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Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice

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mix in.

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Speaker 2: Some vodka colored.

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Speaker 1: A podcast from the Mac of All Trade Studio in

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Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler Dots. Gee Ram, It's

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Billified the Bill Moran Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Well, hello and welcome.

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Speaker 3: Boy.

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Speaker 2: Am I excited for this?

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Speaker 4: Me too?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I know lauris here, but I'm not the starter.

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Speaker 2: No, you are not.

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Speaker 5: I'll start today, And actually I think it'll be a

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good conversation because it's coming off of when we had

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Mercedes Bascus Simmons on which we all got brought up, yes,

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which you said, you you like that one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's pretty good.

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Speaker 5: That's great, very very impressed with how all that went.

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Speaker 4: Very diverse.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And a lot of interesting things came out of

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there that I think are I think when you were here.

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Were you here when we did the Rich and Trashy? Yeah? Right,

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And I said, taking government money if you're if you're poor,

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it's trashy.

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Speaker 2: If you're rich, it's classy. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: And that's one of the things that I think. When

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you heard her say my mother would never take government money,

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it's interesting because you know, I'm sure it was needed,

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but she didn't do it because there was the stigma

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to it.

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Speaker 4: When she said that her mom handed out five dollars

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for every a yeah, for kids, I was just like, damn,

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what a awesome way to like kids. Yeah right, and

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to you know, be like a community leader because you

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know that everyone's going to respect you, kids are going

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to look up to you.

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Speaker 5: Then. Uh, just for anybody who didn't listen to that episode,

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Mercedes Veskae Simmons is running for New York State Assembly.

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She kind of fell into the legislature. And what was

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interesting to me was like I would see her stuff

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pop up on my bilified Facebook page and there was

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boxing stuff. She's standing with Sugar Ray Leonard and all this.

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I'm like, who is this woman?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: And then it turns out she was a boxing promoter.

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So I called and the podcast didn't go the way

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I thought it would. You know, we talked a lot

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about kids and things, and there was a point that

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she said something that has stuck in my head ever since.

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Speaker 2: She talked about kids, real kids right here.

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Speaker 5: In Monroe County, and I think this could apply to

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any big city in our country, maybe around the world,

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but definitely in our country. And they said if I

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make it to sixteen. If I make it to sixteen,

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and when you think about that, it's not when I

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turned sixteen. Remember when you wanted to turn sixteen, Like

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you're all excited, You're gonna get your car, your license,

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whatever it was.

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Speaker 2: It was a big deal.

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Speaker 5: And I want to know, what are these kids actually

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thinking and what the hell is kind of missing? And

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Laura said, well, my boyfriend Joe works at that rec center.

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Speaker 4: He works at the Carter Street Rec Center.

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Speaker 2: And that's the one that Mercedes was talking about.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so I thought it was just interesting, and I thought, boy, Joe,

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you probably have some great insight to this because you're

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right on the front line so to speak with the kids.

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Because I have often said, like the answer, and I

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don't know if if it's necessarily true, but I feel

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like the only way to combat so much stuff is

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building a kid's self esteem.

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Speaker 2: And when I say so much stuff.

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Speaker 5: Anybody's seeing this Instagram ad that's going around where it

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was like it's little kids and they're saying, Wait, in

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the future, you can order food that comes right to

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you through this box. In the future, you just look

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at everything on this box. Wait, you can't. Yeah, it's

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like so it's like kids. There's like little kids in

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the eighties being told what's coming. Okay, right, it's supposed

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to be flashback and it just shows you like that

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simpler time and like one kid goes, wait, in the future,

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people just don't sit and.

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Speaker 2: Stare at the stars, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 5: And something to that effect, I'll have to I should

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have found it for this.

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Speaker 2: But the.

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Speaker 5: With Mercedes saying all that stuff and I say, build

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self esteem, I think the self esteem sometimes can help

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combat all the influence.

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Speaker 2: If you feel good.

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Speaker 5: About yourself, I don't need this other bullshit. But it's kids, right,

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and what looks cool and what's going on? So I

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feel like it's a buzzword. And I don't know how

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you necessarily build self esteem in kids other than trying

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to incentify them that winning feels good, or when you

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do well it feels good, or when you work hard

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and there's a payoff, it feels good. But I'm just

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curious because if I make it to sixteen, that kind

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of that hits is like a real thing, right, you

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know what I'm saying. It's a strange thing. And then

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I'm just wondering when you see these kids. What's something

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kids casually say that would kind of shock people who

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don't live in that world, who aren't around those that

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the Carter Center.

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Speaker 2: I mean, do you hear.

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Speaker 3: Things like this?

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Speaker 6: I mean, I don't hear stuff like that, per se.

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I guess it's just more the language that kids use.

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An eight year old the way he talks that my

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rec center is completely different than an eight year old

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that's Laura's kids or the kids out here in the

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suburbs and stuff like that. So I don't hear anything

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directly the way you're saying it. But what I can

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say is, you know, you're bringing up the age of sixteen.

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Speaker 3: Our leagues that we run usually end at fifteen.

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Speaker 6: So that sixteen seventeen year old kid, if he's going

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the streets, he's going the streets. If he enjoys the

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rec center, we're making an impact on him. He stays

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stays at the rec center still. So it's a very

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interesting age where you do see kids choose.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: So with that being said, I guess our impact is

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on the younger kids, hopefully changing them so they when

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they turn sixteen.

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Speaker 3: They stay with us or they get a job.

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Speaker 6: Right, if we get those kids who are fifteen sixteen

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at the time, nine times out of time, they already lost.

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Speaker 5: Really, man, because I'm thinking when when you walk into

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the rec center, and if it's mostly younger kids, then I'm.

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Speaker 6: The youngest we serve is I think I have a

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five year old, and then it goes all the way

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up to I mean seventeen.

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Speaker 3: It's supposed to be high school.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, but if we have some of our regular kids

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who've been there for a couple of years, we let

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them come in. I'd say you probably go up to

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like twenty two, twenty three, twenty four.

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Speaker 3: We'll let you come in.

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Speaker 2: What's the uh what's the vibe when you go in there? Like?

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Speaker 5: And by that, I mean is there are the kids guarded?

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Is there kind of a hopefulness with them? The survival mode?

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Speaker 2: I mean these are all.

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Speaker 6: No, I wouldn't. I mean it didn't miss. Everything's different.

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So the rec centers are coming go as you please.

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It's not a daycare facility. So when we get parents

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that drop their kids off, they literally think we're just

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gonna watch their kids all day. Then we tell them

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that their kids are free to leave. They can leave

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whenever they want, So that scares parents at times because

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it's like, I have a seven year old.

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Speaker 3: I don't want my seven year old to just walk away, right,

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you know, we're not just gonna.

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Speaker 6: A lot a seven year old walk away, but technically speaking,

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he could. The other thing that a lot of parents

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and the public season they worry about it sometimes, is

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that huge age gap. You know, at one point you

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can see a six year old and then you see

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the nineteen twenty year old. It's a big brother, big

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sister program. Ok, brother, little sister. Yeah whatever I'm trying

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to say, it's that so and that's like the most

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beautiful thing I've seen, and I've been there, you know,

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eleven twelve years now. It's just it's just cool to

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see that fourteen fifteen year old look after the six

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and seven year old.

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Speaker 3: So it's a family. That's what I would say.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, that's to me, that's pretty cool.

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Speaker 5: I guess the thing that I hear, and I don't

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know if you hear the same thing, Laura, when a

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kids says, if I make it to sixteen, I feel

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like they feel as though they don't matter, you know

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what I'm saying, Like I really do, I do these

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kids believe that they actually are.

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Speaker 4: Made value or just from I think it's also from

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what they see of their peerers. So if you know,

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I know, Joe has said that he has had a

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lot of kids come through that you know, eventually he

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does lose to gun violence. Or even when the Kia Boys,

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he knows a lot of them because they came through

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his program and he's like, you know, we thought we

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were going to save them, but then we couldn't. So

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it's if you have that as a older sibling or

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a family member that you looked up to and then

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you see the violence happen or going you know, the

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wrong route, is that what you expect for yourself.

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Speaker 2: I could totally see that. I mean I could see that.

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Do kids feel like that?

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Speaker 5: I mean, it feels like you guys make them feel

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like they matter that the rec center sounds like it's pretty.

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Speaker 6: So what I was gonna say is when you were

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talking about incentivizing kids with money and stuff like that,

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what we do at the rec centers attention. You know,

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just giving giving kids attention is huge. It goes a

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long way. You know, just hey, how is your day,

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or we're joking with them. One of the biggest things

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is just literally just joking with kids all day. And

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that's one of the things Laura gets mad at me

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about because I'm a joker. So I'll joke with Laura

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and stop picking on me. And it's like, this is

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the love, you know said at the rec center.

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Speaker 3: Teasing people is love.

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Speaker 5: Laura likes teasing, just of a different kind.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, so you I mean, oh, yeah, the whole world knows, Joe,

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the whole world.

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Speaker 2: Whole world knows.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, I mean Joe. I think that was one

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of the first things that when we met and I

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found out what he did for work and I got

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to see like his heart from that standpoint, it impressed

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me a lot, you know, knowing what he does. And

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one of the first days I think that we were

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talking our first few weeks, he had texted me. He's like, oh,

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it's this one kid's birthday today and he's homeless, so

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I want to make sure I stop and get him

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some things so that he feels special.

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Speaker 5: And it was you know, we're Joe, how do you

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know like when a kid's homeless, like or what is

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the term now, unhoused?

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Speaker 2: I mean, do they tell you?

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Speaker 6: So I in that situation, the child came in and

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he wore the same.

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Speaker 3: Clothes for like four or five days in a row.

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Speaker 6: Okay, they're dirty, smelly, you know, they're you know, they're

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down on their.

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Speaker 3: Luck, and you know you just pull them aside. Hey,

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what's going on?

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Speaker 6: And that's just part of having rapport and building relationship

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with youth.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I'll ask, they'll tell.

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Speaker 5: Me because like, okay, because this is where I think.

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Sometimes people see kids like acting out or or or whatever,

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and you hit the nail on the head when you said,

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at least in my mind, giving them attention, right, because

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that shows them then that they matter, right, And it's

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important to talk to them because I think a lot

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of these kids, you'll hear, they need structure, they need discipline, right,

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they need better homes, whatever it is. And when I

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I keep coming back to the one thing. If a

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kid doesn't believe that they matter, then none of that lands,

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none of that means shit. And so to make them

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feel like they matter, yeah, I mean that. Yeah I

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want to jump his boons. No, no, no, but you

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know what I'm like, I can see no, I heard,

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I heard, But I just I think that it's an

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interesting uh something about kids. It's very important that they

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feel like they matter and they've got somebody in their

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corner that gives a shit. And it sounds like that's

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what the whole rec center does. You're there all day,

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every day.

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Speaker 6: Two to nine during the school days, and then when

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the kids are off from school, we go to a

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day shift, usually eleven or six.

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Speaker 3: Same with the summer.

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Speaker 6: Summer summer hours are generally nine to seven. So yeah,

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I'm there two to nine.

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Speaker 3: Schedule changes based on when kids are out of school,

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when they or not.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, what what do you think most adults misunderstand about

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these kids.

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Speaker 6: I don't think it's that they misunderstand. They're just not present.

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And that's that's the huge thing. I guess if you

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don't know the kids, you know, everybody just says, ah,

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they're city kids, and they label.

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Speaker 3: Them or they stereotype them. You got to get to

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know the kids.

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Speaker 6: The kids again, if you give them the attention and

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and you treat them, they're just like any other kid.

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Speaker 3: Are they going to be a little rough? Yeah, you

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know they're in the city.

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Speaker 6: They deal with bullshit that we don't deal with, you know,

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in the suburbs or different places.

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Speaker 5: What do you think is some of that like that

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that bullshit when you say that because I agree with you,

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I'm just curious as to what you think that that

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bullshit is. I mean, it's hard to learn in there.

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Speaker 6: I mean, I mean you can go to school, you

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can go to the neighborhoods. When you're walking down the

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neighborhood and you just see run down after rundown house,

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you see garbage, like where's the where's the pride? You

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don't see nice.

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Speaker 3: So it's just that's what you're just used to. When

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you go to.

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Speaker 6: School and teachers can't do anything or reprimand the student

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or anything like that for cussing or misbehavior.

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Speaker 3: You're packed in a class with thirty kids. How are

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you going to learn? I don't know.

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Speaker 6: There's a lot of There was an interesting poem I

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don't I can't read the whole poem because I don't

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know off memory, but it was basically like a kid

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saying like, I didn't do my homework last night because this,

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I didn't do this, I didn't do that.

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Speaker 3: I didn't have food to eat, I didn't.

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Speaker 6: Have electricity to do this, and my teacher was mad

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because I didn't do my homework.

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Speaker 3: I didn't have a pencil.

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Speaker 6: So it's like this teacher literally was mad that he

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didn't do his homework, but she has no clue what

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he's dealing with at home, right, So it's like homework

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is the last my worries.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that, like it's hard for teaching. They

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have systems, right, and they got to get so many

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kids through the state test and you've got to do

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this and there's all you know, there's money involved. There's

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money from the state or the money from the federal

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government if we don't reach these standards. And so I

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think there's a lot of pressure on these teachers, and

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I don't know that they're attuned to the kid who

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is where I say, like, meet the kid where the

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kid's at, try to understand that this kid probably can't

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do his homework. So here's why I used to always

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wonder why my father would not give homework. He taught

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in the inner city of Poughkeepsie and it's sixth grade.

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He wouldn't give homework for pretty much that same reason.

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Speaker 2: Really, yeah, because it was like.

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Speaker 5: You go back to I failed, So everything I do

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is I suck and I failed.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, one thing that Joe talks about a lot,

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you know, obviously being in Webster in the past few years,

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is the parent involvement, right, And because last week I

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had the boys parent teacher conferences and Joe's acclaiming that

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even though his kids have parent teacher conferences at their

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schools in the say, the parents don't show up.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: I can remember doing recruitment for the our centers, that's

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what we're called. There's I think there's like seven or

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nine out the city of Rochester, and I was doing

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like an open house, so it's not parent teacher conference,

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but like an open house you think a lot of

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parents are gonna come and whatnot. I'm sitting in a

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gym for two hours and I speak to four people

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and it's like there's literally no parent involvement.

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Speaker 3: Be it that the.

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Speaker 6: Parents just don't care and they can't or you know,

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they have to work, you know, one or two jobs,

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and there's just no presence there.

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Speaker 3: So it's just it's a different life.

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Speaker 5: It is a different life, and it's a different life

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just a couple of miles away. Yeah, I mean that's

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the thing that always kind of surprises me, and yet

341
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at the same time, like when I hear the kids

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say if I make it to sixteen, I don't know

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if that's fear. I don't know if that's just their environment,

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if it's a learned statement because they see other kids

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have said it, or they know somebody who didn't.

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Speaker 4: Well, I mean, you hear about the violence, and he's

347
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had violence. He had Last week there were two girls

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that were threatening to fight each other.

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Speaker 6: I would say I would say at least once a month,

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maybe once every two months, there's always an incident where it's.

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Speaker 3: Like, all right, are we calling the cops or are

352
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we handling this ourselves with security.

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Speaker 6: And the crazy part is is, at least at my

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rec center, when we get girls that come to the

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rec center that are between the ages like twelve and sixteen,

356
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twelve and seventeen, and their unfamiliar faces, we already know

357
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something's going down.

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Speaker 3: So all the staff.

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Speaker 6: Are on alert. We're walking around and you know, all

360
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the story Lord is explaining. It was literally this past

361
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Friday night, I had a group of girls come in

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and they're hanging out in the game room. They're mean

363
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mugging another girl. So I'm just keeping an eye on it,

364
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just make sure everything is good. And by the end

365
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of the night, you know, the group of girls say

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something to the one girl.

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Speaker 3: Now the one girl wants to fight six of them.

368
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Speaker 6: I got a step dad coming in dragging the one

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girl out, and it's just like, oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Here we goes.

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Speaker 6: I didn't even start yet, but it just when when

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it's wintertime, it almost feels like I don't want to

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say bad kids, but it feels like all the troublesome kids,

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they're troublesome people.

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Speaker 3: They're staying home, it's cold.

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Speaker 6: At the rec center, you know, that family environment that

377
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I'm talking about.

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Speaker 3: The kids want to be there, so they're coming. If

379
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it's raining, it's snowing, they're going to be there.

380
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Speaker 6: Because not only do they want to be there, but

381
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they need to be there.

382
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Speaker 3: They don't have food. We serve food on a daily basis.

383
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We provide, you know, a hot.

384
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Speaker 6: Meal, and that might be the only hot meal that

385
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kid gets. That being said too, you know, with Laura's

386
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,480
organizing things, she gets a lot of stuff and I

387
00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:33,480
bring in to the rec center, you know, shoes and

388
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clothes and.

389
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Speaker 2: Do they need that? I mean, do they need that?

390
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Speaker 5: But so I'm like cleaning out my closet and I'm

391
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,839
going I'm gonna drop all this stuff off at good Will,

392
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:43,400
but should it.

393
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Speaker 2: Go to the rec center?

394
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Speaker 5: A lot of it's like workout stuff because I ballooned

395
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up and I'm.

396
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Speaker 2: Trying to balloon back down. But I'm never gonna fuck

397
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wear these things again.

398
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Speaker 4: It's kids sizes and it's shoes.

399
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Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, shoes are definitely insted.

400
00:18:57,759 --> 00:18:58,000
Speaker 6: Yeah.

401
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,400
Speaker 4: Joe will talk constantly. He'll he'll look at like Lucas's

402
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,000
shoes and he'll be like, Lucas, are you wearing these anymore?

403
00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:05,880
Like I have a kid who needs a pair of shoes.

404
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,680
You know, we're just like take them because he'll have

405
00:19:08,759 --> 00:19:11,920
kids come in in the winter wearing crocs that are

406
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two sizes too big because they're wearing their parents shoes.

407
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Speaker 3: I don't mean, but no, I don't want to lose

408
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track of my thought.

409
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Speaker 4: I'm in Okay.

410
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,039
Speaker 6: What I was going to say too, is you know

411
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what we're talking about this just I've interviewed for a

412
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,480
couple of suburban rec center jobs and it's.

413
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Speaker 3: Funny what we're talking about. When I share this to

414
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:32,319
you know.

415
00:19:32,279 --> 00:19:35,440
Speaker 6: Directors and stuff in the suburbs, they have no clue

416
00:19:36,319 --> 00:19:39,319
the suburbs. You can literally focus on recreation. You know,

417
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,720
a kid can come, you can run a program in.

418
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Speaker 3: The whole nine yards.

419
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Speaker 6: But when I got kids coming that, Hey Joe, I

420
00:19:46,039 --> 00:19:49,039
haven't had food today, or I need I need this?

421
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Speaker 3: Do you have that?

422
00:19:50,599 --> 00:19:55,039
Speaker 6: We're providing basic needs. So it's not just recreation, it's

423
00:19:55,079 --> 00:19:58,519
literally basic needs. When when kids come and they don't

424
00:19:58,519 --> 00:20:01,640
have a coat, you know, and it's ten degrees outside,

425
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,880
Are we going to let that kid walk home? No,

426
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,559
we're not gonna let them walk home. Are we supposed

427
00:20:05,599 --> 00:20:07,799
to drive them home? No, but get my damn car.

428
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:09,799
I'm gonna bring you home and we'll find a coat

429
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,680
for him. So it just it goes back to the

430
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,079
family thing. So it just it stinks that when I

431
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:20,799
go into these interviews and I talk, it's not about recreation.

432
00:20:21,039 --> 00:20:23,920
It's just about being an important person in these kids' lives.

433
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,160
Speaker 2: Why what makes you stay?

434
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Speaker 3: What makes me stay?

435
00:20:27,799 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 2: Yeah?

436
00:20:28,079 --> 00:20:33,559
Speaker 5: Because I mean I would assume if you've interviewed other places, Yeah,

437
00:20:33,759 --> 00:20:35,559
you probably stand out as a candidate.

438
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Speaker 2: I would.

439
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:41,319
Speaker 6: I think I got a negative attitude sometimes and I

440
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,839
spend too much time in interviewing griping about with the

441
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,680
background of the recreation apartment in the city.

442
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Speaker 3: But the kids make me stay.

443
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Speaker 6: I tell everybody, if I work ten days, eight of

444
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,920
them suck, but two of those days is beautiful and

445
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:57,599
it's worth it.

446
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 2: So what what what makes it beautiful? Like you feel like?

447
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 6: So I never had I never had any kids of

448
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,440
my own, and I grew up in the rec centers

449
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,759
as a kid. The rec centers were very important to me.

450
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:17,319
I started volunteering at one, then I started working. So like,

451
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,519
for instance, I guess one of my favorite stories is

452
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:25,880
I had a kid and we were softball practice and

453
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:29,000
he was eight or nine years old. Little kid didn't

454
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really play a lot of sports. And the very first

455
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,400
practice he got a black guy, you know, trying to

456
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:35,440
catch pop ups or whatever.

457
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 3: I got hit with the ball.

458
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Speaker 6: And then fast forward a month and a half later,

459
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,599
we're a couple of practices, in four or five games,

460
00:21:41,599 --> 00:21:42,640
he catches that pop fly.

461
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Speaker 3: He just smiles and he looks at he goes, mister Joe,

462
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,880
I caught it, yeap, And it's just like wow, you know,

463
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:52,240
like I did that. So it's just knowing that I

464
00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:55,079
have an impact on somebody's life and well.

465
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Speaker 5: Building that confidence and stuff. Yeah, and the impact. Yeah,

466
00:21:58,559 --> 00:22:01,519
I agree, but you you're building confidence. I mean I

467
00:22:01,519 --> 00:22:03,920
always think, like, how do you build self esteem? Or

468
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,000
the answer is self esteem? It sounds like a poster

469
00:22:06,039 --> 00:22:09,480
and a guidance counselor's office, but it sounds like that's

470
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,720
exactly what you're doing, is you know, for the to

471
00:22:12,839 --> 00:22:16,799
make that catch, I'll always say, and I think one

472
00:22:16,839 --> 00:22:18,519
of the great things you can say to kids is

473
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,480
you did that. Yeah, right, you did that, because it's

474
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,799
a self esteem builder in a way, and it reminds

475
00:22:25,839 --> 00:22:28,440
them that they did it right. You showed them how,

476
00:22:28,759 --> 00:22:31,079
but they actually did it. And I think that that's

477
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:35,200
like a really important concept because I think that, you know,

478
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,640
it just sounds like one of the things that rec

479
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:44,960
center provides and maybe you in particular, is consistency attention.

480
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:45,799
Speaker 2: Right.

481
00:22:45,839 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 5: I know, I go in there, I'm going to see

482
00:22:47,279 --> 00:22:51,079
my favorite people. I'm going to feel safe. I feel

483
00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:53,359
like I matter there, you know what I mean? Those

484
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,240
are all really really important things. And it's so funny

485
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,920
because you go, well, yeah, of course you matter, but

486
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,440
if you never ever felt it, if you don't feel

487
00:23:02,519 --> 00:23:05,240
like it, right. I always think one of the most

488
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,599
important things you could do for your kids is feed them,

489
00:23:09,519 --> 00:23:12,240
like make them breakfast, even if it's you know, boiled

490
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,359
eggs and an apple. I don't care if you have

491
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,359
to go to a food pantry to get the food

492
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,799
to do it. You need to do that because there

493
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,039
is such an important thing. They need to know they

494
00:23:21,079 --> 00:23:23,319
can count on you, and when they don't, and when

495
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,599
they can't, that's a it's an open you know, it's

496
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:32,480
open season on whatever. So I mean, you've seen kids

497
00:23:32,559 --> 00:23:36,079
change and stuff is there. I hesitate to ask this,

498
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,519
but I will. What's the funniest thing it can ever

499
00:23:39,599 --> 00:23:44,480
said to you that you absolutely could not believe it?

500
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:45,839
Repeat in a staff meeting?

501
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 3: Oh, I would repeat the staff meeting. We're all we

502
00:23:48,519 --> 00:23:49,359
talk about all the time.

503
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 6: I guess one of the standout stories, like I was

504
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,559
telling Laura, you know, picking on.

505
00:23:53,559 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 3: People as a love language at the rest center.

506
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 6: So drilling somebody or making fun of somebody, that's that's

507
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,119
just love language. So I had a kid, he was

508
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,039
actually the kid that was almost a couple of years ago.

509
00:24:04,599 --> 00:24:08,079
I did lose them to the streets. Unfortunately he pops

510
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,200
by here and there. But we were sitting at at

511
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,559
a table and you know, I'm bald head and whatnot.

512
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,319
Speaker 3: So he he told me I looked like a cracker.

513
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 6: So he was eight or nine at the time, may

514
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,359
have been a little bit older, and the rest of

515
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,119
the table was just.

516
00:24:23,079 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I can't say.

517
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 6: So I looked at him and I said, uh, I

518
00:24:28,279 --> 00:24:30,440
want to use his name, but I laughed because it

519
00:24:30,519 --> 00:24:31,000
was innocent.

520
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 2: He had the idea, what kind of cracker do I

521
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,480
look like? No, I just looked at her.

522
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 6: I go, listen, I understand, you know, you're just joking around,

523
00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:40,319
but like, you can't say that, and he goes, what

524
00:24:40,319 --> 00:24:42,519
do you mean. I go, well, if I said you

525
00:24:42,519 --> 00:24:44,920
look like a monkey, dude, like you can't do that.

526
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:46,519
Speaker 3: Oh.

527
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 6: So he laughed, and you know, it was just a

528
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,039
funny story. But you know, it is what it is.

529
00:24:51,079 --> 00:24:52,519
Speaker 3: Man. You just got to lighten up about that.

530
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: Are they roasting you constantly?

531
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,119
Speaker 3: These kids? I get roasted all the time for being

532
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:56,680
bald headed.

533
00:24:57,519 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 6: So like my latest thing, especially, I go back to

534
00:25:01,039 --> 00:25:04,079
the you know the kid that's like thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, Hey,

535
00:25:04,279 --> 00:25:05,599
mister je you know you're bald headed.

536
00:25:05,559 --> 00:25:10,079
Speaker 3: And I go, well, your mom likes it. So there's

537
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:13,960
a couple of kids. There's a couple of kids.

538
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:19,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, I want to go down there and play.

539
00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:21,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's really funny.

540
00:25:22,279 --> 00:25:22,519
Speaker 3: Yeah.

541
00:25:22,599 --> 00:25:25,519
Speaker 5: Well look if they're open to playing and stuff like that,

542
00:25:25,599 --> 00:25:26,920
I mean, it makes you, you know, it makes me

543
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,279
feel like they matter because I think everybody like when

544
00:25:30,319 --> 00:25:32,160
they hear things is and I think one of the

545
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,960
biggest mistakes we do sometimes is throw money at a situation.

546
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:43,759
Speaker 2: And why did you laugh? I'm just thinking, why are

547
00:25:43,799 --> 00:25:44,240
you laughing?

548
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 4: Because like Joe will sometimes be like if I've tried

549
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,880
to do like a big gesture to the rec center,

550
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,599
Joe's like, the kids don't need that. Just bake them cookies,

551
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:59,000
like do something simple because they will appreciate that more.

552
00:25:59,359 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 2: You know.

553
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 5: Well, what I was saying is, sometimes, like you know,

554
00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:07,480
through government funding or whatever, we throw a lot of

555
00:26:07,519 --> 00:26:10,319
money at a situation, but the situation never gets better.

556
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,680
And I think a lot of times it's because we're

557
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,039
spending somebody else's money.

558
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:15,880
Speaker 2: Like you know what I mean.

559
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,319
Speaker 5: I now see why my parents wanted to pay my

560
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,799
car insurance when I first got my car sixteen, because

561
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,039
you're gonna it's your skin in the game, you know

562
00:26:25,079 --> 00:26:27,319
what I mean. And I think sometimes there isn't that stuff,

563
00:26:27,599 --> 00:26:30,759
and that's where when you see misappropriation of funds or

564
00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:35,319
all of a sudden, somebody's doing something. I go, I'm

565
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,759
not sure we can actually blame the person, and I

566
00:26:37,799 --> 00:26:42,519
know that sounds terrible, but for example, that Minneapolis daycare.

567
00:26:42,319 --> 00:26:43,079
Speaker 3: They were cold.

568
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 5: If your kid has autism or something, it's two thousand

569
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,400
dollars and they're going, hey, does your kid write the

570
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,000
number five backwards? Could you use an extra two thousand dollars?

571
00:26:52,039 --> 00:26:55,400
I'm like, how do you not do that to try

572
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,640
to help your community out, you know what I'm saying.

573
00:26:57,759 --> 00:27:00,440
And it's not it wasn't the right way, was in

574
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,359
the way the money should be used. But we just

575
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,720
throw money out there with no guardrails on it, and

576
00:27:04,799 --> 00:27:06,839
then and then we get pissed off, and it's like

577
00:27:07,039 --> 00:27:07,720
a whole lot a.

578
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 4: Second, he'll talk about like getting programming, funding programming, or

579
00:27:14,279 --> 00:27:17,640
somebody comes in through the city that tries to show

580
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,880
the kids something and he's like, this is not what

581
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,279
these kids need. I'm trying to think of like a

582
00:27:23,279 --> 00:27:30,799
specific but you know what, But like I would say,

583
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,880
from my perspective, one of the coolest things has been

584
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:38,400
when we will be out and about in a Rochester

585
00:27:38,519 --> 00:27:43,720
setting and have kids who came through his rec center.

586
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,599
Five years later, I'll be like, oh my god, Joe.

587
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,640
And then they'll come up and they're so excited to

588
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,519
see him, and they will talk to me because he'll

589
00:27:53,559 --> 00:27:56,079
introduce me and the boys, and they will be like

590
00:27:56,319 --> 00:27:59,200
he was the best person ever, Like he saved us.

591
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,519
I had client the other week in the city, and

592
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,519
her twenty two year old niece showed up and randomly

593
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,880
started talking about Carter Street. It was like, my boyfriend

594
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,039
works at Carter Street, Joe read. She's like, are you

595
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:15,039
kidding me? You know, it's just to see the impact

596
00:28:15,039 --> 00:28:20,519
that this man has truly on our community has blown

597
00:28:20,559 --> 00:28:21,839
me away past few.

598
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 5: I can't imagine that you would want to leave that necessarily.

599
00:28:26,279 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know.

600
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 3: I have one reason why. But yeah, I'm not going

601
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,799
to talk about that. Yeah, yeah, but.

602
00:28:33,759 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 6: You know, oftentimes I don't mean to segway, but I'll

603
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,720
segue a little bit. The only other thing that I

604
00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:42,400
thought about doing potentially and still living in the city

605
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,000
and working with the city is you know, becoming a cop.

606
00:28:45,079 --> 00:28:46,559
That's what I went school for. I went to school

607
00:28:46,599 --> 00:28:49,680
for criminal justice. I wanted to be a police officer.

608
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:53,000
I lived in the community. I know the people. You know,

609
00:28:53,079 --> 00:28:55,359
even at the rec center when they raise the age

610
00:28:55,599 --> 00:28:57,880
to be a police officer, I still went back and

611
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,039
forth because I think I'd make.

612
00:28:58,960 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 3: A great cop.

613
00:28:59,559 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 6: You know, what you see, especially in the city, is

614
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,440
you see a lot of cops that aren't from the community.

615
00:29:05,799 --> 00:29:11,039
They're a lot younger, they're not people people, And I

616
00:29:11,079 --> 00:29:14,160
don't know. I think I just got enough swag, enough juice.

617
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: So you don't want to situation. Would you do it?

618
00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 6: I would do if you could tell me that I

619
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:26,200
wouldn't be stuck overnights my entire first year or just

620
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,119
working the crappy hours. Yeah, I would do it if

621
00:29:29,119 --> 00:29:31,799
you if you say, hey, we'll give you hours, I'd

622
00:29:31,839 --> 00:29:34,599
leave tomorrow if you gave me hours, and then like

623
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,680
put me in a school setting or one of the things.

624
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,440
Like the first thing I would do is I would

625
00:29:39,559 --> 00:29:42,519
visit the rec center. You know, now when cops come

626
00:29:42,519 --> 00:29:44,680
to the rec center, the kids scatter and they're like,

627
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,160
oh my god. And it's like telling the kids like,

628
00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:49,559
just because the cops here doesn't mean it's negative.

629
00:29:49,559 --> 00:29:52,119
Speaker 3: It could be a positive, but the cops don't do that.

630
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,759
Speaker 6: So like that is one of the hugest things that

631
00:29:54,839 --> 00:29:56,440
I would have made an effort to do.

632
00:29:56,759 --> 00:29:59,759
Speaker 5: That was something that Mercedes said that there was a

633
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:04,480
soccer game and at the last game or the last

634
00:30:04,559 --> 00:30:08,440
whatever the season, the officers showed up in their uniforms

635
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:12,119
and the kids didn't know they were police officers and

636
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,480
they were like, oh my god. And it just kind

637
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,119
of and I said, you know, there was the I

638
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,079
forget the name of the program, but there were basketball

639
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:25,079
leagues where the police were either coaches or played or

640
00:30:25,119 --> 00:30:28,000
whatever I think it was called. Yeah, I think you're right,

641
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:32,160
And it was years ago, and that was something that

642
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:38,559
what's his name in Greece. John Wallace always talked about

643
00:30:38,559 --> 00:30:40,079
being part of that, you know, and he went on

644
00:30:40,119 --> 00:30:42,400
to play for the next So you just it's those

645
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,240
types of things that I don't know. I guess I'll

646
00:30:46,279 --> 00:30:50,319
ask you, like, for every adult listening, what is kind

647
00:30:50,359 --> 00:30:53,079
of one thing to do differently with kids.

648
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 3: I don't want to use the word attention again, but.

649
00:30:56,799 --> 00:30:58,119
Speaker 2: I think that's it.

650
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 3: The one thing. It goes against everything in twenty twenty six,

651
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,839
but we got to stop baby in the youth.

652
00:31:06,359 --> 00:31:09,519
Speaker 6: You gotta give it to them direct, and you got

653
00:31:09,519 --> 00:31:11,880
to give it to them firm and.

654
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:13,559
Speaker 3: Come back if it's too harsh.

655
00:31:13,759 --> 00:31:15,839
Speaker 6: One of the things I do is if somebody's messing

656
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,920
up in my rec center or breaking a rule, I'll

657
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,799
get my voice pretty loud and I'll correct them. And

658
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,920
then if I see, like if they shut down or

659
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,359
if they do that, that's when I come back.

660
00:31:26,359 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 3: And that that's when you can be soft. You know.

661
00:31:28,759 --> 00:31:31,359
Speaker 6: That's one of the things like Laura has seen, you know,

662
00:31:31,559 --> 00:31:35,440
just with my impact and her boys' lives, is I'm

663
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,880
not going to baby you, you know, and we got

664
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,640
to stop babying people. I mean, we all grew up

665
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,319
in this generation where we weren't babied, and now this

666
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,079
generation they just baby too many people.

667
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 3: Yeahn't know if that answers the question, but no, I

668
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:49,559
get it.

669
00:31:49,599 --> 00:31:52,599
Speaker 5: I Mean I'm sitting here thinking like, maybe it's not

670
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,839
really about fixing the kids as much as it's more

671
00:31:57,599 --> 00:32:02,119
about helping them to grow up not believing they they

672
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:07,200
weren't worth fixing. So by correcting them, you're fixing them,

673
00:32:07,519 --> 00:32:10,839
You're fixing the situation by correcting them whatever, you know,

674
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,759
whatever that is. And I think that you know, when

675
00:32:13,759 --> 00:32:15,799
you grow up feeling like you don't matter, you weren't

676
00:32:15,839 --> 00:32:19,400
worth fixing, well, I will say scary, it's a scary thing.

677
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,079
Speaker 3: But I was going to say, is you know exactly

678
00:32:21,079 --> 00:32:22,680
what you just said I should brought up earlier.

679
00:32:24,119 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 6: I don't do a great job at it as much

680
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:27,640
as my other staff.

681
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 3: And then something I need to work on.

682
00:32:29,559 --> 00:32:33,359
Speaker 6: But complimenting the kids, you know, calling the parents saying hey,

683
00:32:33,359 --> 00:32:35,720
you know, he's been doing good for the last week

684
00:32:35,759 --> 00:32:37,200
and a half, month and a half, or when the

685
00:32:37,279 --> 00:32:40,279
parents come in and you're telling them that the positive

686
00:32:40,319 --> 00:32:43,000
things not just always focusing on the negative things, which

687
00:32:43,039 --> 00:32:43,440
which was?

688
00:32:43,559 --> 00:32:44,119
Speaker 3: Which is good?

689
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:44,359
Speaker 2: You know?

690
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,279
Speaker 6: So like when I see a kid and say, hey, man,

691
00:32:48,519 --> 00:32:50,799
you've been doing good, that just brings joy to them.

692
00:32:50,839 --> 00:32:52,920
They just want to be told like like you just said,

693
00:32:53,039 --> 00:32:53,319
you know.

694
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,319
Speaker 5: So yeah, I mean I I even with my own kid,

695
00:32:57,359 --> 00:32:58,640
I think at times just said to me.

696
00:32:59,359 --> 00:33:01,039
Speaker 2: You never tell me I'm doing anything good.

697
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,599
Speaker 5: And I'm like, I mean, okay, I let's start doing

698
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:10,680
something good. No, no, no, I like I will.

699
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 2: To not.

700
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:19,119
Speaker 5: I guess Joe, what you said where we are baby

701
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,440
and kids is the phrase you used. So my thing

702
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:28,240
has always been more of I don't say I'm proud

703
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,680
of you. I say I'm proud for you and I

704
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,359
don't know why that makes a difference for me, or

705
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,079
I will say to each one of them, like like

706
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:40,519
even my oldest son, I got my partner to the

707
00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:43,359
ground twice in taekwond do today and he's a belt

708
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,559
above me. And I'll write back and go, that had

709
00:33:46,599 --> 00:33:50,160
to feel great right to recognize. But I don't need

710
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:51,920
to say I'm proud you.

711
00:33:51,799 --> 00:33:52,839
Speaker 2: Did it right.

712
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 5: I have no interest in getting my ass thrown to

713
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,359
a fucking met in taekwondo whatsoever.

714
00:33:57,599 --> 00:33:58,839
Speaker 2: I don't want to get in a boxing ring.

715
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 5: So I mean, it's my right, but I think that

716
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:06,279
there is something there and so or if if, like Jamison,

717
00:34:06,799 --> 00:34:10,199
I'll come home, he'll come home, or he'll text me

718
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,760
he's not supposed to have the phone in school. I

719
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,920
got a hundred on this and I did something else,

720
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,199
And I'll say to him, it's a lot of wins

721
00:34:18,599 --> 00:34:19,000
per day.

722
00:34:19,119 --> 00:34:21,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's a lot of wins. You know.

723
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 5: Keep you know that's got to make you feel great,

724
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:27,000
proving that you can, you can, and remember you got

725
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:27,639
these resources.

726
00:34:27,679 --> 00:34:28,679
Speaker 3: I don't know I'm gonna take that.

727
00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:32,039
Speaker 2: I have no I can't look the parenting.

728
00:34:32,159 --> 00:34:34,559
Speaker 5: I have no idea, But I'm just trying to think

729
00:34:34,679 --> 00:34:37,880
is And I'm older now and you get a much

730
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:41,039
different perspective on things, and you wish you had kind

731
00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:43,239
of had this perspective when my older sons were younger

732
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,679
other twenty five and twenty four. So but I just think,

733
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,159
like sometimes I don't need to take credit for this.

734
00:34:51,159 --> 00:34:53,599
This is something you did, but to recognize it in

735
00:34:53,639 --> 00:34:56,320
a way that's that's that way. I just when I

736
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,679
see here that that sixteen year old thing, that's that's

737
00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:00,800
the shit that suckond I had them all, yeah, And

738
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,280
I think it just sounds to me like I don't

739
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,719
matter or I don't know if it fear, is it real,

740
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:07,800
is it consistency?

741
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 2: I have no idea.

742
00:35:09,159 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 4: Well, and like I mean, I know he touched on

743
00:35:11,519 --> 00:35:15,960
it losing kids to the streets, but he, you know,

744
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,639
he's opened up with me about how hard it is.

745
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:22,360
And I remember last year one of the that there

746
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,280
was that Kia crash that killed done like ninety one

747
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,400
year old in Brighton and we read the names and

748
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,159
Joe was like, that was one of my kids.

749
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 6: Slice crazy that day he literally graduated like a trade

750
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,320
school and he was in the backseat with the ghost

751
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,199
gun and he was doing I mean he came into

752
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:42,039
the UR Center and he was a troubled kid.

753
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 3: He was there for about a year, year and a half.

754
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 6: He was turning and around, and like I said, he

755
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,960
did this job program and then.

756
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 3: To hear that it was like damn, he was just

757
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,159
doing so much better. Right.

758
00:35:54,199 --> 00:35:56,599
Speaker 5: And the thing that sucks is, like I'll often say,

759
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,719
I don't know if it's the real good or not,

760
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:04,079
but there's not a whole lot you can do at sixteen, seventeen,

761
00:36:04,119 --> 00:36:06,400
eighteen years old to fuck up your entire life.

762
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 2: But that maybe one of them.

763
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, when you're with a ghost gun or

764
00:36:11,519 --> 00:36:15,000
the serial numbers scratched off and you're in the backseat

765
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,039
of a car that just killed a ninety one year

766
00:36:17,039 --> 00:36:19,679
old man, we might have a problem here, Yeah, you know,

767
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,119
because the other stuff is like, all right, we can

768
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:23,960
you know, you can work through some of this other.

769
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:28,199
Speaker 2: Crap like that. Joe is also a ref Have you

770
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,440
ever been an umpire you.

771
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 3: Talking about for baseball?

772
00:36:31,519 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 2: Yeah?

773
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 3: I did softball for a couple of years.

774
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 6: I never did baseball, so no longer ref though I retired.

775
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:38,599
Speaker 2: Oh you did I did?

776
00:36:38,679 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, you took a year off last year and

777
00:36:42,519 --> 00:36:45,039
then decided, so he wanted to take a year off

778
00:36:45,039 --> 00:36:47,199
because he's like, this is the first time I've had

779
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,920
a family. And he had to be gone every single

780
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:54,480
Saturday roughing and missed all of Lucas's football games, and

781
00:36:54,559 --> 00:36:56,440
him and Lucas are two peas in a pod, and

782
00:36:56,519 --> 00:36:59,079
so he'd look at this, Joe, a year off.

783
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 2: I'm not a bad guy, that you were a bad guy.

784
00:37:03,079 --> 00:37:06,559
Speaker 4: And we were talking about switching jobs. He works nights. Yeah,

785
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:10,360
kids all they every day when I pick them up

786
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,519
for her school mamas. Joe coming home early tonight is

787
00:37:13,079 --> 00:37:18,159
so he's that's you know, it's yeah, it's tough.

788
00:37:18,679 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 2: I get it. We'll take a short break.

789
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 5: I want to ask you though, because something happened, and

790
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,360
I think it's by the time people hear this, the

791
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,039
actual event will be kind of old.

792
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,599
Speaker 2: But I think it's a conversation. Conversation that's going to

793
00:37:33,679 --> 00:37:35,320
go on for a while. So we'll get to that

794
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,159
right after this. When it comes to home improvement, you've

795
00:37:38,159 --> 00:37:38,800
got choices.

796
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 5: Let's say there's a hole in the bedroom wall and

797
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:46,599
somehow nobody in the house knows how it got there.

798
00:37:47,679 --> 00:37:51,119
You could fix it. I mean, there's always YouTube, right,

799
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,360
but you know, three hours later, it's gonna look like

800
00:37:55,559 --> 00:37:59,880
a patch job, not even a good patch job. And

801
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,320
how about that leak under the kitchen sink? Yeah, you

802
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:05,000
said you'd get to it, and that was what two

803
00:38:05,079 --> 00:38:08,119
and a half three months ago. If we're being honest,

804
00:38:08,679 --> 00:38:12,239
we all have that list, the one word deep down

805
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,760
you're not totally sure you've got the skills to pull

806
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:18,280
it off. If it's my list, I'm calling Mac of

807
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:23,519
All Trades. Holes in the wall, handled, leaky sinks done,

808
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,800
full kitchen remodel. Yeah they got that too, And hey,

809
00:38:27,559 --> 00:38:31,719
warmer weather's coming. How's that deck looking? Need it extended?

810
00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:37,960
Rebuilt outdoor patio. Don't be a deckhead called Mac of

811
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,480
All Trades five eight five two zero two ninety two eighteen.

812
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,719
That's five eight five two zero two ninety two eighteen.

813
00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:50,840
And you can see all they do online at Macofalltrades

814
00:38:51,039 --> 00:38:54,760
dot net. They'll handle it so you don't have to.

815
00:38:59,199 --> 00:39:01,760
Speaker 3: Whatever the hell they want.

816
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 5: So Joe's retired as a ref family man. Now, well

817
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,480
there's something that's happening. And I really wanted to hear

818
00:39:15,559 --> 00:39:18,559
your take on this, because the Reds beat the Red

819
00:39:18,599 --> 00:39:23,360
Sox six' five eleven. Innings but the story wasn't really.

820
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,880
That it was that the home plate umpire's name IS. C. B.

821
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:34,000
BUCKNER i Believe Cebe buckner may in his. Seventies Cebe

822
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,519
buckner had a brutal day behind the.

823
00:39:36,559 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 2: Plate brutal day behind the.

824
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 5: Plate buckner had six ball strike calls overturned By Major

825
00:39:46,519 --> 00:39:51,800
League baseball's new automated ball Strike challenge. System, okay so

826
00:39:52,159 --> 00:39:55,440
including back to back incorrect strike three. Calls this guy

827
00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:58,199
was more like a suggestion box with legs that day

828
00:39:58,239 --> 00:39:59,840
than he was an, umpire.

829
00:39:59,519 --> 00:39:59,800
Speaker 3: You know WHAT i?

830
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,639
Speaker 5: Mean, LIKE i THINK i think that was uh and

831
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,639
overall that the teams went six for eight in the.

832
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:11,440
CHALLENGES i think The reds were five out of five

833
00:40:11,519 --> 00:40:14,159
in their, challenges and THEN i think The Red sox

834
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:18,880
were one for one for three in, theirs including like

835
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:24,400
a strike three uh call that triggered an injection and

836
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,760
From alex For Alex, corea The Red sox. Manager so,

837
00:40:28,519 --> 00:40:31,280
look we could all go bad, umpire but this to

838
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:35,400
me wasn't about one bad. Umpire it's what happens when

839
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:39,480
technology starts creating human beings in real, time and what

840
00:40:39,519 --> 00:40:43,280
do we think of? That in a, way because there's

841
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,559
a piece of me that goes the human. Error who

842
00:40:45,559 --> 00:40:46,159
are you gonna yell?

843
00:40:46,199 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 2: AT i like yelling at. SOMEBODY i want to blame

844
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,000
you for a shitty.

845
00:40:50,039 --> 00:40:50,719
Speaker 3: Call you know WHAT i?

846
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 2: MEAN i want to blame you for a shitty. Call

847
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:54,639
NOW i. Can't it's it's it's a.

848
00:40:54,679 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 6: Machine you want to blame me for a shitty. Call

849
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,360
it's the same WAY i want to blame you for

850
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,440
a shitty. Coach so, like, YES i make.

851
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:01,039
Speaker 2: Them exactly as a.

852
00:41:01,079 --> 00:41:03,159
Speaker 3: Referee you've made plenty of mistakes as a.

853
00:41:03,199 --> 00:41:06,280
Speaker 5: Coach just yell at, me, Right But i'm just, saying,

854
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,519
like even as, fans we like that. Shit and that's,

855
00:41:09,559 --> 00:41:14,400
where LIKE i, go what happens when authority figures can

856
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:18,039
be instantly? Corrected like take that to like parenting OR

857
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:22,159
i don't, care teachers whatever you. Know and it's, like,

858
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:26,599
man because, umpires they weren't reviewable for a number of.

859
00:41:26,639 --> 00:41:29,320
Years AND i think they tested this first because The

860
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:30,800
Red wings had it The minor league.

861
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,599
Speaker 2: Baseball, yeah they tried it TRIPLE.

862
00:41:32,679 --> 00:41:36,559
Speaker 5: A and does this make the game more fair or

863
00:41:36,559 --> 00:41:38,880
do you think it kind of chips away at? Respect

864
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,480
or are we looking to just eliminate umpires all.

865
00:41:41,559 --> 00:41:45,280
Speaker 6: TOGETHER i, MEAN i think you still need them for a.

866
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:49,599
PRESENCE i think technology is great to get the correct

867
00:41:49,679 --> 00:41:50,079
call in the.

868
00:41:50,079 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 2: Field, SURE.

869
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 3: I think you need. BOTH i don't think you can

870
00:41:55,039 --> 00:41:55,639
just go straight to.

871
00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 6: Technology you can't have robots on the field just calling,

872
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,400
stuff because you still got to have some.

873
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 5: Humanity Human, yeah well that that's kind of my thing.

874
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,159
Too and and and that's the, thing, like can you

875
00:42:08,159 --> 00:42:10,760
imagine being fact checked in real time on ship when you're.

876
00:42:10,599 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 4: Just that would be it would be amazing and also so. Annoying, well,

877
00:42:17,159 --> 00:42:19,719
yes and you have your own, opinion so it's not

878
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:26,079
always what you. Say not everything is false or. Correct

879
00:42:26,159 --> 00:42:29,280
it's just sort of right. Opinion BUT i guess in the,

880
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:33,000
sports when there's, money when there's, everything well that's the problem.

881
00:42:32,639 --> 00:42:37,320
Speaker 5: Now so gambling that was fought by all these leagues

882
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,599
or pretending to be fall by off these, leagues you,

883
00:42:40,639 --> 00:42:43,360
know and now they're making so much money off of.

884
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,800
It it is they got to get the the call

885
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:51,800
correctly or. Correctly that's the part THAT I i guess

886
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,320
that it's almost. Ruined but do we want a flawless?

887
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,320
GAME i, mean do we want a flawless?

888
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 2: Game and then who do you have to?

889
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:00,159
Speaker 4: BLAME i.

890
00:43:00,199 --> 00:43:03,599
Speaker 2: Don't, well that's my. Point it's like bad calls have

891
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,320
always been part of sports.

892
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 6: TODAY i just it depends on what it. IS i,

893
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:12,320
mean let's just look at the sport of. Basketball a player.

894
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,679
Fall DO i want to go to replay every time.

895
00:43:15,559 --> 00:43:18,280
Speaker 3: To see if it's your? Faul, no it is what it.

896
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,519
Speaker 6: Is and then with that being, said every individual who

897
00:43:21,559 --> 00:43:23,280
calls the game is going to call the game. Different,

898
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:27,119
yes you, know sometimes you let stuff go sometimes you.

899
00:43:27,119 --> 00:43:28,760
Don't just depends on what kind of referee you.

900
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:32,559
Speaker 5: Are well THAT i mean like if we erase human,

901
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:38,400
error right to, me you're you're erasing human moments like.

902
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,000
That that's sort of the imperfection of the. Game like

903
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,239
you know what THE.

904
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 2: ESPN i.

905
00:43:47,199 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 5: By time myself in the morning by WATCHING, espn so

906
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,960
when they get To Get, up which is on at eight,

907
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,199
o'clock they could do twenty minutes on a back.

908
00:43:57,039 --> 00:44:00,679
Speaker 4: Hall it up every.

909
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:04,039
Speaker 2: Morning, yeah, RIGHT i like. IT i like. IT i

910
00:44:04,079 --> 00:44:05,360
Think greenberg does a great.

911
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 5: Job for a WHILE i was watching THE nfl thing

912
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,239
and THEN i just kind of fill. In so that's

913
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,280
become my daily, habit AND i think they.

914
00:44:12,199 --> 00:44:15,079
Speaker 2: Do a great, job but they would. Do, right what

915
00:44:15,159 --> 00:44:15,719
was the call?

916
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:17,519
Speaker 5: RECENTLY i think it might have been In oh, no

917
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,119
it was in The World Baseball classic.

918
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 2: At the Age oh, yeah that's.

919
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,199
Speaker 5: Okay but either, way they did like twenty minutes on,

920
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:26,719
it AND i, go.

921
00:44:27,079 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 6: You get these shows stop? Existing, WELL i mean that's

922
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,599
the issue in itself. Too you look at twenty years,

923
00:44:33,599 --> 00:44:36,440
ago you didn't have the technology for replaying this and

924
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,400
that and, whatnot so everybody was fine with human. Error

925
00:44:39,679 --> 00:44:42,880
now you're so quick to highlight a, call and you

926
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,760
can show it from forty different, angles and then you

927
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:49,079
can make it so egregious that that's all people want

928
00:44:49,119 --> 00:44:51,440
to talk. About twenty years ago you went to a baseball,

929
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,679
game how many people actually knew it was a striking

930
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:54,000
it was a?

931
00:44:54,039 --> 00:44:57,320
Speaker 3: Ball maybe the people behind home. Player, yeah that's about.

932
00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:58,519
Speaker 2: It that's about.

933
00:44:58,519 --> 00:45:00,760
Speaker 5: It and now, right and now can see and we

934
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,079
slow it, down and there's cameras, everywhere AND i, MEAN

935
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:07,920
i guess part of that, too if it's not automated

936
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,440
in a, way gives us stuff as fans to.

937
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 2: Are you it was right?

938
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:18,119
Speaker 5: There? Bob BUT i, go you, know people worry ABOUT

939
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:24,199
ai replacing, them, right replacing certain jobs and, things AND i, go,

940
00:45:24,599 --> 00:45:25,119
WELL i.

941
00:45:25,039 --> 00:45:26,199
Speaker 2: Think it does start out by.

942
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 5: Helping, yeah, right right now we're just, assisting and then, yeah, slowly.

943
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 2: You, know it goes.

944
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 5: Away and that's that's why to, me this is like

945
00:45:36,679 --> 00:45:40,599
a bigger. Conversation it's not about the. Umpire it's about every,

946
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:44,039
job every job that that that people are doing.

947
00:45:44,039 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 2: It AND i don't, know it.

948
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:50,679
Speaker 4: Is funny at Like lucas says basketball games this, Season,

949
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,599
Yeah joe would be, like oh this rough is not

950
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:57,599
calling anything, today or he just. COMMENTS i think sometimes

951
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:01,000
you even do it to. Yourself BUT i hear, about

952
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,880
oh that was a bad. Call that should have been a.

953
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:06,400
Call this should have been a. Call and the other.

954
00:46:06,639 --> 00:46:10,239
Parents everyone's gotten to Know, joe all my parent. Friends

955
00:46:10,559 --> 00:46:13,840
they will look At joe sometimes for a, call especially at,

956
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:18,360
football like When lucas's team is playing another, team and

957
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,000
he'll be, like, No lucas stepped out of, line like

958
00:46:21,039 --> 00:46:24,000
that's not you, know it's not that he always sides

959
00:46:24,039 --> 00:46:30,000
With lucas's, team but they all respect his. Calls WOULD.

960
00:46:31,559 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 3: I, Coach, NO i don't want to.

961
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,559
Speaker 6: COACH i MEAN i coach for work just because it's you,

962
00:46:37,599 --> 00:46:39,119
know it's there basic it's.

963
00:46:39,159 --> 00:46:43,480
Speaker 3: There but, Outside, No i'm not A i'm not a head.

964
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,599
Speaker 6: COACH i could be like an assistant coach or like

965
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,639
a helping, coach but head coach, NOW i don't have an.

966
00:46:48,679 --> 00:46:50,760
Speaker 3: Interest you could, be, uh.

967
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:51,760
Speaker 2: But the kids would love.

968
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 4: It lucas has. Asked, yeah, yeah.

969
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:01,559
Speaker 2: Like yours are.

970
00:47:01,559 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 3: Bad, yeah the hours are bad for family.

971
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,199
Speaker 6: Life, yeah and that was one of the you, Know

972
00:47:05,639 --> 00:47:07,840
i'm a little off topic or, whatnot but that was

973
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:09,719
one of the THINGS i Told laura WHEN i first met.

974
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:13,559
HER i don't REALLY i can't have a relationship with

975
00:47:13,639 --> 00:47:16,280
somebody with kids because my work hours. Suck it's not

976
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,000
fair to. You it's not that you. KNOW i looked

977
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,400
At laura different from having. Kids it's, like you got two.

978
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,320
Kids i'm not gonna be around and.

979
00:47:23,199 --> 00:47:26,199
Speaker 3: That's the tough. Part but LIKE i take personal, TIME

980
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:28,519
i take, VACATION i take sick. Days So i'm. THERE

981
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:30,679
i you, KNOW I i'm there as the BEST i.

982
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:34,079
Speaker 6: Can but it's about the quality of time. Too it's

983
00:47:34,079 --> 00:47:37,320
not just being. There just make time for.

984
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 3: It.

985
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 2: Mhmm, wow where'd you find this.

986
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 4: Guy bronk at a?

987
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:44,039
Speaker 1: Bar?

988
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:51,199
Speaker 2: See that's one of the best love of stars. MAN i,

989
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,119
yeah tell you a little, alcohol we, can you can

990
00:47:54,199 --> 00:47:54,760
find the right.

991
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:58,320
Speaker 4: PEOPLE i mean it WAS i think neither of us expected,

992
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:04,719
anything and then it just happened very, quickly so, right,

993
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:08,199
YEAH i mean it Was New Year's eve when we.

994
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:11,880
Met we were out with different groups of, people and

995
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:16,480
one of my friends is married to someone who also

996
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:22,960
ref's college football and refed With, joe And joe went

997
00:48:23,039 --> 00:48:25,679
up to him and was, like, Hey, dave who's your blonde?

998
00:48:25,679 --> 00:48:28,360
Friend And dave, said don't waste your.

999
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:28,639
Speaker 3: Time?

1000
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 5: Wow, really, oh don't waste your?

1001
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 2: Time what is? That that's a, challenge.

1002
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:36,519
Speaker 3: Buddy it wasn't that it was a.

1003
00:48:36,639 --> 00:48:39,760
Speaker 6: Challenge it WAS i, mean you guys probably had plenty

1004
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:41,719
of podcasts About laura in her past and.

1005
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:42,599
Speaker 3: Whatnot laura was.

1006
00:48:42,599 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 2: HAVING i don't know what you're talking, About. LAURA i

1007
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,719
know what you're talking, About. JOE i take great offention of.

1008
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 3: That, yeah.

1009
00:48:51,039 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 6: But, No laura was having. Fun laura wasn't really looking

1010
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,400
for a. RELATIONSHIP i wasn't looking for a. Relationship it, says,

1011
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,679
hey you, know we'll go hang, out we'll go to

1012
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,480
life music, together and you, know whatever happens.

1013
00:49:02,559 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 3: Happens just blossomed a new.

1014
00:49:04,599 --> 00:49:08,159
Speaker 5: Relationship, yeah that's, uh that's pretty.

1015
00:49:08,159 --> 00:49:08,519
Speaker 2: Good see.

1016
00:49:08,559 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 4: That we're like that stupid epitome of like things happen

1017
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:16,119
when you least expect, it like neither of. Us, yeah

1018
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:18,159
he was, like BECAUSE i was, LIKE i don't do.

1019
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:22,519
Relationships i'm happily, single and he was, LIKE i would

1020
00:49:22,599 --> 00:49:25,719
never date a single mom just my. Hours and we

1021
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,960
hung out a couple of, times just at sort of

1022
00:49:28,039 --> 00:49:31,320
group outings and it's just.

1023
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:35,760
Speaker 2: Immediate who. Called who oh.

1024
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:41,159
Speaker 6: God it Was New year's AND i went.

1025
00:49:41,199 --> 00:49:42,039
Speaker 3: Home she stayed.

1026
00:49:42,079 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 4: There we didn't even. Kiss we were dancing and we exchanged.

1027
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:47,519
Speaker 3: Numbers SO i went.

1028
00:49:47,559 --> 00:49:51,599
Speaker 6: Home i'm, Drunk i'm, HORNY i Got i'm showing her

1029
00:49:51,599 --> 00:49:52,159
pictures with my.

1030
00:49:52,199 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 3: Dog i'm showing her. Pictures i'm trying to get her

1031
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:58,840
to come. Over, wow it didn't.

1032
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,159
Speaker 2: Happen if you had another word that began WITH d

1033
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:05,599
on your? Camera what he lost?

1034
00:50:05,599 --> 00:50:10,639
Speaker 5: ME i would never send a, picture we know years,

1035
00:50:10,679 --> 00:50:12,159
later SO i don't THINK i wouldn't.

1036
00:50:12,199 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 2: Either but, no SO i did all.

1037
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 6: That it didn't, work and then the next MORNING i was, like,

1038
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,039
huh that's not really. Me i'm reading back through my text.

1039
00:50:21,039 --> 00:50:23,559
Messages SO i apologized to. HER i, said you, KNOW

1040
00:50:24,039 --> 00:50:26,280
i was. Drunk i'm, sorry it's not really HOW i,

1041
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,519
am but you, Know i'd like to hang, out you,

1042
00:50:28,559 --> 00:50:31,199
know and go see some, music and because a lot

1043
00:50:31,199 --> 00:50:32,480
of my friends they don't like to go out and

1044
00:50:32,559 --> 00:50:36,039
listen to. Music and she seemed very passionate and enjoyed,

1045
00:50:36,039 --> 00:50:36,760
it SO i was, like why?

1046
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,559
Speaker 3: Not you, know she was, Pretty SO i apologized to

1047
00:50:39,559 --> 00:50:39,760
her and.

1048
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:42,719
Speaker 6: Whatnot we scheduled a date and she gave me a second,

1049
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:43,719
chance and it just worked.

1050
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 3: Out what did you go?

1051
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:46,519
Speaker 2: See what the?

1052
00:50:46,599 --> 00:50:51,599
Speaker 4: Hell we went and saw dial? Up it was funny

1053
00:50:51,599 --> 00:50:54,039
BECAUSE i was out with some of the gym group

1054
00:50:54,559 --> 00:50:58,119
and it was me And jamie and we met up

1055
00:50:58,159 --> 00:51:01,800
with him And jamie the next morning, goes you're going

1056
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:03,760
to marry that? Man AND i, Go i'm not even

1057
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:08,159
going to date, him and she could just tell from

1058
00:51:08,199 --> 00:51:09,639
that night it was just the three of us that

1059
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:11,679
went and saw, them and we're hanging.

1060
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 2: Out look at, this that's? Great should we take a?

1061
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,599
Moment and then, sure, ASKED.

1062
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 4: I don't, know you, know there's no. Shame the podcast

1063
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,440
has been along for this whole ride of my relationship

1064
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:37,519
with D what didn't when we met AND i told

1065
00:51:37,519 --> 00:51:40,679
YOU i do a. Podcast what did you was your initial? Thoughts,

1066
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,400
OH i don't.

1067
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:44,199
Speaker 3: THINK i had initial.

1068
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 6: THOUGHTS i just didn't realize how often you did, it

1069
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:47,800
or when you did it and.

1070
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:48,639
Speaker 3: Whatnot but.

1071
00:51:50,159 --> 00:51:52,519
Speaker 4: He, said he said he went home that night and

1072
00:51:52,559 --> 00:51:54,079
like googled me On New Year's.

1073
00:51:54,119 --> 00:51:54,280
Speaker 2: Eve.

1074
00:51:54,320 --> 00:52:01,199
Speaker 5: Though, yeah we'll get into this right after. This you

1075
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:04,840
never think you're gonna need a personal injury attorney until you.

1076
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 2: Do it's not something you plan.

1077
00:52:07,079 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 5: For you, know one, minute you're just living your.

1078
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 2: Life do do next?

1079
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:13,079
Speaker 5: Thing you know you're dealing with an accident and, injury

1080
00:52:13,199 --> 00:52:17,079
missed work and a whole lot of stress you didn't ask.

1081
00:52:17,159 --> 00:52:20,920
For and here's the. Truth insurance companies they've got a.

1082
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:26,079
Plan they know exactly what they're. Doing the question is do.

1083
00:52:26,159 --> 00:52:29,599
You that's why if it's, Me i'm Calling connors In.

1084
00:52:29,639 --> 00:52:32,199
Ferris they know the, system they know how to, fight

1085
00:52:32,559 --> 00:52:35,039
and more, importantly they know how to take care of

1086
00:52:35,119 --> 00:52:38,639
people when things get. Messy you're not just a case

1087
00:52:38,679 --> 00:52:41,440
file to. Them they walk you through it step by

1088
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,679
step and make sure you're not getting pushed around when

1089
00:52:44,679 --> 00:52:47,800
you're already. Down so if life throws you one of those,

1090
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:51,000
moments don't try to figure it out. Alone Call connors

1091
00:52:51,079 --> 00:52:55,119
And ferris or visit connorsanferis dot com with offices In

1092
00:52:55,119 --> 00:52:59,000
New York, City, Syracuse, rochester And. Buffalo because when it matters,

1093
00:52:59,039 --> 00:53:02,480
most you want someone in your corner who actually knows

1094
00:53:02,519 --> 00:53:12,000
how to. Win connors In, first what's what's your first

1095
00:53:12,039 --> 00:53:15,440
concert you're going to this? Summer oh that is, Yeah

1096
00:53:15,559 --> 00:53:15,840
i'll be.

1097
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,039
Speaker 4: There, Yeah i'm excited for that.

1098
00:53:18,079 --> 00:53:20,079
Speaker 2: One, yeah me, TOO i am.

1099
00:53:20,119 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 4: Too did you see That dermott just announced a Tour, no,

1100
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:27,840
yeah and so he's coming To syracuse On september twenty.

1101
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 2: Six, wow, yeah, hey.

1102
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:34,119
Speaker 3: Good.

1103
00:53:34,159 --> 00:53:36,840
Speaker 2: Time Well, joe what is your? Music are you a?

1104
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:42,320
Speaker 3: COUNTRY i MEAN i listened to, country but IT'S i don't. Care, yeah,

1105
00:53:42,559 --> 00:53:44,280
NECESSARILY i just like me and around happy.

1106
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:47,320
Speaker 6: People so like the concert with me was just the

1107
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:49,639
vibe of just going out being surrounded by you, know

1108
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,760
thousands of people that are just enjoying the, moment being.

1109
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:54,800
Speaker 3: Happy so that's that's what draws. Me.

1110
00:53:55,079 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 6: Yeah other than that music IS i don't really care about.

1111
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:00,159
LYRICS i, mean if it's got a good melody or

1112
00:54:00,159 --> 00:54:01,559
a good, Beat i'll listen to.

1113
00:54:01,599 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 4: It that's WHY i said On New year's when we

1114
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:05,880
met and we're. Talking he was, like, YEAH i love

1115
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:07,440
to go out to live, music AND i was, like

1116
00:54:07,679 --> 00:54:10,679
so DO I it's my favorite. Thing so that's really

1117
00:54:11,159 --> 00:54:14,639
how we started talking and Planned, okay next time dial

1118
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,159
up or someone good is, playing we'll go meet.

1119
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:20,039
Speaker 2: There yeah, yeah.

1120
00:54:20,079 --> 00:54:24,519
Speaker 5: Wow so When i'm thinking live, Music i'm thinking like a,

1121
00:54:24,639 --> 00:54:25,639
concert but you're.

1122
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 4: Just, YES i love going to. Concerts but we're just

1123
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:32,760
talking local cover. Bands you. Know we we go To

1124
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:37,320
Iron smoke all the. Time three heads just anywhere out

1125
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,119
going and listening to live music is one of our

1126
00:54:40,159 --> 00:54:42,400
favorite things to, do no matter who it.

1127
00:54:42,519 --> 00:54:42,639
Speaker 6: Is.

1128
00:54:43,119 --> 00:54:46,280
Speaker 4: Right, so And i've gotten him to come to. You

1129
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:50,000
do like enjoy country concerts the, most going to, You

1130
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,760
and that's why he had gone to That wildwood festival

1131
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:56,360
a couple of years before he went.

1132
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 2: Solo wait wait what you?

1133
00:54:59,039 --> 00:55:02,280
Speaker 5: Wait you went so all to that big. Festival how

1134
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,000
fucking fun was? That it was a good?

1135
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 3: Time why?

1136
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 6: NOT i mean you meet, people people are, there there's

1137
00:55:07,039 --> 00:55:09,000
theme nights and country music.

1138
00:55:09,119 --> 00:55:12,079
Speaker 3: DRINKING i mean it was a good. Time nobody's going to.

1139
00:55:12,119 --> 00:55:16,360
Speaker 4: That he's my, Person, Like i'm, amazing that is SOMETHING

1140
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:16,800
i would have.

1141
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 5: Done well, yeah, Okay So my question is, like when

1142
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:24,840
you go to this place soul and they have theme,

1143
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:27,639
nights give me a theme, night and did you have

1144
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:31,079
to dress? UP i would be so self, conscious especially

1145
00:55:31,079 --> 00:55:31,519
If i'm by.

1146
00:55:31,599 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 6: MYSELF i, MEAN i guess one of them that they

1147
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,280
do every year Is America, day so everybody just wears,

1148
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,480
red white and blue and stars and stripes and stuff like.

1149
00:55:38,519 --> 00:55:41,039
That so you, JUST i, mean nothing. CRAZY i think

1150
00:55:41,079 --> 00:55:42,280
one of the knights was Like Neon.

1151
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:48,199
Speaker 4: Night Deniman diamonds was one year that you showed that

1152
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:49,960
was another one picture Of Youn.

1153
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 3: Diamonds.

1154
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:52,800
Speaker 5: Denim he's such a big.

1155
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,280
Speaker 4: Guy he gets. Attention, yeah so.

1156
00:55:56,119 --> 00:56:03,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey what, like does that make you? Jealous?

1157
00:56:04,039 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 4: No, NO i love.

1158
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:06,280
Speaker 2: It you love when he gets.

1159
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:10,159
Speaker 3: ATTENTION i don't get. ATTENTION i could See laura gets the.

1160
00:56:10,199 --> 00:56:11,440
ATTENTION i DON'T i could.

1161
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 2: Attention.

1162
00:56:12,639 --> 00:56:16,679
Speaker 3: NO i, MEAN i guess the one time.

1163
00:56:16,559 --> 00:56:19,079
Speaker 6: At the festival we got the video or, whatever there

1164
00:56:19,119 --> 00:56:21,960
was some Girl he's maybe trying to give me some

1165
00:56:22,039 --> 00:56:23,920
kind of. Attention she was looking at me And i'm,

1166
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:24,960
like what the fuck are?

1167
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 3: You, Like i'm with my girlfriend, here what are you?

1168
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 2: DOING i was literally.

1169
00:56:28,159 --> 00:56:30,039
Speaker 4: Standing in front of him and this girl comes up

1170
00:56:30,039 --> 00:56:32,079
like behind him and starts holding him and just like

1171
00:56:32,159 --> 00:56:34,119
dancing with, him and he's looking at me And i'm,

1172
00:56:34,119 --> 00:56:39,400
like but YOU i was just like, whatever like nothing's gonna.

1173
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:47,360
Speaker 5: Happen but, yeah wow The, Yeah, Well laura has talked

1174
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:50,599
about everything on the on the.

1175
00:56:50,639 --> 00:56:53,719
Speaker 2: Podcast You laura's very. Open i'm very.

1176
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 5: Filter, yeah filter, filter and and it's appreciated and it's

1177
00:56:58,039 --> 00:57:00,719
it's noticed and people Like laura for, that.

1178
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:01,519
Speaker 2: And, no they.

1179
00:57:01,559 --> 00:57:05,639
Speaker 4: Do some people don't Like who doesn't Like laura for?

1180
00:57:05,679 --> 00:57:08,960
That i'm just thinking there's some people who have listened

1181
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:11,159
who don't like how UNFILTERED i.

1182
00:57:11,239 --> 00:57:11,400
Speaker 3: Am.

1183
00:57:11,639 --> 00:57:12,480
Speaker 2: No, well.

1184
00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:18,679
Speaker 5: Oh, yes. Man that took me. That that took me a.

1185
00:57:18,679 --> 00:57:21,199
Moment that took me a. Moment, no BECAUSE i was

1186
00:57:21,239 --> 00:57:25,480
thinking of when we were talking About trump the other.

1187
00:57:25,559 --> 00:57:27,559
Day so we got very upset with something you said good,

1188
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:31,360
yeah AND i had To, OKAY i talked. IT i

1189
00:57:31,719 --> 00:57:35,280
didn't talk it. DOWN i just talked around like about

1190
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:37,519
it BECAUSE i think it's one of the biggest problems

1191
00:57:37,559 --> 00:57:38,719
we have today.

1192
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:39,079
Speaker 4: That you can't have.

1193
00:57:39,159 --> 00:57:42,679
Speaker 5: Conversations, well it was more like we're not asking the

1194
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:48,519
question why we automatically draw a dividing line into you're

1195
00:57:48,639 --> 00:57:50,920
on team red or you're on team, blue and what's

1196
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:53,880
your jersey color instead of what's your kind of your

1197
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,440
why your reason for for?

1198
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:57,039
Speaker 4: That we talk about this all the.

1199
00:57:57,079 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 5: Time, yeah AND i AND i think that THERE'S i

1200
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,719
think that that would open dialogue a little bit more

1201
00:58:03,719 --> 00:58:06,320
and maybe some, understanding because.

1202
00:58:07,519 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 2: You, know it's just what came up.

1203
00:58:11,519 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 5: In a podcast THAT i did With doug that will

1204
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:20,000
drop this week is the fact that for many years

1205
00:58:20,079 --> 00:58:22,480
people were dropping out WHEN i was a kid of

1206
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,599
political races because they were found to have an extra marital.

1207
00:58:25,599 --> 00:58:28,280
Affair and a lot of times that was discovered by

1208
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:31,840
the inquirer who people, go you, know Was bigfoot in

1209
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:35,400
The alien. Landing but they had, great great reporters That

1210
00:58:35,639 --> 00:58:38,639
dug Deep, man and there Was Gary, hart and there

1211
00:58:38,679 --> 00:58:41,480
was another GUY i forget his, name and they were

1212
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:45,119
all kind of exposed for this stuff and they. DISAPPEARED i,

1213
00:58:45,159 --> 00:58:48,719
go now we have we've come so. Far and, look

1214
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:52,280
we Got clinton right The White, house that whole thing.

1215
00:58:53,719 --> 00:58:54,239
Speaker 2: And no big.

1216
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 5: Deal and now we've got somebody who was allegedly paying

1217
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,280
a porn star hush, money you know WHAT i.

1218
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,119
Speaker 2: Mean AND i, go it's come.

1219
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,480
Speaker 5: To the point where it just doesn't fucking matter. Anymore

1220
00:59:04,199 --> 00:59:08,239
LIKE i feel like that just doesn't. Matter and so,

1221
00:59:09,079 --> 00:59:12,440
okay so is it the best person for the, job

1222
00:59:12,559 --> 00:59:16,039
is it the? Policy what does? Matter it is kind

1223
00:59:16,079 --> 00:59:18,360
of the, thing and we'll see as time goes on

1224
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,320
what happens with. That but it is. Strange it's just

1225
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:24,400
strange because, well you, guys are are you?

1226
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 2: Political uh? Compatible politically?

1227
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:34,559
Speaker 4: Compatible that's one of my absolutely like no like boundary.

1228
00:59:34,679 --> 00:59:39,920
Breakers But joe is very middle of the. Line, yeah

1229
00:59:40,039 --> 00:59:43,199
She joe sees things from multiple points of. Views And

1230
00:59:43,239 --> 00:59:49,679
i've told, you we've we've had conversations about, it and you,

1231
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:50,639
know you can.

1232
00:59:50,679 --> 00:59:52,559
Speaker 6: Speak WHAT i was going to say is like my

1233
00:59:52,559 --> 00:59:54,480
favorite conversation With, laura AND i say it all the

1234
00:59:54,519 --> 00:59:56,119
time Because i'm not, political.

1235
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:59,079
Speaker 3: But, Laura laura's you, know she aligns the way she.

1236
00:59:59,239 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 6: Aligns but my question To laura always, is you know

1237
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:05,199
she has knowledge she aligns on the left or. Whatnot

1238
01:00:05,719 --> 01:00:08,920
when you talk to somebody who aligns on the, right they're,

1239
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:11,639
smart they have their knowledge, Too so how can.

1240
01:00:11,519 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 3: You say they are totally wrong?

1241
01:00:13,079 --> 01:00:13,559
Speaker 2: Right you.

1242
01:00:13,599 --> 01:00:16,400
Speaker 6: Can't it has to be in the. Middle and SO

1243
01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:18,280
i always, say if your diehard, left you're a. Wacko

1244
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,480
if you're diehard, right you're a. Wacko the truth is

1245
01:00:20,519 --> 01:00:20,679
in the.

1246
01:00:20,679 --> 01:00:25,079
Speaker 5: MIDDLE i OFTEN i would agree with. YOU i think

1247
01:00:25,119 --> 01:00:28,559
that that we get two extremes uncertain, things for. Sure

1248
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:32,880
BUT i just sometimes look even at The Democratic, party

1249
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,760
AND i, Go, god there's so many factions and fractions

1250
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:40,920
and people. Fighting it is very. Disjointed and so that's

1251
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:43,920
the part that bothers. Me and THEN i, go, well,

1252
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:47,800
yeah the pendulum swung to a certain way, right and

1253
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,760
people decided they were pissed off about. That so now

1254
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:53,320
the pendulum swings back and you've got then you, go,

1255
01:00:53,679 --> 01:00:56,679
like here's what comes out of that? STUFF i think

1256
01:00:57,159 --> 01:01:00,519
IS i don't know if you've Watched The manosphere On.

1257
01:01:00,559 --> 01:01:04,679
Netflix so it's about really like kind of right wing.

1258
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:05,719
Speaker 2: Guys there's a guy In.

1259
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:08,159
Speaker 5: Louisiana it's all about their, money it's all about their,

1260
01:01:08,199 --> 01:01:10,559
stuff and they're you, know they're odd YouTube and they're

1261
01:01:10,559 --> 01:01:13,320
preaching it and they show this one guy's like, yeah

1262
01:01:13,519 --> 01:01:16,039
and the wife, says we have our, lanes we have our,

1263
01:01:16,159 --> 01:01:18,079
lanes AND i do you know traditional?

1264
01:01:18,119 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 2: Women?

1265
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 5: Okay and then but he gets to go out and

1266
01:01:22,039 --> 01:01:24,280
if he finds someone he can hook up but she

1267
01:01:24,639 --> 01:01:26,880
has to be monogamous in the.

1268
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:28,599
Speaker 2: Relationship and it's.

1269
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 5: A weird thing to me BECAUSE i, go all, right

1270
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:32,880
but but they're all in there in your.

1271
01:01:32,920 --> 01:01:33,719
Speaker 2: FACE i came from.

1272
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:36,480
Speaker 5: NOTHING i built it up and a lot of, misogyny

1273
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:37,239
a lot of.

1274
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 4: Misogyny and the thing.

1275
01:01:39,599 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 5: THAT i think, IS i think some of that comes

1276
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:45,280
from the fact that we went so far to where

1277
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:47,719
people are pissed off about certain things.

1278
01:01:47,559 --> 01:01:49,599
Speaker 2: They maybe shouldn't, be but they.

1279
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:53,960
Speaker 5: Get pissed off about declaring pronouns or whatever that. Is

1280
01:01:54,519 --> 01:01:57,360
AND i AND i think that's how these things, start

1281
01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:59,760
and then they get attention and somewhere if we were

1282
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:00,199
able to.

1283
01:02:00,159 --> 01:02:02,039
Speaker 2: Keep it in the. Middle you want to change a

1284
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:03,400
change a? Pronoun who gives a?

1285
01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 5: Shit, Right if you're gonna feel, good that's all that really, matters,

1286
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:10,239
Right but the other stuff is like then it becomes

1287
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:13,920
it just becomes like people just yelling at each. Other

1288
01:02:14,039 --> 01:02:15,239
And i'm, like there's no.

1289
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:19,000
Speaker 2: DISCUSSION i like that you guys discuss stuff we do because.

1290
01:02:20,239 --> 01:02:23,239
Speaker 4: But like it's also WHAT i have Told joe is

1291
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:27,039
it's not to me always just left, first right it?

1292
01:02:27,119 --> 01:02:31,360
Is and what when he, says, like how can you

1293
01:02:31,519 --> 01:02:34,599
be smart and be well educated and know your shit

1294
01:02:35,119 --> 01:02:37,199
and believe this and somebody. Else AND i say it's

1295
01:02:37,239 --> 01:02:41,639
because of everyone has different values and, morals and mine

1296
01:02:41,719 --> 01:02:45,320
are very socially. Aligned LIKE i do not believe THAT

1297
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:49,760
i am better than, anyone AND i think everyone deserves,

1298
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:54,760
respect so. Too that is one that is my core

1299
01:02:55,039 --> 01:03:00,840
belief in, life LIKE i will Whether i'm organizing a

1300
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:04,480
three million dollar home and doing a Woman's manolo, blomics

1301
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:07,480
or If i'm working in the inner city with someone

1302
01:03:07,559 --> 01:03:10,800
who has rodent, Problem i'm going to respect these two

1303
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:12,280
people the exact.

1304
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 5: Same and it's called unconditional. Regard, Yeah and it's, really,

1305
01:03:17,079 --> 01:03:20,559
really really hard to do because it's so nice to

1306
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:24,280
maybe slip on a lot of block when they're, yeah.

1307
01:03:25,719 --> 01:03:31,199
Speaker 4: But like you, know other, people they're they're more their

1308
01:03:31,239 --> 01:03:36,239
priority is. Guns some people's priority is their. Face and

1309
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:40,639
so that is how you believe things and what is

1310
01:03:40,679 --> 01:03:44,360
true in your. Regard And i'm okay with everyone having different.

1311
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:47,920
BELIEFS i don't think that one belief is really right versus,

1312
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,800
wrong but it, is and he knows it. Is to,

1313
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:56,639
me the people who support someone who is openly misogynistic and,

1314
01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:59,599
racist and that is WHERE i have a hard.

1315
01:03:59,639 --> 01:04:03,039
Speaker 5: Line, yeah and that's, Fine and there's your. Why, yeah,

1316
01:04:03,159 --> 01:04:05,519
right there's the why that we're talking. About AND i

1317
01:04:05,519 --> 01:04:07,559
think that that's something that a lot of people would

1318
01:04:07,599 --> 01:04:09,599
say is a hard pill to. Swallow would you be

1319
01:04:10,159 --> 01:04:12,320
friends with someone like? That if you had a kid like?

1320
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,239
That would you be trying to correct? THAT i can understand, that,

1321
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:18,159
Right but there's that's exactly What i'm talking, About.

1322
01:04:18,119 --> 01:04:21,480
Speaker 4: Like in him AND i in our, conversations we've talked

1323
01:04:21,519 --> 01:04:25,559
about like OBVIOUSLY i SUPPORT dei and he has been

1324
01:04:25,639 --> 01:04:29,920
LIKE i have not been given promotions where he is

1325
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:32,840
the best. Candidate but he is, white.

1326
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:36,599
Speaker 2: Right and that's also. Right really working in.

1327
01:04:36,599 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 4: A wreck program that is, minority or that white is the,

1328
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:42,559
minority it's.

1329
01:04:42,679 --> 01:04:45,519
Speaker 3: Tough it wasn't really geared towards the rec. Program it

1330
01:04:45,559 --> 01:04:48,039
was more geared towards like law. Enforcement.

1331
01:04:48,239 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1332
01:04:48,719 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 6: Yeah you know if when DE i first came in to,

1333
01:04:53,119 --> 01:04:55,519
play you, know IF i score a ninety ninety five

1334
01:04:55,599 --> 01:05:01,360
on an exam and a MINORITY e, scores you, know

1335
01:05:01,519 --> 01:05:03,280
it kind of snings a little bit, that you, know

1336
01:05:03,360 --> 01:05:05,440
the person with the seventy is gonna get looked at

1337
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:07,639
before the person with the ninety, five just because you

1338
01:05:07,719 --> 01:05:10,880
have a quota To, PHIL i, MEAN i understand we're

1339
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:14,119
all about equal, opportunity but at the same, time it's you,

1340
01:05:14,119 --> 01:05:16,000
know what's that what's that telling the other person, LIKE

1341
01:05:17,079 --> 01:05:17,599
i don't.

1342
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:20,280
Speaker 5: Know, NO i think that that's a problem that a

1343
01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:23,480
lot of people have uh talked about for a, while,

1344
01:05:23,559 --> 01:05:27,920
like you, know who is the best person for the?

1345
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:31,639
Job is that what we really? Want and it was

1346
01:05:31,679 --> 01:05:34,239
sort of WHAT i THINK i was Asking, laura like

1347
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:36,360
if it was a doctor who had big oh, yeah

1348
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:40,440
and he was and he had he was one of

1349
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:43,559
the best surgeons for whatever you needed in the world

1350
01:05:43,639 --> 01:05:45,199
people flew to would you go to.

1351
01:05:45,239 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 2: Him if you found that?

1352
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:49,280
Speaker 5: Out and it's interesting BECAUSE i think a lot of

1353
01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:51,320
people we make these, judgments but is it the best

1354
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:53,440
person for the? Job don't you want the best person

1355
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:53,639
for the?

1356
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:57,239
Speaker 2: Job or not? Necessarily and this is where D i to,

1357
01:05:57,320 --> 01:06:00,639
me is a very slippery.

1358
01:06:00,679 --> 01:06:04,400
Speaker 5: Slope like it was it was certainly needed for, many

1359
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:07,880
many many, years right we had people that had abilities

1360
01:06:07,960 --> 01:06:11,320
and things and trying to lift people up and make

1361
01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:14,199
a more equal. Society and NOW i feel like in

1362
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:17,639
some instances it should almost be readjusted to where you're

1363
01:06:17,679 --> 01:06:23,320
going more especially with education and, Stuff why are we

1364
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:24,599
doing it more on a poverty.

1365
01:06:24,679 --> 01:06:27,679
Speaker 6: Level so that's that's the one THING i always discussed with.

1366
01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:31,880
LAWYER i don't THINK di is anything about black and white.

1367
01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:35,519
Speaker 3: ANYMORE i. Don't if you're, poor you're. Poor if you're,

1368
01:06:35,599 --> 01:06:36,239
rich you're. Rich.

1369
01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:40,280
Speaker 6: Right you, know If African american with money commits a

1370
01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:43,119
crime AND i commit a, crime the guy with money

1371
01:06:43,159 --> 01:06:46,559
is going to get off of the crime the day

1372
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:48,559
potentially you, know a good word, there.

1373
01:06:48,559 --> 01:06:51,599
Speaker 2: No, no but you're, right, right better, lawyer more, money more.

1374
01:06:51,639 --> 01:06:54,280
Speaker 6: Influence, YEAH i mean it's similar WHEN i had my Little,

1375
01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:58,119
shpiel my little d W I i had a. Lawyer

1376
01:06:58,559 --> 01:07:00,440
i'm in a, courtroom you, KNOW i HAVE i suit.

1377
01:07:00,519 --> 01:07:03,119
ON i have a lawyer the whole nine. Yards everybody

1378
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:05,199
else doesn't have a. Lawyer who's the first person they

1379
01:07:05,239 --> 01:07:07,239
talk to? ME i don't have to sit, AROUND i

1380
01:07:07,280 --> 01:07:08,840
don't have to wait BECAUSE i have a. Lawyer, Right

1381
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:11,400
and it's like it's just. Stupid it's all about money

1382
01:07:12,039 --> 01:07:12,719
who has and who?

1383
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:13,119
Speaker 3: Doesn't.

1384
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:17,320
Speaker 5: Right and my thought on that came from looking at

1385
01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:18,360
like The Ivy league.

1386
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,119
Speaker 2: SCHOOLS i Think i've said this, Before.

1387
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,159
Speaker 5: Like you go back to nineteen sixty, eight there were

1388
01:07:22,199 --> 01:07:24,960
twelve black people in all The Ivy league. Everywhere now

1389
01:07:25,199 --> 01:07:28,280
majority of students At harvard identify as other than. White

1390
01:07:28,559 --> 01:07:31,280
not that that's, bad that's, Fine but my point, is

1391
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:36,000
what about trying to expand that. Out because some people

1392
01:07:36,039 --> 01:07:39,480
who are meeting the quota come from well to do,

1393
01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:43,039
families why aren't we also trying to make It so

1394
01:07:43,159 --> 01:07:46,360
there's the kid In. APPALACHIA i, mean have we not

1395
01:07:46,559 --> 01:07:49,440
seen a guy From appalaysia who went on to win

1396
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:50,199
The Nobel Peace?

1397
01:07:50,239 --> 01:07:50,559
Speaker 2: Prize?

1398
01:07:50,639 --> 01:07:55,079
Speaker 5: Yeah or a kid in the. CITY i, mean there

1399
01:07:55,119 --> 01:07:57,320
was always this thing about urban flight for a while

1400
01:07:57,360 --> 01:08:01,119
where somehow the kid gets out out of that environment

1401
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:03,320
and does. It why aren't we helping that? Kid why

1402
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:06,159
aren't we finding those brilliant minds that are in those

1403
01:08:06,199 --> 01:08:09,679
places and not and showing. Them, yeah, man we, noticed we.

1404
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:13,000
Care let's and give them that. OPPORTUNITY i don't know

1405
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:14,880
how that. Works it's easy to sit here and say. Shit,

1406
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,520
Yeah so that's the thing is, like it's easy to

1407
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:20,840
sit here and say that, shit AND i understand, it.

1408
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:25,720
Speaker 4: But it's definitely it's definitely a lot of, money like

1409
01:08:26,399 --> 01:08:31,079
just the. Differentials oh, YEAH i mean when we started Dating.

1410
01:08:32,279 --> 01:08:34,159
Joe the first time he came to my, house he

1411
01:08:34,279 --> 01:08:38,880
like felt uncomfortable because he was, like you live in

1412
01:08:39,119 --> 01:08:39,680
what did you call?

1413
01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:40,680
Speaker 3: Them home alone?

1414
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:42,960
Speaker 6: Houses i'm driving through the neighborhood and home alone, house

1415
01:08:43,039 --> 01:08:45,039
home alone. House, WELL i grew, up you, KNOW i.

1416
01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:46,920
DIDN'T i didn't have a ton of money growing, up

1417
01:08:46,960 --> 01:08:49,960
and my. Parents it seems like when you're lower, income

1418
01:08:50,279 --> 01:08:53,319
lower income people always want to talk crap about people

1419
01:08:53,359 --> 01:08:57,359
who do have money and say they're snooty or snoudy or. Whatnot,

1420
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,319
yeah SO i mean you take that into.

1421
01:09:00,319 --> 01:09:01,319
Speaker 3: Consideration that's HOW i was.

1422
01:09:01,399 --> 01:09:03,960
Speaker 6: Raised and THEN i Meet laura AND i don't know

1423
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:05,600
her from, anything And i'm driving in a.

1424
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:06,399
Speaker 3: Neighborhood it's.

1425
01:09:06,439 --> 01:09:08,359
Speaker 6: Intimidating it's, like you, KNOW i got my little ranch

1426
01:09:08,359 --> 01:09:10,039
on the on the west, side and you know she's

1427
01:09:10,079 --> 01:09:13,319
got this giant house on the east. Side because everybody

1428
01:09:13,359 --> 01:09:15,079
knows there's a stigma between the west and east.

1429
01:09:15,079 --> 01:09:16,319
Speaker 3: Side everybody.

1430
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:18,600
Speaker 2: There.

1431
01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:26,880
Speaker 5: IS i THAT'S i get. THAT i can see, that

1432
01:09:27,159 --> 01:09:29,600
not the stigma so, much but the money. Thing and

1433
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:33,680
then you, KNOW i think one of the things that often.

1434
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:35,439
Speaker 2: Upsets a lot of people.

1435
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 5: That are white is when they hear white privilege, right

1436
01:09:40,039 --> 01:09:42,439
Because i've had guys say to, me, WELL i busted

1437
01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:44,239
my ass to build my, company AND i, Go but

1438
01:09:44,319 --> 01:09:48,600
that's not what white privilege is. About white privileges to,

1439
01:09:48,680 --> 01:09:51,479
me just means the road you got to wherever you

1440
01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:54,640
are had less, potholes you were less likely to be pulled,

1441
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,560
over you were less likely to not be seen for

1442
01:09:57,640 --> 01:10:00,359
a job. Necessarily it's, certain you know What i'm, Saying

1443
01:10:00,359 --> 01:10:04,479
like it just. Did and, yes to your, Point joe

1444
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:07,479
THE dei in certain. Places but like you, know IF

1445
01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:10,439
i knew a lot of, times And i've said, this

1446
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:12,439
AND i have a diversity class That i'm part, of

1447
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:14,199
AND i would say things LIKE i never felt LIKE

1448
01:10:14,239 --> 01:10:16,960
i didn't. BELONG i could walk Into Oak hill OR

1449
01:10:16,960 --> 01:10:19,560
i could walk into a garage with a bunch of

1450
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:22,560
blue collar mechanics and talk, cars AND i never felt

1451
01:10:22,560 --> 01:10:23,399
LIKE i didn't fit in.

1452
01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:25,319
Speaker 2: Anywhere and so that's that's an easy.

1453
01:10:25,319 --> 01:10:27,479
Speaker 5: Thing then they had in one of my classes this

1454
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:29,439
thing where you do a privilege walk and they ask

1455
01:10:29,520 --> 01:10:31,319
you questions like did you grow up in a home

1456
01:10:31,359 --> 01:10:34,640
with a college where at least one parent of guardian

1457
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:35,600
was college?

1458
01:10:35,720 --> 01:10:37,800
Speaker 2: Educated or you, know and on and on from.

1459
01:10:37,840 --> 01:10:40,199
Speaker 5: THERE i was the first one to the, candyball and

1460
01:10:40,239 --> 01:10:44,479
then somebody said there was a young black woman in the.

1461
01:10:44,520 --> 01:10:50,279
Back and somebody, SAID I i was thinking about AND

1462
01:10:50,319 --> 01:10:51,920
i won't say the. NAME i was thinking about this

1463
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:56,479
person and how she felt being way back. There AND i,

1464
01:10:56,520 --> 01:11:00,319
thought and SO i, thought how was she like an

1465
01:11:00,359 --> 01:11:01,359
odd thing to say to?

1466
01:11:01,399 --> 01:11:03,359
Speaker 4: Me but didn't you, say, like OH i?

1467
01:11:03,439 --> 01:11:06,640
Speaker 2: Forgot, NO i, Said i'm so far up, FRONT i

1468
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:08,560
couldn't see. You, yeah that's WHAT i.

1469
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:11,680
Speaker 5: Said but my point Was and THEN i just recently

1470
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,359
had to do a group thing and at the end

1471
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:15,680
that sort of came up, again and that person was

1472
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:18,720
sitting right next to, me AND i, said the one

1473
01:11:18,760 --> 01:11:22,079
thing THAT i walk away from is fuck.

1474
01:11:22,119 --> 01:11:24,720
Speaker 2: It we're all. Here what are you gonna do with?

1475
01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:28,920
Speaker 5: It however you got, here whatever, potholes you, know good

1476
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:32,720
for you for fucking navigating more, Potholes but we're all. Here,

1477
01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:36,039
now what are you gonna do with? It AND i

1478
01:11:36,119 --> 01:11:38,079
and NOW i Think i'm gonna HAVE t shirts when

1479
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:39,720
the semester is to.

1480
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,000
Speaker 2: Say fuck, it we're, here you know WHAT i?

1481
01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:45,239
Speaker 5: Mean only BECAUSE i think that sometimes we start to

1482
01:11:45,319 --> 01:11:48,199
argue for our limitations of whatever that, is and that

1483
01:11:48,319 --> 01:11:50,279
to me is, like, oh we got to push past. It,

1484
01:11:50,359 --> 01:11:53,640
yes there have been, setbacks they should be. Recognized we

1485
01:11:53,680 --> 01:11:56,000
should learn those. Things we should try to make the

1486
01:11:56,079 --> 01:11:58,239
road a little smoother for. PEOPLE i get all, that

1487
01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:00,279
but when you're, here fuck can.

1488
01:12:00,319 --> 01:12:03,560
Speaker 4: Go that is very similar to how you, Think oh, yeah.

1489
01:12:03,560 --> 01:12:07,560
Speaker 6: ABSOLUTELY i MEAN i didn't come from a great. HOME

1490
01:12:08,359 --> 01:12:10,520
i tell every everybody's how did you get to where you?

1491
01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:12,920
Got yoae by doing the opos in my? Parents my

1492
01:12:12,960 --> 01:12:15,279
parents loved, me but LIKE i saw all the negative

1493
01:12:15,319 --> 01:12:17,000
things in my parents' lives AND i didn't want that for.

1494
01:12:17,119 --> 01:12:18,039
Speaker 3: Myself SO i did.

1495
01:12:18,079 --> 01:12:21,319
Speaker 6: THAT i did that nobody else and then that's WHAT

1496
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:24,560
i tell, Everybody Like laura hates, it BUT i had

1497
01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:26,680
a quote THAT i made, up and if you stick

1498
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:28,359
around with your thumb up your, ass all you get

1499
01:12:28,399 --> 01:12:28,840
is a poopy.

1500
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:30,119
Speaker 3: Finger if you want, it go get.

1501
01:12:30,119 --> 01:12:34,279
Speaker 4: It if you want to, go get it a thumb

1502
01:12:34,359 --> 01:12:38,199
sucker or a nail. BIER i mean, true, yeah half,

1503
01:12:38,199 --> 01:12:39,359
Far BUT i, mean.

1504
01:12:39,319 --> 01:12:43,800
Speaker 5: Yeah he's got a, point, Right, yeah, Yeah Well laura

1505
01:12:43,840 --> 01:12:46,680
does it sit on her? Ass, no, jesus she's like

1506
01:12:46,800 --> 01:12:47,880
running all the time doing.

1507
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:48,079
Speaker 3: So.

1508
01:12:48,399 --> 01:12:51,479
Speaker 4: YEAH i think that that in when he realized, Like,

1509
01:12:52,039 --> 01:12:54,119
Okay i'm not a single mom who sits at home

1510
01:12:54,560 --> 01:12:57,520
like he was, Like, okay she's she's. FINE i don't

1511
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:00,359
need to be someone who's home with her every. Night

1512
01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:04,399
THAT i was very much, LIKE i have a very full,

1513
01:13:04,439 --> 01:13:07,880
life very, abundant And i'm like happy with Where i'm,

1514
01:13:07,920 --> 01:13:12,119
At so you don't need to like fulfill. Anything but

1515
01:13:12,159 --> 01:13:15,159
then it was like more THAT i ended up wanting

1516
01:13:15,199 --> 01:13:16,840
to open up space for him.

1517
01:13:16,800 --> 01:13:18,880
Speaker 6: AND i never dated anybody with kids just because my

1518
01:13:18,920 --> 01:13:21,239
work schedule and you, know and the fact That laura

1519
01:13:21,279 --> 01:13:23,359
had her kids fifty percent of the. Time it was, Like,

1520
01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:24,600
OKAY i can dip my toe in.

1521
01:13:24,680 --> 01:13:25,279
Speaker 3: And see how this.

1522
01:13:25,319 --> 01:13:27,720
Speaker 6: Works i'm not just coming in immediately and just you,

1523
01:13:27,720 --> 01:13:29,760
know being that folly figure stepdad.

1524
01:13:29,840 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 3: Role she still has her time to go out and enjoy.

1525
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:33,239
Being you, know.

1526
01:13:34,279 --> 01:13:38,399
Speaker 6: What's the slogan that you like THAT i, said you

1527
01:13:38,479 --> 01:13:39,680
make kids with the wrong.

1528
01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:42,119
Speaker 4: Person, oh you have kids with the wrong person to

1529
01:13:42,239 --> 01:13:45,880
spend time kid free weekends like with the right person or.

1530
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:48,560
Speaker 2: Whatever, yeah, well speaking of kid, free.

1531
01:13:48,479 --> 01:13:51,119
Speaker 5: WELL i hang a hand BECAUSE i am going to.

1532
01:13:51,199 --> 01:13:53,720
Speaker 2: TRANSITION i Have, yeah.

1533
01:13:53,399 --> 01:13:59,000
Speaker 5: BUT i think that this is who you, Are, LIKE

1534
01:13:59,119 --> 01:14:01,920
i think being with, kids is truly?

1535
01:14:02,319 --> 01:14:03,560
Speaker 2: You oh, NO i would.

1536
01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:07,520
Speaker 5: Agree, yeah it sounds like you'll. Be you're very a

1537
01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:10,640
wonderful influence on these. Kids AND i get, it you're

1538
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:13,720
ours and all that, Stuff BUT i mean it sounds

1539
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:16,000
like they just adore, you and that's a great.

1540
01:14:16,039 --> 01:14:21,039
Speaker 4: Thing all the kids adore like not only at his

1541
01:14:21,119 --> 01:14:24,680
work and not only my. CHILDREN i, mean he is

1542
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:28,199
their favorite parent. Figure like they talk about it all the,

1543
01:14:28,239 --> 01:14:32,640
Time luke at their, Friends like we were at A

1544
01:14:33,159 --> 01:14:36,039
nighthawks game the other week And lucas's like two of

1545
01:14:36,039 --> 01:14:40,000
his best friends are Like, Joe, like you, Know lucas's

1546
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:43,640
friends know him more now is. AMAZING i, MEAN i

1547
01:14:43,800 --> 01:14:47,119
was volunteering at school the other day And lucas walked

1548
01:14:47,119 --> 01:14:49,159
in with his friends and they're all, like but Where's,

1549
01:14:49,239 --> 01:14:54,000
Joe like they everyone gravitates towards him because he also

1550
01:14:54,079 --> 01:14:55,199
he interacts with the.

1551
01:14:55,279 --> 01:14:56,479
Speaker 3: KIDS i, Mean i'm still a.

1552
01:14:56,600 --> 01:14:59,000
Speaker 6: Kid i'm never GONNA i got my ears. Pierced i'm

1553
01:14:59,039 --> 01:15:02,319
forty one years. OLD i act immature here and. THERE

1554
01:15:02,399 --> 01:15:04,600
i know how to act serious WHEN i am just.

1555
01:15:04,600 --> 01:15:07,000
Speaker 3: Got to live. Life, man you gotta be. Happy, WELL i.

1556
01:15:07,800 --> 01:15:10,399
Speaker 5: AGREE i often think a lot of times when you,

1557
01:15:10,439 --> 01:15:14,000
know like we can all get bogged down in the

1558
01:15:14,119 --> 01:15:17,239
humanness of our humanness right in a way.

1559
01:15:17,319 --> 01:15:19,520
Speaker 2: That doesn't just, stupid you know What i'm, saying, right our.

1560
01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:24,119
Speaker 5: Humanness AND i often, think like after a good night's,

1561
01:15:24,119 --> 01:15:26,720
SLEEP i, go there's nothing serious going on, here you.

1562
01:15:26,760 --> 01:15:29,479
KNOW i really, believe like you never really get it,

1563
01:15:29,560 --> 01:15:31,279
wrong and you never get it, done and if you

1564
01:15:31,319 --> 01:15:34,039
get it, done it means you're, dead so you. Know

1565
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:36,680
and and the other, THING i just said it to

1566
01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:39,000
somebody the other. Day they, go, well you, know you

1567
01:15:39,079 --> 01:15:42,199
only live. Once AND i, said, True BUT i, say

1568
01:15:42,239 --> 01:15:44,880
you only die. Once get to, living you, know get

1569
01:15:44,880 --> 01:15:46,840
to living because you only die. Once and that and

1570
01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:50,520
that's the part THAT i think is sometimes, lost you.

1571
01:15:50,560 --> 01:15:51,760
Speaker 2: Know but it's.

1572
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:53,840
Speaker 5: Taken me to this ripe old age of WHERE i

1573
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:56,720
am to see life that. WAY i, mean that's that's

1574
01:15:56,760 --> 01:15:58,000
the bad. PART i, Go i'm running out of.

1575
01:15:58,079 --> 01:16:02,159
Speaker 4: Time i'm running out of a. RUNWAY i joke THAT

1576
01:16:02,439 --> 01:16:04,600
i like to be on a plane every other, month

1577
01:16:05,159 --> 01:16:07,159
LIKE i want to be going. SOMEWHERE i want to

1578
01:16:07,159 --> 01:16:09,880
be doing. Something and now we get to do it

1579
01:16:09,880 --> 01:16:11,039
together and it's so much.

1580
01:16:11,079 --> 01:16:13,199
Speaker 5: Fun, Yeah and now that the kids are gone and

1581
01:16:13,279 --> 01:16:15,439
you guys must Have they're gone this, week.

1582
01:16:15,279 --> 01:16:17,199
Speaker 2: Right, yeah for the whole, week the whole.

1583
01:16:17,199 --> 01:16:20,760
Speaker 4: Week, WOW i Know i'll miss, them but will?

1584
01:16:20,800 --> 01:16:27,960
Speaker 2: YOU i, MEAN i MEAN i, missed of, course but

1585
01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:28,600
we get to have.

1586
01:16:28,640 --> 01:16:33,520
Speaker 5: Fun, yeah somebody looks like they got they.

1587
01:16:33,359 --> 01:16:37,199
Speaker 4: Went like around, round you, KNOW i, KNOW i got.

1588
01:16:37,239 --> 01:16:41,159
Speaker 5: Jokes i'm trying to think of like a rabbit, puncher you,

1589
01:16:41,159 --> 01:16:43,199
know Like Manny pakia Rabbit.

1590
01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:45,079
Speaker 4: Joe what?

1591
01:16:45,199 --> 01:16:52,279
Speaker 6: HAPPENED i, fell just like every Domestic, uh, yes, yes

1592
01:16:52,920 --> 01:16:54,319
that Is it's.

1593
01:16:54,399 --> 01:16:56,760
Speaker 3: TRUE i fell his.

1594
01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:59,279
Speaker 5: Eye he came in here and he can't really see

1595
01:16:59,319 --> 01:17:02,199
it because of the way our lighting is.

1596
01:17:02,159 --> 01:17:03,079
Speaker 2: Now which is.

1597
01:17:03,119 --> 01:17:05,640
Speaker 5: Great but he came in AND i knew he was

1598
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:08,039
playing basketball, today AND i thought he got an elbow

1599
01:17:08,079 --> 01:17:10,600
in The ey'm, like, damn only because around the orbit

1600
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:13,920
of your eye is fragile and it could. Break and

1601
01:17:13,960 --> 01:17:16,439
he had it almost looked Like he's, like, oh you

1602
01:17:16,439 --> 01:17:18,560
can see, this And i'm, like see. It it looks like

1603
01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:21,439
it looks like you're in a fucking glam band from the.

1604
01:17:21,479 --> 01:17:25,520
Eighties you got eyeliner is, purple And i'm wanting for

1605
01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:29,079
you to start singing round and round with a rat or.

1606
01:17:29,159 --> 01:17:32,560
Speaker 2: Something i'm, like what is going? On and THEN, I

1607
01:17:33,079 --> 01:17:33,880
i don't know.

1608
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:39,560
Speaker 4: What soon may have hit his head on the headboard last, Night.

1609
01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:43,520
Speaker 2: Oh, well oh we were.

1610
01:17:43,560 --> 01:17:51,199
Speaker 5: Finishing oh man lost his footing and just went, wow

1611
01:17:51,840 --> 01:17:52,199
we were.

1612
01:17:52,079 --> 01:17:54,680
Speaker 4: A little too high up on the. Bed when he came,

1613
01:17:54,760 --> 01:17:58,880
down it was just, punk like damn full weight right.

1614
01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:01,079
On and then we had to go to a dinner party.

1615
01:18:01,279 --> 01:18:03,199
Speaker 2: After, wait this was an early.

1616
01:18:03,319 --> 01:18:05,279
Speaker 4: Room, yeah it was an early. Round we were gonna go.

1617
01:18:05,319 --> 01:18:08,439
EAT i don't want to be all full of food and, everything,

1618
01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:11,199
like let's get it done Through in the, AFTERNOON i

1619
01:18:11,239 --> 01:18:13,760
had just gotten home from, work took a. SHOWER i,

1620
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:17,399
LITERALLY i literally texted him like WHILE i was at,

1621
01:18:17,479 --> 01:18:19,000
WORK i was, like meet me in bed at four.

1622
01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:23,760
O'clock and. Yeah so he showed up to the dinner

1623
01:18:23,800 --> 01:18:28,199
party and people are, like what? Happened what else do you.

1624
01:18:28,119 --> 01:18:28,800
Speaker 2: Guys want me to?

1625
01:18:28,840 --> 01:18:31,039
Speaker 3: SAY i guess we go in a little DO i

1626
01:18:31,079 --> 01:18:31,520
go into the?

1627
01:18:31,560 --> 01:18:34,119
Speaker 2: Details, no you don't have to go to that's tough to.

1628
01:18:34,159 --> 01:18:37,840
You laura watched? It, No laura at.

1629
01:18:37,840 --> 01:18:40,239
Speaker 4: All, No, No i'm so used to.

1630
01:18:40,279 --> 01:18:42,399
Speaker 6: This ora would like to know If i'm the only,

1631
01:18:42,439 --> 01:18:45,600
Person SO i guess put it out there listeners will

1632
01:18:46,159 --> 01:18:46,720
respond to.

1633
01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:47,800
Speaker 2: This, okay so.

1634
01:18:47,880 --> 01:18:53,720
Speaker 6: Great as a, male WHEN i, ORGASM i have very intense.

1635
01:18:53,840 --> 01:18:57,319
ORGASMS i hold on to them to the point WHERE

1636
01:18:57,319 --> 01:19:03,079
i can't and WHEN i release and a good, TERM i,

1637
01:19:03,439 --> 01:19:04,800
uh my.

1638
01:19:04,680 --> 01:19:05,960
Speaker 3: Body tangles like you have a.

1639
01:19:06,000 --> 01:19:07,199
Speaker 2: SEIZURE i like lose.

1640
01:19:07,239 --> 01:19:10,680
Speaker 3: Coordination AND i was having a good time last.

1641
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:10,840
Speaker 2: Night.

1642
01:19:11,439 --> 01:19:14,680
Speaker 6: Feah USUALLY i braced myself or. WHATNOT i JUST i

1643
01:19:14,720 --> 01:19:17,640
didn't brace myself. Yesterday, YEAH i just took a, Tumble.

1644
01:19:17,439 --> 01:19:20,439
Speaker 2: NO i, could uh, yeah or do you convulse a

1645
01:19:20,479 --> 01:19:20,880
little bit?

1646
01:19:20,880 --> 01:19:21,039
Speaker 3: Too?

1647
01:19:21,319 --> 01:19:24,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1648
01:19:26,760 --> 01:19:29,319
Speaker 4: Shake some. Balls so normally when we, FINISH i have

1649
01:19:29,359 --> 01:19:31,560
to be on top so he doesn't fall or else

1650
01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:35,039
he'll fall on top of. Me AND i mean that happened,

1651
01:19:35,079 --> 01:19:37,279
too but that's what was going on last. Night but

1652
01:19:37,479 --> 01:19:39,479
he was JUST i guess we were higher on the. Bed.

1653
01:19:42,960 --> 01:19:47,319
Speaker 2: Dude i'm. Sorry it looks, painful that's. All it looks.

1654
01:19:47,359 --> 01:19:49,159
Speaker 3: Painful it really doesn't.

1655
01:19:49,199 --> 01:19:51,279
Speaker 6: Hurt it was just it was more funny and embarrassing

1656
01:19:51,279 --> 01:19:53,479
because it was literally, like at the same.

1657
01:19:53,319 --> 01:19:55,520
Speaker 3: TIME i, FINISHED i whacked my head and it.

1658
01:19:55,560 --> 01:19:59,520
Speaker 6: Was just just like she's over, there you, know enjoying and.

1659
01:19:59,560 --> 01:20:02,680
Speaker 3: BLISS i got my hands high.

1660
01:20:02,680 --> 01:20:04,239
Speaker 2: Problem she's all.

1661
01:20:04,279 --> 01:20:10,479
Speaker 6: Happy she looks over she's, like oh my, god it's the.

1662
01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:12,560
Speaker 4: Medium there's a. Video one of my friends took the

1663
01:20:12,640 --> 01:20:14,520
video at the dinner party last night because there was

1664
01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:16,920
like six different couples and she had us all doing

1665
01:20:16,960 --> 01:20:19,399
this game where we had to put a cucumber on

1666
01:20:19,399 --> 01:20:21,199
our head and try to get it into our, mouth

1667
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:25,079
and everyone's, like and then you just See joe have

1668
01:20:25,119 --> 01:20:26,640
an ice pass.

1669
01:20:28,720 --> 01:20:28,760
Speaker 5: For.

1670
01:20:29,079 --> 01:20:34,720
Speaker 4: Joe all, Right, hey you know we had a Little saturday. Funnest,

1671
01:20:34,920 --> 01:20:36,520
yeah what's wrong about?

1672
01:20:36,560 --> 01:20:39,760
Speaker 5: That absolutely, nothing, no. Nothing it's just that it's an

1673
01:20:39,800 --> 01:20:41,000
interesting black guy and it's.

1674
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:44,560
Speaker 2: The best black eye Story i've ever. HEARD i fell,

1675
01:20:45,319 --> 01:20:47,479
no BUT i mean that that go with.

1676
01:20:47,560 --> 01:20:50,000
Speaker 5: That BUT i, mean when you get into the, details

1677
01:20:50,079 --> 01:20:52,319
that's a great reason to GET i, Mean i'm, like,

1678
01:20:52,439 --> 01:20:54,800
wow exactly you need you, know what you need to

1679
01:20:54,840 --> 01:20:57,239
do is you need to buy one of those pool,

1680
01:20:57,279 --> 01:20:59,319
noodles cut it in half and just put it over.

1681
01:20:59,159 --> 01:21:01,880
Speaker 4: The edge of THE i, know but it's Heaven like we're,

1682
01:21:01,880 --> 01:21:04,920
like if we're standing or anything towards the, end we

1683
01:21:05,039 --> 01:21:08,960
always have to plan it out because you can't just.

1684
01:21:09,119 --> 01:21:10,279
Drop it's like.

1685
01:21:10,239 --> 01:21:13,920
Speaker 3: An elephant hit with a. Tranquilizer it's just that's what it.

1686
01:21:14,039 --> 01:21:20,880
Speaker 2: Is Oh, god that's, Phenomenal. Joe that's the. Best that's the.

1687
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:26,039
Best i've enjoyed the conversation. Overall that we save this

1688
01:21:26,079 --> 01:21:28,039
for the last but, really, man.

1689
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:32,840
Speaker 5: INSIGHTFUL i THINK i see the big heart you're talking,

1690
01:21:32,840 --> 01:21:38,239
about and what a wonderful thing you're. Doing AND i

1691
01:21:38,279 --> 01:21:41,880
hope you find something that fulfills all that for. You you,

1692
01:21:41,760 --> 01:21:43,960
KNOW i really do that that gives you all. That

1693
01:21:44,239 --> 01:21:46,279
AND i love the fact that he's, saying you, KNOW

1694
01:21:46,399 --> 01:21:50,880
i haven't had a, family so Now i'm retired from

1695
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:54,800
getting screamed at by over zealous dads on the. Sideline,

1696
01:21:54,840 --> 01:21:55,399
well we said.

1697
01:21:55,439 --> 01:21:58,800
Speaker 4: It maybe he'll go back down To Roughing High school.

1698
01:21:59,039 --> 01:22:04,920
Speaker 5: Eventually so, yeah well when the boys are, right if they, yeah, yeah,

1699
01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:06,760
WHATEVER i don't right, now he.

1700
01:22:06,800 --> 01:22:08,560
Speaker 4: Just gets to wear that pinstripe suit around.

1701
01:22:08,600 --> 01:22:16,439
Speaker 2: Me oh, really flagging the play seven minutes For, roughing.

1702
01:22:17,920 --> 01:22:21,199
Speaker 5: Seven inches For, ROUGHING i don't, know all, right For

1703
01:22:21,800 --> 01:22:25,359
joe The, Man For, Laura I'm Bill.

1704
01:22:25,399 --> 01:22:27,279
Speaker 2: Moran we'll see you next. Time