WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:06.360 Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. 2 00:00:06.480 --> 00:00:09.800 If you don't make mistakes, you won't learn. 3 00:00:10.439 --> 00:00:13.199 With your host, Corey Winfield, you know how you know 4 00:00:13.320 --> 00:00:15.160 fish is bad if you can't put it on pizza. 5 00:00:15.320 --> 00:00:17.559 It's a special guest, Mitchell O'Brien. 6 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:19.879 I really hate to do listen to you guys, but 7 00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:22.079 I really have to go to the ab somewhere that 8 00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:27.039 I just like, can't hold it anymore. Got your ass? 9 00:00:29.079 --> 00:00:32.679 It is the two seventeen Recovery podcasts. It is the 10 00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:34.920 twelfth of February twenty twenty five. 11 00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:36.359 My name is Corey Winfield. 12 00:00:37.119 --> 00:00:39.159 I am Mitchell O'Brien, the only man. 13 00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:42.799 To leave our podcast because you had to use the restroom. 14 00:00:43.039 --> 00:00:45.240 I was going to say it more explicitly, but it 15 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:47.799 was only a matter of time until you got that drop. 16 00:00:48.479 --> 00:00:53.840 Really really was and the drop is now forever. Yeah, 17 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:55.840 and it's an intro, So thank you for that. 18 00:00:55.880 --> 00:00:56.200 Mitchell. 19 00:00:56.799 --> 00:00:59.320 It's been a minute since we've done a podcast as 20 00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:01.280 to seventeen Recovery, it's been a minute since you and 21 00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:04.680 I have done a podcast in general. You know you 22 00:01:05.079 --> 00:01:08.159 last podcast was Halloween. 23 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:09.200 I think so. 24 00:01:09.959 --> 00:01:13.719 Yeah, because you have your redacted podcast which you put 25 00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:14.760 on hold for a minute. 26 00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:17.439 Yeah, yeah, we were going to start something new, but 27 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:19.159 I just don't know where that direction is going. 28 00:01:19.239 --> 00:01:21.640 So and then our Recovery Dads podcast we've been done 29 00:01:21.719 --> 00:01:27.200 in eighteen months or something. Dads are busy, oh yeah, 30 00:01:27.239 --> 00:01:29.560 and we're super busy here at two seventeen recovery and 31 00:01:29.599 --> 00:01:31.879 you're driving now and you're on the road, and it's 32 00:01:31.959 --> 00:01:34.439 just you know, Tuesdays was our day for Recovery Dads, 33 00:01:34.439 --> 00:01:36.519 but now Tuesdays I actually have to go be a 34 00:01:36.599 --> 00:01:40.079 dad because Marnie wants to work and stuff. 35 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:42.280 Now do short rides on Tuesdays. 36 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:47.640 Yeah, yeah, So it's just like, when can we get 37 00:01:47.640 --> 00:01:50.719 all of this together again? And maybe when the sun 38 00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:53.120 comes out at six am, it'll be a little easier 39 00:01:53.120 --> 00:01:55.400 to get up, But sometimes it's hard. Man, it's dark, 40 00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:59.519 dark until eight o'clock. Sometimes it's like, man, before we 41 00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:01.640 would like before the day started. So we get here 42 00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:03.480 at AID to a pocket. Now get here AID, it's 43 00:02:03.519 --> 00:02:06.400 like still dark, and you're like, I don't really want 44 00:02:06.439 --> 00:02:06.680 to do. 45 00:02:06.680 --> 00:02:08.960 None of that. I don't know. I kind of like that. 46 00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:11.319 I don't like waking up in the morning, but I 47 00:02:11.319 --> 00:02:13.199 don't mind the darkness of the morning. 48 00:02:13.400 --> 00:02:14.520 I don't know. I don't know. 49 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:19.039 Yesterday I started the day in the dark in the 50 00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:22.319 company vehicle and I ended the day in the dark 51 00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:23.639 in the company vehicle. 52 00:02:24.879 --> 00:02:26.879 That's crazy. We can't out of you guys now. 53 00:02:27.280 --> 00:02:28.080 It was a good ride. 54 00:02:28.199 --> 00:02:32.000 Twelve hour day. Shit, why aren't you working fourteen? You know? 55 00:02:32.800 --> 00:02:33.000 Yeah? 56 00:02:33.240 --> 00:02:34.199 Leaving early today? 57 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:38.879 Nah, But that's that's It's kind of cool though, that 58 00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:41.159 you knew like you had to take a break from 59 00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:43.280 your podcast to just like hold on, like let me 60 00:02:44.199 --> 00:02:46.680 revamp this, let me figure it out, and that'll be 61 00:02:46.759 --> 00:02:47.639 the time my choosing. 62 00:02:47.719 --> 00:02:49.240 You know, there's no pressure on you, and. 63 00:02:49.479 --> 00:02:52.800 You use it to kind of help you through, kind 64 00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:56.479 of help you get something off your chest, to be creative, 65 00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:59.800 to to create something. And the podcasting is fun that 66 00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:02.960 way too. And people at early recovery, I'll tell you 67 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:06.439 that the podcast helped me. You know, some people are like, oh, 68 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:11.080 there's there's different pathways and da dah da da da 69 00:03:11.159 --> 00:03:14.479 what pathways you choose? And I'm like, podcasting, like what 70 00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:19.319 that's not We're good for me, man. You know, I 71 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:22.080 had to stay sober because we started out we were 72 00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:23.280 doing them four days a week. I was in a 73 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:25.719 sober living home. So my requirement a was to stay 74 00:03:25.759 --> 00:03:29.199 sober already, but to do them at night. I had 75 00:03:29.199 --> 00:03:32.159 to stay sober all day to do them four times 76 00:03:32.199 --> 00:03:33.840 a week, and it really did help me, and it 77 00:03:33.879 --> 00:03:36.439 helped me, event helped me get stuff off my chest. 78 00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:38.240 And you can go back and listen to the early 79 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:41.960 episodes that are on our app. You know, you can 80 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.400 get the app. It's free, but it's it's laid out 81 00:03:44.400 --> 00:03:46.560 pretty easily there for you can go back through the 82 00:03:46.680 --> 00:03:51.360 years twenty nineteen, twenty twenty twenty one two are doing it. 83 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:55.960 Four Yeah, to go through the archives and listen. It's 84 00:03:56.319 --> 00:03:59.400 I tell people it's like a soap opera almost it. 85 00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:02.120 I mean, if you go back, you can, like you 86 00:04:02.240 --> 00:04:03.759 hear the stuff that I was talking about, like, hey, 87 00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:05.120 we want to do this, we want to do that, 88 00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:07.879 and it's pretty cool that some of the stuff has 89 00:04:07.960 --> 00:04:10.960 kind of made it and we've accomplished some goals and 90 00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:12.919 you know, to make a movie part I still want to. 91 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:15.159 I hope to be shooting next month, so I have 92 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:17.160 to put the finishing touches on the script of it. 93 00:04:17.240 --> 00:04:19.199 But you know, and you're gonna help me with that, 94 00:04:19.240 --> 00:04:21.240 you at least agree to it at one point. Yeah, 95 00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:24.480 you know, but that'll be it'll be fun. 96 00:04:24.519 --> 00:04:26.879 I think it'll be mostly improv but. 97 00:04:28.519 --> 00:04:31.560 Like, let's not following the storyboard, Joe, You're like, why 98 00:04:31.560 --> 00:04:33.720 are we doing this different than what we normally do? 99 00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:38.399 Then we just grab it and shoot it because I 100 00:04:38.439 --> 00:04:40.199 paid money to take this film class and they tell 101 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:43.279 me how to do it like this, Yeah, that's how 102 00:04:43.319 --> 00:04:44.519 you make the movie now. 103 00:04:44.639 --> 00:04:47.040 But and in January, you snuck it by us. 104 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:51.040 You weren't like walking around like talking about how many 105 00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:53.600 years you got, you just got them. And then I'm like, 106 00:04:53.639 --> 00:04:56.879 wait a minute, because Justin got his five years and 107 00:04:56.879 --> 00:04:57.879 he was upset I didn't get. 108 00:04:57.800 --> 00:05:01.519 Him a coin, so yeah, we all heard about it. 109 00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:04.160 Yeah, so and then I was like, wait, Mitch's was 110 00:05:04.199 --> 00:05:06.600 in January, and I was like, Mitch, i'd say a message. 111 00:05:06.800 --> 00:05:10.560 I didn't get you a coin or anything, but congratulations 112 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:11.360 on your four years. 113 00:05:11.480 --> 00:05:16.279 Thank you. I don't necessarily track it like some people do, 114 00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:18.759 you know, and I don't know the exact day either, 115 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:22.360 which is I think kind of rare in recovery. I've 116 00:05:22.399 --> 00:05:24.399 met a couple other people that are like that, but 117 00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:29.199 most people know the exact day or time, you know, 118 00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:33.000 where it was I just know it was in January. 119 00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:35.399 I'm pretty sure it was in early January, around the 120 00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:41.560 third or the fourth of twenty twenty one. So I 121 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:44.439 have this weird and people tell me I overthink it, 122 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:45.720 and I probably do. 123 00:05:45.879 --> 00:05:46.040 But. 124 00:05:48.199 --> 00:05:51.920 I don't track it because that wasn't attached to like 125 00:05:51.959 --> 00:05:54.800 a good thing, you know, the addiction part of it, 126 00:05:55.680 --> 00:05:57.639 and I know the sobriety part of it is is 127 00:05:57.639 --> 00:06:02.720 the good thing. But I'm living a life of recovery. 128 00:06:02.759 --> 00:06:04.839 But I'm above that I'm living. I want to live 129 00:06:04.879 --> 00:06:07.480 a life of wellness, which is kind of how I 130 00:06:07.720 --> 00:06:10.560 organize it in my mind. And it's like I don't 131 00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:13.519 want to just stay sober today. I want to be 132 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.839 progressing in all of the aspects of life, you know, 133 00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:21.079 all of them. So recovery is like a very important 134 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:24.360 part of that puzzle, to the point to where like 135 00:06:24.439 --> 00:06:28.439 my whole life bottlenecked until I found recovery. So it's 136 00:06:28.600 --> 00:06:31.079 very important, but it's like it's not the only thing. 137 00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:33.839 I want to make sure And these could all be 138 00:06:33.959 --> 00:06:35.600 argued as part of recovery, but I don't want to 139 00:06:35.639 --> 00:06:38.519 make sure my mental health is tiptop, my physical health 140 00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:40.680 is tip top, and just all these different things, and 141 00:06:40.759 --> 00:06:44.600 just so I look at it more almost like recovery 142 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:48.439 is under the umbrella of a life of wellness. And 143 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:51.319 I kind of blog about that a little bit. Which 144 00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:53.519 part would you say, is the heart is so far 145 00:06:54.360 --> 00:07:00.560 to tackle? Oh, and maybe it's not the hardest, Maybe 146 00:07:00.600 --> 00:07:05.839 it's the one the most uncomfortable or when you don't like, 147 00:07:06.600 --> 00:07:12.079 I'm gonna say mental health, but it's the really really 148 00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:19.240 really bad avoidance habits and behaviors. And I'm still like 149 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:23.839 battling those. But like after I got sober and I 150 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:27.680 was dealing with mental health stuff, depression, anxiety, working on 151 00:07:27.720 --> 00:07:30.240 trauma with my therapist, those, one of the things that 152 00:07:30.279 --> 00:07:33.920 came up is I was always just trying to avoid 153 00:07:33.959 --> 00:07:36.680 everything in the moment, you know, to get it. And 154 00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:39.439 that's what drove me to drinking too, because that's what 155 00:07:39.480 --> 00:07:42.600 I was doing. I was avoiding the depression and the 156 00:07:42.600 --> 00:07:44.360 anxiety that I was having. You know, I could grab 157 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:47.360 a bottle and that feeling would go away almost immediately, 158 00:07:48.120 --> 00:07:49.319 but then it would be back the next day, so 159 00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:51.360 then I'd have to do it again. And we all 160 00:07:51.399 --> 00:07:56.560 know that snowball, you know. So being able to actually 161 00:07:56.680 --> 00:08:01.800 stay disciplined in not having avoidance. 162 00:08:01.279 --> 00:08:04.079 Behaviors is that I guess how I'm gonna say. 163 00:08:03.920 --> 00:08:07.199 It is probably the most difficult part because I would 164 00:08:07.240 --> 00:08:09.920 have and I think you've been here for at least 165 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:14.279 one of them, like panic attacks, full panic attacks when 166 00:08:14.319 --> 00:08:17.680 I had to make a call that I didn't want 167 00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:20.800 to make. You know, we're talking about like you know, 168 00:08:21.160 --> 00:08:26.279 financial debt stuff, and it's like my whole body would 169 00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:28.759 like lock up, it'd be hard to breathe, and I'd 170 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:31.639 be having an actual panic attack. And it's like, but 171 00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:35.519 I've been living a life of avoidance behavior since I 172 00:08:35.559 --> 00:08:38.480 was a kid because of trauma and stuff like that. 173 00:08:38.600 --> 00:08:41.639 So it's like that's probably one of the biggest ones. 174 00:08:41.799 --> 00:08:43.240 And I think that's a normal one too, and that 175 00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:47.000 was a big one for me. I didn't and I 176 00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:50.679 still have problems with it, man, Like I don't want 177 00:08:51.480 --> 00:08:55.639 to hear the answer that I've already created in my mind, 178 00:08:55.720 --> 00:08:58.240 Like I already haven't figured out my mind how it's 179 00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:01.799 going to go. And it's always bad for me, you know, 180 00:09:01.879 --> 00:09:04.679 I always and maybe this is something that people do, 181 00:09:04.759 --> 00:09:07.399 addicts do. I don't know, but I always think the 182 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:09.600 worst outcome, like oh, they're going to say no, and 183 00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:11.720 then this before I even ask them. I'm already like 184 00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:15.360 defensive and ready to defend my position of why they 185 00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:20.039 shouldn't say no or whatever it is. And bills were tough, 186 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:22.919 you know, to open a bill, Oh my god, Like 187 00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:23.679 I couldn't even do it. 188 00:09:23.679 --> 00:09:23.960 One time. 189 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:26.480 I had to bring my mouth to my mother. It 190 00:09:26.559 --> 00:09:29.039 was like, Mom, I can't even open this. As she 191 00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:31.080 opened it, and she's like, oh, it's a hundred and seventeen dollars, 192 00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:36.759 that's not bad. Okay, well I have eight. It's pretty bad. 193 00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:39.320 I can't even go drink this problem away, you know. Yeah, 194 00:09:40.279 --> 00:09:43.159 And she I remember when she opened and then she 195 00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:45.320 called them for me because I'm like, I can't pay that. 196 00:09:45.360 --> 00:09:47.399 I don't know what to do. And she did something 197 00:09:47.399 --> 00:09:48.960 and got something figured out, and she's like, that's all 198 00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:54.240 you had to do for someone who's sober. Sure, I'm 199 00:09:54.279 --> 00:09:56.360 sure that would be easy to do, but for me 200 00:09:56.799 --> 00:10:01.759 and the anxiety from not drinking, you know, like just oh, 201 00:10:01.799 --> 00:10:04.039 I just remember feeling that whole ball of. 202 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:07.360 Just and just I don't Oh, I'm so glad I 203 00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:07.919 don't have to do it. 204 00:10:07.919 --> 00:10:10.559 Anymore, angsty and stuff, and I still kind of have 205 00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:12.960 to do that. I haven't you know, gotten myself out 206 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:15.399 of all the debt and everything and medical stuff. But 207 00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:17.919 it's a little bit easier and. 208 00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:20.120 As a and at first maybe I started trying. I 209 00:10:20.159 --> 00:10:22.240 remember people tell me, oh, call two one one, they'll 210 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:25.919 help you. That's funny because I called them and they 211 00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:27.919 wouldn't help me. And they told me, oh, well, you're 212 00:10:27.960 --> 00:10:29.480 a male with no kids, so. 213 00:10:31.039 --> 00:10:31.639 I have phone. 214 00:10:31.720 --> 00:10:34.399 Good luck, Maybe go to a church or something. Yeah, 215 00:10:34.480 --> 00:10:36.919 but my electrics getting shut off, and like you said, 216 00:10:36.919 --> 00:10:38.039 I needed a bill. 217 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:38.200 I have. 218 00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:41.559 I have the shut off notice right here. Okay, well 219 00:10:41.639 --> 00:10:43.399 maybe if you bring that to a church or something. 220 00:10:43.559 --> 00:10:46.919 What church do you belong to? I'm like none, Like 221 00:10:48.759 --> 00:10:51.679 damn it, you know. And so that would send me 222 00:10:51.679 --> 00:10:53.399 in another spiral. So one I would see that, like 223 00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:55.120 I just knew there was no help out there for me. 224 00:10:55.200 --> 00:10:57.399 So then that added to the anxiety. And if I 225 00:10:57.480 --> 00:10:59.559 just left that over there, don't know how much it is. 226 00:11:02.120 --> 00:11:03.840 Yeah, if you don't look at it, it's got a problem. 227 00:11:03.960 --> 00:11:05.519 Or I just don't know how much it is, don't 228 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:07.240 really know when it's getting shut off. And sometimes I 229 00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:08.879 would look to see when it was getting shut off, 230 00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:12.600 just so I would have a little heads up. But yeah, 231 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:14.399 then it was off to liquor store with whatever little 232 00:11:14.399 --> 00:11:17.080 money I did have to drink that away, Yeah. 233 00:11:16.919 --> 00:11:19.039 Because then you know, in twenty minutes, you're not gonna 234 00:11:19.039 --> 00:11:21.159 have to feel it anymore. Yeah until tomorrow. 235 00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:23.879 Yeah, and the next thing week it's even worse. It's 236 00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:25.919 like you're going down the stairs or up the stairs. 237 00:11:25.960 --> 00:11:28.000 Either way, you're going this direction that you don't want 238 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:30.799 to go, and it's just like, but the only way 239 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:34.200 to forget it is to go get some more m 240 00:11:34.960 --> 00:11:36.679 Then when you run out of money there, then you're 241 00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:40.039 really scrounging because you don't have power anymore. And now 242 00:11:40.039 --> 00:11:42.679 you don't have money the liquor and you know, thank 243 00:11:42.759 --> 00:11:45.080 God that I did have family. There's some people and 244 00:11:45.080 --> 00:11:48.559 you've met them too, who are an early recovery or 245 00:11:48.600 --> 00:11:52.039 trying to be in early recovery, and they have nobody, Yeah, 246 00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:54.879 like family like mom, dad passed away, don't have brothers 247 00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:57.200 or maybe brothers and sisters have died or moved away 248 00:11:57.279 --> 00:11:59.600 or want nothing to do with them, like they have nobody. 249 00:12:00.840 --> 00:12:05.360 And I feel for those people, I really do. And 250 00:12:04.799 --> 00:12:08.639 that would be hard to lose a parent and then 251 00:12:08.679 --> 00:12:10.679 to have to go through all of this alone, like 252 00:12:10.799 --> 00:12:14.200 that would be that'd be tough. I mean, ultimately we 253 00:12:14.279 --> 00:12:15.919 have to go through it alone, you know, like our 254 00:12:15.960 --> 00:12:18.559 parents are family whoever, They're not doing it for us. 255 00:12:19.240 --> 00:12:20.679 But you know what I'm saying. 256 00:12:20.519 --> 00:12:23.240 It's yeah, well, And I think that was what my 257 00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:26.799 last blog I wrote was kind of about, too, was 258 00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:32.799 your family's not always gonna understand where you are. And 259 00:12:33.080 --> 00:12:35.840 because I was talking with a client and they're talking 260 00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:38.879 about how their their mother is still very critical of them, 261 00:12:39.279 --> 00:12:41.639 and I just got a chance to share some of 262 00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:44.200 my story and I was like, well, my mom was 263 00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:49.080 there for all sixteen years of my heavy alcoholism. So 264 00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:52.799 when Mitchell pulled out another six months of sobriety, because 265 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:57.120 I'd only got six months, three months a nine month 266 00:12:57.279 --> 00:13:01.879 out of sobriety before this time, like that was just 267 00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:05.879 Mitchell's next time being sober for a while. But it 268 00:13:05.919 --> 00:13:09.600 wasn't until I proved and got more long term and 269 00:13:09.679 --> 00:13:14.320 got into the therapy, got into healthier mental health practices 270 00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:18.039 and behaviors to where and then that time under your 271 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:20.559 belt too, you know, the longer you go. And then 272 00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:21.879 I got a little bit. I had to kind of 273 00:13:21.879 --> 00:13:23.919 do it for myself because people are being critical. But 274 00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:26.279 I got off the vivitroal shots by myself, and I 275 00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:28.480 got a certain amount of Like I waited six months 276 00:13:28.519 --> 00:13:31.360 to tell anybody, so I'm a year and a half 277 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:33.720 sober now, that's twice as much as the longest I've 278 00:13:33.720 --> 00:13:37.039 ever had in my adult life at that time. And 279 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:41.759 then people start to go, oh, okay, this is different, 280 00:13:42.440 --> 00:13:44.759 but I had to. What I shared with the client 281 00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:50.159 was they're not healing at the same pace you are. 282 00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:53.159 They're not getting the therapy you are. They're not connected 283 00:13:53.159 --> 00:13:56.840 to the recovery community you are. Probably they're not going 284 00:13:56.879 --> 00:14:00.200 to the meetings you are. They're not in this like 285 00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:04.519 you are. So they're healing at just a little bit 286 00:14:04.519 --> 00:14:07.279 of interaction that they get from you. So it's gonna 287 00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:10.759 take more. So you have to have as much grace 288 00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:14.600 with your loved ones or friends then, you know, as 289 00:14:14.679 --> 00:14:16.559 as they do for you. Yeah. 290 00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:19.440 So it's tough and sometimes you'll still get it. And 291 00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:20.960 that's that's a good way to put it, you know, 292 00:14:21.080 --> 00:14:24.600 like with their each interaction with you, you know they're okay, 293 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:27.000 that's how they're they're healing, and that's how they're growing. 294 00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:28.960 Because sometimes you know, my mom was still throw it 295 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:29.240 out there. 296 00:14:29.240 --> 00:14:29.879 Oh yeah, just. 297 00:14:32.360 --> 00:14:34.799 No I still want to talk right now, or I'm 298 00:14:34.840 --> 00:14:37.559 just busy right now, or you know, like my life 299 00:14:37.639 --> 00:14:40.000 is is pretty crazy in and it's it's a it's 300 00:14:40.039 --> 00:14:43.440 a good crazy. But she doesn't see all that stuff, 301 00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:45.480 you know, she just knows. Well, I never got a 302 00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:49.600 text or a picture with Parker's that he's teething now, 303 00:14:49.960 --> 00:14:52.039 like I had to. I had to find out the 304 00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:55.399 long way or the last one or whatever. It's like, okay, well, sorry, 305 00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:57.200 you know, I didn't didn't write that one down. But 306 00:14:57.240 --> 00:15:00.559 I send pictures all the time, you know, Like but 307 00:15:00.679 --> 00:15:03.399 sometimes you know, or I have an attitude about something 308 00:15:03.440 --> 00:15:05.960 and who knows what I'm really mad about or what 309 00:15:06.039 --> 00:15:08.279 I'm dealing with, you know. But she'll take it the 310 00:15:08.279 --> 00:15:10.919 wrong way, and then it's like, well' see, Corey, you 311 00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:13.679 just you're still not used to being sober. And it's like, no, no, 312 00:15:14.519 --> 00:15:16.840 I don't understand what I'm going through right now, you know. 313 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:19.559 And you don't just get sober and then have all 314 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:20.919 of life figured out, you know. 315 00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:24.480 Yeah, and there's a part of that you mentioned. 316 00:15:25.320 --> 00:15:25.879 What was it? 317 00:15:25.960 --> 00:15:26.559 I lost it? 318 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:32.519 But yeah, it's really similar to that. Oh it's the 319 00:15:32.759 --> 00:15:36.840 what I was gonna say, is the avoidance behaviors, not 320 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:43.480 opening the the the bill, the mail, so whatever that is, 321 00:15:44.440 --> 00:15:48.720 you get that same. You don't just get good at 322 00:15:48.720 --> 00:15:51.240 it one day. You don't talk to your therapist about Okay, 323 00:15:51.279 --> 00:15:53.200 you have to have discipline actually do this stuff and 324 00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:55.200 then get good at it. You're still gonna have that 325 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:59.240 panic attack. Yeah, but the more times that comes up, 326 00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:02.559 they eat year it gets and it's the same thing 327 00:16:02.600 --> 00:16:06.159 as you know, your loved one healing at different paces. 328 00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:09.480 You you know, the longer they see you, the more 329 00:16:09.559 --> 00:16:14.559 healthy you are around them. Eventually it kind of kicks in. 330 00:16:14.679 --> 00:16:15.759 It's really similar. 331 00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:22.960 And speaking of families, yes, is a good good segue here. 332 00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:27.600 We are going to include families at our next Recovery 333 00:16:27.639 --> 00:16:28.320 Stories event. 334 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:32.279 I saw something but I haven't been able to talk 335 00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:33.399 to you about it. Yeah. 336 00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:38.360 Recovery Stories five. It's happening in Traverse City, Michigan. Where's 337 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:42.320 it happening at the Grand Travers Event Center on the 338 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:46.080 twenty seventh of March and our Message of Hope speaker 339 00:16:46.159 --> 00:16:50.279 is very excited about Jay Burton, Oh yes, and Paul Back. Yes, 340 00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:53.679 they're going to do the it's more of an in depth, 341 00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:57.879 you know, twenty five minute long kind of thing and. 342 00:16:57.399 --> 00:16:59.000 Then recovery stories. 343 00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:03.840 We have one lock, then Adam nuth okay, and we're 344 00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:06.319 still looking for one more, still waiting to hear yes 345 00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:08.640 or no on that. And then we're going to include 346 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:09.519 two families. 347 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:13.160 I have a really good one that I'm trying to 348 00:17:13.279 --> 00:17:17.960 talk into doing it nice. He's very scared, so I 349 00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:22.640 shouldn't have said scared, but he's avoidance. Yeah, there we go. 350 00:17:22.839 --> 00:17:24.319 Well that conversation. 351 00:17:24.599 --> 00:17:26.680 Yeah, get your gass up there. 352 00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:30.559 I was like three minutes, man, like. 353 00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:34.799 Yeah, if you missed, if you missed the last one, 354 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:37.599 you can watch them online. 355 00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:39.039 All the videos are up there. 356 00:17:39.640 --> 00:17:45.160 Kim Russ, Me Jesse, and Marnie and Chris Goss. You know, 357 00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:47.680 they were the message. Marnie and Chris Goss were the 358 00:17:47.720 --> 00:17:49.559 message of hopes because Marney had to cut her short 359 00:17:49.559 --> 00:17:50.759 because their belts ran long. 360 00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:52.119 I did like ten minutes. 361 00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:55.240 Well, and the MC wasn't very timely. 362 00:17:55.559 --> 00:17:59.079 Yeah, And speaking of the MC, it was you, Mitchell. 363 00:17:59.200 --> 00:17:59.759 You were the MC. 364 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:01.759 You were gonna come back from a break and then 365 00:18:01.799 --> 00:18:03.559 take another break and I was like, no, just get 366 00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:07.119 it going now. But I just so happened to have 367 00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:10.240 some audio from the event, and you know, the audio 368 00:18:10.279 --> 00:18:12.039 is so much better than the other ones because we 369 00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:15.319 actually ran the mic to our board and so the 370 00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:19.680 audio was just amazing, and we got some drops here 371 00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:21.640 and I was hoping maybe you could explain them. So 372 00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:25.240 let's let's go ahead and play the first one here. 373 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:26.680 This is one of my favorites. 374 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:33.000 Actually, all right, everybody, we're not about to start yet, 375 00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:36.000 So if anybody needs to hit their vapor real quick 376 00:18:36.279 --> 00:18:38.759 or smoke a cigarette, this is the time to do it. 377 00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:41.960 Will be starting shortly. This would be a good one 378 00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:45.640 for the beginning of the podcast. I almost put it 379 00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:50.480 on there, so I'm fat. Did you know that? 380 00:18:50.680 --> 00:18:53.680 I didn't know. That's not how you identify. 381 00:18:53.359 --> 00:18:57.240 You, don't. You don't see people as their stereotypes. I 382 00:18:57.319 --> 00:19:02.880 understand that, all right, everybody, And so that's only like 383 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:05.160 four or five stairs, but. 384 00:19:05.319 --> 00:19:08.119 For a big fella's three, I don't even know. 385 00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:14.640 I'm exaggerating this thing where it feels like five or 386 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:18.240 six could be seven. Okay, So I would get to 387 00:19:18.319 --> 00:19:19.839 the top of the stairs and have to speak, and 388 00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:21.640 I would immediately be out of breath. 389 00:19:22.920 --> 00:19:24.200 Hey, t. 390 00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:31.160 I should have sayen the national anthem right there. We're 391 00:19:31.160 --> 00:19:33.359 not about to start yet, So if everybody needs to 392 00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:37.039 hit their vapor real quick or smoke a cigarette. This 393 00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:39.079 is the time to do it will be starting shortly. 394 00:19:39.400 --> 00:19:42.519 You can hear those I'm trying to get oxygen. 395 00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:44.960 All right, maybe okay, maybe this one. You can explain 396 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:45.480 this one then. 397 00:19:46.039 --> 00:19:48.000 So I want to thank them for letting us be 398 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:50.680 able to do things like this, to have awesome. 399 00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:52.960 Yeah, they have awesome. 400 00:19:54.039 --> 00:19:58.559 But people started clapping, so I was trying to go 401 00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:00.079