Speaker 1: M let me finish. This is the first time I
Speaker 1: committed a hate crime.
Speaker 2: Maybe they'll jerk my dick off or something like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably we've disgusted. I'm associate bath any thrashed relationship,
Speaker 1: any trash ship.
Speaker 2: You're a worst friend.
Speaker 1: Do you want to know why you're all fucked up?
Speaker 1: Just look at the fucking problems you hang around with.
Speaker 1: You're listening to your Worst Friend with Shane and Matt.
Speaker 2: I'm Mat.
Speaker 1: I'm joined today by my friend and co host Shane.
Speaker 2: Oh guys, I'm Clay. First.
Speaker 1: You don't understand how bad you already sound that when
Speaker 1: you fucking pull your face apart like you were quote
Speaker 1: unquote Clayface, the character from Batman. Have you been watching
Speaker 1: The Penguin at all?
Speaker 2: By the way, what the fuck would I watch that for?
Speaker 1: Okay, see it sounds bad when you touch the mic.
Speaker 2: Why would I watch that show about the Penguin?
Speaker 1: Go to your Worst Friend dot com follow us everywhere
Speaker 1: on Twitter and Instagram at worst friend cast Patreon dot
Speaker 1: com worst Friendcast. You're gonna get a bonus episode every
Speaker 1: week access to everything ever recorded, entirely commercial free. I
Speaker 1: watched the first episode of that Penguin show.
Speaker 2: I should have called it the Blunkin it was.
Speaker 1: It was actually pretty good.
Speaker 2: I liked it.
Speaker 1: Did I just saw your text that just says fuck
Speaker 1: with a thousand US and four hundred c's.
Speaker 2: And a bunch of k's.
Speaker 1: Thanks for that, Thank you?
Speaker 2: Yeah for sure? Why Why is the Penguin interesting as
Speaker 2: a show?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Is there even Batman?
Speaker 1: It's not. It just wasn't horrendous. It was and it
Speaker 1: wasn't as let's put it this way, it wasn't as
Speaker 1: bad as other uh DC properties lately. I'll put it
Speaker 1: that way, like, what did you see? How much? Fucking man?
Speaker 1: All right? Do we need to discuss your new pen?
Speaker 1: First of all? Because I didn't bring that up last week?
Speaker 1: I didn't know if you want me talking about it?
Speaker 1: Shall we not talk about it?
Speaker 2: What about my new pid?
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is?
Speaker 2: So I could smoke weed?
Speaker 1: I know, I know, people, you blew it right into
Speaker 1: the mic.
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do? Just not breathe?
Speaker 1: But what is it used to have? Some big you're
Speaker 1: hitting at every other breath?
Speaker 2: Man? Well, I'm just trying to get all the weed
Speaker 2: out of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right? What is this thing?
Speaker 2: It's like this thing. It's got a little ceramic tip.
Speaker 2: You touch the tip to your concentrate, heats the concentrate,
Speaker 2: sucks up the little tube. You fucking suck the smoke
Speaker 2: in your lungs, and then that creates a chemical change
Speaker 2: inside your brain that makes you smart. It makes you
Speaker 2: better at fucking at least.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, yeah, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 2: My best when I just lay there and let him
Speaker 2: do what he wants.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I got a couple of videos here
Speaker 1: for you. We're gonna start off with a transactivist. No,
Speaker 1: this is not hey, let's come down on trans people.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, fine, then got this freak out? All right,
Speaker 1: you're right. I need to be more tolerant. I need
Speaker 1: to be more accepting. Yes I do. I really do.
Speaker 1: I feel like I do.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna be I feel like you're kind of
Speaker 2: a pussy with that stuff lately.
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm just gonna try and be more accepting, more loving,
Speaker 1: more caring. I'm gonna agree with what these people say
Speaker 1: because they know what's best.
Speaker 2: Right, Maybe let's see see what they think. No, just
Speaker 2: agree with this person wholeheartedly. All right? Yeah, Well, I
Speaker 2: see I didn't see the dress. Now that I see
Speaker 2: their fucking fashion and style choices, I'll wholeheartedly agree with them,
Speaker 2: just on principle.
Speaker 1: So do you remember last year, a couple of years
Speaker 1: ago something like that, there was the trans person that
Speaker 1: went to the salon. No, what is it called when
Speaker 1: you get your fucking asshole and pussy waxed?
Speaker 2: Oh, the fucking vegetician, yeah, magician vegician yeah yeah, uh,
Speaker 2: this trainee, the magic vegician.
Speaker 1: They went there and they were like, I'm a woman,
Speaker 1: I need to get my balls waxed. And then the
Speaker 1: people there were like, no, we no wax balls.
Speaker 2: We know do that? Well, okay. I remember having some
Speaker 2: pushback on that because my wife was had a cosmetology license,
Speaker 2: and I mean, if you open your own business, you're
Speaker 2: free to set the rules, right, but like in cosmetology school,
Speaker 2: it's like you got to wax everything like dick balls, asshole,
Speaker 2: pussy nipples, armpits, Like you got to learn how to
Speaker 2: wax all this shit. You got to get all up
Speaker 2: in every fucking orifice for every gender, because that's what
Speaker 2: that's what you need to get your license, you know,
Speaker 2: that's what it's required to have your actual license to
Speaker 2: practice practice cosmetology, at least in the state. So that's
Speaker 2: why they teach that curriculum. And then the bitch who
Speaker 2: used to wax my balls an asshole. I mean she was,
Speaker 2: she was a chick, and she pretty much only whax dudes.
Speaker 2: And well, you know, we asked her, like, do you
Speaker 2: ever have weird guys coming in here and being freaks?
Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, every once in a while, but I
Speaker 2: just you know, I get my gun out of my
Speaker 2: bag and tell them to leave.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, but see, just a separate point. That
Speaker 1: was funny.
Speaker 3: I give you that.
Speaker 1: But some people might say that actual thing and be like,
Speaker 1: I'm serious, like it makes me nervous. I don't not
Speaker 1: comfortable blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: And yeah, that's that's the right. As a business owner, those.
Speaker 1: People's discomfort should also be taken into account. So I
Speaker 1: will I will put a correction. They went viral, right,
Speaker 1: because actually they did get bottom surgery.
Speaker 2: You see, Oh that's hot. I like how it's all
Speaker 2: like square. I like how different shades or colored square.
Speaker 1: That's oh see though, like what a fence, I like
Speaker 1: those fat person legs when you start getting the black marks.
Speaker 1: I learned what that is. What I was scared I
Speaker 1: was going to get that if I was too fat,
Speaker 1: And that's one of the reasons I started losing weight.
Speaker 1: I was scared of getting that. That's like early pre
Speaker 1: diabetes stuff. That's like your skin cells something with a melanoma.
Speaker 1: They're getting too much but not releasing or they're doing something.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but it's not a good sign. When
Speaker 1: your fucking skin starts turning, you start doing a reverse
Speaker 1: Michael Jackson, I mean it makes you cooler. Don't get
Speaker 1: my hats.
Speaker 2: Just a big fat guy I had that black skin
Speaker 2: on his legs and they called it jocketch.
Speaker 1: No, that's not jockech. Those there stretch marks.
Speaker 2: Well, everyone's got stretch marks a black but.
Speaker 1: I will not be posting a link to this in
Speaker 1: the episode description. Uh, you're gonna want to just look
Speaker 1: up Jessica yaniv y A n I V those are
Speaker 1: I told you I looked that up. That's a fat marks,
Speaker 1: I would call them, and these are stretch marks, also
Speaker 1: known on men as fat marks as well.
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you were gonna say tiger stripes.
Speaker 1: Tiger stripes. Uh, all right, so you you know, you
Speaker 1: agree business owners should be able to but it's okay
Speaker 1: to you know, this person should be.
Speaker 2: Heard, and you know, yes, I also already committed one
Speaker 2: hundred percent to whatever this person in the beautiful brown
Speaker 2: and purple and brown and gold dress said. Okay, henigger, nigger, nigger,
Speaker 2: fuck you. I have a picture of your kid on here,
Speaker 2: by the way, I want to see you like that
Speaker 2: like that. Okay.
Speaker 1: Context context is this is the reporter, Drea Humphrey, an
Speaker 1: African American, African Canadian potentially woman because this is rebel news.
Speaker 1: I'm not and I thought that, lady, do you have
Speaker 1: an African accent?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, let's say, why would that justify it at all?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because then she would be But if not, she's
Speaker 2: just fucking Canadian. You don't have to acknowledge. Oh wait,
Speaker 2: does that mean the same thing up there?
Speaker 1: Maybe not. Maybe it's a different context.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe yeah. Maybe it's just like what they call their.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's like how we have ham and then they
Speaker 2: have Canadian bacon. Here there's reporters and there there's the
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say it. Sure, I almost let
Speaker 2: it slip out when I said report and artists because
Speaker 2: I was like thinking, like I was getting it ready,
Speaker 2: I was gunning it up. But I was like, oh no, no,
Speaker 2: I can only say that in Canada.
Speaker 1: When we were kids, my dad used to call reporters Canadians.
Speaker 1: It's kind of ironic. He'd be like, like, we'd go
Speaker 1: down the beach and he'd be like, God, damn, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of Canadians down here. I see. Canadians never
Speaker 1: throw their trash away. There's little chip bags everywhere because
Speaker 1: of the Canadians. Stuff like that. Let's hear her accent.
Speaker 1: At the Surrey Provincial Courthouse, I have my bodyguards by
Speaker 1: my side. I'm going to be bringing you a She
Speaker 1: could not have been Canadian. Yeah, so that was again.
Speaker 1: I'm not making any point about why this person shout
Speaker 1: at these things, but this person definitely had their opinion.
Speaker 1: And a picture of that girl's child on their phone.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm wondering, Like, is she coming out of
Speaker 2: the police station because she was just raping the reporter's
Speaker 2: child or something, and they she's out on bail right now,
Speaker 2: Like why does she have these pictures? And why do
Speaker 2: they give her the phone back?
Speaker 1: Let's see years ago, Yan I went viral internationally over
Speaker 1: her legal campaign against women's salons that went it Wax
Speaker 1: yan Vin's men and j Male Jenna person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh but they have a pussy now.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh so, so just go get wax and stop calling
Speaker 2: people reporters.
Speaker 1: What the fuck I'm thinking this. I'm thinking this person
Speaker 1: had some other kind of legal trouble, though.
Speaker 2: I'm hinking so too. I mean, they they did mention
Speaker 2: that they have pictures of children on their phone, children
Speaker 2: that are not their own.
Speaker 1: That generally leads to a prison time or at least
Speaker 1: talking to the police at the police station.
Speaker 2: Come on, man, it looks like remember on the Drew
Speaker 2: Carrey Show there was the me me me me, Yes, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it looks like MEMI, yeah.
Speaker 1: Mimi dropping the N word. That's that's a rough one.
Speaker 2: Something I didn't know I needed until I saw it.
Speaker 1: Let's see, I don't know. I got a couple of
Speaker 1: longer ones. Let me play this quick one here. I
Speaker 1: don't know what this guy's fucking deal is, but he
Speaker 1: speaks to an entire generation of people that feel the
Speaker 1: way I do.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, start dressing his way.
Speaker 1: He's got a cool plaid is that sear sucker? I
Speaker 1: don't even know.
Speaker 2: He's got a plaid blazer, but.
Speaker 1: Like pastel plaid a little bit but fancy, not trashy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But then the hat, it's like, it's like the
Speaker 2: kind of thing you would wear in a Cormick McCarthy novel.
Speaker 1: He's got a ten thousand gallon hat and he's he's
Speaker 1: smoking a sig though, that's pretty cool. He's burning one down.
Speaker 1: That does make him look cool. He relates to how
Speaker 1: I feel every day though, So I want to play
Speaker 1: this club.
Speaker 4: Although the way I see it, twenty first century has
Speaker 4: nothing to offer me. It's absolute hell every single second.
Speaker 4: Just hey, every second I'm awake. So if I can
Speaker 4: just avoid the twenty first century, just completely get it
Speaker 4: out of the picture entirely, I'm doing a good thing.
Speaker 1: What about the modern age makes it unbearable to you?
Speaker 4: Well, everybody's an idiot. You can't do nothing without somebody
Speaker 4: giving you a hard time. Fun is pretty much entirely illegal.
Speaker 4: There's no air of planes where you can smoke with
Speaker 4: the lingerie lunches.
Speaker 1: Ain't none of that anymore.
Speaker 4: There's an absolute lack of any sense in the general population.
Speaker 4: Everybody's just crummy, walking around looking like freaks. I don't
Speaker 4: care for them one bit. Sound these parts is pretty
Speaker 4: much one of the only places north of the Mason
Speaker 4: Dixon you'll find any single person with any defining characteristics whatsoever.
Speaker 4: Do you have no idea how difficult it is to
Speaker 4: have an actual conversation around he The people are no good.
Speaker 4: They're no good whatsoever. The Internet's a bad place for
Speaker 4: bad people. They can all scram.
Speaker 1: Let me, let me alone, he answered with they can
Speaker 1: all scram. I agree with this.
Speaker 2: Ah, scram such a good word. I got to use
Speaker 2: that more.
Speaker 1: I was in I was in wah Wah the other
Speaker 1: day and I was I was ordering gene sandwich and
Speaker 1: I was getting something else. I forget what else, And
Speaker 1: from behind me it was like, I, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: take stolen valor here and say I know what it's
Speaker 1: like for a school shooter. Okay, I'm not gonna steal.
Speaker 2: Valid for the shooter themselves.
Speaker 1: Or I had a Tim Waltz moment there. Uh No,
Speaker 1: I am not friends with any school shooters, and I
Speaker 1: was not putting myself in their their footsteps. That wasn't
Speaker 1: a shot at Tim Watz. He said that, And I
Speaker 1: think it.
Speaker 2: Was just a miss I remember that. Yeah, he makes mistakes.
Speaker 2: It happens, just like all politicians. I'm in wah Wah
Speaker 2: and I'm ordering on the little kiosk now the time.
Speaker 2: By the way, you asked earlier off the air wah
Speaker 2: Wah versus Quick check sandwich. Do you have anything even
Speaker 2: reminiscent of that out there? Is there like a like
Speaker 2: circle k or like any of those place. It's like
Speaker 2: a almost kind of a deli convenience store, go ahead,
Speaker 2: like a deli convenience store, but they also make sandwiches,
Speaker 2: you know, So there was there was one place like that.
Speaker 2: So there's a couple of good sandwich shops, but not
Speaker 2: as many as back home, but there was one place.
Speaker 2: And yeah, it was one place that was similar to
Speaker 2: the quick check huah Wah style where it was a
Speaker 2: gas station slash mini mart slash sandwich shop, and it
Speaker 2: was Deli Town sandwich fucking at the mobile What was
Speaker 2: it inside the chevron station? Yeah, Deli Town, And I
Speaker 2: think it still exists, but it's different owner now, and
Speaker 2: it's kind of like you see, I explained it to
Speaker 2: my wife. It's like when we first went there. We
Speaker 2: went there a few times, and the sandwiches were so
Speaker 2: fucking good, and it was I was like, this is
Speaker 2: just like wah wah, you know, so fucking good. And
Speaker 2: then this new guy took over, and not only was
Speaker 2: he an asshole and stingy with the portions, but the
Speaker 2: food just wasn't good anymore. Just stop tasting good. I
Speaker 2: don't know if he switched ingredients or some shit, but yeah,
Speaker 2: just turned into quick check. It happened. It was the
Speaker 2: full evolution of the gas station sandwich happened before our eyes.
Speaker 1: So I don't want people to be confused if they
Speaker 1: don't have these stores there. These aren't gas station sandwiches
Speaker 1: in the way like a mobile has like a little
Speaker 1: heater with like little chicken arms or whatever that they
Speaker 1: eat it up in a microwave.
Speaker 2: This is like a big ass cheeseburger.
Speaker 1: This is it's almost a step up from subway.
Speaker 2: Oh you know we have Maverick. I actually, okay, we
Speaker 2: do have. You have Mavericks on the East coast.
Speaker 1: We don't here. I'm going through some here. You don't
Speaker 1: have sheets, I assume right. Quick trip no quick trip
Speaker 1: spelled a different way. No, okay, BUCkies, no United Dairy Farmers.
Speaker 2: It sounds like someone who's ends me mail?
Speaker 1: All right, then, no, you don't have that.
Speaker 2: We have maps where they So it's like the same
Speaker 2: thing as a wah war. It's like a big convenience
Speaker 2: type Mini Mark gas station when you go inside, but
Speaker 2: instead of having a thing where they make you sandwiches,
Speaker 2: I think they do burritos.
Speaker 1: That's cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they do like sausage burritos and shit at breakfast,
Speaker 2: and then they do fucking like com burritos at lunch.
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool. I can appreciate that. So, again, not
Speaker 1: to steal valor, but I understand what it's like to
Speaker 1: be in the middle of a school shooting. I'm standing there,
Speaker 1: ordering my back towards the door, which I fucking hate.
Speaker 1: I understand that some like wop thing from fucking Guinea
Speaker 1: movies or whatever. I don't care. I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I don't like having my back to the door for
Speaker 1: this very reason.
Speaker 2: Looking over my shoulder.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, no, yeah, no, no, I don't want anyone
Speaker 1: looking over my shoulder. Oh So, anyway, I'm there.
Speaker 2: And I just hear my War's all.
Speaker 1: I just hear from behind me give me my fucking money,
Speaker 1: you fucking piece of shit, And I hear liket and
Speaker 1: I go, oh no, oh boy. So like every American,
Speaker 1: my first thought is fucking gotta get my camera up quick,
Speaker 1: get the camera.
Speaker 2: God, I still haven't become that American. It's still so
Speaker 2: I dude. I saw a homeless couple fighting in the
Speaker 2: street the other day and I was like, a good
Speaker 2: thirty yards away. I would have been safe. I just
Speaker 2: felt so weird. Videotape in it. You're tough.
Speaker 1: I oh, well, I mean I did it discreetly and
Speaker 1: I hold it up. The video was to capture the
Speaker 1: audio if I could. It's a video of like under
Speaker 1: my chin, like I put it on the counter, but
Speaker 1: it's just like your neck and all this it is
Speaker 1: like it is yeah, pretty much, but uh I couldn't
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 3: But give me my fucking money, you coward. By He goes,
Speaker 3: I know you have it. I have all the fucking receipts,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, WHOA, what is going on?
Speaker 2: Dude?
Speaker 1: Who works? I guess the pumps or something at the
Speaker 1: like the gas pumps. Fucking beard down to like his
Speaker 1: chest but like stout, like if you told me. He
Speaker 1: retired to work at Wah Wah, having done forty years
Speaker 1: at sea as like a long shortman. I'd go, yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, I got that.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: He comes in screaming give me my fucking money to
Speaker 1: this six foot five Puerto Rican dude behind the sandwich
Speaker 1: counter bus. I'm thinking this Puerto Rican is gonna just
Speaker 1: step on this guy, like really fuck him up. But
Speaker 1: the guy's screaming, coming in, pointing and fast walking too.
Speaker 1: Not the kind of walk where you make it look
Speaker 1: like you're walking fast because you're hoping they'll get scared, yeah,
Speaker 1: but like really like he wants to get there.
Speaker 2: He's trying to keep up.
Speaker 1: He gets behind the counter and he starts chesting up
Speaker 1: to this guy. He starts going, why are you hiding
Speaker 1: behind the counter, you fucking coward? But I mean real
Speaker 1: serious words, and the Spanish guy's going, oh, man, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking I don't know. But he
Speaker 1: kept screaming, I have the text, I have the fucking receipts.
Speaker 1: I know you have my fucking money.
Speaker 2: What oh I was gonna say that guy probably fucked
Speaker 2: his girl. Well maybe he did fuck his girl, and
Speaker 2: it's like you fucked her this day this day, I
Speaker 2: have to text for it. It's one hundred and fifty
Speaker 2: dollars every fuck I have all these receipts.
Speaker 1: I want my money for every time he fuck my girl.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's like maybe the Puerto Rican guy is a cock,
Speaker 1: and the old guy fucks the Puerto Rican guys girl,
Speaker 1: and then he's supposed to Venmo and or cash app
Speaker 1: him and he goes.
Speaker 2: I've been fucking your wife on credit for three weeks.
Speaker 2: Now you owe me four.
Speaker 3: Fifty and make you five hundred because I had to
Speaker 3: track your ass down.
Speaker 1: Uh no, they were both employees. And then some girl
Speaker 1: steps in from the old man. It goes like, Jim
Speaker 1: or whatever his name is. Jim, Jim, you're gonna get fired.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get fired. He was, I don't even give
Speaker 1: a fuck anymore. Well, I mean it.
Speaker 2: Well, then you're gonna be down even more money, Jim.
Speaker 1: It was Jim, I don't know that you're the most
Speaker 1: financially savvy person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're you're like hard up for the four hundred
Speaker 2: and fifty bucks you fucked out of in K's wife.
Speaker 2: You know, maybe maybe you should just try and hold
Speaker 2: onto this job until Enrique comes through.
Speaker 1: Jim's not good with money.
Speaker 2: He's just not good at money. It soon he's like
Speaker 2: and he's a mess.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, so that was interesting.
Speaker 2: That was and then they just broke it up after that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like most things, it didn't end in some grand finale.
Speaker 1: It was a dud beforehand, but it was build up.
Speaker 2: Was fun. I fucking hate that though, Dude. I wish
Speaker 2: one day like Jim would just pull out a fucking
Speaker 2: AK forty seven and just it's empty. He's just making
Speaker 2: that sound, just rack everybody, Okay, everyone's running in fear,
Speaker 2: and he's just like la la, just like pretending, and
Speaker 2: then you know, the cops kill him. So I got
Speaker 2: my haircut yesterday. I know it looks nice. You like
Speaker 2: you look like a Hitler youth? Yeah, do it?
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Jews will not replace us. Jews will not.
Speaker 2: Look like Richard Spencer. That's right, oh man.
Speaker 1: Richard Spencer's as gay as they come.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's not even popular anymore. You gotta you gotta
Speaker 2: be if you want to be really controversial with your racism,
Speaker 2: you gotta have a last name like Twentis.
Speaker 1: It's so it's so crazy to me that Nick Fuentez
Speaker 1: he's any kind of white supremacist. Maybe he's like a plant.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's like bullshit.
Speaker 2: Like they put on their before. He's pretty fucking racist.
Speaker 2: You think he's pretending.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think he's like a fed So that
Speaker 1: way they can say, you know, oh, Puerto Ricans can
Speaker 1: be white supremacists too.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Leave it to the Feds to pick a guy
Speaker 2: like Nick Fuentez to be there their point.
Speaker 1: But that's the point you put him there. He's obnoxious,
Speaker 1: he'll say whatever he wants because he's a fame whore
Speaker 1: and then or whatever you want him to say, and
Speaker 1: then you can then point to him and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: that guy's a Hispanic. We can just grab anyone for
Speaker 1: white supremacy. All blacks are in now, that's what they say.
Speaker 2: Or how about that that one.
Speaker 1: Uh, there's one proud boy that got into a fight
Speaker 1: with somebody and got sentenced to four years on a
Speaker 1: hate crime. He I think he beat up a white
Speaker 1: guy and his wife and two kids. And the guy
Speaker 1: who's going to prison for the hate crime his wife
Speaker 1: and two kids are black, Like I mean like black,
Speaker 1: he beat up the wife and kids. No, he beat
Speaker 1: up another white guy. Some antifog guy or something and
Speaker 1: maybe well maybe he was a Hispanic. I don't know
Speaker 1: what the whole song.
Speaker 2: I don't know what the whole thing is with the
Speaker 2: hate hate crime law on how it applies in that
Speaker 2: particular case. But I know, like you're gonna, you know,
Speaker 2: beat someone up real bad, like four years is you know,
Speaker 2: that's a sentence that sounds kind of reasonable and in
Speaker 2: a lot of places not all, but yeah, dude, assaults
Speaker 2: and violent it gets taken seriously.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm not I'm not defending well it does,
Speaker 1: so I'm not.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not defending to me that. I'm just saying I
Speaker 1: don't think he's a white supremacist.
Speaker 2: Right, I'm just saying. I wonder how much that hate
Speaker 2: crime law affected the actual sentencing, you know, That's all
Speaker 2: I want to know.
Speaker 1: Doesn't it double it?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm not sure how it works.
Speaker 1: I thought that's how it worked. I thought in every state.
Speaker 2: It's that way much more.
Speaker 1: No, probably not time. Uh do crimes and to a sentence,
Speaker 1: the amount of additional time, and it's the sentences for
Speaker 1: hate crime varies depending on the jurisdiction.
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, they probably get it was probably like a
Speaker 2: four year sentence for the hate crime and like only
Speaker 2: two days for the assault.
Speaker 1: You know, probably yeah, again, I'm not defending that guy.
Speaker 2: Stop bating.
Speaker 1: So I went to go get my haircut, and it
Speaker 1: was one of those things I got a I yet
Speaker 1: fucking I registered online like so it puts you in
Speaker 1: line and they closed it four and I got there
Speaker 1: at three point thirty.
Speaker 2: Now, easy ass barbershop.
Speaker 1: Like most barbershops, it was actually just Great Clips.
Speaker 2: That's where I go, Oh, that's not a barbershop.
Speaker 1: That's a mostly official endorsement, except for these four or
Speaker 1: five times they've specifically just said I'm not gonna do that,
Speaker 1: and then just something different.
Speaker 2: Let me revise my comments on your haircut. Now that
Speaker 2: I know that you got your haircut Great Clips, I
Speaker 2: am actually quite impressed. That's a bomb ass haircut for
Speaker 2: Great Clips. Hey, Great Clips has fucked my shit up
Speaker 2: every time I on there.
Speaker 1: So one time I went with Jen and the girl goes,
Speaker 1: Jen goes to get her hair cut and I do it,
Speaker 1: and we're both kind of like back to back and
Speaker 1: I go, Okay, what I want is just a number
Speaker 1: one on the sides faded up scissors on the top,
Speaker 1: and if you could give me a hard part over here,
Speaker 1: that would be great.
Speaker 2: And the one Yeah, so that's what it's called hard part.
Speaker 1: Hard part. Yeah, yeah, So I don't have that right now, actually,
Speaker 1: and I didn't have that's the last No, it's it's
Speaker 1: there's no line drawn.
Speaker 2: Is it's just a comb over or put an undercut
Speaker 2: or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: I eat whatever, fade up is what I always say.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but I I I
Speaker 1: said that. I. I also did not have a hard
Speaker 1: part the time I asked for it. When I went
Speaker 1: to Great Clips, like four or five times ago. The
Speaker 1: woman goes, I don't I don't think we should do that,
Speaker 1: and I go, oh, I would like it. I would
Speaker 1: like a hard part. She goes, I can't really do that.
Speaker 2: Uh so she was honest, dude, imagine if she fucking
Speaker 2: scalped your ass trying to do it. Because they use
Speaker 2: the razor blade.
Speaker 1: The woman had Jen behind her, another woman had Gen
Speaker 1: behind her, and Jen's like, yeah, I wanted to do
Speaker 1: bangs and the woman goes, oh, those won't look good
Speaker 1: on your face, and Jen goes, Okay, I still want bangs,
Speaker 1: and she goes no, and Gen goes there just a
Speaker 1: trim up then, so she couldn't.
Speaker 2: Even be honest and say she doesn't know how to
Speaker 2: do it. She's she just made a Gen's problem.
Speaker 1: Either your face up, or she's a gun, or she's
Speaker 1: a crummy person like that guy in the fucking cowboy
Speaker 1: hat said.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's probably a mixture all three.
Speaker 1: So we talked about it on the Patreon last week.
Speaker 1: It was supposed to be me talking about an incident
Speaker 1: I had having to go to a thing, and it
Speaker 1: kind of devolved or evolved into an assessment of my
Speaker 1: whatever kind of mental illness where I feel the need
Speaker 1: to always be what is it please you? So there
Speaker 1: was a claret Yeah. See there's a difference I think
Speaker 1: than what I am. I don't care if people are pleased.
Speaker 1: I want to feel good knowing I did the thing
Speaker 1: that I feel is right to be considerate of the situation.
Speaker 1: Like if I hold a door for someone and they
Speaker 1: say thank.
Speaker 2: You very much, recognition for that?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I don't want recognition from them you iowledge.
Speaker 1: I want self satisfaction that I did the right thing,
Speaker 1: that I that I that I had manners or I
Speaker 1: was polite or I was whatever, because it makes me
Speaker 1: feel good to have those things. So I walk into
Speaker 1: Great Clips and it's three point thirty again. They close
Speaker 1: it for and I see one girl sweeping up, and
Speaker 1: I'm telling Jen as we're driving there, I'm breaking down
Speaker 1: the scenarios in my head that i'm playing out. I go,
Speaker 1: if we walk in and the lady says it's no problem,
Speaker 1: then I'll get my haircut. And if she kind of
Speaker 1: scoffs at all or does any kind of like unfortunate thing,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say, you know what, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: It's okay, have a nice day. And if she fights
Speaker 1: with me on it, if she says something like a
Speaker 1: like you know, no, no, it's okay.
Speaker 3: I can take you.
Speaker 1: I can take you. But if her tone seems kind
Speaker 1: of negative, I'm just gonna let her know no, thank you,
Speaker 1: I'm good. And then if she asks me why, like
Speaker 1: why what's wrong? I would just say, well, your your
Speaker 1: attitude isn't really selling. This is all I'm saying this
Speaker 1: out loud to the woman that lets me fuck her,
Speaker 1: like she must be like holy shit, like where did
Speaker 1: I pull this one out of it?
Speaker 2: Must be as zoned out as I am right now.
Speaker 1: It's okay, that's you know, all right, talking about science
Speaker 1: for a while. You do that.
Speaker 2: I'm just fucking with you, dude. Just you know, when
Speaker 2: you talk like a chick, you know, I just like,
Speaker 2: you know, I just kind of zone out, like when
Speaker 2: my wife's talking. I'm just like, huh yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: you should do.
Speaker 1: That, uh chick talk. Okay, that's of our new show.
Speaker 1: So anyway, now into our now, into our segment about dreams. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and after that we'll do the tarot cards, horoscope, heriscope.
Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, weekly terror readings, also horoscopes. See how
Speaker 1: they go?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, dude, why don't we fucking do this
Speaker 2: as our show? And then yeah, I don't bitches to
Speaker 2: watch our show.
Speaker 1: I don't know why we don't. Okay, I'll fucking add
Speaker 1: a third show. I only got two episodes to edit
Speaker 1: tonight or something else. We just stopped doing the regular
Speaker 1: whatever we do and just do the horoscope thing, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: I was drinking coffee, Give me a second, give me
Speaker 1: a yes, right, yeah, it's not a terrible idea. Rebranding show. Yeah, Joe, somebody,
Speaker 1: it's Joe something. Okay, let's Joe somebody, but that's his band.
Speaker 1: So I'm playing all these scenarios out and Jen's like, okay,
Speaker 1: whatever you need to do, that's fine, you know, whatever
Speaker 1: makes you happy. So I go in and I go, uh, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, I wanted to get a haircut. But if
Speaker 1: you guys are closing up soon, like I totally understand,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it, bah blah. And the girl behind
Speaker 1: the counter scoffs, and I go fuck. I go, no,
Speaker 1: for real, if you guys have done don't swatch.
Speaker 2: She goes no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: But she was positive about it. She goes, you're good,
Speaker 1: you're good, She'll take it down here, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: So I'm the Then an Indian guy walks in like
Speaker 1: right after me, and he's like, oh the haircut, and
Speaker 1: the cool woman goes as Jennin Aire's in and they're
Speaker 1: about to go to the back. The woman just goes,
Speaker 1: we're closed, you can come back tomorrow and sends him out.
Speaker 1: But I was I was signed in online already, that's why.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, how do you know he wasn't. But then
Speaker 2: I'm signed in and she's like pushing him out. The door.
Speaker 2: But please, I put in my name. It's Poto, It's.
Speaker 1: Mook, It's Mohammed. Uh fucking cause you know one's gonna
Speaker 1: be on there.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there's there's at least one registered on the site. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Uh so the woman's cutting my hair and she's
Speaker 1: doing what I fucking despise, small talk, but not actually
Speaker 1: engaging in small talk, Like if you're going to small
Speaker 1: talk already, weather's been really nice lately. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: the weather has been really nice. Did you do anything
Speaker 1: this summer? But that's how you sate small talk. Okay,
Speaker 1: then we can have a discussion. She's asking me a
Speaker 1: question and responding as I'm giving the answer, but not
Speaker 1: a back and forth. It's a total just memory. Every
Speaker 1: line is being a race from her memory as I
Speaker 1: say it, and she's just rev up the agreement.
Speaker 2: So so uh it's like a recorder is on one
Speaker 2: point two five speed.
Speaker 1: Tell me like five steps for taking down that tree
Speaker 1: in the backyard you're doing.
Speaker 2: I took the branches, Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1: For sure, branches so so important.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I used a ladder to climb up, and I
Speaker 2: had this surreal.
Speaker 1: High always it's so it's so high in the here.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't have an axe, but I was.
Speaker 1: So sorry, done, I'm done. That's but that's what she's doing.
Speaker 1: And it gets awkward to the point where she's like,
Speaker 1: I had to drive blah blah blah blah blah to
Speaker 1: get COVID tested, and I was like, oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: I never I never jump into shit in public. I
Speaker 1: just go COVID crazy time for everyone, Right, that's my line,
Speaker 1: just small talking crazy time for Then if she starts
Speaker 1: going like, look I got long COVID, this ship's real
Speaker 1: I can buy, I'll be I'll listen. I'll be like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, tell me about it.
Speaker 2: So what are you doing, you bitch?
Speaker 1: Get away? Or if she's a vaccine vaccine skeptic, I'll
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, let's talk some shit. Let's go fucking
Speaker 1: blood brain barrier lead, you know what I'm talking about
Speaker 1: that daddre.
Speaker 2: Head off.
Speaker 1: So yeah, So but she's she's not even she's hired
Speaker 1: to go down South. I go to Long COVID go yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, crazy time for everyone. She's like, how did
Speaker 1: your parents do through COVID? And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: we're coming up on the two year anniversary or three No.
Speaker 1: One two year anniversary of my dad passing, and or No.
Speaker 1: I start with my mom. I'm like, she's retired, she's
Speaker 1: just cleaning up around the house. And one goes, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's important, it's important to do that. Uh I go,
Speaker 1: I go, uh, you know, coming up on the two
Speaker 1: year anniversary and my dad passing, actually you know, it
Speaker 1: was pretty unexpected. And she just goes, oh, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: just keep on moving. What are you gonna do? You know, hey,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. You'll everyone will be fine. Just
Speaker 1: keep all moving. Who's fucking to me, dude, I exactly.
Speaker 1: She was hitting her fucking vap pen and she was
Speaker 1: clipping my hairs one at a time with fucking pocket
Speaker 1: knife scissors.
Speaker 2: Well it's got to be hard. I'm not trying to
Speaker 2: fucking make this bitch bit better or anything. And she
Speaker 2: did do a good job in your hair, but uh,
Speaker 2: it's like the the whole socialization thing. It's like, you
Speaker 2: might be good at doing hair, you might enjoy it,
Speaker 2: but you might fucking not be good at talking to people.
Speaker 2: You might hate it, And yeah, that would be tough
Speaker 2: for me. I think for a while, at least while
Speaker 2: I was getting used to working in a salon or something.
Speaker 2: It would be talking to fucking strangers all the goddamn
Speaker 2: time for an extended period of time. And I'm already like,
Speaker 2: I already have such an issue engaging people when they
Speaker 2: tell me like bad news. So I'm always like whenever
Speaker 2: someone tells me, like in a conversation where it's not
Speaker 2: like at my wife's party recently, like some guy was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, in a couple of years ago, before I
Speaker 2: moved out here, you know, that was when my dad
Speaker 2: had died, so I had to get rid of all
Speaker 2: his things. It's like, I I sorry that he isn't
Speaker 2: alive anymore. You know. It's like I don't know what
Speaker 2: to say to that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to bring it up if she didn't ask,
Speaker 1: like how my parents were. I get that, and I
Speaker 1: get it's like a hammer to drop on someone, but
Speaker 1: it's also not a crazy hammer. I'm not some twelve
Speaker 1: year old kid being like my dad. Oh no, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying you are saying. I'm just saying.
Speaker 2: It's just one of these things where it's like in
Speaker 2: my head, it's like, hey, don't talk about death, I'm
Speaker 2: cutting your hair. Talk about fun, stuff like pussy and lollipops,
Speaker 2: you know. But yeah, it's a totally normal thing for
Speaker 2: people to talk about. I just don't really know how
Speaker 2: to exchange in those things. And she's probably more of
Speaker 2: the pussy and lollipops kind of a hairdresser.
Speaker 1: She was definitely more of a pussy and lollipops type.
Speaker 1: I would agree she uh, she was. She did a
Speaker 1: fine job whatever. I don't know's I like, that's real?
Speaker 1: That's really all I had on that is just uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta shave the beard though down at least because look,
Speaker 1: I had to give me a hard line.
Speaker 2: Yeah it looks stupid like that. Yeah, you gotta fix it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna trim all this done, nice little go tig.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm thinking about growing a beard back. But it's
Speaker 2: just like such a fucking stupid commitment, you know. And
Speaker 2: then I'm always like in the fucking bathroom, like trimming
Speaker 2: it and shit and trying to get it even, and
Speaker 2: then I fuck it up and then I'm like, god
Speaker 2: damn it, and I have to start over, and I'm thinking,
Speaker 2: maybe maybe it's time to fucking be cool again.
Speaker 1: Do you grow good facial hair?
Speaker 2: It's it gives the impression of growing good.
Speaker 1: Look does it look? Is that is that decent?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean it gives the impression at least I
Speaker 2: have to get up in your face to know. Oh, so,
Speaker 2: like I have like all these patches on my face
Speaker 2: where hair doesn't really grow, but then when the shit
Speaker 2: grows out, it's all like bushy and coarse, and it
Speaker 2: grows in all these different directions in any like areas
Speaker 2: that would normally like appear patchy, they're covered. You know.
Speaker 2: It's like I have a fully covered It's almost like
Speaker 2: how a black guy would have a beard. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a black person's beard.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say like Chinese pubic hair, but I
Speaker 1: think that's more straight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's more like like a broom, like a wet
Speaker 2: or a wet mop.
Speaker 1: Well, those are two different things, Like a hard bristle
Speaker 1: broom and a wet mop are polar opposites.
Speaker 2: Well, I guess it just depends on I wanted want to. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's bristly and sharp when it's dry, but then you
Speaker 2: wet it and it's all you know, it really retains
Speaker 2: the water.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 2: It doesn't beat off like a like a broom.
Speaker 1: Broom hare. I'll tell you what my dad used to
Speaker 1: talk about the Canadians with their broom hair. Oh man.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah. My dad used to always mention to me,
Speaker 2: reporters never trust a reporter. Yeah, room hair, bristle fucking mustaches.
Speaker 1: I don't don't ever play three card Monty against some
Speaker 1: reporter with bristle hair.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll never wind up in a cell with a report. Uh.
Speaker 1: Anyway, did you ever have a retail job you said
Speaker 1: something interesting in there bad at small talking this and that.
Speaker 1: Did you ever have a retail job that you liked
Speaker 1: the product you were selling because you're not a car guy.
Speaker 1: You worked AutoZone, You're not a shoe guy. You also
Speaker 1: got kicked out of that interview. They let you know
Speaker 1: how target you were in that sense.
Speaker 2: I did like some of the sales atmosphere at AutoZone
Speaker 2: when it was like that. There was like transitional periods
Speaker 2: while I worked there. So there was there was one
Speaker 2: store I worked at where it was brand new, like
Speaker 2: I helped open the store, put it together and everything,
Speaker 2: and then for like the first year maybe that particular
Speaker 2: store didn't have any like sales pressure. It was all
Speaker 2: about establishing like a baseline, So they were just like
Speaker 2: letting traffic flow naturally for about a year to kind
Speaker 2: of gauge what their targets were going to be and stuff,
Speaker 2: and so they just didn't push us as employees for
Speaker 2: that first year to really try and upsell a lot
Speaker 2: or anything. And I would. I would swap around store
Speaker 2: so I would see the different mentalities. And I loved
Speaker 2: working at that store because it was always like somebody
Speaker 2: would come in, you could shoot the shit, you could
Speaker 2: like you could recommend an actual product that you would
Speaker 2: think would do the job and not have to like
Speaker 2: tack anything on. It felt authentic. So I did like that.
Speaker 1: So I actually know that's not what I meant at all.
Speaker 1: Have you ever sold a product? I don't mean like
Speaker 1: sales wise. I didn't give a shit about sales numbers either,
Speaker 1: Like I never gave a fuck about them. But I
Speaker 1: sold products at best Buy that I was interested in.
Speaker 1: I like big TVs, I like cameras, I like computers
Speaker 1: like this and that, And it made it easier to
Speaker 1: engage in small talk with people because it was like
Speaker 1: shit you were interested in. Like I assume if you
Speaker 1: worked in a music store you would be able to
Speaker 1: engage in small talk a little maybe a little bit better,
Speaker 1: because I mean, what are you going to talk about
Speaker 1: with a guy? You know he needs a new fucking
Speaker 1: car battery?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I just never hearn exactly. I've never, I really never
Speaker 2: had that retail outlet for any of my interests, you
Speaker 2: know That's what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, what would have been a retail outlet for
Speaker 1: your interest, like an old nineties like music use.
Speaker 2: Bookstore, okay, motherfucking yeah, like a musical instrument type store, yeah,
Speaker 2: record store or some shit.
Speaker 1: It's shit like that, And it's in restaurants. Now. I've
Speaker 1: never directly worked in a restaurant. I worked the kitchen
Speaker 1: for like a catering type thing, So I've been in
Speaker 1: restaurant atmospheres, but I've never been like, you know, back
Speaker 1: of the house of like a busy, active restaurant. It's
Speaker 1: shit like that where you really learn to small talk.
Speaker 1: You learn how to just pick up on one little
Speaker 1: thing and go, how the fuck are we going to
Speaker 1: pass the time of this shift? The whole idea is
Speaker 1: just banging through that shift as quickly as you can.
Speaker 1: And I think it's a lot easier if you like
Speaker 1: give a shit or have an interest in what you're selling.
Speaker 1: You know, could you work at a week place? Or
Speaker 1: do you not care about it enough?
Speaker 2: I don't really give a shit about weed. I just
Speaker 2: want to get high off of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, So you wouldn't care about like that. You
Speaker 1: couldn't be like a bud tender or whatever they.
Speaker 2: Call, and I could. It'd probably be easier.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't. You wouldn't have any interest in it though,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: Be that interested. No, just to be like, how high
Speaker 2: does it get you? You know, whenever the new stuff
Speaker 2: came out. That's how I'm really high. Oh cool, I'll
Speaker 2: recommend that one to our our customers. Then this one
Speaker 2: is really good for getting really high? How about this one?
Speaker 1: This one doesn't get you as high though.
Speaker 2: That one's about eight on a ten scale of highness.
Speaker 1: I'm looking for something around a seven. Do you guys
Speaker 1: have anything?
Speaker 2: Sorry, we've only got six? Is eight and nine?
Speaker 1: Oh man?
Speaker 2: What am I going to do? Should I just?
Speaker 1: Did you guys have ones as well?
Speaker 2: You know, you got to break a seven thought with
Speaker 2: the sixth or something.
Speaker 1: You gotta break a sixth off of the sixth.
Speaker 2: Now it's a seven. I'm pretty sure you want to
Speaker 2: have seven. You want to be at a seven?
Speaker 1: Man, I would fucking hate. I dealt with someone the
Speaker 1: other day. I can't remember who it was, but as
Speaker 1: much as I get annoyed by bad cashiers, I left
Speaker 1: there going that person needs to stop being so fucking jolly.
Speaker 1: It really annoyed me, and I can't think of what
Speaker 1: it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, That's why I'm not good at those social things,
Speaker 2: because I'm thinking, like in my head, like, oh, they're
Speaker 2: gonna think I'm too jolly and they're gonna fucking spit
Speaker 2: on me.
Speaker 1: I don't think they're gonna spit on you.
Speaker 2: That's a salt brother, all right, Billy Madison. But no,
Speaker 2: they could. They could. They could just you know, like
Speaker 2: some people talk and then the spit comes out and
Speaker 2: then they're like, oh, sorry, I talked, real fucking gross. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I get another question for you here. I've been seeing
Speaker 1: this a lot in in the town we grew up in,
Speaker 1: they installed uh bike lanes. Okay, here's the issue.
Speaker 2: We got them all out here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well the people out here don't know how to
Speaker 1: use them yet, so they just kind of cut across
Speaker 1: the street in the middle of.
Speaker 2: It, and that's what I want.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, that's chaos. Then's what I want. Chaos. Uh
Speaker 1: So I saw this video this cyclist, right, you don't
Speaker 1: call them bikers, and this kid recorded it, and I
Speaker 1: wanted to see if we could do a breakdown on
Speaker 1: when you would lose it?
Speaker 2: Which one?
Speaker 1: Uh say, you're the guy the kid, I think he's
Speaker 1: a seventeen year old kid is maybe what the news
Speaker 1: story was. But he apparently passed this guy in his
Speaker 1: bike lane in a way the guy felt it was
Speaker 1: too close. Okay, so the guy follows him to his
Speaker 1: parking spot and then does this.
Speaker 2: No, you're a fucking dude, literally stop, No, I call
Speaker 2: him the police, and you're not leaving.
Speaker 1: You're not leaving.
Speaker 2: He's already gone with you too far? Right, don't you
Speaker 2: just nail this guy? Push him backwards. I fucking punch
Speaker 2: him in his glands, in the glands of his penis.
Speaker 1: He's a seventy two, seventy three year old man. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: It was not a kid. It was a twenty two
Speaker 1: year old. His name is Pierce Kempton though, and that's
Speaker 1: a douchebag name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is he a blogger?
Speaker 1: But he does have dirt bag tattoos, also known as
Speaker 1: Shane tattoos. But I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2: He's like, very I have really classy, like artful tattoos. Man, Oh,
Speaker 2: I agree with a fucking asshole.
Speaker 1: It's not about the quality of them. It's about the
Speaker 1: placement and subject matter.
Speaker 2: Oh it's trashy to have him on your arms.
Speaker 1: I get it, because then you can't get an office job.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I love that clip of Joe Ran
Speaker 2: where he's like, man, these kids today, Man, they're getting
Speaker 2: the tattos in their face and on their necks. And
Speaker 2: it's like, sure, I got my arms, but I can
Speaker 2: cover it with their shirt and all this. But it's like,
Speaker 2: these kids today, can you imagine how fucking crazy you
Speaker 2: got to be to get your hands tattooed? As I
Speaker 2: sit there on my phone, you know, like holding my
Speaker 2: phone with two tattooed hands, and I'm like, I literally
Speaker 2: working in office, Joe, Like, I don't. I mean, it's
Speaker 2: not that I'm I'm disagreeing with the idea of what
Speaker 2: he's saying, per se, but it's like, I think the
Speaker 2: world's just a little different now, you know, Like, sure,
Speaker 2: I see people with tattoos just everywhere on their body,
Speaker 2: fucking everywhere. Now, just like EMTs. I see fucking hospital
Speaker 2: staff with those fucking piercings, you know where, it's like
Speaker 2: the surface piercing those girls.
Speaker 1: Fuck. By the way, I've only recently heard this that nurses.
Speaker 1: I've never known the cliche nurses are like cheaters and
Speaker 1: this and that and whatever. This makes me real thrilled
Speaker 1: to get out of my high school relationship. Fucking pig.
Speaker 1: But those some of those nurses got tight bodies and
Speaker 1: piercings exactly, or they have the I've even seen the
Speaker 1: dermals in the.
Speaker 2: Cheek, yeah, the cheeks. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But but there's got to be some line. And this
Speaker 1: is coming from a guy with a wife with thirteen tattoos,
Speaker 1: and I think what's about to become pretty much a
Speaker 1: full body covering at some point once stuff shakes out.
Speaker 1: We've already been talking about like a jacket.
Speaker 2: She's gonna get a jacket tattoo.
Speaker 1: Yes, no, I don't know. She'll get whatever she wants.
Speaker 1: But here's the point. If you get murderer tattooed on
Speaker 1: your forehead, oh yeah, that does say something.
Speaker 2: That's different than getting like kindness tattooed on your forehead. Right, Yes,
Speaker 2: there's a difference. It is, but it's kind of in
Speaker 2: the same basket. Okay, it doesn't necessarily make someone a
Speaker 2: bad person, but it's you know, you know, the classic
Speaker 2: syntax versus semantics debate, Right, is it the is it
Speaker 2: the is it the the word mental or the meaning
Speaker 2: of the word you know, like it's it seems to
Speaker 2: be just the And in this context it would be
Speaker 2: the tattoo itself or the deeper meaning. And I guess
Speaker 2: in this argument it would mean that the tattoos themselves
Speaker 2: are the important part.
Speaker 1: It could be the idea of society's judgment on the
Speaker 1: placement of tattoo.
Speaker 2: Hmm, yeah, you know, like.
Speaker 1: And there is something to being able to cover that up,
Speaker 1: even if it did say kindness.
Speaker 2: Like hey, we don't want you to be a nice here.
Speaker 2: This is a doctor's office.
Speaker 1: Is a doctor's office. You can only get kindness or
Speaker 1: fuck the Jews on your back. You can't get it
Speaker 1: on your forehead. This is a doctor's office. We tattooed
Speaker 1: murderer on our head? Why is he an Irish guy
Speaker 1: from South East Dude? Because mud on a foot or popeye?
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell who you were doing with that one.
Speaker 2: He's just some fucking Cretan. It's Irish Cretan who fucking
Speaker 2: does trans surgery on kids. Damn.
Speaker 1: All right, let's watch this guy there. I'm gonna go skate.
Speaker 2: No, you're not, Yes, I am, you're not. You're not
Speaker 2: going anywhere he's.
Speaker 1: Come, dude, stop no, Like, let me ask you. Are
Speaker 1: you allowed to if he's holding If he's holding onto
Speaker 1: your handle and you back up and you drag him,
Speaker 1: you're in trouble for that, right.
Speaker 2: M Probably yeah, I think the should you be in
Speaker 2: trouble for that? It's all about like as a proportional force, right,
Speaker 2: So like at the if you fuck him up pretty bad,
Speaker 2: you might be. But I think I think this dude
Speaker 2: should just man up, fucking punch this guy from his
Speaker 2: driver's seat kind of being a pussy by not the
Speaker 2: fact that this guy is reaching into his car. He's
Speaker 2: a huge fucking threat. He's a crazy boundary violation. I
Speaker 2: would fuck this old man up.
Speaker 1: He's an old man, though. I think that's his thing.
Speaker 1: And that's what the kid's mother came out tweeting afterwards.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's some discipline on this kid. Then good for him,
Speaker 2: Good for I fuck this old man up.
Speaker 1: Maybe he doesn't even care about the discipline whatever. He
Speaker 1: just wants to feel like he has good manners, which
Speaker 1: is how I feel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's good manners. Not to fuck this old man out?
Speaker 1: Should Yeah I would. I would. I would punch this
Speaker 1: old man in the chest. I'd push him first, and
Speaker 1: if he got up, I'd hit him in the chest
Speaker 1: and I'd say stay down, I'm backing up straight. If
Speaker 1: you move, I'm gonna run you over like.
Speaker 2: That dislodgees pacemaker cathode. Dude.
Speaker 1: Literally stop no, I call him the police, and you're
Speaker 1: not You're not leaving. Okay. So, yes, maybe he is
Speaker 1: a pussy. I'll agree with that. I think it's in
Speaker 1: Utah too.
Speaker 2: Oh. He's probably probably one of those religious fellas.
Speaker 1: Park City, Utah. And I think he's a rich guy,
Speaker 1: rich religious fella, millionaire cyclist. By the way, if you
Speaker 1: go cycling in the full suit, you're fucking gay.
Speaker 2: Why is this real? Gay cycling shirts? Say sop, that's
Speaker 2: a car company. Uh, because they sponsor shit like that,
Speaker 2: they sponsor bike shit.
Speaker 1: Dude.
Speaker 2: That sounds like a breach of interests or something. I
Speaker 2: don't like that.
Speaker 1: Jen and I were fucking getting all sauced up the
Speaker 1: other day and we were watching the Red Bull YouTube channel.
Speaker 1: Have you ever watched those?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've seen some of that shit where it's like
Speaker 2: parachuting and fucking flipping and stuff.
Speaker 1: Or even just the when they build the flu dogs
Speaker 1: and fucking try and fly them off of the edge
Speaker 1: into the water. Yeah, shit's fun, it's bad. And that's
Speaker 1: Red Bull. That's an energy company.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So it is monster Monsters and energy company and.
Speaker 1: They sponsorship like this all the time.
Speaker 2: I know, Yeah, that's so cool. Is a car company, Yeah,
Speaker 2: but these guys they give energy to humans, SOB gives
Speaker 2: energy to fucking automotons. You're not leaving? Got his fucking
Speaker 2: hands on me instead.
Speaker 1: I won't leave because the police look at this dude,
Speaker 1: What are you doing.
Speaker 3: You so I'm calling.
Speaker 1: God hears you already.
Speaker 2: Are you pushed into me? I asked you to wait.
Speaker 2: You didn't wait, he did. How did you get out
Speaker 2: of there? He's got a clear shot to him right
Speaker 2: in the stern.
Speaker 1: I like this too. This kid has been like nothing
Speaker 1: but calm and just hey, you know, let's just be cool.
Speaker 1: I just want to go escape.
Speaker 2: I've got a very aggressive teenager here that almost me
Speaker 2: in the car, and now he won't give me his
Speaker 2: last name, and.
Speaker 1: Now he's trying to leave. I'm in Park City, near
Speaker 1: the park City Park, the skate park. He's in a
Speaker 1: Subaru in a yeah he's yeah, it was a license plate.
Speaker 1: This is the point when I go and drop kicking,
Speaker 1: get really kick his bike over, fucking stump on the run,
Speaker 1: bicycle kick his ass. I was watching fucking Fatalities the
Speaker 1: other day. Do they have like a kids mode that
Speaker 1: turns the blood green?
Speaker 2: You can just choose it's I don't know if it's
Speaker 2: kid's mode or not, but you can choose the color
Speaker 2: of the blood.
Speaker 1: Oh can you really? Okay? That's interesting? I yeah, because
Speaker 1: I was watching on YouTube and it was all green,
Speaker 1: and I didn't know if they were doing that for
Speaker 1: censoring reasons, And then I didn't know if there was
Speaker 1: a setting that makes sense that or something.
Speaker 2: My god, you know, if you want to, if you
Speaker 2: want to like monetize it or whatever, just change it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's easy, that's fun.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about your thing here, because I think the
Speaker 1: bo is really interesting.
Speaker 2: The fuck is my thing? What the fuck? Do you happen?
Speaker 1: Oh all right, now let's talk about your thing.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 1: Video in the episode description, this is a graphic one, folks. Uh,
Speaker 1: this guy's gonna have fuck.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: This lady over across. This guy's looking through a telescope
Speaker 1: or I guess just across the street. I don't know.
Speaker 1: And watch this guy really pound away. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: let me refocus here. Okay, just keep you keep looking down.
Speaker 1: I assume that you're weed.
Speaker 2: No, I'm just drawing. I'm writing random words and I
Speaker 2: drew a circle with two lines. Why would you do that?
Speaker 3: Just talk?
Speaker 2: Because I gotta do something. What the fuck am I
Speaker 2: supposed to do? My fucking hands? All right?
Speaker 1: Wat's this video?
Speaker 2: So that's my boy.
Speaker 1: Pumping away right now. See that's the thing. He's doing
Speaker 1: it in public, like view, I guess.
Speaker 2: But it's like I feel like recording it is probably
Speaker 2: still not a good thing.
Speaker 1: It's public space. Man, Guys like that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: People do that all the time in New York.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, but it's like, dude, you want to waste
Speaker 2: your fucking your hillobytes on this fucking guy.
Speaker 1: Why he's gary, he's pounding pretty good.
Speaker 2: Let him pound, But I'm not saying it's like the
Speaker 2: kind of pounding I want to see.
Speaker 1: It might be the kind of pounding you want to say.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I can't really see any melanin let's see,
Speaker 2: I won't put ups. I mean.
Speaker 1: Jesus, all right, it was.
Speaker 2: Dude, I assumed it was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just like the fucking irishman watching see it
Speaker 1: is the type of video you want it? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh it's two lads.
Speaker 2: Well why didn't you tell me that at the beginning?
Speaker 2: I thought this was just gonna be some weird stuff
Speaker 2: where it's like, oh, this guy is fucking the girl.
Speaker 1: Some faggy guys fucking some woman. Disgusting. No, show me
Speaker 1: the good stuff, show me the gimp.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: Your topic was this, So should we say this for
Speaker 1: the patreon?
Speaker 2: What the fuck? How long have we been talking so far? Uh?
Speaker 1: Fifty four minutes?
Speaker 2: Oh dude, Then we got to save it for the
Speaker 2: Patreon because this is a big thing. This is like, dude,
Speaker 2: this is the kind of thing that if you saw
Speaker 2: it in the past, you'd be like, this is the future.
Speaker 2: But this is something I saw now, So I'm saying
Speaker 2: this is the future.
Speaker 1: All right, Then tell me a five minute story so
Speaker 1: we can give him a full out.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I've fucking been cutting down this tree and
Speaker 2: I'm worried that I might fucking break something. So I
Speaker 2: showed you before the show that I got all this
Speaker 2: trash in my yard that I'm like throwing out systematically
Speaker 2: but boxing up and you bagging up throwing shit out.
Speaker 2: And then I realized that this tree in my backyard
Speaker 2: is growing into the fence. It's like, okay, well I
Speaker 2: can't have.
Speaker 1: That, so let me ask you, is it the root?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's growing up and like pushing the fence, all
Speaker 2: crooked and stuff. So I'm like, all right, well, let
Speaker 2: me go ahead and cut a ring around this tree
Speaker 2: and get the bark severed so that way it can't
Speaker 2: grow anymore. I mean, you got a ring around the
Speaker 2: bark like a circle. It's like a it's like cutting
Speaker 2: the corotida artery. It can't send any more nutrients up,
Speaker 2: so it'll slowly die. And then I figured, Okay, I'll
Speaker 2: cut off these branches like bit by bit over the
Speaker 2: next few weeks, and eventually I'll just have this tree
Speaker 2: like this skinny little tree, and I'll take it down.
Speaker 2: But the more branches I take off, the more it
Speaker 2: fills up my backyard, and then the more I still
Speaker 2: have to take off, the more I'm realizing, like, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't think I'm gonna be able to cut this
Speaker 2: whole fucking tree down. I think he can die soon.
Speaker 1: No, I think you can. I think you can. I
Speaker 1: saw that tree. That's not that bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, it falls on me. What do I do?
Speaker 2: What's the protocol? You know, we got the insider view.
Speaker 1: If it falls on you, how do I how do
Speaker 1: I dodge?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: You don't read. I read a eulogy for someone that
Speaker 1: happened to Yeah, yeah, no you don't, you don't, you
Speaker 1: just I don't know.
Speaker 2: That tree was a branch that was like a living
Speaker 2: branch right that had like snapped because it got hit.
Speaker 2: It was like all those crazy occurrences.
Speaker 1: I believe so. And it was so much. It was
Speaker 1: thicker than what I saw your trunk was, and it
Speaker 1: probably came down from like thirty or forty.
Speaker 2: Feet to Jesus, Yeah yeah, So I'm just worried I'm
Speaker 2: going to climb up and then not be able to
Speaker 2: get back down. I'm going to climb up and to
Speaker 2: cut something to make it fall, you know, to make
Speaker 2: the thing shorter, and then home fall and hit me?
Speaker 1: Does home depot rent out pole saws, pol e saws? Saws?
Speaker 2: Maybe I have to check on that. Is that that
Speaker 2: long fuck er?
Speaker 3: That it's a.
Speaker 1: Chainsaw on a pole? Yeah? It exactly what it sounds like.
Speaker 1: It's a small chainsaw we have so unsafe. We have
Speaker 1: four of them that my mom just won't sell, like
Speaker 1: she's trying to, but she's doing everything else first before
Speaker 1: addressing that. And it's not a it's not a I
Speaker 1: don't want to do this because it hurts too much.
Speaker 1: It's a too much organized, I don't feel like doing it.
Speaker 1: I'll start on something else and just never get into it.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I don't think she's going to use thirty six or
Speaker 1: whatever it is chainsaws that we have jammed into a
Speaker 1: fucking utility shed.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: I never know what's kind like projects. She might get involved.
Speaker 2: Then she could start building stuff.
Speaker 1: What have you been cutting? Okay? Maybe she's also just
Speaker 1: becoming an old lady.
Speaker 3: What are you uh?
Speaker 1: What are you currently cutting it down with?
Speaker 2: I have like those those clippies, you know, like those
Speaker 2: those like snappies? Yeah you need yeah, Okay and I
Speaker 2: also have I also have a like a handsaw where
Speaker 2: it's like the it's like a really long sard saw. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's not a carpenter saw, but it's like that. It's
Speaker 2: like collapsible. I got it in the garden department and
Speaker 2: it's got like a very like long tooth serrated blade. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like one of those. Yeah, one of those.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fine. But a pole saw. You can go
Speaker 1: up high with it, kind a pole saw, and you
Speaker 1: can do it from the ground on depot rental. Yeah,
Speaker 1: two days fifty bucks.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, dude, I'd rather just go hire some
Speaker 2: Mexicans and have them climb the fucking tree.
Speaker 1: Oh four hours, forty eight dollars. Holy shed those numbers,
Speaker 1: I said.
Speaker 2: I could get so many Mexicans for that rate. One
Speaker 2: at least.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe one. You're gonna put mixed gas in it?
Speaker 1: You all right with that? I assume?
Speaker 2: Nah, dude, I want one that burns coal.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, Man, get yourself a pole saw. It's crazy though.
Speaker 1: Per day it's seventy dollars. You can buy a shitty
Speaker 1: electric one, which is all you would really need, for
Speaker 1: probably one hundred bucks.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, yeah, I'm gonna do that then.
Speaker 1: And you don't buy one of those and return it
Speaker 1: when you're done with it, so you just don't like
Speaker 1: the way it cut.
Speaker 2: That's a good idea too, But I was actually thinking
Speaker 2: buy all these different tools and then rent them out,
Speaker 2: and then you just pay for something.
Speaker 1: You buy one hundred dollars tool and start renting it
Speaker 1: out for sixty dollars a day, you're ten dollars cheaper
Speaker 1: than fucking depot. And it's the same tool.
Speaker 2: I just got to go and knock on all my
Speaker 2: neighbors doors.
Speaker 1: Do you want to rent this? Would you like to
Speaker 1: rent this? It's a pulsaw.
Speaker 2: It's the only one I got. But I'm planning to
Speaker 2: get more tools soon. Just be on the lookout, like
Speaker 2: you can come ask me and I'll make a list, like, oh,
Speaker 2: we need a plunger. Like I'll get a plunger. You
Speaker 2: can rent it, but you know, for now, we just
Speaker 2: got a pul saw.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, Shane, you can go in the back and
Speaker 1: cut down some branches. I'll pay you some money for that. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I just rent the saw to people.
Speaker 2: You do all the work.
Speaker 1: It's not a service. I'm not doing that. It's a
Speaker 1: rental service, not a tree service.
Speaker 2: Just say hello, See.
Speaker 1: I cleaned the bidet yesterday.
Speaker 2: Oh, is there a shit and poop in there?
Speaker 1: Wasn't It wasn't great. It wasn't great.
Speaker 2: That's all a ship and poop that comes out when
Speaker 2: it sprays you down. Huh.
Speaker 1: I bought these long gloves and I cleaned everything in
Speaker 1: the room. It was fucking great.
Speaker 2: Did you do it nude? No?
Speaker 1: Why would I do it nude?
Speaker 2: I like to do that like either in my underwear
Speaker 2: or nude, because I feel like, if I'm going to
Speaker 2: be cleaning the bathtub and stuff, I'm gonna have to
Speaker 2: be kneeling down, sitting down and like to get in
Speaker 2: all the crevices and shit, and I don't want to
Speaker 2: get my clothes like wet and sticky. So I just
Speaker 2: fucking do it nude.
Speaker 1: You don't have just like work clothes that you don't
Speaker 1: mind if like bleach gets on them or anything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got work clothes, but I'm in the bathroom, dude.
Speaker 2: It's like the only place you can do the stuff.
Speaker 1: Maybe go to your worst friend dot com. Follow us
Speaker 1: everywhere on Twitter and Instagram at Worstfriendcast, patreon dot com,
Speaker 1: slash Worst friend cast. We're gonna jump over there now
Speaker 1: and talk about Elon's Elon Musk's new robot project that
Speaker 1: I think we both found pretty interesting. And yeah, you
Speaker 1: got anything else more in bot the eb I don't
Speaker 1: think it's called the ebot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can also talk about my new book.
Speaker 1: What's your new book yet? In the new book you're reading?
Speaker 2: Okay, no, no, no, I didn't get here yet. I
Speaker 2: ordered a new a new Oh you mean the new
Speaker 2: book I'm writing. That's why what you were talking about
Speaker 2: doing a rewrite on the Bible right now. But that's
Speaker 2: going to take a while to get visioed. But no, no, no,
Speaker 2: the new Neil Stevenson book comes out tomorrow, bitches. It's
Speaker 2: about an alternate history of Russia.
Speaker 1: That's cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty cool. We'll talk about it on the
Speaker 2: show for your.
Speaker 1: Worst Friend I met.
Speaker 2: I'm the star of the show. My name is Shane.
Speaker 2: Look up my internet present.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. You know,
Speaker 1: all us all you know. I'm really going to miss
Speaker 1: your talk in the show's over.