Speaker 1: Welcome to Dad's one day clok. Parental discussion is advised
Speaker 1: mature content.
Speaker 2: Beyond this point, you know, before Dome comes in on
Speaker 2: his dad joke, we have to discuss the matter at hand.
Speaker 2: A j I called Dome today. I didn't know he
Speaker 2: had a guest with him at work in California.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I thought he was by himself, thought he was lonely.
Speaker 2: Figured I have ten minutes to drive home, like, cheer
Speaker 2: him up, you know, talk to him.
Speaker 1: I mean, you were right, you were right about needing
Speaker 1: that and being lonely just because somebody's here, doesn't let's
Speaker 1: be honest here.
Speaker 2: So I genuinely didn't know, and he goes. I was like,
Speaker 2: what are you doing? He was, I'm just laying in bed.
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, is five thirty. He's like, you know, well,
Speaker 2: getting ready to crank one. And then I immediately was like, wait,
Speaker 2: wait you laid down the crank one out and he
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, you know, I wanted I wanted to
Speaker 2: be like part of the experience. I was like, wouldn't
Speaker 2: that mean that you'd have to get on your knees
Speaker 2: and be jerking off missionary positions as you have to
Speaker 2: do all the work in your relationship, and I.
Speaker 1: Was like, no, no, no, I curl up in a ball.
Speaker 1: I cry, I cry really hard, and then jerk off
Speaker 1: in my own face.
Speaker 2: I promptly said, we're stopping this conversation because I'm bringing
Speaker 2: it up on this podcast.
Speaker 1: The whole time the producers sitting on the couch, and
Speaker 1: she didn't argue one point, so and I'm sure she
Speaker 1: could hear. Oh absolutely the best part.
Speaker 2: We were probably five minutes in on the conversation before
Speaker 2: I found out she was there. Yeah, and then I
Speaker 2: promptly said I wouldn't have changed anything.
Speaker 1: I said, no, no.
Speaker 2: I still have said everything I said, and then just
Speaker 2: to get you in.
Speaker 1: And then we realized that so eventually, when I get
Speaker 1: to my next first date, I need to wear a
Speaker 1: shirt that says my only red flag is my best
Speaker 1: friend with a picture I have the red flag. Yeah,
Speaker 1: check's out again. The entire conversation was had in front
Speaker 1: of her, so zero funks given. I I literally she
Speaker 1: just left. I asked, I was like, are you gonna
Speaker 1: stick around for the podcast? She's like probably not. I
Speaker 1: was like, you sure, because you know you're welcome to
Speaker 1: which I was trying to be nice. She's like, I
Speaker 1: don't think I want to. I was like, okay, good
Speaker 1: because I really don't want to.
Speaker 2: Well, it's got to be weird. And then the perspective
Speaker 2: of she can't hear us. Yeah, so everything she hears
Speaker 2: is out of context.
Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely, And she is the master of letting shit
Speaker 1: roll when she doesn't have any context, Like she creates
Speaker 1: her own narrative that creates these insane tornadoes of disillusion
Speaker 1: and anxiety. And she's standing outside with a cup up
Speaker 1: against the door. I get she probably left her phone
Speaker 1: in here, like she left her work phone in here on,
Speaker 1: so she's listening to her work phone with her other phone.
Speaker 1: Oh dude, take nutshots on her work phone. No, that's
Speaker 1: too far, because her because it was linked. Did you
Speaker 1: just say that it's linked? The only reason, The only
Speaker 1: reason is because I know her work phone is linked
Speaker 1: to an account. They're set where somebody else sees those photos.
Speaker 1: So that's the only reason why I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3: And that person who sees them is going to be
Speaker 3: like those you like Josh Rosenberg's.
Speaker 1: Nut Damnit, he didn't shave his asshole again. Fuck? Look
Speaker 1: at all them dingleberries are stuck in there. I was
Speaker 1: washing my ass the other day in the shower and
Speaker 1: my fingers gripped like seven fucking hairs at once and
Speaker 1: just ripped them out. It hurts so bad. Oh damn,
Speaker 1: make you think of like you want to laugh. No, no,
Speaker 1: you're god.
Speaker 3: No, you have like some retired strength in your hand.
Speaker 3: And all of a sudden, it was just like extra chromosome.
Speaker 1: Ah. I don't know, because normally it just slides up.
Speaker 1: Channeling your son, Yeah, channeled him on.
Speaker 2: Can you tell your jokes that we can get on
Speaker 2: with this so we can explain, because I want to
Speaker 2: go into the little.
Speaker 3: Part of you where your son got it from. Finally
Speaker 3: showed a little bit. Okay, So why do cows.
Speaker 1: Wear bells because their horns don't work? I would say boo,
Speaker 1: but I think it was either that or why do
Speaker 1: chickens go to the gym to work on their pecks?
Speaker 1: Like that's what it was. That's what you should have
Speaker 1: came with that one.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna delete this that entire second, no, no say,
Speaker 2: and it's gonna come in with us saying, oh you
Speaker 2: should have went with that one, and nobody's gonna know
Speaker 2: what it is.
Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna say it next week on my rundown.
Speaker 3: No, just splice it it at the end, like oh
Speaker 3: it was that one disappointment will be stuck to the end.
Speaker 1: Another disappointed.
Speaker 2: So you you had your son with you at not
Speaker 2: very farm the Dad's on day webso one seventy eight.
Speaker 2: Back to the conversation of your son's retail.
Speaker 1: Last week he came. He came to California with me.
Speaker 1: I decided that I wanted to bring him and have
Speaker 1: him here while I worked. He's he was phenomenal. He
Speaker 1: did great all week. So Friday, light day at work, decided,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna go ahead and head over
Speaker 1: to Knotsberry Farms for half a day. And it was
Speaker 1: our first time for both of us, for me and him.
Speaker 1: So we go and we get on a couple easy rides,
Speaker 1: basic rides, right, nothing too special, the water ones, the
Speaker 1: one gold gold mining one or coal mining one or
Speaker 1: whatever the fuck it was. It was super racist, like
Speaker 1: so first off, it was real slow. You get in
Speaker 1: this cart, in this coal mining cart, and you start
Speaker 1: going through these tunnels and all of the animatronics were
Speaker 1: extremely racist and freaky like that. I'm dead serious like
Speaker 1: there was one There was one of a Chinese guy
Speaker 1: inside the mine and he was standing there with a
Speaker 1: stick of dynamite and he he was looked like he
Speaker 1: was pulled from a nineteen forties movie, black and white
Speaker 1: movie with the little mustache and everything, but the eyes
Speaker 1: were just horizontal line. But his face was kind of melted.
Speaker 1: So it was freaky. It was so scary, it was
Speaker 1: so weird. But then we decide we're going to do
Speaker 1: one more ride. It's called ghost Rider and not Spery Farms.
Speaker 1: If you've had if you've had an experience of going
Speaker 1: to any amusement park, they all have some type of
Speaker 1: rating system.
Speaker 2: Hold on, huh, hold on? Is it not Sperry Farms? Yes,
Speaker 2: are we in Mendela effect? I thought it was not
Speaker 2: Sperry Farm.
Speaker 1: Is it farm? Pretty sure? It's farms? Am I just crazy? Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'll look. So they have they have a rating system,
Speaker 1: and the ride ghost Rider is rated as one of
Speaker 1: their more intense rides. But he is tall enough, he
Speaker 1: is old enough, he is big enough to get on
Speaker 1: this ride. It takes off and we start going and
Speaker 1: you just hear him go, why are we going so high? Why?
Speaker 1: Why are we still going so high because it's legal
Speaker 1: feet and the fear sets in and then the bottom
Speaker 1: drops out of this roller coaster. And when I tell
Speaker 1: you that this kid's face was not the same, the
Speaker 1: entire ride is an understatement. He went full r dude,
Speaker 1: hard hard. He it looked like he was having a
Speaker 1: stroke through half of the like half his face was
Speaker 1: just just was just dead and you could just hear
Speaker 1: him going no, no, no, no no no no no
Speaker 1: no no no no no at one at one point.
Speaker 1: And then and then we get done with the ride
Speaker 1: and he's like, I don't like that. I don't know
Speaker 1: why I did that. Why did I choose to do that?
Speaker 1: Why did we do that? I was like, what's fun? Dude?
Speaker 1: I had a great time. Did you not have a
Speaker 1: good time? He's like, no, no, I did not. My
Speaker 1: head hurts, I don't like the way my body feels.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: And we get to the part where you see the
Speaker 1: picture and he just looked completely like.
Speaker 2: That's another statement that he looked like he had six
Speaker 2: extra chromosomes added to his body in his picture.
Speaker 1: Dude, it was.
Speaker 2: One of our listeners. Word I've already said it to him. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So there's at least one of.
Speaker 1: Three. Yeah, if anybody wants it, you're more than welcome
Speaker 1: to d MS and I'll send it to you. But uh,
Speaker 1: he promptly, he promptly was like, all right, I'm done.
Speaker 1: I want out of this part. I don't want like
Speaker 1: he immediately was scared to go on any other ride.
Speaker 1: He didn't want anything to do with anything else. He
Speaker 1: didn't even want to get in the car at that point.
Speaker 1: So we obviously, you know, sat in the car for
Speaker 1: a little while, sat in the parking lot and kind
Speaker 1: of let that that fear kick off and whatever vertigo
Speaker 1: he was having kind of shake out out, and then
Speaker 1: we got in the car, got gas, got him some
Speaker 1: ginger ale to kind of settle his stomach a little bit,
Speaker 1: and then we headed home. He was he was out
Speaker 1: within fifteen minutes of the drive home. Once he had
Speaker 1: some ginger ale in his stomach and he kind of
Speaker 1: settled out. But when he woke up, he said he
Speaker 1: had a great time and he would do it again.
Speaker 1: He just wouldn't do that right again. So that's good.
Speaker 2: I haven't been in I've only been an ospberry farm
Speaker 2: one time, and I was, oh no, no, I went
Speaker 2: I went in high school. I forgot no, that was
Speaker 2: six flags. I've only been in an ospberry farm once
Speaker 2: and I was like, fine.
Speaker 1: I highly recommend it. It was really fun. And then
Speaker 1: your your boy, in true idiot fashion, decided to go
Speaker 1: on the one day that they had a school function,
Speaker 1: which was like twenty thousand eighth graders there. Almost karate
Speaker 1: chopped one of them in the throat because they kept
Speaker 1: coming in this line. We were in this a pretty
Speaker 1: long wait at one of the river Rapids rides, and
Speaker 1: I saw this kid cut in line twice and he
Speaker 1: when he was doing it, him and a couple of
Speaker 1: friends with we're not cutting. We're just meeting with some
Speaker 1: but we have a friend up here. We're not cutting.
Speaker 1: And the third time they did it, I probably just
Speaker 1: stuck my hand out and was like, no, you're not
Speaker 1: get go back. You're not fucking doing this. We're not
Speaker 1: playing this game. Get in the back of the line.
Speaker 1: We're not playing this game. You don't have friends up there,
Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of here. Go And you know,
Speaker 1: a couple of people clapped, and a bunch of the
Speaker 1: other kids didn't like it, because, like I said, there
Speaker 1: were a ton of kids. I mean, if I if
Speaker 1: I had to guess, I would say there was probably
Speaker 1: about ten to twenty thousand kids there alone. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of kids, maybe forty thousand. Color those kids all
Speaker 1: eighth graders. They had eighth grade shirts on, like it
Speaker 1: was the color of their skin.
Speaker 2: I thought you asked that. I was like, wait, as
Speaker 2: I thought it all colored? Race and creep or what
Speaker 2: were the color of the kids?
Speaker 1: Making sure we're not a I'm not committing a hay
Speaker 1: crying like hey gets the best? Oh no, they were white.
Speaker 1: But they were white. Oh fair game than fucking white kids.
Speaker 1: Geez full kids but ed pieces of kids. But yeah, no,
Speaker 1: these ones were dead, Yeah they were. They were entitled,
Speaker 1: little privileged motherfuckers. Why are you guys cutting We have
Speaker 1: the fast passes? Oh daddy could buy you. Those who
Speaker 1: fast passes were expending. They're ninety bucks a pop. Alright,
Speaker 1: they damn But if you're only hitting one day, it
Speaker 1: might be well. So I will say this, I will
Speaker 1: see this, especially in a day like that. I knew,
Speaker 1: if I knew, I could have done what other people
Speaker 1: were doing, which is given my kid the fast pass
Speaker 1: and then just gone with him. They would have allowed
Speaker 1: they would have allowed you to just go with him
Speaker 1: because he's your son's I would have done I would
Speaker 1: have bought him the fast pass because because then it's
Speaker 1: forty five bucks apiece, and that's not that bad, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Wow, then you don't need to
Speaker 1: find somebody with a disability, yeah, or brook leg you know.
Speaker 1: I still think that that rent a tard would be
Speaker 1: a really good business. That's a true, dude. I think
Speaker 1: that's a phenomenal business venture that you should start. Could
Speaker 1: you just walking through Dinny jan with just I mean,
Speaker 1: all you're doing is just getting paid to sit there
Speaker 1: in a wheelchair act a little bit like could you?
Speaker 1: Could you? Could you imagine that being on your resume
Speaker 1: when you go for like one of your movie scenes.
Speaker 1: You know you're going for a movie audition, and it's
Speaker 1: a headshot of you in a wheelchair for chob responsibilities,
Speaker 1: what full retard. It's a teared system.
Speaker 2: So like, for for one hundred dollars, I'll act slightly autistic.
Speaker 2: For four hundred dollars, you'll get you'll get a pretty
Speaker 2: good charge. For one thousand dollars, I will literally lick
Speaker 2: every window.
Speaker 1: We podcast five five thousand dollars, will be simple jack
Speaker 1: the whole day and pretend I'll beat off in front
Speaker 1: of people as a tip. As a tip, I might
Speaker 1: molest a pigeon or two.
Speaker 2: Uh Stone, let's go with you, buddy, You're you're the
Speaker 2: honor the honor person here that the honorer, the honorary.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So this week dog uh Friday, my mom flew in,
Speaker 3: picked her up, me, the girlfriend, the kid, and the mom.
Speaker 3: We drove down to Phoenix and we I had rented
Speaker 3: near BnB for the weekend with a pool. Saturday got
Speaker 3: lit as fuck and just swim in the pool the
Speaker 3: whole day. Thankfully I didn't drown. I did have like
Speaker 3: a big ass, like little baseball bat looking raft shove
Speaker 3: up my ass a few times, which I'm not saying
Speaker 3: was a bad thing, but it was just interesting trying
Speaker 3: not to shoot yourself in the water. It was a
Speaker 3: really interesting apparatus thing was But we had fun. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And then Sunday unfortunately got rained out.
Speaker 1: Damn it.
Speaker 3: I heard about that, so we couldn't we couldn't spend
Speaker 3: I'm the pool. But on Sunday, the whole reason we
Speaker 3: went to Phoenix was because I went and walked to
Speaker 3: my graduation for you of a went to the the
Speaker 3: arena that was there, and yeah, my fucking advisor was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's gonna be like an hour of speeches from people.
Speaker 1: They're going to come up call your names.
Speaker 3: It'll be like an hour long, and then there'll be
Speaker 3: like a bunch of like doctorate speeches at the end
Speaker 3: of it, and you can just leave before those, like
Speaker 3: after they call your name and you walk, just go.
Speaker 1: And I was like, cool, how's it going to be?
Speaker 3: Went there and I got there like not necessarily late, right,
Speaker 3: Like you had to show up between seven and nine,
Speaker 3: But if you went the day before and you get
Speaker 3: your little car that says what you're graduating with, what
Speaker 3: your name is, you could just show up at eight, right,
Speaker 3: showed up in eight fifteen.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, no big deal. Went to the back.
Speaker 3: They paraded us through the back all the way to
Speaker 3: our seats, and I was a fourth row from the back,
Speaker 3: and this graduation had like a thousand and names, right,
Speaker 3: and I'm all the way in the fucking back and
Speaker 3: I'm sitting back there like all right, well, it's just
Speaker 3: an hour, you know, I should probably be about thirty
Speaker 3: minutes in like we'll be fine.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: Two hours later, Like I was sitting there for two
Speaker 3: fucking hours, that's from. It was two hours of name calling, right,
Speaker 3: and they like called us up. And it was like
Speaker 3: ten minutes after they called us up, they were done. Right,
Speaker 3: It's like two hours and ten minutes. Yeah, two hours
Speaker 3: of sitting there and that fucking got damn folding chair
Speaker 3: and I was sitting there like, God damn it, my
Speaker 3: fucking advisor let me down the wrong fucking path here.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 3: I was so tempted to get up and go cut mine,
Speaker 3: but apparently someone else tried to do that, and they
Speaker 3: like sent them back to their seat, and it was
Speaker 3: like embarrassing for them, and I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 3: get to.
Speaker 1: The back of the line. Get to the back of
Speaker 1: the line. I'm black. I don't give a fuck. Just
Speaker 1: like a bus to you. Get back to bus.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: It was really interesting though, was the amount of people
Speaker 3: that were there that were not within twenty.
Speaker 1: Three years old. The majority of the people graduating were
Speaker 1: like my age or I.
Speaker 2: Was going to ask you that because I feel like
Speaker 2: that's the thing now, that's the the majority of people
Speaker 2: are going to be older people graduating.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and especially because it's it's online. Everybody came from
Speaker 3: all over the nation and over the globe too. Like
Speaker 3: a bunch of Armed Forces were there because that's like
Speaker 3: one of the college preferred choices for the Armed Forces, as.
Speaker 1: You of a for their online program. So it was
Speaker 1: like pretty cool.
Speaker 3: Got to meet a bunch of people, a bunch of
Speaker 3: different backgrounds, different states, different places.
Speaker 1: Shot the ship with a few people. I walked up
Speaker 1: to the.
Speaker 3: Stage and they like took your picture a couple of times,
Speaker 3: and then you get up there and you go shake
Speaker 3: whoever's hand. And when I walked up, I think it
Speaker 3: was the like the dean of like the Social Side
Speaker 3: something like that. They'd like a bunch of those fuckers
Speaker 3: up there, and they're dressed in their fucking like wizard
Speaker 3: robes and shit. And when I went to shake this
Speaker 3: dude's hand, he grabbed my hand and immediately yanked me
Speaker 3: towards the stairs like fuck off, like and I was like,
Speaker 3: I was like, I trust me, You're not the only
Speaker 3: one that wants us over. I sat in the fourth
Speaker 3: fucking row from the back, eat my dink. I at
Speaker 3: least get to have this fucking mom.
Speaker 1: Give me the sorting hat I want to the house.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I went up. We were like showing
Speaker 1: the jumble Tron and shits like.
Speaker 3: I went up to the camerage kind of waved and
Speaker 3: looked at my family and just kind of waved at
Speaker 3: them and stuff, and then I walked down my supervisor,
Speaker 3: my old one actually just graduated with her degree too,
Speaker 3: and so we met up and took a selfie and
Speaker 3: we're like, holy shit, we gotta drop this in teams
Speaker 3: chat and say fuck you, and all those people had
Speaker 3: just started ha ha ha. We're done because we were
Speaker 3: part of this group chat. We're all going to school
Speaker 3: together and stuff. But it was a good time, and
Speaker 3: then went back to the airbanb and just kind of
Speaker 3: hung out outside. It wasn't like cold, you know, it
Speaker 3: was just warm. It was like eighty five outside, just
Speaker 3: raining like crazy.
Speaker 1: So we just sat.
Speaker 3: Outside and just chilling and hanging out and having a
Speaker 3: good time and catching up. Drove back today, however, my mom,
Speaker 3: my mom, got a return ticket back today and she
Speaker 3: was at the other airport and Phoenix, which is.
Speaker 1: Way on the east ship Mesa Gateway. Yeah, Masa Gateway.
Speaker 1: Oh it's strikes again. Yeah, yeah, years ago. God, it
Speaker 1: is hilarious. Pay attention. Yeah, we left it. It's so tiny.
Speaker 1: I thought it was way bigger.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, but we we left it at like nine five, right,
Speaker 3: drove the hour it was to get over there because
Speaker 3: we were in Glendale, like right next to the arena. Right,
Speaker 3: took an hour an hour to get over there. We
Speaker 3: had some cafe rio dropped her off, and then we
Speaker 3: had to drive the hour back and then from where
Speaker 3: we were it's still another four and a half hours. Yes,
Speaker 3: so yeah, what we started as nine forty five ended
Speaker 3: with six pm, like getting home finally.
Speaker 1: Also, there was a point where I don't know what
Speaker 1: they were driving on the road. It was something fucking massive,
Speaker 1: but for a good stretch we were all going twenty
Speaker 1: miles an hour for a little while. Yeah, that sucked.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck it was.
Speaker 3: But it had a giant like police barricade with it
Speaker 3: going through and I'm like, I'm like, right, exactly, build
Speaker 3: a spaceship.
Speaker 1: Whatever the fuck it was, But enough about that shit,
Speaker 1: No me, how's you weak? It was pretty good.
Speaker 2: I was gonna Dome was also going to be at
Speaker 2: the graduation, and Dome's life changed because of having to
Speaker 2: be in in California, making that Cheddar all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: and I was going to be there, and then my
Speaker 2: father in law, his mom had passed away, and then.
Speaker 1: My wife was like, well, we gotta go.
Speaker 2: And I was like, she didn't go to our wedding.
Speaker 2: Why do we have to go to her funeral? True
Speaker 2: dick fashion, right, yeah, And she's like, well, it's not
Speaker 2: really for hers.
Speaker 1: For Marvin. I'm like, okay, fair enough. I'm like, we
Speaker 1: can make that happen. We'll go. Like, where's it at?
Speaker 2: So she sends me she text She texts me where
Speaker 2: the name of the town she wants to be buried in?
Speaker 2: And I just responded, where the fuck is that? And
Speaker 2: then she sent a screenshot of the map. So then
Speaker 2: I just pulled it up on my map more and
Speaker 2: a half hours from here from Kingman, which I was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I've never been to that side of Arizona past Flagstaff.
Speaker 2: I've been down to Tucson, so I've been on the
Speaker 2: eastern side of Arizona, just on the southern side, not
Speaker 2: on the north.
Speaker 1: Vastly different, vastly different.
Speaker 2: So I was like, whatever little family trip, we're all going, right,
Speaker 2: we can do that. And so we go, and the
Speaker 2: plan was so we went Friday, got there at two,
Speaker 2: and then we stayed in the hotel, but we got
Speaker 2: there too because they had a pool so we could use.
Speaker 1: The pool hang out, and then it was the On Saturday.
Speaker 2: It was supposed to be funeral or viewing at nine,
Speaker 2: funeral at eleven, and then go to the cemetery, Barrier
Speaker 2: come back or not Burrier just put her in the hole.
Speaker 2: Then they come back later and fill it and then
Speaker 2: go back to the church, eat lunch. Then we would
Speaker 2: be on the road to two. Well, in weather fashion
Speaker 2: in Clay Springs, the weather was actually nice, but then
Speaker 2: when we got to the part of the cemetery it
Speaker 2: got super super windy, so they had delayed it because
Speaker 2: it just was like insanely windy. And then when it
Speaker 2: got better, so like we came back we could do it.
Speaker 2: And then everybody's standing around and you just hear somebody go, no,
Speaker 2: they didn't include those in the van, And I was
Speaker 2: just like, Okay, now I gotta pay attention, like I
Speaker 2: got to hyper fixate to hear what they're talking about.
Speaker 2: The mortuary or whatever who brought her all the way
Speaker 2: that way forgot to put the straps to lower the
Speaker 2: coffin into the hole. So you had a bunch of
Speaker 2: people that were scouring their trucks and vans to find
Speaker 2: rope and ratchet straps.
Speaker 1: Awesome.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 6: At one point the coffin was tilted because the problem
Speaker 6: was the problem was whoever fucking dug this hole literally
Speaker 6: put the dirt right next to the hole.
Speaker 2: So the people on the one side or on a
Speaker 2: dirt hill trying to balance and then also hold this coffin.
Speaker 2: And I mean, mind you, she was a small lady,
Speaker 2: she's like ninety five years old, right, but the coffin right,
Speaker 2: So you had all these tough ass cowboys trying to
Speaker 2: balance this thing. And at one point the flowers fall
Speaker 2: in off the coffin into the and I was just like,
Speaker 2: if this thing opens, people, shit.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like the.
Speaker 3: Music at the end of like a Curb Your Enthusiasm
Speaker 3: episode to be playing while this is happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So.
Speaker 2: But she ended up getting laid down. Fine, it went good.
Speaker 2: We went back, had lunch. Well then because of that,
Speaker 2: we checked at the hotel because I was like, listen,
Speaker 2: I don't feel like driving right now, and getting back
Speaker 2: at getting back at home at eleven thirty at night, Like,
Speaker 2: I just don't feel like that, Like I'm at a
Speaker 2: position that I don't want to do that. And so
Speaker 2: we checked at the hotel and because the town we
Speaker 2: were staying in was like six thousand people, of course
Speaker 2: there was vacancy. Yeah, you can extend your stay. So
Speaker 2: my my in law is extended their stay as well,
Speaker 2: and my sister in law came down. She didn't bring
Speaker 2: her kids, just her and we decided, well, since we're
Speaker 2: staying on the way home tomorrow, we can leave at
Speaker 2: you know, nine ten o'clock and we'll we'll hit up
Speaker 2: the We're going to hit the not the actual petrified forest,
Speaker 2: but they have a shop in a town called Whole
Speaker 2: Book Wholebrook that's a petrified wood shop and it's actually really,
Speaker 2: really fucking cool. And then we're gonna hit up the
Speaker 2: meteor Crater. I've never seen it, and I was like,
Speaker 2: but it's on the way. So I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: let's do that. So we get we get our breakfast
Speaker 2: that morning, we get everything packed. I pull up the car,
Speaker 2: we packed the car and uh, I pulled my car
Speaker 2: the way. Marvin brings his truck as my father in
Speaker 2: law brings his truck in, shuts it off, pack all
Speaker 2: their stuff. Cool, let's go turns the key dead. Is
Speaker 2: a fucking door sh But it wasn't the battery. You
Speaker 2: could hear the clicking, and I was like, oh man,
Speaker 2: the worst part is he just had the starter replaced
Speaker 2: in the last like three to six months. So we're
Speaker 2: standing around trying to right next to them at dex
Speaker 2: to the hotels and AutoZone. So I run over there
Speaker 2: and say, hey, do you have a can you bring
Speaker 2: your diagnostic thing over there? And they're like, yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 2: But it's a Sunday, right, and you're talking to town
Speaker 2: of six thousand people. So now we're looking up like
Speaker 2: mobile mechanics. The lady at the front desk. The lady
Speaker 2: at the front desk goes, I'll call my ex husband.
Speaker 1: Somebody ows somebody this.
Speaker 2: This dude rolls up, fucking jeans, boots, no T shirt,
Speaker 2: has got a tan a tank top, tan line tattoos
Speaker 2: from like nineteen.
Speaker 1: Eighty nine, smell like marble.
Speaker 2: He's driving like an O four Tahoe with no front bumper.
Speaker 2: But you know, like this fucker knows car, Yes, his
Speaker 2: car shitty, He knows what's up, right, So Marvin's like,
Speaker 2: you guys should just go ahead, like, don't wait for us,
Speaker 2: because this might be and this may be an all
Speaker 2: day thing, right, we may be stuck here another day,
Speaker 2: and we're like, okay, we're gonna go. So like Stone's
Speaker 2: travel today, my travel yesterday was we ended up leaving
Speaker 2: it about ten o'clock and I think we pulled into
Speaker 2: our house at five thirty. But we stopped at the
Speaker 2: meteor Crater and we spent like an hour and a
Speaker 2: half there. So we actually stopped for the somebody, which
Speaker 2: I would say, like that was really fucking cool for
Speaker 2: being a big hole in the fucking ground. Their little
Speaker 2: museum was kind of cool. Definitely worth checking out. But man,
Speaker 2: this is a weekend of just like shit upon shit
Speaker 2: back and forth like whatever. But I will say I
Speaker 2: think I sent you guys in the chat a picture
Speaker 2: of barbecue from Friday night, and that's the best barbecue
Speaker 2: I've had in the state of Arizona, like really hands down.
Speaker 2: And obviously I haven't hit every barbecue joint, and I'm
Speaker 2: sure there is something that's better, probably multiple things, but
Speaker 2: from all the barbecue I've had in Arizona, ain't none
Speaker 2: better than that little in Snowflake, Arizona.
Speaker 1: Man, that place doesn't surprise me. It's filled with it's
Speaker 1: filled with you know, not to be that guy, but
Speaker 1: it's filled with those type of people. Right, It's filled
Speaker 1: with people who know how to barbecue. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: so there are it's not racist. It's not racist because
Speaker 1: it's white people. White people are one of the last
Speaker 1: people I would trust with barbecue. I'm saying. I mean
Speaker 1: that they don't have a whole lot, they don't have
Speaker 1: a whole lot of food places in that small ass city.
Speaker 3: They have to barbecue, right, So yeah, I wouldn't trust
Speaker 3: white people with barbecue either, becausewitz.
Speaker 1: Exactly the last time a bunch of white people got
Speaker 1: to get you know, you're eating people fucking cannibalism, Like
Speaker 1: we're it. You were idiots, dude, We're the last people
Speaker 1: you want to trust in general.
Speaker 2: One of the things that's worth checking out. I didn't
Speaker 2: know this till my sister in law told us on
Speaker 2: the on part of the drive stone you need to
Speaker 2: look up one of the one of the there's this
Speaker 2: building in Snowflake And.
Speaker 1: We were like, what the hell is this? It's like
Speaker 1: this huge fucking greenhouse. Oh, it's only like the largest
Speaker 1: supplier of medical marijuana made in the United States then
Speaker 1: in fucking snowflake Arizona. Just look it up sometimes so
Speaker 1: you can read about it's pretty fucking cool. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's where that's at. But yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 2: It was a good weekend, long story to wrap that up,
Speaker 2: but there was a lot of events that happened. We
Speaker 2: almost had a body fallout of a coffin, had a
Speaker 2: truck that wouldn't start. Oh, the best part was it
Speaker 2: actually wasn't the starter. It was a fucking wire that
Speaker 2: was from the battery. Was like, that connects to the starter. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so checks I mean, good news, bad right, But that's
Speaker 2: the last thing. You're four and a half hours from home.
Speaker 2: You're ready to like get on the road and get
Speaker 2: going and your car doesn't starts.
Speaker 1: Miserable dude, if it was me out of flipping my
Speaker 1: fucking vehicle. Yes, speaking of flipping, let's do something different.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to for our segment for these this episode,
Speaker 1: I wanted to do like a movie theme Devan like
Speaker 1: in movie. Lately, I've been watching a lot of TV
Speaker 1: because I've been stuck in hotel rooms, you know. And
Speaker 1: one thing that I thought about was taking a movie
Speaker 1: and flipping it and putting it into a different genre.
Speaker 1: So like you've got Scream, and instead of Scream being
Speaker 1: a horror movie, what if Scream was like a love story?
Speaker 1: You know, how would that movie play out? And so
Speaker 1: I asked you guys to come up with like three
Speaker 1: movies that you could flip me on the flip on
Speaker 1: its side and turn it into something else, right, and
Speaker 1: then we would kind of bullshit about it a little bit. Okay,
Speaker 1: So who's going on the first? So the first one
Speaker 1: that I that I've actually always wanted to see, and
Speaker 1: I've had this one stuck in my mind for a
Speaker 1: long time, is Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, right, And
Speaker 1: I think Charlie in the Chocolate Factory would be an
Speaker 1: amazing horror movie where they take like Willy Wonka and
Speaker 1: even Charlie and they have them kind of team up
Speaker 1: and they kill all of these kids and their parents
Speaker 1: and then like turn them into fucking uh candy, you know,
Speaker 1: like they add them to the candy and whatnot, and
Speaker 1: and and like bompas are their little fucking gremlins. You
Speaker 1: could make them like little Gremlins and.
Speaker 3: Ship yeah, you know, and the chocolate kind of sounds
Speaker 3: like what they're doing right now with like the Disney Reimagine.
Speaker 1: One that they go to the similar never I think
Speaker 1: I think that'd be a really fun movie that, you know,
Speaker 1: the right in the right hands could really be an
Speaker 1: absolute fucking amazing thriller, horror slasher type movie, would be
Speaker 1: really psychedelic. You could have some super psychedelic like the Tunnel,
Speaker 1: you know, you could really turn that into something wild.
Speaker 1: Think it'd be kind of cool.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, I see what you're putting down. So
Speaker 2: one of mine also, I would like to change to
Speaker 2: a horror movie. And this is a movie we've discussed
Speaker 2: multiple times for different reasons on this podcast, and I'm
Speaker 2: gonna go with Heavyweights and the kids go to fat
Speaker 2: Camp to come to find out that instead of fat
Speaker 2: camp to have fun or lose weight, they're actually being
Speaker 2: poisoned and then hunted. And so the counselors who are
Speaker 2: in shape are actually hunting them for court. And that
Speaker 2: is actually what Heavyweights knew.
Speaker 1: Michael Myers fucking origin story or not, Michael Myers, Jason Jason, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I like it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's some wild ship. I actually really liked this
Speaker 2: segment when you sent it in the rundown.
Speaker 1: I was like, this could be fun.
Speaker 2: This could be fun like simply like you could expound
Speaker 2: a whole lot, or you could keep it really simple
Speaker 2: and just let people let let their minds stick.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: The image that came to mind was, but he's doing
Speaker 1: like the dodgeball cobras. He's going through the forest and
Speaker 1: then it's just this fat kid shivering, trying to fucking
Speaker 1: hide and it set a large same buddy, he's like bloody.
Speaker 3: You guys remember later when they had that stump and
Speaker 3: they were hiding food in the stump and.
Speaker 1: They were paying them. What if like a kid reaches
Speaker 1: in there and fucking bear trap arm gone, And that's
Speaker 1: how the whole horror thing kind of kicks off. Oh
Speaker 1: to be phenomenal. Oh love it. I love it. And
Speaker 1: then the blob instead of the blob, it's just like
Speaker 1: spikes like it.
Speaker 2: Just no, no, the blobs reeled, but they're getting ejected
Speaker 2: into alligator infested waters like that.
Speaker 1: It'd be dope. What do you got, stump? That's a
Speaker 1: that's a really good he was busy graduated. He's got
Speaker 1: an excuse. You know, he's got an excuse.
Speaker 3: Actually wasn't on the list, or at least the list
Speaker 3: that I got. I didn't see that on there at all.
Speaker 1: How did you graduate? Did not see it? He was
Speaker 1: busy graduating everybody. I was busy graduating education system in
Speaker 1: this country. God damn it. How about how about I
Speaker 1: go again? Okay, so I got one. I got one
Speaker 1: United ninety three.
Speaker 3: But that plane that went down from nine to eleven,
Speaker 3: we changed it to like a comedy like Bill and
Speaker 3: Ted or Harold and Kumar, and it's just these two
Speaker 3: college guys that have to just just half you know,
Speaker 3: just happened to be of like air of descent, and
Speaker 3: they're just gonna go ahead and take some mushrooms on
Speaker 3: an airplane ride and ended up crashing against the ground
Speaker 3: because they believe the ground turned into a space monster
Speaker 3: and they had to save humanity.
Speaker 1: For fox sake. It turns into it turns like this
Speaker 1: is the end where they got too high and they
Speaker 1: actually never dis Yeah, it turns into an entire electure.
Speaker 1: All right, all right, I got a comedy as well,
Speaker 1: actually the Green Mile. So instead of instead of John Henry,
Speaker 1: you know, going through this these trials and tribulations and
Speaker 1: it being this like weird little mystery. It's him trying
Speaker 1: to escape, but he's just fumbling at every turn, and
Speaker 1: so like it's just NonStop jokes and the guards are
Speaker 1: making fun of them, and he's literally just he's constantly
Speaker 1: doing everything he can to try and escape. Rather than
Speaker 1: prove his innocence or you know, show this power that
Speaker 1: he has, he's just he's just trying to escape. It's
Speaker 1: just him trying to escape the whole fucking time. I
Speaker 1: think that would be hilarious. See this giant, six foot eight,
Speaker 1: fucking black dude, you know, who's slightly retarded, trying to
Speaker 1: escape prison. But he still has his powers. He just
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to control them, you know, Okay, whatever
Speaker 1: those powers are. Sure. Sure.
Speaker 2: I have another horror movie that is not a horror movie,
Speaker 2: and this one is a completely different story. It's the
Speaker 2: Wolf of Wall Street. It's actually a wolf that is
Speaker 2: just killing people on Wall Street. So it's a wolf
Speaker 2: that was raised in the subways, eating rats, and now
Speaker 2: it's gotten tired and gotten a taste for human flesh,
Speaker 2: and so it goes after it goes after Humans at
Speaker 2: Night on Wall Street.
Speaker 1: And that's the Wall Street what if it's what if
Speaker 1: it's another horror film?
Speaker 3: If it's another horror movie and it like it's like
Speaker 3: playing wolf and like one of the guys in the
Speaker 3: office is like killing everyone.
Speaker 1: That's good Wolf. That's a good spin.
Speaker 2: Like it's actually somebody that's a really good spin, a
Speaker 2: werewolf on Wall Street that's actually killing his his cos.
Speaker 1: That's a great all right, So my bad.
Speaker 3: I actually had episode one seventy four pulled up, and
Speaker 3: that's why I was like, it's not a fucking on here, No,
Speaker 3: it is, my bad.
Speaker 1: My first one was actually four episodes.
Speaker 3: My first one was actually a Schindler's List and it
Speaker 3: was turned into a porn and call it Shandler's the
Speaker 3: real thing.
Speaker 1: Shout out.
Speaker 3: Shout out to Orgasmo from from nineteen eighty five to
Speaker 3: Trade Parker. Uh No, another one I have on here
Speaker 3: was Grandma's Boy. But it's a drama and it's about
Speaker 3: like this high school kid that like is like kind
Speaker 3: of a flunk and nobody kind of likes him, and
Speaker 3: he goes to live with his grandma for the summer,
Speaker 3: and uh, his Grandma's like like secretly like a huge
Speaker 3: like pothead, and she like connects with him on like
Speaker 3: weed level, and he's like finally coming out of his
Speaker 3: shell and he's feeling like a normal person. And then
Speaker 3: she chokes on like a gummy and she dies and
Speaker 3: the family is like, you're a drug addict and you
Speaker 3: killed your grandma, and like it gets even worse for him.
Speaker 1: That would turn into a sad, sad movie, real quick,
Speaker 1: sad movie, real fast. I like that, though I would
Speaker 1: watch Hits for Gigi. I like that. My last one
Speaker 1: is actually Happy Gilmore, but you turn it into an
Speaker 1: m night shamal on like mystery thriller kind of movie
Speaker 1: where Happy is actually dead and Chubbs is his like
Speaker 1: guide that's trying to guide him into the afterlife. So
Speaker 1: like you add like an eerie theme to it, where
Speaker 1: like maybe something's always a miss in the like through
Speaker 1: the whole movie, there's always something that's just a miss.
Speaker 1: There's something that's wrong, but he Happy can't put his
Speaker 1: finger on it right, and it wasn't really It wasn't
Speaker 1: really his grandpa that died, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: It was him. Okay, it's a good twist. I think
Speaker 1: that'd be kind of good. I like it.
Speaker 2: My last one is a silent film, and it's it's
Speaker 2: turning into a silent film. It originally is a horror film,
Speaker 2: h and it's The Quiet Place and it's literally just
Speaker 2: a fucking quiet little prairie with two people that sit
Speaker 2: there and farm all day long, but no word is spoken,
Speaker 2: and it's it's just the movie a quiet place.
Speaker 1: That's it can every once in a while you just
Speaker 1: write like an alien crawling around in the background. Like
Speaker 1: it's like it's like a spot that you know, like
Speaker 1: the spot that magazines right where you just like, oh,
Speaker 1: look there's that, or oh there's that the I spy
Speaker 1: just an I spy movie? Did you call this spot that?
Speaker 2: I played along like yeah, like I have no fucking
Speaker 2: clue what you're talking about. I've ever heard of a
Speaker 2: spot that. And then he said I spy and I'm like, oh, that's.
Speaker 1: What he meant. Same fucking thing checks out. Yeah, whatever,
Speaker 1: you got another one Stoned? Did you have one more stone? Yeah?
Speaker 1: My last one was The Sandlot. Remake it into a
Speaker 1: horror movie. It's like, we're ready for fucking Halloween already. Man.
Speaker 3: Just I know it's so much it's so much fun
Speaker 3: just coming up with, especially like horror movie.
Speaker 1: Ideas, you know, so they're so easy to spin, right,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, I could see I could see the
Speaker 1: Sandlot being a horror But who's the main villain? The
Speaker 1: dog Squint?
Speaker 3: Squints betrayed everybody it's been it's been his dog this
Speaker 3: whole time.
Speaker 2: No, the villains, the villain is the is actually the dogs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a spin off of the actual real story where
Speaker 2: he the dog kills kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Squint.
Speaker 3: Turns out it's Squint's dad, and Squints was like, I
Speaker 3: actually took that dog because he was oppressive, like or Squint.
Speaker 1: Squints gets jealous of Wendy and he's killing everybody at
Speaker 1: the pool who's trying to hit on Wendy. And the scene,
Speaker 1: the scene where puke because of the the chew is
Speaker 1: actually him poisoning them. Oh good one gonna kill all
Speaker 1: his friends. Yeah, I'm down. I can dig it. I
Speaker 1: can dig it. Hm, you guys won't take a break?
Speaker 1: Yeah no, not yet. No, No I don't. I'm sure
Speaker 1: I will in a second, but just write this second.
Speaker 1: Do you know what the difference between jam and Marmaladar?
Speaker 1: You can't jam, you're you can't marmalade, you're dick in
Speaker 1: a jar. I was gonna say pigeon, but yeah, close enough.
Speaker 2: We can take a break. We can take a break now.
Speaker 2: On that note, on that, welcome back to Channel the News.
Speaker 2: I'm your host, squirt about him joining me later, Chip,
Speaker 2: sell it quick and storm a blowing. In our first story,
Speaker 2: a boss that a sexual wellness startup orders staff to
Speaker 2: have sex to relieve tension, so the court hears. Executives
Speaker 2: at an orgasmic meditation startup were forced their staff to
Speaker 2: have sex with each other in an attempt to relieve
Speaker 2: the tension between them, So a federal trial had heard
Speaker 2: one taste founder Nicole can't pronounce her last name, but
Speaker 2: she's fifty seven and smoking fucking hot. A former head
Speaker 2: of sales, Rachel, can't pronounce her name, but it ends
Speaker 2: with wits, so she must be Jewish forty four. I'm
Speaker 2: guessing she's the fat one that's less attractive. They were
Speaker 2: charged with one count of forced labor conspiracy after they
Speaker 2: forced tried forcing their employees to have sex with one another.
Speaker 2: And all I'm saying around here with Channel OFY News
Speaker 2: is when do we get to have sex with our producer.
Speaker 2: This is some bullshit going on. Strike Chip, are you there?
Speaker 1: God damn squirt mud bottom. It is good to hear
Speaker 1: your voice.
Speaker 3: Yes, if everyone in my work bay slept with each other,
Speaker 3: they might have a body count of zero because it's
Speaker 3: just me and this van.
Speaker 1: Anyways, my shitbag name of the wake is going to
Speaker 1: be Blake Lively. Blake Lively took one of the world's
Speaker 1: most sacred treasures away from us. That was Ryan Reynolds.
Speaker 3: Now we cannot look at Ryan without seeing him tremble
Speaker 3: from anxiety. Has everyone else on the cast of whatever
Speaker 3: fucking movie she was in? Because I don't give a
Speaker 3: shit about that movie. He's trembling in anxiety as well,
Speaker 3: because this cunt straight up took the world and said,
Speaker 3: you know what, I'm gonna make shit movies like The
Speaker 3: Green Lantern with coincidentally, Ryan Reynolds. But he's gotten better Deadpool.
Speaker 3: Good shit, good shit. For anyone's available for to come
Speaker 3: around on Friday night. I'm available because I live in
Speaker 3: a van down by the river by myself and well
Speaker 3: Chris Rawley died.
Speaker 1: May Chris. Anyways, check back to you, fuck Blake things.
Speaker 2: I would love to do fuck Blake Lively storm of blowing.
Speaker 2: Speaking of blowing, the producer, what do you got for us?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, loo guys. Yeah, uh, you guys don't have
Speaker 5: sex with your coworkers.
Speaker 1: Uh scuirtly, Bob the camera man over here, he'd be
Speaker 1: fucking me all the time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the fucking idiot. He gets too close with the
Speaker 4: fucking camera. He hits me in the head with it.
Speaker 4: I got fucking four lumps on my forehead. Dumb some bitch. Anyway,
Speaker 4: you guys, you guys see these volcanos all over the
Speaker 4: world being like exploding and shit. You guys, ever wonder
Speaker 4: what it takes for for like a volcano to erupting
Speaker 4: and whatnot. I looked it up, and I guess it's maga,
Speaker 4: which is molten rock, maltine rock. It builds up under
Speaker 4: the ground in the chambers of secrets, along with gases
Speaker 4: from the Earth's farts and stuff. And then like after
Speaker 4: a little while, Uh, there's something that happens, like a
Speaker 4: trigger or something, so like somebody probably talks about feminism
Speaker 4: or some shit, and uh and the bamboom, you know,
Speaker 4: baby shit, fuck Earth, Earth is popping like a pimple
Speaker 4: on miss Jackson's asshole.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 5: Uh, we've had twelve new eruptions in this last year
Speaker 5: so far, uh, since January. And I'm not saying it's
Speaker 5: dan to the earth or what, but I guess when
Speaker 5: the maga is erupting.
Speaker 1: Hm.
Speaker 5: Anyways, Uh, I guess the West coast is gonna be
Speaker 5: kind of warm with some rain all week, but no
Speaker 5: Maga eruptions here.
Speaker 1: It back, you guys who blew the top off that story.
Speaker 1: Huh uh.
Speaker 2: In my last story, Man Cooks is Chihuahua. An Alabama
Speaker 2: pet owner, is facing charges after he confesses to putting
Speaker 2: his dog in the oven alive to stop it from barking.
Speaker 2: When asked what happened, he said, well, the Chinese people
Speaker 2: can do it and serve it. So I figured, why
Speaker 2: not mean?
Speaker 1: I mean I fucking told Freddy not to do that again.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, it's cats, not fucking dogs. He don't listen whatever.
Speaker 2: He got tired of hearing roll Tide bark, so he
Speaker 2: put roll tied into the oven. But for channelty news, Uh,
Speaker 2: I'm your host, squirt, my bottom chip sel a quick
Speaker 2: storm of blowing. We'll catch you next time.
Speaker 1: Peace out. It's kind of wild that there's a ton
Speaker 1: of eruptions all over the world. I think they're kind
Speaker 1: of cool.
Speaker 2: I feel like every day on the news you're seeing
Speaker 2: like all this volcanic activity, earthquake activity.
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, it's like, uh, can you guys wait
Speaker 3: a couple hundred years, let our family's lines play out,
Speaker 3: and then you know, after a certain amount, you know,
Speaker 3: like like after five family lines, you're like, yeah, you're
Speaker 3: my lineage.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, yeah, give me a hundo,
Speaker 1: Like give me a hundred give me a just get past,
Speaker 1: get past my kids, kids, and then we're golden. You
Speaker 1: don't even know them. Yeah, them kids, right, they come
Speaker 1: up to the afterlife and they're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're my great great great great great great great great
Speaker 1: great great great grandfather. The fuck up in here with
Speaker 1: the ship, bitch, speaking of kids, That's exactly what I
Speaker 1: would say.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know what, you know, it's about ended
Speaker 2: times when you have like when you when you have
Speaker 2: listeners of dads on dayquo that are still popping out
Speaker 2: getting ready to pop out kids the next night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, late
Speaker 1: that one. If you if your age is fifty five
Speaker 1: and you divide it by five, and that's how many
Speaker 1: kids you have. You should probably put a different lock
Speaker 1: on your door and by locking me and have a
Speaker 1: history to me. Yeah yeah, wild shit kids. Uh, what
Speaker 1: are some movies you guys like to watch with your kids?
Speaker 1: You guys, Debbie does Dallas. I was thinking of because,
Speaker 1: like I realized, I realized that I don't have too
Speaker 1: many movies that I sit down and like routinely watch
Speaker 1: again and again with my kids, like we have. We
Speaker 1: have a tent. We have a tendency to just kind
Speaker 1: of cycle through like new movies and things like that.
Speaker 1: We do seasonal movies like the Santa Claus, Harry Potter,
Speaker 1: you know, the Christmas Story, things like that. There's there's
Speaker 1: really only like two movies that we sit down and
Speaker 1: kind of watch over and over again sometimes and one
Speaker 1: of them is not even a movie. So I was
Speaker 1: wondering if you guys have those like regulars. Ever since
Speaker 1: my kids were no longer like tiny kids like yours, Jordan,
Speaker 1: like your girls, we just don't watch movies over and
Speaker 1: over again. See.
Speaker 2: I think that's where I'm at in the stage of
Speaker 2: of life. Is you know that my four year old
Speaker 2: she when she gets onto something, that's all she wants
Speaker 2: to watch. So it's like just rinse wash repeat, rinse
Speaker 2: wash repeat. But she's she has been for a while
Speaker 2: now and still is really in the Harry Potter. So
Speaker 2: it kind of falls back into Harry Potter, which I'm
Speaker 2: all about because with that many movies you can pick
Speaker 2: up things you didn't pick up before, like just little things,
Speaker 2: little tiny things, which is cool. But she likes there's
Speaker 2: some shows she likes watching. My little One's too little
Speaker 2: like her thing right now is you know, like missus
Speaker 2: Rachel and like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And then my son, My son and I are like
Speaker 2: drastically different when it comes to ourself. Like he there's
Speaker 2: some things that he'll come out and say, oh I
Speaker 2: watched this, and I'll laugh like, oh yeah. But like
Speaker 2: I tried to have him watch Tropic Thunder a couple
Speaker 2: of weeks back. He's like, yeah, I couldn't get into it.
Speaker 2: I'm like the fuck out of my house, fucking piece
Speaker 2: of shit. She'd have sent you with your mom surprises
Speaker 2: for him.
Speaker 1: He's he's he's really an anime. Uh And I'm I
Speaker 1: am not, I never have been, never will be. It's
Speaker 1: just not my thing.
Speaker 2: But he loves anime and loves all of it. But
Speaker 2: we try to find common ground and watch some stuff together.
Speaker 2: He likes to watch stuff with my wife and I though,
Speaker 2: like documentary shit. And when we're watching, the problem is
Speaker 2: he'll come in and out so like he'll miss episodes
Speaker 2: and then he'll hop in it like so what's going
Speaker 2: on with this? And we're like, that was like five
Speaker 2: episodes ago, but yeah, what about you Stone?
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: One of my all time favorites with Avery is Reckon Ralph. Yeah.
Speaker 3: We watched that one a lot. That one's a special
Speaker 3: one for us. That one especially bonded us really well
Speaker 3: because that was right when her situation happened and she
Speaker 3: also broke her.
Speaker 1: Leg, like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so it was like very much like you know,
Speaker 3: she's like I need you dad, you know, and I
Speaker 3: was there and just that with her. So like every
Speaker 3: time we watch it, she especially gets very cudd away
Speaker 3: during that movie and she just wants to just cuddle
Speaker 3: up and watch it.
Speaker 1: When you guys dress up is fix It Felix and
Speaker 1: wreck It Ralpherd. Yeah, and that was the best. That
Speaker 1: was great. That was really good. She was so proud
Speaker 1: of it too.
Speaker 3: I was like, you don't want to go as Vanilla
Speaker 3: Pee and she was like, no, I want to go
Speaker 3: as Fas to Felix. And I was like, I was like,
Speaker 3: please do not transition when you're older, kid, Please do not.
Speaker 1: Here's my little girl. I'm a dude. Dad, it's sir.
Speaker 1: It's sir so funny. Oh yeah, this seems great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. But yeah, I don't know. It's it's tough.
Speaker 2: But I had the same issue though, like with my parents,
Speaker 2: like we watched some stuff together. My mom always fell
Speaker 2: asleep though, But but I feel like our generation appreciates
Speaker 2: the generation before us movies more than the generation behind
Speaker 2: us appreciating.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean so, like with my dad, I used
Speaker 1: to watch stupid shit like mash and a show called
Speaker 1: Charlie Chan. There was a mystery show as a Chinese
Speaker 1: guy called Charlie Chan and uh it was an old
Speaker 1: mystery theater episodes, uh, and then Andy Griffith Show. My
Speaker 1: dad used to watch Andy Griffith Show a lot, and
Speaker 1: so I would sit after school and do homework while
Speaker 1: he sat there, you know, and did his thing and
Speaker 1: watched his shows and stuff like that, and then sports
Speaker 1: like I mean me and my dad had sports and
Speaker 1: common horse racing, betting things like that. But like with
Speaker 1: me and my kids, we we I have anime with
Speaker 1: Grayson and like we'll watch Me and Grayson will watch
Speaker 1: certain anime shows together. But the girls don't like that.
Speaker 1: The girls like things like full House and Dance Moms,
Speaker 1: and not that I dislike full House, but it's not
Speaker 1: the same as when I was a kid, so I
Speaker 1: don't I don't really get into it, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, And Dance Moms. I don't like the reality
Speaker 1: TV shows anymore. There's there's a few of them that
Speaker 1: I don't mind sitting through, like Survivor I can still
Speaker 1: probably sit through and things like that. But you know,
Speaker 1: the shows that the girls watch, they just you know,
Speaker 1: and even some of the movies they don't again, they
Speaker 1: we don't really rinse and repeat movies like we used to,
Speaker 1: like The Princess and The Frog, Brave Toy, Story Wreck
Speaker 1: It Ralph, we don't. We don't rinse and repeat those anymore.
Speaker 1: We just don't. Right, they're at it, they're at a
Speaker 1: different stage in their life than, you know, than it
Speaker 1: used to be. So I don't know. I was just
Speaker 1: thinking about that and then the other thing I was
Speaker 1: thinking about is like some of the that that got
Speaker 1: me thinking about like my guilty pleasure movies, because I
Speaker 1: have movies that you know, I will put on at
Speaker 1: certain times when I'm feeling a certain way and not
Speaker 1: I don't really know if anybody knows that I watch them.
Speaker 1: I was kind of thinking, like I was kind of
Speaker 1: thinking of that, like for like for when like it's
Speaker 1: Richie rich Like I know we've talked about you rich Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, But like that that's a
Speaker 1: movie that at certain times when I'm feeling a certain way,
Speaker 1: I'll put on and I'll watch it without hesitation, and
Speaker 1: I can probably recite that, yeah, fucking forwards and backwards. Yeah, see,
Speaker 1: I took it.
Speaker 2: I took it a different route of like guilty pleasures
Speaker 2: of things you wouldn't expect your homies to watch, you know,
Speaker 2: like like things that you're like, there's no way that
Speaker 2: you enjoy that movie, right, but but you actually do.
Speaker 2: And actually, for me, it's like a lot of a
Speaker 2: lot of like Chicken, Yes, Like one of my favorites
Speaker 2: is how to How to Lose a Guy, Like it's
Speaker 2: a hilariously fucking movie. Uh, and and the the only
Speaker 2: reason I watched it was because when I went to Hawaii,
Speaker 2: that was the movie. That was when they would do
Speaker 2: movies on flights. But it was one movie and that's
Speaker 2: all you got, right, and it's on a screen, so
Speaker 2: everybody's watching it where you're doing.
Speaker 1: Something else, and that was the movie.
Speaker 2: And so I remember siting and they're laughing my ass
Speaker 2: off on the planet like this is hilarious, and uh,
Speaker 2: because I was seventeen, and so I understood, you know,
Speaker 2: most of the references and everything. But you know, like
Speaker 2: movies like that or even like Can't Hardly Wait is
Speaker 2: kind of teetering on the borderline for me. But I
Speaker 2: would say for me, like you name a chick flick,
Speaker 2: and I probably enjoy it outside of like The Notebook,
Speaker 2: I've never watched that all the way through, nor will
Speaker 2: I because that's just but like rom coms, like I
Speaker 2: guess I should specify rom comms.
Speaker 1: Rom coms. I like rom coms. I like rom coms.
Speaker 1: There was one, there was an Asian one that was
Speaker 1: just on Netflix that was funny. I can't remember what
Speaker 1: it was, Filthy Rich Asian or something like that. That
Speaker 1: was pretty funny. What about you Stone.
Speaker 3: You know, I have a list here, but actually just
Speaker 3: thought of one that I think I would want to
Speaker 3: put on there too, So I'm gonna go with that
Speaker 3: one first. What was that movie with Anna Faris and
Speaker 3: Uma Thurman when they had like superpowers that rom com
Speaker 3: and like I had, like Luke Wilson.
Speaker 1: Oh, I remember what you're talking about. Let me look
Speaker 1: it up while you're talking about something else. My super
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend. There we go. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, it.
Speaker 3: Was my super ex girlfriend. That one is like a
Speaker 3: like a fun one to watch. That'd be like a
Speaker 3: round comrade, throw it out there.
Speaker 1: That that felt like a uh yeah, a rip off
Speaker 1: from the one that had Hancock with Will Smith. That's
Speaker 1: a good that's a good point to the theory of two. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but uh like another movie that that was that made
Speaker 1: it to my list was A King and a Kid
Speaker 1: in King Arthur's Court is like it's yeah, it's the
Speaker 1: same vein. Yeah, it's in the same vein, like kids
Speaker 1: like that. That's my guilty pleasure is like it's like
Speaker 1: old school kid kid movies like you know, Young teen
Speaker 1: did Disney movies like that just have this good theme,
Speaker 1: wholesome theme to it. You know.
Speaker 2: See, I would say those were my guilty pleasures when
Speaker 2: I was in like later high school, like during summertime,
Speaker 2: if I was at home and like weren't hanging out
Speaker 2: with friends, I would throw green. I would throw on
Speaker 2: blank Check Richie rich You know those movies like yeah
Speaker 2: they all right, yeah, the Sinbad movie where he's a genie.
Speaker 1: Because that was a real that was a real thing.
Speaker 1: Don't let him guess. Fuck that bullshit. Real shit was
Speaker 1: re absolutely.
Speaker 2: I like, though, I I always like the guilty pleasures
Speaker 2: and hearing what people are into that they don't want
Speaker 2: to tell you.
Speaker 6: I like.
Speaker 1: I like rom coms too, though, I'm I'm with you
Speaker 1: on that one.
Speaker 3: One thing my mom actually brought up this weekend. We
Speaker 3: were talking about it, and she was like, you and
Speaker 3: your fucking father would sit down and would watch those
Speaker 3: goddamn Clint Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns, And I was like,
Speaker 3: they were the best. I could sit there, like two
Speaker 3: and a ridiculously long two and a half hour movie,
Speaker 3: but it was such a cinematic masterpiece.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: Also side note, those movies are like horrible for of
Speaker 3: lines because they would not watch the playback and because
Speaker 3: they would just say it so like their shit wasn't
Speaker 3: timed up, and you were like, I do.
Speaker 1: Just kind of enjoy I do kind of enjoy watching
Speaker 1: a film where the voice is like and then everything
Speaker 1: comes in. You know, I fucking it drives me nuts,
Speaker 1: but I do.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 1: It's one of those like I don't know, happy annoyance.
Speaker 1: There's because I get a kick out of it.
Speaker 2: Very few movies that I can enjoy. And I think
Speaker 2: you guys know this about me, Like I am not
Speaker 2: a subtitles person, and there's very few. However, one of
Speaker 2: my favorite, Like if I if I had to list
Speaker 2: top five movies of all time, this would be in contention.
Speaker 2: And it is a partial subtitle movie and that's inglorious bastards. Yes,
Speaker 2: it's just a fucking masterpiece of the movie masterpiece. I
Speaker 2: mean it's the way I can't remember the guy's name,
Speaker 2: his real name, but plays plays the the s Trust officer.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Man, he just destroyed that role. So everybody liked, even
Speaker 1: the guys that got shot in the face.
Speaker 3: You talk about performances where like future like theater and
Speaker 3: actor kids, you know, like someone who does like a
Speaker 3: master's thesis on a performance. Somebody has written about his
Speaker 3: performance and a master's thesis that's like damn.
Speaker 2: And I do love though in that movie because I
Speaker 2: was just watching it a couple of weeks ago and
Speaker 2: then this, this conversation reminded me of it. But I
Speaker 2: love how he in the end of the movie, he's
Speaker 2: on the phone with with brad Pitt's you know, commanding officer,
Speaker 2: and he's making all these demands and brad Pitt just
Speaker 2: has to basically go along with it. And then uh
Speaker 2: so him and the guy that plays what's his name
Speaker 2: from the office, and uh they're trans they're transporting him
Speaker 2: and his people. They just yeah, they just they yeah,
Speaker 2: that's right. And they pull off to the side of
Speaker 2: the road, kill the other guys, and then they fucking
Speaker 2: tag the Nazi symbol in his forehead, just like, fuck you.
Speaker 2: You're gonna get everything you wanted, but we're giving you this.
Speaker 1: Because go fuck yourself. I did take that deal. Take
Speaker 1: that deal.
Speaker 3: I take that deal. God don't blame you. Damn good deal,
Speaker 3: so good. It's so good, so fucking good. You know.
Speaker 1: It's another guilty pleasure for me. Is a big trouble
Speaker 1: in Little China. It's a great movie. I have to
Speaker 1: put that on once twice a year. That's a great movie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a great, good one movie.
Speaker 2: Movies have peaked like that. I I feel like we're
Speaker 2: at an impass of something has to happen or movies,
Speaker 2: because that's why they just keep rinse and washing and
Speaker 2: repeating and trying to remake ship. And it's like like
Speaker 2: people's minds are just like that we've made everything or something.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: It's just like movies just aren't what they used to be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's your guys' opinion on them remaking How to
Speaker 3: Train Your Dragon? Putting it quote unquote live action when
Speaker 3: really everything is still green screen CGI, and it's they're just.
Speaker 1: Putting out really live action people in there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like there's gonna be almost none of it. That's
Speaker 3: like real, Like at least with the with the Minecraft movie,
Speaker 3: they actually built whole sets for that movie, so it
Speaker 3: wasn't all three D or it wasn't all uh CGI.
Speaker 1: But with that movie, you know, I I I don't know,
Speaker 1: I wasn't really happy with it. I didn't think that
Speaker 1: they needed to do it.
Speaker 2: And I think that's just the point to my point
Speaker 2: of they keep doing live actions of all these movies
Speaker 2: that we had as cartoons. And it's just because they
Speaker 2: have they have like writers block they can't figure out
Speaker 2: all these other like when was the last movie that
Speaker 2: you can remember that was like some blockbuster that was
Speaker 2: gonna come out to theaters that you had to go
Speaker 2: see the last one?
Speaker 1: I'm actually not even I don't feel the same way
Speaker 1: as a Marvel movie.
Speaker 2: The last Batman would be the one that I could
Speaker 2: think of. When I went and saw Batman back in
Speaker 2: what twenty.
Speaker 1: I couldn't even tell you smile maybe yeah, maybe yeah, smile.
Speaker 1: For me, that was that was a movie where it
Speaker 1: made me get up, and it didn't. It didn't make
Speaker 1: me rush to the theater to go see it though,
Speaker 1: like I said, yeah, oh that looks good, that looks creepy,
Speaker 1: and I want to see it, But it didn't push
Speaker 1: me to the doors, right, Yeah, So I.
Speaker 2: Guess I guess the last one that I could think
Speaker 2: of would have been Top Gun Maverick actually, which would
Speaker 2: be newer.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And the only reason I did it was because all
Speaker 2: the buzz of people like this is such a good
Speaker 2: fun I'm like, fuck it, like, let's go see this
Speaker 2: in movie theaters just to see what the buzz is
Speaker 2: and I one way like it was a good movie,
Speaker 2: like you guys over sold it and it's still it's
Speaker 2: still delivered.
Speaker 1: Yeah, still slapped. No, All right, well you got anything else?
Speaker 1: I didn't think.
Speaker 3: So I do have an outro joke pre you guys,
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, hell yeah. So this guy gets marooned
Speaker 3: on this island and he is just so pissed off
Speaker 3: and was like, fuck by myself, got to make shit work.
Speaker 3: But he discovers on this island that there's like some
Speaker 3: animals and he've befriends a pig and he's with a
Speaker 3: pig all day long, every day for months and months
Speaker 3: and months, and then one day that pig starts looking
Speaker 3: pretty good and he's like, I don't know, maybe something
Speaker 3: could happen. So he tries to make things happen with
Speaker 3: the pig, but the pig doesn't want any of it,
Speaker 3: and he's passed and he's trying for days on end,
Speaker 3: and this beautiful, smoking hot woman gets marooned in the
Speaker 3: island too, and she's like, oh my god, you know
Speaker 3: what's going on. He's like, thank God, can you hold
Speaker 3: down that fucking pig? Jesus shout out to Golden girls.
Speaker 1: That's good stuff, all right.
Speaker 2: Well, Dad's on Dake episode one seventy eight, Catch next.
Speaker 1: Week said later, you know what I mean. I was
Speaker 1: letting him do it.
Speaker 2: Oh you were that one time you told the joke
Speaker 2: and I immediately interrupted talking about.
Speaker 1: Your dad, like I just couldn't help myself. God damn,
Speaker 1: that was such an asshole thing. It was so funny.
Speaker 1: It's just like perfect comedian time. Abso the amount of
Speaker 1: regret in your face.
Speaker 2: As I was finishing, said like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 2: I think I said it right. I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry.
Speaker 3: It's one of those intrusive thoughts that Master himself is
Speaker 3: a good joke in your head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, I think this will slap absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 1: My mind went to a five year old self where
Speaker 1: you just do what you think. It's all right, though,
Speaker 1: Hey do you guys, do you guys know how Hitler
Speaker 1: picks up hot Jewish girls with the less bend and
Speaker 1: brushongs with the desk nice scoopie juice
Speaker 3: Every