Speaker 1: Caloroga Shark Media.
Speaker 2: We'll start today with Chinese Rodney Dingerfield. Hi, I'm Johnny
Mack with your daily comedy news. This is comedian Tommy King.
I stumbled across this on the internet and I just
find this really funny picture. Somebody who looks like their
ancestry is Chinese.
Speaker 3: Hey, what a beautiful crowd. How we doing? How are
we doing? Hey?
Speaker 1: Nijoma naijma. Huh yeah, that's how we say hello. Where
I'm from, you know, from China. And let me tell you,
Oh boy, real rough in China.
Speaker 3: I tell you. You know I'm Chinese.
Speaker 1: You know, so I'm hes uh usually got Chinese parents.
Speaker 3: Huh Oh. Let me tell you about my Chinese parents.
Uh oh they hate me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now, Chinese parents, they hate me. When I was
growing up, we had a one child policy, you know,
so my parents have another kid just so they could
get rid of me.
Speaker 3: Hey there, Homa there.
Speaker 1: Homah, all right, all right, Hey, you know my family,
you know they think I'm ugly. Let me tell you
they think I'm really ugly.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: They make me wear a mask even when I'm not sick. Hey,
all right, tough crowd, tough crowd. Now oma noijmah al right,
all right, huh hey, let me tell you this about
my family.
Speaker 3: You know, they got no boundaries. Uh, they got no boundaries.
You know that I was trying to come for my stuff.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you, you know, tell me what to do and
take all my things, you know, like my career, my kids,
my job.
Speaker 3: Who they think I am Taiwan.
Speaker 2: Oh, very very funny. I had a scare. I was
prepping the show and I saw the words Larry Cable
Guy hospital and I was like, oh no, I hope
he's okay. He is okay. Larry the Cable Guy went
on social media to update fans. Cable Guy had been
hospitalized in Lincoln, Nebraska, late last week. He was later
diagnosed with appendicitis. He was released on Saturday on Facebook,
Cable Guy road getting a lot of messages. So just
to let you know, I'm all good. I had major
stomach pain and it turns out I had a pendicitis.
It was removed after two days in the hospital and
I'm home and recovering. Pretty sore, but vital's good. My
butt looks fantastic and now just taking stool softeners, which
is giving me an urge to go to my mom's
assisted living facility and play bingo with their gals. I
appreciate all the nice notes. I don't know who ratted
me out down there, but this is the most press
I've received since we announced Lightning Racers on Disney Junior
coming in September. Love you all, Glad you're doing okay, Larry,
The Presidents of the United States performed some comedy at
the White House Correspondent's Dinner. He managed to make more
solo Hernandez look like George Corlin. Let's listen.
Speaker 1: The other day, a senator I knew got a text
a great guy from his wife, and she said, when
you get home, I wanna have you immediately.
Speaker 3: Come upstairs and make love to me. And he said,
I can't do both.
Speaker 1: You know what you know? In other words, AH can't
go up the stairs and make love. Does anybody get that?
Speaker 2: Well? I thought that was actually pretty good.
Speaker 1: That was actually the only thing I thought was good
in this whole freaking stupid speech.
Speaker 3: That they wrote. That was the only good one, And
that went down with not exactly great laughter.
Speaker 2: I thank you know.
Speaker 3: In other words, you can't go up the stairs and
make left two Okila, So we're looking for term limits.
Does anybody understand?
Speaker 2: His Variety wrote there was an air of flop sweat
to the evening, like any inept mc Trump began blaming
unnamed joke writers for basic material, light sub friars, club material,
lovingly roasting his allies Nicki Minaj and Barry Weiss falling flat,
but his own delivery seemed oddly nervous. At Just for
Laughs last week, one of the awards went to Gabe Iglesias,
who said, if I can leave you with anything, it's
due comedy because you love it. Don't expect to be paid.
If you're looking to be paid, you're doing it for
the wrong reason. Do it because it makes you feel
good to be on stage in front of people, making
people smile, making people laugh, making people forget, making people
feel good. And if you do that, well, you're gonna
drive a nice car one day. But don't be in
a rush. The Olive Reporter adds that at the ceremonies
there were some jokes about the new version of Just
for Laughs being very diligent about balancing the books. The
previous owners had gotten into some trouble. Lisa Gilroy said,
I got here last night and they're pushing me out
in the morning. She was there as Rising Comedy Star
of the Year. She said, I'm really honored to receive
this award, and I make comedy for the same reason
so many of us in the room make comedy because
we're deeply, deeply mentally ill and nothing will ever fix that.
Maybe this will help. Chris Fleming, receiving the Comedy Performance
of the Year, said I do love it here in Montreal.
It feels like the last place on earth that will
get driverless cars. By one note about Montreal, though, if
I was an acting teacher, I'd say the performance of
French rings false. I don't buy it. There's an awareness
of the audience that feels a lot like when Austin
Butler played Elvis Pause. I hear tepid laughs from the balcony.
Ots go at Kotska. The Breakout Comedian of the Year, well,
she said. I looked up the definition of to break
out dictionary dot Com said, a violent and or forceful
break from a restraining conditioner situation. I didn't know I
had it this bad before this really, as comedians were
seen as the weirdos of the industry, the raccoons of
Hollywood basement dwellers of show business. And these are just
some of the things I've said about us, So imagine
what other things others might be saying, and still we rise.
Otsgo also talked about making history. Is only the second
Asian American females who get an HBO comedy special. Back
in twenty twenty two, she told The Hollywood Reporter, twenty
seven years between us the US being Margaret Show in
nineteen ninety four. That's way too long. And there hasn't
been a third one yet and mine was only four
years ago. She credits her social media presence with more
than five million followers for knocking down barriers. With the Internet.
Stand up comedy was able to boom because people speak
when they find their favorite comedians. That's why I'm able
to tour internationally in many countries that other American comedians
don't perform in or don't even know how to perform in.
It's the clips of my specials that I posted on
my social media sites that went viral, and those are
the ones that are massed over one hundred million views,
far more than people who turn on the actual HBO
special and watch it in its entirety. I was always
going to have to be on the internet, even if
I wanted to talk to my own family, So it
just worked out that way. Gave Iglesias return to the stage.
He introduced Bruce Hill, who used to run JFL programming
and Bruce is a friend of mine. Bruce received the
JFL Legacy Tribute Award. Gabe joked, I'm basically here because
Dave Chappelle said no, Bill Burce said know, Kevin Hart
said know. So in keeping with tradition, here's another Mexican
doing a job nobody else wanted. Gabe thanked Bruce Hills
for giving him a career break when inviting him to
appear at the Montreal Comedy Festival, saying of Bruce, so
many shows, so many years, so many opportunities that you've given,
not only to myself but to other comedians over the years.
You've always been kind, You've always been gracious. I worked
with Bruce when I was at Sirius. We did a
deal with Sirius, and just for laughs, I covered the
festival for serious working with Bruce and his team. His
team back then included Robbie Prau, who I also worked
with Robbie now runs Netflix comedy. Anyway, Bruce was always
kind to me, and then even after I was out
of serious and you know, just a guy doing a
podcast in the basement, Bruce still took care of me
just the same as if you know. That's one of
the things about show business. There's two kinds of people.
There are the people that only deal with you when
you can help them, and then there are decent people
like Bruce Hills. So Bruce, congratulations. Also, Larry the cable guy.
You've heard Larry on this show. Larry doesn't need to
do this show. Larry does this show because we've been
friends for twenty five years. Bruce Hills did get taped
video tributes from Chappelle, Kevin Hart, and some other comedy veterans.
Bruce recalled joining just for laughs at age nineteen. He said,
Jerry Lewis and Sander Bernhard hated each other. That's the
biggest lesson I learned over thirty nine years. Success is
never about one person. It's about you. It's about the comics.
Do you believe the team you built the people around
you to make you better? Couple quick notes Tracy Morgan
if you like his TV show cretch, Well, you're not
getting another season. There was one eight episode season that
was on Paramount Plus. However, he still has that Reggie
Ninked show on NBC if you need more Tracy Morgan. Meanwhile,
Dan Harman is thankful that the decision about the Community
movie and whether or not Chevy Chase should be in
it is not his to make. He told the Obsessed podcast,
It's not up to me, which I think is a
nice thing. I wasn't on season five when the legend
really hit the fan, but there were consequences. Those consequences
have to do with other people feeling safe in a
workplace that I create, and I was never a great
at that in the first place, and thank god, this
is not up to me. Jimmy Kimmel took the summer off,
but Jimmy Kimmel Alive held on to first place this
for the week of July twelfth, However, Jimmy Fallon Who's
Working gaining for the week of July twelfth, Jimmy Kimmel
Alive without Jimmy Kimmel average one point five seven nine
million total viewers and in the eighteen to forty nine
s one hundred and sixty four thousand people. Oh, that
is just not a lot of people. Tonight show one
point four five six million viewers and one hundred and
sixty one thousand adults eighteen to forty nine. Late Nighter
points out. If you do the math, there's only one
hundred and twenty three thousand total viewers separating Kimmel as
Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon, and only three thousand in the
key demo. Fallon gained twenty five percent total viewers and
ten percent among adults eighteen to forty nine. Jimmy k
I'm Alive without Jimmy Kimmel meanwhile fell fourteen percent total
viewers and twenty eight percent in the demo. It was
guest hosted by Ike Baron Holtz and aired four original
episodes with one repeat. The Ike week did worse than
the week before, which was hosted by Tiffany Hattish. I'd
tell Jimmy Kimmel to check the mirror, but he's not
working this summer. Meanwhile, at twelve thirty, Make twelve thirty
Great Again, seth Myers returned from a three week break,
and people were so excited. There were four new original episodes.
The show average nine hundred and twenty seven thousand total
viewers and in the eighteen to forty nine s ninety
eight thousand adults, up forty five percent from the repeats.
Seth Myers beat out Nightline. How about that? Meanwhile on
CBS Byron Allen, who, by the way, I checked out
what's his name? What's his name? Was his name? Just
got a Mark Twain Award. I could edit this all out,
but that's not fun. Bill Maher, that's his name. That guy,
he's got a podcast. I listened to the Byron Allen episode.
I cave away thinking Byron Allen is just like an
awesome guy. And if you like Johnny Carson, listen to
Byron Allen tell some Johnny Carson stories. Just a really,
really enjoyable episode of Bill Morris podcast. Right, how's the
Byron Allen CBS thing? Doing? It? Drew six hundred and
eighty seven thousand total viewers and seventy thousand adults eighteen
to forty nine against seventy thousand. Isn't a lot, but it's,
you know, more than a third of what the other
two are getting. And CBS isn't trying and they're being paid,
So who knows. Now at twelve thirty, they're running the
Byron Allen funny you should ask four hundred ninety six
thousand total viewers and in adults eighteen to forty nine
fifty seven thousand adults. Again, Seth Myers was a show
for some reason. Who's trying is getting ninety eight thousand adults.
I'm not sure CBS is wrong in all this. I mean,
they might be emotionally wrong. We kind of get the
gist of what might have happened with Colbert there, but
just in terms of pure math, they might not be crazy.
Rob's Shooter has a gossip Colum called naughty but Nice.
We use that a lot on the Palace Intrigued podcast,
which I rate four. We talk about the royal family
over on Palace Intrigue. He tends to do a lot
of gossip, and all his stories have not one, not two,
not four, but always three unnamed sources. Sources are never
ever named. So take this with two grains of salt.
The headline Jimmy Kimmel empowered after a huge ratings bump,
ABC begging him to stay. A television insider tells naughty
but Nice Jimmy was fully prepared to retire what his
contract expires in May twenty twenty seven. Now ABC is
practically begging him to reconsider. Another unnamed insider says, for
the first time in years, Jimmy feels completely empowered. He's
no longer negotiating from a position of uncertainty. He's negotiating
from strength. A different source says everyone assumed foul and
would benefit too. It never really happen. Viewers found Kimmel,
not Jimmy. We'll see the insider ads. Jimmy loves reminding
people he was ready to walk away. Now the network
is the one doing the chasing. After more than two decades,
he's finally got whatevery star wants real leverage. I don't
see why he would walk away. He's fifty eight years old.
You gotta do all day. You already have the summer off.
You do four shows a week. You could probably cut
that back a little. You could do guest hosts Monday
or something. You could take a longer winter break. They
can work this out with you. Meanwhile, bill Board has
published the June Box Score Reporter. As we get to
the end of July, here for the tenth time in
fourteen months, Maggot comedian Nate Berghatzy is number one. You
could see how much going to a UFC fight at
the White House has damaged Magga comedian Nate Bergatsy's career.
His ten shows in June grossed nine point nine million
dollars and he sold one hundred and twenty seven thousand tickets.
Your top five comedians are Peter Kay, who grossed two
point one million dollars twenty three thousand, three hundred tickets.
Jim Gaffigan, who if you help him early in his career,
he won't call you back, not like Larry the Cable Guy.
Jim gross two point three million dollars and sold twenty
two hundred tickets across twelve shows. Weird Hew grossed five
million dollars seventeen shows, seventy three seven hundred tickets. I
didn't see anything about the un concert. Let's throw weird
l into Google here real quick and not playing riod
as eating up all the weird al press. Yep, but
I don't see anything about Montreal. I guess I could
add the word Montreal. Here we go from the suburban
dot com weird al Yankovic. Wow's a jfl crowd at
Place Day festivals. No real details there other than it
was good and let's see the Montreal Gazette they talked
to weird Al. They said that his concert was the
highlights of the festival. Weird Al said, I'll tell Jerry
Seinfeld you said that. My weird Awl search also turned
up that weird Al had pitched a cover of Paul
McCartney and Wings Live and Let Die, which would have
been Chicken pot Pie. The LA time said. Paul said
he couldn't endorse the song because Lynda McCartney, who passed
away nineteen ninety eight, would never have supported a song
that celebrates the killing of chickens. The lyrics and I'm
not going to sing them, but I'll try and read
them in cadence here. According to weird aw the lyrics
would have been when we were young, Bernie's Deli was
down the block. He made great liver Pat's head. But
if there's one thing in this world that I like
better than a corn beef on rye, it's chicken pot pie. Now,
weird Awl apparently told ConA at one point Paul didn't
want me to do it because he's strict vegetarian. He
didn't want a parody that condone the consumption of animal flesh.
He said, you could do something else, like tofu pot pie.
Al said no, the courus of my song will be
buck buck buck buck buck buck, and tofuo doesn't make
any noise. It's not going to work. We digress. I
was telling you who the top shows were. Remember it
was Peter Kay and Jim Gaffkin and weird Owl was
number three, number two, Matt Riife grows to five point
four million dollars, fifty five thousand tickets, six shows, and
number one Mega Comedian eight Perghatzy ten shows, one hundred
twenty seven thousand tickets, nine point nine a million dollars.
And that is your comedy news for today. We are
back in the basement in case you don't you feel
like where the cicadas the rains came. This is why
when the weather's nice you do pool side editions, because
the rains come and you wind up in the basement
for three days in a row.
Speaker 3: See tomorrow.