WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.159 --> 00:00:03.439 The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are 2 00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:05.320 solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not 3 00:00:05.400 --> 00:00:08.279 those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates. 4 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:12.000 We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services, 5 00:00:12.039 --> 00:00:15.119 or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability, 6 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:18.079 explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN 7 00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:21.239 Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or comment should 8 00:00:21.239 --> 00:00:22.559 be directed to those show hosts. 9 00:00:22.679 --> 00:00:41.039 Thank you for choosing W four WN Radio. 10 00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:48.479 Welcome to fear Less Fabulous You. I am your host, 11 00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:52.759 Melanie Young, and Happy New Year. We are broadcasting the 12 00:00:52.840 --> 00:00:57.960 show on January first, twenty twenty five, and guess what, 13 00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:02.119 It's my birthday. So this is a pre record because 14 00:01:02.159 --> 00:01:06.040 I'm celebrating my birthday and I'm going to dedicate this 15 00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:09.359 show to a few things. One, what it's like to 16 00:01:09.359 --> 00:01:12.280 be in New Year's baby and special traditions that I 17 00:01:12.359 --> 00:01:16.560 want to share with you. And two resolutions and what 18 00:01:16.599 --> 00:01:19.000 I think about New Year's resolutions and what you may 19 00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:21.239 want to think about as you make them. Because everybody 20 00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:24.599 I think I know makes New Year's resolutions. They promised 21 00:01:24.640 --> 00:01:27.239 to lose weight. They promised to take up a course. 22 00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:30.040 They promised to quit a job or start a business, 23 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:33.959 or take on a side hustle, or spend more time 24 00:01:33.959 --> 00:01:37.280 with family, or spend more time with friends, take more 25 00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:43.040 time for themselves. Basically, we resolve to do better and 26 00:01:43.079 --> 00:01:45.959 be better and have a better life. And I really 27 00:01:46.040 --> 00:01:51.040 hope that twenty twenty five is everything you wanted to be. 28 00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:56.239 So I was born. I won't say what year, but 29 00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:59.920 I was born on January first, and normally on January first, 30 00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:02.799 you want to be the first baby of the year. 31 00:02:02.959 --> 00:02:05.799 But guess what, I was the second baby of the year. 32 00:02:05.920 --> 00:02:09.800 I was born probably fifteen minutes after the first I 33 00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:11.960 don't know, but I was not born as the first 34 00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:14.199 baby of the year. So I missed all the perks. 35 00:02:14.599 --> 00:02:17.560 I miss being a tax deduction. My mother said I 36 00:02:17.639 --> 00:02:19.599 ruined the New Year's party where she had to leave 37 00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:22.039 because she went into labor, and my dad said I 38 00:02:22.159 --> 00:02:27.599 was poorly engineered and badly accounted for. Because they said 39 00:02:27.639 --> 00:02:30.719 that with love, but it kind of throughout my life 40 00:02:30.879 --> 00:02:34.199 meant that I always had a few things that seemed 41 00:02:34.199 --> 00:02:37.439 to be tied back to that New Year's Day delay, 42 00:02:37.639 --> 00:02:40.520 Like I was always running ten to fifteen minutes late 43 00:02:40.520 --> 00:02:43.360 for meetings. I never could get caught up. I always 44 00:02:43.400 --> 00:02:45.800 had to work harder to be number one. It seemed 45 00:02:45.800 --> 00:02:48.840 like I was always number two with everything I did, 46 00:02:48.879 --> 00:02:53.159 whether it was in course work or competitions, I was 47 00:02:53.199 --> 00:02:56.479 always second place but not first. And it really kind 48 00:02:56.479 --> 00:02:59.280 of made me, in one way, want to work harder 49 00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:01.400 to be number one, and then another way say, I 50 00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:04.919 don't really care. I'm happy with number two. And you 51 00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:09.000 know what, it's okay not being number one. It's okay 52 00:03:09.039 --> 00:03:13.840 being number two or three or four or why bother counting? 53 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:18.599 Why bother competing with yourself and your parents' expectations, or 54 00:03:18.639 --> 00:03:23.960 your friends expectations, or your spouse expectations. Why do that? 55 00:03:24.479 --> 00:03:27.639 Why constantly have to live feeling you have to measure 56 00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:32.439 up well? That is how I had to live my 57 00:03:32.520 --> 00:03:35.080 life all my life because my parents expected me to 58 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:38.759 be number one, because I was, you know, in mer mind, 59 00:03:38.919 --> 00:03:42.400 the best there is. My mother always said I only 60 00:03:42.439 --> 00:03:45.039 had one child because she was perfect, and she's everything 61 00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:48.719 we want her to be. That's a lot to live 62 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:53.319 up to. So I all my life was competitive and 63 00:03:53.520 --> 00:03:55.599 went to the most competitive city in the world to 64 00:03:55.800 --> 00:03:58.879 you know, launch a business and you know, really build 65 00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:01.400 a major career New York City, and I felt like 66 00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:05.599 I was always hustling and going and looking for business 67 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:08.240 and trying to be my best and being number one 68 00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:13.120 and on and on. Well, one of the things I 69 00:04:13.159 --> 00:04:15.879 think one of my resolutions is going to be for 70 00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:19.800 twenty twenty five is to stop worrying about measuring up 71 00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:23.040 and being number one. I was born and bred to 72 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:25.519 be number one and be competitive and be the best, 73 00:04:25.560 --> 00:04:28.040 and I was voted most likely to succeed, and I 74 00:04:28.079 --> 00:04:31.040 did all these things. But maybe it's just time to 75 00:04:31.079 --> 00:04:34.720 say I'm good the way I am. I'm okay, just 76 00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:37.720 the way I am, because I'm a lot older now, 77 00:04:37.759 --> 00:04:41.240 and you know, the offers for jobs and opportunities don't 78 00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:44.120 come in as fast. But I'm also at that time 79 00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:46.000 in my life where I'm supposed to be just enjoying 80 00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:49.600 what I have for the rest of my life. That's right. 81 00:04:50.279 --> 00:04:53.040 I've lived more than half my life. You may have too, 82 00:04:53.560 --> 00:04:56.120 so now I just want to enjoy what I have 83 00:04:56.399 --> 00:04:59.519 of the rest of my life and really nothing for granted, 84 00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:03.519 every day, every minute, the little things, not the big 85 00:05:03.879 --> 00:05:08.000 I've made it clear on many broadcasts how things and 86 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:10.560 material things no longer matter to me. I seem to 87 00:05:10.600 --> 00:05:14.439 have a lot left because nobody wants to buy my stuff, 88 00:05:14.759 --> 00:05:17.720 and I'm not ready to donate everything I have. I 89 00:05:17.800 --> 00:05:19.720 just want to live with what I have, within my 90 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:24.600 means and make my life more meaningful. I'll say that 91 00:05:24.720 --> 00:05:27.560 again because I want you to think about that. I 92 00:05:27.639 --> 00:05:32.040 want to live within my means and make my life 93 00:05:32.399 --> 00:05:38.319 more meaningful. I'm not ready to retire. I want to 94 00:05:38.360 --> 00:05:40.680 work and do things, even though I'm typically I guess 95 00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:45.439 statistically of retirement age, and I tell people who are 96 00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:47.519 facing retirement who really are like, I don't know what 97 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:50.160 I'm going to do when I'm retire, and I actually, 98 00:05:50.279 --> 00:05:52.839 you know, because I was researching the concept of retiring, 99 00:05:52.920 --> 00:05:54.560 thinking Wow, what would I do if I said I 100 00:05:54.639 --> 00:05:59.199 was retired. I don't know because I'm always doing and 101 00:05:59.240 --> 00:06:01.879 being I'm doing this show still and I don't have 102 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:03.959 to do the show. It's a labor of love. I 103 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:06.560 like talking. I like talking to people out there who 104 00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:09.000 I hope are listening. I hope I'm making an impact 105 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:13.519 and a difference and inspiring others. I told someone recently 106 00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:16.959 who's one of my social media followers, I have a 107 00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:20.839 lot thank goodness, he said, I you know, I'm starting 108 00:06:20.879 --> 00:06:23.839 a new chapter of my life. For over thirty five 109 00:06:23.879 --> 00:06:26.800 to forty years, I've always been defined by my career 110 00:06:26.920 --> 00:06:31.959 and what I write about. He's a writer and my topic. 111 00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:36.360 And now I have to redefine myself when I retire. 112 00:06:36.399 --> 00:06:38.439 And now I'm retired, and I wrote it back, I said, 113 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:46.120 don't retire, rewire. That's the other thing. So learning to 114 00:06:46.360 --> 00:06:53.279 make my life more meaningful is one of my resolutions. 115 00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:58.720 And the other is, don't think about retiring, think about rewiring. 116 00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:03.160 Maybe it's time to step away for the career you 117 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:05.680 had in the industry you worked in. Maybe it's time 118 00:07:05.839 --> 00:07:09.319 to say, maybe I don't want to stay current with everything, 119 00:07:09.439 --> 00:07:12.199 Maybe I want to just do something else. One of 120 00:07:12.199 --> 00:07:16.439 the people I know who's a friend, maybe she's listening. 121 00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:20.079 She's a chef all her life really terrific. The restaurant 122 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:23.319 industry is a tough industry. You make really no money. 123 00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:28.199 You're constantly battling everything. And most of my friends who 124 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:32.360 are restaurate tours, independent wines and chefs are struggling. She 125 00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:35.720 started doing Joey, she started designing beautiful jewelry. Now she 126 00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:39.399 has customers. She found something to do with her hands 127 00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:42.720 in a new way. She rewired her talents with her 128 00:07:42.800 --> 00:07:46.759 hands and her creativity and went from creating beautiful dishes 129 00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:52.199 to creating beautiful pieces a jewelry. I know a lot 130 00:07:52.240 --> 00:07:54.480 of people who are doing that right now. They have 131 00:07:54.759 --> 00:07:58.399 had this amazing run, successful run with their career, but 132 00:07:58.480 --> 00:08:04.759 maybe the either their career has left them, they have 133 00:08:04.839 --> 00:08:08.079 decided to leave their career and they're not ready to retire, 134 00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:12.079 but they rewire. I think that's what I'm going to do. 135 00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:15.639 I'm going to rewire. I want to do more things 136 00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:18.199 with my hands. Frankly, I've never done anything with my hands. 137 00:08:18.279 --> 00:08:20.759 I've only done things with my mouth like talk and 138 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:26.040 eat and sip and share, and I'm still doing that. 139 00:08:26.680 --> 00:08:28.600 But I think I want to do something with my 140 00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:33.679 body and my hands to be creative in a new way. 141 00:08:34.200 --> 00:08:38.600 I also want to so that's resolution number three, be 142 00:08:38.759 --> 00:08:43.320 creative with my hands and my body in a new way. 143 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:45.960 Resolution number four is one that I'm going to really 144 00:08:45.960 --> 00:08:49.919 try to draw hard on this show. Is that I'm 145 00:08:49.960 --> 00:08:52.840 all about living healthy and having a healthy life and 146 00:08:53.080 --> 00:08:56.679 self care. But it's more than just physical and mental. 147 00:08:56.759 --> 00:09:00.240 I also want people to be financially well I want 148 00:09:00.279 --> 00:09:04.799 to really address financial wellbeing, not making money, but just 149 00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:08.279 living within your mans as I said earlier, and living 150 00:09:08.639 --> 00:09:12.039 with a life that is more meaningful. I don't want 151 00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:15.200 to see my friends and my colleagues worry about money, 152 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:18.039 running out of it, losing their clients. I have so 153 00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:23.279 many friends and colleagues who are struggling to keep their 154 00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:27.720 business going, keep it successful. My heart was broken when 155 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:31.080 one of my good friends is a man. He's a restauranateur. 156 00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:34.879 He is an amazing man. Ionic Benjamin, we love you. 157 00:09:35.039 --> 00:09:38.759 He worked in restaurants for many years. But it was 158 00:09:38.759 --> 00:09:41.639 in a terrible car accident in his car skid it 159 00:09:41.639 --> 00:09:43.759 off a road. I don't know whether there was ice 160 00:09:43.879 --> 00:09:47.519 or fog, but as a result, Yonic Benjamin's car hit 161 00:09:47.600 --> 00:09:50.720 a tree. He was badly entered, and he was left 162 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:54.759 a paraplegic. Now he could have just said I'm done. 163 00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:57.639 I'm just done. I'm going to just live on disability. 164 00:09:57.639 --> 00:10:04.240 But not my Friendonic Benjamin. He was working, you know, 165 00:10:04.279 --> 00:10:07.279 he was working as a somer. He was serving on 166 00:10:07.320 --> 00:10:10.039 the floor. He's working the floor, you know, telling people 167 00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:12.639 how to what to order in terms of wine. So 168 00:10:12.679 --> 00:10:15.720 he had a wine background, so he outfitted his wheelchair 169 00:10:17.320 --> 00:10:20.240 with a table so he could still continue to serve wine. 170 00:10:21.240 --> 00:10:23.559 And a friend of his, you know, nobody would hire him, 171 00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:25.879 he said, And I'm saying this and he said, man, 172 00:10:25.879 --> 00:10:27.879 but I'm sure there's many women out there who faces. 173 00:10:28.039 --> 00:10:32.320 He went on so many job interviews. People didn't know 174 00:10:32.440 --> 00:10:35.039 he was in a wheelchair and he would, you know, 175 00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:37.480 wheel in and he said, the look on people's faces 176 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:40.399 when the interview would start. They didn't know what to do. 177 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:42.960 They had to gather themselves. And of course many people 178 00:10:43.480 --> 00:10:45.600 did not hire him or give him an offer because 179 00:10:45.639 --> 00:10:50.440 he was disabled, which breaks my heart because that's wrong. 180 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:53.039 You should not judge people because they have a disability. 181 00:10:53.320 --> 00:10:56.519 And he was quite able to sell wine and discuss wine. 182 00:10:56.559 --> 00:10:59.039 As a result, a good friend of his in the business, 183 00:10:59.559 --> 00:11:02.559 Jean Luke could Do, who sadly has passed away, asked 184 00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:06.559 Janick to work at his retail shop in New York City, 185 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:11.039 and fortunately the retail shop had wide corridors so Yani 186 00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:15.559 could navigate the aisles. But what Yanik learned is not 187 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:20.759 everywhere is accommodating for people who have disabilities, especially those 188 00:11:20.759 --> 00:11:25.759 in wheelchairs. So he pursued a dream. He rewired and 189 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:32.720 he became involved with an organization called Wheeling Forward to 190 00:11:32.879 --> 00:11:37.320 help advocate for people living with disabilities and to make 191 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:41.000 places more accommodating for them. And through that he met 192 00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:46.279 some friends as he continued to exercise and rebuild what 193 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:48.639 he could of his body so he could do more things. 194 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:52.240 And he has. He's been in marathons, you know, with 195 00:11:52.320 --> 00:11:55.960 his wheelchair. He's traveled the world. He's amazing. So he 196 00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:57.840 was able to get a dear friend to help him 197 00:11:57.879 --> 00:12:03.720 invest in the idea of creating and accessible focused restaurant, 198 00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:08.080 which he called Contento because he'd finally reached a point 199 00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:10.519 where he had accepted what had happened and he was 200 00:12:11.080 --> 00:12:14.720 moving forward, and he opened a restaurant called Contento. It 201 00:12:14.799 --> 00:12:19.360 was in Harlem. It was I think Contento was the 202 00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:22.159 one of the first restaurants in the United States to 203 00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:26.519 really focus on making it all accessible to people with 204 00:12:26.639 --> 00:12:31.600 any kind of disability. It was designed to accommodate people 205 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:35.000 who had walkers and wheelchairs. There was braille on the menu, 206 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:40.879 the counters were low, he offered sign language course to 207 00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:45.679 his servers. He really thought of everything, and then the 208 00:12:45.720 --> 00:12:48.200 food was arrasing. It was really great food. It had 209 00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:53.679 a Peruvian theme. The chef had a Peruvian background. The Wineless, 210 00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:56.559 of course, thank you Janik was terrific and featured many 211 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:02.519 indigenous and verse and people of color. You know. It 212 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:06.080 was a diversity focused wine to accommodate and acknowledge the 213 00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:11.080 diverse world of wine. Contento went on to receive many 214 00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:15.879 accalodes and awards, being named one of the most innovative 215 00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:20.759 restaurants in the country Accalodes and pressed Like you can't imagine. 216 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:25.759 I remember interviewing Yanik and he was on a roll. Literally, 217 00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:29.440 he was on a roll, and he was raising money 218 00:13:30.320 --> 00:13:33.360 for Wheeling Forward with a program called Wine on Wheels, 219 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:38.360 And I mean, everyone loves Yannick, so imagine what it 220 00:13:38.440 --> 00:13:43.679 was like to see his post in December twenty twenty 221 00:13:43.679 --> 00:13:48.840 four that he would be closing Contento on December twenty first, 222 00:13:51.159 --> 00:13:57.360 and the reasons just frankly gutted me. He said that 223 00:13:57.399 --> 00:14:00.639 he'd had to take on extra jobs just to afford 224 00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:03.240 his health insurance. Okay, don't even get me started on 225 00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:06.519 how that guts me. He had to take on extra 226 00:14:06.919 --> 00:14:12.679 jobs to afford his health insurance. He had to hire 227 00:14:12.759 --> 00:14:16.840 a full time security guard at the door at Contento 228 00:14:16.919 --> 00:14:21.759 because there had been so many thefts and there was 229 00:14:21.799 --> 00:14:27.799 a crime problem in his neighborhood. Okay, gout costs were 230 00:14:27.919 --> 00:14:34.639 high and basically he was losing money. And he closed 231 00:14:34.679 --> 00:14:42.519 Contento December twenty first, twenty twenty four. And I wrote 232 00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:46.360 him and said, oh man, you accomplished so much and 233 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:48.639 you will continue to do so be proud of what 234 00:14:48.679 --> 00:14:56.120 you did. Don't look back, look forward, wheel forward, wheel forward. 235 00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:00.600 And I'm telling you the story because you may have 236 00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:04.360 had not the best year in twenty twenty four. Many 237 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:08.000 of us felt twenty twenty four was disappointing. Many of 238 00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:12.000 us wanted to see the first woman president elected, huge 239 00:15:12.039 --> 00:15:17.480 disappointment for those who did. Many of us wanted the 240 00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:21.240 situation in the mid least resolved and hostages were turned home, 241 00:15:21.320 --> 00:15:25.039 and oh brother, it just keeps going on and on. 242 00:15:26.360 --> 00:15:29.759 Many of you would hope that the world would be 243 00:15:29.759 --> 00:15:34.480 a better place for everyone, but there's still school shootings, 244 00:15:34.679 --> 00:15:37.480 even up before Christmas. There was a recent one, and 245 00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:41.320 climate change, and climate change is hitting places you didn't 246 00:15:41.320 --> 00:15:45.120 think climate change would hit, like Asheville, North Carolina, and 247 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:49.679 Hurricane Helene. And you know, one side says the economy's better, 248 00:15:49.799 --> 00:15:52.639 But recently I was getting a facial and talking to 249 00:15:52.679 --> 00:15:54.840 my facialists, and she said, the economy is worse. We're 250 00:15:54.840 --> 00:15:58.919 having more of a struggle. I don't know. I don't know, 251 00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:02.600 but what I do know is we need to wheel forward. 252 00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:07.679 We need to push ourselves forward and not allow ourselves 253 00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:10.840 to live in the land of would have, could have, 254 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:15.519 should have and regret. We have to wheel forward. So 255 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:20.759 if twenty twenty four was not your best year, don't 256 00:16:20.759 --> 00:16:23.720 be angry, don't be sad, don't have regret to say 257 00:16:23.879 --> 00:16:26.159 it wasn't the best year. But I'm going to wheel forward. 258 00:16:27.399 --> 00:16:30.759 I'm going to find more meaning in me and in 259 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:34.639 my life and live more meaningful and live within my means. 260 00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:41.320 I think you have to do that because you want 261 00:16:41.399 --> 00:16:46.039 to stay focused and positive. And whether that's I've I've 262 00:16:46.039 --> 00:16:50.159 decided to retire, I'm done. I've decided to rewire and 263 00:16:50.200 --> 00:16:53.320 do something new, or I decided to sink into where 264 00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:57.240 I am and just work harder and be better at 265 00:16:57.279 --> 00:17:02.279 it and enjoy it. It's your choice. It's your choice 266 00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:07.680 to decide what you want to do. I'm at that point. 267 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:12.200 I actually had a pretty amazing twenty twenty four. Yes, 268 00:17:12.279 --> 00:17:15.039 I wanted Kamala Harris to become president, and I'm pissed, 269 00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:19.400 but I stopping pissed because, you know what, the die 270 00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:21.920 was cast, the vote was cast, and we have a 271 00:17:21.960 --> 00:17:26.119 new you know, an incoming president who many people voted for, 272 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:27.599 and I have to accept that. And I'm not going 273 00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:29.680 to bitch anymore because I'm not going to spend my 274 00:17:29.799 --> 00:17:32.440 life bitching and moaning either. I'm just going to keep 275 00:17:32.839 --> 00:17:36.079 going my merry way and doing my thing and trying 276 00:17:36.079 --> 00:17:39.160 to be living a life of meaning and being meaningful. 277 00:17:40.519 --> 00:17:42.400 I had a pretty good year, though, when I do 278 00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:44.880 reflect back, and I'm going to tell you something interesting. 279 00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:49.599 Since nineteen ninety, oh god, this is a long time ago, 280 00:17:49.960 --> 00:17:54.200 thirty five years ago. I think it's thirty five years ago, 281 00:17:54.279 --> 00:17:58.799 or I can't count. One of my bad elements is math. Anyway, 282 00:17:58.839 --> 00:18:02.519 since nineteen ninety I have celebrated New Year's my birthday 283 00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:06.039 somewhere different every year. I made it my special tradition, 284 00:18:06.279 --> 00:18:09.279 so that every year I would start the new year 285 00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:12.079 on a new foot and a new placed, with a 286 00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:15.839 new perspective. I wheel forward, as I say, and boy 287 00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:19.400 have I done some amazing things. It started. My first 288 00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:27.519 one was Amsterdam. I celebrated in Thailand, I've celebrated in Bli. 289 00:18:28.680 --> 00:18:35.640 I've celebrated in Borneo. I've celebrated in Nepal, the Himalayas. 290 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:46.400 I've celebrated in Brazil, in Chile, Peru, Budapest, Switzerland, on 291 00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:53.000 a plain to Paris, Edinburgh, Scotland. I've traveled the United States. 292 00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:59.839 I've celebrated Charleston and Savannah and Nashville and Palm Beach, 293 00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:08.720 Orlando at SeaWorld and New York. So many places, and 294 00:19:08.839 --> 00:19:13.759 each has been such an important building block of my 295 00:19:13.880 --> 00:19:16.160 life and who I am and how I approached my 296 00:19:16.279 --> 00:19:19.799 birthday and starting a new year and a new chapter 297 00:19:19.920 --> 00:19:24.400 and a new life and a new attitude. And it 298 00:19:24.440 --> 00:19:27.519 was really important after my mother died, when I actually 299 00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:30.440 had no plans because we put all plans on hold 300 00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:34.680 because we were waiting for my mother to she was dying, 301 00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:38.599 and she died just before Christmas and my last show 302 00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:41.519 I talked about that, and we had no New Year's plans, 303 00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:44.039 and I was just like, I don't know what we're 304 00:19:44.039 --> 00:19:46.519 gonna do. Maybe we'll just drive somewhere. Maybe we'll go 305 00:19:46.599 --> 00:19:52.119 up to BlackBerry Farm. It's a beautiful place. We've celebrated 306 00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:57.519 there in Nashville. We didn't know, and then serendipity landed 307 00:19:57.519 --> 00:19:59.480 in my lap and a friend of mine in the 308 00:19:59.519 --> 00:20:03.400 wine businesiness said, I'm organizing a tour de friends, a 309 00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:05.640 buying trip, and we'd love to have you and David 310 00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:08.480 join us to see what it's like. Can you leave 311 00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:13.039 January fifth? And I was like, can I leave January fifth? 312 00:20:13.400 --> 00:20:17.039 I can leave December thirty first, do you mind? I'll 313 00:20:17.079 --> 00:20:20.200 pay for my time leading up to that, he didn't 314 00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:22.200 seem to care. I said, you know, my mom just died. 315 00:20:22.279 --> 00:20:24.359 I gotta get out of Chadanooga. I can't be in 316 00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:30.640 this house. So literally, two days before December thirty first, 317 00:20:30.839 --> 00:20:35.559 twenty twenty two, I booked that flight through his travel 318 00:20:35.559 --> 00:20:39.960 agent to Paris, and we spent New Year's Eve flying 319 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:43.319 to Paris. It's my first time flying to Paris on 320 00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:45.640 a plane, so it was a first. We watched the 321 00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:48.880 movie New Year's Eve on the plane. I cried. I 322 00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:51.720 was still grieving over mother. Be landed in Paris and 323 00:20:51.880 --> 00:20:55.440 the city, the Champs Lyse was littered with trash and 324 00:20:55.599 --> 00:21:00.960 bottles from the night before, and we ate beautiful meal 325 00:21:01.240 --> 00:21:05.480 of oysters and fresh clowns a coquilage. They call it 326 00:21:05.519 --> 00:21:12.839 a charming Parisian bistro and drink really good champagne. And 327 00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:15.559 the way staff brought me my favorite dessert, have LoVa 328 00:21:16.519 --> 00:21:19.200 with a candle, and I get to tell you, it 329 00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:24.119 was really special. It was really special, and I realized 330 00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:28.359 that you can make your party wherever you are. This year, 331 00:21:28.480 --> 00:21:30.920 we're doing it a little differently. For the first time 332 00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:35.000 in all those years, I'm breaking Tradisian. I've always celebrated 333 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:38.279 New Year's in the same place. Twice. The first was 334 00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:43.799 when my hut when I was going through chemotherapy, and 335 00:21:43.880 --> 00:21:46.960 I had planned the trip to go to Asia for 336 00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:49.319 New Years. My husband's never been and I said, we're 337 00:21:49.319 --> 00:21:51.640 gonna go to Asia. We're going to celebrate New Year's 338 00:21:51.640 --> 00:21:54.160 even Cambodia. And I had this, oh, actually, Hong Kong. Sorry, 339 00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:55.720 we have very dear friends in Hong Kong and we 340 00:21:55.720 --> 00:21:57.960 were going to fly over and celebrate New Year's with them. 341 00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:02.160 And my own cologist said, you know, when I realized 342 00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:06.039 after my double mass ectomy and all the diagnostics came 343 00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:10.359 back that I would need chemotherapy, my oncologist, doctor Marie 344 00:22:10.359 --> 00:22:13.400 A Theiadula, said well, we need to start chemotherapy. And 345 00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:16.960 I looked her straight inly. I said, well, here's my schedule. 346 00:22:17.799 --> 00:22:21.279 I'm scheduled to fly to Asia for Christmas and spend 347 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:23.960 New Year's in Hong Kong for my January first birthday, 348 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:29.680 so I can start chemotherapy around January tenth. Will that work? 349 00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:37.799 And this was November and she looked at me. She said, 350 00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:42.119 that's not how cancer works. You will start chemotherapy in 351 00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:45.680 December and you're not going to take the trip. I said, no, 352 00:22:45.799 --> 00:22:48.519 I'm going to take my trip. This is my tradition. Anyway, 353 00:22:48.920 --> 00:22:54.440 she won, I didn't. I ended up spending that birthday 354 00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:56.839 in the Hampton's. A very dear friend just said, here's 355 00:22:56.839 --> 00:22:59.279 the keys to my house. Go out, because at that 356 00:22:59.400 --> 00:23:01.440 point I would in the second round of chemo, when 357 00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:04.640 my hair was starting to fall out. That was the 358 00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:08.440 first time I repeated a New Year's in the Hampton's, 359 00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:11.279 and the second was when my husband turned fifty. I 360 00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:14.039 gave him my birthday. He wanted to go to Switzerland 361 00:23:14.119 --> 00:23:17.839 to see friends very badly, and we both have dear 362 00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:21.519 friends in Switzerland's His was in Zurich, mine was in DeVos, 363 00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:24.039 and I've already spent New Years in DeVos. But I said, 364 00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:27.680 I'm giving you my birthday and we flew over to 365 00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:29.599 Switzerland to be with our friends and it was a 366 00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:33.640 lot of fun. This year, I'm doing it again. I'm 367 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:36.839 repeating in New Year's, but I'm doing it differently. We 368 00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:39.200 did in New Year's once because we were always going 369 00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:41.200 home to see my mom for a long time after 370 00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:45.559 dad died. We did Chattanooga to New Orleans. We did 371 00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:48.839 a drive and spent a New Year's with friends at 372 00:23:48.839 --> 00:23:51.880 their uptown, beautiful uptown home, and she had a dinner 373 00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:54.519 party and we went to Commander's Palace for my birthday 374 00:23:54.599 --> 00:23:57.319 and it was very lovely. But now that we live 375 00:23:57.359 --> 00:23:59.559 in New Orleans, we want to embrace the city and 376 00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:03.839 all seasons and celebrations because for the first time in 377 00:24:03.880 --> 00:24:07.200 a long time, I feel home. I love it because 378 00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:09.880 for many years, whenever I visit and I would tell 379 00:24:09.880 --> 00:24:12.039 my New Orrollenian friends how much I love this city 380 00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:14.799 and I would like to live here one day, they 381 00:24:14.839 --> 00:24:19.200 always said, you're already home. And when I finally got 382 00:24:19.240 --> 00:24:21.960 here and I said I'm home now, they said, welcome home. 383 00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:25.640 And that's a New Orleanian term, welcome home. And I'm 384 00:24:25.720 --> 00:24:29.839 finally home, both physically and emotionally. And mentally, so I 385 00:24:29.880 --> 00:24:32.160 said to my husband David, I don't need to go 386 00:24:32.200 --> 00:24:34.759 to another southern city to celebrate. We were thinking about 387 00:24:34.759 --> 00:24:38.160 going to Savannah. We did his birthday there but at mine. 388 00:24:38.200 --> 00:24:40.359 But I was like, why go to another southern city 389 00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:42.559 when I'm already in the most beautiful city in the 390 00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:45.119 South in my mind and I love it. So we're 391 00:24:45.160 --> 00:24:49.079 going to spend or we're spending New Year's my birthday 392 00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:52.640 because this is airing on my birthday here in New Orleans, celebrating, 393 00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:57.920 and I couldn't be happier because I'm learning that sometimes 394 00:24:57.960 --> 00:25:00.599 there is no place like home. Sometimes you have to 395 00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:05.079 travel the world and experience different things and live life 396 00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:10.519 to love where you are. It doesn't mean I'm going 397 00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:13.400 to necessarily do this every year, but I'm happy to 398 00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:17.519 be in a home where I'm having so much fun 399 00:25:17.559 --> 00:25:21.079 and enjoying life and finding me new meaning and making 400 00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:27.640 my life more meaningful. So you don't need to escape. 401 00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:34.480