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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Mind Over Murder podcast.

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Speaker 2: My name is Bill Thomas. I'm a writer, consulting, producer,

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and now podcaster. I am now trying to use my

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experience as the brother of a murder victim to help

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other victims of violent crime. I'm working on a book

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on the unsolved Colonial Parkway murders, and I'm the co

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administrator of the Colonial Parkway Murders Facebook group together with

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Kristin Dilly.

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Speaker 3: My name is Kristin Dilly.

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Speaker 4: I'm a writer, a researcher, a teacher, and a victim's advocate,

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as well as the social media manager and co administrator

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for the Colonial Parkway Murders Facebook page with my partner

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in crime.

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Speaker 3: Bill Thomas. Welcome to Mind Over Murder. I'm Kristin Dilly.

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Speaker 2: And I'm Bill Thomas, and we're honored.

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Speaker 3: To be joined today by Reginald Reid, author of to

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Day My Mother Never Came Home, about the murder of

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his mother Selonio read Reggie, thank you so much for

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joining us today.

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Speaker 5: Thank you, Bill and I really appreciate the opportunity.

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Speaker 3: We are a victim friendly podcast, and so we're always

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interested in learning the stories of people who have been

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touched by violent crime and who have survived it as well,

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and your amazing, excellent memoir is an example of both

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of those things. So thank you very much for sharing

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with us today, and please accept our condolences on your loss.

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Speaker 2: Thank you tell us a little bit about your mother, Solonia.

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You were a young boy when you lost her. What

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are your memories of her?

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Speaker 5: I wish I obviously had more memories, but from what

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I do remember, I remember she was a kind hearted soul.

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I was her world. I remember that, and just from

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other people sharing their thoughts and memories involving our relationship,

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everything else revolved around me. I was her pride and joy,

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which makes me smile and cry at the same time,

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because I wish I could have experienced that longer in life.

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One I did take away, and one thing that always

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stick close to me, is that she was a phenomenal baker.

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She loved to bake. There's cake, pies, cookies, things of

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that nature, and that's one of other things I carried on,

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like I love to bake. Now, I do want to

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preface that I'm not like your modern day Betty Crocker

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or anything like that. My baking skills are pretty much

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read the directions on back of a box. But I

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like to think I'm doing something.

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Speaker 2: Special, so you probably aren't.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, just but no, she was more and more I

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really learned from others of how she was. But those

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are some of my first hand experience and memories of

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my mother are growing up.

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Speaker 3: Can you tell us a little bit about her murder,

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the investigation, and when it ultimately turned into a cold

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case for your family.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. So back in nineteen eighty seven, I was six

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years old at and it was the worst day of

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my life, just waking up and my mother wasn't there.

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The title my book The Day my Mother Never came home.

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It was a night I'll never forget for obvious reasons.

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I remember vaguely. My dad and I we were at

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the house at home playing video games late that Saturday night,

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and my mother stepped out for a minute. She went

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out with friends from my recollection, and the next morning

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I woke up to chaos. And when I say chaos,

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family law enforcement, it's a lot of chaos. And at six,

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you really don't know to the extent of what happened, right,

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I didn't really know that, Hey, my mother was butchered

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and really murdered, but I knew something wasn't right and

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my mom wasn't there. Fast forward. I later took on

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a liberty as I began to get older, early teenage years,

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to do my own due diligence and research what actually happened.

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I heard I guess previously throughout my kildhood of what happened,

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but I wanted to see for myself. I did my

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own research and actually found this resource called microfilm. I'm

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sure you're familiar. I am at the local library and

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just research that time period, and one day I remember

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just boom, there was I forget the title verbatim, but

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it was like local Hammond woman found murdered, blah blah blah,

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and I was like, that's my mom. It was such

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not saying that one murder or one death is worse

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and better than the other, but it was such a

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gruesome act. I felt like I was reading about someone else.

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Speaker 2: How old would you say you were when you found

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the microfilm? And it's funny, we both laughed because we

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both researched a number of things for school as well

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as for the mind of a murder podcast, so we

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tell people our listeners all the time and I know

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Kristen says this to her students as well, that not

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everything is on the World Wide Web. There's still a

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ton of newspaper and other content, older magazines that are

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only on microfef that have never been converted. But how

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old were you Readie when you were first looking at

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the microfilm?

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Speaker 5: I think I was around like thirteen fourteen.

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Speaker 2: Did the librarians know what you were looking for?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 2: Oh they didn't. Like sometimes I would as a kid,

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I would go to the librarian and ask, But you

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didn't do that in this example.

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Speaker 5: No. And it it's funny you asked that question because

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it gives you idea. How I was raised by my father.

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Father was a marine, and after that tragedy struck our household,

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it was like we were put in survival mode, if

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you will. With my father's background as a marine and

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his structure that he put in place, I pretty much

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was raised to survive, not live. I know that sounds

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probably not a bad thing, but as a kid, you

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want to live like I have a five year old

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and a seven month old, and I'm constantly daily like

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trying to balance, not trying to be the strict parent

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at all times, just because my wife gets on me

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because of that. But it kind of ties into how

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I was raised, right like, I was raised to survive

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and know how to navigate through life as an individual,

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which was a huge benefit, don't get me wrong, but

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I missed out on so much as a kid. So

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to your question, Bill, I'm pretty out saying this like

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bragging or anything. But I was self sufficient and independent

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early on in life because I had to be. It

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was just my dad and I And we all know

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how mothers come in and they're the comfort, They're the comforter.

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There's nothing against us dads out there. Shout out to

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all the dads and the fathers, but it's the mom

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who provides that extra level of tea at ten toleven care,

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and that was taken away from.

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Speaker 3: Me, absolutely devastating. You articulated so beautifully in the memoir

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about what you have lost, what you wish you had

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been able to continue to have with your mother, that

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sense of love and care. Not to say that your

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father didn't love you, but you definitely articulate how particular

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it is to have the love of a mother in

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your life and how traumatic it is when it's taken away.

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One of the things that I was particularly struck by

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when I was reading was the fact that during the

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investigation into your mother's murder, local law enforcement actually hold

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you aside as a six year old and interviewed you.

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Looking back on that, now, how do you feel about

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the fact that investigators interviewed this poor six year old

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boy who'd had a massive traumatic loss. What could they

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have been thinking? Did they ever share the rationale behind that?

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Speaker 5: No? No, I never got the answer to why and

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what they were hoping to achieve by doing so. But

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as I referenced in the book, when I first was

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made aware of that video again, it was a moment

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I'm like, is this me like? Looking at a six

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year old being interviewed a month later after this mother

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been murdered, And I'm looking I'm like, but that is

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like shot and in disbelief at the same time, that's

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actually me in that video, I think back in I

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don't know, I don't know what they were hoping to

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get from that, but I pretty much as a six

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year old, I pretty much held my own throughout that interview.

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Speaker 3: It sounded like it for sure.

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Speaker 5: Towards but towards the end, I got real emotional when

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they started. Their goal is to get you comfortable and

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then leading to the tough questions. And when they start

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asking about who's currently at my house, who lives there,

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I remember acknowledging the fact that it was myself. My

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dad had a golden Labrador at that time. His name

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was Duke. But then after I name those three, I paused,

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looked at my dad and you could tell I was confused,

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and my dad jumped in. He was like, your mom's

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still there, She's still with us in spirit to that point,

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and they continued on with the interview, and before you

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know it, I just broke down in tears and they

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ended the interview.

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Speaker 2: In that interview, they're not also questioning your father at

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that point, are they? No, this was just Reggie.

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Speaker 5: This was just me, And they tried to get me along.

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That was the initial goal, but it was impossible to

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get me away from my dad. Like they tried saying

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that he'll be in another room, but I was like,

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I'm not going with my dad president, So they just

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proceeded with the interview with him in the room as well.

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Speaker 3: Your father didn't come until Lawn for Smith's Radar in

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a meaningful way for your mother's murder until many years later. Obviously,

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we want people to buy the book and read it,

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but without giving too much away, can you tell us

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a little bit about why they ultimately believed him to

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be involved and why he was ultimately arrested and tried

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for her murder.

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Speaker 5: That question, it still remains as the million dollar question

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because I never received the definitive answer question why it

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took so long? But based on what I did receive

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is that I do want to backtrack it. My dad

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wasn't a quiet guy. He wasn't someone that was quote

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unquote weird or you stayed inside all the time. He

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was heavily involved in politics. He ran for mayor of

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the city of ham and, as we all know, from

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a political standpoint, that's when everything comes.

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Speaker 2: Out right, everything yeah, good and bad.

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Speaker 5: Good, bad, ugly pretty everything. We ran from here. He

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didn't win, but he ran nothing ever, never ever, nothing

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ever surfaced during that time and just fast forward. I

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guess with these cold cases, they reevaluate them every so often,

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or if a new lead hits or whatever. And I

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know a local columnist out of hamm and he wrote

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a couple articles, and one of them that kind of

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peaked the public's interests. Again, was whatever happened to Salonia read?

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I don't know if that drew any It just drew

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media attention. I don't think it drew any additional details

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or evidence. But it all resurfaced and started with a

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cigarette butt that was found back then in eighty seven

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in the eighties, DNA really say, really, but wasn't prevalent, right,

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you couldn't test it and have the resources, and it's cigarette,

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But that was found that the crime was later tested

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and it hit a co defendant, another suspect who was

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involved in the case. He claimed one of his as

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I quote, he claimed once they spoke with him and

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questioned him, that he was the key to it. All

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started there and resurfaced from that point. The rest she

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just got to find out in the book.

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Speaker 3: Sure absolutely.

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Speaker 2: How old were you, Reagie, when this possibility that this

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other man and perhaps your father might be involved in

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your mother's murder. How old would you have been when

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this question starts to come up?

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Speaker 5: Let me see, because I moved to Texas in twenty ten,

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so I was thirty at the time, and two years

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later we're talking thirty two is when I initially received.

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I received a knock at my door in Texas from

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a Texas ranger after they at work, and I was scared.

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I was like, what did I do or didn't do?

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Pay my taxes? I was thinking about everything and he

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was there basically to question me about the murder of

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my mother. He came. I polite to let him in,

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and very nice guy, and he showed me a couple

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of pictures and his shirt showed me a timeline that

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involved insurance policies and how it look those gaps that

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led up to my mother's murder. So thirty two was

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when this initially reentry its way back into my life.

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But thirty nine it's when I got the call stating

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that my father was indicted along with a co defendant,

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for second degree murder and conspiracy.

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Speaker 3: My god, the memoir is about the loss of your mother,

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but it is also very much about the loss of

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your father too. What made you decide to take the

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enormous step of writing all of this down because this

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is rough emotional territory. It's beautifully written, but boy, it's

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hard to read, and I can't imagine how hard that

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must have been for you to write. What was the

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impetus for you to do this kind of work.

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Speaker 5: Thanks for the question. It was when that news broke,

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if you could imagine nowadays with social media, it took

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off like.

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Speaker 2: Wildfire, right, It's a very different world.

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Speaker 5: It was like, oh, they just took off locally, hit

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a couple national outlets, and at that point I was like, wow,

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I was stuck in like a time warp. It felt

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like I was reliving this again, but as an adult.

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And it was just so much negativity on Facebook. People

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in the neighborhood claiming, Oh, they knew he did it,

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they knew he was strange and he just got people.

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I grew up with him. It's a small town, and

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I'm thinking like, wow, like you're saying that now, but

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you're the same person that was speak or being our face.

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But I'm like, that's weird that you always felt like this.

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I could remember blocking a few people because they're sharing

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the articles. I'm like, that's not right. You claim you're

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my friend, but you're sharing negative news. So anyway, at

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that point, I stood, I took a deep breath and

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I say that lightly. It was several deep breaths, and

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I say, Okay, I made it this far. In life.

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How can I continue and combat this negativity? And I

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remember telling my wife, I said, but I think I'm

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gonna write a book, and she was like about what.

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I was like, Joe, yeah, write a book. I was

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like about me, about my life, and she was like, okay.

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She took it as I was just talking just out

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of the side of my head at that point. But

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at that point, I mentioned in my memoir, I wasn't

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a big reader growing up. I actually hated to read.

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So it's interesting that I actually wrote a book at

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that point. I felt that was the only way I

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could tell my story, my side and the truth of

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what I actually experienced and the truth to as I

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know it. And throughout that process it was very cathartic.

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It was a process because that's one thing I just

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acknowledged and learned about trauma is that a lot of people,

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I think, they allow trauma to get the best of

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them without taking a step back and really acknowledging the trauma,

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getting to know your trauma and understand that, hey, this

282
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happened to you, but it's okay. A lot of people

283
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just try to ignore. It's like an angry gorilla in

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a cage. He's angry, he's beating his chest because he

285
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wants to get out, and once you let him wrong,

286
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free in his habitat, he's good. So that's really what

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prompted me to write and share my story and in

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the hopes to help others, because you know, I've seen

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and read about people going off the deep end for

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less stuff that happens in their life, and I just

291
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want to encourage people that, hey, I'm not raising my

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hand bragging like oh I had to. It's people that's

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dealing with worse stuff in their life, and it's a

294
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way to overcome any trauma that you're faced with.

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Speaker 2: So what's the message then that you were looking to

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send and to survivors of trauma someone reads the book,

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what would you like their take away to be.

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Speaker 5: I'll keep it simple. There's life after trauma. I live

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by that and I have first hand experience with that

300
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because a lot of people see trauma it's a permanent

301
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closed doors shutting your face. You can't go through it,

302
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you can't go around it, can't get to the other side.

303
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It's just blocking you from so much. And you know what,

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that may be true, but it's only temporarily. It's not permanently,

305
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and I just learned that through living life with trauma

306
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and understanding how to navigate it. Another big component of

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that is forgiveness. I've written an article that was published

308
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in Newsweek about maintaining continues to maintain my relationship with

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my father despite the outcome of all this, and I

310
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got some negative press on that, negative comments from strangers,

311
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and I stand by my decision because at the end

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of the day, that's what gives me a lot of peace,

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is that I'm not holding in all that anger and animosity,

314
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because I think when people deal with trauma where and

315
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,799
it's inflicted by others, that anger and animosity can cause

316
00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:16,039
you to do other things or just hate life.

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Speaker 3: You write really movingly about the process of healing from trauma,

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and you talk about being a compassionate witness for others

319
00:18:24,759 --> 00:18:27,640
who have lived it and survived it and have gone

320
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,319
on to thrive like yourself in spite of it. How

321
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,160
long did it take you to reach the point where

322
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,279
you could do that work and also write the book.

323
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As both both Bill and I have undergone traumas of

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our own, I don't think either of us are at

325
00:18:42,759 --> 00:18:44,640
the point where we could do the kind of work

326
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that you have done. How long did it take you

327
00:18:47,039 --> 00:18:48,079
to get to this space?

328
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 5: I would say a very long time. I don't have

329
00:18:52,519 --> 00:18:57,039
exact time. Again, this started early on in life, age

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00:18:57,039 --> 00:19:00,559
of six. That's when it was like game on to

331
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,440
the rest of my life. Like I mentioned, it was

332
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a process of learning, and really my personality was to

333
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,279
want to know more because I felt that the less

334
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I knew, the more hurtful or the more damaging it

335
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:19,279
could be for me. It would then be all a wonder.

336
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,559
So I just continue to dig deeper, try to uncover more.

337
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And as I reiterate, as I got older, things continue

338
00:19:26,319 --> 00:19:30,880
to uncover and reveal themselves. Even now I'm like, people, actually,

339
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,960
do you have another book in you? And I'm like,

340
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I don't know. I'm dealing with some other personal health issues.

341
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At this point, I didn't uncovered so much since this

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00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,920
new news, this new trauma broke. I think I really

343
00:19:44,279 --> 00:19:47,559
got the courage when it's all resurfaced, because at that

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point I remember having a conversation with my wife about

345
00:19:51,079 --> 00:19:53,599
do I really know what happened to my mom? And

346
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do I really want to find out more? And it

347
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was a point I was like, it's not that I

348
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,480
forgot about her or any but I was like, don't wait,

349
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:05,480
don't wake a wild bare or angry bear. Right So

350
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:09,359
when everything resurfaced, I say, I'm gonna take this opportunity

351
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and just turn it into a positive the best way

352
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I can, because I'm all about positivity. And I was like,

353
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,799
there's no way I was gonna let this. I've came

354
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so far in life personally, professionally, it's no way I'm

355
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gonna let this just overshadow what I have accomplished. So

356
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that was my end goal to just take this and

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turn it into a positive and share my story and

358
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the hopes of helping others as well.

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Speaker 2: You're listening to Mind over Murder. We'll be right back

360
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:45,200
after this word from our sponsors. We're back here at

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00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,640
mindover Murder. Before we get back to the podcast, just

362
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,160
wanted to remind you that we have a go fundme

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effort going on right now. This campaign is designed to

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help us raise funds to help promote Mind over Murder

365
00:20:58,839 --> 00:21:03,759
and specifically to push the Colonial Parkway murders investigation forward.

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00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,519
We'd love it if you could support us in any

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way that you can. Any donation from five dollars to

368
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whatever you can afford is very much appreciated and will

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be incredibly helpful. The link is in the show notes

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00:21:16,599 --> 00:21:20,279
and in our social media pages. As always, thanks for

371
00:21:20,319 --> 00:21:25,920
your support. Now back to mind over Murder. When you

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00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,000
said that you were looking to develop as much of

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an understanding of what had happened, Regie, does that mean

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00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,039
you're actually going back and looking at things that are

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really difficult, even the circumstances of your mother's death.

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Speaker 5: Yes. Again, like close friends of mine that no, I

377
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,519
researched it in the complete depths of it. They think

378
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I'm crazy because there's no way I could know or

379
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see or what want to know and see those things.

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But for me, it was the opposite. It was a

381
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:03,000
sort of closure. Right. You hear that your mother was murdered,

382
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,720
stabbed over a dozen times with an object similar to

383
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:10,480
an ice pick, left with an umbrella in between the legs.

384
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You hear this stuff, you read it, and you're like, seriously.

385
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For me, it was like hearing it seeing it and

386
00:22:19,559 --> 00:22:23,319
closed that gap. It just gave me a sense of

387
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:27,720
this weird closure. It also gave me I wouldn't say

388
00:22:27,839 --> 00:22:31,519
it did give me more sadness, obviously, because I'm human. Right,

389
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,480
But it just it made me just really understand and

390
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:40,200
more man, what I missed out on in life, that

391
00:22:40,279 --> 00:22:44,079
she was physically taken away from me. Not saying dying

392
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:49,440
from cancer or accident they are horrible losses, but it's

393
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,839
like she was physically purposely taken away from me.

394
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,559
Speaker 3: Did the experience of losing a parent at such a

395
00:22:57,599 --> 00:23:01,000
young age change how you parent your own children?

396
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 2: Yes?

397
00:23:02,519 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 5: It did, or it does because I see and every

398
00:23:06,759 --> 00:23:10,000
day in day out, our son is a mama's boy,

399
00:23:10,559 --> 00:23:14,119
and I'm chopped liver unless he wants to say the

400
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:23,279
PlayStation or something, and it just it's a constant reminder. Man,

401
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,119
I didn't have this. I had it at like this age, right,

402
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,920
but like growing up and just seeing how others interact

403
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,720
with their moms, and I was like, man, such a

404
00:23:33,759 --> 00:23:36,839
beautiful thing. But to your question, yes, it makes me

405
00:23:37,039 --> 00:23:42,240
more conscious and aware of how I discipline our kid.

406
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,000
A part of my book is I Love you. That's

407
00:23:46,039 --> 00:23:49,400
something that sticks with me daily because that's what my

408
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,920
dad told me, I love you. It's a difference, that

409
00:23:53,079 --> 00:23:56,839
small tweak in verbiage versus saying I.

410
00:23:56,759 --> 00:23:59,319
Speaker 2: Love you affirmative.

411
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 5: Something so simple, but it has a significant impact. On

412
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,119
how you feel in that relationship with the other party.

413
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:09,680
And I make sure that I tell my son and

414
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,440
our daughter that I love you at the random times

415
00:24:13,839 --> 00:24:17,440
because growing up and it really affected me then. But

416
00:24:17,519 --> 00:24:21,160
looking back, that's when it really came to lightest man,

417
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,400
it's it's been good to hear I love you in

418
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:24,799
that way.

419
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 2: You're a bit more of a modern dad. In other words,

420
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,200
I'm older than you are. And when I think about

421
00:24:30,279 --> 00:24:33,119
my father never said I love you to us, the

422
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,319
four kids. But you sound like you're coming at this

423
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,440
from what I would regard as a more modern in

424
00:24:40,519 --> 00:24:44,799
touch with your feelings as a father and as a man. Yes,

425
00:24:44,839 --> 00:24:48,160
and your father might have been a generation ago, yes.

426
00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 5: And I'm real cognizant of that because, like I say,

427
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,680
I don't want because it's just human nature. Like my upbringing,

428
00:24:55,839 --> 00:25:01,599
it was very it was not your traditional upbring, very fragmented,

429
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,440
a lot of moving parts, right. And that's not to say, oh,

430
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,599
I want to spoil my son or my daughter. Definitely

431
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,559
don't want to do that. I want to, like I

432
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,119
said earlier, I want to provide a fair balance, just

433
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,400
letting them know, making them aware of what's right and

434
00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:19,680
u's wrong, and Hey, it's okay to be disciplined because

435
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,160
I think the structure that my dad provided and his

436
00:25:23,319 --> 00:25:27,920
strict ways and attributes helped me significantly navigate through life

437
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,799
become independent. Early. I would arguably say that I wasn't

438
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,640
I didn't really enjoy childhood, and I don't want my

439
00:25:35,799 --> 00:25:39,000
kids to feel like that. I want them to enjoy childhood,

440
00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:42,279
but I also want them to be responsible, which is hard.

441
00:25:42,319 --> 00:25:46,759
It's hard we have like my wife says, oh, he's

442
00:25:46,799 --> 00:25:49,279
only four, he's only five. I'm like, yeah, one day,

443
00:25:49,279 --> 00:25:51,440
you're gonna be like, he's only thirteen. I'm like, it's

444
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,200
going to be too late.

445
00:25:52,319 --> 00:25:56,759
Speaker 2: So anyway, but there's that balance you were talking about

446
00:25:56,839 --> 00:25:59,279
where you want them to know they're loved and supported,

447
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,119
but you can't get away with everything even though you

448
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,319
are four years old and super cute.

449
00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 3: Exactly, and obviously this next question will be something that

450
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,079
you'll reflect on, probably many years down the road, talking

451
00:26:13,079 --> 00:26:17,240
about this concept of generational trauma when your son and

452
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,559
then eventually your daughter are old enough to understand, hey,

453
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,480
dad wrote a book, and he wrote a book about

454
00:26:23,519 --> 00:26:26,839
this horrible thing that happened to our grandmother. Is that

455
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,599
something you're willing to share with them and tell them

456
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,680
about and teach them here's what happened, but I learned

457
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,440
from it. Or is that something that you want to

458
00:26:34,519 --> 00:26:37,079
keep separate from them so that they don't have to

459
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,519
undergo the kind of trauma that you went through.

460
00:26:40,079 --> 00:26:44,839
Speaker 5: I'm a big fan of transparency. As a parent, I

461
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,559
want to be proactive. Obviously, I wrote a book. It's

462
00:26:47,599 --> 00:26:50,200
like for anybody in the world to read the store

463
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:55,359
if they're interested, right, or look up my name or whatever.

464
00:26:55,559 --> 00:26:58,559
They'll see a bunch of information out there. But now

465
00:26:58,759 --> 00:27:00,680
part of the book is part of the reason for

466
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,279
the book. It also is to leave a legacy, right,

467
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:08,000
part of my legacy and our family's legacy, because it's

468
00:27:08,039 --> 00:27:11,559
stuff I want to know about my great grandmother or

469
00:27:11,559 --> 00:27:14,240
whatever that I really don't know about, and I think

470
00:27:14,279 --> 00:27:18,200
it's important just to add clarity to our family's history.

471
00:27:18,839 --> 00:27:23,680
You look back in history, now everything wasn't sunshine and rainbows.

472
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:27,720
Where's you're dealing with wars or family. You go down

473
00:27:27,759 --> 00:27:29,920
the line, you're going to find something that was a

474
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,519
little off. It might not be as traumatic as this,

475
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,799
but you're going to find something. And I just think

476
00:27:34,799 --> 00:27:38,319
it's a part where it will add more positive impact,

477
00:27:38,319 --> 00:27:41,680
and so they really understand man Dad, he really been

478
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:45,279
through a lot, but he also learned from it and

479
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,960
raised us to be better and not go through such

480
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,440
a thing. And I think it also give him the

481
00:27:51,519 --> 00:27:55,759
strength to overcome obstacles. Just knowing that, I try to

482
00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:58,920
stay ahead of the trauma that I experience and just

483
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,640
be a leader in that aspect as the individual, then

484
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,759
as a father, then as a husband. So I have

485
00:28:05,839 --> 00:28:09,920
no regrets when they get a proper aid, whatever question

486
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,839
they want to know, already have books signed to them,

487
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,599
so when they get older, it's something they will cherish

488
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,720
and keep say for them as they get older.

489
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:24,519
Speaker 2: This is a two parter. What was the most difficult

490
00:28:24,599 --> 00:28:26,920
part of writing the book for you?

491
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 5: I would say really just collating all of the I

492
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:38,240
guess information, rapports, documentation, interviews, and just really collating as

493
00:28:38,319 --> 00:28:41,680
much information as possible and really trying. Like I mentioned,

494
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,240
it's my first book, it's really trying to I have

495
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,880
it's my story. I know my story, but how do

496
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,519
I put that in the format of a book. I

497
00:28:51,559 --> 00:28:55,799
had no idea, So I literally hired a team. I

498
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:59,880
hired a graphic designer for my cover, and that house

499
00:29:00,039 --> 00:29:02,039
in the front of that coverage is the actual house

500
00:29:02,279 --> 00:29:05,880
that I grew up in and it still stands today.

501
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,200
That was the house my dad was still living in

502
00:29:08,279 --> 00:29:11,559
before he got indicted and so forth. But I will

503
00:29:11,599 --> 00:29:15,440
say that's the hardest point, just putting everything in perspective,

504
00:29:15,559 --> 00:29:19,640
and really that's from a technical standpoint. Other than that,

505
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,279
it was just reliving the whole idea from day one

506
00:29:22,559 --> 00:29:25,559
all the way up to now and so forth. That

507
00:29:26,039 --> 00:29:28,680
was really challenging, and that's why it almost took me

508
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,279
four years to write the book.

509
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,599
Speaker 3: It was heroin. When I got to the part where

510
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,599
you were watching the crime scene video and reading the autopsy,

511
00:29:35,599 --> 00:29:39,559
I was like, oh, my heavens, I cannot believe that

512
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,079
you had the fortitude to do that. It would have

513
00:29:42,119 --> 00:29:43,279
made me a basket case.

514
00:29:43,519 --> 00:29:49,079
Speaker 5: Yeah, Kristin, it was a lot to unpack, very heavy.

515
00:29:49,839 --> 00:29:52,920
That was my purpose. I really wanted to. I wanted

516
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:57,359
people to feel me and just really understand that, hey man,

517
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,359
somebody could have it a lot rougher than you, ten times,

518
00:30:01,359 --> 00:30:05,480
a hundred times, thousand times, and I that was one

519
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,000
of my goals. I just wanted to keep it as

520
00:30:07,119 --> 00:30:11,599
real as possible in respect to my mother and all

521
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:15,599
parties involved. Yeah, it was. The crime scene was very tough.

522
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,480
It was very tough, but it was something like I

523
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,279
mentioned earlier, reading about what happened versus seeing what happened.

524
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:27,079
For me, it was weird closure for me because I'm

525
00:30:27,079 --> 00:30:31,599
not type. I'd rather do it versus wondering what if

526
00:30:31,599 --> 00:30:34,359
I were to see it versus just reading about it,

527
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:35,799
if that option is available.

528
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 2: Did law enforcement give you full access to the case

529
00:30:40,279 --> 00:30:46,079
files as the years went fine? No, no, but you

530
00:30:46,119 --> 00:30:52,240
did manage to see some extremely detailed and difficult to

531
00:30:52,359 --> 00:30:55,759
review material. But you weren't getting that from law enforcement.

532
00:30:56,759 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 5: No, that was through the attorney, through our attorney, but

533
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:04,960
they had access and it also presented during trial as well.

534
00:31:04,799 --> 00:31:08,319
Speaker 2: So you had access to those documents after the trial

535
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,400
through your attorneys.

536
00:31:09,839 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 5: Throughout that I didn't have them previously, but throughout the

537
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,480
process leading up to trial, that's when I had some

538
00:31:15,559 --> 00:31:16,960
sort of access to them.

539
00:31:17,279 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 2: Did anyone ever say to you and that these are

540
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,279
people that are in your corner. Did anybody ever say

541
00:31:22,279 --> 00:31:25,160
to you, Reggie, are you sure you want to see

542
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:29,039
this material? It's very difficult. Did they try to talk

543
00:31:29,119 --> 00:31:29,759
you out of it?

544
00:31:30,279 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 5: Yes? It was made aware that it was very graphic,

545
00:31:34,279 --> 00:31:37,680
and that once you see it, you can't unsee it.

546
00:31:37,799 --> 00:31:39,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, we talk about that ourselves.

547
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:44,799
Speaker 5: That's I will never forget. Once you see it, you

548
00:31:44,839 --> 00:31:45,960
can't unsee it.

549
00:31:46,079 --> 00:31:46,319
Speaker 2: Yep.

550
00:31:46,519 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 5: And they're right, it's nothing I can't unsee. Like it's

551
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,079
the worst of the worst. But that's part of me

552
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:56,319
really understanding and getting to know my trauma and getting

553
00:31:56,359 --> 00:31:59,640
to know really what happened to my mother.

554
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,759
Speaker 3: The way that you write about trauma, I said this

555
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,680
off air already, but it's worth saying on air too.

556
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,920
The way that you write about trauma and healing it

557
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:13,839
is so powerful and so moving. And I can't remember

558
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,880
a memoir that I've read in the true crime space,

559
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,400
and Bill will tell you I read a ton of it.

560
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:24,920
I read everything. I really can't remember anything that has

561
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:30,759
been described so powerfully and so lucidly and transparently. Here's

562
00:32:30,839 --> 00:32:33,559
what it is to be traumatized, to live with it,

563
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,960
to heal from it, to be in the messy middle

564
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,000
of it, and still get up and do all of

565
00:32:40,039 --> 00:32:42,640
this every day and live your life and be successful.

566
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,680
From the very first minute, I started reading with a

567
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,599
highlighter in my hand and like marking every third page

568
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,000
I was like, oh my god, this is really something special, Reggie,

569
00:32:53,119 --> 00:32:56,440
it really is. And I just I really can't thank

570
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,920
you enough for being willing to share this with the

571
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:03,440
whole world. There is not anything else out there like this,

572
00:33:03,559 --> 00:33:04,680
and it's very powerful.

573
00:33:05,319 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you Kristin for those remarks. I had

574
00:33:09,279 --> 00:33:13,519
no idea of how it was gonna turn out. One

575
00:33:13,559 --> 00:33:18,440
of the scariest things were the book was pretty much complete,

576
00:33:18,599 --> 00:33:21,880
and I was like, Okay, it's done, and I have

577
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,720
to make my announcement and all that jazz, and I

578
00:33:24,799 --> 00:33:28,160
was like, man, I work in corporate America. People know

579
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,519
me professionally, so became friends, and they have no idea

580
00:33:32,599 --> 00:33:36,720
of my past and present, no idea. And I was like, man,

581
00:33:36,759 --> 00:33:40,599
I'm gonna get judged. I might even get black ball.

582
00:33:41,039 --> 00:33:44,279
People don't think I'm weirdo. I just had all these thoughts.

583
00:33:44,519 --> 00:33:47,880
I said, what the hell, spent this much time and

584
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,359
effort to write it, so I put it out there.

585
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:54,480
And the response was actually the opposite. It was a

586
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,599
lot of positivity, a lot of positive remarks. People are

587
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,640
amazed that this is part of my store, part of

588
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,000
my life. That was like, no way, Like you were

589
00:34:04,079 --> 00:34:06,400
just on the team's call during that time and you

590
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:10,480
were in trial, totally confused because I remember the week

591
00:34:10,519 --> 00:34:12,519
of the trial, I had had to take a team's

592
00:34:12,519 --> 00:34:15,320
call for work in the car doing the break. Two

593
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,519
days later, my dad got sentenced to life in prison,

594
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,360
and I'm back to work that monday, and you know,

595
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,400
nobody knew what was going on.

596
00:34:23,519 --> 00:34:25,599
Speaker 2: Not something you bring up at the watercore.

597
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,519
Speaker 5: Yeah, just ta hey, yeah my dad got blah blah blah.

598
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:29,800
Speaker 2: No.

599
00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 5: But I just think it added just another level of

600
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,480
respect and for people. Really, when I gathered the most

601
00:34:36,559 --> 00:34:39,360
is people really took the opportunity to step back and

602
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:44,760
look at their own situations. I've received several comments like that, man,

603
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,400
thank you for sharing your story. It provides a lot

604
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,239
of clarity, even for me the things I'm going through

605
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:57,199
that it's not that bad. I'll get over it, probably

606
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,440
by tomorrow. And I'll end with this is that if

607
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:05,199
it won't matter, obviously my situation a little different, but still,

608
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:07,599
if it doesn't matter, if it won't matter in the

609
00:35:07,599 --> 00:35:10,639
next five years, don't spend five minutes worrying about it.

610
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,000
Just keep pushing, keep moving forward.

611
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,280
Speaker 3: The book is The Day My Mother Never came home

612
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,400
by Reginald Read Reggie. Where can people find the book?

613
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 5: So it's two places. You can visit my website at

614
00:35:23,599 --> 00:35:27,519
r L read that's r e ed dot com r

615
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:33,199
obviously Amazon, Amazon's has everything, but if you're real particular,

616
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,320
you can go on Barsandoble dot com Books a million.

617
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,519
It's all over the place. What the easiness fastest, I'm

618
00:35:39,559 --> 00:35:41,480
sure you have the app is Amazon.

619
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 3: Reggie. Thank you so much for joining us and telling

620
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,599
us about your story. It is an absolute marvel of

621
00:35:48,639 --> 00:35:50,599
a book. Thank you for taking the time.

622
00:35:51,159 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 5: Thank you as well.

623
00:35:52,519 --> 00:35:54,199
Speaker 3: That's going to do it for this episode of mind

624
00:35:54,199 --> 00:35:57,199
Over Murder. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see

625
00:35:57,199 --> 00:35:57,880
you next time.

626
00:36:07,079 --> 00:36:10,599
Speaker 1: Mind Over Murder is a production of Absolute Zero and

627
00:36:10,679 --> 00:36:12,119
Another Dog Productions.

628
00:36:12,679 --> 00:36:16,039
Speaker 2: Our executive producers are Bill Thomas and Kristin Dilley.

629
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,800
Speaker 1: Our logo art is by Pamela Arnois.

630
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,519
Speaker 2: Our theme music is by Kevin mcleoud.

631
00:36:22,039 --> 00:36:26,079
Speaker 1: Mind Over Murder is distributed in partnership with kral Space Media.

632
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,880
Speaker 2: You can follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

633
00:36:30,079 --> 00:36:32,679
Speaker 1: You can also follow our page on the Colonial Parkway

634
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,559
Murders on Facebook.

635
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 2: And finally, you can follow Bill Thomas on Twitter at

636
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,039
Bill Thomas five six.

637
00:36:39,519 --> 00:36:42,599
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Mind Over Murder,