Speaker 1: Okay, so we'll get to the first challenge right now.
We have boats, we have coffins, and we have three leaders.
Rob Colton and Stevens.
Speaker 2: Called Tea Gas time to get a snack?
Speaker 1: What mission, Bomber. I was going to go to you
and go what, and then you said the question. I
was going to ask.
Speaker 2: Tea Gas time to get a snack. These missions suck.
You could call them filler if you want. That's just
one word, so much fun to call it tea gas.
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you for the breakdown.
Speaker 4: Pots Hi loan.
Speaker 1: Welcome to a very exciting dare I say seminal moment
of twenty twenty six, the premiere episode of Peacock's and
also peacock Figure it Out? You know what they do?
They have the they have on the homepage the Traders
podcast show, but not Traders anyways. It's the first episode
of Traders, our favorite show. Welcome to Bad TV. I'm Dylan.
That's Pat, great to be here.
Speaker 3: And Ruby, Hi del Hi, Pat, how are you great?
Speaker 1: She's fresh off a halal cart not too spicy. Caylin
is joining us as well. How are you buddy doing great?
So season four is upon us. We have the great
Alan Cumming apostrophe or no parentheses s joining us once again.
Now we broke down Traders Australia at Patreon dot com, Slash,
another podcast network. And while we love being in the
Traders universe, right, Traders Australia just does not have the
same pomp and circumstance as this version of the show.
Alan Cumming brings his own. You know, we talk about
peacock energy to the show, but I think the thing
that separates this iteration is what we saw on display tonight.
Innovation just granual, little rule changes the stakes in the competitions, right,
We're not just glazed over watching people operate, you know,
kind of looney tunes train track carts and throwing balls
at zombies or whatever they are. You know, there are
actual mistakes to this, but we have an all new
cast and we're just very very excited. We're gonna be
doing three weeks of this show on the free feed
and then after that the remainder of the show will
be at Patreon dot com, Slash, another podcast network, So
get ready head over there, donate a little or a
little bit more.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of stuff on this feed, so there's
gonna be multiple episodes of traders you're going to see
below deck on this feed and real housewives of Bely Hills.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god. So listen, I posed
to you too. Before we get into our shoulder taps,
I want to I want to highlight because there's way
too many traders and faithfuls to go through off the rip.
Who are some people that were excited to see on
the show?
Speaker 2: First off, I want to ask you guys, So we're
just going to discuss this episode, and we should not
touch on any.
Speaker 1: Oh no, because if there's anything that's gotten me in
the most trouble with our beloved fan base, it's spoiling traders.
And I agree, I don't want I completely agree with them. Okay,
I mean I've named episodes like Goodbye X person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, crazy people get mad at you for that, Well they.
Speaker 1: Should get mad at me.
Speaker 2: So but I'm saying, in our discussions now, before someone
we find out someone is a trader on this episode,
can we say that they are? No?
Speaker 1: No, no, we speakologic episode as though we have not seen
the next two.
Speaker 2: But I'm saying, specifically, say someone's a trader that we like,
can we acknowledge them as a trader before we find
them chronologically ten minutes from now.
Speaker 1: Yes, O, yes, of course, but we cannot talk about
the secret trad enough, fair enough, whether we've seen them
or not.
Speaker 2: By the way, I want to say this, and I
want to say this loud and clear, because I understand
that people I have a Trader's casting agently agent currently
following me on Instagram. I'm considering it, but that's not
what I'm going to talk about. You guys took my
idea about having a trader be hidden from the audience.
That's an idea that I came up with last season.
That's my idea, and you put a spin on it,
which I'm gonna I'm gonna say that you did. You took.
You took a little bit from.
Speaker 1: I watched five.
Speaker 2: No, I want five thousand dollars right because I'll give
you a break on the price. But that was my
idea and I love it.
Speaker 1: That's a fifty thousand dollars idea.
Speaker 2: Fine, twenty K. I'm still getting a deal, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'll let your sparring.
Speaker 2: And Brian my Asian will negotiate it. But you guys,
you're gonna get a letter.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's important to remember that Brian should only correspond
over the phone and letters, not in person, and not
over zooms because he is mangled and burned. So Rubes,
let's talk about some people that you were excited to
see on this season of The Traders. Okay, so what
happened there was there's a little bit of a delay,
but also Ruby took a sizable pause there. So what
happened was there was a giant pause that turns into
an actual giant pause. And what's happening is she's processing
right now the lamb and the chicken and the white sauce,
and so it's just taking here a little bit of time.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, it's burning. I will say this, I think
that Lisa Rinna as a Trader was brilliant. I think
pairing her as we've seen in this episode only in
this episode with loud mouth rat Candace and this man
who I do not know from Love Island, h Rob
and Brenna, I think may aligne and I cannot wait
for that to happen. So that's what I feel. I
also am very excited to see Colton Underwood. I think
that he is newly settled into his sexuality. And I'm
not being sarcastic in any way. I think he's fucking funny,
and I think that he might be fun to watch
and very astute, and I'm excited about that, and I
will leave my people there.
Speaker 1: I think those are good people. Pat pat pat is
dare I say.
Speaker 2: Repulse first off, not at Rubies picks here. But I'm
just I don't know how because I'm struggling to find
out who I would have been excited about, because I
have no fucking clue who Ninety percent of these people
are coming into this. I touched on this on another podcast.
They are really straining and stretching. Who exactly is a
quote unquote.
Speaker 1: Celebrity they always have. None of the people who have
been on this show have ever been celebrities.
Speaker 2: I mean the two skater people. They haven't been relevant
since like there was an earthquake and loss.
Speaker 1: Johnny wears on every Winter Olympics broadcast and I watch.
Speaker 2: This the Winter Olympics well, and.
Speaker 1: Also but he also commentates on all of the kind
of national regional ice skating competitions that I think air
on USA or c S.
Speaker 2: They have a dude that was famous for being on
a show called One Tree Hill. Just for context, most
of America will dialogue would clear when that.
Speaker 5: Show was fucking pop alright, So okay, by the way,
no no, no time out, I'm out, do not speak
for thirty seconds, Ruby, go ahead.
Speaker 3: Stephen COLLETTI is from Laguna, be long before. It's like,
I thank you for defending me, Dylan and Pat. This
is not coming at you because I know that this
is probably that Stephen, Okay, whatever. One Tree Hill also
New Thought so so so news. Like it's like it's
like it's like what you were saying is like so
unbelievably fun. Like have you ever heard of Chad Mncklemurray
ever in your life? Because if you have, You're welcome
Onontree Hills. That was from One Tree Hill saying you're welcome.
That show was not It was not on dial up.
It was it was when the OC was happening. But
it was in North Carolina. It wasn't slutty Orange County.
It was slutty East Coast in trees with seasons. Okay.
Amazing show tracks, Gavin de Gras theme song, Patrick my God.
Speaker 2: Oh another one, Hey Ruby, to be fair, The timeout
is up? Yeah, Hey, Ruby, I talked to a casting
agent that cast him. They were to put his current occupation,
which was barista, but they thought putting one tree hill
would make him look sadder.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: Speaking of Stephen Colletti, I'd like for us to pay
a little bit of attention to the way that Pat's
cuff of his zip up jacket is. He's got his
cuff over his thumb, kind of like that, kind of
like Stephen COLLETTI would when he's breaking up with Kristen
or saying I'm gonna miss you, but I've got to
go to college in Santa Barbara or something.
Speaker 2: But by the way, another note on casting, there are
again several people I have no clue who they are,
And I was thinking, like that girl that gave her
liver to Selena Gomez, was she too busy to show
up here? Because that's how low the fucking bar was.
Speaker 3: For a minute, I was like, oh my god, which
one of them was that. I was like, that's great.
I didn't and then you that was the joke. I
would think that actually that girl would be a great
gut for this show, because someone who was on Big
Brother isn't a celebrity, you know. It's like a housewife.
Half the fucking people don't watch these shows, but then
that's why we're here.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, Mark from Dancing from the Stars, Hello, bottom
of the barrel? Can you hear that sound? Hey, it's scraping.
Speaker 1: I think the horse is dead. And while Caitlin's laughing,
I think we get the point. So I literally texted this,
I mean, what seven hours ago can you think of?
Here's people you're excited about now that you were goa
fucking die. Try for seven minutes about how these people are.
Speaker 2: Where are you gonna be? We got forty five minutes
to kill here, dude. Okay, fine, here are my people
and I'm just getting to know them. I was shocked
by Rob from Love Island. I love that dude. He's
playing the type of gameplay I play. I love Tiffany.
I'll explain. I love Tiffany.
Speaker 3: Wait, pat ernest question, is he a good guy or
an asshole?
Speaker 1: No, he's an asshole, but you just like his game play.
Speaker 2: I love his gameplay, and I'll explain Tiffany. I love Tiffany,
and I also love Kristin. I have a little crush
on her from Top Chef. This is how you win traders.
You are a fucking fly on the wall. You are
a good if you can be, be a generally good person.
Do not make waves. You must listen all the fucking
time and never ever be loyal to anyone. But you
keep that to yourself. There is no such thing as
being loyal, right, And that's how you win this game.
Speaker 1: I am excited for the the the the What was
that comic book store that the Nerdist had? Oh for
a while, it began with an M. It was like, anyways,
Ron Funches is from that era?
Speaker 2: Did you do a podcast with him?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Soccer?
Speaker 1: No, but no, that was Ian Edwards. But I remember
what we Caitlin and I met Ron Funches many times
at the Corolla Show, and he was always so sweet.
And one of my favorite moments of Ron was when
he was on the show and he said to Adam Corolla,
oh my god, you are racist. So I'm super excited
to see Ron on the show. I'm super excited to
see Michael Rappaport, who is the Tom sand of all
of this season. I mean, he's just so bad at
this game.
Speaker 5: I can't believe how bad he He's so annoying and
so bad.
Speaker 3: But and running for New York City mayor.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's happening four years.
Speaker 1: Take it easy.
Speaker 2: I don't know if he's going to live that long.
Speaker 1: Okay. So the other person that I'm excited, I mean,
we we always like to see somebody that we're rooting against.
And the person that I'm rooting against more than anyone
is Mama Kelsey. Mama Kelsey's woe is me. I'm just
a small town puppy child baker here too. You know,
I'm so intimidated by all of you celebrities. Miss me
with the bullshit. Okay, you've met the fucking Obamas, you
met everybody in this country. Because your family is a
lot like apple Pie. It's love. It's very American, and
I don't want fifty fucking slices of it every fucking
day of my life. Okay. So I am rooting for
Mamma Kelse to be summarily executed quickly. It's gonna be
a great season of this show, and we should get
into our shoulder taps right now.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: Okay, Ruby should go first. We've been talking too much.
Speaker 1: Rubes go ahead.
Speaker 3: Okay. I think that this season is going to be
really good because the gamers, although I don't know anybody
from Big Brother, can't name them, never seen them. Those
people play very differently than the Survivor people.
Speaker 1: Do know anything about And sorry to cut you off,
but do you know anything about the gameplay of Big Brother?
Like are they just like roommates, because all I've seen
a Big Brother is like Mickey Rorik calling Jojo zeewa
lesbian or something. I don't even know what the show is.
Speaker 3: I don't have anything to clarify for you.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, Okay, there, all right, Sorry, go ahead, Rubes shoulder taps.
Speaker 3: I think that you get to see these strategies come
out with the Big Brother people trying to just be
friendly and people like Natalie being like, we need to
align with this boat immediately, and it's just I like
when we have a mix up, and then you have
people like Lisarina who's like, oh my god, I haven't
thought about a shield at all since you said that,
which I just I think there's so many good dumb
people as well and good smart people. Strong opening the
eighty two shoulder taps.
Speaker 2: Great casting despite the fact I don't know anybody, because
it just the intermixing. Once you get to know these
people like it is. The casting is genius, quite honestly,
and I'm loving the gameplay so far. It's fascinating. They
just cannot do any wrong, and I love the changes
that they've made, especially with the Secret Trader. Although I
would make this point to the producers. Part of being
the Traders and the power of being a trader is
you have the sole choice as the traders to pick
who you want to kill at night, and by letting
the Secret Trader whittle it down to four that you
get to pick would take away the true power of
the trader. So you're kind of you get my.
Speaker 1: Point, neutering.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're neutering there, like cutting one ball off, which
kind of takes away the whole point of being a trader.
But that's whatever. Well, they'll figure that out. They'll figure
that out. But I'm still waiting for my check twenty grand. Anyway,
I'm gonna give it ninety shoulder taps.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to give it ninety shoulder taps as well.
I know that there's plenty of room for more shoulder taps,
maybe even ten. I thought that the casting is so fun,
and as we mentioned on.
Speaker 4: We'll.
Speaker 1: I guess I'll just get to this. Let's get to
this now. One of my favorite things early on in
the episode is Johnny Ware and Lipniki trying to keep
it under wraps that they know one another. You're both
ice skaters, even if you weren't the best of friends.
People in this game are really dumb. I mean, look
at Michael Rappaport. So people will We've had Tom Sandoval,
Tom Sandoval, even if you guys didn't know each other,
it never met. If you were both ice skaters, Tom
Sandival would make it his mission to get rid of
you because you've both ice skated. So the fact that
you're trying, you know, Actually, the people over at A
twenty four watched that episode of Tom Sandoval singing and
they turned it into a horror movie called The Undertone.
It's coming out in March. Anyways, thought the think the
casting is really really great. I think the inclusion of
a secret trader is so fun. The beginning, just welcome
to the show. Here's your task, go and act. It's
just our favorite show and I'm so excited to get
into it. So let's do just that. The pyrotechnics this
year are unbelievable.
Speaker 2: Job like the level of a Nickelback concert. You know,
I watched a documentary about Nickelback, and you're not gonna
believe it. It made him even lamer than I thought
they were.
Speaker 3: Like, wow, I do, I do believe it. The more
you learn, somehow it feels like you wouldn't be like, oh, wow,
those guys are actually really cool, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was the exact opposite. I'm like, they're lamer than
I thought they were, and that's possible.
Speaker 1: So this is what and this is why you listen
to this show. What happened when Pat was writing his
notes was Pat saw the pyrotechnics and he was reminded
of that documentary and about nickel Back, And then he
wrote that he watched the doc just a jotted down
so he didn't forget Nickelback. Very famous band in the
in the early aughts.
Speaker 2: Right around Gavin de Graw and Stephen whatever the fuck
is names.
Speaker 4: Look Blendy's graph.
Speaker 1: All right, Ron Funches, we already talked about him. Sorry.
We arrived at the Manor and there are I mean,
there's flames everywhere, there's blood in the fountains, and Derinda
is wearing Rena's lipliner. Now Rina wants to be the
most iconic trader ever, and she's going to use every
tool in her knapsack to do so. That includes acting,
that includes being a business woman. And here I wanted
to just leave some space for Pat to talk about
the launch of Rena Rose and how when we saw
it on TV, you literally could not get it anywhere.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Lisa thinks, well, I was gonna say, Lisa thinks
her acting skills are going to help her pull this off.
And yeah, and Oj Simpson definitely didn't cut two people's
heads off with a trial. It ain't gonna work out.
Speaker 1: Oh can I tell you something? It was so fun
the other night. Well, it wasn't because my child was sleeping,
but outside the window, my wife and I are stirred
awake by fifty police cars driving ninety miles an hour
down our street. And Ceci goes on on the on
the old app. She pulls up a live footage traffic,
a speed chase. What do they call it? High speed chase?
High speed chase. So we got to witness the We
followed the high speed chase through our neighborhood. It was
actually crazy. We've been there, you know. And actually he
just gave up and then he started laying on the
ground and there were I'm not even kidding, twenty police
cars and I'm just like, can you imagine this guy's
just laying on the ground. Reverse Jesus, somebody's getting raped
right now. And they're calling LAPD and they're like, sorry,
we're standing around watching a guy lay on the ground
right now. I actually can't do anything.
Speaker 2: There's a guy who he was a guy driving in
like twenty police cars are chasing him. A fucking helicopter
tracking him, smashes into another helicopter, two helicopters, everybody dies.
The guy get charged with five He got charged for
their murder.
Speaker 1: Well, that's not right.
Speaker 2: That's that's the law.
Speaker 1: It's like a GTA chase. Hey, I am so sorry
that I mentioned it, Kayln. Cut that from the podcast.
Speaker 2: That is all right, okay, okay. So the player's chat
and yam yeah is it jam or yeam yeah, Ruby.
Speaker 3: Ruby Sorry alert alert Cayln. Leave this part in uh
pat GTA really in reference to crazy car things. You
don't know what that is, Yes you do, Patrick, Come.
Speaker 1: On, two helicopters colliding in air and exploding, and I say,
GTA and you don't know what I'm talking about, do you?
Of course? I mean this is Riot you and Pikachu
kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's just nuts.
Let's move on.
Speaker 3: I didn't mean to cut you off. Pot you continue,
it's grand theft auto okay.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, all right, but I don't play video games
like you.
Speaker 1: Okay. So the against a manga jam or yam jam jam.
Speaker 3: It's both. It's it's it's jam. Yeah, it's whatever you want,
it's jam jams jam.
Speaker 2: Well, him and Colton comment on a few players from
Big Brother and Survivor and how they were able to
play dumb and pretend to be something they weren't and uh,
and Colton's like, I couldn't do that. I was like,
don't sell yourself short. You did three seasons on the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Well this is and and we'll get to this later,
but there's a moment where Colton Underwood says, un ironically,
you know I'm going to be pretty good at this
because when I was younger, I played linebacker. People would
look at me and they didn't think I could hit
that hard.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: Burying the lead a little bit, you went on a
heterosexual quest for love and you cock. Yeah. Yeah, so
I think that's the reason why you're going to be
good at the game. Anyways, Rob Brousch a very pretty
girl named Dumaura, I.
Speaker 2: Think maur Yep, she looks like a sex doll.
Speaker 1: Okay, he said that, like the N sixty four was
wrapped on Christmas morning.
Speaker 2: I was watching a YouTube video and they're selling this
dog for forty grand. Right now, that's a robot. I
think we're like, he plays with you. Yeah, it never dies,
that's look it up. Well, there's that. There's that housekeeper
robot neo that will do your dishes for you and
clean your oven and stuff like that vacuum. The only
catch is that it's twenty thousand dollars and in order
to train it, Scandinavian guy has to operate it for
like six months. Oh wow, remotely. So there's just a
guy named Fjork looking at everything ever.
Speaker 1: Seen in your house? No thanks, we'll wait for the robots.
Rob Brousch is a robot himself. Mara comes up to him.
She looked like a sex doll.
Speaker 2: By the way, Rob thinks he's going to be good
at this because he screwed over a bunch of girls
that he's dated. Yeah, well practice makes perfect.
Speaker 1: She says, we should be friends, I think, and he
falls asleep, standing up and then face pushes her. So
we see the great and powerful Alan Coming and his
even more powerful powerful curl the prize pool. You would think,
given the popularity of the show, they could bump that
up a little bit, but they don't need to. Derinda
would come out for one hundred grand I mean, you know,
this is a big platform. It's a really big platform.
If there is a trader left, they win it all.
If there are no traders, the faithful split the pot.
But there is a difference. This season, Alan Coming will
be choosing a trader in plain sight right now. Another
reason I love this is because, as aforementioned, welcome to
the show, Mama, Kelsey, Jam Jam whoever you are, this
is a trial by fire of how to fake it
till you make it. In this game, you have to
walk down look in a casket or a little little
what if this is like a humidor or something, and
you are going to.
Speaker 2: Jewelry, little jewelry. But you know if you're the trader.
Speaker 1: And if you are, you're gonna have to walk back
in front of all of your cast members and not
wear it on your face.
Speaker 2: You'll not to undercut your thing here. But I think
because no one knows anybody, and no one's had an
opportunity to kind of observe reactions. Uh huh, it's a
pretty easy play to stare at that card because no
one no.
Speaker 1: I understand. But but but my thing is that the
American version of the show gives us all those opportunities.
It's really good producing because you may not get stuff
from these moments, but at least you set the trampoline
for the kids to do backflips on.
Speaker 2: Okay, fair enough, I am never in my wildest dreams,
just looking they showed most of the people get their
reactions when they saw it. Never in my wildest dreams
what I have guessed who was that secret trader?
Speaker 1: I want to apologize that that that whole uh metaphor
of the kids doing backflips on the trampoline, that was
a little nuts. But it's okay. We'll move on. Not
a ton to single out here, but when where this
is where Colton says that he'd be really he's going
to be really good at this game because he was
a good tackler. And we then head back into the house.
Now we have no idea who got the secret trader.
That's what secret means secret. So we start with a
trader staple right out of the gate, and that is
stating the obvious. Tara Lipniki says, one of us is
a trader.
Speaker 2: Lisa renn has got a couple of those tonight too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so Ruby, who.
Speaker 2: Someone's going to die tonight? Oh?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 1: Ruby? Who is j Jam?
Speaker 3: Jam? Jam is a wonderful man. He he was placed
in a very very subpar situation I find remembering correctly
on his Survivor's season, like he repeatedly was just losing, losing, losing, losing,
just shitty, no nothing, and then he won. And he's
just a likable guy who I think owns a hair
salon with his husband.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Jamjam versus Michael Rappaport, Hey, Michael Rappaport, You're
gonna need to hit the gym a little bit, buddy,
because no chance.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm good at trash talking.
Speaker 1: Okay, No, you're not. Jam Jam's dismantling, Okay, you are going.
Speaker 3: It's like jam Jam becomes unhinged in a very different way. Michael,
Michael needs to superglue his hinges back on. The screws
are gone, they.
Speaker 2: Popped off, but at least the hinges.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he has the hinge on forbot it. He
needs to glue it really quickly and then shove it
back or just to be hinged, you know. And I can't.
Speaker 2: I love later on when they're at a round table
and yeah, I mean I like lifts up with the
you know that's bored with Michael's name on. It is
like I chose you, Michael because you deserved it?
Speaker 1: Are we? I think we're It doesn't happen.
Speaker 2: I'm saying it doesn't. It doesn't.
Speaker 1: There's no okay, right, okay, and I want to be
who is Mona do exchange that?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I do not watch her, pauls, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: My understanding is she'd been on like three different seasons
of that. Okay, who is who is Natalie.
Speaker 1: Incredible Survivor?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she'd won as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think she oh no, no, I thought she
was she was on I don't know if she was
on All Stars. I feel like I've seen her twice
on Survivor.
Speaker 3: You have she was on with her sister one time.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she's really really good.
Speaker 2: She's really good. Now this is probably happens after the
shoulder taps, but she announces to like a group of
people that she's going to be a trader. Hunter clearly
hasn't watched the show or listened to this podcast, because that.
Speaker 4: Is a dumb move.
Speaker 2: So right, don't announce yourself number one rule of play.
So fly on the wall.
Speaker 1: Jam Jam and Mona Exchange are very right about Mamma Kelsey.
She's the perfect casting choice for a trader.
Speaker 2: Can I say this though? Who cares if she's a
perfect casting choice.
Speaker 1: Because you don't have a lot to go on in
the beginning. Fact that, honestly, that is the strongest clue
early game that you can go with. Who would production
choose Candace? And when we'll get to this in a bit,
but like, just take obvious swings in the beginning because.
Speaker 2: You're thinking viral moments, like the most.
Speaker 1: There are people that you're not gonna cast. I don't
know if you're not gonna make Eric the secret right
exactly so you don't have to worry about him. But
Candace Michael Rappaport, as we've seen in the past, like
Boston Rob. The show picks people who they think would
be good at it, and sometimes it's pretty fucking obvious.
I love Tiffany playing to get her son through college,
and we've seen the ethical motive come out on top before,
so I think that there's something that imbuse your spirit
and the game if you are really doing it for
a good reason, you know. I don't know. Maybe it's
just woo woo, unlike Mamma Kelsey, who's here because the
fucking FBI or whatever entity wants to fucking diversify the
family's profile. I don't fucking know that. The Anyways, we
get to the roundtable and our trader selection.
Speaker 2: I must say, and I want to hear what your
thoughts were when you saw the three shoulder taps. I
was a bit disappointed at the choices initially.
Speaker 1: Okay, So our choices are Candace, who says, I mean, anyways,
Candace Rinna, who wants to call Harry Hamlin and tell
him immediately.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna call Harry.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine I call Harry? I'm a trader.
Speaker 3: It's great, okay, honey, Okay, all.
Speaker 1: Right, that's me and the girls are going to Gelson.
So we'll talk to you later.
Speaker 2: Your grandmother's outside, No, your mom's outside.
Speaker 1: Lois, Honey, you're not gonna believe it. Lois is outside.
She's torturing the dogs again. Oh no way, she's he
her too, I just saw her.
Speaker 2: She can't be two places at once, just be a
bird or a ghost.
Speaker 1: There you go, Angel. Next up? Well, yeah, is Rob
the snake charmer.
Speaker 2: Rob's a snake charmer.
Speaker 1: Well, he doesn't so much charm them as he does
jump on them violently and grab them by the throat,
which to some people is charming.
Speaker 2: Now if you're now now, just to go back to
you two talk, or maybe it was mostly Tellan talking
about who would producers pick as a great casting choice.
Rob would not be a great casting choice because no
one knows who the fuck he is.
Speaker 1: I know, but every season you get obvious choices and
not obvious choices.
Speaker 3: Okay, I disagree. I think that People Love Island was
a massive fucking deal this year or last year. I
think we're actually probably the only like. I think it's
weird that the three of us all don't know who
he is, and I.
Speaker 1: Can't watch shows that are on every night that aren't
game shows.
Speaker 3: It's too much. And also it's too much. And when
they don't make their beds, it's too anxiety inducing. You
can't do that every day.
Speaker 1: And also, don't give me the love Island is a
game show. It's not a game show. Okay, it's a section.
Speaker 2: Okay. So in my mind I thought definitely either Dirinda
as a housewife or Renna.
Speaker 1: Derinda would have been really good from getting from getting
eliminated in the first episode to trader would have been amazing.
Speaker 2: Right, So I I think Renna will be the first
trader to get exposed, just because I don't think she's
going to be good at this.
Speaker 1: Well, we'll see. I'm good with the traders.
Speaker 2: Should we do our picks right now? Who we think?
Just as we're so early in the first episode, who
makes it to the end? We might as well because
we have no idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want to go for it? Yeah, why do
you start?
Speaker 2: I think I don't. God, Hey, guys, get in the comments.
Has any an OG trader ever made it to the end?
I'm not talking about a trader that got initiated later
in the game. We've seen that play over a few times,
a o G trader. Because I think that's an achilles
heell getting picked.
Speaker 1: As the OG. You're done.
Speaker 2: It's hard to get through the entire game, is that,
if there is one. I'm loving the way that Rob
initially plays this first episode as a trader. He's the same,
He's playing a great game. I like him. I think
Kristen's playing the kind of game I like, which is
fly on the Wall.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that Kristen is a really, really strong contender.
I think Eric is too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Tiffany Tiffany as not to get ahead of myself.
I think she has a little too much heart for
mister Rappaport, and he may sink her later on, but
I just like her. She's super smart and she's observant,
which sometimes can get you in trouble with dumb clues.
But uh, I've gotta say it's one of those three
that makes it to the end interesting.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I like the the Kristen pick, but yeah,
we'll see. I also think Duet x Monett is doing
great in this first first three episode run. But yeah,
I mean it should be a little bit more obvious
to us, but.
Speaker 2: It's a it's hold on. I want to point out
who has won in the seasons that we've watched people
that have been flying the walls genuinely nice. Right.
Speaker 1: I think Ron Funches has a really, really good shot
of getting late into this game. He's such a sweet guy.
Speaker 2: We'll get there.
Speaker 1: So the we head out of the meeting and we
already have some slip ups. Rinna is struggling instantaneously with this.
She's very nervous, she's very goofy, she's very loud, but
that's just kind of who she is. So she may
be able to do a good job. Natalie, I think
steps in in a bear trap. She's incredible on Survivor.
But we've never seen the faithful monologue work really. Yeah,
when you stand up in front of a bunch of
people and profess yourself to be a faithful and that
you're committed to the faithful cause, it just hurts you.
It's not it's it's a flashlight.
Speaker 2: The way you gain trust with faithful is through bonding,
through time and your vote patterns.
Speaker 1: Right, there's no amount of saying. But the worst of
all the players so far is Michael Rapport, who stands
in the foyer amidst a dozen people, maybe even a
baker's dozen people, and says, mathematically, want to use a
fucking trader and want to use a trade.
Speaker 2: Well, he refers to the two groups, the gamers and
the housewives. Now he's absolutely correct in pointing this out. Sure,
but he's being an idiot because he's breaking Patty's rule
and he's not correct.
Speaker 1: There are two housewives and no gamers. But he's correct
to think like this. Just don't just glue the hinges
back on.
Speaker 3: Them, Michael, glue the hint. You need to get the
glue back because your hinges are we need the doors
back on you are. You may be right, you may
be wrong, but either way, if the door was closed
and your hinges were glued on, it wouldn't ruin you.
And you need to stop speaking completely. I think if
he has any chance of getting past week two in
this game, he can't talk any anymore.
Speaker 1: Ever, Now do you fault? Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2: Well it's funny because we've seen this happen where and
Michael will fall into this. Sometimes they don't even think
you're a trader. They just are so annoyed by you
they will get rid of you.
Speaker 1: The raccoon boy, the Australian with butthole eyes, suffered this faith,
and we don't think you're a trader.
Speaker 2: We just don't want to hear you anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's a tough pill to swallow. We're not
doing this for any strategy, any gameplay, really any reason
other than we do not want to be around you.
Speaker 2: We strongly dislike you so well. Michael claims to be
a fan of this show, and for someone that watches
this show, he just he's like a five year old
on fucking ridlin. He's fifty nine.
Speaker 1: Right, right, he is. But he's a big Housewives guy,
big Housewives guy, and I think that people will see
that if they follow his Instagram account where And he's
walking down New York City streets screaming at people about
I don't know, fucking derate anyways, well Israel lately, but
usually it's de rate. Wow. Yeah, by the way, yeah,
yeah that's true.
Speaker 2: Well. Uh, Michael Rob who's newly anointed Trader, walks into
a room and Michael twenty seven goes, hey, you and
I are gonna have a fucking problem because you're too quiet.
And I got a real problem with quiet people because
you're sneaky.
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, listen to me, your good looks and you're quiet.
It's not gonna fucking work. It's gonna be a fucking problem.
Ye cry so roubes, go ahead, what would you do?
Speaker 3: I'm not kidding. I thought that Rob handled this like
a champion, which is why I'm excited to see him trade,
because I think as he trades, he's going to be
he handles absurd shit like somebody, for example, yelling in
his face, you're a fucking trader. We know that you're trader.
You're a liar, You're a trader. He would be like,
you're all right, that you're you know, fink whatever you want.
I this was absurd. This was like that act, that scene,
and this is forty when Leslie Mann finds that the
child that was texting her daughter, That's what this felt like.
It's like, what do you do? What do you even do?
It's just so crazy? What's going on?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think she tells the child that he looks
like Tom Petty.
Speaker 3: Yeah she does.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, let's get to the turret. Renna and
Candice are revealed and make a sound similar to a
coop of chickens being machine gunned to death, and then
Rob Rausch heads up and we are reminded that there
is one more Trader left. Big time Twisty says Lisa.
Really love it. Let's break down the role of the
Secret Trader. Now, the Traders do not know who the
Secret Trader is. The Secret Trader does not know who
the Traders are. But the Secret Trader will be writing
a short list for the Traders to select from. This
is not an open field. There's a curated list of
possible victims from the Secret Trader. Now, this was your idea,
and they owe you twenty thousand dollars for it. It's
also how many of these subtrifuge games are played. Secret
Hitler has this mechanism I think Mafia does, but you
don't want to give It's a way to neutralize the
power of the Traders a little bit. And I love
this inclusion because the Traders have to wrestle with one
not having a full field of people to kill, possibly
having their names on the list, which is what we
see with Rob tonight, but also having to be careful
of who they banish because they're trying to sess out
who their shadow ally is, which just makes the game
that much more interesting.
Speaker 2: As well.
Speaker 1: We'll get there okay, so Rob Rausch heads up and
and oh no, this is where they meet. Okay, so
we'll get to the first challenge right now. We have boats,
we have coffins, and we have three leaders. Rob Colton
and Stevens called.
Speaker 2: Tea Gas time to get a snack?
Speaker 1: What mission, Bomber. I was going to go to you
and go what, and then you said the question.
Speaker 2: I was going to ask tea Gas time to get
a snack? These missions suck. You can call them filler
if you want, but that's just one word. F so
much fun to call it tea gas.
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you for the breakdown, pot I would have
been lost in the woods.
Speaker 1: I still very much am because I.
Speaker 3: Well Dylan Dylan, Dylan Dylan. But when you're viewing these challenges,
are you gleaning anything other than which I will say,
it's hard to row. It's very difficult to row. Many
a childhood fights were started because of the inability to
row with two of us. Also, were you about to disagree?
Speaker 2: I know I'm a law breaker here, but why bring
one coffin back at a time? I would we all
have hands here, right, grab a coffin. We're gonna drag
like six back one trip.
Speaker 3: You have to hook it Patrick with my.
Speaker 2: Shock like Billy the Kid, Matthew McConaughey. All right, all right,
all right, okay.
Speaker 1: He's weird today, and I gotta say I love it.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna drink a but no, I'm sorry. What's that
brand that we're sponsoring?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Big SIPs?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a big sip. Okay, I've slept four
and a half hours, I've watched nine hours of television.
Speaker 1: Teetha time for a big sip. I like it? Yeah,
me too? So can I break the fucking game?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Sorry? Okay.
Speaker 1: So there are three boats and we're going to be
rowing out gathering coffins, towing them back. Now, the games
are more filler than normally the rest of the show.
But what the American version does is throws wrenches in
the contests. This wrench is upon bringing the coffin back,
you will select a grave with a name on it.
That person will be up for elimination. So however many
they get, they will get the most money, and then
the more money, and then more people will be up
for elimination. So you throw this thing into the game
of people having to be strategic about who they're putting
up for elimination, which I like quite a bit. And
we see that it really it kind of leads to
a lot of contentious opinions. Michael Rappaport is beside himself
that someone would put.
Speaker 2: I can't fucking believe. Yeah, this is wor shit, Michael,
we hate you.
Speaker 1: I looked at that grave plot and someone had to
make their way around to the second road to put
my fucking coffin in that grave.
Speaker 3: And they're like, no, Michael, we all did it together.
We know we don't want you here, and that's why.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So Johnny falls Colton pulls a coffin up onto
the boat, states the obvious. The more we put in
their graves, the less room they'll have to put in ours.
The Red and the Green team have teamed up and
they are wiping the White team away. Stephen from Laguna
Beach says, I guess I'm not a great leader. Are
there leaders in this contest? Like, Stephen, you're not leading anybody?
Candace orchestrates Donna. Yeah, I think Candace says, we we
got to pull.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Attempts to okay another Traders tradition, the Christopher Nolan manipulation
of time. Now, Nolan does it with Master for Storytelling,
Traders does it with Chiron's and countdowns. Okay, we are
always in every challenge one second away from succeeding or failing.
Speaker 2: So just like that time piece you know, or that
little coin spinning around.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah right, I hate Uh.
Speaker 1: You're speaking of inception, you're speaking of the totems. Uh,
And I agree, it's not what it's not. It's not
his best.
Speaker 2: Van going off that bridge. I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 5: Right, they keep cutting to it, and I'm like, well
this is a yeah, yeah, yeah, and it does get
a little null and he's like, well, in when they're
falling off the bridge, it takes seven seconds, but here
it takes seven days, and down there it takes four years.
Speaker 1: And my wife is okay, got it. So Ron rob r, Donna,
Eric Michelle, Ian Darinda robs Mark are all up for elimination.
Not only are they up for elimination, but they have
to cover their graves with dirt brutal. Now, Donna is
a nasty player. Are in a vile creature? She says,
don't get mad, get even she is this wolf and
sheep's clothing are a wolf and grandma's clothing. Okay, this
woman is a threat and a danger to everyone on
this cast. And this this cookie house pullshit. Don't fall
for it. Okay, we get moving I mean, am I
the only one that is tired of this family?
Speaker 4: I haven't?
Speaker 1: I mean, my god, get in the comms.
Speaker 2: This is the first time I've been acquainted with miss
uh miss whatever their name is.
Speaker 1: Right, but you've been acquainted with the brothers Cherravis, Yeah,
his girlfriend, Jason, his lovely wife. And again they're lovely.
But I'm sick. I've had so much. So we get
moving back and Porsia is still pissed that they almost
put a coffin in her grave. Porsia, calm the fuck
down to Porsia, I would say, glue the hinges back on.
As a second to Michael Rappaport in terms of being
horrible at this game, is Porscha ribes go.
Speaker 3: Ahead, Porsia is, I will say, though she's this is
what her hinges are like. The contractor came in and
he was like, man, they're fully screwed on that. You
didn't lose any This is just Porsia. I do not
know Michael Rappaport on a personal level. If this is
really what he is like in his everyday life, that's interesting, Porsia.
I can't explain why it's more acceptable to me, but
it is, and based off of what we've seen on Atlanta.
She's nutty and fun and I think it'll be fucking
hilarious to watch.
Speaker 1: She has the biggest ass I've ever seen on a
human being. I mean, it is the size of a star.
It's ridiculous, It's beautiful. Okay.
Speaker 2: I love asses. Yeah, small ones, big ones, flat ones,
tall ones, poofy.
Speaker 1: You have a tall ass.
Speaker 2: I love them. And I love him in those blacks
stretchy pants now as he shows everything. Okay, I love
it as.
Speaker 1: Kay can you fly that please?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 1: Ribs, do you have anything to say or just can't it?
Speaker 2: Head?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: No confusion? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: Hey, So we're going to talk about in the van
where Candace makes this blunder right, yes, which was so stupid.
It's not like I wanted to win, but I hope
she learns from this. If you're going to lie from
a strategic standpoint to get something to.
Speaker 1: Do, you cannot have a witness.
Speaker 2: You can't have a witness. So she says she heard
Michael Rappaport say something along the lines of let's get
a housewife, right okay, which he did not say. Ron
Funches was right there and later on he's such a
sweet guy and is right there as a witness to
say that was not said.
Speaker 1: But she mentions this in the Core with Portia and
Mara from Loving Laura. Now, what Candace knew and what
we were ignorant about, or are ignorant about, is that
people who are on Love is Blind or Love Island,
they're not necessarily witnesses. They're more like mannequins who just
fucking drink and sit in the back of cards. Because
when she is when she is asked to corroborate this,
she goes, oh god, no day.
Speaker 2: Had she been able to coroborate that, that could have
been the end for Candace, and that would have been
a quick ending for her right now.
Speaker 1: Rapaport, to his credit, when Porsche brings this to him,
he goes, let's get everybody involved. Let's get everybody involved.
Speaker 2: You got Ron, I thought, and by the way, everybody
was in the kitchen. I'm like, oh my god, we're
going to see a Trader go down in the first day.
It's never been done before.
Speaker 1: We get to the Turret and the Secret Trader Shortlist
Renna Candace, excuse me, and I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: Okay, it was still it was.
Speaker 1: It's very dry out here and it's doing things. My
agies hiccop and then my sneeze. I sucked in. It
was disgusting.
Speaker 2: We're almost near the finish line, the Secret Trader provides me.
Speaker 1: I think it was the Mic and Ikes. Honestly, we
had Mike and Ikes and it it glommed me up.
I think it's what happened, and I want to say again,
I apologize. So the Secret List and I love calling
it the Secret.
Speaker 2: List me too. The Secret short List Ian T. S
s l.
Speaker 1: Okay Tea Gas. You know, I want to name the
episode that, but no one will have a fucking clue
what it means, and when they listen to it, they
still might not. Okay. So the t SSL is Ian
who is a Big Brother player, Mark who is on
Dancing with This, Eric who is a world renowned singer,
and the Snake Charmer. Now the Secret Trader put the
Snake Charmer on this list. Now he's a Trader so
now he has to worry about this goddamn fucking Secret
Trader blowing his shit up, because you could surmise that
if the Secret Trader is shortlisting you, they will be
politicking against you in the house. So that's something that
you got.
Speaker 2: To be a little Here's what's interesting about these really
early on lists, like that you can't actually kind of
glean anything from him because nobody knows anybody yet. Like
I'd love to ask the Secret Trader what was behind
this list?
Speaker 1: I would love and we have not had this really,
but I would love for the Traders to come out
and take a fucking swing just they say that we
don't want to rock the apple cart. Every season it's
always kind of like a milk toast murder on the
first night. Take somebody out. Put people on fucking notice.
We're here to kill and we're here to recap. Get
in the comments, let us know what you thought about
the first episode of The Traders. We're so happy that
the show is back. I had to patroon dot com,
slash another podcast network for the full season, Real Housewives
of Salt Lake reunion coming up and all so much Moors.
I'm Dylan that's pat Hi and Ruby say goodbye. Nailed
it
Speaker 4: Into spas