Speaker 1: Hey, you're home early. Nothing. Why I'm fine, It's just
been a long day or whatever. Why are you late? No,
I wasn't looking at the clock. I'm just curious, that's all.
I mean. You're my roommate. Aren't I allowed to wonder
about your safety? I'm not acting weird. You really want
me to get all mushy, don't you. Well, if you
really want to know my mom, I won't stop bothering
me about when I'm gonna get married. I know. I
told her I only graduated college a few years ago. Like,
give me a minute. Well, She's always like, you know, Elle,
your goth girl days are behind you soon. You can't
just wear black forever. And I'm like, yes, I can.
She just doesn't understand, and she thinks I'm a kid,
and I'm not. I've been a grown as adult for
a while now, and anyway, obviously you and I are
not anything like that. But you're the closest thing I
have to like, I don't know a boy a boyfriend. Noah,
don't take it the wrong way. I'm not saying that
you're my boyfriend. I'm just saying you're the most similar
to one at this point. Well, you do boyfriend ish things,
sometimes like you take the garbage out, sometimes you put
the toilet seed down. Usually when you go grocery shopping,
you occasionally pick up my favorite drink. Not like it matters.
I'm just saying you popped into my mind. Not because
I'm interested in you, that would be so weird, just
because I'm interested in someone who might possibly be similar
to you, even if you are a weirdo nor me h,
like you're not a goth guy. I don't know. Don't
call me out. It doesn't matter. Besides, I don't even
know if that's what I want anymore. This is gonna
sound stupid, but do you think maybe, just for a little,
just tonight, you could like like pretend to be my boyfriend? Actually,
never mind, that's the dumbest thing I've ever said. I
take it back. I don't want to do that, I
really really, Are you sure? No? I don't like you
like that. I just I just want someone to cut
me for a little, That's all it is. Yeah, sure,
put your stuff down and come sit down with me.
I know it might seem like a big ask, but
can you play with my hair? I don't know. I
always do that and all the stupid rom comes like
I just put my head in your lap like this,
and you just yes, exactly, just like that, and I
just look up at you. Oh, I feel like such
a mush right now. I do like it, though, Keep
doing it, please, it feels nice. No, I've actually never
had a boyfriend do this in the past. I don't
really think I dated that great of guys in the past.
I guess I just used to be kind of superficial,
like I only wanted a super alternative motorcycle riding you know,
guy that pretends he's James Dean and only goes to
indie concerts. I know that's really specific, not exactly that,
but no, actually it was probably exactly that I was shallow.
I am shallow, I guess now that I'm thinking about
it out loud, I don't know why I became so
obsessed with aesthetic, like having the goth esthetic. I don't
have to date somebody who dresses like I do. I'm
not blushing. I mean, I'm a little tingly for me
playing with my hair, but so what. I don't know
why I am giggling. I mean, I wasn't directly saying
that I would date you, but I'm not even saying
that I would date you. I'm just I guess when
my mom called me and she was describing the quality
as and attributes that I would look for in a partner,
I realized that it sounded like she was describing you,
and maybe in my head I ran away with that
fantasy in the hour between hanging up with her and
you getting home. It kind of tickles. No, but don't stop.
It feels good. Can't you rob my scalp too? Yeah?
Is that weird? I didn't mean to bombarde you and
be like, where were you? But sometimes it's hard to
miss really really good stuff because you're looking for the
wrong thing. And I feel like if I hadn't had
that conversation with her, I wouldn't you know. Don't make
me say it. Don't make me say it. No, don't
stop the head scratches. That's mean. That's a mean approach.
Don't do that. No, I need scratches, please, yes, please
give me scratchees. Don't make me beg this is embarrassing.
Come on, Okay, that's been it. I was gonna say,
Maybe I I'm realizing that I didn't need to keep
looking because maybe the person was like my roommate or something.
Stop it. I'm shy because normally I don't have to
confess how I feel, and I don't like this feeling.
I feel vulnerable and stupid. But I thought if I
asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend for the night,
then it could be like a trial run. I don't know,
like how do we cuddle or how do you play
with my hair, for example, which, by the way, you're
doing perfectly. So I guess we need to really put
this to the test though. Well that means we have
to cuddle. Yeah, it's important, and I want to be
the little spoon. It's not negotiable. Okay, all right, get
behind me. Hm hmm, Now you smell good. I did
get new perfume. No, it's not called the Demon Blood.
Do you really think goth girls are all just doom
and gloom all the time. It's called Murder. That's the
name of the perfume. I'm not joking. I got it
off some etsy. Yes, I'm a stereotype. Okay, let's just
I'm a stereotype. Oh God, wrap your arms around me.
It's tighter than that. On pretend you're my boyfriend. Okay,
there we go. Okay, I give this a solid seven
out of ten because you're not squeezing me tight enough.
Speaker 2: Okay, there, okay, okay, okay, okay, that's ten out of ten.
Oh my gosh, it's like nice.
Speaker 1: You kind of feel like a weighted blanket. I feel
like one of those little mini hot dogs. What's it
called a pig's and a blanket? Not to compare myself
to delu me, but here we are. I don't know
why I'm so giggly with you. I think this crush
has been building up for a while. Yes, I'm serious,
Like I don't know. I do wonder where you are sometimes,
and you're a catch, so it wouldn't surprise me if
you were like dating someone, which I'm assuming you're not
since you're cuddling me right okay, And sometimes like if
there's a storm or something, I'll be like, I wish
I could just like crawl into his bed, but I
don't want to freak you out or anything, so I
never do. Yes, you can always squeeze tighter. That's good.
M Well, it's good to know that I would be
invited if I was afraid, So thank you. You think
I'm pretty it's really nice to hear you say it.
Can you say it again? You think I'll be beautiful? Now?
That is just crazy. I mean, thank you, even though
I have on so much black eyeliner. Can you deal
with that? Can you deal with me wearing a perfume
called Murder and wearing black fish nuts on Christmas? Yeah? Really?
In that case, I don't mind your Norman colorful clothes. Oh,
that's okay with me. Besides, I feel like it's so
much more important that we base our relationship off of
how we feel about each other and not esthetic similar alreaties,
which was my fault. I'm not gonna lie. I could
probably fall asleep like this, which is saying a lot,
because I'm not usually a cuddly sleeper. But you're so warm,
and I can feel your heart beat on me, and
it just feels nice. Maybe I want more than a
pretend boyfriend. Maybe I want you to be my real boyfriend. Yeah.
Mmm