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Speaker 1: Caloroga Shark Media.

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Speaker 2: We'll start today with Chinese Rodney Dingerfield. Hi, I'm Johnny

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Mack with your daily comedy news. This is comedian Tommy King.

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I stumbled across this on the internet and I just

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find this really funny picture. Somebody who looks like their

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ancestry is Chinese.

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Speaker 3: Hey, what a beautiful crowd. How we doing? How are

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we doing? Hey?

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Speaker 1: Nijoma naijma. Huh yeah, that's how we say hello. Where

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I'm from, you know, from China. And let me tell you,

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Oh boy, real rough in China.

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Speaker 3: I tell you. You know I'm Chinese.

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Speaker 1: You know, so I'm hes uh usually got Chinese parents.

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Speaker 3: Huh Oh. Let me tell you about my Chinese parents.

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Uh oh they hate me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, now, Chinese parents, they hate me. When I was

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growing up, we had a one child policy, you know,

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so my parents have another kid just so they could

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get rid of me.

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Speaker 3: Hey there, Homa there.

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Speaker 1: Homah, all right, all right, Hey, you know my family,

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you know they think I'm ugly. Let me tell you

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they think I'm really ugly.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: They make me wear a mask even when I'm not sick. Hey,

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all right, tough crowd, tough crowd. Now oma noijmah al right,

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all right, huh hey, let me tell you this about

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my family.

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Speaker 3: You know, they got no boundaries. Uh, they got no boundaries.

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You know that I was trying to come for my stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you, you know, tell me what to do and

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take all my things, you know, like my career, my kids,

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my job.

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Speaker 3: Who they think I am Taiwan.

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Speaker 2: Oh, very very funny. I had a scare. I was

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prepping the show and I saw the words Larry Cable

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Guy hospital and I was like, oh no, I hope

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he's okay. He is okay. Larry the Cable Guy went

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on social media to update fans. Cable Guy had been

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hospitalized in Lincoln, Nebraska, late last week. He was later

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diagnosed with appendicitis. He was released on Saturday on Facebook,

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Cable Guy road getting a lot of messages. So just

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to let you know, I'm all good. I had major

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stomach pain and it turns out I had a pendicitis.

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It was removed after two days in the hospital and

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I'm home and recovering. Pretty sore, but vital's good. My

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butt looks fantastic and now just taking stool softeners, which

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is giving me an urge to go to my mom's

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assisted living facility and play bingo with their gals. I

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appreciate all the nice notes. I don't know who ratted

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me out down there, but this is the most press

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I've received since we announced Lightning Racers on Disney Junior

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coming in September. Love you all, Glad you're doing okay, Larry,

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The Presidents of the United States performed some comedy at

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the White House Correspondent's Dinner. He managed to make more

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solo Hernandez look like George Corlin. Let's listen.

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Speaker 1: The other day, a senator I knew got a text

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a great guy from his wife, and she said, when

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you get home, I wanna have you immediately.

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Speaker 3: Come upstairs and make love to me. And he said,

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I can't do both.

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Speaker 1: You know what you know? In other words, AH can't

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go up the stairs and make love. Does anybody get that?

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Speaker 2: Well? I thought that was actually pretty good.

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Speaker 1: That was actually the only thing I thought was good

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in this whole freaking stupid speech.

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Speaker 3: That they wrote. That was the only good one, And

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that went down with not exactly great laughter.

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Speaker 2: I thank you know.

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Speaker 3: In other words, you can't go up the stairs and

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make left two Okila, So we're looking for term limits.

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Does anybody understand?

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Speaker 2: His Variety wrote there was an air of flop sweat

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to the evening, like any inept mc Trump began blaming

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unnamed joke writers for basic material, light sub friars, club material,

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lovingly roasting his allies Nicki Minaj and Barry Weiss falling flat,

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but his own delivery seemed oddly nervous. At Just for

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Laughs last week, one of the awards went to Gabe Iglesias,

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who said, if I can leave you with anything, it's

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due comedy because you love it. Don't expect to be paid.

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If you're looking to be paid, you're doing it for

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the wrong reason. Do it because it makes you feel

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good to be on stage in front of people, making

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people smile, making people laugh, making people forget, making people

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feel good. And if you do that, well, you're gonna

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drive a nice car one day. But don't be in

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a rush. The Olive Reporter adds that at the ceremonies

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there were some jokes about the new version of Just

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for Laughs being very diligent about balancing the books. The

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previous owners had gotten into some trouble. Lisa Gilroy said,

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I got here last night and they're pushing me out

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in the morning. She was there as Rising Comedy Star

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of the Year. She said, I'm really honored to receive

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this award, and I make comedy for the same reason

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so many of us in the room make comedy because

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we're deeply, deeply mentally ill and nothing will ever fix that.

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Maybe this will help. Chris Fleming, receiving the Comedy Performance

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of the Year, said I do love it here in Montreal.

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It feels like the last place on earth that will

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get driverless cars. By one note about Montreal, though, if

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I was an acting teacher, I'd say the performance of

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French rings false. I don't buy it. There's an awareness

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of the audience that feels a lot like when Austin

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Butler played Elvis Pause. I hear tepid laughs from the balcony.

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Ots go at Kotska. The Breakout Comedian of the Year, well,

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she said. I looked up the definition of to break

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out dictionary dot Com said, a violent and or forceful

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break from a restraining conditioner situation. I didn't know I

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had it this bad before this really, as comedians were

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seen as the weirdos of the industry, the raccoons of

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Hollywood basement dwellers of show business. And these are just

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some of the things I've said about us, So imagine

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what other things others might be saying, and still we rise.

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Otsgo also talked about making history. Is only the second

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Asian American females who get an HBO comedy special. Back

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in twenty twenty two, she told The Hollywood Reporter, twenty

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seven years between us the US being Margaret Show in

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nineteen ninety four. That's way too long. And there hasn't

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been a third one yet and mine was only four

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years ago. She credits her social media presence with more

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than five million followers for knocking down barriers. With the Internet.

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Stand up comedy was able to boom because people speak

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when they find their favorite comedians. That's why I'm able

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to tour internationally in many countries that other American comedians

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don't perform in or don't even know how to perform in.

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It's the clips of my specials that I posted on

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my social media sites that went viral, and those are

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the ones that are massed over one hundred million views,

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far more than people who turn on the actual HBO

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special and watch it in its entirety. I was always

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going to have to be on the internet, even if

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I wanted to talk to my own family, So it

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just worked out that way. Gave Iglesias return to the stage.

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He introduced Bruce Hill, who used to run JFL programming

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and Bruce is a friend of mine. Bruce received the

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JFL Legacy Tribute Award. Gabe joked, I'm basically here because

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Dave Chappelle said no, Bill Burce said know, Kevin Hart

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said know. So in keeping with tradition, here's another Mexican

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doing a job nobody else wanted. Gabe thanked Bruce Hills

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for giving him a career break when inviting him to

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appear at the Montreal Comedy Festival, saying of Bruce, so

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many shows, so many years, so many opportunities that you've given,

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not only to myself but to other comedians over the years.

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You've always been kind, You've always been gracious. I worked

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with Bruce when I was at Sirius. We did a

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deal with Sirius, and just for laughs, I covered the

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festival for serious working with Bruce and his team. His

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team back then included Robbie Prau, who I also worked

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with Robbie now runs Netflix comedy. Anyway, Bruce was always

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kind to me, and then even after I was out

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of serious and you know, just a guy doing a

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podcast in the basement, Bruce still took care of me

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just the same as if you know. That's one of

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the things about show business. There's two kinds of people.

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There are the people that only deal with you when

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you can help them, and then there are decent people

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like Bruce Hills. So Bruce, congratulations. Also, Larry the cable guy.

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You've heard Larry on this show. Larry doesn't need to

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do this show. Larry does this show because we've been

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friends for twenty five years. Bruce Hills did get taped

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video tributes from Chappelle, Kevin Hart, and some other comedy veterans.

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Bruce recalled joining just for laughs at age nineteen. He said,

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Jerry Lewis and Sander Bernhard hated each other. That's the

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biggest lesson I learned over thirty nine years. Success is

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never about one person. It's about you. It's about the comics.

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Do you believe the team you built the people around

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you to make you better? Couple quick notes Tracy Morgan

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if you like his TV show cretch, Well, you're not

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getting another season. There was one eight episode season that

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was on Paramount Plus. However, he still has that Reggie

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Ninked show on NBC if you need more Tracy Morgan. Meanwhile,

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Dan Harman is thankful that the decision about the Community

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movie and whether or not Chevy Chase should be in

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it is not his to make. He told the Obsessed podcast,

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It's not up to me, which I think is a

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nice thing. I wasn't on season five when the legend

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really hit the fan, but there were consequences. Those consequences

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have to do with other people feeling safe in a

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workplace that I create, and I was never a great

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at that in the first place, and thank god, this

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is not up to me. Jimmy Kimmel took the summer off,

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but Jimmy Kimmel Alive held on to first place this

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for the week of July twelfth, However, Jimmy Fallon Who's

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Working gaining for the week of July twelfth, Jimmy Kimmel

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Alive without Jimmy Kimmel average one point five seven nine

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million total viewers and in the eighteen to forty nine

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s one hundred and sixty four thousand people. Oh, that

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is just not a lot of people. Tonight show one

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point four five six million viewers and one hundred and

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sixty one thousand adults eighteen to forty nine. Late Nighter

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points out. If you do the math, there's only one

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hundred and twenty three thousand total viewers separating Kimmel as

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Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon, and only three thousand in the

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key demo. Fallon gained twenty five percent total viewers and

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ten percent among adults eighteen to forty nine. Jimmy k

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I'm Alive without Jimmy Kimmel meanwhile fell fourteen percent total

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viewers and twenty eight percent in the demo. It was

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guest hosted by Ike Baron Holtz and aired four original

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episodes with one repeat. The Ike week did worse than

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the week before, which was hosted by Tiffany Hattish. I'd

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tell Jimmy Kimmel to check the mirror, but he's not

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working this summer. Meanwhile, at twelve thirty, Make twelve thirty

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Great Again, seth Myers returned from a three week break,

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and people were so excited. There were four new original episodes.

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The show average nine hundred and twenty seven thousand total

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viewers and in the eighteen to forty nine s ninety

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eight thousand adults, up forty five percent from the repeats.

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Seth Myers beat out Nightline. How about that? Meanwhile on

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CBS Byron Allen, who, by the way, I checked out

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what's his name? What's his name? Was his name? Just

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got a Mark Twain Award. I could edit this all out,

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but that's not fun. Bill Maher, that's his name. That guy,

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he's got a podcast. I listened to the Byron Allen episode.

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I cave away thinking Byron Allen is just like an

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awesome guy. And if you like Johnny Carson, listen to

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Byron Allen tell some Johnny Carson stories. Just a really,

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really enjoyable episode of Bill Morris podcast. Right, how's the

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Byron Allen CBS thing? Doing? It? Drew six hundred and

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eighty seven thousand total viewers and seventy thousand adults eighteen

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to forty nine against seventy thousand. Isn't a lot, but it's,

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you know, more than a third of what the other

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two are getting. And CBS isn't trying and they're being paid,

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So who knows. Now at twelve thirty, they're running the

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Byron Allen funny you should ask four hundred ninety six

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thousand total viewers and in adults eighteen to forty nine

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fifty seven thousand adults. Again, Seth Myers was a show

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for some reason. Who's trying is getting ninety eight thousand adults.

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I'm not sure CBS is wrong in all this. I mean,

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they might be emotionally wrong. We kind of get the

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gist of what might have happened with Colbert there, but

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just in terms of pure math, they might not be crazy.

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Rob's Shooter has a gossip Colum called naughty but Nice.

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We use that a lot on the Palace Intrigued podcast,

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which I rate four. We talk about the royal family

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over on Palace Intrigue. He tends to do a lot

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of gossip, and all his stories have not one, not two,

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not four, but always three unnamed sources. Sources are never

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ever named. So take this with two grains of salt.

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The headline Jimmy Kimmel empowered after a huge ratings bump,

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ABC begging him to stay. A television insider tells naughty

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but Nice Jimmy was fully prepared to retire what his

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contract expires in May twenty twenty seven. Now ABC is

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practically begging him to reconsider. Another unnamed insider says, for

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the first time in years, Jimmy feels completely empowered. He's

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no longer negotiating from a position of uncertainty. He's negotiating

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from strength. A different source says everyone assumed foul and

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would benefit too. It never really happen. Viewers found Kimmel,

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not Jimmy. We'll see the insider ads. Jimmy loves reminding

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people he was ready to walk away. Now the network

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is the one doing the chasing. After more than two decades,

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he's finally got whatevery star wants real leverage. I don't

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see why he would walk away. He's fifty eight years old.

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You gotta do all day. You already have the summer off.

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You do four shows a week. You could probably cut

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that back a little. You could do guest hosts Monday

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or something. You could take a longer winter break. They

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can work this out with you. Meanwhile, bill Board has

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published the June Box Score Reporter. As we get to

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the end of July, here for the tenth time in

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fourteen months, Maggot comedian Nate Berghatzy is number one. You

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could see how much going to a UFC fight at

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the White House has damaged Magga comedian Nate Bergatsy's career.

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His ten shows in June grossed nine point nine million

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dollars and he sold one hundred and twenty seven thousand tickets.

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Your top five comedians are Peter Kay, who grossed two

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point one million dollars twenty three thousand, three hundred tickets.

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Jim Gaffigan, who if you help him early in his career,

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he won't call you back, not like Larry the Cable Guy.

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Jim gross two point three million dollars and sold twenty

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two hundred tickets across twelve shows. Weird Hew grossed five

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million dollars seventeen shows, seventy three seven hundred tickets. I

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didn't see anything about the un concert. Let's throw weird

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l into Google here real quick and not playing riod

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as eating up all the weird al press. Yep, but

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I don't see anything about Montreal. I guess I could

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add the word Montreal. Here we go from the suburban

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dot com weird al Yankovic. Wow's a jfl crowd at

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Place Day festivals. No real details there other than it

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was good and let's see the Montreal Gazette they talked

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to weird Al. They said that his concert was the

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highlights of the festival. Weird Al said, I'll tell Jerry

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Seinfeld you said that. My weird Awl search also turned

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up that weird Al had pitched a cover of Paul

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McCartney and Wings Live and Let Die, which would have

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been Chicken pot Pie. The LA time said. Paul said

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he couldn't endorse the song because Lynda McCartney, who passed

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away nineteen ninety eight, would never have supported a song

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that celebrates the killing of chickens. The lyrics and I'm

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not going to sing them, but I'll try and read

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them in cadence here. According to weird aw the lyrics

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would have been when we were young, Bernie's Deli was

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down the block. He made great liver Pat's head. But

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if there's one thing in this world that I like

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better than a corn beef on rye, it's chicken pot pie. Now,

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weird Awl apparently told ConA at one point Paul didn't

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want me to do it because he's strict vegetarian. He

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didn't want a parody that condone the consumption of animal flesh.

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He said, you could do something else, like tofu pot pie.

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Al said no, the courus of my song will be

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buck buck buck buck buck buck, and tofuo doesn't make

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any noise. It's not going to work. We digress. I

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was telling you who the top shows were. Remember it

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was Peter Kay and Jim Gaffkin and weird Owl was

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number three, number two, Matt Riife grows to five point

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four million dollars, fifty five thousand tickets, six shows, and

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number one Mega Comedian eight Perghatzy ten shows, one hundred

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twenty seven thousand tickets, nine point nine a million dollars.

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And that is your comedy news for today. We are

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back in the basement in case you don't you feel

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like where the cicadas the rains came. This is why

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when the weather's nice you do pool side editions, because

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the rains come and you wind up in the basement

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for three days in a row.

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Speaker 3: See tomorrow.