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Speaker 1: Hey, you're home early. Nothing. Why I'm fine, It's just

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been a long day or whatever. Why are you late? No,

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I wasn't looking at the clock. I'm just curious, that's all.

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I mean. You're my roommate. Aren't I allowed to wonder

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about your safety? I'm not acting weird. You really want

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me to get all mushy, don't you. Well, if you

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really want to know my mom, I won't stop bothering

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me about when I'm gonna get married. I know. I

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told her I only graduated college a few years ago. Like,

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give me a minute. Well, She's always like, you know, Elle,

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your goth girl days are behind you soon. You can't

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just wear black forever. And I'm like, yes, I can.

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She just doesn't understand, and she thinks I'm a kid,

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and I'm not. I've been a grown as adult for

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a while now, and anyway, obviously you and I are

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not anything like that. But you're the closest thing I

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have to like, I don't know a boy a boyfriend. Noah,

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don't take it the wrong way. I'm not saying that

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you're my boyfriend. I'm just saying you're the most similar

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to one at this point. Well, you do boyfriend ish things,

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sometimes like you take the garbage out, sometimes you put

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the toilet seed down. Usually when you go grocery shopping,

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you occasionally pick up my favorite drink. Not like it matters.

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I'm just saying you popped into my mind. Not because

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I'm interested in you, that would be so weird, just

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because I'm interested in someone who might possibly be similar

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to you, even if you are a weirdo nor me h,

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like you're not a goth guy. I don't know. Don't

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call me out. It doesn't matter. Besides, I don't even

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know if that's what I want anymore. This is gonna

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sound stupid, but do you think maybe, just for a little,

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just tonight, you could like like pretend to be my boyfriend? Actually,

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never mind, that's the dumbest thing I've ever said. I

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take it back. I don't want to do that, I

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really really, Are you sure? No? I don't like you

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like that. I just I just want someone to cut

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me for a little, That's all it is. Yeah, sure,

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put your stuff down and come sit down with me.

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I know it might seem like a big ask, but

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can you play with my hair? I don't know. I

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always do that and all the stupid rom comes like

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I just put my head in your lap like this,

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and you just yes, exactly, just like that, and I

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just look up at you. Oh, I feel like such

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a mush right now. I do like it, though, Keep

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doing it, please, it feels nice. No, I've actually never

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had a boyfriend do this in the past. I don't

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really think I dated that great of guys in the past.

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I guess I just used to be kind of superficial,

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like I only wanted a super alternative motorcycle riding you know,

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guy that pretends he's James Dean and only goes to

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indie concerts. I know that's really specific, not exactly that,

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but no, actually it was probably exactly that I was shallow.

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I am shallow, I guess now that I'm thinking about

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it out loud, I don't know why I became so

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obsessed with aesthetic, like having the goth esthetic. I don't

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have to date somebody who dresses like I do. I'm

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not blushing. I mean, I'm a little tingly for me

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playing with my hair, but so what. I don't know

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why I am giggling. I mean, I wasn't directly saying

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that I would date you, but I'm not even saying

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that I would date you. I'm just I guess when

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my mom called me and she was describing the quality

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as and attributes that I would look for in a partner,

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I realized that it sounded like she was describing you,

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and maybe in my head I ran away with that

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fantasy in the hour between hanging up with her and

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you getting home. It kind of tickles. No, but don't stop.

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It feels good. Can't you rob my scalp too? Yeah?

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Is that weird? I didn't mean to bombarde you and

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be like, where were you? But sometimes it's hard to

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miss really really good stuff because you're looking for the

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wrong thing. And I feel like if I hadn't had

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that conversation with her, I wouldn't you know. Don't make

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me say it. Don't make me say it. No, don't

76
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stop the head scratches. That's mean. That's a mean approach.

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Don't do that. No, I need scratches, please, yes, please

78
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give me scratchees. Don't make me beg this is embarrassing.

79
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Come on, Okay, that's been it. I was gonna say,

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Maybe I I'm realizing that I didn't need to keep

81
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looking because maybe the person was like my roommate or something.

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Stop it. I'm shy because normally I don't have to

83
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confess how I feel, and I don't like this feeling.

84
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I feel vulnerable and stupid. But I thought if I

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asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend for the night,

86
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then it could be like a trial run. I don't know,

87
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like how do we cuddle or how do you play

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with my hair, for example, which, by the way, you're

89
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doing perfectly. So I guess we need to really put

90
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this to the test though. Well that means we have

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to cuddle. Yeah, it's important, and I want to be

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the little spoon. It's not negotiable. Okay, all right, get

93
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behind me. Hm hmm, Now you smell good. I did

94
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get new perfume. No, it's not called the Demon Blood.

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Do you really think goth girls are all just doom

96
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and gloom all the time. It's called Murder. That's the

97
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name of the perfume. I'm not joking. I got it

98
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off some etsy. Yes, I'm a stereotype. Okay, let's just

99
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I'm a stereotype. Oh God, wrap your arms around me.

100
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It's tighter than that. On pretend you're my boyfriend. Okay,

101
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there we go. Okay, I give this a solid seven

102
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out of ten because you're not squeezing me tight enough.

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Speaker 2: Okay, there, okay, okay, okay, okay, that's ten out of ten.

104
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Oh my gosh, it's like nice.

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Speaker 1: You kind of feel like a weighted blanket. I feel

106
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like one of those little mini hot dogs. What's it

107
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called a pig's and a blanket? Not to compare myself

108
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to delu me, but here we are. I don't know

109
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why I'm so giggly with you. I think this crush

110
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has been building up for a while. Yes, I'm serious,

111
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Like I don't know. I do wonder where you are sometimes,

112
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and you're a catch, so it wouldn't surprise me if

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you were like dating someone, which I'm assuming you're not

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since you're cuddling me right okay, And sometimes like if

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there's a storm or something, I'll be like, I wish

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I could just like crawl into his bed, but I

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don't want to freak you out or anything, so I

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never do. Yes, you can always squeeze tighter. That's good.

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M Well, it's good to know that I would be

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invited if I was afraid, So thank you. You think

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I'm pretty it's really nice to hear you say it.

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Can you say it again? You think I'll be beautiful? Now?

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That is just crazy. I mean, thank you, even though

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I have on so much black eyeliner. Can you deal

125
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with that? Can you deal with me wearing a perfume

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called Murder and wearing black fish nuts on Christmas? Yeah? Really?

127
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In that case, I don't mind your Norman colorful clothes. Oh,

128
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that's okay with me. Besides, I feel like it's so

129
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much more important that we base our relationship off of

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how we feel about each other and not esthetic similar alreaties,

131
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which was my fault. I'm not gonna lie. I could

132
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probably fall asleep like this, which is saying a lot,

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because I'm not usually a cuddly sleeper. But you're so warm,

134
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and I can feel your heart beat on me, and

135
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it just feels nice. Maybe I want more than a

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pretend boyfriend. Maybe I want you to be my real boyfriend. Yeah.

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Mmm