Speaker 1: I think before we give second chances, you have to
Speaker 1: see receipts. A lot of women would be saved by
Speaker 1: men coming back into their life just to do the
Speaker 1: same thing that they did which was the cause of
Speaker 1: them breaking up. A lot of women would be saved
Speaker 1: from this if they asked for change behavior and receipts
Speaker 1: and being more intentional before they committed to the second chance. Baby,
Speaker 1: before you commit to the second chance, you tell him
Speaker 1: show me what's gonna be different. Not tell me show
Speaker 1: me what's gonna be different. I want to see it
Speaker 1: with my own two eyes. So if he's committed to
Speaker 1: making this long distance things work when he was originally
Speaker 1: not open to the long distance and he kind of
Speaker 1: freaked out about it, he should be on the plane
Speaker 1: Jet Blue, United American Southwest Delta Pick one Frontier. Did
Speaker 1: I say that, pick one? If he's now committed to
Speaker 1: the long distance and he's gonna do everything to make
Speaker 1: it work, see the receipts. Hey, y'all, welcome back to
Speaker 1: there to see it. I know y'all noticed my little
Speaker 1: I know you notice the set change.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I really want y'all to know that I am committed
Speaker 1: to my episodes when I don't have an episode and
Speaker 1: I have to take a break or there's some type
Speaker 1: of mishap and I'm not able to get an episode
Speaker 1: out to y'all, it makes me very very very sad.
Speaker 1: So we've had some scheduling things happening, and I said,
Speaker 1: I'm not going without an episode. We're gonna do it
Speaker 1: in my house. Please don't know, Please don't ever say
Speaker 1: I never did anything for y'all. Please don't ever say
Speaker 1: I'm not committed to my craft. Okay, we're doing it, baby,
Speaker 1: right here in my living room. So take a seat,
Speaker 1: get into it. Okay, get czy. Anyways, anyways, anyways, anyways,
Speaker 1: all right, So we have some subscription reminders. Follow dear
Speaker 1: to see a podcast on Apple and Spotify and leave
Speaker 1: a five star review, not two, not three, baby, not four,
Speaker 1: five star review on Apple and Spotify. Then I want
Speaker 1: you to subscribe to my channel. Shout out to ten
Speaker 1: thousand followers, y'all. I knew it would get that. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you this, sometimes people don't get you. Gotta
Speaker 1: have some gritting, you, right, you gotta have you gotta
Speaker 1: be able to climb the mountain. You gotta have My friend,
Speaker 1: you said this, the other day he said, you gotta
Speaker 1: have your arm, your palm on the plow. Okay, you
Speaker 1: gotta be willing to do it to work. And you know,
Speaker 1: it took us a little It took us a little while.
Speaker 1: But I am so glad that we are here. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am so glad that we are here. Let's see closer.
Speaker 1: I think that's better. Okay, y'all. Now, y'all bear with
Speaker 1: me because you know this is my first time basically
Speaker 1: filming myself. So bear with me, right, Gotta adjust, gotta adjust,
Speaker 1: all right. So thank y'all so much for ten thousand subscribers.
Speaker 1: We're hoping to hit twenty k. Now, so tell your friends,
Speaker 1: and tell a friends and tell a friend. If you
Speaker 1: are enjoying dear to see a please like, subscribe, comment
Speaker 1: on my YouTube channel the videos. I'm always in the comments,
Speaker 1: so please please please continue to do that. Okay, y'all.
Speaker 1: I want to get into this is actually one of
Speaker 1: my favorite parts because I always am so grateful that
Speaker 1: y'all are watching, right, and that y'all actually leave reviews.
Speaker 1: I don't think we talk about that as creators and
Speaker 1: as leaders in this space. That man like the engagement
Speaker 1: is so amazing. Right, So here's one of my reviews,
Speaker 1: five star pod. Oh have you already talk to me? Nice? Okay?
Speaker 1: Mia Orlando said five stars. If you're not listening, you
Speaker 1: need to be to see it speaks nothing but facts,
Speaker 1: nothing but facts. Use what she says and you'll upgrade
Speaker 1: your life. I look forward to Monday every week. Ah.
Speaker 1: That blessed me. That bless me. Now I'm not telling
Speaker 1: you what I heard. I'm telling you what I know,
Speaker 1: and this podcast absolutely will upgrade your life period. Now
Speaker 1: we're gonna jump on into our voicemails. Y'all, let's jump
Speaker 1: on into our voicemails. The title of it is he
Speaker 1: changed his mind about long distance, then came back two
Speaker 1: weeks later. All right, let's.
Speaker 2: See dare to see it. I'm gonna try to make
Speaker 2: this queak because I would really love to hear from you.
Speaker 2: I started talking and getting to this guy three months ago.
Speaker 2: For reference, we are both in la twenties, long distance
Speaker 2: to four hours by the way, and we were not
Speaker 2: sexually active. He has made efforts to travel to me
Speaker 2: within the three months, and we've spent several days hanging
Speaker 2: out three months. In one the new he asks if
Speaker 2: I want a relationship, I said yes. Then specifically, if
Speaker 2: I would want a relationship with him again, I said yes.
Speaker 1: Of course, up.
Speaker 2: Until this point everything was going well, the communication and intention,
Speaker 2: so this took me by surprise. Later on that same day,
Speaker 2: he said he wanted to talk to me, and basically
Speaker 2: he said he was thinking logically and that he was
Speaker 2: having issues committing to being long distance because when he
Speaker 2: did it with the girl from his past, it took
Speaker 2: a toll on him having to find a place to
Speaker 2: stay by, food to eat, and pay for a flight,
Speaker 2: and he wants to be able to take care of
Speaker 2: his lady. He also said he wouldn't be happy in
Speaker 2: a long distance relationship. He would love to be with
Speaker 2: me basically because everything else checked out for him.
Speaker 3: Just that.
Speaker 2: I was understanding a bit because he has been looking
Speaker 2: for a job, but also confused with everything going well
Speaker 2: up until that, and confused because he didn't try to
Speaker 2: have a conversation about that before springing that on me.
Speaker 2: A conversations were more soul planning for future meets and trips.
Speaker 2: I in no way expected him to do all the
Speaker 2: work by hisself, and with everything he was telling me,
Speaker 2: he didn't really say outright, but he kept saying that
Speaker 2: it was hard to commit, but he would still love
Speaker 2: to continue to get to know me. Said my farewells,
Speaker 2: and I cut him off. Two weeks later, he calls.
Speaker 2: He's saying he's sorry, he's had time to think, he's
Speaker 2: made a mistake. He loves her, and he was worried
Speaker 2: about getting hurt. He wants to be with me.
Speaker 1: I asked what.
Speaker 2: Would be the difference with being in a long distance
Speaker 2: relationship now. He said he's willing to do whatever it
Speaker 2: takes and that something will have to plan. So honestly,
Speaker 2: I believe I have my answer because I'm not to
Speaker 2: be playing with but I love to hear what you think.
Speaker 1: Let me say this first of all, Bravo, bravo, because
Speaker 1: the way that you handle this is baby, that's to
Speaker 1: see away all day. When a man tells you where
Speaker 1: he stands with you, when he tells you what position
Speaker 1: he wants to play in your life, everything after that
Speaker 1: must must follow through accordingly, right. And the way that
Speaker 1: you handled that was that he said that he didn't
Speaker 1: know what he wanted to do and where he wanted
Speaker 1: to be with you, and he had so many things
Speaker 1: going on, and you said, thank you for sharing that
Speaker 1: with me. I'm cool off of you. And the important
Speaker 1: part is that when he circles back around, because they
Speaker 1: always do, right, he circled back around. Ladies, set your
Speaker 1: boundaries and make them firm and strong. When you set
Speaker 1: boundaries and you are in a position when you communicate
Speaker 1: to a man, I'm good if you do, I'm good
Speaker 1: if you don't. These men are so attracted to that
Speaker 1: it's almost like they it becomes another challenge for them.
Speaker 1: Right when a man is telling you that he needs
Speaker 1: space or that he doesn't know if it's going to
Speaker 1: be a fit, and then you need an explanation or
Speaker 1: you want to ask him why not this, or why
Speaker 1: why didn't you tell me this? Baby? You handled that
Speaker 1: so smooth, You should do exactly what this young lady did.
Speaker 1: She basically was like, thank you for sharing that with me.
Speaker 1: That is not in alignment with what I want right now,
Speaker 1: and she walked away and guess who came back around
Speaker 1: two weeks later. Bravo, baby, bravo. Now I'll answer your
Speaker 1: actual question at him. Your actual question at hand is
Speaker 1: more so, what to do now that he's come back
Speaker 1: in these two weeks. Let me say this. I think
Speaker 1: before we give second chances, you have to see receipts.
Speaker 1: A lot of women would be saved by men coming
Speaker 1: back into their life just to do the same thing
Speaker 1: that they did which was the cause of them breaking up.
Speaker 1: A lot of women would be saved from this if
Speaker 1: they asked for change behavior and receipts and being more
Speaker 1: intentional before they committed to the second chance. Baby. But
Speaker 1: before you commit to the second chance, you tell him,
Speaker 1: show me what's gonna be different. Not tell me. Show
Speaker 1: me what's gonna be different. I want to see it
Speaker 1: with my own two eyes. So if he's committed to
Speaker 1: making this long distance things work when he was originally
Speaker 1: not open to the long distance and he kind of
Speaker 1: freaked out about it, he should be on a plane
Speaker 1: Blue United American Southwest Delta Pick one Frontier. Did I
Speaker 1: say that? Pick one? If he's now committed to the
Speaker 1: long distance and he's gonna do everything to make it work,
Speaker 1: see the receipts. You should tell him that you are
Speaker 1: grateful that he communicated his emotions to you. You are
Speaker 1: open to staying in connection with him, and I would
Speaker 1: like to see how it would be different before I commit.
Speaker 1: Give me the receipts. I want to see. Give me
Speaker 1: the receipts. I don't want to give you a second
Speaker 1: chance unless I see the change behavior. And so it
Speaker 1: sounds like you're slightly open to it. And I actually
Speaker 1: like how he held himself accountable and he was vulnerable
Speaker 1: in telling you. Damn, babe, I freaked out. I freaked out.
Speaker 1: I got a little scared, right, And now I really
Speaker 1: really really want to commit. Now I'm thinking about this.
Speaker 1: Now I really want to see I think that was awesome,
Speaker 1: and I think that this is a case where I
Speaker 1: would grant a little grace because again, we're not going
Speaker 1: into this foolishly right. We don't have to have our
Speaker 1: guards up because we're gonna see the receipts first. Tell
Speaker 1: him thank you for your vulnerability, Thank you for feeling
Speaker 1: safe enough for to share that with me. I am
Speaker 1: open to connecting with you, but I would like us
Speaker 1: to continue getting to know each other, and I would
Speaker 1: like for you to show me that you are committed
Speaker 1: to a longestant relationship right now. Voicemail number two. This
Speaker 1: one is entitled Let's see. This one is entitled my
Speaker 1: date has a gay roommate? Should that be a red flag,
Speaker 1: let's listen to it? Should that be a red flat?
Speaker 3: Dared to see him. I started dating this guy that
Speaker 3: I met off of a dating app. But I am
Speaker 3: a single mom. He is a single dad, which worked out.
Speaker 3: When we met up. We had a great time. The
Speaker 3: only thing that I am concerned about is that he
Speaker 3: does have a roommate. He sees his child like three
Speaker 3: days out of the week. It's a great profession and
Speaker 3: all the things, but he definitely has a gay roommate.
Speaker 3: He actually thought it was something that bothered me, and
Speaker 3: I immediately acted him, well are you gay? And he
Speaker 3: was like no, of course, not da dada, And clearly
Speaker 3: I'm like, he has a son, you shouldn't be gay, right,
Speaker 3: But then I started asking about future plans and he
Speaker 3: said that he was looking for a new apartment with
Speaker 3: this same roommate. I thought that his situation was circumstantial
Speaker 3: because of the loss of his mom and him just
Speaker 3: needed to find a roommate at the time. However, him
Speaker 3: wanting to go and get a new apartment with this
Speaker 3: guy is kind of sketchy for me, and I really
Speaker 3: don't know how to bring it up. When I asked him, like,
Speaker 3: what are your planning in a year or two. He
Speaker 3: said he wants to find his person and find his
Speaker 3: wife and move in and create a family like that.
Speaker 3: But I am truly turning fear out if I should
Speaker 3: just stop talking him, cut it off, or also and
Speaker 3: if having a gay roommate is a new deal breaker
Speaker 3: for me, because now I don't know what you guys
Speaker 3: are doing at night and what is going on. But however,
Speaker 3: this could also be a straight guy that is literally
Speaker 3: just has a gay roommate. He told me he just
Speaker 3: completely likes the dynamic between two roommates. And I understand
Speaker 3: how hard it is to find a good roommate, but
Speaker 3: I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: So let so let me say this. I think that
Speaker 1: you have not insinuated that you pick up any kind
Speaker 1: of non straight heterosexual vibes from him, right. I think
Speaker 1: that if you didn't know who his roommate was and
Speaker 1: that he was a gay male, you would probably have
Speaker 1: no issues with this situation at all. Given that, right,
Speaker 1: I think that this actually shows that he is open minded,
Speaker 1: that he's liberal, that he's progressive, that he sees the
Speaker 1: hardened people, that he is somebody that can coexist when
Speaker 1: his lifestyle doesn't meet the other persons. I think that
Speaker 1: this is actually a very green flag. I do not
Speaker 1: believe in walking into a situation with reservations and paranoia,
Speaker 1: and I give people a clean slate. I think that
Speaker 1: in this economy and this political climate, this actually shows
Speaker 1: that this person is very open minded. And let me
Speaker 1: tell you where it's going to be beneficial in your relationship.
Speaker 1: You want somebody who is open minded, not somebody that
Speaker 1: is you know, bends on what they they believe, but
Speaker 1: someone that is open minded and that can understand people's
Speaker 1: perspective and understand people's lifestyle even though it has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with them, right. I think that that's actually
Speaker 1: a great flag. I think that you know he already
Speaker 1: has a child, right, I think you said, y'all both
Speaker 1: for single parents. So this shows that he is agile.
Speaker 1: This shows that when you have kids with that man,
Speaker 1: and that child maybe doesn't want to go to college,
Speaker 1: is queer of any sort, right, that doesn't go into
Speaker 1: the career field that his parents want he or she
Speaker 1: their parents wanted them to. That this is a This
Speaker 1: is a man who is going to be open minded
Speaker 1: and that understands that everybody has their walk of life,
Speaker 1: their different walks of life. I personally think that it
Speaker 1: is a complete green flag to me, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: I think that it also will rear its head in
Speaker 1: your relationship and in a good way, because there are
Speaker 1: going to be times where you don't agree. There are
Speaker 1: going to be times where you are on two separate
Speaker 1: sides of the fence about this. I think the lifestyle
Speaker 1: that he's living shows that he could meet in the
Speaker 1: middle of the role right, that he can choose the
Speaker 1: bigger thing at hand without getting into the weeds and everything.
Speaker 1: But you need a man like that that comes into
Speaker 1: play when you are in a relationship and you think
Speaker 1: that it's big and he thinks that it's small, when
Speaker 1: you think that it's not important and he thinks that
Speaker 1: it is important. Right. It shows that he has a
Speaker 1: vast perspective on life and he's able to coexist when
Speaker 1: things are not in direct alignment with him. It also
Speaker 1: shows that he is not he is not afraid to
Speaker 1: be to even be in this perspective he told you.
Speaker 1: It shows that he's not someone who is going to
Speaker 1: be kind of bullied into being called gay or anything
Speaker 1: like that. He knows what that could insinuate. And he
Speaker 1: stood on that and he said, and I'm about to
Speaker 1: move with him again. I'm about to move with him again.
Speaker 1: I think that that shows that he's able to make
Speaker 1: connections and have great friendships. He's able to withhold and
Speaker 1: living with somebody is not hard, is not easy, right,
Speaker 1: It's actually has it's very nuanced, and it has a
Speaker 1: lot of different dynamics and layers. And so he's been
Speaker 1: able to be on a schedule with somebody, He's been
Speaker 1: able to share a key in a dwelling with someone,
Speaker 1: He's been able to monitor noise and and working all
Speaker 1: of these things with someone. Right, This is something that
Speaker 1: I think will lead into him being a leader, him
Speaker 1: being a team player, him being someone that you that
Speaker 1: is reliable as well. Right. I think think that there's
Speaker 1: also a lot of green flags that are in this situation.
Speaker 1: And again, you never insinuated that you picked up any
Speaker 1: kind of vibes that would insinuate or that would make
Speaker 1: you think that he was anything other than a straight man. Right,
Speaker 1: I think it's a green flag. Personally, I think it's
Speaker 1: a green flag. That's what I was trying to say.
Speaker 1: He thinks it shows that he's secure. Why couldn't I
Speaker 1: think of that. I had a brain fart. It shows
Speaker 1: that he's secure in his masculinity. Now, could there be
Speaker 1: other things going on or going or or around doing
Speaker 1: They could be doing things, could be, could be, but again,
Speaker 1: never veer on the side of paranoia. Could there be
Speaker 1: something going on, maybe they've experimented, maybe they're in the math.
Speaker 1: It could be, but I personally think that that's maybe
Speaker 1: a ten percent chance. I think the ninety percent chance
Speaker 1: is that this is a man who is secure in
Speaker 1: his masculinity. This is a man who knows how to
Speaker 1: coexist with people, and a man who really can be
Speaker 1: exist in outside of his comfort zone. He can exist
Speaker 1: outside of spaces that are not quite in alignment with
Speaker 1: who he is. And I think that's quite sexy. Honestly,
Speaker 1: if you ask me, I think it's quite sexy. AnyWho.
Speaker 1: I hope that helped you. I really hope that helped you. Okay, y'all?
Speaker 1: Voice smail number three. It's entitled how do I tell
Speaker 1: him I still live with my parents? How do I
Speaker 1: tell him I still live with my parents? Let's hear
Speaker 1: it there to see. Uh, how do you tell a
Speaker 1: god that you're dating that you still live with your parents.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you this. They're you gotta make sure
Speaker 1: you're in good company. You telling a man that you
Speaker 1: still live with your parents should be an easy lay
Speaker 1: for the right man. Why are you still living with
Speaker 1: your parents, You're trying to save money, you are going
Speaker 1: through a transition, whatever the case may be. That should
Speaker 1: be something that is palatable for a man to understand
Speaker 1: and know, and if he a real one, he'll take
Speaker 1: you up out of there. Okay. It should be absolutely positively,
Speaker 1: it should be absolutely okay for you to share with
Speaker 1: the man that you still are living with your parents.
Speaker 1: For example, my sister is now living with me. If
Speaker 1: I met a man today, I would never would I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have a problem saying that my sister, Me and
Speaker 1: my sister live together. I wouldn't have a problem saying
Speaker 1: that because I know that this is in a transition, right.
Speaker 1: I think that you have to be pay attention to
Speaker 1: how that person handles that type of information, because I
Speaker 1: think that you should be looking for a man that
Speaker 1: is resourceful, that's looking to problem solve, that wants to
Speaker 1: build with you, right, and so you should never also
Speaker 1: have the posture of being embarrassed to share vulnerable things
Speaker 1: about something about yourself if it's with the right person.
Speaker 1: You don't want to have that type of guilt and shame.
Speaker 1: You want to have such a transparent relationship with a
Speaker 1: guy that you're dating or someone that you're interested in,
Speaker 1: that you're able to say, I live with my parents
Speaker 1: right now. It could have been that you already had
Speaker 1: apartment before and you went through a transition, you lost
Speaker 1: your job, and then you move back with your parents.
Speaker 1: It could be that maybe you even never left your
Speaker 1: parents' house, right. But I personally don't believe that women
Speaker 1: and men have the same We don't have the same standard, right.
Speaker 1: I think that a woman could very well be living
Speaker 1: with her parents and it may be one of one
Speaker 1: of those for a man living with his parents. I
Speaker 1: just don't think that we have the same standards. And
Speaker 1: I think that a man that really cares about you
Speaker 1: is gonna swoop in and help you. So why be ashamed?
Speaker 1: Why be ashamed to tell a man that you're living
Speaker 1: with your parents? You see, women like to throw around
Speaker 1: ego in the same way, and I always call it
Speaker 1: thump Wallat's right, What is that going to communicate to
Speaker 1: a man that you don't have your own apartment. I
Speaker 1: think that it's actually an opportunity for him to assist
Speaker 1: and to help. If that's not his thing, then cool,
Speaker 1: that's not his thing. But I don't think that you
Speaker 1: should be embarrassed or ashamed that you live with your parents.
Speaker 1: I think that you could be going through a lot
Speaker 1: of things and also you having your own and being
Speaker 1: all independent. It's really just not your currency in life.
Speaker 1: Be exactly who you are. It's not your job to
Speaker 1: prove to a man that you you got it, how
Speaker 1: he got it. I don't got it, high you got it?
Speaker 1: Now you're gonna help me? Or what I don't have it,
Speaker 1: how you got it. I'm working on myself. I'm in
Speaker 1: a transition. This is this doesn't stop me from being patient, kind, nurturing, understanding, empathetic.
Speaker 1: It doesn't. It doesn't stop me for doing any any
Speaker 1: of those things. Right. But if you're looking for a
Speaker 1: man to and and I'm saying this because there's a
Speaker 1: difference in it when you're talking about women and men.
Speaker 1: When you're looking for a man to provide, to protect
Speaker 1: and things like that, having stability does matter. As a woman.
Speaker 1: You could just be flapping around right and you don't.
Speaker 1: You do want to have it together right, but we
Speaker 1: don't have the same standard. Sometimes you just need to
Speaker 1: help in hand, and I feel like a real one
Speaker 1: is gonna step in and make sure that you're straight. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that's just how it works with being a woman.
Speaker 1: And I didn't make the rules. Okay, I didn't make
Speaker 1: the rules. I think that at times it could be
Speaker 1: a little sketchy if a man isn't living on his own.
Speaker 1: But as a woman, that don't mean nothing. What does
Speaker 1: that say about you? What does that say about you?
Speaker 1: You still living with your parents, girl, That's why you
Speaker 1: were born. Okay, you still living with your parents, meaning
Speaker 1: you have parents that support you, parents that support your dreams,
Speaker 1: parents that support your transitions, parents that support you, and
Speaker 1: you can always go back home when things ain't quite right.
Speaker 1: Sounds like a good deal to me. If a real
Speaker 1: man would be looking at that as a value add
Speaker 1: he will be looking at that like, Wow, this woman
Speaker 1: comes from great stocks. That's what I would think. I
Speaker 1: don't see anything as a woman that living with your
Speaker 1: parents would still kind of take it down a little bit.
Speaker 1: I think it honestly may weed out the men. That's
Speaker 1: because you know they always ask you do you live alone? Look,
Speaker 1: go ahead and weed out the predators, okay, weed out
Speaker 1: the men that don't have good intentions and only trying
Speaker 1: to smash and dash, right, okay them the ones. It
Speaker 1: probably is a good idea that you share with this
Speaker 1: person that you still live with your parents. That means
Speaker 1: he already know what's up, right. I don't think there's
Speaker 1: anything wrong with the baby. Don't be scared at all. Actually,
Speaker 1: it's a great test. Tell him and you can be
Speaker 1: very transparent parent and tell him why it is that
Speaker 1: you still live with your parents. And I think any
Speaker 1: reasons that you that you give should be okay for
Speaker 1: the right kind of man. And I said what I
Speaker 1: said about that. Okay, on to our to see a
Speaker 1: you Smell Good segment' y'all feel the rebranding, right? Do
Speaker 1: you feel the rebranding? Yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah, stay down
Speaker 1: all right? Okay, So y'all, I went on the cutest
Speaker 1: date this past week, okay. And we went to the gym,
Speaker 1: then we went shopping at blooming Dell's, and then we
Speaker 1: went to lunch. But anyways, y'all, look, somebody was feeling
Speaker 1: generous and I got this beautiful beauty fragrance that I
Speaker 1: tested and blew me Dale's, y'all. And this is Louis
Speaker 1: the fourteenth, seventeen twenty two d Vanage. And this is
Speaker 1: from Zir, y'all. So this is like a rose kind
Speaker 1: of fragrance. I smell this already, but I'm very excited
Speaker 1: to open it, y'all. It's boxed so pretty. It's boxed
Speaker 1: so pretty, y'all. Okay, let me show, y'all. Is too good.
Speaker 1: It is too good, and I'm so excited, so excited.
Speaker 1: All right, y'all. It's so pretty. It's so pretty in
Speaker 1: this box. It's so pretty. Alright, Okay, baby, come on
Speaker 1: out now. Sometimes you just gotta take it apart, all right. Ooh, y'all.
Speaker 1: It's so soft and padded. It's so soft and padded. Okay, okay, y'all.
Speaker 1: So this is the beauty here. It's so soft and padded.
Speaker 1: This is the beauty here, y'all. Here it goes. This
Speaker 1: is from Er, y'all. This is from This is from y'all.
Speaker 1: How stunning is that this like it came with like
Speaker 1: velvet suede paper on top, y'all. Look at this beauty.
Speaker 1: Look at this beauty. Look at this beauty. It is gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous,
Speaker 1: look at this beauty. Okay, okay, let's read the notes.
Speaker 1: The notes are champagne, grapefruit, plum, saffron. The heart of
Speaker 1: the fragrance consists of lavender, hazel nut, but coffee, rose,
Speaker 1: and cocoa, settling on a base of sandalwood, white musk, cash, marion, cash, marion, leather,
Speaker 1: and incense. Don't that sound like a rich girl fragrance?
Speaker 1: That that sounds like bougie bourgeois. Okay, sounds so elevated, y'all.
Speaker 1: Even he smelled it on me, because, y'all, he was like,
Speaker 1: you want something? Never ask me that, baby, He said,
Speaker 1: you want something out of here? Yes, I do, he was.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna go to the fragrance countor
Speaker 1: He's like, okay, i'll see you later. By the time
Speaker 1: he came back, he said, did you figure out what
Speaker 1: you wanted? I was like, he was like, yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, baby.
Speaker 1: Never asked me. I said, you know the fragrance counter is.
Speaker 1: He said, I'll get you one huh. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you this, y'all. I did not I did not
Speaker 1: spare his pockets. Hold on, I did not spare his
Speaker 1: pockets because I'm just a girl. I picked something that
Speaker 1: was moderately expensive, ky, moderately expensive. It it it was Yeah,
Speaker 1: it wasn't like break the bank, but the bank was broken.
Speaker 3: You know that.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. It wasn't like are you crazy?
Speaker 1: But it was given like, yeah, set the tone. Okay,
Speaker 1: set the tone, because I don't ever want you to
Speaker 1: think you could go get me some somebody missed. Okay. Anyways, anyways,
Speaker 1: tap to connect, tap to connect? Does that mean it's
Speaker 1: is there some type of QR code in here? Anyways?
Speaker 1: Let's give this a spray? Huh, y'all. It it's honestly,
Speaker 1: seriously so good. I left Bloomingdale's with so many like
Speaker 1: test strips of different fragrances, and you could smell this
Speaker 1: on me six hours later? Can you smell it over there?
Speaker 1: Can you smile at them? I was asking my sister
Speaker 1: because she smell it. This is so feminine and ladylike.
Speaker 1: It is so soft and elegant, y'all, y'all, I think
Speaker 1: that the Seals associates said that this was a new release.
Speaker 1: Don't don't quote me, don't quote me on that, but
Speaker 1: I think it was actually a new release. Hmmm, let
Speaker 1: me tell y'all this, Hey, it is so gorgeous. I
Speaker 1: will I want to like paint a picture. This is
Speaker 1: like just think pink, think delicate, think fresh, think elegant, classy.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about just genuinely rich and luxury. This could
Speaker 1: be honestly a stunning wedding fragrance. Okay, this could be
Speaker 1: a stunning wedding fragrances. Wedding fragrance, think, think big ticket event.
Speaker 1: But it has to be something relaxing. It's giving nap
Speaker 1: a valley, right, it's giving a winery that type of vibe. Right,
Speaker 1: too good to be true, baby, happy, Okay, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you the boy, Okay, thank you to that man.
Speaker 1: All right. Happy to add our good syst to my collection.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: I can actually smell spell it right now. I've be
Speaker 1: still smelling on my arm.
Speaker 3: All right now.
Speaker 1: Books the book's trying to fall child. Anyways, I can't
Speaker 1: stop smelling. Whoo, whoo, whoop. It is too good, y'all,
Speaker 1: It is too too too good. I I I seriously
Speaker 1: can't stop smelling it. I I can't stop smelling it. Okay, y'all,
Speaker 1: we were on We are on to our red flag report. Okay,
Speaker 1: red flat report. This is so funny because my producer, Dre,
Speaker 1: he's just texting me and he's like, did you add
Speaker 1: where you're able to record any issues? Are you able
Speaker 1: to record? I'm recording, okay, I'm recording on my own
Speaker 1: on my god know on that sound anyways, that's courts Mine,
Speaker 1: that's Crisp, Miss Shelle Child. What happened to christ What
Speaker 1: happened to that girl? Anyways? God bless her? Or think
Speaker 1: she got black ball for supporting he Trump rally? Yep, yep, yep,
Speaker 1: that's what happened to her. Other I said, do you
Speaker 1: think she's doing like weddings or something? She said, she
Speaker 1: she's kind of famous. She's still famous to be doing
Speaker 1: weddings and a background singer top stuff. I said, baby,
Speaker 1: where is the girl her album? No Skips, No Skips?
Speaker 3: You know what?
Speaker 1: Paul? So, I was telling my sister that there was
Speaker 1: a We were listening to Tony Braxton in the car
Speaker 1: and I said, y'all, there was a period of time
Speaker 1: when there was a train of R and B girls.
Speaker 1: Y'all remember when it was Fantasia, it was Kay Michelle,
Speaker 1: it was Tamar Braxton, it was Melanie, Fiona, it was
Speaker 1: I said, it was Chrissette, Michelle, it was all of
Speaker 1: the girls, all other girls, and we had like a
Speaker 1: two to three year gap and then came Jazz and Sullivan.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 1: Man, that was a good time. That me, Melanie, Fiona, Chrissette, Michelle,
Speaker 1: fan Taja, Tamar Braxton. Huh that this period that was.
Speaker 1: That was a good old time. That was a good
Speaker 1: old time. Okay, that was a good old time. Okay,
Speaker 1: y'all our red Flag report the crush Recession? Are we
Speaker 1: losing the ability to fall for people? A new conversation
Speaker 1: about modern dating is going viral following a recent article
Speaker 1: titled Dating Apps in Valentine's Day, A Study of Modern
Speaker 1: Dating Culture, published February twenty, twenty twenty six. According to
Speaker 1: the report, many singles are experiencing what some are now
Speaker 1: calling crush recession. The term describes a growing trend where
Speaker 1: people say they rarely develop genuine romantic interests in others anymore.
Speaker 1: The conversation started after a viral video from a young
Speaker 1: woman in the UK who admitted she hadn't had a
Speaker 1: real crush in years, she said, I don't even find
Speaker 1: anyone a tract of anymore. I don't even know what
Speaker 1: my type is. The video quickly gained one hundred thousand views,
Speaker 1: with thousands of people agreeing in the comments that dating
Speaker 1: today feels exhausting, disconnected, and discouraging. The article suggests several
Speaker 1: reasons behind it. I'm interested to see what the several
Speaker 1: reasons are because I have my own theories. Okay. One
Speaker 1: of the biggest factors is dating fatigue. Dating a fatigue.
Speaker 1: Many single say modern dating has become a repetitive cycle
Speaker 1: of endless swiping, superficial conversations, and short lived connections that
Speaker 1: rarely develop into real relationships. Instead of building genuine attraction,
Speaker 1: many people find themselves stuck in situationships, or talking stages
Speaker 1: that never progress. The report also points out points to
Speaker 1: the lack of real life connection. While people are constantly
Speaker 1: connected online, they are in interacting with people in person
Speaker 1: less than previous generations, which makes it harder for natural
Speaker 1: attraction to develop Over time. Repeated disappointments and dating can
Speaker 1: lead to what researchers call dating pessimism or hetero pessimism,
Speaker 1: which people begin to believe success successful relationships are rare
Speaker 1: or unrealistic, and the emotional impact can be significant. A
Speaker 1: survey sighted in the article found that over fifteen million
Speaker 1: young adults say Valentine's Day negatively affects their mental health,
Speaker 1: often being often because it highlights feelings of loneliness or
Speaker 1: failed relationships. At the same time, broader statistics show a
Speaker 1: major cultural shift. Marriage rates in the US have declined
Speaker 1: by fifty four percent between nineteen ninety nine and twenty
Speaker 1: twenty two, suggesting that fewer people are forming long term
Speaker 1: partnerships than previous generations. Some experts believe financial distress, financial stress,
Speaker 1: dating apps, and declining social interactions are all contributing to
Speaker 1: what may now call many may call a modern loneliness epidemic,
Speaker 1: with Gen Z reporting the highest levels of loneliness despite
Speaker 1: being the most digitally connected generation. Here's my thing, y'all. Okay,
Speaker 1: they're so First of all, that was long. That was long.
Speaker 1: That was a mouthful. Okay, here's my thing.
Speaker 3: There are.
Speaker 1: There's absolutely dating fatigue, Okay, y'all. I just read this.
Speaker 1: In nineteen sixty there was a study done on mice.
Speaker 1: They put four male mice and four female mice in
Speaker 1: in this cage. Now, they gave them the ultimate crime environment.
Speaker 1: They had unlimited food, they had water, they had all
Speaker 1: the things so they didn't have to go search or
Speaker 1: hunt for anything or find stuff. It was literally the
Speaker 1: most perfect environment that mice could be in. Everything was
Speaker 1: provided three ninety nine. Okay, the mice began to mate,
Speaker 1: and they like, what's the word, they reproduced over and
Speaker 1: over and over and over and over again. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about what started as eight mice became hundreds and thousands
Speaker 1: of mice. Do you know that after I forgot how
Speaker 1: long of time, the mice stopped mating and eventually died.
Speaker 1: So basically, the scientists said that the reason for this
Speaker 1: is that the male mice became overstimulated. They became like
Speaker 1: less engaged because they had such a quantity of female
Speaker 1: mice running around, they lacked connection the innate Like I'm
Speaker 1: talking about innate kind of characteristics of mating and matching
Speaker 1: with each other. And you know what I said when
Speaker 1: I read this, I said, sounds just like social media, right,
Speaker 1: sounds just like the illusion that men have more options
Speaker 1: than they have because they can see more options online.
Speaker 1: We now have access to more we have more visibility
Speaker 1: and more ways to connect than ever before. So I
Speaker 1: absolutely agree that men are now desensitized to natural, authentic connections.
Speaker 1: I think that they have less of the pursuit to
Speaker 1: connect with women in real life. I think that men
Speaker 1: are also have had more vulnerable spaces to really communicate
Speaker 1: their emotions about rejection, about fear, about not feeling adequate,
Speaker 1: which then results in how do I say this, more
Speaker 1: of a pull for understanding from women, which then leads
Speaker 1: for women to make up the slack. Okay, now that
Speaker 1: women have now that men have a microphone and a
Speaker 1: space to talk about these things, they now are able
Speaker 1: to leverage vulnerability. They're now able to talk about emotions
Speaker 1: and feelings, which now honestly makes women have to fill
Speaker 1: in the slack a little bit. They now have to
Speaker 1: present themselves and be in proximity and start conversations and
Speaker 1: make the first wipe I E. Bumble. Right, They're now
Speaker 1: having to connect more because men are being more open
Speaker 1: and honest about where they are in life. Right. I
Speaker 1: think that dating apps can be helpful, but it also
Speaker 1: has lowered r IQ. Okay, I was just sharing the
Speaker 1: other day that I used to work a job where
Speaker 1: I was in childcare and I would have to type
Speaker 1: the reports. I would audit daycarees for the government, and
Speaker 1: I had to type these reports where I had to
Speaker 1: report on what I saw at that daycare right and
Speaker 1: with that, I was typing, type and typing every single day.
Speaker 1: Because I stepped away from that job, I'm noticing that
Speaker 1: I'm not as quick of a type of a typer.
Speaker 1: I'm not now. Granted, my nails are a lot longer,
Speaker 1: and I I know that that has contributed to what
Speaker 1: y'all I need to cut these things down. My nails
Speaker 1: are a lot longer, but I'm noticing now that I'm
Speaker 1: not as fast, and it's because I'm not flexing that muscle.
Speaker 1: I'm not utilizing that skill as often as I have
Speaker 1: been in the past. I think it's the same thing
Speaker 1: with these men. Okay, they are becoming weaker in that
Speaker 1: department and talking about something. We don't want to be rejected.
Speaker 1: We don't want to be rejected. They're becoming weaker in
Speaker 1: that department because they're not flexing that muscle. They now
Speaker 1: can slide in your DMS, they can meet you on
Speaker 1: the app. Hell, they'll even meet you in person, connect
Speaker 1: with you on ig and instead of texting or call
Speaker 1: on you, they send you a message or start liking
Speaker 1: your stories and your pictures. So I absolutely positively agree.
Speaker 1: I'm actually very shocked to find out that the we've
Speaker 1: dropped fifty four percent in marriages. And see this is
Speaker 1: actually feeds beautifully into this conversation because it's the idea
Speaker 1: and the perspective that everything is happening more. If you
Speaker 1: were to ask me, I would be like marriage has increased.
Speaker 1: Why Because I'm saying a whole bunch of marriages on
Speaker 1: the internet. What in culture has increased significantly? But it's
Speaker 1: not because it is because apparently statistically it isn't it's
Speaker 1: not because it is. It's because that's what I see,
Speaker 1: and that's what I'm focused on. I just had a
Speaker 1: conversation with this about this with my girls Chad that
Speaker 1: whatever you focus on is what you will see. There
Speaker 1: was a study where they did look for something blue
Speaker 1: in the room. Everybody looked for something blue, and they said,
Speaker 1: I saw that bottle was blue, that cup is blue.
Speaker 1: They picked out all the blue things and then they said,
Speaker 1: now can you tell me what was pink in that room?
Speaker 1: And nobody, nobody knew because why they were focused on
Speaker 1: what was blue. What you focus on is what you
Speaker 1: will see. And I genuinely, I genuinely think that I
Speaker 1: have probably just been focused on marriage more. Marriage is
Speaker 1: all in my ether. I'm putting that on me. I'm
Speaker 1: sending that into the universe. For me, marriage was just
Speaker 1: is just in my ether. So I am saving more,
Speaker 1: saving more. Wedding ideas is more on my algorithm. But
Speaker 1: I genuinely thought that we were getting married more when
Speaker 1: actually we're being We're getting married half as much. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know that was from that was
Speaker 1: supposed to be from nineteen ninety something to twenty twenty two.
Speaker 1: I want to check the status now.
Speaker 2: I just I just can't believe that.
Speaker 1: I just can't believe that. But what I will say
Speaker 1: is that there are a lot of deficits that we're seeing.
Speaker 1: There aren't. The thing is that And I'm only gonna
Speaker 1: speak to heterosexual relationships, right, everybody's included here, Okay, I
Speaker 1: love all people. I'm just gonna talk about what I
Speaker 1: know the most right. Men and women are not on
Speaker 1: the same page. Okay. I think what has happened and
Speaker 1: has created this huge deficit is that men men got
Speaker 1: their money first, and then women weren't allowed to work,
Speaker 1: and there was this whole push to be for equity
Speaker 1: and inclusion and equality right, and then women were able
Speaker 1: to work at the same time men. There was a
Speaker 1: huge break and gap for black men in particular, you
Speaker 1: got the crack phase, you got a mass incarceration, right,
Speaker 1: So then there was a dip, and then now women
Speaker 1: are still up, and then men are kind of coming up,
Speaker 1: coming up now. And what I feel like is that
Speaker 1: we're never in the same place at the same time.
Speaker 1: Either men are down and the women are up, and
Speaker 1: the men not down and the women are up, or
Speaker 1: the women are up, and it's we're never there at
Speaker 1: the same time. And so I think that those gaps
Speaker 1: have still kind of pushed us into different spaces and times.
Speaker 1: And now you're seeing a lot of modern a lot
Speaker 1: of a lot of modern couples trying to to to
Speaker 1: to make it all equal, right, to make it way.
Speaker 1: You're seeing a lot of men that are now baby
Speaker 1: doing that housework because everything is unequal, right, so in
Speaker 1: order for you to leverage what used to be men
Speaker 1: going out and working and women saying in the house.
Speaker 1: Now it's not quite the same, because women are earning
Speaker 1: and earning more and significantly more at times. Now. Now
Speaker 1: men are picking up that town, they're picking up that mop.
Speaker 1: They're cooking, okay, picking up them pops and pans, and
Speaker 1: they're cooking to leverage that difference. And I think that
Speaker 1: we're seeing that a lot with these couples, y'all, a
Speaker 1: lot with these couples. We're trying to make up the gaps.
Speaker 1: And I actually think that it may be and we
Speaker 1: may be closing in on a space where not just y'all,
Speaker 1: this fragrance smells God, it's so good that we're closing
Speaker 1: in the gaps of not just men and women being
Speaker 1: more on a financial on the same page financially, but
Speaker 1: also black men and men in particular are going to
Speaker 1: therapy more. We're seeing a lot more emotional intelligence and
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot more emotional maturity. We're also
Speaker 1: seeing women melts down and more of their feminine energy,
Speaker 1: and also holding themselves more accountable for what, more accountable
Speaker 1: for the role that they've played in the breakdown of
Speaker 1: the black family. Okay, I think we're actually closing in
Speaker 1: the gaps on that so long story short, I absolutely
Speaker 1: agree that there's a disconnect. I absolutely agree that we
Speaker 1: are desensitized to real life connections.
Speaker 2: And.
Speaker 1: I have hope that we are going to finally land
Speaker 1: in the same place at the same time and to
Speaker 1: close that gap. We did good, y'all. Let's look new
Speaker 1: set who this may not stick around for long, y'all,
Speaker 1: but like I did it. Aren't y'all proud of me?
Speaker 1: I did it. I filmed myself in my own space. Okay,
Speaker 1: I did not, you know, skip a week because we
Speaker 1: were having you know, some you know, some little little
Speaker 1: technical difficulties or you know, just a setup issue, right,
Speaker 1: meaning that you know, just the schedules in the line.
Speaker 1: I did it. I did it. Are y'all proud of me?
Speaker 1: I am committed to building dear to see you to
Speaker 1: be a huge, huge, huge brand in platform, and I
Speaker 1: am excited. I am excited, y'all. Thank y'all for rocking
Speaker 1: with me, for going through the ups, the downs, the
Speaker 1: rounds and the rounds. Okay, thank y'all for rocking with me.
Speaker 1: And I'm really I'm really proud of myself. Anyways, I'll
Speaker 1: see y'all next time. See you later. Bye.
Speaker 3: Down