1 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 1: This is pet Life Radio. Let's Talk pets. 2 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 2: Hello, feline friends, Welcome to Katatude. I'm your show host, 3 00:00:27,239 --> 00:00:30,960 Michelle Burn and today I have an amazing author who's 4 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,880 going to share her book with us, and I am 5 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,920 just very excited to have her on. It's a memoir 6 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,200 and I think all of us with cats can relate 7 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:41,920 to this book. We'll be right back. 8 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 3: Cats may have nine lives, but what if we could 9 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,880 give them one more? That's the mission behind that Give 10 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:55,320 Them Ten movement from spee and neuter to adoption, fostering 11 00:00:55,399 --> 00:00:59,359 and helping community cats thrive. Give Them Ten is working 12 00:00:59,399 --> 00:01:03,640 to give cat the chance at at healthier future. Together 13 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,519 we can help give cats the life they deserve. Learn more. 14 00:01:07,879 --> 00:01:11,799 Meet Scooter the Neoter Cat, and join the movement at 15 00:01:11,879 --> 00:01:13,719 Give Them ten dot org. 16 00:01:17,519 --> 00:01:30,879 Speaker 4: Let's talk pets on Petlifradio dot com. 17 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 2: Welcome back everyone. I'd like to welcome Louise Watts. She 18 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,640 is the author of Slow Blink, a memoir. Louise, welcome 19 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:39,400 the cautitude. 20 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,040 Speaker 5: Thanks so much, Michelle. That was a lovely introduction. 21 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 2: Well, it's lovely to have you. I love your accent, 22 00:01:45,159 --> 00:01:48,799 so you're worldly. So we were talking a bit before 23 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,239 the show, you're Australian, you're based in Portugal, you've lived 24 00:01:52,239 --> 00:01:55,599 in the US. Do you find cats different in places 25 00:01:55,599 --> 00:01:57,519 you've lived or they're pretty much all the same. 26 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 5: You know, here in Portugal, well, particularly Lisbon where I live, 27 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,319 you never see them on the streets. They're indoors. And 28 00:02:06,439 --> 00:02:08,960 probably the reason they're not on the streets so because 29 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,840 the streets are crazy, the traffic is crazy, the streets 30 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,400 are tiny and windy and cobblestones, so you know, presumably 31 00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:20,159 people keep them indoors because they're safest. Whereas in the US, 32 00:02:20,199 --> 00:02:23,560 of course they lived in Colorado, cats were indoor, outdoor 33 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,919 in the winter, mostly indoor. In Australia it's quite different 34 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:36,719 now because cats have decimated our bird life and Australians 35 00:02:36,759 --> 00:02:40,759 are very into their environment now wildlife and now flora 36 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:45,159 and faunath So there are rules now about keeping your 37 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:48,280 cats indoors, and if they're outdoors, they need to wear 38 00:02:48,319 --> 00:02:51,520 a bell around their neck so that they alert the 39 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,159 birds that they're coming, which you know, I think I 40 00:02:55,159 --> 00:02:55,919 think is a good thing. 41 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 2: You need to love that a goosebumps didn't know Australia 42 00:02:59,599 --> 00:03:04,199 are so just did something. I think they stopped declining 43 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,919 nationwide or they did something nationwide, but I can't recall 44 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,520 what it is. 45 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,759 Speaker 5: You mean regarding cats. 46 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,520 Speaker 2: Yes, you know, I don't know. 47 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,599 Speaker 5: Michelle, but the one thing I'm very aware of is 48 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,319 the bells around next and the preference is that you 49 00:03:19,439 --> 00:03:20,639 keep your cats in doors. 50 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 2: I agree. I agree. I live in a warm climate 51 00:03:24,039 --> 00:03:26,919 and my cats are indoors. They have a cadio, but 52 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,800 they could decide if they want to go in or out. 53 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:33,319 In some areas that's more rural, yeah, they could be outside. 54 00:03:33,319 --> 00:03:37,400 But mostly I say keep them indoors. Okay, Yeah, so 55 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:43,360 let's talk about slow blink. Okay, first, I'm so curious 56 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:48,400 what made you decide to write the memoir? What inspired you? 57 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,879 Speaker 5: It sat with me for thirty five years, this story 58 00:03:52,039 --> 00:03:55,560 because it happened when I was probably around thirty I'm 59 00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:59,039 sixty six now, when I was nearly married, living in 60 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:04,879 Boulder and color and this stray cat lived on the 61 00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:09,319 premises of the townhouse complex where we lived. And the 62 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,000 story really happened over the course of about a year, 63 00:04:12,039 --> 00:04:17,360 and it was quite extraordinary for me. And I'll fast 64 00:04:17,439 --> 00:04:22,600 forward and say that it was quite magical, mystical, otherworldly. 65 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,920 Several of the experiences I had with this, with this 66 00:04:26,079 --> 00:04:31,079 feral cat, so much so that when I shared some 67 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,879 of the things that had happened, people didn't believe me. 68 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,279 And when people don't believe you about mystical experiences that 69 00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:41,920 you have, you tend to sort of shut down or 70 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,639 keep quiet about it, particularly back then that was nineteen 71 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:49,800 the late eighties, I think the late eighties, and as 72 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,000 a young person, as a thirty year old, perhaps I 73 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,839 still didn't have the kind of all the voice that 74 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:58,720 I have now, and so I just shuddered away. I 75 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,800 put the story away, the whole experience away. I did 76 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:06,040 actually initially write it on little Q cards, because that's 77 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,240 sort of what you did in those days as a writer. 78 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,480 If you had ideas, you journaled them or you put 79 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:13,600 them on que cards. And I kept those que cards 80 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:17,759 for years, even moving countries, and then finally at some 81 00:05:17,879 --> 00:05:21,240 point I let them go. I let those que cards go, 82 00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:27,120 but the story never left me. And I moved apartments 83 00:05:27,319 --> 00:05:29,759 two and a half years ago. I used to live 84 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,279 out on the coast, and I decided, well, I'm going 85 00:05:32,319 --> 00:05:35,879 to move into Lisbon and have a city experience. And 86 00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:39,360 when I did that, I wasn't particularly comfortable in the 87 00:05:39,399 --> 00:05:42,800 apartment in which I moved to. So I thought, I 88 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,519 really have to get into a creative project. I've got 89 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,839 to do some writing because that's what I tend to do. 90 00:05:49,519 --> 00:05:53,720 And the story came back to me. And as happens, 91 00:05:53,759 --> 00:05:59,639 I think sometimes just synchronous events occur and you feel compelled, 92 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,879 you pull off and experience perhaps that you put away 93 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,279 and do something with it. And that's what happened. Was 94 00:06:08,319 --> 00:06:12,920 actually a movie I saw. It was the twenty twenty 95 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:18,199 five animated movie that won the Academy Award called Flow, 96 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:22,959 and it was about a black cat that goes through 97 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:28,560 some pretty harrowing experiences and because of its cross species 98 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:34,480 connections with other animals, it manages to survive a cataclysm. 99 00:06:35,199 --> 00:06:39,160 And it was almost like I was seeing Archie, this 100 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,360 stray cat that had come into my life thirty five 101 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,480 years ago, on the big screen. And so that was 102 00:06:45,519 --> 00:06:48,519 the synchronous event. Yeah. I came out of the movie 103 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,000 theater thinking it's time to write the story. So I 104 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:55,199 just sat down and I wrote it in about six months. 105 00:06:55,439 --> 00:06:58,920 Speaker 2: That is quite a story about your story. Wow. Yeah, 106 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,079 I think times have changed. I don't know if times 107 00:07:02,079 --> 00:07:04,360 have changed. I'm one of these people that I think 108 00:07:04,399 --> 00:07:08,480 things happen sometimes that are unexplainable and coming from I 109 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,600 have my definitely have my left brain experience because I 110 00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:16,439 have two business degrees, so you am. You know, in 111 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,480 grad school we actually had a class about a shaman 112 00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:24,079 and crystals because you need to sometimes think differently than 113 00:07:24,279 --> 00:07:27,399 you do. You know, you have to think open your mind, 114 00:07:27,639 --> 00:07:30,319 and I think that's one thing cats do to us. 115 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,959 They make us open our mind. We don't have a choice. 116 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,560 With dogs, you don't have to be I don't think 117 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,000 and I'm a dog person too, I'm both. But you know, 118 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,160 dogs friendly pet on the nothing's gonna happen. Cats you 119 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:45,000 have to know them, yes, have that understanding with them. 120 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,360 You have to get them. Tell us about the straight 121 00:07:48,399 --> 00:07:50,959 black cat that is the hero of the story. 122 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 5: Okay, Well, as I said, he appeared in the town 123 00:07:54,839 --> 00:07:59,480 home complex where my husband and I lived, and he 124 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,439 was probably about two years old at this point. He 125 00:08:03,519 --> 00:08:06,639 was in pretty good condition. He was living out of 126 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,560 the dumpster. Boss him and when I would come home 127 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,959 from work, I would approach her and approach him. He 128 00:08:14,079 --> 00:08:17,279 wasn't He was very skittish, so he would sort of 129 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:21,240 run off, but I would always just say Hi kitty, 130 00:08:21,319 --> 00:08:25,279 and I was always curious about where he was from. 131 00:08:25,959 --> 00:08:30,120 Perhaps he lived close by, but increasingly I was aware 132 00:08:30,279 --> 00:08:34,440 that he was always around the dumpster in the town 133 00:08:34,919 --> 00:08:38,480 home complex. But there was a day when I was 134 00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:43,360 upstairs working from home, and we had a balcony that 135 00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:48,399 was abutting the upstairs one of the upstairs bedrooms, and 136 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:52,480 I was just at my desk, working away, and suddenly 137 00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:56,799 there he was staring at me through the sliding glass door, 138 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,080 and I stared back at him, and we had this 139 00:09:00,159 --> 00:09:04,960 moment where I realized he was just as curious about 140 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,480 me as I was about him. He was watching me, 141 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:10,879 and you know, I felt that he had sensed where 142 00:09:10,879 --> 00:09:13,879 I was in the apartment because he had to climb 143 00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:17,200 an apple tree in our front yard to get up 144 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:21,000 and jump over the balcony railing to be able to 145 00:09:21,279 --> 00:09:25,120 stare in that glass door. And this was the this 146 00:09:25,279 --> 00:09:29,120 was our first kind of close encounter. So that was 147 00:09:29,159 --> 00:09:31,399 the beginning. That was the beginning of something. 148 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 2: Yes, and that's that's unusual for a feral cat. Having 149 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:40,039 had two very unusual Let's talk about the title. So 150 00:09:40,159 --> 00:09:44,159 the title slow Blink has a special meaning. Can you 151 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,960 share that with our audience? Because not everybody knows about 152 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,679 cats and blinking. 153 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:53,759 Speaker 5: Really really well. That's interesting because back then I didn't either. 154 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,840 Of course, there was no internet, but I was very 155 00:09:56,919 --> 00:10:02,720 aware that this cat would communicate with me lea slow blinks. So, 156 00:10:02,799 --> 00:10:06,639 for instance, I was very chatty with him always in 157 00:10:06,759 --> 00:10:09,919 order to try and you know, filled some kind of 158 00:10:10,399 --> 00:10:13,399 friendship with him. He still wouldn't let me get close, 159 00:10:13,519 --> 00:10:16,039 so I would sort of just talk to him. 160 00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:19,559 Speaker 2: Did you know that cats? And I've heard this a 161 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:21,799 few times, so if I'm wrong, someone will send me 162 00:10:21,799 --> 00:10:25,879 an email. But I've heard numerous places that when cats 163 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:29,320 me out, it's not so much for other cats, it's 164 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:33,039 for the humans. Yes, yes, so when you stay talking 165 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,360 to your cat, I said, yeah, it makes perfect sense, 166 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,879 because that's how they don't really mew for other cats. 167 00:10:37,919 --> 00:10:40,440 It's for I mean, maybe in fights or something, but 168 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,960 that'll be more of a yal, But mostly when they're 169 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,879 mewing or telling us doing something, that's to tell us 170 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,960 do something for me whatever they're you know, willing to 171 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:49,879 figure out what they're doing. 172 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,399 Speaker 5: Yes, And I've actually since learned. Actually writing the book, 173 00:10:53,399 --> 00:10:56,600 I did a little bit more research about feline communication 174 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,960 and feral cats don't me ow. They don't tend to 175 00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:05,679 me out. They learn it from people. So you know, 176 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,960 once they become more domesticated, if you like, perhaps they're 177 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,159 spending more time with us and we're communicating with them 178 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,039 and talking. That is one of the ways they begin 179 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,720 to communicate with us. They meow, and of course they 180 00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:21,720 do tell us in their meowing what it is that 181 00:11:21,759 --> 00:11:25,519 they want. But the slow blink is similar. And again 182 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,639 I didn't know that this was part of feline communication 183 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:33,919 back then, but when I would chat away to Archie, 184 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,879 he would perhaps sit and he would just do this 185 00:11:38,159 --> 00:11:40,440 very slow blink was almost as though it was a 186 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:44,240 blink in slow motion, and it was always so endearing. 187 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:48,960 It was just so sweet. And I've since learned that 188 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:57,039 feline behaviorist animal behaviorists understand this slow blinking as the 189 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:02,000 cat's way or their gesture of showing the trust and love. 190 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,840 So that's just so beautiful. 191 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 2: Yes, I think it is too. When I first found 192 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,919 that out. My most stoic cat is Molly, so I 193 00:12:09,919 --> 00:12:14,519 would look at her and tried doing blinks. Sometimes she 194 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,960 all blink back. It depends on the mood. It's worth 195 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,799 getting better we know each other. After ten years a 196 00:12:19,799 --> 00:12:23,279 little better than we used to. Let's talk about also, now, 197 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:27,440 this barrel cat is black. I had shows on black cats, 198 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,240 several shows. I've heard about the Black Velvet Club, which 199 00:12:31,279 --> 00:12:33,960 I don't know if that's just for dogs. When I adopted, 200 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,799 I saw there was a picture of a dog. But 201 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,559 that's for dogs, I believe, and cats, for some reason, 202 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,559 they're not adopted as much. Everyone that I've adopted. All 203 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,759 my dogs were black with markings. And Molly's tuxedo, well 204 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:50,519 she adopted us. What do you think is interesting about 205 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:55,039 this era of mystique or sometimes you know, there's a 206 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,240 lot of superstitions about black cats. Did that, you know, 207 00:12:58,399 --> 00:13:01,120 deter you or have any Did you have any part 208 00:13:01,159 --> 00:13:04,159 about that when you were, you know, communicating with their 209 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:04,840 barrel cat? 210 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:08,159 Speaker 5: No, not at all. I thought he was absolutely beautiful 211 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:13,399 because his coat was just raven black and he had 212 00:13:13,519 --> 00:13:16,399 just exquisite green eyes. There's a picture of him on 213 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,799 the front cover. He's looking a little bit annoyed with 214 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,720 me because I was up close trying to take a 215 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,039 photo of him. But this superstition around black cats I 216 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,200 do find disturbing, and I do wonder if it's because 217 00:13:28,279 --> 00:13:33,000 we associate the color black with the dark, with the night, danger, 218 00:13:33,759 --> 00:13:38,159 the unknown, perhaps what lies beneath the surface of life, 219 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,320 and so perhaps it's association with the deep or the 220 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:48,159 mysterious parts of life and our existence simply yeah that 221 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:53,399 we can't see or fully rationalize that that causes or 222 00:13:53,519 --> 00:13:59,240 generates some kind of mystique around them around black cats. 223 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:03,559 From a cultural perspective, sort of alluded to that too. 224 00:14:03,639 --> 00:14:07,759 The black hats have been associated with the supernatural across 225 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:13,879 many cultures. In ancient Egypt, they were revered and harming 226 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:17,759 one was illegal. Killing a cat was punishable by death. Unbelieve. 227 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,759 In the Celtic tradition, the black cat arriving at your 228 00:14:21,799 --> 00:14:25,759 home was a sign of prosperity. But in medieval Europe, 229 00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:29,679 for instance, they became associated with witchcraft and the occult. 230 00:14:29,759 --> 00:14:33,600 And I think that's one that particularly has infiltrated our 231 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:37,799 I don't know our psyche as somewhat damaging. 232 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,919 Speaker 2: In fact, I absolutely agree we need to take a 233 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,639 short break and we'll be right back. 234 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 5: Talk to the par hid Amy Suing. 235 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Jeane Lynch. 236 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 1: This is Mandy Boyne. 237 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:51,399 Speaker 5: Hi. 238 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 3: There is Caturine Pagel. 239 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: There's only one nation that gives you the Scoop on 240 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,279 Wagging Tongues, Antails and Who's Walking Hill in Rent and 241 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:04,360 tencil down on pet Life Radio, The tail Wagger, Let's 242 00:15:04,399 --> 00:15:04,919 Talk Past. 243 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 2: Let's at Life Radio, Wetline Radio. 244 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:20,559 Speaker 6: At life Radio dot com. 245 00:15:20,759 --> 00:15:23,759 Speaker 2: Welcome back everyone. We're talking to Louise Watts. She is 246 00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:27,720 the author of Slow Blink, a memoir. So, Louise, I 247 00:15:27,799 --> 00:15:31,320 want to ask you about this. Your book is about 248 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,039 several things. I mean, it's about loss, it's about grief. 249 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,000 It's about loving something that you can't keep. I mean 250 00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:39,320 a lot of people have experienced this, and I know 251 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,000 it's two different things. Grief, well maybe intertwine a little, 252 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,600 and then loving something you can keep. What do you 253 00:15:45,799 --> 00:15:49,320 hope readers take away from your story that relates to 254 00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:51,120 those feelings. 255 00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:54,759 Speaker 5: Well, I think one of the things that I kind 256 00:15:54,759 --> 00:15:59,039 of conclude the book with is this designed that love 257 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:03,960 doesn't end when letting go begins. It simply changes form. 258 00:16:04,399 --> 00:16:06,960 And the grief is not linear. It doesn't follow a 259 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:11,639 tidy arc from loss to acceptance. It circles back, as 260 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:15,799 in my case, it ambushes you years later, and it 261 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,600 hides inside other losses, which I think I sort of 262 00:16:18,679 --> 00:16:21,720 try and weave that through this story. You know, writing 263 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,559 Slow Blink thirty five years after Archie died, taught me 264 00:16:25,759 --> 00:16:30,879 that grief has its own timing and that unprocessed grief 265 00:16:31,519 --> 00:16:36,639 waits until we're ready to process it to meet it. Also, 266 00:16:36,759 --> 00:16:40,480 animals give us permission to grieve. There's still a cultural 267 00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:44,240 tendency to minimize the loss of an animal. It was 268 00:16:44,399 --> 00:16:47,600 just a cat, which I know some people have thought 269 00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:50,399 when I have shared something of archie story with them, 270 00:16:50,519 --> 00:16:54,399 and this kind of really feels or leaves you feeling 271 00:16:54,559 --> 00:16:59,720 isolated in your grief. And I hope Slow Blink gives 272 00:16:59,759 --> 00:17:03,440 read permission to take their grief seriously and to honor 273 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,319 the depth of what they felt the connection they had 274 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,359 with their kiddy, because the bond was real and the 275 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:15,759 loss is real. So I suppose I hope readers take 276 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:20,880 away that your grief for your cat is not small, 277 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:26,480 it's not embarrassing. It's the resonance of something profound that 278 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:31,759 happened between two creatures some very different worlds who sound 279 00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:32,200 each other. 280 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,599 Speaker 2: That's an amazing way to put it. That's how I 281 00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:39,759 got amazing. Now, did you adopt other cats after Archie? 282 00:17:40,079 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 5: You know, Michelle, I didn't. This also might sound I 283 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:48,519 don't know odd or not bizarre, but I loved him 284 00:17:48,839 --> 00:17:52,799 so much, so profoundly, that when I lost him, I 285 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:56,519 thought I could never never have another cat. The pain 286 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:01,519 was just too great, and he was soul and so unusual, 287 00:18:01,559 --> 00:18:07,039 and the experience was so otherworldly. I felt it surpassed 288 00:18:07,759 --> 00:18:12,680 what I could ever give another cat. Now something is shifting. 289 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,279 I mean, thirty five years later, a lot has happened, 290 00:18:15,799 --> 00:18:17,880 and I still have a sense that our chie is 291 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,839 around me, and I do think one day, yes, I'll 292 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,599 open my heart to another cat, because every now and 293 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,680 then I encounter friends cats and I just love them 294 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:32,000 so much. I think, Oh, I think I'm almost ready 295 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:32,680 for another one. 296 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,359 Speaker 2: Well, we each have our time, you know, we we do. 297 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,160 We do some people, you know, we need to adopt 298 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:42,400 right away. Some people just can never do another. That's 299 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,039 their cats, all made for life. Yeah, I don't know. 300 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,160 Mine find me, So I don't know what to say 301 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,000 about that one. 302 00:18:48,079 --> 00:18:50,319 Speaker 5: Well, they do. I think that's one of the mysterious 303 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,880 things about cats is that they find us. 304 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 2: Why do you think they do that? Is it food? 305 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:55,799 Speaker 1: Like? 306 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,880 Speaker 2: How do the cats? I live in a warm climate, 307 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,559 so there are sometimes other cats and so forth. I 308 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,359 wonder how they know this is the house that will 309 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,799 feed you when there's just a we do have a 310 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,240 water fountain outside just for cats. Is that the giveaway? 311 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:11,680 Do they just know who to go to? 312 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,440 Speaker 5: No? I think that there might be something to that, 313 00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:17,519 and of course the rational side of me always feels like, oh, 314 00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:21,519 they're very much food driven. And as I understand it, 315 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:26,200 cats came out of Africa, that domestic cats are still 316 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:30,200 genetically are very much connected to wild cats of Africa, 317 00:19:30,559 --> 00:19:36,960 and as communities and civilizations encroached on their space, they 318 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,680 sort of lived at the periphery, and of course living 319 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,880 on the periphery of villages, towns, cities that had access 320 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,240 to food. So it may well have been very food driven. 321 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,759 But of course, as all your listeners will know who 322 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:57,839 have cats, they're very independent and they have maintained that 323 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,359 sort of I don't know, African war wildness about them, 324 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,599 that African wild cap quality about them in their independence, 325 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,119 and so yes, perhaps there's an element of them being 326 00:20:09,279 --> 00:20:14,119 food driven. But I think also over eons they've learned 327 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:19,240 that human companionship probably offers them more than food, and 328 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,759 I don't know what that is because there's something very 329 00:20:21,839 --> 00:20:24,839 unknowable about cats again, and coming back to this idea, 330 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,720 there's something quite mysterious about them. I seem to sort 331 00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:31,960 of observe and watch us, but from a very detached place, 332 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,279 unless they're ready to be stroked or comforted. 333 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:38,920 Speaker 2: Yes, in a way, I think that's smart, their way 334 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,519 of saying, leave me alone when they want you, I'll 335 00:20:41,559 --> 00:20:45,599 let me know, let you know, I'll know exactly. That's 336 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,559 actually smart. Too bad that you're humans. We can really 337 00:20:48,599 --> 00:20:52,920 do that sometimes. So what do you hope that readers 338 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,240 when they read Slow Blink take away from your book? 339 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 5: I really do think it's as simple as love person, 340 00:21:00,599 --> 00:21:05,200 even when we must let go, there's solace in this 341 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:12,880 persistence of having loved. However fleeting and how ever inexplicable 342 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,960 that connection is. It doesn't die with with the body. 343 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:21,200 It continues, and so in times of loss, I think 344 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,319 we can draw on that, and I think that that's 345 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,960 what I wish for for readers of Slow Blink. 346 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 2: And what would you tell readers that read your book 347 00:21:31,079 --> 00:21:35,079 and listening to you thinking about adopting a cat? You 348 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,200 know some people can hear how you know about you know, 349 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,200 with everything, there's joy and grief, there's there's happy. You 350 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:45,319 know there's contrasts. So for somebody reading and listening to 351 00:21:45,319 --> 00:21:47,559 you saying, oh, I want to adopt a cat, but 352 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,720 it'll be hard if something happens, or you know, what 353 00:21:50,799 --> 00:21:54,119 would you say to those listeners, Oh gosh. 354 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,559 Speaker 5: I think if you're drawn to caring for an animal, 355 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:02,160 go to a shelter, visit with the cats, see if 356 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,759 there's a particular cat that you're drawn to that's drawn 357 00:22:04,839 --> 00:22:08,480 to you. I think, make genuine inquiries at the shelter 358 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:13,119 about what's involved in caring for a shelter cat, because 359 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,599 oftentimes I can be traumatized. They might have been abandoned, 360 00:22:16,599 --> 00:22:20,279 they might have been abused, and there's a responsibility in 361 00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:25,519 caring for a cap from a shelter. And I think, personally, 362 00:22:25,559 --> 00:22:28,720 this is just my personal feeling that it's important that 363 00:22:28,759 --> 00:22:32,559 we understand the responsibility of care, and so I think 364 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:37,319 just make inquiries. Open your heart and make inquiries. Go 365 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,039 to a shelter and investigate. 366 00:22:39,279 --> 00:22:42,640 Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Luis. Where can our listeners find 367 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,559 your book Slow Blink a memoir? 368 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,599 Speaker 5: It is on Amazon That is actually the only place 369 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:52,160 that it's available for purchase. So you would just go 370 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:57,440 to Amazon and put in slow Blink a memoir by 371 00:22:57,519 --> 00:23:01,799 Louise Ross, and it's all so available long kindle. So 372 00:23:02,039 --> 00:23:05,680 that's the soft cover, all the paperback and the kindle version. 373 00:23:06,079 --> 00:23:09,319 Speaker 2: Okay, thank you so much again for coming on Catitude 374 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,680 and sharing your story with us and telling us more 375 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,400 about Slow Blink a Memoir. 376 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 5: Thank you so much, Michelle. 377 00:23:16,039 --> 00:23:19,319 Speaker 2: I hope everyone enjoyed the book again. It is called 378 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:23,759 slow Blink, a Memoir by Louise Ross. Thank you for 379 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,480 listening to our show today. I want to thank my 380 00:23:26,559 --> 00:23:30,880 cat crew, Dennis, Charlotte and Mollie who I've had slow 381 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,279 blinks with all of them at one time or another, 382 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:38,319 mostly Dennis and Mollie. Thank you to my listeners of Catatude, 383 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:42,240 I appreciate you so much again. Thanks to my guest, 384 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,359 the author Louise Ross. Thank you, of course to my 385 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,720 amazing producer Mark Winter for all you do. He works 386 00:23:49,759 --> 00:23:54,440 his magic and makes every shallow sound amazing. And always remember, 387 00:23:54,759 --> 00:23:57,319 lose the attitude, have Catitude. 388 00:23:58,519 --> 00:24:03,079 Speaker 4: Let's talk best every week on demand only on petlive 389 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:20,240 radio dot com