they stop and they just grow as a
Speaker 2: relationship and then at the end sometimes that not always
Speaker 2: works out. So for me, I feel like it's really
Speaker 2: it's for me in my personal life. I need someone
Speaker 2: that's going to allow me to flourish and if it's
Speaker 2: creatively or whatever, and be my biggest supporter, but also
Speaker 2: be there to real me and at times as well.
Speaker 3: So let's talk about reeling you in. So you said that.
Speaker 1: The first word you said is I want a strong man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you did say that, But you're also a self proclaimed
Speaker 1: alpha female. So what happens if this strong man hypothetical questionnaire,
Speaker 1: if this strong man says, take a backseat, miss alpha
Speaker 1: female next?
Speaker 2: Really, yes, so you're saying I do want an alpha male,
Speaker 2: but an alpha male male who's actually an alpha male
Speaker 2: is not intimidated by a woman trying to be who
Speaker 2: she is really because I don't think it's me trying
Speaker 2: to be domineering to a point where I'm controlling the
Speaker 2: relationship or that person. I think it's just allowing me
Speaker 2: to be me without being put in a box or
Speaker 2: take a back seat, taking back a seat to what
Speaker 2: like this is a you know, we're getting together side
Speaker 2: by side, not one in front of the other.
Speaker 1: So your last relationship, if you if you don't mind,
Speaker 1: how long did it last?
Speaker 2: Let's see, well.
Speaker 3: Where did I start my last relationship?
Speaker 2: I was in a relationship for two and a half years?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Was that an alpha male?
Speaker 4: He was?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And what happened with that? And why didn't that work out?
Speaker 1: Without getting all in the details, but if he was
Speaker 1: an alpha male, strong female, was he not on board?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 2: But I think I don't think that that's just the
Speaker 2: when you find that quality where you stop from there?
Speaker 2: There's other things on the checklist. There's other things, there's
Speaker 2: other standards, there's other things that may seemed okay in
Speaker 2: the beginning, but overall things time, things change instead of people,
Speaker 2: and it's okay to change what you want from a
Speaker 2: relationship and then move accordingly. And I had to move
Speaker 2: accordingly and it was no longer serving of me. So
Speaker 2: therefore you get cut off, so.
Speaker 4: You ended the relationship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay, So let's incorporate Rebecca for a second.
Speaker 1: So you used to be more of an alpha female, right,
Speaker 1: you were working as.
Speaker 4: A I had to do companies. Yeah, okay, two companies,
Speaker 4: raised some money, written in Huffington posts, whatever magazine available,
Speaker 4: And yeah, I was an alpha. I was an alpha female,
Speaker 4: alpha dog, constantly hustling, constantly working. That was my life.
Speaker 1: Got it? But something changed? Yeah, walk us through that.
Speaker 4: So I realized, you know, as much as I accomplished
Speaker 4: in my career, I was in all of that stuff,
Speaker 4: raised money. All that stuff is great, right, all of
Speaker 4: that stuff is great. But then I would come home
Speaker 4: and no one's there. I would be n actually single, and
Speaker 4: I'd be asking myself why am I single? Why am
Speaker 4: I alone? Why am I here? And so I had
Speaker 4: to do a lot of self work and realize that
Speaker 4: my attitude, I was a competitive person in all like
Speaker 4: that translated into all my relationships, my work relationships, my
Speaker 4: my like family, familiar relationships, and also in my romantic relationships.
Speaker 4: And from there, I was like, Okay, we have to
Speaker 4: make a change. If I don't make a change for myself,
Speaker 4: Like clearly I've been doing this for ten years and
Speaker 4: still single, still here, still like coming home alone. And
Speaker 4: so I really had to deep dive take accountability look
Speaker 4: at myself in the mirror and say, it's not these
Speaker 4: people that are the problem, like you are the problem.
Speaker 4: You are, You are the issue here and maybe need
Speaker 4: to make a change.
Speaker 1: So if I'm understanding this correctly, priority number one when
Speaker 1: you were more of a boss babe was make money
Speaker 1: work and then you would get home and there'd be
Speaker 1: nobody there. So you had to look in the mirror
Speaker 1: and say, I need to make a change. Right. So
Speaker 1: then you met your husband, you're married, now you have
Speaker 1: a kid. So walk us through that process of becoming
Speaker 1: you know, more of a feminine woman, housewife, you know,
Speaker 1: going through that metamorphosis from the alpha female.
Speaker 3: Walk us through that process.
Speaker 4: So I read a lot of Jordan Pusten, and I
Speaker 4: think that helped me a lot because when I was
Speaker 4: in the feminist like mindset, it was all blame everyone
Speaker 4: else for your issues. It's all everyone else's fault and
Speaker 4: I don't have to take accountability for any of my actions.
Speaker 4: I can just move the way that I move and
Speaker 4: everyone has to just move with me. And that's not
Speaker 4: realistic whatsoever. And so I did a lot of work.
Speaker 4: I opened myself up to a relationship to that you know,
Speaker 4: I was instantly attracted to my husband.
Speaker 1: But the way shout out to the hobby.
Speaker 4: Yeah, shout out to James, love you, you.
Speaker 3: Don't, don't, don't even go there.
Speaker 2: Relax.
Speaker 4: And then during during our engagement process and dating, I
Speaker 4: learned how to be a wife and he learned how
Speaker 4: to be a husband through pre marital counseling, extensive pre
Speaker 4: marital counseling, and then you know, we got married. And
Speaker 4: now it's still like I still have to work on
Speaker 4: myself constantly because I can catch myself slipping and saying
Speaker 4: things that remind me of old Becca, the one that
Speaker 4: you don't want to see.
Speaker 3: Really, yeah, what questions do you have for her?
Speaker 2: Because I have a lot and I and I think
Speaker 2: that I don't. I don't disagree abouly. It's your path,
Speaker 2: that's your journey, and everybody has their own thing. And
Speaker 2: I too have done or self work and I understand
Speaker 2: those things, but I don't see the difference of stopping
Speaker 2: being a boss, baber or whatever however you want to
Speaker 2: make it, and then that there has to be two
Speaker 2: different sizes. I think that it's where you are in
Speaker 2: your life and being open up to things, and I
Speaker 2: think that that we programmed as like as how we
Speaker 2: programmed as we when we were children, and what we
Speaker 2: saw growing up is how we end up in being
Speaker 2: in adults. So it's like until you allow yourself to
Speaker 2: take accountability and have like see your needs and what
Speaker 2: your wants really are, and you could have both, but
Speaker 2: you have to be communicated about those things and honest
Speaker 2: because everything even daily work, it takes every day. You know,
Speaker 2: I've done self work the last year, but it's still
Speaker 2: it's an ongoing process from anything from relationships to not.
Speaker 2: But I don't think it needs to be one or
Speaker 2: the other.
Speaker 1: Well for me personally, that's the question that I want
Speaker 1: to get to the heart of is because can you
Speaker 1: be both? Like here we have maybe what is considered
Speaker 1: two polar opposites boss babe making money, killing it hall
Speaker 1: of famer, okay, hall of famer, and you former boss
Speaker 1: babe entrepreneur who say that ain't the life for me.
Speaker 1: I wanted to get married, have kids, be a housewife.
Speaker 2: But being a boss babe and that sort of experiment.
Speaker 2: But that could be how she operates her family, how
Speaker 2: she's with in her you know, in your own comfortability
Speaker 2: level in that level because you did the work part.
Speaker 2: You did those things. That's I'm saying. I don't think
Speaker 2: that should be a different.
Speaker 3: Can you be both?
Speaker 4: I don't think that you can be both successfully. I
Speaker 4: think that you at one at a certain point, one
Speaker 4: has to take over the other. And because if I mean,
Speaker 4: I think your.
Speaker 2: Ego has to be lessoned. You have to understand the
Speaker 2: realist of certain things. But a lot of for me,
Speaker 2: I know the self work I have done, I have
Speaker 2: a big ego. So when I'm having a partner or whatever,
Speaker 2: it's about what who's going to take me to lessen
Speaker 2: those those things to real back on it. I don't
Speaker 2: think that it needs to be linear. I think it
Speaker 2: could be subjective.
Speaker 4: To a degree because where I push back is, you
Speaker 4: know you are a boss babe, you have a competitive nature.
Speaker 4: And the last relationship that you that you said that
Speaker 4: you have, he was an alpha. So if he was
Speaker 4: an alpha and he checked that box for you and
Speaker 4: he pushed you and he and you guys moved as
Speaker 4: like an alpha couple, then yes, I understand there are
Speaker 4: other reasons for why the relationship would fall apart, But
Speaker 4: if you already had an alpha, like, where do you think?
Speaker 4: How do how do you think that you're gonna find
Speaker 4: someone that's going to top being an alpha for you.
Speaker 2: Because there's multiple alphas. There's different types of alphas. There's
Speaker 2: type of alphas that are you know, in different scenarios.
Speaker 2: There's some people who want you to take a back seat,
Speaker 2: some people who want to empower you to be an
Speaker 2: alpha or just who you are as an individual. I
Speaker 2: don't think for me personally, I should have to lessen
Speaker 2: who I am or water down what really drives me
Speaker 2: and motivates me to find a partner. And if that's
Speaker 2: the case, that's not for me and the partner's not
Speaker 2: for right for me. I don't feel like it like
Speaker 2: I need to be one or the other?
Speaker 4: What h like? What does water down mean?
Speaker 2: As far as like how you said, like that's just
Speaker 2: I mean doing things that you like. I guess the
Speaker 2: analogy is like boss babe, Like why don't you feel
Speaker 2: that you're still of alpha or a boss? Paper had
Speaker 2: to be less of or submissive person than being quote
Speaker 2: unquote in alpha because I could be submissive in relationships
Speaker 2: as well. And I think alpha sometimes is misread sometimes
Speaker 2: as far as like it has to be my way,
Speaker 2: that it's only this way and like this, that and
Speaker 2: the other where that's not how I am and operating relationships,
Speaker 2: that's how I am with business. But business and relationships
Speaker 2: are two totally different things.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but a lot of it bleeds into real all.
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying. If you have your own
Speaker 2: boundaries and you have your own standards, then that doesn't
Speaker 2: have to be that situation. There's pretty there's successful people,
Speaker 2: women who still have careers and have successful marriages, have
Speaker 2: children and doing the same thing. I don't think it
Speaker 2: has to be limited to one or the other.
Speaker 4: I believe that that is the exception, not.
Speaker 2: The rule, true, and that's why everybody's path is different.
Speaker 2: But I don't think that it has to like that's
Speaker 2: the end, all, y'all.
Speaker 3: Let me ask you this. Do you you want to
Speaker 3: get married?
Speaker 2: I have been married, you have. I'm divorced happily for
Speaker 2: eight years. But I liked I was married. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 2: but I liked being married. I was married to the
Speaker 2: wrong person. I would if it happened for me, then
Speaker 2: yes I would. I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 3: Do you want to have kids?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't take it off the table,
Speaker 2: but I'm you know, I'm thirty seven years old.
Speaker 1: I really I thought you were way younger.
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't know if that's a compliment or not,
Speaker 2: but okay.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah I did. That is a compliment, I guess,
Speaker 3: but you know.
Speaker 4: What I mean.
Speaker 2: So for me, it's it's not that I you know,
Speaker 2: I've been a step mom. There's different situations where you
Speaker 2: can be a mother as well and other things too.
Speaker 2: I just don't know what's for me because I don't
Speaker 2: have that person that I'm working towards that goal with.
Speaker 3: So you're thirty seven, Yes, so I thought you were
Speaker 3: way younger.
Speaker 1: So my my line of questioning is going to change
Speaker 1: now again I thought you were way younger. But at
Speaker 1: thirty seven, I mean, how feasible is it to even
Speaker 1: have kids at thirty seven?
Speaker 2: It's feasible.
Speaker 1: It's pretty difficult. Do you have you have your your
Speaker 1: freezing your eggs? I will you have done this year?
Speaker 3: Got a girl?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Because for me, it's like I don't know, but I'm
Speaker 2: not going to take it off the table. God, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. So it's like maybe one day
Speaker 2: well and maybe I'll never do anything with it at all,
Speaker 2: But I don't know. So therefore, because I'm in a
Speaker 2: place financially that I can do that. Okay, I will
Speaker 2: do that, but I don't feel like again, I don't
Speaker 2: know yes or no. Like you would have asked me
Speaker 2: when I got married if I'm gonna see with him forever?
Speaker 2: I said yes, look at me now, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. Things change and everything is permanent, and you
Speaker 2: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Got it? So, by the way, this conversation about having
Speaker 1: kids when you're with like you're let's just call it
Speaker 1: co workers, is this a common conversation, Like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: should we have kids? I don't think I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: it like, I mean, there's this conversation with Lisa Lisa,
Speaker 1: and she said, now the kids aren't for me. I
Speaker 1: think she's was in her late forties at the time.
Speaker 1: Now just not for her. You're thirty seven. The windows
Speaker 1: still potentially open. That conversation that you have with your
Speaker 1: fellow actresses, is there, Should we have kids? Should we not?
Speaker 3: What's that conversation look like?
Speaker 2: I mean, there's not like a boardroom meeting table where
Speaker 2: we're all discussed seeing serious topics like this. Everybody has
Speaker 2: their own individual lives, especially now with you know, things
Speaker 2: like only fans and stuff rarely.
Speaker 3: See, but even individual conversations. I'm sure women have these.
Speaker 2: Conversations my friends. Yes, it is. It's still a topic.
Speaker 2: I've you know, multiple friends in the same situation and
Speaker 2: wanting to freeze their eggs not knowing what they want
Speaker 2: to do, or if they've had a kid, they don't
Speaker 2: know if they want to have a second one, in
Speaker 2: all different situations. I mean, it's I think it's just
Speaker 2: a tip. I mean it's a normal question to ask
Speaker 2: at any age. Yeah, you know, maybe I guess being
Speaker 2: a little older, it's you know, your time lying is
Speaker 2: a little bit different. But I think now days, with
Speaker 2: technology and serrogacy and all kinds of different things, there's
Speaker 2: different options that it doesn't have to be just the
Speaker 2: biblical way.
Speaker 3: But if you didn't have kids, would you be upset
Speaker 3: about that?
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. I don't think I need,
Speaker 2: like my biggest thing, if I could have had, you know,
Speaker 2: a kid with my ex husband, if I wanted to,
Speaker 2: But for me, I didn't think it was the right
Speaker 2: scenario and situation in that point to have a child
Speaker 2: be nswered in that lifestyle. So it wasn't for me.
Speaker 4: I actually have a question, did you I don't know
Speaker 4: when you started in the adult interest twenty one twenty one, okay,
Speaker 4: when you entered into the adult industry, did you think
Speaker 4: that your life was going to change in that way,
Speaker 4: like relationship wise, and or were like did you want
Speaker 4: to have kids? Back then? Did you want to have
Speaker 4: a husband and all of that stuff? Like where was
Speaker 4: your mindset at that point?
Speaker 2: I think ideally because I'm from Texas, a small town,
Speaker 2: like the whole fairy tale life of what people think.
Speaker 2: Of course, do you want to you know, a husband, kids,
Speaker 2: all these things. At the time of getting in the industry,
Speaker 2: I didn't really know what that meant. I always say like,
Speaker 2: I'm a young, dumb and full of come. I didn't
Speaker 2: really understand what that meant. But I enjoyed when men
Speaker 2: say that.
Speaker 3: I've never heard a woman.
Speaker 2: Say that, you're welcome today, welcome to.
Speaker 3: Female empowerment, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2: But you know those those weren't you know? Everyone I
Speaker 2: always like said in the beginning was like, oh, what
Speaker 2: are you going to do when you when you're kids,
Speaker 2: when you have kids, or what are you going to
Speaker 2: do with that? And I was like, well, I would
Speaker 2: hope to believe that I would be a good enough
Speaker 2: parent to speak to my kids and communicate with them
Speaker 2: with this as it is. But the porn isn't the
Speaker 2: It's just a part of who I am, It's not
Speaker 2: who my hold existence.
Speaker 1: I don't want to stay on the kid thing too long,
Speaker 1: but I'll ask you one more question about a kid.
Speaker 1: If you did have kids, fairy Tale, you meet a guy,
Speaker 1: you have kids, is that going to be a difficult
Speaker 1: conversation to have with your kids?
Speaker 2: Like, by the way, you might see every video is
Speaker 2: difficult from sex, not.
Speaker 3: As difficult as this one.
Speaker 1: But again, by the way, you might see some videos
Speaker 1: of mommy that aren't exactly for you to see. Is
Speaker 1: that even like again, maybe not even yourself. But I
Speaker 1: assume this conversation happens in the adult film industry, Like
Speaker 1: we had a conversation with Ali Ray, Big Time OnlyFans.
Speaker 1: Girl makes a ton of money. She happened to she
Speaker 1: does it with her husband, but she had to have an,
Speaker 1: as she said, sort of an awkward conversation with her kids,
Speaker 1: especially the younger one. I assume these types of conversations
Speaker 1: are are had in the adult industry, and they're not
Speaker 1: exactly the most pleasant conversations.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know because I haven't had one.
Speaker 2: But again, for me, I feel like because of the
Speaker 2: type of I am, I'm very open and honest and
Speaker 2: like communication, and I would think that I would teach
Speaker 2: my children to be the same way and be open
Speaker 2: as long as I'm not hiding something and obviously age
Speaker 2: permitting of when they need to be let to know
Speaker 2: these details. I mean, I've had younger brothers, you know,
Speaker 2: growing up, and I had to tell them, you know,
Speaker 2: certain things as well, or they had questions. But it's life.
Speaker 2: You know, everybody has the same cards growing you know,
Speaker 2: everybody has difficult situations or topics that come up, maybe
Speaker 2: not personally attached to it, but your kids are going
Speaker 2: to watch porn. What are you going to talk about?
Speaker 2: Your kids are going to have to ask them. Maybe
Speaker 2: they saw something at their friend's house and they don't
Speaker 2: know what it is, but you're gonna have to talk
Speaker 2: about it, or you choose not to, and then your
Speaker 2: kids don't know and they assume what they want to
Speaker 2: and then they have their own situation. So for me, personally,
Speaker 2: the more communicated that you could be and more straight
Speaker 2: like straight up, then the better the outcome to be by.
Speaker 1: The way, I respect what you're saying. You're owning it,
Speaker 1: and it's communication is key. I think in any relationship,
Speaker 1: you know, communication to the point of over communicating is
Speaker 1: better than under communicating. But you know, you said you
Speaker 1: had conversations with your younger brothers or I assume even
Speaker 1: parmental figures. Father, I assume was that an awkward conversation?
Speaker 2: I mean, of course, sex is always awkward to people.
Speaker 2: Like I said, you know, when you have the birds
Speaker 2: and bees conversation, wasn't it awkward with your parents if
Speaker 2: you even had it? You know what I mean, it's weird.
Speaker 2: You know, you don't want to talk about jacking off
Speaker 2: or fucking somebody, and you know with your parents it's weird.
Speaker 2: But it's but there's a difference between doing that. But
Speaker 2: how do Yeah, but why is your kid going to
Speaker 2: do that? That's a little awkward?
Speaker 3: Your brother or following your brother.
Speaker 2: I'm not in some weird from Texas. Doesn't mean I'm
Speaker 2: fucking some inces.
Speaker 3: I've had a time in Texas.
Speaker 1: I'm not assuming that.
Speaker 2: No, But I'm just saying, so it's just a conversation
Speaker 2: one and done. I didn't continuous this conversation. It was, Hey,
Speaker 2: this is me. Yes, I've done it. Don't watch it
Speaker 2: if you If your friends are going to make fun
Speaker 2: of you, that's your problem, your grown ass man. Figure
Speaker 2: it out.
Speaker 1: One and done conversation.
Speaker 2: When and done. I actually really liked that just about anymore,
Speaker 2: like there's nothing that you need to beat a dead horse.
Speaker 1: By the way, I'm one hundred percent with you, guys.
Speaker 1: We're about to have a fucking awkward conversation. I assume
Speaker 1: it was pretty awkward. Don't play no games.
Speaker 3: That wasn't awkward the first I just said, every situation
Speaker 3: like that, a.
Speaker 1: Really conversation, sit down around the table. Here's what Alexis
Speaker 1: is doing. If you like it, I don't care if
Speaker 1: you like whatever, don't like it, whatever, I'm out. There's
Speaker 1: a difficult conversation. Peace out.
Speaker 2: I mean that's not ideally exactly, but sure.
Speaker 3: But so that's what I've been vision conversation.
Speaker 2: What needed to be had, and like you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't And again, because you're if you had,
Speaker 2: let's put your scenario your sister did porn, Yeah, you
Speaker 2: wouldn't be like, hey, I watched your poem. You know
Speaker 2: I mean, like, I'm not sitting there jerking, D're like,
Speaker 2: hey did you do this? Hey? My friends are telling
Speaker 2: me I saw you as this true is the type
Speaker 2: of situation. It wasn't like why why did you do this?
Speaker 2: They don't need to know that. It's my life, my choice,
Speaker 2: is my rights, my body.
Speaker 1: I'm with you. You had a follow up for her
Speaker 1: on this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you when you date? Is that something that
Speaker 4: pops up? Do they know because I I'm so sorry
Speaker 4: I had to look you up because for.
Speaker 1: The record, Rebecca, I had to look you up. For
Speaker 1: the record, I didn't have to look at I didn't
Speaker 1: have to read the bio. Put it that way.
Speaker 4: Is that something that like people just know who you are?
Speaker 2: Not always?
Speaker 4: For me?
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't like to assume that people know
Speaker 2: who I am. If I felt that you really didn't,
Speaker 2: or if I because I think in conversation like I'm
Speaker 2: a people person and I read off of energy and
Speaker 2: so I could tell like that they have no clue
Speaker 2: or they just think I'm an attractive female or whatever
Speaker 2: it is. I usually will be like, here's my Instagram.
Speaker 2: If you want to get to talk to me, then
Speaker 2: here it is so Therefore it's bam in your face
Speaker 2: you clearly see.
Speaker 3: And they're gonna be like, oh yeah, for.
Speaker 2: Me again, I'm not in a place in my life
Speaker 2: that I need to tolerate someone that doesn't tolerate what
Speaker 2: I did in my past. Again, it doesn't define who
Speaker 2: I am. It is a part of who I am,
Speaker 2: and I own it. But I don't think that if
Speaker 2: that's a deal breaker, that's a deal baker, and that's okay.
Speaker 2: I have my deal breakers, So I don't generally bring
Speaker 2: it up, like, hey, you know, I was a Lexas,
Speaker 2: Texas and I've done over five hundred films, Like I
Speaker 2: don't because I just think that that's it's time and place.
Speaker 4: Do you feel like it's off didn't a deal breaker? No?
Speaker 4: For men?
Speaker 2: No, not at all.
Speaker 1: Really do you think men are more into it when
Speaker 1: they find out if they're not aware or they're.
Speaker 2: Like I don't really date very often? For me, I
Speaker 2: like why I related to what you said as far
Speaker 2: as like being an entrepreneur, being a business woman and
Speaker 2: doing all these things, I did have really high walls
Speaker 2: up I did. I've been in bad relationships, I've done
Speaker 2: all these things, and so I put myself into work
Speaker 2: and knowingly doing that, not knowing that I was putting
Speaker 2: up high walls and not letting people come in because
Speaker 2: I had such a presence of like, don't fuck with me,
Speaker 2: even though I didn't think that at the time, but
Speaker 2: looking back and doing the work, I understand that. But
Speaker 2: it's also because I wasn't ready for a relationship, because
Speaker 2: I needed to work on myself before I could be
Speaker 2: a partner to anybody else.
Speaker 1: I love that you mentioned deal breakers. You're saying that
Speaker 1: it's not so much a deal breaker when guys come
Speaker 1: up to you. What are your deal breakers for guys?
Speaker 2: Wow, where do we start? You know? I don't I'm
Speaker 2: very open. My thing is is I I have to
Speaker 2: get like off the top. I don't have any like
Speaker 2: per se like there must.
Speaker 1: Be incial conversation, enough money, not cool enough, you must
Speaker 1: have some deal breakers come on.
Speaker 4: A think it's definitely one of them.
Speaker 2: But I think that I think it comes later on
Speaker 2: with like I don't know, like I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, maybe that's where you got to start, baby ground.
Speaker 1: You gotta figure out what you're before you figure out
Speaker 1: what you're into, figure out what you're not into.
Speaker 2: But that's also part of the work I've been doing
Speaker 2: is I I don't like saying this, but it's the
Speaker 2: truth is that I knew what I didn't like, but
Speaker 2: I didn't know how to implement that in my life
Speaker 2: such as well. So it's like standards and like what
Speaker 2: I wanted from a man as far as what those
Speaker 2: boundaries were, what those like requirements kind of say whatever.
Speaker 2: So I'm still working those things out. Hence, so I'm single,
Speaker 2: I say, right now in a life and a part
Speaker 2: of my life where I'm practice dating and each time
Speaker 2: you find certain things that check the list and some
Speaker 2: of them don't, and you keep on even keep on
Speaker 2: moving on.
Speaker 1: As I've been messaged probably ten thousand times by young
Speaker 1: men that say that you're gonna be on here, and
Speaker 1: they asked if you're single, I said, I'll find out.
Speaker 1: There's a laundry list of men that are out there
Speaker 1: trying to get a referra.
Speaker 2: You just made my first deal breaker. No twenty year olds,
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 3: You're not trying to be milfy.
Speaker 2: At least first of all, relax, the're milfy. I don't
Speaker 2: have any children to talk about. I mean, you know
Speaker 2: you're putting stereotypes on the age of women. I'm thirty seven.
Speaker 2: Come down, I don't have childre that not. I'm just
Speaker 2: saying I don't have children. She's a milk she has children.
Speaker 2: I have to have a kid because I'm thirty seven.
Speaker 2: Should I be considered in a milk category?
Speaker 1: By the way, I did say milk, fee, I didn't
Speaker 1: say milk, take it sexier. It's like, hey, milfi, No,
Speaker 1: it's just moresh milkish.
Speaker 2: But I feel like at least thirty because of the
Speaker 2: fact of.
Speaker 3: You want a grown man, not a hotboy, and some.
Speaker 2: Twenty years maybe it's just not for me. I also
Speaker 2: have a younger brothers who are in the age chiast,
Speaker 2: so they just look like all children to me. So
Speaker 2: that I guess, Well, if you want to put one
Speaker 2: of those out there, we'll throw that.
Speaker 3: We're figuring out what the deal breakers are.
Speaker 2: But you, guys, I have content for you to watch,
Speaker 2: but unfortunately will see me in front of you.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's shift gears here a little bit.
Speaker 1: By the way, if you have questions for Alexis, Texas
Speaker 1: or for any of us, we'll be answering them at
Speaker 1: the end. If you do a super chat, we will
Speaker 1: be answering your questions at the end, the lovely nataliel
Speaker 1: del Vaer. If you don't believe that's her name, it's
Speaker 1: right on her cup on the screen there it is.
Speaker 1: She's looking for a dollar homeless vibes. Please donate, but
Speaker 1: we'll be answering your questions. Is that okay, Natalia?
Speaker 3: Can we do that?
Speaker 2: Yes? But we need some good questions.
Speaker 1: We do need some good questions, and you're going to
Speaker 1: be monitoring.
Speaker 2: Phone number is not one of them.
Speaker 1: No, we are not going to be giving Alexis's phone number,
Speaker 1: especially do you twenty year olds out there exactly? Callback
Speaker 1: that's Rebecca here, she still got it.
Speaker 3: But I do want to answer this question.
Speaker 1: You know the term female empowerment, right, so, I think
Speaker 1: the female empowerment has enabled women to make more money
Speaker 1: than ever. But right, I mean women are working, they're
Speaker 1: they're doing their thing. Just so we can quickly define this,
Speaker 1: what does female empowerment mean to you?
Speaker 4: Hm?
Speaker 2: Female empowerment to me, I just ownership of your own
Speaker 2: like individuality. And I feel like it's like coming in
Speaker 2: grounds of like women, uplifting women. I think that it's
Speaker 2: I feel like there's too many things that we have
Speaker 2: women have a target on our back, and I feel
Speaker 2: like more women need to support women. So I feel
Speaker 2: like it's just all.
Speaker 3: Around women supporting women.
Speaker 4: There you go.
Speaker 1: But the problem with that, this is me just going
Speaker 1: off the cuff here. I feel like women can be
Speaker 1: pretty catty, and I assume that you probably have the
Speaker 1: women that hate on you.
Speaker 2: I do, and I think I've also been a woman
Speaker 2: who's been a hater at times as well. But I
Speaker 2: think the evolution of how you, you know, evolve and
Speaker 2: you grow and you learn things is that That's why
Speaker 2: I feel like there's needs to be more of a
Speaker 2: sisterhood of things and not where it's like we're all
Speaker 2: competing against each other, because I don't think we compete
Speaker 2: against anybody but yourself.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: So I feel like that's why I feel like it
Speaker 2: should be more uplifting with the KEB.
Speaker 1: Changed from when Alexis was more competitive and caddy and hater,
Speaker 1: as you said, two more, Hey, let's work together, let's
Speaker 1: be a sisterhood.
Speaker 3: What changed?
Speaker 2: I think over time? I think I had maybe a
Speaker 2: chip on my shoulder, the fact that nobody ever taught
Speaker 2: me or showed me the way I did it all myself.
Speaker 2: I came from nothing. I've worked hard, you know, and
Speaker 2: I have all my accolades because I've done it myself.
Speaker 2: So sometimes I was a bit envious or I didn't
Speaker 2: know why I didn't do certain things. But it just
Speaker 2: wasn't set in stone for me. Whatever is you know,
Speaker 2: written for me is already in my path, is already
Speaker 2: going to happen, and I just have to trust in
Speaker 2: timing and let that let it be a play its course, all.
Speaker 3: Right, Rebecca, What does female empowerment mean to you?
Speaker 4: Who I used to be? I used and you want
Speaker 4: to know something, We are very similar in that because
Speaker 4: I also had a ship on my shoulder because I
Speaker 4: did it all myself too. I started off not knowing
Speaker 4: anything about business, doing a lot of things, like doing
Speaker 4: a lot of research. Literally had head in the computer,
Speaker 4: just working, working, working, working, working. And the women in
Speaker 4: my life were the worst people around, Like female entrepreneurs together.
Speaker 4: You put them in a group and it's like it's
Speaker 4: crabs in.
Speaker 3: A bucket, really competitive.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everyone wants to get to wants to raise more
Speaker 4: money than you, wants to get the better deals, wants
Speaker 4: to do this, that, and the third. My mentors were
Speaker 4: also women, and they didn't want me to see them
Speaker 4: to see me succeed as much as they did. And
Speaker 4: so a lot of it is very much that it's
Speaker 4: like I would love for women to just hold like
Speaker 4: the thing is, I want women to hold each other
Speaker 4: accountable in a way that's compassionate and empathy like, because
Speaker 4: I can empathize with you and your story, but I
Speaker 4: can also in a sense say like hey, like, not
Speaker 4: me personally to you, but I'm saying if I was
Speaker 4: your friend, hey, girl, like, maybe we need to make
Speaker 4: some changes, and maybe we need to like I can
Speaker 4: walk down this path with you, and because I've been there,
Speaker 4: not the same way as you, but I've been down
Speaker 4: a similar path, right, And so a lot of women,
Speaker 4: instead of doing that, they'll just like they'll say hi,
Speaker 4: like hie to your face right with the smile, and
Speaker 4: then behind your back they're talking crap about you putting
Speaker 4: your name down all that stuff.
Speaker 3: And I believe.
Speaker 2: I think it's also important to know that it's like
Speaker 2: the community that you like surround yourself with. And also, yes,
Speaker 2: there is work communities, but there's also those people that
Speaker 2: I've learned earlier that those people aren't your friends there's
Speaker 2: very few people that I would consider friends in my industry.
Speaker 2: And that's for a reason, and not because I was
Speaker 2: jealous because I always wanted them to do bad or
Speaker 2: they this or whatever. It's because you don't get along
Speaker 2: with everybody, and just because we work the same thing
Speaker 2: doesn't mean we have to be friends. And so for me,
Speaker 2: I was very cautious about who I put my energy
Speaker 2: around and those things because I saw that from the
Speaker 2: outside looking in and I didn't want that. So when
Speaker 2: I started to feel those things in myself, I didn't
Speaker 2: like that either. So it's like, I feel like that
Speaker 2: could be possible if there was no judgment, but people
Speaker 2: are very judging, not just females whatever. It's the judgment
Speaker 2: of it. How you say, like, oh we can walk
Speaker 2: this path together. It's all in context of what you say,
Speaker 2: not how you or it's how you say it, not
Speaker 2: what you say you know what I mean. So it's
Speaker 2: like if you were doing it in like a up
Speaker 2: you know that you're doing a supportive and you really
Speaker 2: care about what's you know, going on, and not because
Speaker 2: you just saying it to say or whatever or to
Speaker 2: get a like exactly, then it means something where it's
Speaker 2: like other people don't have that. But I also think
Speaker 2: that that comes with experience and time. You know, I
Speaker 2: didn't really until maybe probably thirty three up did I
Speaker 2: really like think about the other side of people. It
Speaker 2: was only like me, me, me, me me, and so
Speaker 2: it was like, well, there's I'm a Gemini. So it's
Speaker 2: like I would see the best of both sides of everybody.
Speaker 2: So it's until you really get that core can you
Speaker 2: really start to break down those barriers. And a lot
Speaker 2: of people aren't really to be accountable or even say
Speaker 2: that they're judging you. I get judged all the time
Speaker 2: because I did sex five years ago on camera and
Speaker 2: I've done it for over ten plus years. But forever well,
Speaker 2: people always know that Alexis Texas did portant. But why
Speaker 2: does that make me a bad person?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Does it make me any less successful?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Does it make me be if I had children a
Speaker 2: bad mom?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: But people are gonna put those thingmas because why I
Speaker 2: fuck somebody like you fuck someone all the time, your husband?
Speaker 2: Why should that make you any different? Does it make
Speaker 2: somebody you know or maybe you don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know that I can verify. And that's how
Speaker 1: that happened.
Speaker 3: Human eyes showed up.
Speaker 2: People and these like call it a spade a spade.
Speaker 2: Then we can get more to a connection level and
Speaker 2: grow as women, as people, as individual society, a community
Speaker 2: of all those things.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you, Alexis, I appreciate you being completely
Speaker 1: candid and you're owning things, and that I learned. FRE
Speaker 1: learned from Jordan Peterson, I've learned from Joe Rogan, I've
Speaker 1: learned from PbD. Fucking own it.
Speaker 3: Don't apologize. There's nothing to apologize.
Speaker 2: I apologetically selfish right now in my life. And that
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that there's not room for growth or up
Speaker 2: open things. But why do I have anything to shy
Speaker 2: away from. It's my life, It's my story. I'm you know,
Speaker 2: I'm probably the most vulnerable with my podcast that I've started.
Speaker 2: I've opened up and been in allowed to be actually
Speaker 2: have a voice, and not just like oh she did porn,
Speaker 2: Like oh you have thoughts, you have opinions, you have
Speaker 2: all these things. You have a voice. And so that
Speaker 2: to me has liberated me and made me feel more
Speaker 2: feminine and into my femininity to allow myself to be
Speaker 2: vulnerable in any setting. I don't know you guys, I
Speaker 2: just might you today, but it's my truth, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. And again, like I said in the beginning,
Speaker 2: we don't have to agree when we leave here, or
Speaker 2: we can have similarities, but it doesn't make us any
Speaker 2: different as humans or people, or that we can have
Speaker 2: a drink after or you know what I mean, any
Speaker 2: kind of thing like that.
Speaker 3: Drink right now.
Speaker 1: True, by the way, I'm sipping on some champagne. You
Speaker 1: haven't had a drink since you've been here. Can I
Speaker 1: give you a cheer? You can't cheers? And Rebecca Natalia,
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on that cup right there.
Speaker 1: Last question before you pull up that CNN article, who
Speaker 1: were more who hated more fellow adult actresses or just
Speaker 1: women the casual women on the street or even you know, viewers,
Speaker 1: if you will, I don't know.
Speaker 2: You know, it's hard to tell. I will say at
Speaker 2: the time that I was in the industry, there was
Speaker 2: still like like store signings and things like that, and
Speaker 2: a lot of fans were women.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Change poorn changed the time where like more women were
Speaker 2: watching porn than men, were more openly about it and
Speaker 2: not in like secretive like ways. So I don't really
Speaker 2: feel like I've gotten negative comments or feedback from females
Speaker 2: just in general obviously, like online, Yes, probably someone's boyfriend
Speaker 2: likes something or they found my porn that everyone says
Speaker 2: that I've broken up relationships, that I've never even met
Speaker 2: these people. But that's on you. You're an adult. I
Speaker 2: can't help, but you search. And then in the industry itself,
Speaker 2: I don't really listen to the chatter, so I don't
Speaker 2: really know, Like I've just always just been doing my
Speaker 2: own thing and my own brand, But you don't.
Speaker 3: Listen to the chatter because it can be pretty catty.
Speaker 3: Is that why?
Speaker 2: I just don't even know if anything for me exists.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it exists, obviously, but I just don't. No
Speaker 2: one's gonna come up to me and tell me it.
Speaker 2: No one's it's because I'm intimidating, or whatever the case
Speaker 2: may be. No one has ever one said anything to
Speaker 2: me that maybe.
Speaker 1: It's because you won the best button the industry five times.
Speaker 4: In a row.
Speaker 1: Were they gonna say, sit on them?
Speaker 2: Who knows?
Speaker 3: Sit right on your face?
Speaker 1: Buddy, you I'm talking to you. Yeah, you want some
Speaker 1: of that? She met backed up.
Speaker 3: Let's pull up this article by the way, CNN.
Speaker 1: And because this is essentially at the crux of a
Speaker 1: lot of what we talk about here is that and
Speaker 1: this is an article from a year or so ago,
Speaker 1: but it's even truer than ever. Basically, there are more
Speaker 1: single working women than ever, and that is changing the
Speaker 1: US economy. If you scroll down a little bit, I
Speaker 1: believe there are more single women in the workforce than
Speaker 1: ever and that's having a profound effect on the US economy.
Speaker 1: Working women contribute to more than seven trillion dollars of
Speaker 1: America's economy by twenty thirty. Here's the stack, guys, By
Speaker 1: twenty thirty, forty five percent of working women aged twenty
Speaker 1: five to forty four. We're all in that category right now,
Speaker 1: and the United States will be single. That has the
Speaker 1: largest share in history. According to research by Morgan Stanley,
Speaker 1: who is a very knowledgeable bank, which is call them that.
Speaker 1: Using a data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, in
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen, the single one made up forty one percent
Speaker 1: of working women in the age range.
Speaker 3: So it's trending the wrong way.
Speaker 1: So this is a concern I think for the men,
Speaker 1: for women, the economy, corporations, maybe Corporation for Families for Kids.
Speaker 3: You know, I say this.
Speaker 1: Story all the time. On my fortieth birthday, this is
Speaker 1: a year ago. Friends came out to me, bro adam,
Speaker 1: you're forty. You look great, Bro, you got money, you're
Speaker 1: doing your thing, you got a sick barrier? Awesome?
Speaker 3: Hey is that I won't say her name? Is that
Speaker 3: so AND's over there?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Is she married?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: She got kids?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: Man, what happened to her?
Speaker 1: The point is this, they looked at me differently, being
Speaker 1: a single man forty than they did at our mutual friend.
Speaker 1: Let's just call her Laura being sure. But you're drinking
Speaker 1: to that because sometimes the truth is hard to swallow.
Speaker 1: Not talking about you, and I'm not even making up
Speaker 1: on about hard to swallow. I'm just saying that it's
Speaker 1: women out there. I think I would think a fear
Speaker 1: for women, especially approaching you know, forty, is being unmarried
Speaker 1: and no kids?
Speaker 3: Is that a fear? Are these stats shocking?
Speaker 2: Did you notice that's non existent? Fear is something that
Speaker 2: you make up and is make believe. So I'm not
Speaker 2: a fearing No. Do I think about things?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do I I don't.
Speaker 1: Well, Fear is a thing you can face everything and something.
Speaker 3: That you or make it up.
Speaker 2: It's got a real life thing like it's just not
Speaker 2: but at least for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, So the stats don't do anything to know.
Speaker 2: I mean I've lived my life the way I've seen
Speaker 2: fit and does that on the masses of course, so
Speaker 2: I know it's going to affect her things, of course.
Speaker 2: But times have changed most people. I mean who wants
Speaker 2: to have I mean some people don't want to have kids,
Speaker 2: that's okay. Some women don't want to get married, that's okay,
Speaker 2: some men don't want what.
Speaker 1: Percent of women? Hypothetical question, I don't want to mature.
Speaker 1: You have to answer what percentage of women want kids?
Speaker 1: No clue, take a guess you're a woman.
Speaker 2: What does that being though? Because I know I'm a woman,
Speaker 2: that I have to know if you.
Speaker 3: Had ten friends sitting there, how many would want kids?
Speaker 2: In my friend ten friends, probably three of them?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Rebecca, what percentage of women want kids?
Speaker 4: You have times? I don't, oh, in my friend group
Speaker 4: all ten?
Speaker 3: All ten?
Speaker 2: Because she's a mother of two, so her friend group
Speaker 2: and her community is different.
Speaker 1: Than well, she's also a single female. What percentage of
Speaker 1: women want kids?
Speaker 2: I would say a good like seventy percent of people.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm a fan of the eighty twenty rule
Speaker 1: in anything, I would say that eighty percent. By the way,
Speaker 1: I would say the same thing for men. I've got
Speaker 1: a couple of male friends that don't want kids. But
Speaker 1: for the most part, my male friends want kids. But
Speaker 1: you might have said something right there that I want
Speaker 1: to touch on. You said three out of ten, and
Speaker 1: you said, well, maybe women in my circle of friends
Speaker 1: are less prone to wanting kids and getting married than
Speaker 1: maybe someone in that But I guess my question.
Speaker 3: Is does that does that affect society at all?
Speaker 1: That less women are gonna want kids and they're going
Speaker 1: to be more focused on being a boss making money
Speaker 1: in corporation.
Speaker 2: We're populated already, Like why.
Speaker 3: According to the World Health Organization, I mean in the
Speaker 3: World Economic Furna.
Speaker 2: But my thing is is why should anybody be forced
Speaker 2: to do anything they don't want to do, because then
Speaker 2: that leads to people who are giving their kids up,
Speaker 2: who are not giving good upbringings and doing all these
Speaker 2: things because it's conditional.
Speaker 4: I don't the thing that you just said is forced.
Speaker 4: I don't think anyone is forcing anything. I think an
Speaker 4: ideal work old women would like to be married and
Speaker 4: have children.
Speaker 2: And an ideal world of like what the fairy tale
Speaker 2: like there's a someone's gonna sweep you off your feet.
Speaker 2: That's not no, no, no.
Speaker 4: No, that's not that's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying,
Speaker 4: like before we okay, going to like for me, I
Speaker 4: went to college. Right when I went to college, of course,
Speaker 4: like I thought, I wanted to have kids and need
Speaker 4: to be married. But that's it. That's something that happens
Speaker 4: because of our life decisions.
Speaker 2: And your environments.
Speaker 4: Correct. But also it's like if you if you went
Speaker 4: back into the day and you said that alexis that
Speaker 4: want that woman wanted kids and a husband. So you
Speaker 4: basically have to mold and shape your life to not
Speaker 4: have these things and not want these things because you
Speaker 4: you're saying that you don't want them.
Speaker 2: I didn't say that. I said I don't know. I'm
Speaker 2: not taking them off the table. For me, where I'm
Speaker 2: at is that I'm not gonna put myself in any
Speaker 2: box and say yes, I'm gonna have kids because what
Speaker 2: if I don't, What if I can't, what if I
Speaker 2: don't know, I don't there's a lot of variables. So
Speaker 2: for me is I don't live in an unrealistic world.
Speaker 2: I live in the world that's realistic to me and
Speaker 2: what in my standards and my beliefs and what works
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 4: But do you feel like these things have shifted in
Speaker 4: your brain that you have to like rewire your brain
Speaker 4: to say? I don't at this point in time. Kids
Speaker 4: are ify, a husband is iffy.
Speaker 2: No, I get what you're saying. I think that for me,
Speaker 2: how I've changed my life is like, do is my
Speaker 2: ideal in this thing where I thought before in my
Speaker 2: college days wanted to be like a marriage wife of
Speaker 2: this like world that people put you in. Whatever, or
Speaker 2: is what I want to do next? If it could be?
Speaker 2: Like everything's different like not. Some people have common law marriages,
Speaker 2: some people have multiple wives, some people have whatever. I
Speaker 2: don't know what fits for me because I haven't found
Speaker 2: what that is. You have, you found a husband that
Speaker 2: you love, you have two children it works, or one.
Speaker 4: Child maybe predicting water, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So for me, yes, did my what I need and
Speaker 2: want from like just life in general change over the years. Yeah,
Speaker 2: But I was twenty one then where I saw my parents,
Speaker 2: my mom got they got married seventeen and eighteen years old,
Speaker 2: they had three kids, like it was what they did.
Speaker 2: But now they were divorced too, like these stigma, you know,
Speaker 2: all these things that they didn't know what you wanted
Speaker 2: to seven and eighteen years old? So why does that
Speaker 2: mean that they had to stay with that throughout life
Speaker 2: because you made that final decision and everything's like no,
Speaker 2: So I don't live my life that way like a Skain.
Speaker 2: I was married, got divorced. I don't not like being married,
Speaker 2: but I also don't like not having a partner that
Speaker 2: is a partner.
Speaker 4: Did you end your marriage?
Speaker 2: I did?
Speaker 4: Okay, why I don't have to lot, you don't have to.
Speaker 4: You don't have to get into the details of why.
Speaker 4: But it was there an overarching theme there.
Speaker 2: As far as what from them start to finish or
Speaker 2: just why I left?
Speaker 4: Why you left?
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, that's why I left. I mean, if
Speaker 2: it's a kind of a constant the theme like I
Speaker 2: and it wasn't serving of me, I would leave.
Speaker 4: You're saying that if if this were to happen again,
Speaker 4: you would leave, like if if the man didn't if
Speaker 4: the man did not, It's.
Speaker 2: Not as black and white as that. Okay, I get
Speaker 2: what you're saying, but it's not as black and white
Speaker 2: as that. For me is how can I put this?
Speaker 2: I guess me being married at twenty three or whatever
Speaker 2: you for me, I guess I can't say you. I
Speaker 2: thought things like I couldn't find someone who was going
Speaker 2: to accept what I did. What I did, and he
Speaker 2: was a performer as well, so there were things that
Speaker 2: I settled and I because of those things. It wasn't
Speaker 2: that I wasn't in love with him and that I
Speaker 2: wasn't all those things, but I also thought that I
Speaker 2: had to do this thing because that was the only
Speaker 2: way that I was going to do it. So therefore
Speaker 2: the marriage the marriage, okay, and therefore knowing that I
Speaker 2: didn't really know the person because I thought I could
Speaker 2: fix him or I could do this or whatever. But
Speaker 2: over time I lost myself and he and I lost myself.
Speaker 2: So therefore it wasn't serving of me and it wasn't
Speaker 2: a healthy relationship.
Speaker 4: So there you have stayed. That's usually this. That's usually
Speaker 4: the case, though, that the man will stay because he
Speaker 4: is because I'm.
Speaker 2: A great catch and I wasn't doing it and I
Speaker 2: wasn't doing anything wrong and not to be that atistical thing.
Speaker 2: But the thing was is I didn't do anything. Mind you,
Speaker 2: it takes two to tango with everything. But I mean,
Speaker 2: as far as like the real reasons why I left,
Speaker 2: it was not my doing of why the reasons why
Speaker 2: I had to protect myself and I had to be
Speaker 2: put myself at where I had to feel safe, and
Speaker 2: that was not with him.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, fair enough.
Speaker 1: Let's let's get into the more of the topic of men. Now,
Speaker 1: we just addressed a lot of female empowerment. Respect. I
Speaker 1: think we had a candid conversation with finding some common grounds.
Speaker 1: Some things you agree on, disagree on, agree upon.
Speaker 3: That's the liquor. Let's agree.
Speaker 1: There's no doubt the traditional roles masculine feminine roles have
Speaker 1: changed in society, no doubt. Let's pull up this other
Speaker 1: story about feminization of men. But before we get to
Speaker 1: that question, can men these days keep up with this
Speaker 1: new found empowered woman? Are you are you finding that
Speaker 1: men have a hard time keeping up?
Speaker 2: Are you answered that question?
Speaker 1: I mean, are you keeping I'm good? I mean I
Speaker 1: mean again, are you are you sensing that you meet
Speaker 1: a lot of men and just they're not on your level.
Speaker 2: For me, I feel like again because the world's changed,
Speaker 2: I think, and because of social media easy access certain things,
Speaker 2: I feel like people have lost, Like things come too easy,
Speaker 2: from a swipe of a button to a touch or anything,
Speaker 2: you can have instant access to things, so insta gratification
Speaker 2: I feel like has watered down how men are really
Speaker 2: men in relationships for myself personally, Are.
Speaker 1: You familiar with the term the feminization of men? No,
Speaker 1: you have not, Well, let's look into that for a second.
Speaker 1: So here's an article out here that came out, I
Speaker 1: believe last year, but it was called the feminization of
Speaker 1: Men cheats women of our natural desire to admire strong men.
Speaker 1: You started the show off saying I want a strong man.
Speaker 1: I want a strong man. So this article goes on
Speaker 1: and says there's a reason behind this wave of unhappiness
Speaker 1: with women, the diminishing power of masculine strength. Right, so
Speaker 1: when masculinity is taken away from manhood, womanhood will sufferer
Speaker 1: along with his death. Men are constantly presented as losers, abusers,
Speaker 1: and predators in so many instances of pop culture, and
Speaker 1: therefore masculinity should be redefined. Like when Harry Styles insists
Speaker 1: that manly men wear dresses. We have that picture of
Speaker 1: that young man in address there is so have men
Speaker 1: become too feminine? Is something like this the new form
Speaker 1: of masculinity? And is female empowerment to blame?
Speaker 2: I can't speak for anyone but myself. For me, it's
Speaker 2: like I the same way as said that how earlier,
Speaker 2: how there's a female in any person. It's female and masculine.
Speaker 2: It we have been both in us. I think, like
Speaker 2: how I said when you like to use the example
Speaker 2: of I wanted a strong man, a strong man to me,
Speaker 2: maybe something's different to her, to her whatever for me,
Speaker 2: and someone that can hold space and allow me to
Speaker 2: be who I am and also be their own individual,
Speaker 2: be allowed to show their emotions, be you know, speak
Speaker 2: what they want in their feelings, and like all those things.
Speaker 2: So for me, do I want my man to dress
Speaker 2: like that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: But if that's how you express yourself, why not. I
Speaker 2: don't think that men show expressing themselves crying, showing emotion
Speaker 2: is too much or makes you less of a man.
Speaker 2: I think it makes you more of a man because
Speaker 2: you can be vulnerable and that you can show both sides,
Speaker 2: because there is both sides. The people who don't nurture
Speaker 2: the other side comes out in different ways that sometimes
Speaker 2: are often negative.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a man cry in front of you?
Speaker 2: One percent?
Speaker 1: And were you turned on by that? Or you were
Speaker 1: turned on?
Speaker 2: I was turned off, but it was from a different context.
Speaker 2: It wasn't like we were sharing emotional things. It was
Speaker 2: the endings of things.
Speaker 3: Okay, so the man has cried in front of you
Speaker 3: and it was a turn off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he had done wrong and he was trying
Speaker 2: to cry to get out of his way, And like,
Speaker 2: that's not going to make my pussy wet. It's about accountability,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. But the thing is showing
Speaker 2: emotion and having like those those moments and those intimate moments.
Speaker 2: If I shared that with someone and they cried, that
Speaker 2: wouldn't bother me because it could be a beautiful thing.
Speaker 4: Would you?
Speaker 1: Would you rather have more of like a macho man
Speaker 1: or more of a sensitive Harry styles type of man
Speaker 1: if you need both? So you want your big strong
Speaker 1: man to cry occasionally.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Mean yeah, but the other guy was a turn off?
Speaker 1: Who said the guy cried and he was turn off?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he was crying to get out of his
Speaker 2: way like a child. It wasn't something that you're showing
Speaker 2: me something emotionally that we're sharing and experiencing something and
Speaker 2: you're telling me your truth. He fucked up thought crying
Speaker 2: is going to get out of your way like it's
Speaker 2: a thing like that's not.
Speaker 3: Didn't work, but didn't work, So give me a.
Speaker 2: Crying in general doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to
Speaker 2: be whatever it's It's again, context is everything.
Speaker 1: Let's just play a game here for a second.
Speaker 3: Let's have fun.
Speaker 4: Give you an example.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get to that real quick, Alexis. Give me
Speaker 1: the perfect scenario where this big, strong, masculine man cries.
Speaker 3: And is sensitive in front of you.
Speaker 1: Make up a scenario here, big strong man crying in
Speaker 1: front of you where it's a turn on.
Speaker 2: Maybe we're sharing a story about our past and it's
Speaker 2: something that we connect on emotionally, and it's something that
Speaker 2: you were too afraid to tell anybody else. But you're
Speaker 2: sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with me and it makes you,
Speaker 2: brings you to a point where you get that emotional
Speaker 2: that a you can share with me, but you're releasing
Speaker 2: something that you needed to release in a safe space.
Speaker 3: Okay, fair enough, that'd be a turn on. Yes, okay,
Speaker 3: there it is.
Speaker 1: You want to add on to.
Speaker 4: This, yeah, please do so. My husband, sorry, James said, well,
Speaker 4: there's a video of it. So he cried on our
Speaker 4: wedding day, me walking down the aisle. He was you
Speaker 4: know his he was just a very emotional about it.
Speaker 4: And that to me is a beautiful moment where you
Speaker 4: can you know, share, and that I was crying, he
Speaker 4: was crying. We were all crying like everyone. But I
Speaker 4: have maybe seen my husband cry twice since we've been together.
Speaker 4: And if my and this is something that he talks
Speaker 4: about as well, if he expressed to me every time
Speaker 4: he was upset and sad and vulnerable and whatever he's like,
Speaker 4: that would turn you off, like I And to me,
Speaker 4: I look at that and I say, yeah, absolutely, because
Speaker 4: I don't want to hear about your like I do
Speaker 4: want to hear about your problems. But he has to
Speaker 4: work it out and then he can come and talk.
Speaker 2: To me or are you allowed to cry to him?
Speaker 4: Yes? But women express themselves differently than men.
Speaker 2: But why should it be like be a sexist thing?
Speaker 2: Why should it be can it be female? Why does
Speaker 2: it have to be that way. I mean, because the
Speaker 2: play is that, like you're whining and doing whatever. But
Speaker 2: if you can't conmunicate a kate with your partner about
Speaker 2: emotional things and no one saying I want to boohoo
Speaker 2: cry every fucking day. But at the same time too,
Speaker 2: if I can't connect with you on an emotional level,
Speaker 2: for me, it's not it.
Speaker 1: But women are also emotional creatures that you guys do
Speaker 1: have your period every month.
Speaker 3: That's not true. Well it's true, but it's same because
Speaker 3: you go through your period biology, you're going to go
Speaker 3: through some emotional swings. We get some more champagne, getting
Speaker 3: more jampagne.
Speaker 4: This is this is biological. Men just don't have the
Speaker 4: same capacity because they.
Speaker 2: Were allowed, but they also have it allowed to for
Speaker 2: like because of this whole stigma allowed. But the whole
Speaker 2: thing of people saying that is the feminist people making
Speaker 2: people not being allowed to cry, Like it's the same thing.
Speaker 2: It's because you're told not to do that. As a man,
Speaker 2: you're not supposed to cry. Men don't cry. You're too strong,
Speaker 2: do this?
Speaker 3: Do that?
Speaker 2: Why most people are emotional on both sides. Why should
Speaker 2: I be limited for whoever sex that I have like
Speaker 2: why does it matter? But I'm saying, like you're putting
Speaker 2: on a box.
Speaker 4: And biologically men like under chronology all of this, Like literally,
Speaker 4: your hormones do not allow men to cry in those situations.
Speaker 4: We're looking at the same movie, right, and I'm weeping
Speaker 4: and my husband's looking at me, like, what the heck
Speaker 4: is wrong with this girl? He doesn't feel the same
Speaker 4: he doesn't feel the same emotion, he doesn't feel the
Speaker 4: same thing. We're watching the same exact thing, we're sharing
Speaker 4: in the same exact story. Right, I'm here with him,
Speaker 4: he's being vulnerable with But that has.
Speaker 2: Nothing to do with you. In like y'all's personal things.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about personal level. When you're talking about personal emotion.
Speaker 2: If he's not allowed to express his or whatever, then
Speaker 2: where does he express it to? How does he release?
Speaker 2: How do I have those things?
Speaker 4: With other men?
Speaker 2: He maybe that works for you, that doesn't work for me.
Speaker 4: Well, no, I'm saying in general, men rely on other
Speaker 4: men for mentorship and brotherhood in order to express themselves,
Speaker 4: because if if a man comes to a woman, she's
Speaker 4: not going to feel First of all, she's not going
Speaker 4: to feel safe. And safety is safe in security are
Speaker 4: the number one things that women need. If my husband
Speaker 4: is talking about I'm not gonna have money tomorrow and
Speaker 4: like blah blah blah, I'm gonna be like, oh crap,
Speaker 4: Like I have to figure it out, and that's not
Speaker 4: our space to do that. Like, as women, I'm supposed
Speaker 4: to stay in the safety of my husband.
Speaker 2: Equals Why does it have to be why I don't
Speaker 2: want to be in a relationship that's not equal. That's
Speaker 2: me Again, that can work for you and what you
Speaker 2: want to be. I don't need to be the breadwinner.
Speaker 2: I don't need to be that. But I think that
Speaker 2: those conversations are conversations that relationships a should have because
Speaker 2: you shouldn't have to be worried about anything. It doesn't
Speaker 2: have to be And again context, I'm not wanting you
Speaker 2: to be like, oh my god, the world can end.
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do, Da da da da.
Speaker 2: But there's a plan, there's a plan of action for everything,
Speaker 2: and it's it's a delivery of how you do it.
Speaker 2: But if my partner's not sharing with me what's going on.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be with someone who cannot speak
Speaker 2: to me on every level.
Speaker 4: Well, that's exactly what I'm explaining to you he consults
Speaker 4: with his with his uh.
Speaker 2: Brothers, and I think that's important.
Speaker 4: And then he says, Okay, now I have a plan
Speaker 4: because I was in a place where I couldn't uh,
Speaker 4: I couldn't get to this certain level. Or we weren't
Speaker 4: abounder studying of what No, no, we weren't making money.
Speaker 4: So now I have to I consulted my group of brothers,
Speaker 4: my mentors, right, and now I have a plan of action.
Speaker 4: And now I'm going to express that to you. But
Speaker 4: men process things very differently than women, and that's not
Speaker 4: fair to say to a man too, like.
Speaker 2: Oh, I did do not talk to your girlfriends first
Speaker 2: before you talk to your husband about something you're crying about.
Speaker 4: No, I talked to my husband before.
Speaker 2: Maybe you should talk to your girlfriends first too.
Speaker 4: You know, it could be good, I will say most women,
Speaker 4: I don't speak to my single friends about marital problems.
Speaker 2: I didn't say that. But you have your friend group
Speaker 2: of that's in your community that works for that core,
Speaker 2: if it's people who have kids, married, whatever. But this
Speaker 2: it could go both ways. I don't think Again, it's
Speaker 2: very like for me, it's like you're making it like
Speaker 2: it has to be this way. That's not how it is.
Speaker 4: I'm not saying that it has to be that way.
Speaker 4: I'm saying that it works better, like.
Speaker 2: For just no to anybody. For you.
Speaker 4: The statistics say that look at what we're seeing here.
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't That doesn't mean that this affects me.
Speaker 4: The data, the data is different than what you're like.
Speaker 4: You're saying that you would maybe not this, you don't
Speaker 4: want this, but you would like a man to cry,
Speaker 4: and then a man cries in front of you, and
Speaker 4: you're not wet.
Speaker 2: Like because my ex husband was a piece of shit
Speaker 2: and I didn't want to fucking be with him, so
Speaker 2: he was crying, so I didn't want that didn't make
Speaker 2: me wet. Somebody else who's sharing something, who's intimate thing,
Speaker 2: where it's a passionate thing, that we're on the same
Speaker 2: level that happen, is it something? Yes it has, and
Speaker 2: that it's fine, But that's not the same scenarios. Why
Speaker 2: I said context, context is everything.
Speaker 1: Well, ladies, I love the spirit of debate. Natalia, did
Speaker 1: you want to weigh in on this or can I
Speaker 1: go out in the next question? All right? You brought
Speaker 1: up the term breadwinner. So let's talk money for a second. Here.
Speaker 1: Are you typically the breadwinner in your relationship? No, you're not,
Speaker 1: so you only date guys that are wealthier than you.
Speaker 2: Uh, it's been the same or above from my last relationships.
Speaker 1: Okay, would you ever date a guy that makes way
Speaker 1: less than you?
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be opposed to it. I don't know money.
Speaker 2: Money doesn't if I like an individual, money isn't going
Speaker 2: to thrive like it doesn't make it any more enticing
Speaker 2: of a situation.
Speaker 1: Not at all.
Speaker 2: No, really, do you think that
Speaker 1: Does that