1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: Has this ever happened to you? Someone invites you to 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:09,119 do something, maybe go out for dinner or join a party, 3 00:00:09,439 --> 00:00:13,080 but you can't go. Maybe you're too busy, maybe you 4 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,120 don't want to go, but you feel a little nervous 5 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:22,719 about saying no. Yeah, totally understandable. Saying no in English 6 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:27,839 isn't always easy, so today let's learn how to do it. 7 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,719 Speaker 2: Welcome to another Happy English podcast, coming to you from 8 00:00:34,759 --> 00:00:38,520 New York City, and here's your English teacher, Michael. 9 00:00:39,679 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: Alright, thank you John, and thanks everyone. It's Michael here 10 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:48,799 from Happy English and I help people speak English better. 11 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:53,880 And this is Happy English Podcast, Episode nine thirty two. 12 00:00:54,640 --> 00:01:00,840 How to Politely refuse an invitation in English. Hey, thanks 13 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,359 for joining me today. Before we get going, I wanted 14 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,079 to let you know that you can find the Happy 15 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:11,879 English Podcast on my YouTube channel. Just head over to 16 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:17,760 YouTube and search for Happy English. Michael. Okay. In this lesson, 17 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,359 we're going to look at how we invite people in English, 18 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,359 and more importantly, how to politely say no when you 19 00:01:25,439 --> 00:01:31,079 can't accept that invitation. This is super helpful for conversations 20 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:36,359 at work, school, or even with friends. So let's get 21 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:41,879 started with invitations. You probably already know the basic patterns 22 00:01:42,079 --> 00:01:46,480 like are you free on Saturday night? Or let's try 23 00:01:46,519 --> 00:01:50,079 that new restaurant, or would you like to go for coffee? 24 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:54,519 Remember that the phrase would you like to is an 25 00:01:54,719 --> 00:01:58,920 indirect way to invite someone, and this kind of indirect 26 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:04,560 language you using wood is commonly used in everyday English conversation. 27 00:02:05,519 --> 00:02:10,840 There's a difference in the nuance and politeness level between 28 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,520 do you want to have dinner on Friday? And would 29 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,120 you like to have dinner on Friday? Do you want 30 00:02:19,199 --> 00:02:23,520 to is very direct, whereas would you like to has 31 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,599 a more polite feel to it. Of course, it depends 32 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,479 on the context, and Native speakers use all kinds of 33 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:36,639 different tones when inviting people. Some are soft like would 34 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,919 you be interested in? Others are more direct like let's 35 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,120 go or come join us? And I think for most 36 00:02:45,159 --> 00:02:49,199 of you listening here today, saying yes to the invitation 37 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:55,319 is easy, like you can use phrases like of course, thanks, 38 00:02:55,800 --> 00:03:00,520 or that sounds great, thanks, or sure I would love 39 00:03:00,599 --> 00:03:04,800 to go. Yeah. We even use wood in the reply 40 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:09,400 like would you like to go for lunch tomorrow? Yeah? 41 00:03:09,759 --> 00:03:14,960 I would love to. That same indirect language is used 42 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:20,199 when we accept an invitation. Now The tricky part comes 43 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:25,680 when we need to say no. In English, especially in 44 00:03:25,759 --> 00:03:30,879 American English, we usually follow a kind of three step 45 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:36,439 pattern when we politely say no. First you say thanks, 46 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:43,879 then you politely say no, and third you explain why yeah. 47 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:50,759 Rejections generally need those three steps, so let's look at 48 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:55,479 each one. The first thing we do when we refuse 49 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,280 an invitation is to thank the person for inviting us. 50 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:04,439 We almost always start with thanks, like thanks for asking, 51 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:09,680 or thanks for inviting me, or oh, thanks for the offer. 52 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:16,759 This shows that you appreciate the invitation. The second step 53 00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:22,600 is to politely say no. Here, we don't just say no. Instead, 54 00:04:22,879 --> 00:04:27,079 we offer something softer like oh I wish I could, 55 00:04:27,399 --> 00:04:32,040 or oh I'm afraid I can't, or something like I 56 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:36,800 would love to, but I have to pass. See this 57 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:41,439 word would pops up a lot in these situations, doesn't it. 58 00:04:42,439 --> 00:04:47,600 So start with thanks and then politely say no, like 59 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:53,160 thanks for asking, I would love to go. And then 60 00:04:53,639 --> 00:04:58,480 comes the most important and often forgotten part of the refusal, 61 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:05,720 the When turning down an invitation, the thank you and 62 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:10,480 the polite no are not enough in American culture, so 63 00:05:11,079 --> 00:05:15,399 we usually give one short reason, nothing too detailed, like 64 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:20,199 I have to work that day, or I already have plans, 65 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:26,360 or any other reason you have to decline the invite. 66 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:32,279 The reason is necessary. Here are a few examples in context. 67 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,759 Would you like to go for dinner tomorrow? Thanks for asking. 68 00:05:36,079 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 2: Oh I wish I could, but I already have plans 69 00:05:39,079 --> 00:05:39,720 for tomorrow. 70 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: Here's another one. Hey, we're having a barbecue on Sunday. 71 00:05:43,879 --> 00:05:45,399 Want to join us? Oh? 72 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 2: Thanks for the invitation. I'm afraid I can't. You see, 73 00:05:49,399 --> 00:05:51,480 I'm going to visit my parents for the weekend. 74 00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:55,759 Speaker 1: Here's one more example. Let's get coffee after class? 75 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 2: Thanks for asking. Sorry, I would love to, but i'm 76 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,319 a lie under the weather today. 77 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: See how polite and natural that sounds. Saying no with 78 00:06:06,319 --> 00:06:11,000 these three parts is friendly and it's clear, and it's 79 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:15,079 something Native speakers do all the time, even with close friends. 80 00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:19,759 And here's a tip. You don't need a long explanation why. 81 00:06:20,439 --> 00:06:25,079 Just one short reason is totally fine. Even something simple 82 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,480 like I have a class that night or I'm busy 83 00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:33,120 with my family is enough. And your tone matters. A 84 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:37,319 friendly voice, a small smile if you're in person, that 85 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,639 goes a long way in showing your being polite. Again, 86 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,839 when you need to decline an invitation, you say thanks, 87 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:50,439 say no politely, and then give a brief reason why 88 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:55,480 doing so will make your English sound more friendly and 89 00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:01,040 more natural. And hey, if you want to practice this 90 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:05,079 kind of English with me, Yeah, me and a group 91 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,360 of other awesome English learners, come check out my podcast 92 00:07:09,439 --> 00:07:14,519 Learners study group. We meet every week and practice the 93 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,879 language from these podcasts lessons together. It's a great way 94 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:23,959 to improve your speaking and build confidence and have a 95 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,279 lot of laughs along the way. Just check the link 96 00:07:27,319 --> 00:07:30,120 where you are listening to this podcast right now, or 97 00:07:30,759 --> 00:07:35,680 visit Myhappy English dot com and choose podcast episode nine 98 00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:41,160 thirty two for more info and thanks for listening. Remember, 99 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,680 learning another language is not easy, but it's not impossible, 100 00:07:46,079 --> 00:07:50,079 and I'm here to help you on your journey. 101 00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:54,519 Speaker 2: This podcast is brought to you by Happy English. Please 102 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:59,120 visit Myhappy English dot com show your support for Happy 103 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,879 English by me as a review. Get English, Get Happy, 104 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:16,240 Happy English.