WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>This is Gary and Shannon and you're listening to kf

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<v Speaker 1>I AM six forty, the Gary and Shannon Show on

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<v Speaker 1>demand on the iHeartRadio app.

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<v Speaker 2>Neil Savedra and Marlatte is in for Gary and Shannon

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<v Speaker 2>today and throughout the remainder of the week, and of

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<v Speaker 2>course right now at eleven oh four.

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<v Speaker 3>You know what time that is, Yeah, what time is it?

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<v Speaker 4>It's time for swamp watch.

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<v Speaker 3>Swamp is horrible.

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<v Speaker 4>The government doesn't come.

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<v Speaker 2>Man, you're gonna make this like a reality TV show.

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<v Speaker 3>A bad bos.

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<v Speaker 4>Always a pleasure to be anywhere from Washington, d C. Hey, Joe.

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<v Speaker 1>A town wall too, clearly built on a swamp and

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<v Speaker 1>in so many ways.

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<v Speaker 3>Still a swamp watching. Malarkey said, drained the swamp. I said,

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<v Speaker 3>Oh that's so hope. Keep you know the thing.

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<v Speaker 2>All right.

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<v Speaker 1>Federal judge on Tuesday denied former President Donald Trump's second

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<v Speaker 1>and last ditch bid to transfer his New York hush

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<v Speaker 1>money case to a federal court.

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<v Speaker 4>He wanted this, but that has now since been denied.

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<v Speaker 1>This means that the ruling will happen, or it is

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<v Speaker 1>expected to happen, for his May conviction a little later

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<v Speaker 1>this month September.

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<v Speaker 4>The eighteenth.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's kind of It's interesting because he's arguing that

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<v Speaker 2>he wants it to be a federal trial and to transfer,

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<v Speaker 2>and so he you know, his people and his attorney

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<v Speaker 2>are making that case. But he's saying that the current

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<v Speaker 2>judge is biased there in New York, and the judge

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<v Speaker 2>in this case is saying, you know, that still doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>present a federal question, now justified jurisdiction change or any

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<v Speaker 2>of that.

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<v Speaker 1>So the judges John Juan Mershaun and he had asked

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<v Speaker 1>the judge to set aside the jury's verdict because it

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<v Speaker 1>allegedly relied on evidence of Trump's quote official and therefore

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<v Speaker 1>immune conduct, but also has requested that the judge delay

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<v Speaker 1>has sentencing until after the November election, and both motions

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<v Speaker 1>are still pending.

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<v Speaker 2>So in the meantime on just strategy, Yeah, if it

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<v Speaker 2>goes to the federal level and he becomes president again,

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<v Speaker 2>then it puts things into a better context and also

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<v Speaker 2>being able to make the argument that it was an

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<v Speaker 2>official act and.

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<v Speaker 3>Then of course he's immune. If there's any problems, all.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, Donald Trump Kamala Harris too close to call in

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<v Speaker 1>two very key battle ground states.

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<v Speaker 4>This is according to a latest poll, a new poll

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<v Speaker 4>from CNN.

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<v Speaker 1>SSRs and these two states versuial tie, Pennsylvania and Georgia.

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<v Speaker 2>And we've seen these going back and forth, and it's

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<v Speaker 2>hard to tell what's real because a lot of people

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<v Speaker 2>will take these a screen grab that looks like it's

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<v Speaker 2>from television and they'll throw up, you know, a bunch

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<v Speaker 2>of different numbers and what have you.

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<v Speaker 3>So we've seen a lot of this.

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<v Speaker 2>How Ever, it has after the big bump that everybody

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<v Speaker 2>gets from the RNC and the DNC, things are kind

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<v Speaker 2>of leveling out and they seem neck and neck in

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of areas, maybe up a point or two here,

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<v Speaker 2>two there, but this is pretty much a dead heat

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<v Speaker 2>in these two major states. So this is going to

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<v Speaker 2>be an interesting part of the race. Of course, the

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<v Speaker 2>rest of us here in southern California. California know that

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<v Speaker 2>if you vote anything other than Democrat, you're kind of

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<v Speaker 2>it's kind of a wasted vote, you know.

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<v Speaker 4>So we are in a royal blue state.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly, so it doesn't really matter most of the time, unfortunately.

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<v Speaker 1>Well yeah, I mean, so the election will be called

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<v Speaker 1>by the top battleground states.

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<v Speaker 4>And I mentioned this on Monday. I do refer to

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<v Speaker 4>Real Clear Politics quite a bit.

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<v Speaker 1>They take the average of you know, X amount of

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<v Speaker 1>polls on a daily basis, and Pennsylvania literally tied. Georgia

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<v Speaker 1>Harris is at point one, so again tie, and most

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<v Speaker 1>of them in fact Arizona, Nevada, Wisconsin, Michigan, in North Carolina.

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<v Speaker 4>You could essentially say that they're all virtual ties right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, because Trump's at point seven in North Carolina,

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<v Speaker 1>Harris is at point six in Nevada.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, this is all within the margin of error.

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<v Speaker 2>This is depending on where you said, I suppose this

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<v Speaker 2>is going to be an interesting little nail bier.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. And then there's the question of which, of course

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<v Speaker 1>the Trump camp says, and there is reason to believe

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<v Speaker 1>that it could be happening that Republicans are underpolled in

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<v Speaker 1>many of these polls.

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<v Speaker 4>There's that issue.

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<v Speaker 1>There was evidence of that in twenty sixteen, evidence of

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<v Speaker 1>that in twenty twenty, and you won't know until so.

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<v Speaker 3>Because they have jobs after the fact of when the.

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<v Speaker 1>Election results come out after November the fifth, How off

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<v Speaker 1>or on the polls were right.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, sometimes better than we've seen things switch. Well, you

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<v Speaker 3>just don't. It is like trying to predict the weather

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<v Speaker 3>it's going to be.

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<v Speaker 4>There are meteorologists for that, yes, but they don't predict it.

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<v Speaker 3>They forecast, Yes, they forecast and then it's wrong.

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<v Speaker 4>Darn it.

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<v Speaker 1>Well not here in Los Angeles seventy two degrees. Well

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<v Speaker 1>right now we're in the heat wave.

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<v Speaker 2>So interestingly, Robert F. Kennedy Junior slammed Vice President Harris

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<v Speaker 2>Candidacy just yesterday, but not on you know, typical. These

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<v Speaker 2>are her her points of interest, This is what she's

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<v Speaker 2>going to do. This one was if she he says

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<v Speaker 2>she's not worthy a worthy president because she doesn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to have an interview or she doesn't do interviews and

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<v Speaker 2>he wants a president who can give an interview.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the question is is it hurting her the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that she's not doing these interviews. I mean there was

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<v Speaker 1>the big wind ye right, there's the big wind up

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<v Speaker 1>of she hadn't done anything, she's not going in front

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<v Speaker 1>of the cameras. And then last week, of course the

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<v Speaker 1>CNN interview where she didn't even do it alone and

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<v Speaker 1>was chastised for that because she wasn't alone and she

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't take a lot of time out to answer questions,

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<v Speaker 1>unlike Trump, who's in front of a camera all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>In fact, he's doing a town hall tonight with Fox's

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<v Speaker 1>Sean Hannity.

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<v Speaker 2>I just had a vision of like one of those

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<v Speaker 2>head cameras, like with a GoPro that you know, snowboarders

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<v Speaker 2>where whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>That Trump would just.

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<v Speaker 2>Have that on him twenty four to seven idea, and

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<v Speaker 2>you could patch into him at anytime at anytime, just

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<v Speaker 2>the Trump cam, and it's just from that weird point

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<v Speaker 2>of view that looks like the blurring project. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 2>you're like, what the hell's going on? But I do

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<v Speaker 2>think there's a couple things that are bugging me about

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<v Speaker 2>where we've gone and where we've gotten to rather, I guess,

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<v Speaker 2>and that is that we don't demand as the American

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<v Speaker 2>people debates that that's not built that that's just not

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<v Speaker 2>built in. Hey, if you're the top five or whatever,

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<v Speaker 2>they're going to be debates, period. You don't get to

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<v Speaker 2>decide if you're going to debate or not. Well, has

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<v Speaker 2>to be debates. And two, you have to do interviews.

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<v Speaker 2>You have we deserve to know who you are as

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<v Speaker 2>much as possible and have access to you. And if

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<v Speaker 2>you're not a good speaker, fine, there are there are

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of people that don't speak well, and you

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<v Speaker 2>go lead on that. Listen, I'm not a great speaker.

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<v Speaker 2>These are you know, these are the issues that I

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<v Speaker 2>care about. These, you know, so my partner might be

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<v Speaker 2>you know, it reminds me of Scripture, reminds me of Moses.

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<v Speaker 2>God says, hey, go tell the people this, and he goes, uh,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't talk so good. Why don't you go ask

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<v Speaker 2>my brother? It's like you'll be fine. You know, there's

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes that's that might be your thing. Listen, I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>a fancy talker, right.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just like you're If you're not a good test taker,

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't mean that you're stupid exactly.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, No, I get that.

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<v Speaker 3>I believe you deserve to hear some of my thoughts,

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<v Speaker 3>and this is what they are.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I think about first of all, historically, debates really

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<v Speaker 1>haven't moved the needle until June twenty seventh, and then

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<v Speaker 1>we saw how that moved the needle. So now will

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<v Speaker 1>this debate, which is now six days away and by

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<v Speaker 1>all accounts it's supposed to happen. Although Harris is still

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<v Speaker 1>pushing back on she wants the MIC's open, and Trump's

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<v Speaker 1>team says no, Mike's will be muted fighty twist that. Yeah, really,

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<v Speaker 1>So we'll see if how this would move the needle.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think that it could have a significant impact

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<v Speaker 1>one way or the other. And then also to your

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<v Speaker 1>point about doing interviews just to get a job these days,

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<v Speaker 1>how many interviews do you have to go through absolutely

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<v Speaker 1>to get a job. It's not just one interview. You

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<v Speaker 1>have to go through several interviews by and large. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>the person who wants to be the president of the

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<v Speaker 1>United States should should.

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<v Speaker 4>Have to do that as well.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we should have open access to the person who

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<v Speaker 2>wants this job the best of our though.

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<v Speaker 4>Deborah Mark, get Kamala Harris on the line, now, Okay,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm on it.

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<v Speaker 2>She's got it on a speed dial. You know, we

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<v Speaker 2>were talking earlier about the cars. We'll get back to

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<v Speaker 2>some more swamp watch. When we were talking about that,

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<v Speaker 2>knew someome law.

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<v Speaker 1>About already knew if you go over ten miles per hour,

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<v Speaker 1>be on the speed limit.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And then we talked about that they have those lane things,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, they're lane things. Yeah, you were saying that they'll, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you're going into different lanes. Would that be fun if

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<v Speaker 2>if if if people had those, So like, if some

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<v Speaker 2>guy comes into a man's playing something, it goes, stay

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<v Speaker 2>in your lane, Stay.

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<v Speaker 3>In your lane.

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<v Speaker 4>My radar would be going off NonStop.

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<v Speaker 2>Wouldn't that be funny every time somebody goes, uh, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>like Cliff Claven or something, it's like, you know, uh,

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<v Speaker 2>it's like stay in your lane, stay in your lane.

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<v Speaker 4>Maybe I would get a kick out of that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I would get one of those.

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<v Speaker 2>I would all right, so Biden, President, Oh, that's not

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<v Speaker 2>the one I wanted to start with.

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<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't Just where did I put that? This story?

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<v Speaker 3>Which one I just turned in? Oh, it's right here.

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<v Speaker 3>I just turned into Bill Handle. Where's my head? Okay?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, no, you need it for Tata.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I was laughing at this story. How Harris and Waltz

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<v Speaker 2>Walls are like channeling this cheesy sitcom buddy cop energy

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<v Speaker 2>on some of the videos and some of the things

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<v Speaker 2>of them. You know, they haven't known each other very long.

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<v Speaker 1>No, in fact, they of all the VP nominees and

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<v Speaker 1>the you know picks going into this, they didn't really

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<v Speaker 1>know each other at all. Whereas she had already established

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship with Joshapiro, for example, and so go ahead.

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<v Speaker 3>So they're saying that this kind of.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, all of them are sort of artificial, right, the

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<v Speaker 2>kind of like we stand together.

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<v Speaker 4>You and I barely know each other.

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<v Speaker 2>So, yeah, we're not fans at all. It takes us

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<v Speaker 2>so long to look at each other when we do

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<v Speaker 2>the show. We start with our backs, turn and then

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<v Speaker 2>slowly set in the other room. By the fourth hour,

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<v Speaker 2>we're sort of almost thirty five degrees from each other strong,

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<v Speaker 2>but we fake it well. So but you got to

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<v Speaker 2>imagine that when you do that, you're standing for the

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<v Speaker 2>country and in this you know, hey, we're going to

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<v Speaker 2>be sturdy together. We've got each other's back, We've got

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<v Speaker 2>your back. But they have They refer to this Taco's

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<v Speaker 2>video that set the stage. It was released by Kamla

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<v Speaker 2>Harris's and Tim Wall's campaign days before the Democratic Convention,

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<v Speaker 2>and it showed them hanging out. They're chatting at a

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<v Speaker 2>jazz club in Detroit, and you know, they're being pals,

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<v Speaker 2>laughing ahaha, and everything about their differences musical tastes. He

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<v Speaker 2>likes Springsteen and Seeger and she's Aretha and Prince and

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<v Speaker 2>she mocked him for not answering her phone call yet,

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<v Speaker 2>did you hear about that how he didn't even pick

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<v Speaker 2>up the phone when she called originally to yea, so

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<v Speaker 2>come on, Walls, pick up the phone. And then she

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<v Speaker 2>teased him for eating what he calls white guy tacos.

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<v Speaker 5>What is that?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know what white people tacos are.

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<v Speaker 2>They also refer to him as black people tacos sometimes,

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<v Speaker 2>because it is when you use the hardshell and the

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<v Speaker 2>cheese and the treaded lettuce and the tomato.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, yeah, it's like, well that you can get

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<v Speaker 4>that a taco bell exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>Ingo. So that's basic. They're delicious. Don't get me wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>I grew up on him as well. There's no shame

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<v Speaker 2>in that game. So they go back and full it's

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<v Speaker 2>and and he referred to when she was joking with him,

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<v Speaker 2>She's like, what does that mean?

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<v Speaker 3>Does that mean like mayonnaise and tuna? And it's like boying,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, like the gonna have catchphrases I didn't do.

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<v Speaker 4>It was that the Super Mario Brothers jingle.

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<v Speaker 2>Kind of but that, you know, that kind of fake camaraderie.

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<v Speaker 2>We're having a great time. We're gonna do the freeze

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<v Speaker 2>frame after we jump up at the end of the

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<v Speaker 2>you know, show and five, and people are saying, it's

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<v Speaker 2>kind of.

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<v Speaker 3>It's kind of getting a notchious.

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<v Speaker 4>Well channeling sort of a cheesy sitcom energy.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I've seen it, you know, the laughing and

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<v Speaker 2>the and he's kind of reeled down to earth.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the sort of Brady bunch, the blended family, the

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<v Speaker 1>cool woman, the dorky guy sort of a thing.

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<v Speaker 3>What wait what.

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<v Speaker 4>The cool woman and the dorky guy a thing. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>it's like you use that one asn't you know? Come

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<v Speaker 4>on now?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, the next one is the woman in charge stereo

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<v Speaker 2>type of the isn't that kind of like from the

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<v Speaker 2>Hallmark movies. I'm just a woman that really is focused

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<v Speaker 2>on my career here in New York that's probably dealing

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<v Speaker 2>with fashion or marketing. And now I've got to go

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<v Speaker 2>to this small town to deal with my dad's old

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<v Speaker 2>tree factory.

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<v Speaker 4>And then the love of my life is going to

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<v Speaker 4>walk in.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to go to a tree factory because they

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<v Speaker 2>just grow. It's a farm, right, Okay, So here he's

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<v Speaker 2>here always like when you're trying to do a we

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<v Speaker 2>got it down, we got it down? Does this count

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<v Speaker 2>for swap swamp? Watch the h we never actually fully

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<v Speaker 2>explain this.

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<v Speaker 1>Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a

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<v Speaker 1>little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

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<v Speaker 4>Quoted by Benjamin Franklin.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I thought someone else said it as well,

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<v Speaker 2>but a shorter version. Oh that was too worthy for you. No, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>but no, I'm a huge Franklin fan. I'm just I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like someone else said. Oh, hold on Thomas Jefferson.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, but he said it more concise, right, No, that's

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<v Speaker 3>not to be liberty.

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<v Speaker 1>They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little

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<v Speaker 1>temporary safety deserve.

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<v Speaker 4>No, that's pretty much the same thing.

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<v Speaker 3>Said it man.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, Thomas Jefferson said this. Pardon me.

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<v Speaker 1>The people are the only sure reliance for the preservation

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<v Speaker 1>of our liberty.

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<v Speaker 2>No, that's not what I was thinking. Okay, we are

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<v Speaker 2>not getting any closer to it. Okay, all right, there's

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<v Speaker 2>another story for swamp watch.

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<v Speaker 3>This is another. It's almost sad to watch President Biden.

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<v Speaker 2>Now. It's even worse than before because now it feels

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<v Speaker 2>like everybody's treating him like no, no, no, you're the man,

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<v Speaker 2>You're the president. What do you think, Kamala. It's like

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<v Speaker 2>every time you see him. It just seems like he's

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<v Speaker 2>more lame duck than any other lame duck in the

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<v Speaker 2>lame duck pond. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So he he uh delivered a speech about his investing

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<v Speaker 1>in America. He touted his accomplishments as president.

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<v Speaker 4>And then for a full minute. A minute is a

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<v Speaker 4>long time if you're being peppered with questions.

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<v Speaker 3>A minute is a long time for anything. True. I

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<v Speaker 3>always used the baby crying test.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's think of a baby crying as a runner

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<v Speaker 1>a minute. If you keep looking at your watch in

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<v Speaker 1>a minute's time, you look down and you're like, it's

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<v Speaker 1>got to be a minute at least it's fifteen seconds.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, running So.

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<v Speaker 4>Literally, for sixty.

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<v Speaker 1>Seconds, reporters could be heard asking about various key issues

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<v Speaker 1>like establishing a ceasefire in the Israel Hamas war free

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<v Speaker 1>IVF treatment. That's something that Donald Trump said that he

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<v Speaker 1>would provide if elected president. They asked him about high

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<v Speaker 1>grocery prices, and he literally sat there and didn't say anything,

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<v Speaker 1>And concluding his remarks, he said, may God protect our troops,

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<v Speaker 1>and then he just sat at the desk smiling awkwardly.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, but they say ignore. I don't know if he's

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<v Speaker 3>ignoring them. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 5>The question is he can hear no if if he's coherent,

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<v Speaker 5>you know, a full minute, and he's grinning, and those

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<v Speaker 5>are all signs.

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<v Speaker 2>Have you ever seen somebody as they slip into dementia.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's very sad. But one of the things that

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<v Speaker 2>you will note, but they grin a lot more smile

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<v Speaker 2>like that.

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<v Speaker 3>You're doing right, are you? Okay?

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<v Speaker 2>But that's the that and and that's the look on

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00:17:35.319 --> 00:17:37.400
<v Speaker 2>his face that I'm looking at. I mean that kind

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<v Speaker 2>of blank grin. And that's the president of these United States,

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<v Speaker 2>the highest office in the land, and they're asking him

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00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:51.480
<v Speaker 2>questions and he's just you know, there's.

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<v Speaker 4>The other side that he could be thinking. The pressure's

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<v Speaker 4>off me. Now you know, all your attentions on kamala anyway, Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Then you say say, I'm not taking any questions, but

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<v Speaker 2>thank you or whatever. But to sit there and smile

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<v Speaker 2>and wait for somebody to yo.

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<v Speaker 1>Cut well, and his staffers literally ushered him away, yeah,

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00:18:09.400 --> 00:18:11.240
<v Speaker 1>saying thank you, press.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and he said horn Pop's a bad dude, and

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<v Speaker 2>then they whisked him away. The beginning of swamp watch ah, right,

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<v Speaker 2>it's time for a little uh, parental guidance from.

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<v Speaker 3>Our dangerous When you saw.

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<v Speaker 6>That guidance, there, you know a little bit of parent

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know if I have any business being a guide.

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<v Speaker 6>My job is to keep the bar low. I feel

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<v Speaker 6>that way everybody feels more comfortable with the believe.

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<v Speaker 3>It was Lincoln who said I learned something from everyone

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<v Speaker 3>I meet. It's usually what not to do. Oh interesting, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>there you go. Then I'm definitely here to provide that.

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<v Speaker 6>Although I did have a huge parental win where I

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<v Speaker 6>had to, I did a lot of for anybody who

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<v Speaker 6>tuned in. Last week, I talked about my dad passed away,

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<v Speaker 6>and so I was gone while he was. You know,

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<v Speaker 6>we found out he had stage four pancreatic cancer. And

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<v Speaker 6>I was gone from most of the month of August

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<v Speaker 6>helping out with my dad and my mom, and had

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<v Speaker 6>to stick around for about ten days after he passed,

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<v Speaker 6>just to help get affairs in order. And I came

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<v Speaker 6>back home and my son had his sixteenth birthday and

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<v Speaker 6>my wife had her birthday, and so we were like

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<v Speaker 6>all together, and I made a comment with my family

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<v Speaker 6>of four where I said, I've learned that I get

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<v Speaker 6>a little cranky when I can't be around you guys.

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<v Speaker 6>Like when stuff happens where I can't be around my

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<v Speaker 6>wife and kids, I get agitated. And it was the

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<v Speaker 6>most heartwarming thing that both of my sons at the

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<v Speaker 6>same time they went nah, And it was so like

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<v Speaker 6>it was almost kind of frustrated because they're aout teenagers,

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<v Speaker 6>so I get a lot of attitude now, but it

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<v Speaker 6>was also like, so it was a little bit of like, hey,

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<v Speaker 6>you're making fun of me, but also it was heartwarming

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<v Speaker 6>that they understood this aspect of my personality well before

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<v Speaker 6>I had even figured it out. I mean, he's sixteen

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<v Speaker 6>years old, and it had a grasp on this being

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<v Speaker 6>a thing. Like I thought that if they thought I

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<v Speaker 6>was in a bad Buddhist because I was tired of

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<v Speaker 6>stress because of my job, which I've always tried really

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<v Speaker 6>hard not to do that, but sitting on.

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<v Speaker 2>The ca together and it's just their presence. Yes, you

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<v Speaker 2>could be in the garage working on something or whatever,

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00:20:05.480 --> 00:20:09.599
<v Speaker 2>but I need to run in joke or poke at them. Yeah,

391
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:12.799
<v Speaker 2>you say hello, give give the missus a hug. Whatever

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00:20:12.839 --> 00:20:15.359
<v Speaker 2>it is, there is something in that. It is the

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<v Speaker 2>energy is palpable when your family's gone.

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<v Speaker 4>That is why justin Worsham, you are our parental source.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, yes, listen, if there's one aspect at least my kids,

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know. That's the other thing is I am.

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<v Speaker 6>I I don't know if I'm being making them, being

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00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:32.400
<v Speaker 6>codependent of them. It's like, yeah, we know, we have

399
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:34.559
<v Speaker 6>to make time for you, pops, for your own mental health.

400
00:20:34.720 --> 00:20:43.160
<v Speaker 3>Like but I was starting to get but it does

401
00:20:43.400 --> 00:20:43.680
<v Speaker 3>make me.

402
00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:45.599
<v Speaker 6>One of the things that I don't know if you

403
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:47.400
<v Speaker 6>guys are cool talking about this first, but one of

404
00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:49.720
<v Speaker 6>the articles that I found is they talked about humor

405
00:20:49.880 --> 00:20:53.160
<v Speaker 6>and parenting being like a very valuable tool and being

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00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:56.319
<v Speaker 6>a former comedian everybody that I've ever talked to, because

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<v Speaker 6>all of my stand up was about being a husband

408
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<v Speaker 6>and a.

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00:20:58.279 --> 00:21:02.920
<v Speaker 3>Father once a comedian always, I don't know about that.

410
00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:05.119
<v Speaker 3>It's like marine. Sure. Here's the thing.

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00:21:05.279 --> 00:21:07.119
<v Speaker 6>I think part of the reason I was very open

412
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<v Speaker 6>about to my kids that I wanted to be a

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<v Speaker 6>stand up comic ever since I was in first grade.

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00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:13.960
<v Speaker 6>It was my dream and I love the job. But

415
00:21:14.079 --> 00:21:15.680
<v Speaker 6>I told them, I said, I don't want you to

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<v Speaker 6>ever feel bad about this. Because they asked me why

417
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<v Speaker 6>I quit, I said, I quit because I didn't like

418
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<v Speaker 6>being away from you guys and your mom like it.

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<v Speaker 6>Just for me, it was not a lifestyle for me.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm not judging any comic or anybody who travels for

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<v Speaker 6>a living saying they don't love their family.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just saying that I am so.

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<v Speaker 6>Codd bad my family that I can't be away from

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00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:35.759
<v Speaker 6>them for extended periods of time. But people had always

425
00:21:35.799 --> 00:21:37.359
<v Speaker 6>asked me they would, and I think that's part of

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<v Speaker 6>the reason why my kids know that I need to

427
00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:41.119
<v Speaker 6>be I need to be around for me.

428
00:21:41.559 --> 00:21:42.720
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if they like it yet.

429
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:44.720
<v Speaker 6>Well, you don't find out anything I think about your

430
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:46.920
<v Speaker 6>kids until they're in they're like early to mid thirties.

431
00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:49.279
<v Speaker 6>That's where I feel like you really understand what happened.

432
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:53.160
<v Speaker 1>So humor, how so in terms of what you're parenting.

433
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:55.079
<v Speaker 1>Obviously not making fun of them.

434
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:55.880
<v Speaker 5>No, I do that.

435
00:21:56.039 --> 00:21:56.720
<v Speaker 3>I do that a lot.

436
00:21:56.880 --> 00:21:57.079
<v Speaker 2>I do.

437
00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:00.319
<v Speaker 6>I think it's what I've tried to learn, is that

438
00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.559
<v Speaker 6>for me humor with my kids. What the survey found

439
00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:07.680
<v Speaker 6>was that kids reacted better when their parents used humor

440
00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:10.960
<v Speaker 6>as a tool, and they actually extrapolated this and compared

441
00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:13.839
<v Speaker 6>it to even business relationships too. That when there's humor

442
00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:16.880
<v Speaker 6>in the workplace, people feel more productive, they feel more comfortable,

443
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:19.400
<v Speaker 6>morale is just generally better, and the same thing goes

444
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:19.960
<v Speaker 6>for the family.

445
00:22:20.119 --> 00:22:21.599
<v Speaker 3>Is essentially what the survey found.

446
00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:25.200
<v Speaker 6>But what I realized is that whenever I got made

447
00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:27.319
<v Speaker 6>fun of by my wife or my kids, I would

448
00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:30.720
<v Speaker 6>play the comedic role of like, hey, like pretend to

449
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:33.839
<v Speaker 6>be angry about it. And then I started noticing that

450
00:22:33.960 --> 00:22:36.119
<v Speaker 6>my kids were growing up and they were being very

451
00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:37.960
<v Speaker 6>They could dish it out, but they can never take it.

452
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:41.039
<v Speaker 6>And I started to realize, probably within the last three years,

453
00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:42.599
<v Speaker 6>to be honest with you, that I'm like, oh, I'm

454
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:45.640
<v Speaker 6>not modeling good behavior of having a good sense of

455
00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:47.960
<v Speaker 6>humor because I don't think they're understanding that I'm totally

456
00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:50.079
<v Speaker 6>fine being made fun of. And so in the last

457
00:22:50.200 --> 00:22:52.680
<v Speaker 6>year three years, I've transitioned where anytime they make fun

458
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:53.440
<v Speaker 6>of me, I just laugh.

459
00:22:53.640 --> 00:22:55.200
<v Speaker 3>I laugh at it, and I'm like, that's a good one.

460
00:22:55.279 --> 00:22:58.160
<v Speaker 6>You got me, And it's lightened up the entire mood

461
00:22:58.319 --> 00:23:01.039
<v Speaker 6>in my family, Like everything is just so much lighter.

462
00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:02.759
<v Speaker 6>There's a lot, there's some more, but.

463
00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:06.319
<v Speaker 3>It's weirdly enough. Yeah, yeah, everybody.

464
00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:09.319
<v Speaker 6>My younger son was probably the most sensitive, and I

465
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:11.119
<v Speaker 6>don't know if it's just a coincidence of age. Like

466
00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:13.440
<v Speaker 6>middle school so far, as a parent, that's not my

467
00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:15.839
<v Speaker 6>favorite time period. Middle school so far is the worst.

468
00:23:15.880 --> 00:23:18.319
<v Speaker 6>I would much rather have a sixteen year old who

469
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:20.279
<v Speaker 6>which seems to be the one the time period that

470
00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:23.240
<v Speaker 6>people most are like, ugh, like, I don't like the

471
00:23:23.319 --> 00:23:25.759
<v Speaker 6>high school age kids, but so far high school age

472
00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:27.160
<v Speaker 6>is much better than middle school.

473
00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:27.440
<v Speaker 3>Really.

474
00:23:27.559 --> 00:23:28.960
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, that's the biggest difference.

475
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:31.960
<v Speaker 6>It's the they feel in middle schools when all of

476
00:23:32.039 --> 00:23:34.880
<v Speaker 6>the puberty starts and I just have sons I and

477
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.240
<v Speaker 6>I don't know. I've heard that girls they developed through

478
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:40.759
<v Speaker 6>it much faster, but they also are like emotional ninjas.

479
00:23:40.839 --> 00:23:42.880
<v Speaker 6>From what the fathers I've talked to, they you have

480
00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:44.759
<v Speaker 6>to have a black belt in psychology.

481
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:46.640
<v Speaker 4>Not much changes get older.

482
00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:50.000
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, you're always three steps ahead of my cell because

483
00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:51.000
<v Speaker 6>the chick food.

484
00:23:52.279 --> 00:23:54.960
<v Speaker 3>When Michelle pointed that out to me, definitely frightened me

485
00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:55.640
<v Speaker 3>for weeks.

486
00:23:55.799 --> 00:23:57.920
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, chick fu for anybody who has had heard this,

487
00:23:58.039 --> 00:23:59.720
<v Speaker 6>but I've only heard it from Michelle Cbe. But she

488
00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:01.440
<v Speaker 6>told me this a long time ago when we used

489
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:03.920
<v Speaker 6>to a podcast together where it's like a woman using

490
00:24:04.039 --> 00:24:07.000
<v Speaker 6>not necessarily just sexual feminine wiles, but just feminine wiles

491
00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:09.920
<v Speaker 6>in general to manipulate men. And I don't know why,

492
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:11.279
<v Speaker 6>but it just scared me because I'm like, oh, my

493
00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:12.920
<v Speaker 6>wife wouldn't do that. In my head, I was just

494
00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:14.599
<v Speaker 6>my wife wouldn't do that. I'm like, well, dummy, you

495
00:24:14.599 --> 00:24:16.839
<v Speaker 6>wouldn't know it was happening. By the very nature of

496
00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:19.079
<v Speaker 6>chick fu. You don't know you're being chick food. That

497
00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:21.680
<v Speaker 6>is the hair that is the hair piece rule. Yeah,

498
00:24:21.799 --> 00:24:22.279
<v Speaker 6>you'll go there.

499
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:25.880
<v Speaker 2>I only see bad hair pieces, I go, of course, Yeah,

500
00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:28.279
<v Speaker 2>the good ones you can't see. Notice, that's the whole

501
00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:32.400
<v Speaker 2>point is that, Yeah, if you've got somebody that tried

502
00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:35.880
<v Speaker 2>that can manipulate you properly, you know, Tim Kelly and

503
00:24:36.519 --> 00:24:39.240
<v Speaker 2>Tim's Mary Show to Michelle. We had a list of

504
00:24:39.519 --> 00:24:42.880
<v Speaker 2>four or five of those that were those different names

505
00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:43.720
<v Speaker 2>for being.

506
00:24:43.640 --> 00:24:45.400
<v Speaker 3>Manipulated by way. Oh okay, all right.

507
00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:47.480
<v Speaker 2>There was another version of chick food that I won't say,

508
00:24:47.519 --> 00:24:51.279
<v Speaker 2>but yeah, but there was. Yeah, there was a bunch

509
00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:54.680
<v Speaker 2>of them. And one day we were throwing them back

510
00:24:54.680 --> 00:24:57.960
<v Speaker 2>and forth about how, yeah there's some you know, I

511
00:24:58.279 --> 00:25:00.680
<v Speaker 2>have a straight shooter for a wife. She she's just

512
00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:03.079
<v Speaker 2>she'll say it boom and it's out of her mouth

513
00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:07.119
<v Speaker 2>and in your lap, and you're like, wow, thank you.

514
00:25:07.480 --> 00:25:12.559
<v Speaker 3>Yeah food chick foo, chickfoo. Yeah.

515
00:25:12.759 --> 00:25:14.759
<v Speaker 6>To go back to answer your question, Marla, that I

516
00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:18.519
<v Speaker 6>think it's the it's the initial. Like for my boys,

517
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.240
<v Speaker 6>each had their bit. My older son struggled with his

518
00:25:21.319 --> 00:25:24.680
<v Speaker 6>physical appearance. He gained weight before like hitting his gross spurt,

519
00:25:24.759 --> 00:25:26.359
<v Speaker 6>and he felt really bad, and I didn't know how

520
00:25:26.440 --> 00:25:28.559
<v Speaker 6>to help him. I just kept telling him, this isn't

521
00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:30.359
<v Speaker 6>a time in your life where should at all be

522
00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:31.519
<v Speaker 6>worried about this, you.

523
00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:31.920
<v Speaker 3>Know what I mean.

524
00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:33.680
<v Speaker 6>And he also loved food, and I didn't want to

525
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:36.119
<v Speaker 6>take that from him either, but he wasn't even eating unhealthy.

526
00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:38.680
<v Speaker 3>And then my younger son, he was a.

527
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:41.559
<v Speaker 6>Late bloomer for puberty and so he always he still

528
00:25:41.599 --> 00:25:43.400
<v Speaker 6>has that little boy kind of look, and so his

529
00:25:43.880 --> 00:25:46.119
<v Speaker 6>friends and other kids at school were constantly making fun

530
00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:48.079
<v Speaker 6>of him because he was short and he looks like

531
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:50.759
<v Speaker 6>a ten year old and that that's just hard because

532
00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:52.680
<v Speaker 6>maybe what I'm really trying to say is it just

533
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:54.880
<v Speaker 6>seems to be I can't help them navigate. But now

534
00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:56.880
<v Speaker 6>that my older son has kind of grown out of that,

535
00:25:57.200 --> 00:25:59.519
<v Speaker 6>he still has problems, but we can have a conversation

536
00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:01.079
<v Speaker 6>about this and it's productive.

537
00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:01.759
<v Speaker 3>That's key.

538
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:05.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, if you're talking that, then there's the barriers are

539
00:26:05.400 --> 00:26:08.000
<v Speaker 2>down as if it's talk and say hey, you know.

540
00:26:08.440 --> 00:26:10.359
<v Speaker 3>And that was I was afraid my younger son was

541
00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:12.160
<v Speaker 3>never going to talk to me. I was. He was

542
00:26:12.319 --> 00:26:13.319
<v Speaker 3>just always in his room.

543
00:26:13.640 --> 00:26:15.359
<v Speaker 6>I would try to pull him out with like things

544
00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:17.279
<v Speaker 6>that he and I could do together, things he loved,

545
00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:19.599
<v Speaker 6>like I got into basketball because he loves basketball, and

546
00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:21.200
<v Speaker 6>now I love basketball.

547
00:26:21.119 --> 00:26:22.480
<v Speaker 3>And I wanted him to be able to teach me

548
00:26:22.519 --> 00:26:22.960
<v Speaker 3>how to do it.

549
00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:25.119
<v Speaker 6>And I'm trying to finally say, but now, what I

550
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:28.079
<v Speaker 6>found is again through lightning up on my humor, taking

551
00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:30.880
<v Speaker 6>the joke. And then also I started being open and

552
00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:34.119
<v Speaker 6>honest with my kids, especially my younger son. Every once

553
00:26:34.119 --> 00:26:35.839
<v Speaker 6>in a while, he would just randomly give me a hug,

554
00:26:36.279 --> 00:26:37.839
<v Speaker 6>and so I would make a big because it was

555
00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:39.720
<v Speaker 6>a big deal. I didn't want to put pressure on him,

556
00:26:39.720 --> 00:26:41.200
<v Speaker 6>but I said, oh, And then I started if I

557
00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:43.359
<v Speaker 6>was having a rough day, I go into him and

558
00:26:43.400 --> 00:26:45.000
<v Speaker 6>I say, hey, can I just have a quick hug,

559
00:26:45.119 --> 00:26:47.480
<v Speaker 6>like it'll just help me. And it's hard because as

560
00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:49.599
<v Speaker 6>a dad, I don't want to make them feel like

561
00:26:49.720 --> 00:26:52.359
<v Speaker 6>they need to take care of me. But I learned

562
00:26:52.440 --> 00:26:54.880
<v Speaker 6>something through losing my dad about my brother and the

563
00:26:54.920 --> 00:26:57.119
<v Speaker 6>fight that we've had since then, is that my brother

564
00:26:57.279 --> 00:27:00.720
<v Speaker 6>really struggles with showing weakness as a man. He feels

565
00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:03.519
<v Speaker 6>like and if anybody has experienced this with their father,

566
00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:05.240
<v Speaker 6>my dad did a little bit of it with me,

567
00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:07.960
<v Speaker 6>is that you feel like if you show any kind

568
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:10.920
<v Speaker 6>of weakness that somehow you're in your you're not holding

569
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:14.160
<v Speaker 6>your child, especially your son, to their potential, like you're

570
00:27:14.200 --> 00:27:17.839
<v Speaker 6>giving them an out. And I started to realize through

571
00:27:17.880 --> 00:27:20.160
<v Speaker 6>this conversation I weirdly enough had with my nephew, my

572
00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:23.119
<v Speaker 6>brother's kid, that I I don't want to do that,

573
00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:25.279
<v Speaker 6>And thankfully I kind of stumbled into that. I've always

574
00:27:25.319 --> 00:27:27.960
<v Speaker 6>been transparent with my kids about my failures because I

575
00:27:28.039 --> 00:27:30.799
<v Speaker 6>always thought my dad had it all together, he always

576
00:27:30.839 --> 00:27:33.119
<v Speaker 6>had it all figured out, and then he passed away,

577
00:27:33.160 --> 00:27:34.720
<v Speaker 6>and then I had to go through his finances and

578
00:27:34.759 --> 00:27:38.880
<v Speaker 6>I'm like, you had zero business criticizing me about any financial.

579
00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:41.480
<v Speaker 3>Position I ever made. By the way, Pop's mocking your

580
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:53.039
<v Speaker 3>dead father was part of your right what ge his

581
00:27:53.160 --> 00:27:57.880
<v Speaker 3>ashes back and I'm dumping on it more parente with

582
00:27:58.400 --> 00:28:01.519
<v Speaker 3>Justine worship them back yeah.

583
00:28:02.240 --> 00:28:07.880
<v Speaker 2>Laughter is Neil Sedra and Marlote's Fox Eleven's Mark Fox.

584
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:09.319
<v Speaker 3>Element love to do that, don't you.

585
00:28:09.559 --> 00:28:09.880
<v Speaker 7>I don't know.

586
00:28:10.119 --> 00:28:12.920
<v Speaker 3>Just it gives ownership and you'll see no one owns me.

587
00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:17.759
<v Speaker 7>I don't know if I'm okay to laugh at that.

588
00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:24.279
<v Speaker 7>I had a reaction to laugh and immediately got afraid.

589
00:28:24.559 --> 00:28:27.799
<v Speaker 7>I was like, well, I laughed in appropriately.

590
00:28:28.119 --> 00:28:30.799
<v Speaker 4>No, that was not inappropriate. That was supposed to be funny.

591
00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:31.480
<v Speaker 3>That's good.

592
00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:35.279
<v Speaker 2>I had visions of the movie Elf where you're coming

593
00:28:35.319 --> 00:28:37.200
<v Speaker 2>on the little fellow gets on the table and starts

594
00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:37.640
<v Speaker 2>running it.

595
00:28:38.759 --> 00:28:40.880
<v Speaker 4>You're not the only funny one around here, Warshaw.

596
00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:46.279
<v Speaker 3>Can I laugh at that?

597
00:28:46.359 --> 00:28:46.559
<v Speaker 8>To ma?

598
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:49.359
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh.

599
00:28:49.400 --> 00:28:52.519
<v Speaker 2>Can you put that on your website or something as

600
00:28:52.559 --> 00:28:58.680
<v Speaker 2>a quote from a you know, Fox eleven, Fox eleven,

601
00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:04.599
<v Speaker 2>justin Worsham is here to talk parenting, which which is

602
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:07.240
<v Speaker 2>part you know, fifty percent laughing, fifty percent crying.

603
00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:12.039
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Yeah, it's a very isn't it funny?

604
00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:14.640
<v Speaker 6>That like, especially when they're younger, there's so like the

605
00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:17.680
<v Speaker 6>moments that make it all worthwhile seem so fleeting, And

606
00:29:17.799 --> 00:29:19.400
<v Speaker 6>then you get to this, like I was saying, you

607
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:22.039
<v Speaker 6>get to this middle school age where it's my experience

608
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:24.440
<v Speaker 6>was very challenging, and then you get to this teenage

609
00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:27.799
<v Speaker 6>age where it's significantly.

610
00:29:27.079 --> 00:29:28.559
<v Speaker 3>Less frustrating and exhausting.

611
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:32.599
<v Speaker 6>But it's just weird to just have people who are

612
00:29:32.839 --> 00:29:36.720
<v Speaker 6>solely responsible, Like they get everything that they need from you, right,

613
00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:38.079
<v Speaker 6>they'd get clothing.

614
00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:40.960
<v Speaker 3>Food, and shelter from you, but they are wildly disrespectful.

615
00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:46.599
<v Speaker 3>They don't appreciate any of its. Well.

616
00:29:46.759 --> 00:29:49.160
<v Speaker 1>On on Monday, we were talking about the fact that

617
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:52.079
<v Speaker 1>parenting is bad for your health that the Surgeon General

618
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:55.119
<v Speaker 1>came out and said that it's a health which I

619
00:29:55.200 --> 00:29:55.640
<v Speaker 1>don't like.

620
00:29:55.799 --> 00:29:59.480
<v Speaker 3>Again, I think this is a bureaconor like he's it's.

621
00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:01.359
<v Speaker 6>I'm sure there's data to support it, but I think

622
00:30:01.480 --> 00:30:03.119
<v Speaker 6>I think really what he's trying to do is hold

623
00:30:03.160 --> 00:30:06.680
<v Speaker 6>up a mirror to society and say, hey, guys, as adults,

624
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:11.079
<v Speaker 6>we're experiencing significant levels of stress when parenting, Like maybe

625
00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:13.319
<v Speaker 6>we want to This is my take on that, maybe

626
00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:16.079
<v Speaker 6>we want to reevaluate that maybe we should not be

627
00:30:16.200 --> 00:30:18.640
<v Speaker 6>so sensitive to trying to be I think it has to.

628
00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:20.960
<v Speaker 8>Come Yes, the perfect parent, that's what it has to

629
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:24.599
<v Speaker 8>come from. Like it's you're not going to be give

630
00:30:24.680 --> 00:30:27.799
<v Speaker 8>that dream up we're going to mess them up that

631
00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:31.559
<v Speaker 8>you do. At best, they are This is something I

632
00:30:31.680 --> 00:30:36.799
<v Speaker 8>learned immediately. Holy crud. He's his own person. With my son,

633
00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:39.839
<v Speaker 8>he's his own person the minute he popped out. Yeah,

634
00:30:40.440 --> 00:30:43.480
<v Speaker 8>and and I don't know if this is because we're

635
00:30:43.480 --> 00:30:47.480
<v Speaker 8>an adoptive family and you don't put so much on

636
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:49.319
<v Speaker 8>Oh they look like you, they look like me, they

637
00:30:49.359 --> 00:30:51.799
<v Speaker 8>look like you know, like they're automatically part of you,

638
00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:55.039
<v Speaker 8>and ownership is there. It's like, Okay, how are we

639
00:30:55.119 --> 00:30:59.000
<v Speaker 8>going to raise this human that at best you're a

640
00:30:59.160 --> 00:31:02.119
<v Speaker 8>rudder to their engine. At best you help kind of

641
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:05.319
<v Speaker 8>move them. But they are their own motor and they're

642
00:31:05.400 --> 00:31:08.960
<v Speaker 8>going where they're going. And you're saying, you know you.

643
00:31:09.519 --> 00:31:13.119
<v Speaker 2>I've told my son many times when he was really

644
00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:15.440
<v Speaker 2>small and he wanted to jump from something. I said,

645
00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:18.599
<v Speaker 2>I want you to want to jump from there, but

646
00:31:18.759 --> 00:31:21.039
<v Speaker 2>I can't let you. Yeah, I want you to be curious,

647
00:31:21.119 --> 00:31:22.640
<v Speaker 2>I want you to climb. I want you to do

648
00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:27.720
<v Speaker 2>those things. But I know the math of that jump

649
00:31:28.200 --> 00:31:31.519
<v Speaker 2>and it's going to end poorly. So I have to

650
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:34.880
<v Speaker 2>say no. But there will be a day where I

651
00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:37.319
<v Speaker 2>will say yes. So let's keep let's go find something

652
00:31:37.359 --> 00:31:38.119
<v Speaker 2>you can jump.

653
00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:39.640
<v Speaker 3>From right now the room.

654
00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:44.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this new psychology and is looking at the well

655
00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:48.279
<v Speaker 2>being that your well being is really about feeling valued.

656
00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:51.920
<v Speaker 2>And how is that different from being a human work

657
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:53.799
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship of any kind. Don't you just want

658
00:31:53.839 --> 00:31:54.400
<v Speaker 2>to be valued?

659
00:31:54.480 --> 00:31:57.759
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, they're saying that parents, that just as we talk

660
00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:01.880
<v Speaker 6>a lot about gratitude between right, but what we don't

661
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:04.799
<v Speaker 6>really talk a lot is about gratitude from child to parent.

662
00:32:05.319 --> 00:32:08.079
<v Speaker 6>And what they've found in this recent survey, but they

663
00:32:08.279 --> 00:32:10.200
<v Speaker 6>the one thing that they pointed out that they want

664
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:12.880
<v Speaker 6>to do future research into is that this is only

665
00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:17.000
<v Speaker 6>about the perception about of gratitude, not how gratitude is given.

666
00:32:17.079 --> 00:32:19.599
<v Speaker 6>So it's really if I, as a father, do I

667
00:32:19.799 --> 00:32:21.839
<v Speaker 6>feel gratitude from my kid, and then how does that

668
00:32:21.920 --> 00:32:23.559
<v Speaker 6>correlate to my happiness in general?

669
00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:27.319
<v Speaker 3>So if your kids show you appreciation.

670
00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:30.039
<v Speaker 4>And gratitude, like the random hug that you would say, the.

671
00:32:30.079 --> 00:32:32.119
<v Speaker 6>Random hugs that I get from my dad, what are

672
00:32:32.200 --> 00:32:34.519
<v Speaker 6>for my son? But what I also what made me

673
00:32:34.599 --> 00:32:36.200
<v Speaker 6>think of is that was it until I hit my

674
00:32:36.279 --> 00:32:39.440
<v Speaker 6>mid twenties that I started realizing all of the things

675
00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:41.640
<v Speaker 6>that I thought my dad was being an apple about

676
00:32:41.720 --> 00:32:44.240
<v Speaker 6>when I was younger, was actually for my own good.

677
00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:46.759
<v Speaker 6>And I just started sending both my parents like random

678
00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:49.519
<v Speaker 6>text messages or I would call them and say, I

679
00:32:49.720 --> 00:32:51.960
<v Speaker 6>just want to thank you because now I get it,

680
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:53.279
<v Speaker 6>like now I understand it.

681
00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:54.160
<v Speaker 3>And they're in this.

682
00:32:54.319 --> 00:32:57.480
<v Speaker 6>Article they talked about there's adult children when you get

683
00:32:57.559 --> 00:32:59.839
<v Speaker 6>those messages. So if you appreciate your parents and you

684
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:02.960
<v Speaker 6>listening to this, please go like send them thank yous.

685
00:33:03.079 --> 00:33:05.559
<v Speaker 6>It means the world to them. And then and you

686
00:33:05.640 --> 00:33:07.880
<v Speaker 6>can ask for your kids. That's what I'm trying to do.

687
00:33:08.039 --> 00:33:09.640
<v Speaker 6>That's why I tell my kid like I could use

688
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:12.960
<v Speaker 6>a hug. And what I've noticed is my teenager who's thirteen,

689
00:33:13.079 --> 00:33:16.920
<v Speaker 6>who was very aloof now constantly hanging on me what's

690
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:19.039
<v Speaker 6>to come and hug me. And I appreciate it, like

691
00:33:19.160 --> 00:33:21.559
<v Speaker 6>I enjoy it all the time. So I just had

692
00:33:21.599 --> 00:33:23.839
<v Speaker 6>to make a conscious effort to validate that. And it

693
00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:26.279
<v Speaker 6>seems like he also enjoys it. He likes the idea

694
00:33:26.359 --> 00:33:27.920
<v Speaker 6>that he's always since he was a little kid. He

695
00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:30.240
<v Speaker 6>loves to help people, right, that's a thing that so

696
00:33:30.440 --> 00:33:32.119
<v Speaker 6>if he thinks that he's helping me by giving me

697
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:34.920
<v Speaker 6>a hug or talking to me about stuff, then everybody

698
00:33:35.039 --> 00:33:38.240
<v Speaker 6>wins to go back to your point about you just

699
00:33:38.319 --> 00:33:40.640
<v Speaker 6>have to like, there's a great speech. I'm blanking on

700
00:33:40.680 --> 00:33:42.880
<v Speaker 6>the guy's name, but if you just google Shepherd, not

701
00:33:43.039 --> 00:33:46.079
<v Speaker 6>an engineer. It's an article a speech I found when

702
00:33:46.119 --> 00:33:48.279
<v Speaker 6>I was doing a segment for this show, and it

703
00:33:48.400 --> 00:33:50.960
<v Speaker 6>blew my mind as a parent, But because it talks

704
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:53.519
<v Speaker 6>about how there's like four hundred psychological traits your kids

705
00:33:53.519 --> 00:33:56.680
<v Speaker 6>are born with that you can't change. And I'm wondering

706
00:33:56.720 --> 00:33:59.759
<v Speaker 6>as an adopted parent, and that's just the first personnel.

707
00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:03.400
<v Speaker 4>Doctor Russell Barkley.

708
00:34:03.160 --> 00:34:08.360
<v Speaker 3>Look at that. I love it, Go Go Go.

709
00:34:10.320 --> 00:34:14.079
<v Speaker 6>So anyway is I wonder if just inherently without you

710
00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:17.079
<v Speaker 6>even thinking about it, right, like you're just more accepting

711
00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:20.239
<v Speaker 6>of who this kid is. Because sometimes I look at

712
00:34:20.280 --> 00:34:22.840
<v Speaker 6>my kid's traits and I if I look at it

713
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:25.000
<v Speaker 6>and I worry about it for them, Like my older

714
00:34:25.079 --> 00:34:27.440
<v Speaker 6>son has always had this concern about being perfect, and

715
00:34:27.519 --> 00:34:29.880
<v Speaker 6>I feel like I gave that to him and so

716
00:34:30.199 --> 00:34:32.519
<v Speaker 6>putting that barrier of like now I feel ashamed of

717
00:34:32.599 --> 00:34:35.760
<v Speaker 6>it because it's a behavior I have, and I feel

718
00:34:35.800 --> 00:34:38.199
<v Speaker 6>guilt because I've given it to him through no choosing

719
00:34:38.280 --> 00:34:40.239
<v Speaker 6>of his own. There's nothing he can do about that.

720
00:34:40.840 --> 00:34:43.840
<v Speaker 6>I wonder if if he was my adopted son, if

721
00:34:43.880 --> 00:34:46.239
<v Speaker 6>it would make me more open minded, Like I could

722
00:34:46.280 --> 00:34:48.320
<v Speaker 6>get rid of that guilt and shame and I could

723
00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:50.920
<v Speaker 6>just accept him as a person and treat him that way.

724
00:34:51.079 --> 00:34:52.159
<v Speaker 3>You know, that's part of the freedom.

725
00:34:52.199 --> 00:34:54.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about it, Like you see them as an

726
00:34:55.039 --> 00:34:58.239
<v Speaker 2>individual and not your byproduct, right, And so it's different.

727
00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:02.239
<v Speaker 2>You really are going, hey, we're all partnership here. But

728
00:35:02.400 --> 00:35:06.719
<v Speaker 2>you you know, and I explain to people often every

729
00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:13.679
<v Speaker 2>single relationship, every family starts with adoption because unless you're

730
00:35:13.679 --> 00:35:17.159
<v Speaker 2>in Alabama and you're marrying your sister, but every marriage

731
00:35:17.239 --> 00:35:20.079
<v Speaker 2>is two people adopting, the judge coming into it and

732
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:22.159
<v Speaker 2>saying we're gonna blend and we're gonna find a way

733
00:35:22.199 --> 00:35:25.159
<v Speaker 2>to do this. So when you start learning those things,

734
00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:30.840
<v Speaker 2>it's a powerful teaching tool. And also, you know, I'm

735
00:35:30.840 --> 00:35:33.119
<v Speaker 2>an older parent, so I'm not I'm not in my

736
00:35:33.239 --> 00:35:36.880
<v Speaker 2>twenties battling with my own garbage and my own selfishness

737
00:35:37.159 --> 00:35:41.800
<v Speaker 2>and wants and desires against a child. You're gonna get different,

738
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:44.519
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna get different flavors. All have good ones and

739
00:35:44.639 --> 00:35:46.639
<v Speaker 2>bad ones. But I would have had good ones and

740
00:35:46.679 --> 00:35:49.400
<v Speaker 2>bad ones that were different when I was younger, and

741
00:35:50.119 --> 00:35:53.000
<v Speaker 2>it's a fascinating trip. And part of me is part

742
00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:57.280
<v Speaker 2>scientists and the other part is punt. You know, crash

743
00:35:57.360 --> 00:35:58.119
<v Speaker 2>test number.

744
00:35:59.480 --> 00:36:02.079
<v Speaker 3>Puts you back, also works. I was like, you see,

745
00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:03.599
<v Speaker 3>like part of me is the guy in the lab.

746
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:05.599
<v Speaker 2>That part of me is the guy in the lab

747
00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:07.239
<v Speaker 2>putting the crash tap test dummy.

748
00:36:07.320 --> 00:36:09.039
<v Speaker 6>That is also you're building the car and then you're

749
00:36:09.079 --> 00:36:12.920
<v Speaker 6>climbing in at yourself. O K, where's the cog freak pillars.

750
00:36:13.079 --> 00:36:15.039
<v Speaker 6>Let's drive this thing into it. So the point is

751
00:36:15.159 --> 00:36:17.559
<v Speaker 6>laugh with your kids and tell everybody thank you. That's

752
00:36:17.599 --> 00:36:18.400
<v Speaker 6>the big takeaway.

753
00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:21.840
<v Speaker 3>You've been listening to the Gary and Shannon Show.

754
00:36:21.960 --> 00:36:24.320
<v Speaker 6>You can always hear us live on KFI AM six

755
00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:27.480
<v Speaker 6>forty nine am to one pm every Monday through Friday,

756
00:36:27.679 --> 00:36:30.360
<v Speaker 6>and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio Lap