Speaker 1: In the year twenty seven fourteen, a new squad of
Opera Davis was chosen by the College of Illusion. These
fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at every opportunity. Today,
still working together, because really, who else would work with them?
They survive as adventurers of fortune. If you have a problem,
if no one else can help, and if you can
find them, maybe you can hire the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: Falzoni, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag and.
Speaker 4: Jesse Wicks as Bill Crilliance.
Speaker 3: Nico Rodriguez as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing Tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 3: Where last we left our hero, they had entered the sewers.
They had given Old Percy a chance to look up
from the sewer grats from time to time, each one
with the exception of Bill, allowing Percy to scout out
where they were at A couple of poor rolls put
them a little off their beaten path to the library
where they're currently going. It's not a good groundhog, and
they had to backtrack a little bit. Unfortunately, whilst backtracking,
they came across a an evil entity that had many forms,
and they fought both the crocodile from the sewers, the
Toxic Adventure, and then finished with penny Wise, the giant
erecnid clowne that left poor Adeira dying writing in the gray,
floating in the gray. They all feel, you don't even
have to name this episode now, it's just floating in
the gray.
Speaker 2: We all float down.
Speaker 3: Here, not all of us jokes here.
Speaker 4: Joke's on you. I'm gonna name the last episode that
You're all gonna be confused.
Speaker 3: What's it mean?
Speaker 5: Why is Thor crying?
Speaker 3: Sorry? All right, so, Adira, that means we have a
special move we have to do, right, Yes, what is
our special move? Uh?
Speaker 6: The upper hand? You take plus one ongoing to last
breath rolls. When you take your last breath on a
seven to nine, which I got an eleven, uber achiever,
you make an offer to death and return for your life.
If death accepts, he will return.
Speaker 5: You to life. If not, you die nothing on a.
Speaker 3: Ten plus all right, So you have to make a
last death roll or last breath room, last death last
breath roll, and you got a.
Speaker 5: What an eleven?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 3: So on a levin. You cheat death. You're in a
bad spot, but you're still alive. Eddie, Bill, you run
over to Adira to help lift her from the water.
She coughs out the gray, disgusting sewer water right onto
Bill's shirt, which you're already covered in the gray as well,
considering you were tussling with the crocodile down there. And
she is. Her arm looks severed, like the muscles in
her right shoulder have just been ripped to shreds. And
this is how you find her?
Speaker 2: What you getting for that one? Bill?
Speaker 4: She's unconscious right now, nothing right now. She can't hear me,
absolutely not. What the fuck he's gonna blame me? It's
not even my fault.
Speaker 7: I think I'm gonna go find Percy under the sludge,
and you a't come up by his collar, cause that's doom.
He's still under the sledge like hiding out. Oh yeah,
old first breath or whatever. It's got a little snorkel.
Speaker 2: That's it. I'm gonna gonna plug the snorkel till you
comes up. Cars person. You got to guess that library quick.
Speaker 7: And then I going to cast Tenser's floating disc because
I prepared that today, and.
Speaker 2: That is a nine on the cast.
Speaker 7: All right, So I suppose I will take a minus
one ongoing, okay, and then.
Speaker 2: Bill help me get her up on here. I said,
we could see it because the slunge.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can, definitely.
Speaker 2: We'll drag her up on the disc and you can
have that to holler along.
Speaker 7: Not that she's baked anyway, all right, sheould probably grab her.
Speaker 8: The other answer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, her arms still attached, but you can see
not by much death grip. It's attached by the skin,
all right. So you get her on the floating disc,
You grab her weapons and her pack, and you put
it all on the floating disc.
Speaker 5: The weapons are probably hot, they were on.
Speaker 3: Fire, and uh well they fell in the gray water.
So and you start heading off. He takes you the
rest of the way. He leads you down the sewer,
you wade through the water, and he leads you up
to the point where he was able to see the
last time he poked his head above, you know, out
into the city and leads you up the stairwell that
opens up into the basement of a of a library.
So he climbs up first, opens it, crime climbs into
the room re lights the torch a torch from his pack,
and looks around and quietly waves you up the stairs
to follow. He's putting his hands down to try and
help pull up Adira. If you want to push her up.
Speaker 7: All right, we'll uh yeah, he'll push her up while
he's you know, helping from the top. Get up there,
and I'm gonna send him. Listen, person, you know you're
around a little better than we do. We got attend
to these wounds. I need you to go as quick
as you can, get bandages and clean water. I know
person needs to go get more and clean water. Boil
the water. I'll come straight back with it.
Speaker 9: Okay, don't boil the water.
Speaker 2: Boil the water, not in the library anywhere. Boil it
before you bring it back.
Speaker 3: You just hear a deer mumbling in her sleep.
Speaker 5: Don't boil the water, fever dream.
Speaker 3: Don't be all right? So he takes off to go
do that.
Speaker 7: He yeah, I'm gonna cast care wounds out of dera.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: Hold Orman, that's a seven.
Speaker 3: What do you want?
Speaker 2: What are your options forget it?
Speaker 7: Another minus one, ongoing or draw attention. So I think
I'm gonna take minus too ongoing.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's not what I thought you were gonna choose.
Speaker 2: So that heals five hit points.
Speaker 3: Okay, Adira, Your arm starts to the muscles start to
regrow and stitch themselves back together. And yeah, and I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Cast it again. Okay. Nine this time I'm gonna forget it. Okay,
that's eight hit points.
Speaker 3: You come back to consciousness. Just as you feel your
arm fully piecing itself back together, there's a soreness in
your shoulder, and you find yourself laying on the floor
covered in disgusting filth.
Speaker 4: And as she starts to wake up, I'm gonna clap
my gongs together.
Speaker 3: It was amazing to do. I think you passed house
from all the exertions. He kills the shit out of that.
Speaker 5: And with not a scratched the.
Speaker 3: Should remember she's poisoned as well. Right now, there's poison
coursing through her vein.
Speaker 4: What sor it's a nine, So it's a nine. So
that's whatever you want to do with that. Oh yeah,
but that'll be seven hit points of healing. And you
don't have an enchantment on your mind. So the next
time somebody successfully helps you with aid, you get plus
two instead of plus one, I guess, because you don't
really need damage on going.
Speaker 3: So so that's why you guys have potions anti toxins
anything like that.
Speaker 4: I don't did we use our last anti toxin?
Speaker 5: I don't know if we do.
Speaker 2: I still have an anti toxin.
Speaker 4: I think we had one left.
Speaker 2: One left, yeah, so I want to give that to
a deer here.
Speaker 3: This Just as a deer is finishing drinking the anti toxin,
you hear footsteps and some young woman pokes her head
around the corner. I'm just like, what are you doing here?
What's going on here? Who are you?
Speaker 4: I'm gonna turn around. What what do you think is
going on here?
Speaker 3: You're not allowed to be here?
Speaker 4: Obviously.
Speaker 3: She starts to turn around his guard guards who I'm.
Speaker 4: With the guards. As soon as she turns her back,
I'm on the best best okay. Then change into a
guard's uniform.
Speaker 3: Like one of the soldiers that you saw on the road.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I'm covered in stuff, so I assume that
she'll just think I was dirty as the plan.
Speaker 3: It's a good gas lighter, it's a six.
Speaker 4: Oh that's not my best best.
Speaker 2: I don't know, that's not the best.
Speaker 4: It's gonna be the wrong soldier.
Speaker 10: Here for the other side it is now because I
think that's hilarious.
Speaker 2: She just put uniform.
Speaker 3: Oh no, you put on an Abdur uniform.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, because the Evokers took over.
Speaker 3: All right, So you start calling to her and she's
still calling to the guards. She's like guards, turn and
she hears you. She turns back around.
Speaker 4: So real quick. She looks like a librarian. Yeah, like
she worked here for a while, not like.
Speaker 3: I mean, she looks like she Yeah, she has an So.
Speaker 4: My assumption that would be that if she's a library
and she's been here since before e Vocres took over.
I'm gonna try and go with that. I'm just gonna
look around and be like, listen, keep your keep your
voice down. If you ever want to not work for
the evokres again, do you want to get blown up?
Speaker 3: No, I don't want to be blown up.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell him, you help me.
Speaker 3: Why would you do with that? That's not true?
Speaker 4: Well, then stop fucking calling for him and it won't
be a problem.
Speaker 3: Let me see if anyone hurt. No, all right, all right,
make a uh baker role uh not diplomacy a charisma
over the charisma roll is here? Can I remember the things?
Speaker 4: That's a fourteen parlay?
Speaker 3: Yeah, parlay, that's a fourteen Wow. So she doesn't even
need reassurances. She's just like, oh are you are you
really here to help us?
Speaker 2: Look?
Speaker 4: Yeah, obviously we didn't crawl through the sewers to get
here to not help. But listen, is there like some
towel somewhere and maybe something I can put down? I
should not have worn this obviously.
Speaker 3: We've got robes in the other room down the hallway.
Speaker 4: Yeah, could you show me the rum or? Is it
safe for me to get there? Could you grab me something?
Speaker 3: Why don't you stay here? And now I'll go get them.
I'll bring them right back.
Speaker 4: That sounds like a great idea that you had for sure.
Speaker 2: Me.
Speaker 3: Okay, So she turns, goes down the hallway, gets gets
four robes and brings them back to you.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 3: So what's your name, Abigail?
Speaker 4: I appreciate that, Lisa?
Speaker 3: Lisa?
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I'm kidding. I'm thank you so much. Listen,
while we're here, there is a specific book I'm looking for.
Could you help me? Do you have where would you
keep books on? Like? I don't know magical swords that
are like historical magical swords.
Speaker 3: Like known like for sure or mythological hm both. Well,
there's two different floors. So on the fourth floor you're
going to have your fiction, which is going to have
like mythological stuff. And on the third floor we've got
historical uh you know where we believe there's proof, so
it's more like histories, perfect, nonfiction perfect.
Speaker 4: I will find the book I need and also, uh,
could you point me in the direction of the there's
a room with cursed items. Here is what the commander said.
Speaker 3: Oh, you're already on the right floor. If we keep
that in the basement.
Speaker 4: Okay, perfect, Well we'll get around to that yet. Listen,
I don't want you to get caught up in this though,
so please go somewhere and you never saw us.
Speaker 3: Okay, here, I brought this too. This is one of
the skeleton keys. It will unlock the doors from the hallways,
from the stairwell. Any of the libraries have them, you
can you can use mine is just leave it here
when you leave so I can get it back tomorrow.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I will make sure I do that. Like I said,
you just you make sure you're far away from here.
So that if we do get caught, nobody can link
you to us.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel like I'm catching a cold.
Speaker 4: Yeah for sure. All right, you have a great day, ap, Gail,
thank you so much for all your help. Eddie, you
want to go check on the.
Speaker 3: Cursed items, Yeah, let's go check that out.
Speaker 4: As soon as we're out of earshots. I can't believe
that fucking worked. What they need better security?
Speaker 8: You're just a librarian.
Speaker 4: Oh why did the best best fail? Now I'm just
walking around and uniform under I gotta.
Speaker 3: Wait till tomorrow. The chase, that's confidence right there. Okay,
so you guys go wander around looking for that cursed item.
Speaker 4: Chamber and look at the curse room first, or the
books first, or whatever we want.
Speaker 3: To Again, you're gonna you can see where the stairwell
is just from the hallway. You know, there's a light
and a sign says stairwell, and you can see that.
The key that you have is just a key that
shaped like a skeleton, like a human skeleton, and it's
just a magic key. So you just touch it to
the lock and it unlocks it. Because they're abdurers here.
Speaker 4: And.
Speaker 3: So you could go to the stairwell to go up
to the third or fourth floor, depending on whether you're
looking for fiction or nonfiction, or you could search around
the basement and look for the curse items.
Speaker 2: I mean, we're already right here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's try and get me from here, and then
we'll go up. And I think I think we're probably
looking in the non fiction for what's closer kilos sword.
Speaker 7: Yeah, we'll check their first, and then yeah, we gotta
go up another flight, but go.
Speaker 2: Open another flight.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm my head down the hallway away from the
stairwell and start peeking in rooms.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you wander around, peaking in rooms, and eventually
you do find the cursed Curse chamber curse room, and
it is locked. You know, you try to toudge it,
but the door's locked. But yeah, you find it.
Speaker 2: As she said, there was a spelling key she did
see if it opens.
Speaker 4: Up, all right, I'm gonna tap it and the door
click unlocks.
Speaker 3: You can hear a click.
Speaker 2: Open it up.
Speaker 3: You open it up and you see ten pedestals with
different magic items on each one.
Speaker 2: What's on the first one.
Speaker 3: On the first one, you find a jester's hat.
Speaker 4: There any like plaques or anything on any of.
Speaker 6: Them information plaque? Is this like a museum?
Speaker 3: It is like a museum. It is like a museum. Yeah,
so do you want to go through and.
Speaker 9: Read each item?
Speaker 2: Put them? I don't know about it, Gester.
Speaker 8: Just run around the room and put them all.
Speaker 2: This is going to like have an impact on my place.
Speaker 5: Touch them all.
Speaker 2: Jester's hat.
Speaker 5: Is there any signs or all?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: So, so here are all the items that you can
see without reading the plaques. There's a Gester's hat, there
are some boots, there is a fork, there is a cloak,
some gloves, a big gaudy hat that's like, you know,
one of those giant ones that people wear like sun hats.
There's a belt, a ring, a sword, and an amulet,
and there are little placards on each pedestal.
Speaker 9: I'm kind of hungry, so I want to read the fork.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was kind of thinking of the fork a boy.
Speaker 3: So you make your way over to the fork. You
look at the plaque. It says the indestructible fork. This
fork can never be broken nor lost, but it constantly
attracts food to itself. You will find that no matter
how much you clean, it is always covered in an
unappetizing mixture of condiments and crumbs.
Speaker 2: Gross.
Speaker 4: That seems perfect for your polace of power. Go with
your perpetually stained shirt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just leave it in the sink.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a trophy.
Speaker 8: Bill.
Speaker 3: You noticed that there were a couple pieces of corn
that got flown from your shirt and attached to the
fork as you got near it.
Speaker 2: I know it's a food. It's not food anymore.
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, just because the guy digested once, that's
not food anymore.
Speaker 2: It was food, it's not anymore.
Speaker 4: If she rinse it off.
Speaker 2: No, you know, let's look at that cloak.
Speaker 5: The corn looks like for.
Speaker 3: You, walk over to the cloak. Yeah, it is the
cloak of misplacement. This cloak causes your possessions to randomly
disappear and reappear in strange places. One moment, your sword
might be in your hand, and the next it's hanging
from a nearby tree. The cloak also has a habit
of being slightly too short or too long for it's wear.
Speaker 2: That's hilarious, that's great and inconvenient.
Speaker 11: I'm thinking we have gifts for like the next five
six parties.
Speaker 4: You should take that and give it to Quma.
Speaker 3: Boots boots of eternal dance. These boots force you to
dance whenever you move. You must perform a dance routine
every time you take a step. Not doing so means
you automatically fail any kind of save that requires dexterity.
Speaker 2: So you got a moonwalk out of the way of
a fireball.
Speaker 3: Exactly what's the hat? The jester's hat or the wide
brim hat?
Speaker 9: The wide hat.
Speaker 3: This hat is the hat of perpetual rain. This hat
causes a light but incessant drizzle to fall on you.
No matter where you are. The rain never soaks through,
but it does make everything you wear perpetually damp and
your hair is bedraggled.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna put it on and hold the flaps down
so that it rinses the ship off me.
Speaker 2: It was at this moment that he knew he fucked up.
Speaker 3: Okay, you can't take it off. Now, you can't take
it off.
Speaker 6: You have to wear it all day forever.
Speaker 2: I mean, luckily we're in the abjuration nation.
Speaker 3: This They couldn't decurse these items.
Speaker 2: But they could maybe get it off his head.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's true. The last I don't know if
you remember, but Percy was one of the award winning
decursors of the Abjuration Nation. There's a contest every year.
Speaker 4: Yeah, hey, Percy, how do I get this off?
Speaker 3: He's not here. You left him, You told him to
go away, and then you guys left.
Speaker 12: Oh yeah, you knew the agenda, right, that was a
baffling decision.
Speaker 5: We don't think of the consequences.
Speaker 3: So you turn to say, hey, Percy, how do I
We're all notice we're the same four.
Speaker 2: You know what we're looking for?
Speaker 11: Actually, Wally, it's just that's that's we're just the ring.
Speaker 3: This ring is the ring of over over compensation. The
ring causes you to dramatically overreact to minor events. If
someone makes a simple request or comment, you will respond
with a long winded, overly dramatic monologue about how their
request has changed your life forever.
Speaker 2: I thought it would just give me a giant truck.
Speaker 3: Four wheel drive. About the Belt, the Belt of spontaneous Growth.
You read this placard and and it says, when you
wear this belt, your hair, nails, and beard, if applicable,
grow uncontrollably. Every ten minutes. They grow by one foot.
Trimming them requires a It requires a dexterity check with
a knife or scissors.
Speaker 2: A foot in ten minutes.
Speaker 3: No no, no, do not recommend this one.
Speaker 2: No yeah, the chester, I guess all.
Speaker 3: Right, back to the Jester. The Jester gives you disadvantage
on all charisma checks. Additionally, whenever you try to be serious,
it spontaneously plays a random comedic sound effect, perfect for
a gester trying to maintain their dignity. If a comedic
sound effect is not fit for the situation, instead, a
laugh track will appear that sounds perfect.
Speaker 4: I feel like it's the fork.
Speaker 3: There is also gloves and the sword and an ambulant.
All right, so that you go to the sword, the
sword squeaks. It's the sword of squeaks. The sword squeaks
loudly every time it is swung, like a toy squeaker.
While the sound isn't particularly harmful, it's incredibly distracting and
might give away your position in stealth situations. Also, if
there are any animals that enjoy the sound of squeaky
items such as dogs, wolves.
Speaker 10: Or owl bears who knew, by the way, love squeaky toys,
that's cannon.
Speaker 2: Maybe I got a milk bone.
Speaker 3: The ambulet of bad luck or the unfortunate amulet of
bad luck. This ambulant causes minor inconveniences to c to
a to you at the worst possible time. You might
accidentally step in mud, trip over nothing at all, or
spill ink on an important document. It doesn't cause serious harm,
but will make daily life a series of frustrating and
misfortunate events.
Speaker 2: I don't want that.
Speaker 9: A series of unfortunate event.
Speaker 3: The gloves of unfortunate smells. The gloves a random pungent
odor every hour. The smell might be anything from rotten
flesh to skunk spray. Anyone who approaches you must succeed
on a constitution save or be overwhelmed by the stench.
Speaker 2: There we go.
Speaker 8: I don't match that cloak.
Speaker 7: I think I'm going to steal those gloves since I
need a curst item that seems.
Speaker 2: Manageable.
Speaker 3: So you steal the gloves. Yeah, do you put them
on or just put them in your pack? Okay, okay,
So you take the gloves Bill's wearing the hat, You're
getting cleaner.
Speaker 4: I the I'm just I'm so torn. This is the
correct and incorrect decisions.
Speaker 11: A little storm cloud hanging over your head.
Speaker 3: Anybody else taking anything else?
Speaker 5: What do we need to take an item?
Speaker 9: Is there a reason why we're taking items?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 4: Wait, wait wait, loves cursed items. We should get him
one as a prank.
Speaker 9: I like the boots.
Speaker 8: Give him the ring of Obra, conversation, the belt.
Speaker 7: Let's tell him it's a belt of growth and then
he'll just think it gives him a giant truck.
Speaker 4: Or we get into try on the jester's hat and
then we try and talk him into stuff and he'll
suck at making Christmas checks the stuff.
Speaker 8: You're here to take that, mister popularity.
Speaker 2: You know where we trying to curse our nominal ally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we've probably done nothing to you.
Speaker 4: I was mostly just bringing it up because when we
talked to him, he specifically wanted to know about cursed items.
Speaker 3: He's just suspiciously perfect.
Speaker 4: It's like a thing that he was into. So I
don't know.
Speaker 2: We'll bring him the fork.
Speaker 5: You'll never go hungry, the destructible.
Speaker 4: Fork, all right, pocket the fork?
Speaker 2: You pocket the fork. I'm not touching that fork.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how are you pocketing the fork? Do you pick
it up with your hand?
Speaker 2: I don't pick it up.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna lean my hat over it and while it
rints it off first, you'll get start you again.
Speaker 7: But yeah, but if you pick it up, hold on,
I'm gonna stop it because I feel like it's good karma.
Speaker 2: If you touch that fork, I mean.
Speaker 5: That's your fork.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can't put it down if I touch it,
is that.
Speaker 3: The r probably probably pick up every time.
Speaker 4: What did you learn from the hat?
Speaker 2: Let's leave the ford off. You're welcome.
Speaker 4: Tensers disc it into a bag.
Speaker 8: I can just see we all turn around to leave
the person.
Speaker 2: I could hop up.
Speaker 6: You do.
Speaker 3: Eating grapes.
Speaker 5: Not quite back up to full health.
Speaker 4: It's got a little click. Did you hurt yourself when
you fell down?
Speaker 5: Really really sore?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you can. Your shoulders feeling sore, especially from
the thunderstorm that's over Bill right now. The weather is
reallying it to egg Bill.
Speaker 4: Did we got that art?
Speaker 3: Need more reason?
Speaker 8: She's gonna kill you in your sleep.
Speaker 2: Leave the rest of the dangerously Cursed items alone? Yeah?
I think let's let's go up and look for information.
Speaker 4: The Yeah, so we'll go up to the non fiction section.
Speaker 3: He did give it.
Speaker 8: She brought us some robes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you're wearing them. Okay, if you want to
be like library and type robes.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, take my trench coat off and I put
the robes on, and then I put my coat back on.
Speaker 3: Over it.
Speaker 8: Could I get an illusion of some little glasses.
Speaker 2: I make them a spectacle, a monocle, A monocle.
Speaker 3: All right, thank you walking around with the lusory monocle.
It's classy and missing half your ear. Yes, that's why.
That's why you can't wear full glasses. There's nothing to
put the other armed often non fake land, our heroes
will return after these messages. Hey there, it's Neko again.
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Speaker 5: Often nonfiction land.
Speaker 4: So yeah, the historical section and then I'm gonna look
through and try. And you said that the Kilos sword
was like jogging the memory of something, so I'll kind
of look through whatever feels right. I guess whatever seems
like it might match the description of the type of
sword he has, or the make or whatever.
Speaker 5: Oh can I remember what it looks like?
Speaker 4: No, but I'm sure you can describe in detail.
Speaker 3: So you already made a role earlier in this campaign,
and I told you that you would be able to
find a book that would spark that memory for you. Right, yeah,
so you're going to find it here. But what we
need to find out is how long is it going
to take you? So what ability is it that you
used for that?
Speaker 4: That was my bard lore?
Speaker 3: Is there a role with that? If not, we're going
to use a spout lore and that will determine the
amount of time.
Speaker 4: No, there's not a role with it.
Speaker 3: All right, so let's do I believe what is that
a wisdom role?
Speaker 4: It's just for spout law for spout lore.
Speaker 2: I think it's an intelligent le plus intelligence.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so roll an intelligence role and we
will see how long it takes you to find the
books A three A three? Did you get it? Did
you get it in that too?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: It was A three? No, I have no intelligence. Okay,
I put the hat on. Then that's smart.
Speaker 3: And hats.
Speaker 4: I can kind of see it.
Speaker 3: So you make your way upstairs. You run into Percy
in the stairwell. We're at the at the stairwell. He
was waiting for you there, and I was like, oh,
so glad you guys didn't move on without me.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, you didn't come back with the water. We
had to make do it. Here's all right, thanks.
Speaker 3: Here's here's a bendage I soaked take in wool too?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Great, Hey the water? How do I get this off.
Speaker 3: The hat?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's curst it's kind of stuck. You think you
could help?
Speaker 3: How did you get a cursed Well?
Speaker 4: See, somebody thought that they were really funny and they
put it on the door. So when you opened the door,
it fell on your head.
Speaker 3: That sounds terrible.
Speaker 2: It wasn't great, downright, conniving.
Speaker 3: Let me see what I can do. He's going to
try and cast remove curse.
Speaker 9: You might accidentally remove your head.
Speaker 3: That is a six. Oh no, so he do and
duration goals. Please help me remove the curse from Baill's head.
It is on a hat that is raining. Please come home. Hat.
There you go, Bill that ought to do it, it didn't.
You gotta take it off now I try and take
my head off. It doesn't work. Oh no, well I
forgot the spell. Now we're going to have to try tomorrow.
Speaker 2: That's pretty sure. I'd never heard of spell that began.
Speaker 3: With It's just one of the best decursors in the country.
Speaker 4: I hate this country so much.
Speaker 2: M hm in this country just.
Speaker 4: It's just nothing but sewer monsters and cursed hats and
almost people.
Speaker 11: Can't always well right, doesn't look good in the.
Speaker 2: Brochure, hasn't stopped raining once.
Speaker 4: It's just nothing but a And then that Abigail lady
was so rude to us for no reason.
Speaker 3: Oh you met Abigail?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she got these robes.
Speaker 3: She's pretty noise issues all right. She gives you by digits.
Speaker 7: And no no, but she gave us a skeleton key
supposed to get us some stairways, so we're gonna head
on up and look for.
Speaker 9: Turns out, didn't he advantages.
Speaker 3: I just needed some rest, old right the song Your
Homes Back, Yep, what.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was. I know what you're talking about now.
Most of that mess was actually part of the monster
stuck on there. We got it off. She's a whole
lot better. Don't worry about that.
Speaker 4: Oh boy, don't you need to boil more water.
Speaker 9: In the library.
Speaker 5: I remember that for some reason.
Speaker 3: All right, So you all had up to the third
or fourth floor, so much psychological damage. Oh third makes sense.
So you are in the third floor and you all
start looking around, and you're looking around in there for
hours before you're ready to give up because Bill rolled
a three on how long this would take and it's
not in on the third floor.
Speaker 4: Anyway to turn the pages when they're wet.
Speaker 9: Oh yeah, I remember the description we got.
Speaker 4: Just ruining all of the books of the sword.
Speaker 9: Of the Sword Keo's Magic Sword.
Speaker 6: I don't know if any of the this makes any sense,
but it has a few enchantments on it, and it
turns into shadow when it strikes flesh, and it never has.
Speaker 9: To be sharpened.
Speaker 6: Yep, yep, a dera is intelligence coming in clutch?
Speaker 5: Mmmm plus zero?
Speaker 3: No, no, And she got it in the notes. It
makes sense, all right. So you make it up to
the fourth floor and you look around again, and just
as you were about to get give up, Right, you
guys are hungry. Did you eat hot pockets while you
were up here? Just want to know you see other
librarians but no, you've.
Speaker 9: Overs, but we're really low on hot pockets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll stick it out for now, all right.
Speaker 3: So you guys are all getting really hungry, really exhausted,
and a lot has gone on very hungry. Yeah, a
Dera is on the border of raging. If she doesn't eat.
Speaker 9: Soon, I'm about to burn this library to the ground.
Speaker 3: And Bill, you finally come across a book, and in
the book it details ills so that talks about a
sword that's much like the sword that you had seen.
It's a sword that, like Adir said, never needs to
be sharpened, can slice through anything, can turn into shadow
or fire. The sword is called Levitine vatine yep, and
it is said to belong to the god Loki.
Speaker 2: Huh m hmmm, what.
Speaker 4: I have a description of Loki.
Speaker 3: The letters around.
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's right there in the name.
Speaker 5: The whole time. But I thought he was a drug addicts,
drug mule.
Speaker 3: He had drugs.
Speaker 2: Hopefully it's hilarious.
Speaker 12: Le's get in that Duster's head.
Speaker 3: So all the gods of Euphrey are supposed to be dead.
Speaker 5: Dunt dun, dum uh.
Speaker 3: There was another book that you wanted to look for
that was about the dream. I believe you said you
were going to look for a book for that dream.
That's the only hand I'm gonna give you if you
don't remember him.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, don't make me go back.
Speaker 6: It takes me forever to find these things about a dream?
Was it about the same time that I found the sword?
Speaker 3: So you all had a dream you woke up. It
was when you were in the camp. You were with
Kilo or near Kilo, and then while you were dreaming,
Bill decided to break enchantments over all your minds and
you all woke up.
Speaker 4: Oh I do remember that now? Yeah? That was used
by the wh We thought it was induced by the drugs, right,
very well. Now, yeah, so I'll see if I can.
Is there like a roller would have to make her
to look for something on it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you will have to make a roll for this one.
Speaker 4: Just another intelligence role.
Speaker 2: Can I make the rule?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: Because I rolled a ten?
Speaker 2: Anyway?
Speaker 3: Yeah? You rolled a ten?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay. So you also, while you're reading and finding more
books about Loki, do you find a book that just
discuss discusses a couple of gates that are supposed to
be the path from Loki's kingdom to the under realm.
So the gates traverse the in between without danger, like
a path that can be walked by the gods in
the in between?
Speaker 2: Is that path like moonlight?
Speaker 3: Mm?
Speaker 4: Hmm.
Speaker 3: You don't know you can go inside, but potentially.
Speaker 4: Hmm. Maybe we should packet these books and bring them
back to the General.
Speaker 8: Let me just sign them out.
Speaker 5: I got my library card.
Speaker 2: I don't know about the general book.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I've never been stamped once, checked these books out. Yeah,
all right, here's my library card.
Speaker 8: Yeah, we'll go talk to Conan the librarian.
Speaker 3: She say, Conan the library.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, Conan the librarian. He's a Kenku. It's Crowman
the library.
Speaker 5: Now, that's what he said, Crowman.
Speaker 3: All right, So you guys get the books. Yes, all right,
And you go to Crowman librarian, and he's chilling there,
and he's a card major library car card.
Speaker 2: It's like you were prepared.
Speaker 4: To give him a deer's library card, library card.
Speaker 2: Pets.
Speaker 3: He takes a library card and takes a giant war hammer,
stamps the inside of the door with it or not,
the door, the inside of the book, the cover, you know,
stamps it, and slides it over, stamps the next one
slides it over, and he's looking at you, like if
you have any more, I.
Speaker 8: Set a stack of books like the children's section.
Speaker 3: They're all like doctor Seu's books.
Speaker 2: Which such wildlife to find out what's best in life.
Speaker 9: The best things in life are free.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, before you shore the women, I can't do
that in the bird voice.
Speaker 11: Across just I have a like, like a stack of
wildlife books, all right, and both mythologically and mundane.
Speaker 3: Okay, So he starts stamping him. It's making a loud
you know, as he smashes his war hammer down.
Speaker 2: Because someone who's whispering too loud because.
Speaker 3: He throws a hammer out. Cronan the Barbarian, and so
he checks all your books out, and Cronian the librarian
looks for you. And then because you checked out ten
or more books, he grabs a beat out with his
beak and sets it down on the table in front
of you as a gift. It's it's a real shiny bead.
Speaker 2: Like he's park glass and a quarter of those colored
paper clips.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're a glow library past.
Speaker 3: All right. Uh oh that was a wholes and scene
a right, So you guys have these books. Now you
have this information.
Speaker 9: Now we have to get the hell out of here
without being sane.
Speaker 2: M right.
Speaker 9: We had to get in here without being sane.
Speaker 5: But we saw a couple of people. They didn't seem
to mind.
Speaker 2: Oh we're here for was.
Speaker 6: Just feel really smart now that we're in a library.
Once we leave, I'm gonna feel dumb again.
Speaker 5: Library pass, library card.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 9: That's the one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we've done what we came for here, right, So.
Speaker 4: Off to the prison.
Speaker 3: Off to the prison, which means you're off to the docks.
Speaker 7: Yeah, let's go get Percy and let's see what's the
that's the way.
Speaker 2: To get to the docks.
Speaker 9: Those that the boats at the port were already.
Speaker 3: All demolished, many of them are ye.
Speaker 11: Okay, Well, now that we're disguised as librarians, can we
just go top side?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, multi.
Speaker 7: Pass probably Maybe I don't know, maybe there's like curfews,
occupied city and whatnot.
Speaker 8: Ask Abigo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she left, I told her to leave. Okay, we
would have.
Speaker 6: It just.
Speaker 2: Well, Percy, what do you think?
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know why I wasn't here when they
took over the city, But it wouldn't hurt to Troy.
Might it might hurt to Troy.
Speaker 2: But let's do it anyway.
Speaker 4: Percy also doesn't have a disguise.
Speaker 2: We're going to take the surface streets because I'm not
climbing back in that.
Speaker 3: Short I agree? Would you one moment, I'll go get
a discoys perfect. Will you be here when I get back?
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 11: I'll sit down like Chris cross apple sauce and start
looking through a picture book.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take some time, actually, and can I take
some time to prepare spelled?
Speaker 3: Uh? If you do, you're going to need to eat
and stuff. Yeah, yeah, because a deer might actually murder someone.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 7: While you're getting changed, think about a good place we
can get some chow and maybe rest with for you.
Speaker 3: All right? All right, we can go to moy House,
three hots and a cotton prison. All right. I'll be
back with a bath robe. So he leaves to go
get his robe. Are you guys doing anything while he's gone?
Or you're just gonna read the stuff and prop Okay,
I'm looking for ideas, all right. So he comes back
after a short time wearing a robe, and he ushers
you guys to follow him back down the stairs. But
you don't go out of the way of the basement.
You just go to the big floor and you walk
out into the town.
Speaker 2: The shit shit.
Speaker 3: You make your way through the town. It is an
occupied city, as you can tell. There are a lot
of soldiers going through the area, but you notice there
are a lot of civilians still inside working and doing things.
No one's really milling about or doing small talk or
chit chatting. People aren't like walking together having a good time.
Everyone seems to be walking somewhere with a purpose or
trying to get into whatever house or business or whatever
they're doing. You do see up ahead there are a
couple points where there are checkpoints where guards appear to
be questioning people that are walking through with any kind
of wagons or stuff. You also see that the evokers
appear to be well, not the evokers, but the soldiers
appear to be harassing some of the people charging the money,
taking goods from them. You know, you see a woman
with some apples, and then a female guard challenges her
and takes away her apples and gives her you know,
uses her knife to cut one of the apples in
half and gives a lady a half apple and send
her on her way. Right, So, the guards are just
being guards in occupied city.
Speaker 2: All guards are bastards.
Speaker 3: All guards are bastards. So Percy notes that you are
going to have to pass through one of these checkpoints
to get to his house. But he's just two blocks
past the checkpoint. He says, you know, it would be
a long route away, and you probably have to go
through a different checkpoint, you know, at some point. So
his suggestion is just that you go through that. But
he's like, do we have a story that we want
to give them as we go through as to what
we're doing.
Speaker 7: No, we're having a copy party, right for these books?
Oh right, right, that's so we got all these books
and we're all librarians.
Speaker 3: And and the blank books where we're copying them are
at my house.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's where we're going to copy them. Yep.
Speaker 3: I like that thought process. All right, I'll let you
talk to them and we get closer. I'll stand with
ooh rag, excellent, ready, ooh rag? All right, So he'll
follow you guys as you go.
Speaker 2: Off.
Speaker 8: I'll tell Percy if things go sideways, you might want
to step back.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll step anyway. You won't except up right, I
don't will have that power.
Speaker 2: Not yet, all.
Speaker 3: Right, So you make it over to the checkpoint. There's
some guards there, and the one female guard that was mean.
She's like, hey, what are you guys doing through here?
Speaker 7: But we have to go this way to get to
his house and.
Speaker 3: Copy these you're copying those?
Speaker 2: Yeah, why do you think we're carrying them?
Speaker 3: And they're books, They're gonna be toilet paper later.
Speaker 2: That's why we're copying it.
Speaker 3: Don't be smart just because I don't know how to read.
Speaker 2: I didn't know. You didn't know. There's why we're copying.
Speaker 7: There's shortages all over the city because you guys harassing everyone. Wow,
if you want to copy books so the old books
can be toilet paper, it's your fault.
Speaker 2: Now you won't even let us copy. And what are
you gonna wipe with?
Speaker 3: Give me one of those? She takes one of the
copy it takes one of them and starts flipping through
it like she knows what she's doing, and she rips
the page out of the middle, speaking of toilet paper,
and then she shoves the book back into your chest.
Try and remember what it says when you do your no, okay,
fuck off the fuck off he.
Speaker 2: Will fuck off off he will fuck hope, I need.
Speaker 3: A dear glow library.
Speaker 2: Cough.
Speaker 4: Okay, nothing, Oh, you walk through.
Speaker 3: Really good as h as they go through. I'll approach
the lady.
Speaker 2: Excuse me?
Speaker 8: Yeah, what I would like to trade with you?
Speaker 3: Trade? What would mean?
Speaker 8: I have this book. You said you don't read very well.
I don't either. These have lots of pictures, but I
think my friend needs the words on that page. I'll
trade you this whole book for that one page.
Speaker 3: Let me see. So she grabs in, she starts looking
through it. She makes some shitty looking faces, but then
she likes a couple of pictures, like one with a
panda and you know, one with an owl bear holding
the squeaky toy. Yeah, I'm just looking over it.
Speaker 2: I like that one too.
Speaker 3: Well, all right, here you go. You can have the
pages back. I didn't really want to wipe my ass
with that hard stuff. Anyway, Thank you and move along.
Speaker 2: Have a nice night.
Speaker 3: Once I get to my break time, I'll have a
nice night.
Speaker 4: Does Shells catch up to Eddie?
Speaker 2: Here?
Speaker 8: Eddie, I got that page for you.
Speaker 2: You're the best. That's impressive. I was just gonna try to.
Speaker 3: Do it that and Bill it is still raining on
you as you walk.
Speaker 4: Sure, I just head dou nothing.
Speaker 2: Just don't mind him.
Speaker 3: He's got his shoes.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm just gonna be.
Speaker 3: Try to make people get a prescription for that hat.
Speaker 2: He's got dry skinned doctor prescribed that hat.
Speaker 4: Don't mind me. It's just a smile. Case of the playoff.
Speaker 2: He's also got the play maybe just mask.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you guys are walking and Percy takes you
to his house. You get there and he walks you inside.
He's I don't really have a whole lot of food
to eat, but I could make us a stew.
Speaker 2: Great.
Speaker 3: I've got roots like carrots and potatoes. I have a
squash that we could put.
Speaker 7: In it perfect any other roots like garlic, onions.
Speaker 3: I have garlic and onions. I have dried out peppers
like haulla, pinos and cab and rows.
Speaker 7: Person, you're a okay, all took cocaine.
Speaker 8: Probably should put Bill in the tub or whatever.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna use your study.
Speaker 3: He does have a nice study.
Speaker 2: I don't think he really had a study house or
was just going to set on the count. All right, Yeah,
what a get my spell book out and pair some spells?
Speaker 3: Bill while everybody's getting their stuff around, and you're soaking wet,
and I assume you're like trying to figure out what
to do with your clothes and going through your stuff
and trying to find a way to organize your pack
so you're not getting everything all wet all the time.
You realize that a lot, like a good chunk of
your little castanettes, your little mini symbols, we're stolen. While
you were walking here. None of you noticed you have
four left.
Speaker 4: Somebody stole my ship, Daddy, did you steal my shit?
Speaker 2: What I'm going to do with your ship?
Speaker 4: I don't know, probably trying to stop me from making
my beautiful art. Never believed in me thinking bad because
I think of anywhere that was I in close proximity
with anybody that I remember, there.
Speaker 3: Were quite a few people that you were in close
proximity with at the checkpoints.
Speaker 4: It was basically basically just at the checkpoints that I
was close to people.
Speaker 3: Yep, there were some children running around and you all
paid no heed to them because they rolled in eleven
to pickpocket you.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Somebody stole my stuff. I think it had to have
happened around the chick point so it's either the guards
or the kids.
Speaker 5: The checkpoints.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and.
Speaker 2: Orphans.
Speaker 3: They stole some gold too, but with as much as
you have, it was a trivial amount. It's like twelve gold.
Speaker 9: Put it in the tally.
Speaker 2: I noticed little plasters.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they stole my throwing symbols, half my throwing something.
Well that's that. I'm not gonna go back out there
in my wrong uniform and my rainy hat.
Speaker 9: You can ask Perce where you could possibly get more.
Speaker 4: The last time I asked Percy for something, he prayed
for me, real slow to my face, and then nothing happens.
Speaker 6: H try he he did his best, okay, and we
did get to the library.
Speaker 2: He's one of the top B cursors.
Speaker 9: I got to use my library card.
Speaker 4: Thanks for you looked me in my eyes and said
thoughts and prayers. Absolutely not.
Speaker 2: Tragging, all right, So it's not a meteorologist.
Speaker 3: So first he makes dinner for all of you. He
brings it out and delivers you all a bowl of
his finest Percy stew and he recommends that you all
call a night and says, if you know whatever you
guys want to do, if you want to leave in
the morning, if you want to leave them all night.
They can when his house is not too far from
the docks.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I say we leave in the morning, but like
early in the morning, not early in the morning.
Speaker 3: Early in the morning, like ten thirty, maybe eleven.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna attempt to sleep while I'm wet.
Speaker 3: Oh, it does not stop.
Speaker 4: No, I'm gonna sleep. I'm gonna set up a bed
that's at like a reversing. You can have the bathtub
a decline, so my feet are up and my head's
down towards Yeah, a tb or a bucket or something.
Speaker 2: Just sleep in the bathtub.
Speaker 11: It's got a turn into a giant sponge and spoon
you all night.
Speaker 3: So romantic.
Speaker 2: It's okay.
Speaker 8: I got your bill.
Speaker 7: I'll tell you have a nightmare and accidentally turned into
a giant toadly squeezes.
Speaker 4: I like how I'm getting made fun of. I'm the
only one not covered in actual refuge. All right, shut up?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you all probably.
Speaker 2: Need bad stuff.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, bathtub's mine. Now you shower in
your bed? How about that? You know what?
Speaker 8: Another reason to spoon wild Bill.
Speaker 7: I pressed to digitate all of us. I just pressed
to digitate me and then I forget the spell.
Speaker 3: All right, here's a good spot to take a break.
Speaker 1: This concludes this episode of A Fool's Quest, and join us.
Speaker 2: Next time for more fun and daring adventure.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review,
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fools Quest