Speaker 1: That's the last time I went to the abbey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. The abbey is a fun spot. I mean,
great food.
Speaker 3: And not good looking strippers.
Speaker 2: Though these ones were good looking. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 3: One of them look like, uh, he should work at Staples,
and he'd be like the least good looking person at Staples.
Speaker 2: That's one of the meanest things I've ever heard. Hillo
and welcome to another Brands making new episode of Bad TV.
You know, I got another kink in my neck working.
I can feel it.
Speaker 3: It's stress.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know you're walking up these I'm walking
up the steps today and go, oh boom, there it is.
It's like one of those freaking pac Man ghosts that
he's going around in my spine up there, and I'm like,
I feel you. I know it's up there. Don't you
have foot? Don't you feel bad for me?
Speaker 3: I do, But I was gonna make it about myself. Okay,
I'm of a certain age. If I burp too loud,
I hurt my back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I'm Dylan. That's pat Great to be here,
Great to be here talking about the Real Housewives of
Orange County.
Speaker 1: Kalin's here too, Kaalen is here.
Speaker 2: Too, big big fan of the show. Did you watch
episode five Alieners yet? No?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna watch it after this. I have an hour
to kill and I can't wait to watch it.
Speaker 2: Are you gonna watch it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I don't have any time, Dylan. I'm like you, I'm busy.
Speaker 1: I'm hustling.
Speaker 3: I got eighteen different things going, and I like, I
don't get to watch television, especially when my wife is
in the house, because she doesn't allow me to watch
good television.
Speaker 2: You know what she does? Allow you to watch Real
Housewives of Orange County? Where's Ruby? Maybe wondering, well, where
what else would Ruby Ruby be? She is gallivanting up
to Rhode Island. I think that they're going to some
kind of wedding wherein I think Ruy said something about
wearing masks and going into the basement and seeing all
the people they'd captured or something like that. I'm not
sure what she's up to, but we're here to talk
about Real Housewives of OC announcement Salt Lake City. We
have done the first episode. Boy when an episode it
was baby Gorgeous was not there. Jared is splatting on
everyone and everything. We're so excited to break that season down,
but it will be a Patreon dot com slash another
podcast network.
Speaker 3: Well, obviously, if you guys are listeners of ours, you
heard the first episode and you realized how amazing it
is and you can't live your life watching that television
show without us recapping it.
Speaker 2: Also thought it was a fun episode.
Speaker 1: It was great.
Speaker 3: But there was one mistake that was in that episode.
We called the way that the rating system. We said
it was snowballs. It's not it's wives, it's wives. How
many wives do you give it?
Speaker 2: I think we can work on that. I think we
can work on that because this show is tits. Yeah,
this shows it's good, right, that's good it So how
many tips would you give this episode?
Speaker 3: Okay, this episode was all over the place.
Speaker 2: That's what I said about last week. And it's just
because we I don't think for the lay it's a
problem because they're just watching the show. For us, it's like,
hang on a second. But but I will say that
our protestations to the format of this show really does
come from I think our perceived failure on their part
to tell acohesive story right, because if we can't track it,
then they've done a bad job. Yeah, it's just a hodgepodge. Yeah,
they say, goddamn a hodgepodge.
Speaker 3: I was like trying to compare it to like a
movie or something that like made no sense and it
was long.
Speaker 2: Yeah. People are like, I'm so excited for him. You
know that movie Him.
Speaker 3: I saw the trailer for that.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you something. I'm so over the fucking
you know, it's kind of a movie about something, but
it's really just fucking cool shots a ship.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't care about the cinematography and the cool image.
Speaker 2: I want the I want a movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, if I want cool images, I'll go to Pornhub.
Speaker 2: Well, you'll go to an art installation, or you'll go
to you know, MoMA or something right or that. Okay,
like like like, honestly, though, I have popcorn right now,
I have popcorn. I'm here to watch a movie. Okay,
don't give me this. When I have.
Speaker 3: Popcorn, I fear they're going to give you that.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to see it. No, no, no, no, no
no no no.
Speaker 3: I want to read the reviews first. You know, us
had a lot of amazing imagery, and it started out
with like, what the hell is this a bunch of
fucking gun hands across.
Speaker 2: Remember that, I've heard the reviews and they are not good.
The reviews go like this interesting but wasn't really about anything,
which is like obviously obviously right. Sorry, it's just sorry,
let's get into real.
Speaker 3: He that I'll call my grandma.
Speaker 2: All right, right, right, right, okay, all right, and your
grandma's dead.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, all right. Uh, tam Rat, I want to
talk about her. She has two modes.
Speaker 1: Combative.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: I thought you're gonna say bitch and demon.
Speaker 3: No no, I've learned no, no, no, there's a certain way
to talk to our female audience. You can't use words
like that combative, bitch, bitch and a Margarita lesbian.
Speaker 1: It's like she gets.
Speaker 3: Like sexualized with the girls, like let's party.
Speaker 2: I don't think there's any I could be wrong, you know,
I'm usually on the wrong end of this, but I
think our female listeners think that Tamara is a bitch
and far worse things.
Speaker 1: They just don't want to hear us say that.
Speaker 2: I don't think you're I don't think you're right about that.
Oh okay, and we got to be us. Tamra is
you know what I'll upgrade her to an evil cunt.
I mean, just she just is she is? Who doesn't
think that? I'll tell you who does her daughter? Yeah?
She way though.
Speaker 3: Probably a few axes, uh and a few former cast members.
What did you think about Katie not being on our
television screens for a second week?
Speaker 2: Didn't even notice?
Speaker 3: That's the worst thing you can say about someone.
Speaker 2: Yes, it is.
Speaker 3: You know Todd didn't show up to the party. Who's Todd?
Speaker 2: Oh he didn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to be that. You don't want
to be that.
Speaker 3: You want to as like we do this podcast, tell
you know, we want to either be loved and worshiped
or hated. There's no middle grad all right, Uh, I
liked it. Gretchen is really annoying me. Oh wow, stupid
storyline about someone having during a who forgets to turn.
Speaker 2: Off the record. But also like, like, I love that
you brought that up, because there is there is no
multiverse where that audio exists, right, that's just no, no, no.
But also what could the name possibly be?
Speaker 3: So we're tracking this. So this was when she was
still married to Simon, I hope because it wasn't with Eddie,
because if it was with Eddie. She's still with that
guy who?
Speaker 2: What? Okay?
Speaker 3: I think Eddie came into the picture around twenty twelve.
Speaker 2: Did they bleep out the guy from who? Who's the
guy that Mark? His Name's Mark his name? Okay? They
do that? They do that? Ah, just wall on a flyer.
Mark mcgrathh Mark McGrath him.
Speaker 3: Get this. I played with my buddy last night. I
whipped out the guitar. I hadn't played this particular guitar
in a while, and I had a Sugar Ray guitar
pick that I took when we were touring with Sugar Ray.
Speaker 2: So okay, So who could this name possibly be like?
It would be like a Mark McGrath is the most
famous person. This can possibly be interesting interesting? You know, well,
come on, what are we talking about now, dyl.
Speaker 3: They were having sex. Apparently it was caught in an
audio form. You know, there is a famous song by
Guns and Roses in which in the middle of the
song there's like a long like bridge and it's Axel
Rose banging a girl in the studio and she has
an orgasm. No, well, that's the story, and it was
Stephen Adler's golfriend at the time.
Speaker 1: He was so disturbed by it. He went on.
Speaker 3: A thirty put together like a thirty five year crack.
Speaker 1: Addiction, and then they kicked him out of the band.
Speaker 2: Interesting. Yeah, acxul Rose a bit of an asshole. But
how many tits would you give this episode?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: I'll give it. It was great. It was like forty
nine tits.
Speaker 2: I would put it at right around forty nine tits
for me too. Actually, outside of the grotesque cutting back
and forth from Beverly Hills to Tamecula, you know, it
was a fun episode. Right. We've got Shannon really kind
of like what's the she sheltered dogs at Tamra a
little bit, you know. Tamra says, you know, well your
father was a drunk, right, and she just breaks out
of her cage, right, And that's somebody who's hand shy
and wounded and also a drunk. We also got the
Abby that was very fun. Emily very clearly wants to
have sex with somebody who is not putting a lean
cuisine on her backside.
Speaker 3: Uh, And I get that.
Speaker 2: I understand that.
Speaker 3: No one wants a lean cuisine on their back.
Speaker 2: No, it's too hot, it's too hot anything coming out
of a microwave. Yeah, don't put that out, don't put
that on my back and rail away at me. I'm
watching forensic Files, and to me, I would say, why
have you presented yourself this way? And why is your
lower back so perfect for laying food upon? But that
would be unreason while I give this episode. Okay, where
do we go first?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 3: Let's uh we start off into maculat some like wine
tasting room, and I must say, Gina and Tamrat having
anything to say about Shannon Badors drinking issues is pretty rich.
Gina had a dui I think three seasons ago, and
Tamar was so high on Xanax she was in another
dimension like two episodes ago, right right, So shut the
fuck up.
Speaker 2: Well it's a fair point. But you know, when you
think about it, how could somebody named Meatball not have
a dui? Exactly impossible? Impossible, Tamra. We get to this
portion where Tamar took Shannon away for a sneaky little drink,
and Meatball actually brings up the hypocrisy surrounding that decision,
only because Tamar spent the better part of a year
calling her a filthy, disgusting drunk and then to indulge
her in what Tamar described as her love language, sucking
down a quick cocky a little bit.
Speaker 3: I want to talk about love language and the use
of that word. I think it's played out. Attributing a
hobby or an activity as a way to how you
connect with other people is fucking stupid.
Speaker 2: Oh you think it's stupid.
Speaker 3: Oh my love language is skittles.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, that's not. What the fuck did you just
say My love language is skittles? No love language. Your
love language is cookies, quality time, gifts, physical. Usually for men,
it's physical, right If you ask you know, if you
asked one hundred men what their love language would be,
I think sixty two of them would just say blowjobs.
But the other ones, the ones that are more or
in touch, the wishing well kind of men, would say
things like quality time, vacations, dates, stuff like that. I
think your love language is blow drops, but you love
m hm mm hmm. What is your love language?
Speaker 3: Buzzballs?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, no, seriously, what what is your love language? What? What? What?
When do you feel closest to your wife?
Speaker 1: I wien watching TV together?
Speaker 2: Okay, quality time, that's what it is. Shannon's love language
is buzzballs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, where are we?
I don't know? All right?
Speaker 3: So then Tam Ratt wants to know what she can
do to win Shannon.
Speaker 2: Door back, and it's obviously time.
Speaker 1: No, it's stop being a horrible.
Speaker 2: Person, all right, right in evil c Yeah, so we
get back to Crustacean. We m to the tongue blind
constituents and inhabitants of Beverly Hills last week? Do you
ever go to the Sprinkles down there?
Speaker 3: I've been to Sprinkles at the Americana, right. It's a
cupcake with a lot of sugar and frosting and.
Speaker 2: I haven't eaten today. That sounds so good. Yeah, doesn't
a sprinkle sound fantastic? Right about? Now? You know they're
they're Cheugie and they're very like, kind of Kardashian like.
But my fuck, is a Sprinkles cupcake delicious? I think
we've discussed this before.
Speaker 1: I enjoy it.
Speaker 2: Let's move on.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, hold on, we got to stick here first.
Speaker 2: Well, we're going to stick here, but we'll stop talking
about Sprinkles as it has nothing to do with the show.
Speaker 1: Okay, So this is where.
Speaker 3: HD Heather to bro brings up her h brings.
Speaker 2: Up her dad, Conrad, Conrad Conrad.
Speaker 3: And how he used to embarrass the family in public
and he also had no empathy. Hey, Heather to b
I'm glad you can throw your dead dad under the
bus for storyline, but it's not necessary because she was
trying to compare herself to how.
Speaker 1: This hamrat made her feel.
Speaker 2: This is my thing with Debro. Everything is a wash
and such a strong veneer that you can't buy any
of it. So when she brings up something that's this.
Speaker 3: Calculated, Yeah, it's either calculated or it may be true,
but it doesn't make any sense because there hasn't been
enough emotional context built up to it.
Speaker 2: She's just a I don't know, a a fucking She's
just like a like she's like I don't even know
how to describe.
Speaker 3: All right, So Heather de Bro was like social media.
She probably hired some company like what are they saying
about me? And she got the feedback the report and
it said the audience feels like you're not giving enough
of yourself.
Speaker 1: So then she hired another company.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're talking about like Cambridge Analyticals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they gave her analytics.
Speaker 3: They said, share a p personal story of pain. So right,
and so that's where this bullshit came from, using her
dead father Conrad as a storyline. She could have just said,
you know, Tamara reminds me of Kelly Dodd, another fucking
white trash, loudmouth bitch sewer rat and I'm triggered by it.
Speaker 2: You know. You know, we've been trying to pull the
Hollywood version of the Housewives and their analog. Who's the
guy that did iHeart Huckabees and silver Linings?
Speaker 1: Play with David something.
Speaker 2: David o' russell isn't okay, that's not a good one. Tamra,
the David o' russell of real Houseboys. No, we'll we'll
work on it. But Tamra uh sucks. And it's clearly
evidence when Tamar confides in her, you know, because whether
this is bullshit or not, they speak a language of
bullshit and fake. So Heathery confiding in Tamra that she
reminded her of her father there should have landed with Tamer.
It didn't. She said it, you know, shut the fuck
up or something like that, and I think ordered a cocktail. Yeah,
So let's get to the abbey though, fun spot a
lot of fun boys. It's a fun spot.
Speaker 3: Personal story the Abby haven't been there in ten years.
Last time was with my wife while we were still dating.
Speaker 2: Can you go down there with Oh? West Hollywood totally okay,
it's just hard of Hollywood is bad.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they found me yesterday. I was at Paradise
Cove and a driver drove up and I went back
into the restaurant. He waited for me, and then he
parked outside and he's like, how you been. I'm like,
we were having the fakest conversation right now because I
fucking hate your guts and I know you hate me too.
Speaker 1: It was scary. It was scary.
Speaker 3: Hit me up, I'll DM me.
Speaker 1: I'll share more of the stories. I can't do it
on air.
Speaker 3: This platform is way too big a right, any personal
Abby story ten years ago with my wife. We're probably
like ten years and I'd like.
Speaker 2: To see you get a little proficient with some kind
of weaponry, maybe a butterfly knife.
Speaker 3: I can do it with my hands.
Speaker 2: Well, these these people that you've been in a decades
long feud with, they carry machetes most often, so you
could use your hands. But you know, we'll see good luck.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm at the abbey. We're with a group
of people.
Speaker 3: My buddy had been dating a girl named Crystal for
a little while.
Speaker 1: I knew Crystal. Anyway.
Speaker 3: I'm sitting on the chair. Everyone's partying, my wife's having fun.
We're all drinking. The girl, Crystal goes, uh, do you
want a back massage?
Speaker 1: And I was stupid.
Speaker 3: You know, I was young and good looking, and I said, yeah, sure,
go ahead. She starts giving me a pack massage while
I'm sitting on the chair. She's behind me. Right, My
wife sees this girlfriend.
Speaker 2: To be fair to your girlfriend at the time, and
your wife, Now, that's that's insane.
Speaker 3: It's wildly and appropriate. I didn't know that at the time.
Speaker 2: Less very good friends.
Speaker 3: We weren't very good. We probably hung out like three times.
We get back to our shitty apartment. The group walks in.
The girl Crystal's last one, walked through the door. My
wife slams the fucking door in her foot. Yeah, and
really I was to blame for it. She should have
not let me in my own apartment.
Speaker 1: That's the last time I went to the abbey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. The abbey is a fun spot. I mean,
great food and.
Speaker 3: Not good looking strippers.
Speaker 2: Though these ones were good looking. What are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? One of them looked like, uh,
he should work at Staples, and he'd be like the
least good looking person at Staples.
Speaker 2: That's one of the meanest things I've ever heard, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 1: He was like the nerdy one.
Speaker 2: My god, because Staples employees are I mean, I think
it's a prerequisite that you have to be on fentanyl
to work there, so there's a sunken look to all
of them already Staples. I haven't been to a Staples
in a while.
Speaker 3: I like when they go out, you know, all those buttons.
We do all the work now as patrons of a business,
you know, it's never more than there. Like I'm like,
why are you even standing here? It should just be
like a self fucking checkout.
Speaker 2: Hey, I can't find a college ruled notepads And they
just look at you and don't say anything, and you're like, WHOA,
what's going on? And then they start drooling and you're like,
I'm gonna get out of here. Yeah, I don't feel comfortable.
Speaker 3: It's like where I could buy a computer. I think
the guy told me to fuck off.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, they're pretty rude, so pretty crazy stuff. So
we cut back to the Bananas strip party that they
had in the past and we discuss ear banging. Do
you have any thoughts on ear banging.
Speaker 3: I'd be really upset if my wife was on television
being filmed doing this ear banging.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know how i'd feel about
it either. I'd be like, you know, I mean, you're banging.
You know, that's pretty intense.
Speaker 1: Can I ever tell you the time I went to
a swinger party? I believe so I did.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: There was the way it worked is you had to
come with a girl if you're a dude, and you
had to pay fifty bucks a person. So, I mean
it's like twenty five years ago. Yeah, and we go
in there. It's what you think. It's a bunch of
people that aren't that attractive. And there were only one
couple that kept banging in front of all of us,
standing up from behind. Yeah, and these two they were
going at it everywhere.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Can I tell you something, I actually would not
be okay with the ear bang. I'm okay if my
wife goes to a strip club or what's that show
called Magic Mike, which i'd never heard the end of.
How amazing it was the first one. Steven Soderbern No, No,
the live show in Las Vegas. Yes, but the ear
bang is that's a move that is a little too
sneaky from the mail strippers side, because if we turn
that forty five degrees, we've got a serious problem. Oh yeah, okay,
and I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing, right,
So don't do that dancing bear.
Speaker 1: Get the bear?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't watch porn anymore. Yeah, but when
I did, there was a phenomenon known as the dancing
Dancing Bear.
Speaker 2: Is a fun time if you're trying to pleasure yourself,
it's an inefficient time because we've we've got to roll
through a lot of people, and you know, it's like
a it's like a compilation. Maybe not everybody's for you,
you know, so you better have some time to kill
if you're going that rough. But what we're doing right
now is being gross and disgusting. Kaylin, you got to
give us a hand or something. Man, oh man, what
a crazy time it is. Sometimes you just can't get
to bed. Sometimes you can't relax. Sometimes you don't have
the performance you need at any given time of the day.
And you know what'll help with that, Loomy Loomy. Imagine
if edibles just made you feel good, Yeah, and not
like sonked out of your mind.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't like being too high. It makes me anxious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, who does like that? You know your body is
firing off, you know, electrical impulses and chemical impulses, going
this is not good. We're not in control of this.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, But that's the exact opposite of what Loomy's off.
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Speaker 3: Oh yes, I took the strawberry gummy and uh my god, man,
I was wired. I just watched all of the Ozzy
Osbourne concert. Literally it was like fourteen hours. I could
not get to bed. I took one of those gummies
I was sleeping at the last song.
Speaker 1: I think he was playing paranoid.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Can I tell you something. I took a loo
and gummy last night to get to bed because I
was a little wired, and it put me right out.
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Speaker 3: No, no, no, it was risotto, vegetables and then like
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so Emily really rips it up. She gets drive banged
by a gay man. She facetimes her family in the
car and at this point, Gretchen's pretty fucked up. She says,
if we go to a karaoke bar, do you think
they'll play one of my songs? Which is which is.
Speaker 3: Like, Well, she's wondering if at that karaoke bar, will
they have a song cued up from a demo session
thirteen years earlier?
Speaker 2: Now for something they won't no one's ever heard. No,
they'll have Journey, but they won't have you.
Speaker 3: No, no, no.
Speaker 1: That's an insane thing to say.
Speaker 2: We may even have Steely Dan, but they certainly will
not have you. Asia would be the worst karaoke song.
Speaker 3: Now, back to Emily calling our kids. It reminds her,
and she shares this with us as an audience that
she calling her kids reminds her she hates her life
and Shane and the kid that won't eat French fries
and can we lose that story? No, for the love
of god.
Speaker 2: It's it's it's Uh. I empathized with Emily. We've talked
about it. It's a rough storyline. It's a difficult one
to land. It's a little bit like uh, Sully Sullenberger. Anyways,
you know, I was thinking it would be a funny
bit a karaoke bar that has like every song you know,
and so somebody gets up there they do like a
Mars of alta song karaoke. There are certain songs that
should not be a car.
Speaker 1: I was on the karaoke circuit.
Speaker 3: It is a really sad part of my life. I
was surrounded by people I shouldn't have been hanging out with.
So we would go to karaoke bars twice. It was
all the rage in the late and people would bring
in their own songs. I'm not joking. Yeah, that really sad.
We used to go to a place called I forgot
the fucking.
Speaker 2: Name of it. Was it in Korea Town?
Speaker 3: No, that's the Brass Monkey.
Speaker 2: Now, well, I gotta say when I see people doing karaoke,
and we gotta keep mchaeling, you gotta give us a hand.
But honestly, when we when I see people doing karaoke,
being on television or in the flesh, I used to
envy them and want to be free enough to do it.
Now I just go, you're different. I'm not getting up there.
There's no circumstance wherein I would really be able to
not make it embarrassing for myself and everybody.
Speaker 3: You have grown so much as a human being than
because I'd liked you said they were they're different than you,
and back in the day, you would sub that word
out for a loser.
Speaker 2: Right, No, I don't think they're losers, they're just different.
All right?
Speaker 1: Where are we?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah? Yeah, so I want to apologize everybody like
this shit, but.
Speaker 3: They're burying the lead because Gretchen asserts the tam rat
banged a singer while she was married back in twenty twelve.
And I want to say to Gretchen, bravo for holding
a piece of that gold information for thirteen years.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, or.
Speaker 3: Not just something stupid you said?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Who what can you imagine if it was Frankie
Valley and he's just like lipsick it anyway, Sorry, okay,
all right, I really am confused, like who could this
have possibly been? So we get back to Temecula. Shannon
is sleeping. It's nighttime, but it's not yet time to sleep,
and Shannon is sleeping. Heather has evidently she has some
very strong pot.
Speaker 3: One thing to say about Shannon Badoor is she should
have she should have like uh not done this season?
She should have I think she should have just sat
this one out because she's really phoning in it.
Speaker 2: She has low te she doesn't she doesn't have anywhere
near the energy to be on this show.
Speaker 1: No, I don't even think they should pay her.
Speaker 2: I kind of agree with you, man, I gotta be honest.
She she's essentially a Staples employee, but main cast it's
nuts phoning it. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 3: So the marijuana thing with HD, this one stuck out
to me because I'd have to ask Heather to Bro
what happened with that fucking champagne line you had? You
never bring that up?
Speaker 2: Is it Heather's own brand of weed?
Speaker 1: Dylan?
Speaker 3: We know how the fucking white labeling bullshit goes like, Oh,
that's my new company and it's you slap your fucking name.
Speaker 2: Maybe it is debro pot. I don't know. I have
a hard time believing that just because she's not so
not that I think it's probably like we went to
a marijuana dispensary in Beverly Hills and they charged fifteen
times more than anyone else, so they think that it's good.
The pageantry surrounding the marijuana.
Speaker 3: They kept referring it to it as Heather de Bro's,
Like we'd line.
Speaker 2: I think, well, anyways, Meatball is very proud of Tamra
for her growth, and we keep talking about Tamera's lust
for personal growth and change, and Jen finally jumps in
and is all of us. She's a fifty seven year
old evil. See, there's no change that's going to come
to Tamra. Now, she's just disgusting.
Speaker 3: I Jen is my favorite person across the board as
far as a cast member.
Speaker 2: I too.
Speaker 1: I found this out like last year.
Speaker 3: I'm like, she has this nice balance between being legitimately
like believing in people, and she's not. She's not strategizing
at all. She's just here calling balls and strikes.
Speaker 2: That's the way that housewives should be.
Speaker 1: You know, although you do need some villains, you need
some horrible.
Speaker 2: People, right, But but the villains come in the casting, right,
and we can't have villains. Villains burn out. When you
look at New York, which I'll always references the peak
of this show, there are no villains right right. Everyone
is amorphously floating back and forth between good and bad,
and there's no cookery. Like Ramona, she'll bring stuff up,
but it's really in her character and who's she is.
She's a nutbag, right, same with son Sonia and then
forget me, don't for I'll kill you. I'll kill you.
So when you have somebody like Tamra who is gum
shoeing dirt on people all that, it's just not It
betrays the spirit of the show.
Speaker 1: They got to fix this.
Speaker 2: They got to fix this show. All right.
Speaker 1: Back to the hotel pillow fight. How fun. Now let's
get to uh tam Rad.
Speaker 2: Really quickly though. We go in, we eat pizza and stuff,
and we pillow fight. What is this butler for status?
What could this man have possibly done?
Speaker 3: I'm Heather bro right now, Dylan, I'm fucking awesome. Yeah,
look at how amazing my life is. Yeah, I got that.
I had time to call my personal assistant, who I'm
paying to have time for to put monogram names on
every napkin fucking plate.
Speaker 2: What a cushy gig that PA for Heather de Brow
And I guarantee you that person stressed out, I think. So, yeah,
we get to this Tamra having sex with a singer stuff,
and we arrive at the biggest bitch on the show, Slade.
Speaker 3: Slade, Oh we call him all right, this was ridiculous.
So Gretchen finally finds her phone. By the way, Emily,
don't call her Gretcher. Yeah, I just no.
Speaker 1: I hated that that like got to me. I hated
that nickname.
Speaker 3: Come on, Gretcher. Gretcher finds her phone, calls Slade. She
wants him to send her that song. He clearly doesn't
have it, but he had had heard that she was
in a recording studio and had Saxon got caught on audio. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's called the zero story.
Speaker 2: This Slade is the biggest bitch on this show. Say
it again. He is is quite a sad man. They
ask him in a talking head about Tamra and he
says that he doesn't want to gossip about Tamra. He
just wants to get to the truth. So I think
the difference between Slade and John Janssen is just evil. Like,
I think Slade is just a gossipy little bit. I
think that John Jansen is a bad human being.
Speaker 3: Johnny Jansen is a horrible human being.
Speaker 2: Slade's just an idiot.
Speaker 1: Slade's a loser, right, He's.
Speaker 3: Living his current life like it's twenty twelve. I bet
if you run into them he will mention things like
like he's existing in two thousand.
Speaker 2: Like, forgive me if I'm mischaracterizing Slade for you know,
true true fans. But I think that you'll go along
with us when we say that although they're fine, Margins,
John Jansen's probably a worse person than Slade. I don't know,
get in the comments, let us know. So anyways, moving on.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, Meatball is California sober. I love how we
create names to justify, like, yeah, doing the work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I don't know. I mean a lot of
people can be California sober. A lot of people can't.
A lot of people can have alcohol problems and you know,
have a drink every once in a while, right, some
people cannot.
Speaker 3: But that's when she tells Shannon Badoor, Right, she's worried
about her Yeah, and then if she keeps drinking at
this level, she might die soon. That's Archie. He said,
please get her wasted. That's the only time she's quiet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, but she's wasted a lot. No we kud.
But but Gina does kind of come out of the
top er op and go, hey, I just want to
tell you, you know, you have the energy of his
tables employee. I'm worried that you're going to have a
heart attack, and it's it's like, whoa, what's going on?
What a fun tricked? What a fun hang into Mecula.
I mean, this was bad. The only thing I loved
from this and I forgot to mention it last week
when we were doing the sidecar driving and Shannon snotted
in Jen's face that it re minded me of one
of the early Food Network cooking shows, Two Fat Ladies.
Speaker 3: Have you seen that one of them died a week
after the show started?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Are they from England?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well yeah, I think they're British.
Speaker 3: One of them died a week after they started the show.
Speaker 2: That's so crazy.
Speaker 1: Obesity.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, it's a killer. Yeah yeah, yeah, when you're
that Thank god they weren't little children standing near when
you fell fifty dead in Nepaul. Right, But I loved
that show so much and they had you know, there
are people that are just perfect for on camera that
Julia Child. These women were superstars, and it's very sad
that one of them was so fat.
Speaker 3: That she died a week after she got her first
That's bad, it's true too.
Speaker 1: All right, Where are we?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, yeah, next morning, next.
Speaker 2: Morning, next morning.
Speaker 3: Next morning, cauliflower and rice biscuits are being prepared.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say something.
Speaker 3: I know already made a fat joke or something, So
forgive me for this.
Speaker 1: Every person that like speaks.
Speaker 3: The the superfood of cauliflower, you know, like, oh, I
make calie flower pizzas.
Speaker 2: You're gonna say they're fat.
Speaker 3: Universally. Yeah, so just eat flower. It's fine.
Speaker 1: Just don't eat so much.
Speaker 2: Pretty brutal stuff. Yeah, you know, califlower, it does seem
like a bit of a workaround to work around for
people who are trying to better at themselves. Okay, so
you know, I think cauliflower is great for people. If
you want, if you're hankering for a pizza and you
need to go cauliflower crust, that's fine. But you know,
Patty is correct, you're probably fast. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Here's back in the day, there was a brand called
snack Wells, and their whole thing was you like desserts, Yeah,
I like desserts. Everything is fat free. You'd get a
gigantic package fucking chocolate brownies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Devil's spootcake yeah, zero fat. Yeah.
Speaker 3: The only problem is I eat the entire.
Speaker 2: Box in one cent, right, right, right, and this is
coming from I'm currently fat and you're a former faty.
So there we go, there we go. All right, So
tamer keeps trying to talk to Shannon while she makes
these cauliflower things, and Shannon's not having it. She is
going clinically insane and should not be on the show.
We make fluffy pancakes, and we talk about Meatball and
Travis getting married. I feel really bad for Meatball because
Travis was hitched to I believe some kind of Blair
witch and those sides every story, well two sides every story.
But if there's one thing we know about kind of
evil forest witches, is there. They've They're very difficult to
do arbitration with successfully.
Speaker 3: Because they're just so like they don't want it to end.
Speaker 2: They're like, I have a necklace of eyeballs to hang
right now. I can't sit in a deposition for five hours.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's push this off to U twenty twenty nine.
Speaker 2: Well, they always speak in moon cycles too, and it's like, oh,
I don't know, give me a Google calendar invite.
Speaker 1: Now, Dell.
Speaker 3: I do want to go back for a second, because
you gloss over this at the hotel debrou we have
a full staff there this morning. Yay, it's not just
Zach the butler. But there's no coffee. But that doesn't
matter because Heather Debreu is filthy, fucking rich. This condo's awesome,
her life is awesome. Even the bacon is awesome. And
what's gonna make this moment even awesomer is when Terry
Debreu Frankenstein himself fucking shows up.
Speaker 2: In ten minutes. Yeah, Mary Shelley's monster does arrive. But
first I want to say, this chef is one of
the biggest assholes I've seen. He He's a fucking prick.
I mean, this guy is Listen, I understand that there's
artist ry, but you're a monkey. Okay, So if I
want over hard eggs, go in there and dance for me.
That's what I'm paying you to do it.
Speaker 1: I don't need your opinion.
Speaker 2: What kind of personal chef in Beverly Hills has an
attitude with bad orders. That's the entirety of Beverly Hills.
It's a well done steak kind of place. So so
she wants her eggs well cooked, go in there and
do it. Don't give them fucking SaaS you know they're
the real Housewives of Orange County. You bitch? Sorry that
really true?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, me too, I think it.
Speaker 3: Uh he was just paid for the day by the
Debros and he fucking hates her.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, that's fine, you take your money.
Speaker 3: Now, this is when the questioning of uh favorite part
of episode.
Speaker 1: Oh this is great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like the best of the housewives. My
wife because I used to have a bad habit. I
be at like some stranger's house and be like, how
much you pay for this house? My wife would instantly
throw her elbow into my ribs, right.
Speaker 2: Because it's uncouth. But but forgive me. We need to
do this with Ryan and Jen a little bit more often,
just because how fun it is.
Speaker 1: Right, what are you doing for a living?
Speaker 2: Now? Yeah? Right? So do you guys who who pays
for what? What are the venmo transactions? Like? Right? But
we get into Gretchen's financial relationship with Slade, and the
reason that Gretchen didn't want to link up in a
legal manner with Slade was because he owed back taxes
to the tune of millions of dollars or something like that. Now,
Heather to bro or Emily goes now I know that's
taken care of, but like, are you guys gonna get married?
And Gretchen says, in so many words, it is not
taken care of. We are still on a thirty eight
percent interest plan and will be on that for five years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she adds because if they get divorced, it's
hard to divvy up zero assets, a very common problem
on the House.
Speaker 2: Of the franchise, Yes, famously with Dr Eaton p K,
who owned nothing. The issue with this is they've been
together for sixteen years. But also, let's not judge. It
works for them. Gretchen is a gossipy little canary and
so is slayd Right, so they're perfect for one another.
I wish them all the luck in the world.
Speaker 3: Now, Crooked Cock, do you were you watching the show
when he broke his dick?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, when.
Speaker 3: He gave Gretchen I think it was their last season
Bentley and then she learned that he had paid for
it with her money.
Speaker 2: Oh really, God, I would be so mad.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now later, Gretchen, because I can't afford to Bentley. So
if my wife got me a Bentley and she did
it with my money, I would be like, well, that's
impossible though, And if she was like, no, it's yours,
I would say we have to bring it back.
Speaker 3: She did, Yeah, yeah, later. Now this is the juiciest
part of the episode, Like I want to hear who
Tamarrat slept with that big.
Speaker 1: Time producer that we should all know, right, Yeah, But.
Speaker 3: Gretchen has some memory loss, some some memory issues from the.
Speaker 1: Slumber party the night before.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: But uh.
Speaker 3: She hopes what she said to Emily and Heather de
Brow won't get mentioned on the show this season. Yeah,
Ozzie getting back together with Black seventh is uh is
more likely?
Speaker 2: You know, it was the oldest thing. We walked in
there and I just started choking this ship out of
my wave and I was trying to kill her. It
was Osie. Hold onut was you walked in and Lucia
inappropriate you walked in and you said you're going to
die And I said, Ozsie, who are you talking to?
Speaker 3: You said, we have decided you're going to die tonight, bitch,
and he choked motherfucker.
Speaker 2: And then and then and then and then she's like,
what we got past? And even the therapist doesn't know
what to do. The therapist is like, well, I applaud you.
That's one of those things where it's a rubicon crossing.
You tried to kill me, So I think we're getting
a divorce. All right. We get to massages, Emily said,
oh god, damn it, I ate too much. Emily has
Emily has worm gummy worms falling out of her purse,
which I have no problem with consumption. What I have
a problem with is just how disgusting that is. I mean,
loose gummy worms at the bottom of the bag. My god.
Speaker 3: She also steals eggs, if you remember.
Speaker 2: Let's get back to Temecula, though. We talk about Shannon
leaving Archie, and she's left Archie for one night and
two days, and I really hope she at least got
a sitter or something like. That's not the problem here, dell, No,
it is the problem.
Speaker 3: When all the wives are discussing what is there for
you when you go back home? Shannon says, when I
get back home, I'm gonna hang out with Archie.
Speaker 2: What the fuck that was Archie?
Speaker 1: I heard that?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he doesn't want her to come home. He's
over it.
Speaker 2: But she is going to come home. So the next
best thing to do is to despite the lack of
opposable thumbs, find a gun and kill yourself. I think
Shannon's doing fine with Archie. I think that plenty of
people can live solitary existences and they're fine. They like that.
You know, Shannon, Shannon has been there and done that.
She doesn't want to shack up with some you know,
stinky guy who's gonna throw his feet up on the
couch and you know she's gonna invade her space. I
think that, you know, she may be doing okay, clearly
she's not. But who knows, right, Archie, maybe all she needs?
Speaker 3: Well she attributes it to uh, growing up in chaos.
Yeah yeah, yeah, and then you know that bad marriage
she had with David, and then of course that don't
forget Johnny J.
Speaker 2: Johnny J. But we get into, you know, what her
childhood was like and that her parents were divorced.
Speaker 1: Wasn't your dad a drunk too?
Speaker 2: My dad runs in the family. Oh you're talking to me?
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, I was talking about tram Rat said
that to Shanna.
Speaker 2: But dor you know, I Shannon claims to have been
in therapy for eight hours a day. We don't know
how long that stretch was, but clearly it didn't take
because she has a emotionally irregular response to Tamar talking
about her father having an alcohol problem. And while Tamar
is a disgusting human being, I don't think that Tamra
was trying to out her or insult her. I think
Shannon just lost it. Well.
Speaker 3: Tam Rat, though, was attempting to bring it back to
her drinking, and by saying that you know a parent
had a drinking problem, is connecting it.
Speaker 2: I hate Tamra, but I really don't think she was
trying to do that. I think she was just talking
about her childhood.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, I know your job on this show
is to talk to other people on the show, but
tam Rat is like trying to connect through that is inappropriate.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I understand, but.
Speaker 1: I agree with you.
Speaker 3: I think Jen really put too much on that that
she was attempting to do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah. Well, so Jen speaks with Tamara about
why it was triggering, and she's probably right, and then
Shannon walks back in and is just a constant stasis
of mess. Right, So she says, you know, something indecipherable
and then says, my therapist told me not to come
and meatball hits the floor. And I completely agree with you,
Shannon Badoor. Shannon storms Badoor should not be compensated for
this season. And I think that it's I think that
it's time. I think that she Anna needs to move
on because she's not it's not she's not well, it's
not good for the show. She even when she did
have all of her druthers, she had decided that she
was just gonna get up from the table and walk
away anytime there was confrontation. That's not a real housewife.
Now we've got her in some Queen Mary ghost era.
That's not good either. Like, I don't know, get in
the comments, let us know. Should we shake up the cast?
Should Shannon go? Does Tammer need to go? I think
so obviously.
Speaker 3: Anyway, how many titts did you give this episode?
Speaker 2: How many tests did you give this episode? What are
your favorite things?
Speaker 1: Do you miss Ruby?
Speaker 2: Do you miss Ruby? Let us know we love you
very much. I'm Dylan, say goodbye. Pat's say goodbye.