Speaker 1: Well, hello, and welcome to Laura Kane after Dark, the
Speaker 1: podcast that tries to be your escape from your everyday stresses.
Speaker 1: We hope we make you laugh. We might make you think,
Speaker 1: maybe not.
Speaker 2: Laura might make you cry.
Speaker 1: There may be some tears, but probably not. This is
Speaker 1: Eric River and then we have producer Brian. Hello, and
Speaker 1: we missed last.
Speaker 2: Week because you had a YaST infection.
Speaker 3: No, it was worse than that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: Actually it was something you don't don't talk about. Its warts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I know a lot went down last week
Speaker 1: and I was going to see my mom Tuesday. I
Speaker 1: was supposed to go to New York to visit my
Speaker 1: daughter and that fell through. So I was like all
Speaker 1: kinds of crazy, like I just went off the grid
Speaker 1: and I couldn't. I was like, the podcast has to
Speaker 1: be taken off the plate because I felt like I
Speaker 1: was about to lose my mind.
Speaker 2: That makes sense, Yes.
Speaker 1: M do you understand? Yes, Okay, I'm sorry we missed
Speaker 1: last week, but I think that the shows would have
Speaker 1: been bad. I would have been like like out of
Speaker 1: my mind.
Speaker 3: Her voice is already shaking us. Just she talks about
Speaker 3: the most basic like.
Speaker 1: I know there's a couple of things I want to
Speaker 1: talk about that are kind of making me a little
Speaker 1: bit nervous. Okay, well, first of all, something that I
Speaker 1: am not okay with. We're going to start off with that,
Speaker 1: and we're going to get into words of advice from
Speaker 1: all sorts of people in my life, including my eighty
Speaker 1: four year old mother, her eighty four year old best
Speaker 1: friend since they're fifteen.
Speaker 2: And Marie.
Speaker 1: She sent me her response, Oh okay, okay, okay, good
Speaker 1: best piece of advice you can give to somebody. And
Speaker 1: I thought two eighty four year old women who have
Speaker 1: lived a long life have like the most vital advice.
Speaker 2: Just wait, I can't wait, just wait, Oh I can't wait.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we have that you have something that you
Speaker 1: watched and you want to pass it along. Yes, we
Speaker 1: have the Double D, which is really juicy, including a
Speaker 1: major couple a list to the max. Yes, might be done.
Speaker 1: So now this one nobody saw coming. Ah, So that's
Speaker 1: in the Double D. And this I am not okay with?
Speaker 3: What is this?
Speaker 1: Okay, there's a pizza place in Australia. They have many
Speaker 1: locations throughout Australia.
Speaker 3: Australia. I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1: No, this is what I'm not okay with, and I'm
Speaker 1: hoping does not float over here to the United States.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's got to have something disgusting on it.
Speaker 1: It has. It's their variation of the Hawaiian pizza, which
Speaker 1: has pineapple and ham, which is delicious acquired taste.
Speaker 3: No, not even it's good.
Speaker 1: See, I'm straight up cheese. I can whoa only cheese.
Speaker 1: I'm the purest Hell no, it's the most pure you
Speaker 1: can get a pizza pie.
Speaker 3: It's like it's like eating a sandwich, but like all
Speaker 3: you have is lettuce in there, and that's it.
Speaker 1: Okay, don't like any meat. And again I don't like fruit,
Speaker 1: so that's just meat. But this place called Bubba Pizza,
Speaker 1: they have just unveiled their ham and orange slices. Actually,
Speaker 1: that sounds all kinds of putrid.
Speaker 3: I'd rather have that than just cheese pizza.
Speaker 1: You would rather have an orange slice, of course they're peeled,
Speaker 1: but orange chunks on your pizza is awful. What about
Speaker 1: a margarita pizza?
Speaker 3: I love margari pizza. It's not just cheese though.
Speaker 1: Cheese. Well you are do you are?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: Are you guys? Well you don't, but do you do?
Speaker 1: Like the the meat lovers like all kinds of meat
Speaker 1: piled on pizza, you.
Speaker 3: Lovers, is fine. I don't do mushrooms. I hate mushrooms,
Speaker 3: so anything with mushrooms is a no. But yeah, load
Speaker 3: is on there.
Speaker 1: Oh, I pick off all the sausage, pick it off?
Speaker 1: Pick it off? Why pick it off? I want plane cheese.
Speaker 1: That's it. So I'm not okay with that.
Speaker 3: That's like saying, oh, my favorite piece of art is
Speaker 3: just the blank canvas with maybe like the primer coat
Speaker 3: on it. Cheese. Pizza is not pizza. That's the precursor
Speaker 3: to pizza.
Speaker 1: I think that there might be a fight a bruin
Speaker 1: over that. What do you think? What do you what's
Speaker 1: your favorite pizza?
Speaker 2: Pepperoni?
Speaker 3: Thank you pepper He's amazing, delicious.
Speaker 2: I can eat pepperoni any which way.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 1: Do you add anything else besides pepperoni?
Speaker 2: Sometimes I'll order if I want to be really daring,
Speaker 2: I'll order onions and jalapanios.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's that's delicious. Now we're a little bit of
Speaker 3: sausage on there. Peperon and sausage.
Speaker 1: There we go, thin crust, medium crust, thick crust.
Speaker 3: I like medium and thick, medium, thick fluffy crust, Yes, fluffy.
Speaker 3: I will say if you go down to like North
Speaker 3: Park and you go to the real Italian cafes whatever,
Speaker 3: and you get the thin crust pizza, that is good,
Speaker 3: but it's not as good as thick, fluffy crust.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had Chicago deep dish?
Speaker 3: I have it. Yes, It's it's a lot. It's good.
Speaker 3: It is a lot. Though it is like it's like
Speaker 3: biting into a soup.
Speaker 1: It really really is like a dough in like tomato
Speaker 1: sauce soup.
Speaker 3: It's like the sour dough soup bowls.
Speaker 1: Totally, totally Okay, So let's start off with our host chat.
Speaker 1: We have new host chat music. You go first and
Speaker 1: then I'll go second because I have a controversial host chat.
Speaker 2: I think mine is not so controversial. But you and
Speaker 2: I and Brian, with our love of horror.
Speaker 3: Movies, horror, horror, horror, I prefer horror movies.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay.
Speaker 2: I just watched over the weekend on Hulu. It's a
Speaker 2: documentary called The Monster Inside and it's the documentary about
Speaker 2: the McCamey Horrhouse. Horror House.
Speaker 1: Is a real thing, yes, obviously, if it's a documentary.
Speaker 2: It's they've had it all over the country and the
Speaker 2: final place I think was San Diego.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, the dude they put on the yes, and.
Speaker 2: It's extreme torture. Like I did not know this until
Speaker 2: I watched it because I had heard about it. People
Speaker 2: were getting teeth extracted, and I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1: They signed away their rights to do it all.
Speaker 2: They waterboarding like people torture, yes, And I'm like, the
Speaker 2: guy got off it totally. I was scared to death.
Speaker 1: There was a line, there was a waiting list of
Speaker 1: people to get in there.
Speaker 3: I think some of this stuff is a little dramatized.
Speaker 3: I don't think any I mean I don't remember. I
Speaker 3: remember watching like looking into a lot, and I don't
Speaker 3: remember anything anyone actually coming forward to say they were
Speaker 3: the one that had their teeth extracted.
Speaker 2: Oh no. On the documentary there is really yes.
Speaker 3: How do you just have I don't know. I was.
Speaker 2: I was because you know my thing with teeth, Oh
Speaker 2: I know. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: It's a cereal Like he's just like he wants to
Speaker 3: be a serial killer, but he doesn't. He doesn't think
Speaker 3: you get away with it, so he does then xpec thing.
Speaker 2: God, it was frightening.
Speaker 1: Are you watching the New White Lotus? Yes, I'm not,
Speaker 1: Holy Mother of God, I love it.
Speaker 2: I knew there was something between the two sons.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh there. Things are getting really really interesting.
Speaker 1: This maybe the best one.
Speaker 2: Last week the dad showed his junk full junk.
Speaker 1: Junk full junk. Oh yeah, and it was like not
Speaker 1: a small It wasn't a short shot.
Speaker 2: No, it was a long lingering shot.
Speaker 1: It was a long lingering shot.
Speaker 2: It's probably on someone's screensaver, not mine, but probably throughout
Speaker 2: the world. There's that shot of someone's screensaver.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, did you see it?
Speaker 2: So not if if you haven't seen it yet, you
Speaker 2: watch it spoiler alert. But where they go to that
Speaker 2: like rave or whatever that was, and the brother is
Speaker 2: going like this to the brother's hair, like running his
Speaker 2: hands through his hair, And I was all, if these
Speaker 2: two start getting it on on the beach, I'm tuning out.
Speaker 2: I do not want to see incest's best put your
Speaker 2: brother to the test.
Speaker 1: It makes me going to go to Thailand though, because
Speaker 1: it looks so beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: In that like that, well, in the ritzy part they
Speaker 1: go to the Ritchie richiep Actually, well, No, this place
Speaker 1: where White Lotus is taking place is like the most
Speaker 1: like fanciest of the fancy resorts and stuff. But it's
Speaker 1: really good. Okay, hit the host chat music. Here's my
Speaker 1: host chat.
Speaker 2: Oh boy.
Speaker 1: Now I need to preface this by saying, I am
Speaker 1: this is not a political show. We don't talk about politics.
Speaker 1: I don't like to talk. I don't like politics, so
Speaker 1: I don't partake. Okay, are you and Eric both for Trump?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Stop antag.
Speaker 2: Such a good I do not want any Okay, I
Speaker 2: did not vote.
Speaker 1: I want to know for the record, I want to
Speaker 1: know your thoughts on this. Yes, this has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with voting or who, what we believe in or anything.
Speaker 1: I was going through a friend's stuff who was giving
Speaker 1: away some stuff to goodwill and this and that. But
Speaker 1: so I found this really nice metal kind of like
Speaker 1: distress but on purpose American flag. It was just a
Speaker 1: metal sign, and I thought, oh, somebody might really want this.
Speaker 1: So I put it at the front of my place
Speaker 1: because a lot of times I'll leave stuff there and
Speaker 1: people will take it because they know it's it's free.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, you know, cause I didn't where am
Speaker 1: I going to put it? So and it was nice enough,
Speaker 1: so I just left it there. I thought somebody might
Speaker 1: want it. Well, the next day I pulled into my spot,
Speaker 1: I looked over to the right, and there's the flag
Speaker 1: hanging on my fence. I'm like, who put that on there?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: I looked closer. Somebody, uh, drilled it into my fence.
Speaker 1: So it is un You can't take it off unless
Speaker 1: you have a drill to take it off. Now, look, are.
Speaker 3: You sure it wasn't a roommate, by the way.
Speaker 1: No, it was not a Trust me one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: Knock.
Speaker 1: I am proud to be an American. I love this country,
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. Of course,
Speaker 1: there's so many beautiful things about this country. Let's not
Speaker 1: have politics aside. So showing the American flag is not
Speaker 1: something I'm a sham in any way. However, I don't
Speaker 1: want others to get the wrong impression of what kind
Speaker 1: of person that does that make sense?
Speaker 2: Who has the stones to like deface your fence?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: It sucks that, like I have to think that way.
Speaker 3: I think you should wear that flag proud. I think
Speaker 3: I think it is always okay to be proud to
Speaker 3: be an American.
Speaker 1: Yes it is. However, are people going to like throw
Speaker 1: eggs at my house because they think that I am
Speaker 1: like so on one side.
Speaker 3: Okay, if I think if it is a political statement
Speaker 3: to have a flag, I think probably it speaks more
Speaker 3: about the other side than wherever. You know, it speaks
Speaker 3: more about the people who throw the eggs than you
Speaker 3: who has the flag up.
Speaker 1: Okay, well it's permanently on my fence now, so I
Speaker 1: didn't notice it. Okay, Well, by the way, you look
Speaker 1: very good in that kind Thank you. Hello Saint Patrick's day.
Speaker 1: I see no green. I see no green.
Speaker 3: I am not wearing green, and I am irish though
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 1: Like, how what is the percentage?
Speaker 3: It is some because I am too up in the
Speaker 3: seventy percent range. Oh great, great great somewhere in that generation,
Speaker 3: like half My grandparents were all from Ireland, all born there.
Speaker 1: My dad's sister, who's redhead, married a red headed man.
Speaker 1: They had twelve kids. They were all red heads. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, my mom is a red head, my brother's
Speaker 1: a red head, my sister's a red head. My dad
Speaker 1: was kind of a red head. We have lots of
Speaker 1: red heads in the family. So I'm wondering if I'm
Speaker 1: more Irish than German.
Speaker 2: That's what I think was that were were actually related,
Speaker 2: because nobody in my family has red hair.
Speaker 1: I think, I really think that my mom is fooling around.
Speaker 2: I do too.
Speaker 1: I think married your mom was fooling around and then
Speaker 1: had him before she had me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just gave me away because I was a nightmare.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got you far way from Hollywood. They took
Speaker 1: you down south.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I should do the DNA tests. They're fun.
Speaker 2: Left me on someone's door stepe.
Speaker 3: Not even the like necessarily like the r WE related one,
Speaker 3: but just what your ancestry is, because I'm seventy or
Speaker 3: eighty percent uh English and Irish and Scottish.
Speaker 1: I read that someday we are all going to regret
Speaker 1: doing that, because there's going to be so much knowledge
Speaker 1: about our like, who.
Speaker 3: Cares a bit you're from the United Kingdom, what a loser? Like?
Speaker 1: No, I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's just too much information about us personally out there anyway.
Speaker 3: And then I don't think anyone's gonna get like your
Speaker 3: social security from your ancestry.
Speaker 1: Oh god, well, anyway, I know they can get it
Speaker 1: other way snoring.
Speaker 2: What el is totally snoring.
Speaker 1: Okay, now let's do the double D because.
Speaker 2: We have a lot of dirt we do.
Speaker 1: Then we'll get to the words of advice that I
Speaker 1: have received so far, and I want to hear your
Speaker 1: best piece of advice for somebody. I love this because
Speaker 1: they're all so different. What's going on in the world.
Speaker 2: Major news tonight, George and Them All Clooney may be done.
Speaker 2: There are tabloid reports that George and Them All Clooney
Speaker 2: are separating. He is in New York preparing for his
Speaker 2: Broadway debut, and she's teaching at Oxford in England, and
Speaker 2: it's caused them to grow apart.
Speaker 1: There's a big age difference there too.
Speaker 2: Is he's sixty three and she's forty seven.
Speaker 1: She seems to be the smartest person on the planet.
Speaker 2: She has done a lot, She is a lot going
Speaker 2: for her. It's very accomplished.
Speaker 3: Wait, is there any actual evidence they're splitting other than
Speaker 3: the fact that they're just not together right now.
Speaker 1: No, and it's just it's just it's a piece of gossip. Okay,
Speaker 1: But he is going to be on Broadway for the
Speaker 1: very first time, yes, playing Edward R.
Speaker 3: Murrow.
Speaker 1: Yes, and we talked.
Speaker 2: About he hasn't been broad away before.
Speaker 1: I know, me too, me too.
Speaker 2: Now we've got a couple of ben affleck. Okay. So
Speaker 2: now that he's had it with Jennifer Lopez and they're divorced, yes,
Speaker 2: he's got his eyes back on another young lady that
Speaker 2: he was also involved with before his ex wife, Jennifer Gardner.
Speaker 3: Oh, she she should get back with her.
Speaker 2: So he would love another shot with her, but he
Speaker 2: realizes the time isn't right. He's fresh off of a
Speaker 2: divorce and she's got a boyfriend that she's reportedly happy with,
Speaker 2: and surprise, surprise, that boyfriend is not particularly thrilled with
Speaker 2: this news.
Speaker 3: No, I never should have split up.
Speaker 1: She and Ben were photographed not cuddling, but he had
Speaker 1: his arm around her and they write their kid's game
Speaker 1: or something. The boyfriend saw it and said, if I
Speaker 1: see another picture like that, I'm out here. I'm walking
Speaker 1: because he is crossing the line.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think so too. I don't think that that's.
Speaker 1: Right because I don't think she wants it, would you?
Speaker 3: Who knows?
Speaker 1: Not? After all that Jennifer Lopez, all that hellabaloo and
Speaker 1: the wedding.
Speaker 3: And I don't know to speak for Jennifer Garner.
Speaker 2: I like Jennifer.
Speaker 3: I think I think she said stuff in the past,
Speaker 3: saying that she wished they had worked things out or something.
Speaker 1: But I think she's moved on.
Speaker 3: How would you know, how did you talk to her?
Speaker 1: I'm just feeling that as a woman. Okay, I'm feeling
Speaker 1: that as a woman.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, you have a psychic connection with Jennifer Harner.
Speaker 1: I've been through something similar.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: Shoot, you look kind of lose it for the other person.
Speaker 3: You can also get it back.
Speaker 2: I just realized something with this next story coming up,
Speaker 2: what oh so? And it just hit me, now, what
Speaker 2: as I was getting ready to talk about it, Well,
Speaker 2: I know somebody that works for Kelly Clarkson.
Speaker 1: Where is she?
Speaker 2: So she has not hosted a show since March fifth,
Speaker 2: right now, I think it's Wanda Sykes that's hosting for her.
Speaker 2: There's been no word from her camp on what's going on.
Speaker 2: They just said it's a personal matter. But she is
Speaker 2: just dropped off the face of the earth. That has
Speaker 2: nothing to do with her, Yes, doesn't have anything to
Speaker 2: do so she's not in rehab or anything. No, what
Speaker 2: could it be? I know, I don't know, but I'm
Speaker 2: gonna at break, I'm gonna make a phone call. Maybe
Speaker 2: maybe I'll have some updated news.
Speaker 3: Wait, can you what's the backstory here?
Speaker 2: She just draws she's got her own talk show? Who
Speaker 2: Kelly Clarkson?
Speaker 3: Who's that?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: No, are you for real? Right now?
Speaker 3: I'm half serious?
Speaker 1: You know what. I'm not even gonna answer that, Queka,
Speaker 1: I found Cooper.
Speaker 3: Everybody is in their fifties. Okay.
Speaker 2: Oh and by the way, I haven't watched American Idol
Speaker 2: in years, have.
Speaker 3: Neither the rest of us.
Speaker 1: I have no interest.
Speaker 2: But the other night I was watching it and I
Speaker 2: think it's episode two. If you don't watch it, you
Speaker 2: do need to watch it.
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Why for this one kid? So this woman comes out
Speaker 2: and the judges this year are this season are Carrie Underwood,
Speaker 2: Lionel Richie And.
Speaker 1: Oh that's why you're watching?
Speaker 2: Well, no, I haven't watched it. I just happened to
Speaker 2: tune in. I was, I don't know, watching something, and
Speaker 2: it just kind of kicked over to it, and another
Speaker 2: country singer I don't know what his name is also
Speaker 2: host it, and this woman comes on and she said, well,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be singing, I'm here to support
Speaker 2: one of my students, and I had written This woman said,
Speaker 2: I had written a song for my son who passed away.
Speaker 2: And I asked the class, how could I put this
Speaker 2: poem to music. Well, this kid is a singer songwriter.
Speaker 2: He took this poem and wrote this song. And I mean,
Speaker 2: I was sobbing, and then like everybody on the panel
Speaker 2: was sobbing, like camera crew people were sobbing. It was
Speaker 2: the most beautiful song. And this kid just wrote never
Speaker 2: he never met this woman's son. Wow, it was so beautiful.
Speaker 1: It was really They were like, yes, we got a story,
Speaker 1: we got a good one, we got a heart, we
Speaker 1: got a tear jerker.
Speaker 2: I mean, and he was the most humble kid. He
Speaker 2: was only seventeen years old, and it was really something else.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: So, by the way, Kelly Clarkson's out due to a
Speaker 3: family emergency.
Speaker 1: Yes, like we just said, it doesn't involve her directly,
Speaker 1: it's family emergency. But it's not like hart.
Speaker 3: No one knew, right, my bad. I thought that far
Speaker 3: was unknown.
Speaker 1: You know, if we want people to listen to our show,
Speaker 1: our producer should also listen to the show.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I was zoning out because you guys are being
Speaker 3: mean to me. Oh wait, not me, That's why it
Speaker 3: was just Laura. Okay, I was gonna say, don't let
Speaker 3: me into that. Don't remember being mean to you exactly.
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean so little to her that she
Speaker 3: doesn't even remember what you mean to me.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, So something is up with Justin.
Speaker 1: I'm worried about Justin Bieber. I'm really worried about him.
Speaker 2: He has the hiccups.
Speaker 3: Justin Bieber does. That's terrible.
Speaker 2: We help them.
Speaker 1: Elvis, Oh, yes, he gets those.
Speaker 2: So it turns out, according to a post in his
Speaker 2: Instagram stories, he said, quote, people told me my whole life, wow, Justin,
Speaker 2: you deserve that. I personally have always felt unworthy, like
Speaker 2: I was a fraud. Like when people told me I
Speaker 2: deserve something, it made me feel sneaky, Like damn. If
Speaker 2: they only knew my thoughts, how judgmental I am, how
Speaker 2: selfish I really am, they wouldn't be saying this. If
Speaker 2: you feel sneaky, welcome to the club. I definitely feel
Speaker 2: unequipped and unqualified. Most days, at least, he seems to
Speaker 2: be working through stuff. Maybe the new music he's been
Speaker 2: teasing will be an outlet for this introspection. Boo, I
Speaker 2: don't care.
Speaker 1: This could be a cry for help A or B.
Speaker 1: This could be just what you said.
Speaker 2: Music, Felicity.
Speaker 3: You don't cry for help to your million tens of
Speaker 3: millions of Instagram followers. You cry to help to your
Speaker 3: friends and your family members and maybe their buses.
Speaker 1: Not necessarily, yes, necessarily because I disagree with you.
Speaker 3: He's like God in such a bad place. Who should
Speaker 3: I go to for help? Oh? I know the people
Speaker 3: I've never met before online?
Speaker 1: His fans, his fan base.
Speaker 3: Fans are not fans are not family.
Speaker 2: Friends.
Speaker 3: Fans are not family or friends.
Speaker 1: I believe our listeners are family.
Speaker 3: I love our listeners. They're not family.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Okay is that controversial, Eric mister? I'm not being negative.
Speaker 1: I feel like, okay.
Speaker 3: If one of our fans was like, hey, do you
Speaker 3: mind if I come in? Great must sit down and
Speaker 3: be like, get out. You're not We're not friends.
Speaker 1: See you. I'm the kind that would say, come on
Speaker 1: in and.
Speaker 3: You get robbed, get killed, I'm going to send someone
Speaker 3: to rob you, and I'll say it's just tell me
Speaker 3: you're a fan.
Speaker 1: And if I get murdered, did I have ay? Told
Speaker 1: you this before. Real quick sidebar, remember because I watched
Speaker 1: Keith Morrison dateline this weekend.
Speaker 2: Was it was it with what's her name? The woman
Speaker 2: on death row? You see that one? No, Oh geez,
Speaker 2: what a nut.
Speaker 3: We're going sidetracked now.
Speaker 1: Listen when I get murdered from one of our family
Speaker 1: Men podcast members that you say is so uh frightening
Speaker 1: that you won't let him in the house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't let them in my house.
Speaker 1: I want my date line to be with Keith Morrison,
Speaker 1: and it's going to be a two hour date line
Speaker 1: and it's going.
Speaker 3: To be God, Laura what Caine was so dumb she
Speaker 3: random people in their house and she got murdered for it.
Speaker 1: But they're they're going to dig up a lot of
Speaker 1: dirt on me and it's gonna be juicy.
Speaker 2: Oh listen, I'm gonna sing like a canary. They won't
Speaker 2: have to do much of the dame.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, her podcast family is even turning again.
Speaker 2: First of all, first of all, going to be suspects.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: First of all, at the beginning of the here's how
Speaker 2: this is going to pan out. They're going to interview
Speaker 2: us here at the scene of the crime. And all
Speaker 2: have already changed the logo.
Speaker 3: We'll leave. We'll leave the tape they put on the.
Speaker 2: Ground, the caution tape behind it, and it'll say like
Speaker 2: Eric Rimmer and producer Brian after dark.
Speaker 3: We'll actually we'll put the chocolate line on the ground.
Speaker 3: Oh you will leave that there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we'll fill it with like flowers and like
Speaker 2: gummy bears and red bull suspect.
Speaker 1: And so are you.
Speaker 3: And you know why because I'll show them the tape
Speaker 3: of her saying I would let them into my house
Speaker 3: and they'll go, oh, that makes sense. Why she got more.
Speaker 1: A distraction from you, from your true intentions.
Speaker 3: You're just deflecting, I know, reflecting whatever. Okay, Anyways, our
Speaker 3: fans please don't come to our houses. Yeah, well, okay, fine,
Speaker 3: come to Laura's house. She'll let you win.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So Beyonce is promoting the new Cowboy Carter tour.
Speaker 1: Do you realize?
Speaker 2: Don't don't care? Okay, And she is now bleaching her
Speaker 2: eyebrows enough.
Speaker 1: It looks alien.
Speaker 2: It's not so weird. I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I don't like that trend.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 3: I do think it's funny though, that you know, she
Speaker 3: won Best country album, which is crazy and go on tour.
Speaker 3: Who the hell is still talking about that album?
Speaker 2: Nobody? And here's the thing. Ticket sales are super low.
Speaker 3: Who listens to was just on tour?
Speaker 2: Right, the Renaissance tour?
Speaker 3: Who knew that? I thought that was a Taylor Swift tour.
Speaker 2: No, it was the Renaissance. It's like a year and
Speaker 2: a half ago.
Speaker 3: Who listen?
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I didn't listen to the new one. I did, but
Speaker 1: I love the last one and I love Lemonade.
Speaker 3: I think Beyonce is overrated.
Speaker 1: Some of her stuff is awesome, but I don't know
Speaker 1: about single Ladies is no that I'm not that that
Speaker 1: was Destiny's Child.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, but that's like her most popular.
Speaker 1: Song, no it is.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I bet single Ladies is still like
Speaker 3: her her chart topping song cuff Yeah, exactly, see cuff it.
Speaker 1: You know what? Just listen to? So not that one,
Speaker 1: but the one before Renaissance. Listen to Renaissance.
Speaker 3: I'm good.
Speaker 2: Renaissance was good. Look.
Speaker 1: Joe Sailor on Instagram says he's been part of my
Speaker 1: family for many ghow he's a fan?
Speaker 3: Who is he?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I love him away, Joe Sailor.
Speaker 3: Are your family?
Speaker 1: He's look private family.
Speaker 3: I'm not here in star our fans. I think they're great.
Speaker 3: Please watch, Please tell your friends whole nine yards. We're
Speaker 3: not family.
Speaker 2: There are a podcast family.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go. No, there are podcast fans and
Speaker 3: we love them when they're fans.
Speaker 2: Family. There are a podcast family. Okay.
Speaker 1: If somebody if I said, hey, Eric, I have two
Speaker 1: tickets to Beyonce's tour. It's in La, it's in two weeks.
Speaker 1: You want to go, would you come?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Maybe too much about trouble?
Speaker 3: Ask me, ask me, hey, I don't want to go?
Speaker 1: Okay? Are you done with their double d?
Speaker 3: I am okay?
Speaker 1: Because now we're on to words of advice from all
Speaker 1: of us. Let's see what kind of thoughtful music is music?
Speaker 1: What's the bottom one say cricket sounds? No, we don't
Speaker 1: like cricket sounds. Just play something to lead us into
Speaker 1: this new sh you okay, okay. This all started on Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I drove to Ranch Cuckamonga, picked up my mother. It
Speaker 1: was pouring rain. That was a date with like poring.
Speaker 3: It was I almost died on the five that day.
Speaker 1: Oh my God picked her up and Rancha cucka manga
Speaker 1: and then we drove to Rancho Mirage where Anti Doodo
Speaker 1: her Judy Church, her best friend since they were fifteen
Speaker 1: years old old. Them both she lived in Rancho Mirage
Speaker 1: half the year, in this little condo complex that she's
Speaker 1: had for years. And when they get together, three things
Speaker 1: are of vital importance.
Speaker 3: Let me guess, cigarettes, smoking, and drinking. Dude, that's how
Speaker 3: I want to spend my last year's It sounds like
Speaker 3: so much fun.
Speaker 1: And so they're both eighty four and they don't look
Speaker 1: at like they're mobile. They've got their brain, they you know,
Speaker 1: and they're doing what they want. So I don't get
Speaker 1: down on her for smoking and stuff. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: you know what, you've earned the right to do whatever you.
Speaker 3: Want exactly your last ten years go if you are.
Speaker 1: Happy, and this is making your happy, that there's something
Speaker 1: to that. So anyway, I thought, you know, I'm going
Speaker 1: to spend this time with these women who have lived
Speaker 1: a lot of life and they have a lot of wisdom.
Speaker 1: So I asked them, I said, I was thinking, I
Speaker 1: want to know what their best piece of advice would
Speaker 1: be for somebody like a younger woman, a man, anybody,
Speaker 1: since they've lived so long. I asked Anti Doodoo. First,
Speaker 1: I go, Judy, I want to know what's the best
Speaker 1: piece of advice you could give somebody. And this is
Speaker 1: a direct quote, find a nice guy, don't marry a
Speaker 1: piece of shit. Okay, So there's that. I go, that
Speaker 1: is that the one you want? Because find a nice guy,
Speaker 1: don't marry a piece of shit? Yes, okay, okay, okay, Mom,
Speaker 1: what about you? She goes. You know, when I was
Speaker 1: a young girl, I lied about everything because I wanted
Speaker 1: to look cool. But then I realized people could check
Speaker 1: up on the lies and then I'd be known as
Speaker 1: a liar. So my piece of advice is, don't be
Speaker 1: a liar. She goes, I've never lied ever since I
Speaker 1: came to that realization and why she was young. I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: don't be a liar.
Speaker 3: That's something a liar would say so they could continue
Speaker 3: lying though.
Speaker 1: And then I asked Antonio, my roommate. His is simple,
Speaker 1: he just live and let live.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: That checks out.
Speaker 1: That totally checks Uh huh, Evan, I go, Evan, what
Speaker 1: is my daughter? What is your best piece of advice?
Speaker 3: I think I could, I could guess this to be
Speaker 3: something along the lines of like chase your dreams or something.
Speaker 1: No, oh really, okay, always no matter what, be yourself.
Speaker 3: I was close.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I asked my friend Maggie, who we know.
Speaker 1: She goes. It was something to the effect of always
Speaker 1: look forward, never look back. The past is the past
Speaker 1: for a reason. And I like that now, Marie. Yes,
Speaker 1: what was Marie's My roommate Marie.
Speaker 2: Is be humble and not assume you know better than
Speaker 2: the person in front of you.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: Mm hm.
Speaker 1: Mine is the only way out is through.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a good one.
Speaker 1: You have to go through some crap to get to
Speaker 1: the good other side, which is usually really worth all
Speaker 1: the hell. You can't like go around it, you have
Speaker 1: to go through.
Speaker 3: I think sometimes you can circumvent crap.
Speaker 1: But the reward at the end is not going to
Speaker 1: be as grand as if you went through all the
Speaker 1: hard times.
Speaker 3: I disagree on that one. That's it sounds good on paper.
Speaker 1: Okay. So I want to know, if you were to
Speaker 1: give one piece of advice to somebody, what is the
Speaker 1: best piece of advice you could give?
Speaker 3: Eric?
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 2: Don't burn your bridges?
Speaker 3: That is so funny coming from Eric.
Speaker 2: I've never burned a bridge, Like I don't.
Speaker 1: Believe that boing you a liar, but I think you
Speaker 1: may have not forget may have forgotten a couple.
Speaker 2: Of things in in like business and.
Speaker 3: In businesses are the only bridges he's burned.
Speaker 2: No, no, because you never know. And my dad taught
Speaker 2: me this very young, because you know, like if you
Speaker 2: walked out of a out of a job like no notice,
Speaker 2: middle fingers in the air, like have you? You don't know
Speaker 2: if down the line you're going to be working at
Speaker 2: a company and the person that you pissed off at
Speaker 2: the last job is now going to be your boss.
Speaker 1: That's agree.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's just And I'm talking in terms of this,
Speaker 2: like you know, and providing for yourself and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: You just don't want to do that and you see
Speaker 2: it all the time.
Speaker 1: Just keep your cool, Keep your cool. Ran at the
Speaker 1: ripe age of twenty four, What is the best piece
Speaker 1: of advice you have?
Speaker 3: My piece of advice I actually think is the best
Speaker 3: you'll hear tonight. Mine is that your success in life
Speaker 3: will be determined by your willingness to have difficult conversations
Speaker 3: or uncomfortable conversations.
Speaker 2: That's good. This is why our son is twenty four
Speaker 2: going on sixty four.
Speaker 3: Laura, this isn't an issue for you because you there
Speaker 3: is not an uncomfortable conversation you won't.
Speaker 2: Initiate for sure.
Speaker 3: But there are a lot of people who their lives
Speaker 3: could have been radically different had they been willing to
Speaker 3: have an uncomfortable conversation or like a conversational conversation.
Speaker 1: A truth mom, like, yeah, to be honest, Yeah, always,
Speaker 1: because you're gonna get caught if you lie. It's eventually
Speaker 1: going to come out.
Speaker 3: Well, it's not lying. It's just like a lot of
Speaker 3: people aren't willing to fight for something because it may
Speaker 3: lead to like a weird confrontation. But yeah, those confrontations
Speaker 3: could very easily dramatically change the course of your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: All I see is it build your network and can
Speaker 1: make new friends. What does that mean?
Speaker 3: That's a LinkedIn advice.
Speaker 1: Say hello to at least five people you don't know
Speaker 1: every day? Now why not?
Speaker 3: No? I mean it's not bad advice, but that is
Speaker 3: totally something.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 1: I like that you like all advice, Laura. I like
Speaker 1: all advice. Yes, And if you guys have any more advice.
Speaker 1: I would love to hear it big time. Okay, coming
Speaker 1: up next episode? Uh huh, because this is a little
Speaker 1: bit of a shorty unless we want to do Actually,
Speaker 1: we'll do one more story, okay, okay, and then I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what's coming up in Thursdays. I want to
Speaker 1: know which one of these old people habits you guys have.
Speaker 2: Bled on to all of them.
Speaker 1: Especially, I'm curious to know, will you and I probably
Speaker 1: do all of these? I want to know which ones
Speaker 1: do you do at twenty four years old?
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Okay, so and some of these are really great, all right?
Speaker 2: Oh lord?
Speaker 1: So on social media people were talking about old people
Speaker 1: habits that they have like taken upon themselves and going, wait,
Speaker 1: this is a really great idea doing weekend errands before
Speaker 1: noon to beat the crowds.
Speaker 2: Yes, you do do that? Oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 3: I'm a I'm a late errand type of guyme.
Speaker 1: I'm a right before closing?
Speaker 2: What is wrong that you do?
Speaker 1: I just like shop. I just like being out at night.
Speaker 3: I'm a three four pm person.
Speaker 2: Oh no, worst time nine o'clock.
Speaker 3: Maybe the weekends of like eleven am. It's a nice
Speaker 3: time a day to be out.
Speaker 1: Eating dinner like warily like four or five.
Speaker 3: Now I'm still my eat dinner late, and I'm.
Speaker 2: Still at work.
Speaker 1: I'm in a weird place right now where I'm not hungry.
Speaker 1: But then come nine o'clock, I'm starving and I have
Speaker 1: a huge meal. That's got to be bad for.
Speaker 2: Me, that is bad for yours. I'm supposed to eat
Speaker 2: after set.
Speaker 3: Some days, I'm like, eat lunch at four pm, eat
Speaker 3: dinner at eight pm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're awest.
Speaker 3: I like, actually, I think that's fun.
Speaker 1: If you go to bed, like if you have time
Speaker 1: to burn it off a little bit, right, ignoring the clock,
Speaker 1: meaning eat when you're hungry and sleep when you're tired.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, but I don't think we have that luxury. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we don't have that luxury yet. Using lap blankets or
Speaker 1: even electric blankets to stay warm.
Speaker 3: I've been using electric blankets for years.
Speaker 2: In one I don't have an electric I have a
Speaker 2: lot of throws.
Speaker 3: Here's the best thing is all. Like, if I want
Speaker 3: to watch TV, like laying on my bed or something,
Speaker 3: you're not really quite ready to commit to getting under
Speaker 3: the covers. What you do is you turn on the
Speaker 3: heat a blanket, you crank that sucker up makes the
Speaker 3: surface of your bed warm. Sometimes I sleep like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm getting on Amazon.
Speaker 3: T Yeah, worth it. I think it's what I say,
Speaker 3: it's a luxurious experience.
Speaker 1: That's missing in my life. I think that electric blanket.
Speaker 3: Yes, sometimes I will go to bed just on top
Speaker 3: of my bed with the heat of blanket on because
Speaker 3: it's it's nothing, because it's more comfortable. Woo.
Speaker 1: Okay, switching to comfortable clothes indoors, like slippers and sweatpants.
Speaker 1: When you come in and after a day's work.
Speaker 3: I just know, Okay, you just take all your clothes.
Speaker 1: I do you just you just rip your clothes off
Speaker 1: and keep them off. When you're alone in your home,
Speaker 1: you're naked.
Speaker 3: Well, not one hundred percent of the time, but yeah,
Speaker 3: you must have his here cranked.
Speaker 1: No, I really really wanted to install a little teeny
Speaker 1: camera that would be so now in his room to
Speaker 1: see how he sleeps.
Speaker 3: At nine there I want to see.
Speaker 1: Oh I want.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you how I sleep. I sleep in a
Speaker 2: little ball and I never move.
Speaker 3: What So you sleep butt naked in the fetal position
Speaker 3: pretty much like like literally like a baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet he has crazy dreams where you like
Speaker 1: yell stuff out you don't even know, and you snore
Speaker 1: like crazy and you probably don't even know.
Speaker 2: I don't snore.
Speaker 3: It waxed up with a kickstand.
Speaker 2: Oh for sure your house and all, oh you might
Speaker 2: get pregnant. God doubted that was good.
Speaker 1: Wanting to stay home instead of going out let for me.
Speaker 1: I don't want to go out. I'm over it. Ye
Speaker 1: takes too much energy.
Speaker 3: I've been like that since twenty one.
Speaker 2: I had some friends that were like, do you want
Speaker 2: to go to the movies? And I was like, when
Speaker 2: they're late tonight? And I'm like what time? It was
Speaker 2: like seven o'clock and they're all, there's a a ten
Speaker 2: pm show and I'm all pm. It was like, no, way, okay.
Speaker 3: Sometimes going out real late it's fun, not even you.
Speaker 2: Have don't work in the oh yeah, I didn't even
Speaker 2: have to work in the morning. I was off.
Speaker 1: If your mind is already like shutting down, going.
Speaker 3: To like a ten pm movie and like sweats and
Speaker 3: a hoodie though is.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'd be I'd just stay home. I'd
Speaker 2: be asleep now. I wouldn't be here for you.
Speaker 3: No, just do it spontaneously. It's fun.
Speaker 1: Now this I have adopted years ago, and it is
Speaker 1: the best. Using close captioning on absolutely everything you watch.
Speaker 1: You pick up on so many things you missed because
Speaker 1: the actors mumble.
Speaker 2: I only use the close captioning on porn.
Speaker 1: Kidding, you are ridiculous?
Speaker 3: What oh, thank you? I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: Do either of you even for vitamins? Have a pill organizer?
Speaker 2: And I have two?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: I have? I think I have two?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have.
Speaker 2: I take so many supplements that I have two.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you do this if before you go on
Speaker 1: vacation you plan everything out on the computer, but you
Speaker 1: print it out so you have a print out of
Speaker 1: your itinerary you print?
Speaker 3: My dad does do that? Yeah, and a clear clear
Speaker 3: like paper protector.
Speaker 2: Yeah. How old is your dad?
Speaker 3: He's in his fifties.
Speaker 2: Am I older than your dad?
Speaker 3: Yeah, only by a couple of years.
Speaker 2: I don't have a bitch. Yeah I do that.
Speaker 1: What about this having a plastic bag full of other
Speaker 1: plastic bags because you never know when you're gonna need
Speaker 1: a plastic bag in your car? No, I don't, oh
Speaker 1: in my car or anywhere.
Speaker 3: That's a that's like a mom thing. That's not even
Speaker 3: like a grandma thing.
Speaker 1: It is an older person thing.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I see a lot of Like I noticed that with
Speaker 1: Judy and my mom over the weekend in Rench a mirage.
Speaker 1: They had a bag full of plastic bags.
Speaker 3: Oh you know what, yeah, you might be right.
Speaker 1: Actually, oh this one. How about lowering the volume when
Speaker 1: you are trying to parallel park.
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, that's everybody. That's not old people think that's everybody.
Speaker 1: Does everybody really do that?
Speaker 3: I thought I'm a psychology thing.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Age having a box of tissue in every.
Speaker 3: Room, No, I own the single box of tissues.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: We're blessed because if we had to blow our nose
Speaker 1: that we had allergies all day long, that my fingers. Okay,
Speaker 1: And what do you think about those strap on? Those
Speaker 1: straps like strap on if you wear glasses, No, so
Speaker 1: you never us.
Speaker 3: That's like a nineties thing.
Speaker 2: That is you might as well just crawl into a grave.
Speaker 3: See old people use those anymore. I think that that's gone.
Speaker 1: Yeah that was.
Speaker 3: A ninety thing because you thought it was sunglasses too.
Speaker 2: You know when my this is regarding like the Kleenex. Hopefully,
Speaker 2: well someday everybody will have to do this. But when
Speaker 2: my mom passed away, when I was going through like
Speaker 2: her clothes and donating them and everything, every single pocket
Speaker 2: headache next.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I was recently going through the ceased family
Speaker 3: member's closet and every jacket.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought about this yesterday. I'm like, if I died today,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the things they'd have to go through
Speaker 1: and find and go.
Speaker 3: W Now, all your team of stuff will fall apart
Speaker 3: when you die.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know what. Oh God, please please
Speaker 2: please do because you know you're in my will.
Speaker 1: What do you want? What do you want?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: No, I mean what do I have that you want?
Speaker 2: I want to be I want to be able to
Speaker 2: pick out your clothes for your burial, because I'm going
Speaker 2: to I'm going to bury you in the most outrageous
Speaker 2: I'm going to bury you in those chicken foot stockings
Speaker 2: with like clear looseight stripper heels. Can you I want
Speaker 2: to be comfortable, though, Oh yeah, you'll be comfortable.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not going to be buried. I want to
Speaker 1: be torched.
Speaker 2: I don't want to think, Okay, I can I do this?
Speaker 2: Can I do this?
Speaker 3: Will?
Speaker 2: Will you allow the morgue to let me dress you?
Speaker 2: Up before we put.
Speaker 1: You in the oven, or just bury me in the
Speaker 1: backyard save all that money.
Speaker 3: Wish. Actually, that's how I want to go, Like really
Speaker 3: gothic medieval.
Speaker 1: Stuff like the ant, like the warm.
Speaker 3: Stay cross above a mounted dirt and I just want
Speaker 3: to be under there.
Speaker 2: Can we take you to a taxidermist and have you stuffed?
Speaker 1: It'd be funny, sure, but I think I would look
Speaker 1: like way weirder than a wax figurine.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're already a lot of wax.
Speaker 3: Anyways, will donate her the science or they do that
Speaker 3: those exhibits, they peel back your skin and stuff and
Speaker 3: then we'll steal it and so we can we'll put
Speaker 3: it in our living room and display and be like
Speaker 3: that's Laura. Those are all her veins.
Speaker 1: I just filled out my renewal for my license, and
Speaker 1: I'm like organ donation. Sure, but I'm thinking to myself,
Speaker 1: I don't want your liver. They don't want my liver?
Speaker 1: Do they want my kidneys?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Eyes aren't that great? Like they can have my implants?
Speaker 2: Yeah, those are really.
Speaker 1: Good eyes, nose, ears, I don't know whatever. All right?
Speaker 1: Now coming up on Thursday's episode, Now this could either
Speaker 1: go really really well and be super funny, or it's
Speaker 1: going to be a complete dud, which will also be funny.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a new game kind of like we
Speaker 1: have to act out things. If we make one of
Speaker 1: each other laugh, you get a special coin. Whoever has
Speaker 1: the most coins at the end of this game wins.
Speaker 1: But it could be really really awful too. I mean,
Speaker 1: it could be a dud, but we'll see. So this
Speaker 1: would be.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I have the whole thing planned out. It's a game,
Speaker 1: and then we can either do I have a new
Speaker 1: bunch of questions for the question game, and I also
Speaker 1: have some good random news and just a lot of
Speaker 1: good stuff. So you're gonna want.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, did you read this story. It's been
Speaker 2: all over the the internet right now about that gynecologist
Speaker 2: that was deaf and how successful he is.
Speaker 3: No, I mean, oh, he's about to tell a joke.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, he's one of the most successful gynecologists
Speaker 2: in the world and he's deaf.
Speaker 3: Okay, what's the punchline.
Speaker 2: He's a really good lip reader.
Speaker 1: I told you you know how I feel about you.
Speaker 1: Everybody love your podcast.
Speaker 3: Sorry, actually sound you be like wa. They all go all.
Speaker 1: Because you know. I believe everything you start and I'm pissed.
Speaker 3: I told you it was a joke.
Speaker 1: I know, and they went back into it like he
Speaker 1: was ring real. I can't. I hate it. Log out.
Speaker 1: Sorry we had to end on this note. His fault.
Speaker 1: He knows better.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, look out. Love your podcast.
Speaker 1: I love you, my sweet babies so much. Bye guys,
Speaker 1: Bye family by podcast Fabily fans.
Speaker 2: Laura, you're so beautiful. Eric, You're so strange.