WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.520 --> 00:00:05.360 Fame. He'd liked to be walked on a leash and 2 00:00:05.400 --> 00:00:09.439 play really dirty, kinky sex games. Is the guy put 3 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:13.480 the cock in the Peacock Network. Okay, bitch, hey, everybody, 4 00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:16.719 aj Benzi here with fame as a bitch. This is 5 00:00:16.760 --> 00:00:21.800 your free show. I'm actually recording his show on Friday 6 00:00:23.399 --> 00:00:29.120 afternoon because it's now September thirteenth, where two days passed, 7 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:33.119 that awful day of remembrance from nine to eleven, and 8 00:00:33.159 --> 00:00:37.240 I was really searching for something I wrote for a 9 00:00:37.320 --> 00:00:42.039 magazine named Razor Magazine back in two thousand and two, 10 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:45.719 which was about me and my buddy Neil Gumpel driving 11 00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:51.000 cross country an hour or two after we watched the 12 00:00:51.079 --> 00:00:54.439 towers come down, and we jumped in his rental car 13 00:00:54.560 --> 00:00:57.679 and drove to New York. For the next three and 14 00:00:57.679 --> 00:00:59.759 a half days, there were no rental cars to get. 15 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:02.600 Everybody already rented them. There was nothing to do. Thank 16 00:01:02.600 --> 00:01:04.799 god he had one. My car was vintage. It could 17 00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:06.879 not have it couldn't have made the ride all the 18 00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:08.719 way to New York. And I had a nineteen sixty 19 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:12.799 fourth Fleetwood Cadillac. I would never drive that across country. 20 00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:16.359 But Neil had this small car so it's him, him 21 00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:18.799 and me, him and I, I should say, and my 22 00:01:18.879 --> 00:01:23.400 little dog cesaree my Yorkie. It was like a son 23 00:01:23.439 --> 00:01:27.760 to me. And we taped God Bless America on a 24 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:31.760 back windshield and we set out to drive, not before 25 00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:37.920 we bought enough liquor and cocaine and some fun pain 26 00:01:38.040 --> 00:01:42.519 pills and muscle relaxes to fuel us to drive across 27 00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:47.680 country and also to even understand the extent to which 28 00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:52.400 we were all facing, possibly World War three, the end 29 00:01:52.439 --> 00:01:55.400 of New York, the end of America. Who the hell knew? 30 00:01:56.840 --> 00:01:59.159 But I want to read the audicle, I wrote back, 31 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:01.640 and I think it was November or December of twenty 32 00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:05.640 twenty two, because I'd written for Razor before I wrote 33 00:02:05.799 --> 00:02:07.719 how It's During an article, and a couple of others, 34 00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:11.800 I believe. But that was when freelance magazine writing was great. 35 00:02:11.879 --> 00:02:15.439 I was making a lot of money writing for Playboy, Razor, Penthouse, 36 00:02:16.879 --> 00:02:19.199 other magazines, Maxim. I wrote for a lot of them, 37 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:21.560 and that was in the day when a guy like 38 00:02:21.639 --> 00:02:24.240 me was getting two or three dollars a word per article. 39 00:02:25.039 --> 00:02:27.960 Write a four thousand word article, do the myth. It 40 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:30.639 was good money and I had all those guys on 41 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:34.560 speed dial. They all knew me, and whenever I called 42 00:02:34.560 --> 00:02:37.719 and gave an idea, typically they jumped for it. Sometimes 43 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:40.400 they called me and today you got anything. We're a 44 00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:43.000 little light for our July issue. What do you got? 45 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:46.599 I'd sit down and go, yeah, I got something, and 46 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:49.319 I always did, and that's what an editor likes from 47 00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:51.960 a writer. So look, I'm gonna read this to you. 48 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:56.599 If you could put yourself back to that day. And 49 00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:58.319 I know we just did this a couple of days ago, 50 00:02:58.439 --> 00:03:00.199 so it might not be so easier. Maybe it's going 51 00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:03.039 to be more painful. But I don't want to wait 52 00:03:03.080 --> 00:03:05.439 another year to do this. I want to do it 53 00:03:05.479 --> 00:03:08.080 now because God knows, with all the shit that's going 54 00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:10.960 on right now in this world and even the possibility 55 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:12.800 of World War three and not knowing how our next 56 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:17.919 president will be and how will fare, I'm gonna read 57 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:23.000 this to you now. Let me know if you like it. 58 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:27.000 It was somewhere on the edge of Zion National Park, 59 00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:30.439 with four hundred miles of Utah ahead of us, when 60 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:34.479 the percocets finally kicked in. It was only twenty hours 61 00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:37.560 earlier when my bedroom door was kicked open by my 62 00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:41.159 screenwriting partner Neil Gumpel. He had just driven all night, 63 00:03:41.199 --> 00:03:43.919 as he usually did from his home in Oakland, California. 64 00:03:45.400 --> 00:03:48.080 He walked into my unlocked house, turned on the TV 65 00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:50.479 when he arrived, and saw the surreal footage of the 66 00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:55.879 first twin towers blown to pieces. Jesus fucked. I heard 67 00:03:55.879 --> 00:03:58.759 Neil scream as he came into my bedroom and told 68 00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:01.840 me what was going on. It wasn't even ten minutes 69 00:04:01.879 --> 00:04:06.080 since the first coward flew the hijacked jet into taro Ian, 70 00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:09.120 and my cell phone's mailbox was already at its capacity. 71 00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:12.759 I wiped asleep from my eyes, kissed my girlfriend awake, 72 00:04:12.800 --> 00:04:17.040 and punched my messages on. Neil and my girlfriend Bessie 73 00:04:17.160 --> 00:04:19.879 did the same thing, and there we were in the 74 00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:23.160 pitiful position too many of us transplanted New Yorkers found 75 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:26.079 ourselves in that day. We all sat in the bed 76 00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:29.759 and listened to the terror filled and trembling voices of 77 00:04:29.800 --> 00:04:32.160 our friends and family back home in New York City 78 00:04:32.240 --> 00:04:39.319 or Boston. Fans were literally running from the smoke and horror. 79 00:04:40.519 --> 00:04:43.240 A next girlfriend calledby, screaming as she ran to a 80 00:04:43.279 --> 00:04:46.959 West Village elementary school to pick up her seven year 81 00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:50.480 old son, the same kid I held to my chest 82 00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:54.079 at night through his terrible twos and watched Jurassic Park 83 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:58.480 some four hundred times. There was even a quivering message 84 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:02.600 from my ex wife and childhood sweetheart, wondering aloud if 85 00:05:02.600 --> 00:05:04.600 I was in the city that day, before telling me 86 00:05:04.680 --> 00:05:07.480 she loved me, as she signed off with a heavy sigh. 87 00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:11.720 I finally lost it when my friend Jamie called from 88 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:15.920 Virginia and cried that she hadn't heard from her husband 89 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:21.160 John that day. And that's not like our boy John. 90 00:05:21.240 --> 00:05:24.160 John's a pilot for American Airlines. That's all he ever 91 00:05:24.199 --> 00:05:27.199 wanted to be. He'd been saying it since he was fifteen, 92 00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:30.639 when we had to stand on tippy toes to spy 93 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:34.920 on Jamie through the high gymnasium windows, and she would 94 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:38.879 flirt with him during her balance beam routine while Fleetwood 95 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:45.000 Mac sang dreams, and suddenly Stevie Nick's lyrics rang hauntingly 96 00:05:45.079 --> 00:05:48.800 true to me. In the stillness of remembering what you 97 00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:54.680 had and what you lost and what you lost, it 98 00:05:54.720 --> 00:05:58.240 was the most pivotal, painful moment of truth in our lives, 99 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:03.000 none of us knowing what would fail next or fall next. 100 00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:06.680 How many more would die, how many more breaths each 101 00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:10.120 of us had left? And really I just sat there 102 00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:14.079 remembering what we all had, and at the same time 103 00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:19.720 I couldn' yet understand what we'd lost. Meanwhile, Neil couldn't 104 00:06:19.720 --> 00:06:23.040 get through to any of his three daughters in New York. Emily, 105 00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:25.720 his middle is a New York college student, and Neil 106 00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:28.199 was convinced he wanted her to quit college for a year, 107 00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:31.680 anything than risk her life by walking the war torn 108 00:06:31.759 --> 00:06:36.439 city streets another day. Now you have to understand my 109 00:06:36.600 --> 00:06:39.480 pal Neil. He already lives with the anger of a 110 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:43.000 bit of divorce and a great writing ability that brought 111 00:06:43.040 --> 00:06:47.279 him to a town called Hollywood filled with bullshitters and backstabbers. 112 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:50.399 All Neil ever wanted to do was make a pile 113 00:06:50.399 --> 00:06:52.560 of fuck you money and head back East to spoil 114 00:06:52.600 --> 00:06:56.480 us little girls rotten to think of it, all I 115 00:06:56.480 --> 00:06:58.240 ever wanted to do was stay in New York City 116 00:06:58.279 --> 00:07:00.279 and be a calumnist for the New York Daily News. 117 00:07:01.560 --> 00:07:05.759 But the earth spins, shit happens, and wham, I'll become 118 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:10.399 a TV star. But truthfully, I've never enjoyed anything more 119 00:07:10.439 --> 00:07:13.360 in my career than watching someone on the subway open 120 00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:16.759 up my column and smile because I was a voice 121 00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:21.399 in New York, had a loft in Greenwich Village and 122 00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:24.600 a view of the towers from my living room. Now 123 00:07:24.879 --> 00:07:29.279 I was just another talking head in Los Angeles without 124 00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:31.600 knowing each other. At the time, Neil was working at 125 00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:33.959 a fish markt and did some bookmaking on the side 126 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:38.399 to make ends meet. Our backgrounds don't matter, but Neil's 127 00:07:38.399 --> 00:07:41.000 in my life because he's a survivor with the same 128 00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:44.160 gypsy heart that beats in me, and he's from pain, 129 00:07:44.959 --> 00:07:47.680 and now he finally had a huge ache in common. 130 00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:52.480 So here we were watching New York City die, crying 131 00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:57.079 from our ringside seats to what was essentially a castration 132 00:07:57.639 --> 00:08:01.920 of the toughest city in the world. Neil and I 133 00:08:01.959 --> 00:08:05.959 didn't go to Columbia journalism school. We are fighters who 134 00:08:06.040 --> 00:08:10.560 can write equally dangerous with both pen and sword. And 135 00:08:10.639 --> 00:08:12.879 now there was no one to throw a punch at 136 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:17.480 an invisible enemy amongst us in three thousand miles, separating 137 00:08:17.519 --> 00:08:20.839 us from getting home again to the fight, to the 138 00:08:20.879 --> 00:08:25.759 fear to family. What followed over the next several hours 139 00:08:25.879 --> 00:08:29.040 was something out of taxi driver. I made the appropriate 140 00:08:29.120 --> 00:08:32.480 calls to my agent, manager and network, and through cry 141 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.840 baby tears, I wailed that I was getting in a 142 00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:38.000 car and getting the fuck out of here. I said, 143 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.679 I don't want to hear about work. The hell with TV. 144 00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:45.080 I'm gone. I'm done. I'll call you when I get back. Inexplictedly. 145 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:48.080 Neil and I shaved our heads, bold hopped in this 146 00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:52.039 midsize rental car, taped God Bless America across the back window, 147 00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:56.759 and headed for the road. The highways that split our 148 00:08:56.799 --> 00:08:59.159 country straight down the middle of filled with towns of 149 00:08:59.240 --> 00:09:04.120 families who were sons that go off to war and die. 150 00:09:04.360 --> 00:09:07.200 The way we saw it, there was no better, more 151 00:09:07.320 --> 00:09:11.679 sentimental way to see the heartland. At the last second, 152 00:09:11.720 --> 00:09:14.679 I scooped up my little Yorkie, Cessaret, and brought him 153 00:09:14.720 --> 00:09:18.639 along for the ride. I knew that would make the 154 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:21.159 ride a bit longer, with his peepee stops and feeding 155 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:24.200 the little guy, but I needed everything and everyone I 156 00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:28.200 loved around me. I never saw myself so goddamn soft. 157 00:09:29.279 --> 00:09:32.200 We hired, tailed out of California through the kitschy neon 158 00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:36.480 lights of Nevada and rolled into Utah. Spent and still 159 00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:40.080 spinning from the initial shock of the previous day's news. 160 00:09:41.159 --> 00:09:43.799 We just driven seven hundred miles and were ready to 161 00:09:43.919 --> 00:09:47.600 dive into the gin olives and vermouth. That Neil insisted, 162 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:50.080 We're going to be necessary as the gas and the 163 00:09:50.120 --> 00:09:54.320 fuel tank, and he was never more right. Let me 164 00:09:54.320 --> 00:09:57.000 put it to you this way, when the Pentagon is 165 00:09:57.039 --> 00:10:00.840 on fire, the twin towers are gone, and the president 166 00:10:00.919 --> 00:10:04.360 is missing for half the day, I say valium should 167 00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:08.679 spill from every gumball machine in the country. Cocaine dealers 168 00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:10.879 ought to be allowed to hang a shingle on their doors, 169 00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:15.559 and friends should insist that their friends drive drunk. The 170 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:18.720 world was coming to an end, God damn it, and 171 00:10:18.759 --> 00:10:21.200 I wanted to be numb and out of pain until 172 00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:25.480 it was all over. In other words, shell gasoline was 173 00:10:25.480 --> 00:10:28.200 not the only fuel that we had in the car. 174 00:10:29.879 --> 00:10:33.120 Now I realized that two go tea wearing baldies with 175 00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:37.080 a Yorky between them aren't exactly reservation material at finer 176 00:10:37.159 --> 00:10:40.320 dining establishments. So that meant there was going to be 177 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:42.759 grabbing run when it came to filling our bellies on 178 00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:45.120 the trip, and we were ready to live off the 179 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:48.399 fast food chains that line the route, And looking back, 180 00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:51.519 we'd like to thank Subway for being there. For us 181 00:10:51.559 --> 00:10:54.559 along the way. I gotta be honest, Neil and I 182 00:10:54.679 --> 00:10:57.000 always thought we were too good for a sandwich chain, 183 00:10:57.559 --> 00:11:00.200 and with good reason. Neil tends to be a bit 184 00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:03.120 of a food snob due to two years of culinary experience, 185 00:11:03.559 --> 00:11:06.360 and my sister Rosalie lays out Italian Sunday feast that 186 00:11:06.399 --> 00:11:09.320 would make you cry, and she taught me how to cook. 187 00:11:10.399 --> 00:11:12.519 But when you're in the middle of ass Wife Montana 188 00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:15.399 at eleven PM and your stomach is screaming for food, 189 00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:19.440 believe me, Subway is consistent. And may I say, decent 190 00:11:19.480 --> 00:11:22.759 sandwiches are like a mirage and a sweltering desert. Even 191 00:11:22.840 --> 00:11:25.320 Chezi was given a few slices of roast beef and 192 00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:28.159 general salami by kind hearted managers of the chain and 193 00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:32.799 guys who were sympathetic to our cause. That's a far 194 00:11:32.960 --> 00:11:36.399 cry from those fucks at Starbucks who charged New York 195 00:11:36.440 --> 00:11:39.279 City's walking wounded as they begged to clean the blood, 196 00:11:39.360 --> 00:11:43.080 death and tears from the disbelieving eyes and bottled water 197 00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:47.159 they wanted. Bottled water Starbucks said no, if someone ever 198 00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:51.360 sets foot or sees me set foot in that coffee 199 00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:54.279 chain again, please beat me senseless with one of those 200 00:11:54.360 --> 00:11:58.440 gay latte machines they worship. I can't say a hell 201 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:00.720 of a lot for the cell phone service that me 202 00:12:00.799 --> 00:12:03.720 and Neil used after Las Vegas. You might as well 203 00:12:03.799 --> 00:12:05.960 throw the goddamn phone in your trunk until you see 204 00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:09.879 signs for the Jersey Turnpike. The following morning, we crawled 205 00:12:09.879 --> 00:12:11.840 out of bed and took a look at this beautiful state, 206 00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:14.279 and we felt a bit at home. We saw the 207 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:18.440 American flags flying on every car in business. The people 208 00:12:18.440 --> 00:12:22.759 of Utah, with other holier than now Mormon ways, had 209 00:12:22.759 --> 00:12:25.240 the same look of pain on their faces as we did. 210 00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:30.159 Utah's good people. Our plan was to head north on 211 00:12:30.279 --> 00:12:33.440 Root fifteen and cut across Route eighty, but after we 212 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:35.799 through Utah, we got antsy and decided to cut over 213 00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:39.399 to Colorado on Route seventy. We're both a bit nutty 214 00:12:39.399 --> 00:12:42.000 because there was no real news coming out of New York. 215 00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:45.320 It had only been two days since the attack, and 216 00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:49.480 already the images of the towers were dwindling away. Why 217 00:12:49.559 --> 00:12:54.360 weren't we seeing the videos and eyewitness accounts constantly replaying 218 00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:58.639 the way the networks feed us. They feed us snippets 219 00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:01.440 of other news items. Why wasn't this the same thing. 220 00:13:02.600 --> 00:13:05.039 I started thinking about how videos are shoved down our 221 00:13:05.080 --> 00:13:07.559 throats over and over for months on end when it 222 00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:11.240 comes to police wrongdoing and other popular topics. But for 223 00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:14.600 fuck's sake, we're just attacked on our own soil, and 224 00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:17.480 the preliminary numbers on fatalities were telling us that the 225 00:13:17.480 --> 00:13:19.600 loss of life was far beyond what we lost in 226 00:13:19.600 --> 00:13:23.240 Pearl Harbor. If Michael Bay had pitched this as a 227 00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:26.600 movie to Hollywood Studios, nobody would have green lit the thing. 228 00:13:27.639 --> 00:13:31.080 But it wasn't at pitch, so who the hell was 229 00:13:31.080 --> 00:13:34.799 at the wheel of the machine. The perfect TV haircuts 230 00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:37.919 and perky network news buddies were telling us stay calm, 231 00:13:38.840 --> 00:13:41.480 but also to remain at a level of high alert. 232 00:13:42.360 --> 00:13:44.559 The next minute, they were stressing that we keep shopping 233 00:13:44.600 --> 00:13:48.000 at moles and that we keep visiting parks and museums. 234 00:13:49.080 --> 00:13:52.240 But the kicker was to always remain on a high alert. 235 00:13:53.480 --> 00:13:56.320 What does that exactly mean? Do I stay home on 236 00:13:56.360 --> 00:13:59.519 a ladder wearing an old pair of platform shoes to 237 00:13:59.639 --> 00:14:03.440 costco know? Neil and I finally agreed that we would 238 00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:09.000 alert each other when we weren't feeling high enough. Neil 239 00:14:09.080 --> 00:14:12.320 was a talk radio freak, jumped around the am dial 240 00:14:12.440 --> 00:14:15.639 like mad. The only people who voiced my thoughts were 241 00:14:15.639 --> 00:14:17.600 a bit to the right of what I was normally 242 00:14:17.639 --> 00:14:21.399 comfortable with. They made perfect sense all of a sudden. 243 00:14:21.919 --> 00:14:24.200 I mean, for Christ's sake, when our grandparents came over 244 00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:27.840 here from the Native lands, they had to learn English 245 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:32.080 real quick or else they'd starve. They did just that, 246 00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:34.600 and they couldn't wait to take up arms to protect 247 00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:39.200 their new home. The problem is an immigration. The country 248 00:14:39.240 --> 00:14:42.879 was founded on the principle of open immigration. The problem 249 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:44.960 is that we're taking in people over here is suck 250 00:14:45.039 --> 00:14:48.759 astrid with no intention of blending into our system, and 251 00:14:48.759 --> 00:14:51.840 no intention of learning our language and history and culture. 252 00:14:53.080 --> 00:14:56.279 Get the hint. Already the pledge of allegiance is already 253 00:14:56.360 --> 00:14:59.559 gone from California classrooms. This ain't the way it was 254 00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:01.960 supposed to ago when the big meeting took place two 255 00:15:02.039 --> 00:15:06.440 undred and twenty six years ago. Anyhow, Neil couldn't shut 256 00:15:06.480 --> 00:15:09.840 up about Colorado. He'd been there before, and he told 257 00:15:09.879 --> 00:15:13.120 me it would be the highlight of our trip. Wrong. 258 00:15:14.120 --> 00:15:16.240 I hate the find fault, but there was an obvious 259 00:15:16.279 --> 00:15:21.000 decline in the outward signs of unity when we crossed 260 00:15:21.080 --> 00:15:27.240 Colorado's border. Utah and Nevada had signs out of their 261 00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:31.440 asses and motorists constantly flashing his thumbs up to our 262 00:15:31.480 --> 00:15:35.559 God Bless America sign. There was a definite indifference to 263 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:38.320 the horror that was still smoldering out on the East coast, 264 00:15:38.360 --> 00:15:41.399 and it didn't go unnoticed by us and other travelers 265 00:15:41.399 --> 00:15:44.559 who were en route. The real clincher was when we 266 00:15:44.639 --> 00:15:46.799 tried to get a room late one night in Ski 267 00:15:46.840 --> 00:15:51.320 country and an obviously empty hotel. The middle aged woman 268 00:15:51.440 --> 00:15:55.159 behind the desk where Laura Ashley type get up with 269 00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:58.720 one of those ugly cameos around a grizzled deck. She 270 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:01.000 gave us both the ones and told us there were 271 00:16:01.039 --> 00:16:04.919 no rooms available. I guess my olive skin clashed with 272 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:08.679 the new powder that had just dropped that afternoon. Our 273 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:11.000 story about heading to New York City to see family 274 00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:15.600 didn't move her elitist ass either. She should be so 275 00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:19.360 lucky if her issue of Country Living crosses at the 276 00:16:19.399 --> 00:16:23.879 bail with the magazine. With this story, writer's note, remember 277 00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:26.679 to pitch a remake of Clockwork Orange set at a 278 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:30.200 ski hotel, and Asmen suggests, Neil and I write Direct 279 00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:34.679 and Star. After finding a more sympathetic hotel owner an 280 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:38.559 hour out of self entitlement Colorado. I was starting to 281 00:16:38.600 --> 00:16:43.159 get crumbs of information about missing neighbors and childhood friends. Now, 282 00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:46.039 thank god, my buddy John was alive and merely rerouted 283 00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:49.720 to Canada during the hijacks. So Neil and I headed 284 00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:51.960 north and had a quick pass through the lower corner 285 00:16:51.960 --> 00:16:54.759 of Wyoming. I got to tell you, when we take 286 00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:58.559 our next trip under better circumstances, I'm going to give 287 00:16:58.600 --> 00:17:01.639 that state a closer look. I want to see Yellowstone 288 00:17:01.679 --> 00:17:05.680 in the fall. I want to see a grizzly bear 289 00:17:05.799 --> 00:17:08.200 leading my car, or a moose run across the road 290 00:17:08.200 --> 00:17:11.440 in front of my car, things I never imagine happening. 291 00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:13.759 While my father sent me on my first driving list 292 00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:18.440 on the Brooklyn's Merciless Belt Parkway, entering Nebraska was a 293 00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:23.400 mine blower. Despite our ignorant and preconceived notions about toothless 294 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:27.640 farmers and banjo playing retards, we suddenly had our car 295 00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:32.799 radio blasting classic jazz and priceless oldies from Sinatra, Bennett, 296 00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:37.519 count Basie, and the folks there were even better. You've 297 00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:39.759 heard about the corn fed beauties that trickle out of 298 00:17:39.880 --> 00:17:42.880 La on a turnip truck well, now we're finally observing 299 00:17:42.920 --> 00:17:47.000 them on their own turf. Tall, good looking people look 300 00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:48.759 you with the eye and shake your hand like they 301 00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:52.519 meet it. There were flags flying and sincere nods from 302 00:17:52.519 --> 00:17:56.000 other cars as they passed us by. While Nina was 303 00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:58.920 in one of the truck stops, I was walking chesray 304 00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:01.160 off in the corner of a that went on forever, 305 00:18:02.119 --> 00:18:05.839 and one barrel chested trucker with a handlebar mustache sat 306 00:18:05.960 --> 00:18:09.359 beside me as I walked past his truck. Suddenly my 307 00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:12.799 hoop earrings made me feel like I stood out or 308 00:18:12.839 --> 00:18:15.200 I stood a worst chance at survival of Ned Beatty 309 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:18.559 in Deliverance. This guy had to be six foot six 310 00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:21.640 with a voice that rolled like thunder. Ain't you de 311 00:18:21.799 --> 00:18:27.200 fancy TV guy? I knowdded yes and thought, great, now 312 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:31.839 I'm gonna be raped by a gain Nebraskan starfucker. But 313 00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:37.319 I was way off. Boy was I wrong. The trucker 314 00:18:37.319 --> 00:18:39.720 extended his hand and told me that he was headed 315 00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:43.279 out to Fresno, California with a low of something. And 316 00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:45.119 when I told him we were gone, he just shook 317 00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:49.119 his head and said, God be with those families, and 318 00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:52.400 I know he meant it. The words were simple to 319 00:18:52.440 --> 00:18:57.319 the point, and a lifetime of preconceived image of misconceived 320 00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:01.920 images of country Christians went out the window. I felt 321 00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:05.599 like I was with a real man. He quoted something 322 00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:08.160 from somewhere, but it was his final words that hit 323 00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:11.039 me like an elephant gun. To this day, I think 324 00:19:11.079 --> 00:19:13.880 about what he said. You keep up the TV th 325 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:16.160 because you're good at it, boy, but don't stay out 326 00:19:16.200 --> 00:19:18.240 there too long, or else she might start thinking all 327 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:23.400 that Hollywood bullshit is important. Then he stepped high into 328 00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:29.559 his truck and disappeared behind his tinted windows. Nebraskt is 329 00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:32.720 flat and looking off in all directions. You can see 330 00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:37.079 nothing but corn feels it's beautiful. I understand that most 331 00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:39.920 people would think that could be boring as hell, but 332 00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:43.920 it was just what we needed, and we go in spurts. 333 00:19:45.079 --> 00:19:47.680 We'd have fits of laughter and tears for hours, just 334 00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:50.559 as quickly spend several hours saying nothing to each other, 335 00:19:51.559 --> 00:19:53.920 but the silence held more weight than any words we 336 00:19:53.960 --> 00:19:57.880 could stream together. I felt like calling up every great 337 00:19:58.039 --> 00:20:01.759 woman I've ever known and proposed I wanted to have 338 00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:04.559 six kids and raise them on that farm over there. No, 339 00:20:05.319 --> 00:20:09.880 that farm over there, Damn God, shed a lot of 340 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:17.039 grace on Nebraska. Without even knowing, I found myself turning 341 00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:20.319 the dial to country music. Those people know how to 342 00:20:20.359 --> 00:20:23.680 sing and write songs. I had lumps in my throat 343 00:20:23.720 --> 00:20:25.839 the size of golf balls at times. I never knew it, 344 00:20:25.880 --> 00:20:27.720 but those lyrics were saying the things that I always 345 00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:29.880 wanted to say to someone that I loved or no 346 00:20:29.960 --> 00:20:33.960 longer loved. And O'Neil slept in the back seat. I 347 00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:37.920 found myself pulling into truck stops at two AM for 348 00:20:37.960 --> 00:20:40.720 a six pack of high Life, the cassettes of Dwight Yoakum, 349 00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:44.319 Garth Brooks, and old Don Williams. At one point I 350 00:20:44.359 --> 00:20:48.519 played Glenn Campbell's Gentle on My Mind fifteen times in 351 00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:51.559 a row. Now believe me, I love two Packshakur as 352 00:20:51.640 --> 00:20:54.920 much as the next guy. But if Campbell doesn't move 353 00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:57.839 you in that crazy song, do the world a favor 354 00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:01.480 and light your head on fire. The corn Fierals started 355 00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:04.119 the roll like giant waves. As we left Nebraska and 356 00:21:04.279 --> 00:21:07.680 entered Iowa. It was Friday now, and my sister Rose 357 00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:10.599 they just told us to expect an early dinner on Sunday. 358 00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:13.440 And that was one of the few times that Neil 359 00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:15.720 and I had to duke it out. He didn't want 360 00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:18.559 to rush, but now I wanted to be there. I 361 00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:20.839 wanted to be home. I was desperate to help out 362 00:21:20.839 --> 00:21:24.000 a ground zero, and the images of good strong men 363 00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:27.359 standing online for Alice to help out made me green 364 00:21:27.400 --> 00:21:31.960 with envy in a weird way. I was jealous that 365 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:34.839 I wasn't there. It made me yearn to see a 366 00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:38.440 Red Sox hat chatting up a Yankee cat, Guys with 367 00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:41.720 jet jerseys and giant jerseys throwing their arms around each other. 368 00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:46.039 The fact that I had inkling that all volunteers would 369 00:21:46.039 --> 00:21:47.880 be turning away by the time I got home made 370 00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:51.279 me taste bile on my throat because I got to 371 00:21:51.319 --> 00:21:54.960 tell you this summer before. I showed up at my 372 00:21:55.160 --> 00:21:58.079 twenty year high school reunion in leather pants and a 373 00:21:58.160 --> 00:22:03.000 five hundred dollars shirt and six hundred dollars shoes. I 374 00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:07.079 even signed autographs for my friend's sons and daughters. It 375 00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:11.359 was nice, but the world shouldn't work that way. I'm 376 00:22:11.400 --> 00:22:16.160 glad New York City cops and firemen will forever be heroes, 377 00:22:16.200 --> 00:22:19.240 that their reunions from now on, what they do is 378 00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:23.599 a little more important and harder than reading a teleprompter 379 00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:27.400 on the streets of Hollywood. As we headed further east, 380 00:22:27.480 --> 00:22:31.599 we saw more flags and signs hanging from bridges and overpasses. 381 00:22:32.559 --> 00:22:35.680 We didn't feel alone on our anger anymore. I had 382 00:22:35.720 --> 00:22:38.160 the same feeling I felt years earlier when I walked 383 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:42.160 up the sidewalk to the funeral of my parents. Boy 384 00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:50.759 that hurt India. I'm sorry Indiana, Illinois and Ohio. Pennsylvania, 385 00:22:51.640 --> 00:22:55.039 they were sure no sights to speak of in miles 386 00:22:56.440 --> 00:23:00.640 They go so goddamn slow. It wasn't fun day, or so. 387 00:23:01.400 --> 00:23:04.480 Neil got real quiet on me. We were headed into 388 00:23:04.519 --> 00:23:08.720 the mouth of the Dragon. The final day of driving 389 00:23:08.759 --> 00:23:13.000 across Pennsylvania and Jersey was flat out scary. We could 390 00:23:13.000 --> 00:23:17.279 literally see the smoke cloud and smell the carnage as 391 00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:21.200 we headed toward the Hudson. It was mid Sunday afternoon 392 00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:24.920 when we finally arrived at the George Washington Bridge, and 393 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:29.160 I turned my head at our skyline of heartache and 394 00:23:29.319 --> 00:23:32.200 was akin to the months I'd spent carefully staring at 395 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:34.920 my slowly dying father in the hospital bed when I 396 00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.880 was twenty two. There were better things to do with 397 00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:40.480 my time, but there were certain things you have to 398 00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:43.720 do out of duty and respect for the only way. 399 00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:49.039 Sometimes our heroes leave us. Men generally don't want to 400 00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:52.359 be seen crying in front of other men, but there 401 00:23:52.359 --> 00:23:54.880