WEBVTT 1 00:00:08.679 --> 00:00:25.079 Kathy and Elliott Lewis on stage. Kathy Lewis Elliott Lewis, 2 00:00:25.320 --> 00:00:28.760 two of the most distinguished names in radio, appearing each 3 00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:31.320 week in their own theater, starring in a repertory of 4 00:00:31.399 --> 00:00:35.240 trans brotten stories of their own. And you're choosing radio's 5 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:41.799 foremost players and radio's foremost players. Drama, comedy, adventure, mystery, melodrama, 6 00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:44.960 ladies and gentlemen, Mister Elliott. 7 00:00:44.600 --> 00:00:54.799 Lewis, Good evening, May I present my wife, Kathy. 8 00:00:54.960 --> 00:00:59.880 Good Evening. We all daydream. I remember that as a child, 9 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:03.200 I wanted to be Florence Nightingale, and I'm afraid I 10 00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:07.000 missed some of my earliest arithmetic problems because I daydreamed 11 00:01:07.079 --> 00:01:08.640 caring for the sick and infirm. 12 00:01:08.920 --> 00:01:11.359 I built the biggest bridge in South America instead of 13 00:01:11.359 --> 00:01:12.000 mowing the lawn. 14 00:01:12.439 --> 00:01:15.920 Shirley Gordon, who wrote tonight's play Call Me a Cab, 15 00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:19.640 also has pursued this pleasant avocation, and she wrote some 16 00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:19.920 of it. 17 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:23.079 Down and we're going to do it for you right now, Cathink. 18 00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:28.400 Our story starts with me. I'm in my apartment. It's 19 00:01:28.519 --> 00:01:33.480 very neat my apartment, tidy place for everything, and everything 20 00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:38.560 in its place, and it's very empty. When I'm in it, 21 00:01:38.599 --> 00:01:40.680 I spend a lot of time looking out the window 22 00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:44.959 without knowing quite what I'm looking at or looking for. 23 00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:50.079 Like today, when it's my day off. I finished doing 24 00:01:50.120 --> 00:01:54.239 everything I had to do. My apartment's clean, my clothes 25 00:01:54.239 --> 00:01:57.799 are in order, my hair and my nails are done. 26 00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:00.239 I've just finished the last chapter of the book I 27 00:02:00.280 --> 00:02:04.959 was reading. So I look out the window and I 28 00:02:05.120 --> 00:02:07.159 see the day that I don't know what to do with. 29 00:02:09.319 --> 00:02:17.240 Take a walk, go to a show, window shop. Don't 30 00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:27.360 waste today, Julie, not another one. It's your life. This 31 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:30.479 is miss Benson. Would you call me a cab please, 32 00:02:31.240 --> 00:02:35.360 I'll be right down. Put on a bright lipstick, in 33 00:02:35.400 --> 00:02:39.159 your best hat. Don't let the world know you're a 34 00:02:39.199 --> 00:02:44.319 girl with no place to go. Close the door on 35 00:02:44.360 --> 00:02:49.479 your tidy, silent apartment, Take the elevator and continue your 36 00:02:49.479 --> 00:02:55.080 train of thought. Write a book about it. Call it 37 00:02:55.960 --> 00:03:00.159 one hundred and one tried and proven ways to waste today. 38 00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:06.479 Add them up in It's twenty eight years going on thirty, 39 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:13.400 going on forty, going on fifty, going. 40 00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:17.479 Gone gone. 41 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:23.439 Today. Take a cab and window shop on a good 42 00:03:23.560 --> 00:03:29.960 day to waste Look at people using it, study what 43 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:31.240 they find to do with it. 44 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:47.639 Ms Benson, Yes, you call a cab? What tilmet? 45 00:03:48.400 --> 00:03:48.479 Just? 46 00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:52.080 Uh? Drive around the park any place? 47 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:54.120 Okay? Mess you say? When? 48 00:04:06.840 --> 00:04:08.159 How much will the meet a read? 49 00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:10.800 I can afford it. 50 00:04:12.280 --> 00:04:14.199 I like the sound of it better than a clock 51 00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:19.199 that takes away time and instead of just money. How 52 00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:22.199 much is the cat fair to a lonely day and back? 53 00:04:24.079 --> 00:04:26.279 Costs a lot more than a show's on a meter? 54 00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:32.759 Funny day, isn't it looks like a cat make up 55 00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:36.160 its mind what it wants to be good or bad? 56 00:04:36.600 --> 00:04:38.639 No, you can't tell. 57 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:44.560 That's right. You can't tell. Too early yet my brain 58 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:45.160 might not. 59 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:48.680 No, it's too early to tell. 60 00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:55.959 Misspencer Man. Wonder where the boyfriend is today? 61 00:04:57.120 --> 00:04:57.279 Yeah? 62 00:04:57.439 --> 00:05:00.560 Working, I guess, Or like that? One't without a guy 63 00:05:00.639 --> 00:05:04.240 unless he was working? Unless maybe she hasn't got a boyfriend. 64 00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:10.959 Nice looking girl, nothing better to do than ride around 65 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:14.839 in a cab spoiled, That's what's the matter. Can't find 66 00:05:14.839 --> 00:05:17.279 a guy who can handle her? Tell her the facts 67 00:05:17.279 --> 00:05:21.360 of finance. Tell her there's more important things than riding 68 00:05:21.399 --> 00:05:23.480 around in a cab spending money. 69 00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:28.120 A girl like that, all she needs is to have 70 00:05:28.199 --> 00:05:29.000 someone tell. 71 00:05:28.839 --> 00:05:38.120 Her come in. 72 00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:47.680 Thanks, what are you doing reading a book? This one? 73 00:05:48.399 --> 00:05:49.319 You lost your place? 74 00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:51.879 I finished any good. 75 00:05:53.720 --> 00:05:58.360 Love story? How did it end? Happy Boy gets Girl? 76 00:05:59.639 --> 00:05:59.879 Wasn't it? 77 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:00.720 What kind of a book? 78 00:06:00.759 --> 00:06:03.560 What did you read it for it? Why don't you 79 00:06:03.560 --> 00:06:06.519 read my kind of book, Julie. It's a love story 80 00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:09.160 with all the works, happy ending boy gets Girl. 81 00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:12.279 You'd like it? How do you know because I wrote 82 00:06:12.319 --> 00:06:12.800 it for you? 83 00:06:14.560 --> 00:06:14.839 Joe? 84 00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:18.920 If you wrote the book, then why did you let 85 00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:20.439 the girl get so unhappy? 86 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:23.279 Maybe because the girl is asking to be unhappy. She's 87 00:06:23.319 --> 00:06:26.120 too hard to please. She wants the rich, handsome prince 88 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:29.319 on a white horse. So when somebody else shows up 89 00:06:29.319 --> 00:06:31.639 in his place and he isn't rich or handsome, and 90 00:06:31.680 --> 00:06:34.759 he's driving a cab instead of riding a horse, she 91 00:06:34.879 --> 00:06:36.800 smiles at him, tells him not to come any closer. 92 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:39.920 Joe, that isn't the way it is. I told you 93 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:41.040 the money doesn't matter. 94 00:06:41.079 --> 00:06:42.240 If it isn't the money, that it's me. 95 00:06:43.160 --> 00:06:45.160 And it's still like I said, you want a story 96 00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:48.079 book hero and a story book romance. 97 00:06:48.319 --> 00:06:51.439 No, Joe, I'm grown up. I know better. 98 00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:55.560 And look at me, Julie. Write at me, not through me, 99 00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:58.959 to a dream that doesn't exist. I'm here, and I'm 100 00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:03.800 flesh and blood. I'm close to you, this close, and 101 00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:06.720 when I reach out my hand and touch you like this, 102 00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:12.399 my hand is real, flesh and blood. Maybe it's sweaty, 103 00:07:12.519 --> 00:07:16.000 sometimes dirty, but it means one thing that I'm a 104 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:19.920 human being and not perfect. I say things right and 105 00:07:19.959 --> 00:07:23.839 I say i'm wrong. I'm kind and I'm cruel. I'm 106 00:07:23.879 --> 00:07:28.040 all things, some good and some bad, just the same 107 00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:34.639 as you, Julie, Just the same as you. Look at 108 00:07:34.639 --> 00:07:39.360 me now, Julie, really see me, know that I'm here 109 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:44.480 with you, and know that I'm no more than I am. 110 00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:51.040 But that I love you. Can't you see, Julie? Can't 111 00:07:51.079 --> 00:07:52.600 you see? 112 00:07:52.959 --> 00:07:53.279 Oh? 113 00:07:53.439 --> 00:08:02.120 Jo, Joe, my darling? Whoever do I think I I am? 114 00:08:02.160 --> 00:08:03.160 Please forgive me. 115 00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:04.959 Sure you're seeing me for real? 116 00:08:06.199 --> 00:08:10.000 No white horses, No white horses, Darling, Just kiss me 117 00:08:10.120 --> 00:08:10.560 for real. 118 00:08:14.439 --> 00:08:20.560 I love you, being no more than I am. 119 00:08:19.319 --> 00:08:26.160 Being no less than you are. I love you, Joe. 120 00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:30.519 You're doing you? How about that guy? Hey? 121 00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:34.200 Some people think the streets were made just for them, 122 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:35.080 real road. 123 00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:40.799 Hogs all over the place. Uh, sorry if I frighten. 124 00:08:40.559 --> 00:08:43.799 You, No, No, that's all right. 125 00:08:44.840 --> 00:08:47.679 Hey, looks like we're in for some rain, all right, 126 00:08:47.720 --> 00:08:51.440 really starting to come down all of a sudden. I 127 00:08:51.480 --> 00:08:55.399 can't say I mind that good weather for my business. 128 00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:58.679 But then that's the way it is. What's a good 129 00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:03.039 day for me is bad for other people. Rain can 130 00:09:03.080 --> 00:09:04.559 spoil a day for a lot of people. 131 00:09:05.919 --> 00:09:05.960 Me. 132 00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:09.519 I like it good for my business. 133 00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:13.519 Yes, it's always hard to get a taxi on a 134 00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:22.919 rainy day. 135 00:09:19.480 --> 00:09:21.639 Rain or shine. It's a day. 136 00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:26.960 Day to find something to do with. So you share 137 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:29.360 it with a stranger who speaks about turning his face 138 00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:34.120 to you. Look at the picture on his identification card 139 00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:36.480 and wonder what sort of man goes with that polite 140 00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:40.080 voice from a fus seat. He talks about the weather. 141 00:09:40.519 --> 00:09:41.080 That's all. 142 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:48.919 A bad face, but of course no handsome prints on 143 00:09:48.960 --> 00:09:53.919 a white horse here. Wonder what sort of life he lives? 144 00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:56.679 And he takes off that cap and prescomes something about 145 00:09:56.879 --> 00:10:01.440 besides a cab driver. I wonder what sort of girl. 146 00:10:01.480 --> 00:10:06.120 He's something else too. I wonder if they got married 147 00:10:06.159 --> 00:10:11.320 and found it an end to being lonely. I wonder 148 00:10:11.320 --> 00:10:14.240 if i'd like to trade places with her? 149 00:10:17.080 --> 00:10:21.879 That you Joe, Yeah, it's me, sorry, I'm late. Last 150 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:24.480 fair I picked up took me clear back across town. 151 00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:29.080 Hello, darling, hm uh tired. 152 00:10:31.360 --> 00:10:35.919 Ooh you're not not a you baby? 153 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:40.960 Never Canasta tonight tonight come, well let's see their life 154 00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:44.559 will be here anymou hm. 155 00:10:43.320 --> 00:10:45.200 Well, I'll not put my shoes back on. 156 00:10:46.759 --> 00:10:49.360 Its When have you ever even considered playing and asked her? 157 00:10:49.399 --> 00:10:50.039 With your shoes on? 158 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:51.240 You get some ketchup? 159 00:10:51.840 --> 00:10:57.279 Oh Joe, it's such a good roast. Why do you 160 00:10:57.279 --> 00:10:57.919 spoil the day? 161 00:10:58.080 --> 00:11:01.519 I told you before pork without ketchup? It was like, uh, 162 00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:03.399 like ham without eggs. 163 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:04.799 Or Canasta without shoes? 164 00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:07.639 Mm, who won't the last time? 165 00:11:08.440 --> 00:11:08.879 We didn't? 166 00:11:08.919 --> 00:11:09.320 Oh much? 167 00:11:09.799 --> 00:11:13.360 N'm not much and gravy good? 168 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:14.639 It's just right? 169 00:11:15.320 --> 00:11:17.200 How can you tell 'em? You let the cutcher bruning 170 00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:17.840 do like that one? 171 00:11:18.039 --> 00:11:19.840 Mm? 172 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:25.039 Always business today, fair pretty day days like this, people 173 00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:25.879 should walk. 174 00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:29.200 And I did through the park mm and was off 175 00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:30.840 a pretty till green after the rain. 176 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:33.279 If it's nice Sunday, let's walk. I feel cheated when 177 00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:34.159 you walk without me. 178 00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:38.200 Oh I we'll walk Sunday rain and shine. 179 00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:39.600 Stop by the zoo to day. 180 00:11:39.879 --> 00:11:43.240 Sure gave Oswald your love. He spit at me. 181 00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:45.320 Oh shame on. That's walked. 182 00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:47.759 When there's a new little baby monkey it's a cute 183 00:11:47.799 --> 00:11:50.080 little peanut had with big sad eyes. Oh yeah, we'll 184 00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:52.240 go Sunday. Yeah right, more potatoes. 185 00:11:52.440 --> 00:11:55.720 Mm. What else do you do today? 186 00:11:56.559 --> 00:11:56.679 Uh? 187 00:11:58.240 --> 00:11:58.320 Uh? 188 00:11:58.360 --> 00:12:01.440 A shop for groceries, you know, our snacks for the 189 00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:05.919 night and stuff. M m mmm. I ran into Alice stuff. 190 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:08.120 You remember that's a girl too my job when I quit, 191 00:12:08.120 --> 00:12:09.480 and she told me all about how things are going 192 00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:10.200 down the agency. 193 00:12:10.480 --> 00:12:12.600 Oh well, how are things going down to the agency. 194 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:15.639 Betty in the front office is wearing her hair and 195 00:12:15.720 --> 00:12:16.159 new color. 196 00:12:16.679 --> 00:12:17.840 Well what color used to be? 197 00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:20.399 Okin? Remember, right? 198 00:12:20.440 --> 00:12:21.120 I think? No? 199 00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:23.159 Mm, and that's what Alice says it is now, so 200 00:12:23.159 --> 00:12:24.440 it must have been some other color before. 201 00:12:25.240 --> 00:12:25.559 Green? 202 00:12:26.200 --> 00:12:31.200 Nice color, Bark's very green. You'll see something someone else 203 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:34.320 is now besides the baby monkey and Betty in the 204 00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:35.200 front office is new hair. 205 00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:38.399 Yeah, sure, well i'd see. 206 00:12:38.759 --> 00:12:42.600 I know. I'm mad at you. 207 00:12:42.600 --> 00:12:45.600 You are huh mm uh ah. 208 00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:47.279 It tastes like a bottle of ketching. 209 00:12:47.399 --> 00:12:49.200 How come you're mad at me? No? 210 00:12:49.320 --> 00:12:53.960 Wait, let me guess. It's our anniversary and I forgot 211 00:12:53.960 --> 00:12:55.559 and you think I don't love you anymore? So you're 212 00:12:55.559 --> 00:12:57.480 going home to mother right after Canasta tonight. 213 00:12:57.840 --> 00:12:58.720 Guess again? 214 00:12:59.519 --> 00:13:01.120 Mm? 215 00:13:01.159 --> 00:13:03.759 You've developed a guilt complex. You think you're a wicked, 216 00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:05.919 sinful girl or ought to be punished because you've been 217 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:07.759 living with a married man. So you're gonna leave me 218 00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:10.320 and go off and be a monk, a monk, a 219 00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:13.240 god's walder mm and spit it people. 220 00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:15.120 As a last guess. And if you miss, you'd write 221 00:13:15.120 --> 00:13:17.240 a dishes. If I win one, i'd write the dishes 222 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:17.919 you wash 'em. 223 00:13:17.960 --> 00:13:19.559 Mm Uh. 224 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:22.320 You're mad at me because you're wearing your hair a 225 00:13:22.320 --> 00:13:24.480 new color and I didn't notice it wasn't red anymore. 226 00:13:25.080 --> 00:13:25.879 You're very warm. 227 00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:27.679 Mmmm Uh. 228 00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:29.320 You're wearing your hair a new color and I didn't 229 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:30.519 notice it wasn't green anymore. 230 00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:31.639 You're getting warmer. 231 00:13:32.399 --> 00:13:35.399 I'll give you a heat mm I can't accept charity. 232 00:13:36.200 --> 00:13:37.480 Congo claw. 233 00:13:38.279 --> 00:13:40.240 That's not fair. You have to give the hint in English. 234 00:13:40.279 --> 00:13:42.559 I told you were warm. 235 00:13:42.600 --> 00:13:45.759 I'm wearing my nails a new color. You didn't notice, 236 00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:51.200 Congo claw. It sound exotic, sounds threatening. I put it 237 00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:52.039 on for Canasta. 238 00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:55.919 It look beautiful when you meld what time are supposed 239 00:13:55.919 --> 00:13:56.200 to be here? 240 00:13:56.360 --> 00:13:57.559 Time is it now? H? 241 00:13:57.559 --> 00:14:03.480 It's twenty of Can you eat peanuts yet? 242 00:14:04.279 --> 00:14:05.720 Oh? Oh? 243 00:14:05.879 --> 00:14:06.039 Oh? 244 00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:08.559 A new little baby monkey. Sure, he's off a cute 245 00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:12.759 We'll go sandy even if it rains. 246 00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:16.440 What'd you say, miss, what? 247 00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:19.000 What? Oh? 248 00:14:19.080 --> 00:14:19.480 The rain? 249 00:14:21.360 --> 00:14:22.039 I said? 250 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:26.159 The park's so pretty when it rains. Would you turn 251 00:14:26.279 --> 00:14:28.799 back drive through it again? 252 00:14:29.720 --> 00:14:34.000 Sure? Miss you name it anything you want. 253 00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:49.840 You are listening to Kathy and Elliott Lewis on stage 254 00:14:49.960 --> 00:14:54.320 tonight's play Call Me a Cab. Every day of the year, 255 00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:58.320 the Red Cross is helping humanity somewhere. Servicemen rely on it. 256 00:14:58.600 --> 00:15:01.360 Disaster victims oh their lives, lives to its prompt health 257 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:02.879 communities everywhere. 258 00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:04.759 No, it's day by day services. 259 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:09.799 All these countless ministries are financed by your contributions. Won't 260 00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:12.840 you answer the call to make this year's contribution larger 261 00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:13.360 than ever. 262 00:15:34.279 --> 00:15:36.159 This rain is going to make a lot of people unhappy. 263 00:15:36.919 --> 00:15:39.279 Plant picnics, baseball games, things like that. 264 00:15:39.399 --> 00:15:43.440 And the rains, Yes it's too bad, spoils. 265 00:15:43.000 --> 00:15:43.960 The day, that's right. 266 00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:50.519 Families, kids, rank and spoil things for them, Yes it can. 267 00:15:54.360 --> 00:15:54.559 Can. 268 00:15:56.600 --> 00:15:59.759 And just a little rain spoil things when you're cut in, 269 00:16:02.120 --> 00:16:04.120 when you're not alone anymore. 270 00:16:04.320 --> 00:16:06.919 There's so much to share between you. 271 00:16:21.960 --> 00:16:24.440 Hello, Helen, this is Julie. 272 00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:25.200 Hey, where have you been? 273 00:16:25.200 --> 00:16:25.759 On afternoon. 274 00:16:25.799 --> 00:16:26.840 I tried to call you. 275 00:16:26.840 --> 00:16:29.360 I wasn't home. Oh, but I'm so glad you're home. 276 00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:32.000 I'm just dying to talk to somebody. It seems hours 277 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:32.919 before Joe be coming. 278 00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:35.720 What's up anyway? You sound like the cliche cat that 279 00:16:35.840 --> 00:16:36.919 swallowed the canary. 280 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:39.440 Well, it won't be long before I look like I 281 00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:42.639 swallowed something a lot more substantial than a canary. 282 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:48.440 What, Julie, Then you've been to the doctors. Oh, honey, 283 00:16:48.679 --> 00:16:51.480 that's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. 284 00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:54.879 I just came from the doctors. Oh, Helen, I'm so glad. 285 00:16:54.919 --> 00:16:56.639 And Joe's going to be just out of his mind 286 00:16:56.679 --> 00:16:59.279 when he hears no, no, not an inkling. 287 00:16:59.320 --> 00:17:01.840 I wanted to wait, yes, sure, but break it to 288 00:17:01.879 --> 00:17:04.319 him gently. I understand these things gonna be very hard 289 00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:04.920 on husband. 290 00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:05.400 Huh. 291 00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:07.079 I'd seen it in the movies, but I'm not sure 292 00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:10.200 I remember just how it's supposed to go. I can wait, wait, 293 00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:12.079 wait a second, will you I want a cigarette? 294 00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:25.720 Tete me too, I'm back. 295 00:17:26.359 --> 00:17:26.559 Yeah. 296 00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:29.319 Well, here's the way it goes. The husband has a 297 00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:32.039 hard day at the office, you see, Yeah, and he 298 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:35.039 comes home to his little wife who has this big secret. 299 00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:36.319 Under her uh belt. 300 00:17:38.759 --> 00:17:41.039 So he comes in the door and he hangs up 301 00:17:41.079 --> 00:17:43.039 his hat and coat, and of course he's expecting the 302 00:17:43.160 --> 00:17:46.279 usual big hello darling from her and the big welcome 303 00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:49.599 kiss like he always gets, only this time there's nothing. 304 00:17:50.039 --> 00:17:52.640 This time he comes into the room and she just 305 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:54.119 stands there, looks at. 306 00:17:54.079 --> 00:17:56.799 Him, doesn't say a thing, poor guy. 307 00:17:57.240 --> 00:18:00.440 And so he says, hello, honey, you know she does 308 00:18:00.519 --> 00:18:04.319 say anything, just keeps looking at him. Then what Well, 309 00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:06.599 the more she stands there and looks at him, the 310 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:10.200 more worried he gets. So finally he asks, honey, what's 311 00:18:10.200 --> 00:18:14.920 the matter, and she says, guess exactly. 312 00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:19.839 Oh, isn't that just awful? Deliver me from ever in 313 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:23.160 this world doing thing like that to Joe? Imagine, greatest 314 00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:24.759 thing in the world happens to you. You make your 315 00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:26.759 husband play a guessing game to find. 316 00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:28.799 Out what it is. Lamnt you haven't heard the worst. 317 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:32.960 What happens is he guesses wrong, and he says, honey, 318 00:18:32.960 --> 00:18:35.599 whatever's the matter? It isn't true, I didn't do it. 319 00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:36.480 Oh No. 320 00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:38.839 Of course she gets suspicious because he's got such a 321 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.480 guilty conscience, and on the happiest day of their life, 322 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:43.279 they end up having a big fight. 323 00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:46.440 You made it up. But just as the saying, that's 324 00:18:46.440 --> 00:18:48.240 not the way I'm going to break the news to Joe. 325 00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:50.799 I want to use the one where her husband, as 326 00:18:50.839 --> 00:18:54.279 soon as he finds out, lowers his wife gently into 327 00:18:54.319 --> 00:18:56.759 a chair and never lets her touch a vacuum cleaner 328 00:18:56.839 --> 00:18:59.920 or a dirty dish for the rest of her life. Liza, 329 00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:01.319 at least not for the next nine months of it. 330 00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:03.319 You know, I'll tell you, why why don't you go 331 00:19:03.319 --> 00:19:05.359 out and get some pink and blue yarn and be 332 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:06.160 knitting When. 333 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:08.559 He comes in, he'd ask me whose baby shower I 334 00:19:08.680 --> 00:19:09.240 was going to? 335 00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:12.880 How about drinking eight glasses of milk at dinner? He'd 336 00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:16.279 noticed when you started looking homogenized. Oh, I know, why 337 00:19:16.279 --> 00:19:18.119 don't you wait n no midnight and do the old dill, 338 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:21.119 pickle and ice cream bit. That's a hard way, I'd say, 339 00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:22.359 but surefire, Oh. 340 00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:24.720 I couldn't possibly wait until midnight. I wanna tell him 341 00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:26.319 the second he comes to the door. If I can 342 00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:29.920 only locate my tongue at the time, we'll let him. 343 00:19:29.759 --> 00:19:33.599 Sit down first, Honey, It's only fair. I will honestly too, 344 00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:37.039 It's just wonderful. I'm so happy for you both. 345 00:19:37.319 --> 00:19:40.480 Thanks Helena, don't don't hang up here. Won't Joe be 346 00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:42.839 home any man? Yeah, but uh, I'll talk to you later. 347 00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:44.359 But I still I'm gonna tell. 348 00:19:44.319 --> 00:19:53.319 Him you will buy honey, congratulations, thanks. 349 00:20:02.119 --> 00:20:12.799 Me, Honey, Hi, honey, honey. 350 00:20:13.599 --> 00:20:16.160 Oh, Joe, guess what. 351 00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:20.359 I guess it stopped raining? What? 352 00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:24.319 Oh? 353 00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:26.839 Yes, I guess it has now. 354 00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:28.079 It looks like it's gonna clear up. 355 00:20:29.400 --> 00:20:29.920 That's good. 356 00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:33.720 Yeah, not so good for my business. But nice with 357 00:20:33.759 --> 00:20:37.480 the people. Now they can have their picnics and ball games. 358 00:20:38.119 --> 00:20:39.440 Hah huh. 359 00:20:39.599 --> 00:20:42.920 You just watch fifteen minutes from now, the park will 360 00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:46.480 be packed with people. Hi, I suppose so that's always 361 00:20:46.519 --> 00:20:46.839 that way. 362 00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:51.119 As soon as it stops raining, everybody comes to the park. 363 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:55.240 I don't blame them. It's so pretty after the rain. 364 00:20:55.480 --> 00:20:58.279 Just wait and see fifteen more minutes. 365 00:20:58.319 --> 00:21:02.759 An audio here is dog's bar and babies crying. I know, 366 00:21:02.839 --> 00:21:05.480 as soon as it stops raining, everybody who's got a 367 00:21:05.519 --> 00:21:09.240 baby comes to the park. Everybody in the world who's 368 00:21:09.279 --> 00:21:11.200 got a baby. 369 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:23.480 Doctor Surry called surgery. 370 00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:32.119 Uh you wanna look at this one here? Yeah? Thanks. 371 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:34.880 I don't know what's in it. 372 00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:36.640 I've been looking at it for how and I guess 373 00:21:36.680 --> 00:21:42.720 I couldn't tell you what's in it? Yeah, uh, this 374 00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:47.440 is your first two that's right, don't look like it 375 00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:51.119 should be. It's been married for fourteen years. Blanching me. 376 00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:55.160 I couldn't believe it when the doctor told us. I 377 00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:59.000 just couldn't believe it. I think it's wonderful. Yeah, yeah, 378 00:21:59.039 --> 00:21:59.839 it's wonderful. 379 00:22:02.839 --> 00:22:03.240 Mm. 380 00:22:04.680 --> 00:22:07.799 You and your wife been married very little, uh a 381 00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:10.480 little over years though, Oh dar, that's wonderful too. 382 00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:13.640 Yeah yeah mm. 383 00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:17.480 Aren't you wondering what it's gonna be? Oh no, no, 384 00:22:17.640 --> 00:22:20.839 after this long, it'll be a baby though. Oh sure 385 00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:28.400 it's I it's wonderful. Yeah to see Bland, she's she 386 00:22:28.519 --> 00:22:31.160 just as rating as a bride, and why. 387 00:22:31.079 --> 00:22:35.480 You can imagine? Well, sure it's wonderful. Listen to that. 388 00:22:35.559 --> 00:22:42.279 That sounds like the nurse is coming. If no, I 389 00:22:42.319 --> 00:22:43.079 guess not that, No. 390 00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:47.519 I I I guess it won't be much longer, though, 391 00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:52.039 No I, I I wouldn't dh think so, huh crazy 392 00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:55.680 couple of years ago, I sure wouldn't have thought I'd 393 00:22:55.720 --> 00:23:01.759 be sitting here in this room watching that clock, caring 394 00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:07.759 this much. My wife's name is Julie. Oh jee, that's 395 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:12.079 a nice name. My wife's name is Blanche Blanche wonderful name? 396 00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:12.640 Yes? 397 00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:21.119 Uh listen, yeah, somebody's coming, mister Carson. Is that you 398 00:23:22.279 --> 00:23:24.400 have that? Yeah? Have the hat a Henry car Yes? 399 00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:25.240 Uh a nurse. 400 00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:26.839 Would you like to see your son? 401 00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:27.680