Speaker 1: This is Pet Life Radio.
Speaker 2: Let's talk pets.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Human Animal Connection Show, where we believe
we can communicate with all animals. Join us as we
explore the thirty three principles and healing methods of the
Human Animal Connection. As animal lovers, we know that you
share our commitment to making the world a kinder place
for all creatures. Together, let's embrace the transformative healing power
of the Human Animal Connection. O.
Speaker 2: Everyone, welcome to the Human Animal Connection. My name is
Genie Joseph. I'm the founder, and you're a host of
the Human Animal Connection podcast. And I'm delighted to have
Shell Graves with me. She is both an animal chaplain
and a dog and cat behavioral specialist, and she does
services virtually and in person in the Seattle area. So Shell,
welcome to the show.
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: It's great to have you. It's great to have you. Now,
just tell the folks a little bit in case they
don't know, you and I are both animal chaplains. But
in case people don't know what that means, give us
a little explanation of what an animal chaplain might do.
Speaker 3: Yes, So, an animal chaplain is someone who provides emotional
and spiritual care for people who care deeply about animals
and often for the animals themselves, so that can be
providing cooperative care, emotional support, help at end of life,
help with animals who are grieving.
Speaker 2: The whole range of experience that people and animals who
share their lives go through. Definitely, definitely, Well, let's talk
a little bit about Let's start with how we can
boost the happiness of the animals who share their lives
with us, cats, dogs, or whomever. What are some ideas
that you have that can help our audience to make
sure that they're happy their animals are happier living with them.
Speaker 3: Yes, So, before I became an animal chaplain and worked
as Shell Graves animal consulting, I worked in shelter and
rescue for seven years and we did a lot of
the animals there came from cruelty and neglect situations, so
they were experiencing a lot of fear, stress, anxiety, and frustration.
I learned a lot there and we did a lot
of things there to help reduce their fear, anxiety, and
stress and help them feel more confident, at ease, playful,
and safe. And I realized that while the animals in
our homes. They are fortunate they have us. They still
do experience some stress from just you know, being animals
trying to fit into our human world and our huge routines,
and they do experience stress for things like waiting waiting
for us to get home, waiting for us to be
done with our work. If we're already at home, you know,
they're often in a little bit of a stress pattern
waiting for us to spend time with them. So there
are things that we can do, And I first of all,
I want to say thank you to everyone because you're
already doing the number one thing that can be helpful,
which is your thinking about your animal's happiness. So that
really is, you know, maybe a different approach, not just
thinking about, you know, how the animal can benefit you
in the home, but how you can think about making
their life richer and happier. You're already doing that just
by listening to this podcast. So feel reassured you're doing good.
Speaker 2: Good you're a good person.
Speaker 3: The other thing that you can do that is really
helpful is to know what it looks like when your
dog or cat or the animal living in your home.
What does it look like when they're happy animals are
always talking to us, but they're using their body language.
They have a different way of expressing. They don't speak
our language, but they are always communicating with us. So
really getting to know what it looks like when your
individual a dog and cat animal companion, what it looks
like when they're happy, and then you can also if
you're not sure, you can ask them. So I recommend
doing consent tests. So if you're not sure if your
animal is enjoying something, say you're petting your animal if
it's a new rescue, pause for a few seconds, watch
their reaction and they just tell you how.
Speaker 2: They actualing about that in the interaction.
Speaker 3: Also ask their preferences, you know, do they prefer this
treat or that treat? You can ask them if that's
something that they enjoy and they'll tell you. You know,
which is their favorite food, what is their favorite game.
Just knowing what their favorite things are is another way
to really boost their happiness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's so important. Like you mentioned example, I
also volunteered and shelter for years and years, and it's
really important to pay attention. We talk about in the
human animal connection, the towards and away signal is the
animal giving you a towards meaning yes, I like this,
do more of it, or no, this is making you uncomfortable.
I don't want any more of this. And sometimes it
can be very subtle. It can be a change of eyes.
You know, they're looking away or turning their head away
or moving away. Sometimes it's very obvious, like leaving, you know,
but sometimes it's subtler. And so, as you mentioned, that
pause technique is very powerful to just stop doing what
you're doing, even though you think it might be a
great thing, and it might be many times, it may
or may not be perfect in this moment, yes, So
just giving yourself the chance to pause and get a
sense of yes or no towards her way is the
animal lean back into you and look at you like
why did you stop petting? Or did the animal get
up and go once they felt they had the choice
to do that. So, yeah, that's so important. That's really good.
All right, what's another way that we can The.
Speaker 3: Third thing that I think is really important is to
let your animal have hobbies. So there are so many
things that you know, in our homes we may say
that we don't want them to dig or scratch a
lot of times we find ourselves saying no to our animals.
So one of the best things you can do is
look for ways to say yes. Imagine if you weren't
able to do your favorite things. What if you couldn't
go see movies or do crafting, or play your favorite
sport or watch your favorite TV show? How would you
feel about that? And a lot of times our animals
are in that situation where the things they want to do,
you know, dogs love to forage, cats want to hunt.
They are not given those opportunities. And we do our
animals a disservice when we make life too boring, too easy,
and we don't let them have hobbies so they can
express their natural behaviors. This is what we love about animals.
We love their behavior. We love it when they are playful,
when they are wagging their bodies, doing the things that
in the way that they do them that maybe we don't.
Those are what we love about them. So give them
ways to express those natural dog behaviors and cat behaviors
so that they can enjoy those two.
Speaker 2: So what's an example of how we could mimic some
natural behaviors for dogs? And if they're living with us
in a house or apartment or something that's not there.
It's not nature. What can they do that would mimic that.
Speaker 3: So one of the things that we do, you know,
feeding time is a really important one, and sometimes we
just give them the food in a bowl and so
that it's kind of a boring way to go about it.
Think about it. It's all it's always fast food. Sometimes
you want to have a fine dining approach either. Sometimes
you want to have a picnic, so you can give
them those same meals. And again, you you know your
animal best, so you know what their preferences are. So
don't always take my word for it. You will want
to know what your animal prefers. But you might consider
seeing if they would like some different ways to enjoy
their meals. So those could be food puzzles. You can
offer the the you know, treat scatters. You can offer
the kibbles scattered outside if that's in a safe way
for dogs so that they can hunt and forge, or
use a snuffle mat. You can use lick mats for
wet food. So there's lots of different ways that animals
can enjoy the meal. It doesn't have to be In addition,
it can be the same food that you've been feeding them,
but offer them different ways to enjoy it so they
have to work for it. Give dogs ways to forage,
cats ways to hunt, and some of those can be
pretty simple. So my cat Mary Shelley, she uses the
Tricksy activity feeder, so she has an activity board where
she has to put her little paws in and dig
out the food. Gives her a different way to get that.
Or even some simple things like you can take your
toilet paper rolls that you have and instead of just
tossing those out, you can put a piece of kibble
or a treat inside and fold the ends and give
that to them as a way that they have to
enjoy it. That's good for both dogs and cats.
Speaker 2: That's excellent. So creating some movement, creating some efforts where
they have to use their paws or teeth or something
to get something, so that they're working a little to
get the food, and the stimulation of that mentally and
physically makes that whole experience just a little bit more active,
I guess, as opposed to just put the food down
and they get it, which sometimes, you know, hey, that's
fine too, but sometimes to have that variation I think
is what you're suggesting. Yeah, perfect, perfect, Yeah, So tell
me a little bit. You have a story about Lili
and Tish too rescues. What's the story about them and
the water?
Speaker 3: Yes. Another good thing to do is to think about
the ways that animals experience the world. So when we're
trying to give them more hobbies, think about how they see, smell, taste,
touch and enjoy the world in different ways. And so
Lilian Tish came to me. I went out on their rescue,
their two little dogs. I was on my way to
a rescue, and this goes back to how I became
an animal chaplain. I was working out a sanctuary. We
rescued dogs from dogs, cats, and farmed animals from cruelty
and neglect situations. And many of those animals, especially the
farmed animals, were not really meant to live long, healthy lives.
You know, their role is usually in the food industry.
So rescuing a cow or pig that's going to live
in a full adult life, it came with a lot
of medical issues and a lot of grief and loss
as the animals died, not living to full long lives.
So I was thinking about animal chaplaincy and learning about that,
and I went on this rescue, driving five hours across
the state. We were going to rescue a bunch of
little dogs, and we'd known that they were in some
very rough, difficult conditions for months before we were able
to go out and find only get permission to go
rescue them with the organization. So I thought, it's a
five hour drive. I was driving by myself this little
of the pandemic, so we weren't sitting next to each
other in the car. I had to take my van
all by myself, and I thought I'll listen to audio books,
but I found myself really thinking about these dogs, and
I ended up not listening to anything and just meditating
on these dogs, singing songs to them that we were coming,
uh and and praying that yeah, okay, was it not there?
And I realized that, you know, they didn't know when
we were coming. And it happened a lot of a
lot of times and rescues too, that sometimes we could
do a lot for the animals and they would still
not survive. And other times the animals, even with you know,
even with when we weren't able to get there right away,
they would still make it. So there was something there
was something within those animals or greater than themselves that
was part of them. It's not just about us. The
animals themselves are also part of their own rescue and part.
Speaker 2: Of their own yes, yes, yeah, they have their own destiny.
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: So we went out to find these little dogs, and
the neighbors cheered when we arrived to rescue that. The
vet said that they were in some of the worst
conditions that he'd ever seen, but they they were able
to make it. But what a couple of things that
I remember from that rescue is we arrived there, there
were a bunch of little dogs, but they were completely
silent and no sounds because they were in such distress
and physical stress, and there was no way to give
them any water. So when got there, you know, we
wanted to give them water, but in the situation, they
were in every bowl or plate or thing that we
could find how to crack in it. There was no
way to even give them water if we had wanted to.
So when I give my I ended up taking two
of these little dogs home. We rescued more than thirty
little doll and I ended up bringing two of them
and deciding that these were going to I was going
to give them a forever home. So every morning when
I give them fresh water, I am so grateful to
be able to do that. And I think to myself,
may you be confident, may you be at ease, May
you be playful, May you be safe, And every time
they drink their water, their tails wag back at Dogs
and cats have special taste receptors for fresh water. They
can taste the difference between you know, fresh and tasty water.
It has a taste for them that we can't perceive.
You know, it is water for us, but they have
special taste receptors for water. And I think about that
when I give them fresh water and I watch their
tails wag, how much they enjoy that, And it just
helps remind me that their experience of the life with me,
it's different from mine and in some ways really wonderful.
And just giving them opportunities to taste, smell, touch different
things and watching to see what are the things that
make them happy? And can I give them just a
little bit more of what it is that makes them happy?
Speaker 2: Yeah. To just have that focus and that awareness, that intention,
you know, to not just PLoP something down, but to
think about that that's really a beautiful story. And did
you feel that having done that kind of inner work
in preparation to that rescue, that made a difference in
how those dogspond when you got there. Could you feel
the difference, like say a on a rescue where you
hadn't had that opportunity to really let them know, Hey,
we're coming, we're going to help you.
Speaker 3: You know, Well that was I was going to say
that was the first rescue I went on, but that's
so entirely true. But definitely, I think that preparation was
essential to that work. It is emotionally and spiritually difficult work.
I mean, it's right, it resonates with you, you remember it.
It's not easy to see animals in that condition. I
remember going on a similar rescue about a year later,
and we drove onto the property. It was a different experience,
a different situation, And when we drove onto that property,
the dogs were barking and I felt, Oh, thank goodness,
they're not in as bad of shape. They ca how
how they feel? You know, sometimes we don't when our
animals are communicating with us, when they're barking, when they're whining,
Sometimes we don't want that right if my dog was
barking now, I'd be like, hey, I'm on a podcast,
h right, right, that's their way of communicating. And I
remember when you know, I brought my dog's home. At first,
they were so shut down, they were so scared. They
weren't really doing anything because they weren't feeling good enough
and they weren't confident enough to express. Now they will
bark for ls. You know, they started off behaviors that
I wanted to help work on, maybe give them some alternates.
But also that's what I love about them. I want
them to be playful. I want them to be running,
I want them to be exuberant. You know, it may
be nice sometimes for us to have our animals be
calm and our home. And from a training and behavior perspective,
I always recommend people reward that don't or that behavior.
If your animal is lying quietly beside you, that's a
good time to go and get a treat or a
special reward. And if you want more of that calm behavior,
reward the calm. But so are there ways that we
can give them opportunities to express their behaviors? Yes, always,
we don't really want I don't want my dog to
be just shut down and not made do things. I
want them to express their little behaviors.
Speaker 2: Great, well, we're going to take a short little break.
When we come back, along here some of your methods
for reducing stress and fear and anxiety to have that
more happy, healthy home. We'll be back in just a moment.
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Speaker 1: Hey friends. If you like what you're hearing and want
to learn more, check out doctor Joseph's book The Human
Animal Connection, Deepening Relationships with Animals and ourselves, or visit
the website The Humananimalconnection dot org to book an online consultation.
Thank you for loving animals. Now back to the show.
Speaker 5: Let's Talk pets on Petlifradio dot com.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to the Human Animal Connection. I'm your host,
Genie Joseph, the executive director of the Human Animal Connection,
speaking with Shelle Graves about a wonderful rescue story where
they rescued it look.
Speaker 6: Sounds like thirty dogs. Did you get all thirty of them? Yeah, okay,
wonderful And of course two of them went home with you,
so and I know they came home, you know, with
a fair amount of stress and anxiety and shut down
this and having not been able to express themselves in
any other normal ways to bark it. So what was
the process like for you to get them from that state?
How did you help them release that fear or heal
that fear and stress and anxiety.
Speaker 3: Well, one of the keys is to offer them as
much choice and control as possible. So where it is possible,
let them make decisions. Do they want to approach, do
they not want to approach? So there is the tendency
to want to give them a lot of love and
you know, put them right beside us on our laps.
But they may not be ready for that, so letting
them choose whether they want to come or not and
offering things slowly. So I remember when we first brought
them home, you know, we were having our normal quiet evening.
We turned on a television show and it just turned
out to be too loud and too much. They'd never
been in a home that had a television on, so
we realized, okay, we can't watch a show that has
you know, driving and maybe thunder happening in the background.
We had to turn it onto something quiet like Great
British bakeoff, a big, something very relaxing. You know, now
they've over time, they've experienced good things when they're with
us on the couch, and they can now listen to noises.
They're not as reactive or worried about them. So now
we can watch you know, more action shows. But it
early days that was making a quiet, calm environment and
then not taking them out. They didn't need to go
out on our usual walk. For them, the exciting thing
was maybe just exploring in the front yard, you know, yes,
the front yard, And then over time we could go
down the street a little ways, and then we worked
up to finally being able to go around the block.
But everything was so new to them. You know, you
want to give them. You know that they haven't had
a lot of experience, so you want to give them more,
but really taking it at their pace. Yes, so you know,
for them, they didn't need to go out for an
exciting walk or on an exciting trip. You know, it
was all very exciting enough for them as it was,
right the little things. Yeah, Well, it's so important when
dogs are making little simple choices like even just should
I go in the yard or not? Should I move
over here? Should I go both? You know, closer or further?
Every little choice they make is a sense of a
time and a healthy state, getting them out of the
hopeless and helpless state that they've been in in the
traumatic situation. So I'm a real big believer when I
would take a dog home for the shelters, just for
the day, sometimes just letting them be in the yard
and choose where how far or close they want to
be to me. Do they want to be against the fence,
you know, where they can feel that security. Do they
want to be in the sun or in the shade
or every little choice helps them feel more in their
body and safer and more powerful.
Speaker 2: So it's beautiful to hear you say that. Yeah, how
long have you had them, Lili and Tish?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're having their five year gotcha date is coming
up in July.
Speaker 2: So oh yeay. Wonderful, wonderful. Great, And what are for
some of the cat people out there, what are some
of the things that we can do to help cats
deal with this level of stress.
Speaker 3: It's a very similar that you can offer them safe
places for them, and so for cat it's important that
they have access to not only their food and water
and their litter box, but they also really need vertical
spaces and hiding spaces. Those are essential for cats as well.
So offering them lots of extra places, and if you
have more than one cat, making sure that they have
a choice, just multiples for each cat, but an extra
one so that everyone gets a choice of where their
favorite most comfortable place is going to be. That's really
going to help them.
Speaker 2: That's great, that's great. And tell us about Piper Dog.
How you made a puppuccinos for Hiper Dog.
Speaker 3: So, again, in the shelter environment, dogs feel a lot
of fear, anxiety, stress and frustration, and providing them activities
is a way to help reduce that. So when you
get behaviors like jumping up and jumping on leash, biting
at the leash, those are giving them some more activities
and outlets will help reduce those behaviors. And I definitely
saw that in the sheltered environment. So Piper was a
adolescent pitbull with a lot of energy, and she happened
to be blind as well. So her main thing is
that she was very social. So she loved you and
as soon as she heard your voice, she would turn
around and jump at you. Loved to play tugs, so
she would get malthy and she'd grab whatever it could
be your places or your sleeve. And she was a
large dog, more than sixty pounds she is, so it
could be very alarming for the person that was working
with her. So we did a lot of things to
help her be more calm and relax over time. But
some of those were things like giving her other opportunities
to do fun things. So the pappuccinos, you can make
homemade pappaccinos. You can use some coconut cream and offer
that in a little dixie cup. And so she would
go on car rides, good practice for her, and we
taught her to walk on leash. But the car rides
were also helpful because she was there for some amount
of time and a lot of the dogs were going
to be eventually going home with someone and it would
be in a car. Really good practice at this. Giving
them something nice like the pappaccino helps them make a
good association between their place that they're going and the
car ride. So not only is that a fun activity
for the dog, but it also helps make great association.
So I recommend it can be a good training thing
as well. So I recommend when you're taking your dog
to the vet sometimes you can just drive to the
vet and you can give them a puppuccino, your homemade puppeccino,
and then drive home, so that the dog, you know,
maybe if you've taken your dog to the coffee stand,
they get excited when they go there because they know
that that might predict a treat. The thing with going
to the vet is very often we've created a really
strong one on one association that something a little bit
uncomfortable or uncertain happens at the vet. So that's why
dogs tend to be afraid when they go there. But
you can so you can change that up you can. Yeah,
it's a positive association by making them go to the
vet and have something happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So repairing something that they're not so sure about
with something that they feel very good about and building
the connection between them too. That's great, excellent. So what
are some of the benefits of meditating with your dog?
I know I do that, but tell me what you've
experienced with that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So you know, the animals in our homes are there.
The bodies can be small, but they take up such
a huge place in our hearts and our lives, and
we are going to their time that we have with
them will always be too short. So just spending some
time with your animal companion, with your dog and your cat,
just setting it aside, you set aside your phone, set
aside your computer show, and just spend time focusing on
that animal and your connection with them. I call it.
You can call it meditation. I call it doting sometimes
just spending time focused on them, just really feeling that connection.
It helps them be more confident, at ease, playful and safe.
And you'll know, my hope is that at the end
of their life, when you're grieving that loss, you know
it's still going to be difficult, but I'd like you
to take that seed with you and just remember that
you did spend that time with them, building that connection,
that you took that time. You're taking time today to
think about what would make them more happy, and then
you spend that time meditating with your dog or cat,
doting on them, just giving them love and really being
present and intentional about it. You can carry that with
you so at the end of their life you can
remember that you did do that with them.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You gave it your best energy and your best
focus and your best love and your best time and
that will continue. You know that can continue?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And are you somebody that believes that animals have souls,
that they have consciousness that continues after they pass visitally
or what are your thoughts on that.
Speaker 3: I believe that we all we are all connected, and
I believe that well we will all stay connected and
that the energy and spirit is there. So whatever, whatever
you believe, I think it's important to make that connection
in our lives today and we can have that to
hold on to.
Speaker 2: Excellent. Okay, So she'll help. Can people get a hold
of you. I know you also do consultations. You're in Seattle,
but you do consultations online Shell Gravesanimal dot com. Is
that the best way for people to reach you.
Speaker 3: Yes, Shellgravesanimal dot com. And if you go on my
website and contact to have a contact form and you
let me know that you heard this podcast, I will
send you ten ten fun activities for dogs, ten fun
activities for cats so that you can continue to work
on having a happier life with your dogs and cats.
Speaker 2: That's great. Yeah, So just putting our intention on making
sure that they're happy and playful can improve the lives
of us and them and make the world a better place.
And when I'm coming from a training and behavior standpoint
as well, one of the first things that I will
usually ask people is what kinds of activities are they doing?
Are they giving opportunities for their dogs and cats to
be dogs and cats? Sometimes those can solve quite a
few of the behavioral issues. Look for ways that you
can say yes to your dogs and cats and let
them do some of those activities in ways that are
going to work for everybody.
Speaker 3: Yes, so makes me cratching, barking, meowing at appropriate times,
It will resolve a lot of the troubling behaviors. And
everyone will have a happier life together.
Speaker 2: Oh that's great. I love that. I love that.
Speaker 6: Well, here's to the happiness, happiness with people and your animals,
the animals who share your lives. Shell Graves, thank you
so much for being a guest on The Human Animal Connection.
Speaker 2: We'll see you next time. By now.
Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to The Human Animal Connection Show.
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