WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:02.439 Hi everyone, and welcome back to the podcast episode. My 2 00:00:02.520 --> 00:00:04.919 name is Alicia Gogin, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast. 3 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:07.120 Why I help you expand your mind and become more 4 00:00:07.160 --> 00:00:09.240 self awares that you can glow up into the best 5 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:13.679 version of yourself. Hello, Happy Sunday if you're listening to 6 00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:16.920 this on a Sunday. Today's episode is going to be 7 00:00:17.679 --> 00:00:20.079 deep and it's going to be personal because I'm going 8 00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:22.960 to share with you something that I've been going through 9 00:00:23.559 --> 00:00:27.160 and I know it will in some way resonate with 10 00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:29.559 you and hopefully will make you feel better about the 11 00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:32.320 current situation that you're in and or just the human 12 00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:36.119 experience of running away from yourself. So let me give 13 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:39.200 you a story about why I even chose this topic 14 00:00:39.240 --> 00:00:43.679 for this week. If you don't know, I have ulcrative colitis, 15 00:00:43.719 --> 00:00:47.000 which is a form of irritable bowel disease. It is 16 00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:50.399 essentially an autoimmune disease. Now, this is actually a huge 17 00:00:50.399 --> 00:00:53.439 part of my life, but I deal with it in 18 00:00:53.560 --> 00:00:57.079 different phases of my life because it's not always prominent 19 00:00:57.159 --> 00:01:00.000 in every season of my life. Sometimes I'll get flare up, 20 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:02.600 sometimes not. I have been on different medications. I have 21 00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:04.840 had to go through different phases of my life of 22 00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:07.680 trying to manage it and work on my stress levels 23 00:01:08.040 --> 00:01:11.599 and my diet and so many different components that contribute 24 00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:16.040 to a autoimut disease and or chronic illness. That's basically 25 00:01:16.040 --> 00:01:18.359 what it is. When I go through flare ups. It 26 00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:20.640 can be really bad. I have to go to the 27 00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:24.200 washroom a lot, There's a lot of urgency, there's ulcers, 28 00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:27.840 There's just really uncomfortable times. It gets to a point 29 00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:31.840 where I can't live my normal life. I either can't work, 30 00:01:31.959 --> 00:01:34.120 I can't see people, I can't really eat a lot, 31 00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:36.840 just a lot of pain. Anyone who has any sort 32 00:01:36.840 --> 00:01:39.760 of stomach issues and or maybe has this or even 33 00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:43.319 like Crone's disease or anything similar or honestly even chronic illness, 34 00:01:43.359 --> 00:01:47.000 regardless of what it is, you understand the struggles that 35 00:01:47.079 --> 00:01:50.280 chronic illness can bring and really take you away from life. 36 00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:52.519 And if you guys haven't been watching my vlog channel, 37 00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:54.840 I have been sharing on there that I've currently been 38 00:01:54.879 --> 00:01:56.200 going through a flare up. I know how I have 39 00:01:56.359 --> 00:01:58.760 mentioned it before on the podcast, but I have been 40 00:01:58.760 --> 00:02:02.560 going through a flare up. And although I am getting 41 00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:05.719 the right medication and I've been through this before, and 42 00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:08.639 I'm doing the best with diet and stress and all 43 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:11.199 of these things, and also you know, looking at some 44 00:02:11.240 --> 00:02:15.000 of the habits that might have contributed to a flare 45 00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:17.560 up to bring it back up in my life. During 46 00:02:17.599 --> 00:02:21.879 this time of healing, there is an immense amount of 47 00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:25.719 having to wait, especially when you're dealing with anything physical 48 00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:30.479 for your health. It sometimes takes like ten times longer 49 00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:33.439 than you really wish, because you don't have that much 50 00:02:33.479 --> 00:02:36.879 control over how quickly your body response to medication, or 51 00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:39.599 even if you're not on medication, just in general, how 52 00:02:39.639 --> 00:02:42.039 long it takes for your body to recover. And I 53 00:02:42.039 --> 00:02:46.719 have found through this flare up, I have been trying 54 00:02:46.759 --> 00:02:50.080 to run away from it, and quite frankly, I have 55 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:54.680 been running away from this disease in many aspects of 56 00:02:54.680 --> 00:02:58.000 my life. And mind you, it's normal to want to 57 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:00.520 run away from pain or run away from something that 58 00:03:00.599 --> 00:03:03.639 scares you. Run away from a disease or you know, 59 00:03:03.800 --> 00:03:07.080 like an autoimmune thing or anything, right like, why would 60 00:03:07.159 --> 00:03:08.919 you want to have this be a part of your 61 00:03:08.919 --> 00:03:11.960 reality or a part of your health circumstance. It's hard, 62 00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:14.560 it can be painful, it can be confusing, it can 63 00:03:14.599 --> 00:03:18.919 be scary, But I find when my body needs time 64 00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:23.879 to heal, I tend to want to run away from 65 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:27.199 that waiting period. And when I run away from that 66 00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:31.479 waiting period, I actually create more suffering and more pain 67 00:03:31.639 --> 00:03:35.400 because I'm not actually with my body and what it 68 00:03:35.439 --> 00:03:39.560 actually needs. My body when I am sick, my emotional 69 00:03:39.560 --> 00:03:42.879 and mental health, when I am sad, it doesn't need 70 00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:46.080 me to run away from it in the sense of ignoring, 71 00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:49.800 in the sense of trying to fix. Even though fixing 72 00:03:49.879 --> 00:03:51.639 is great. We want to get answers, we want to 73 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:55.960 obviously do certain things to help us heal, but sometimes 74 00:03:55.960 --> 00:03:59.120 within that it's this form of like, I just want 75 00:03:59.159 --> 00:04:01.080 to fix this. I want to fix you. I want 76 00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:03.639 to change this situation so that I can run away 77 00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:07.400 from that. In between uncomfortable feeling that I am left with, 78 00:04:07.719 --> 00:04:11.759 which is me being left with myself, me being left 79 00:04:11.759 --> 00:04:16.240 with the reality of, Wow, I maybe did neglect myself 80 00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:18.079 a little bit more than I thought. And this is 81 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:21.279 not me, by the way, like actually blaming myself for 82 00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:23.800 having an autoimmune disease. And you never should for anything when 83 00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:26.839 it comes to chronic illness or anything. Realistically, you're a 84 00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:31.439 human being, but there are always things that you kind 85 00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:34.199 of run away from when there's something that's hard in 86 00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:36.800 your life. And sometimes what happens, and this has happened 87 00:04:36.800 --> 00:04:40.680 with me, and it's so normal, but it's almost like 88 00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:44.120 I end up getting mad at my body for being sick. 89 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:48.279 I get mad at my body for not getting better faster. 90 00:04:48.839 --> 00:04:52.399 I get mad at myself for is there something else 91 00:04:52.399 --> 00:04:54.160 I should have done? Or I'll just try to do 92 00:04:54.199 --> 00:04:56.759 the most perfect thing, the most flawless thing, so that 93 00:04:56.839 --> 00:04:59.720 I can get better, quicker, faster, so I can run 94 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:05.199 away from this uncomfortable feeling, which again, in part that's natural, 95 00:05:05.279 --> 00:05:08.360 you want to feel better. But I have found there's 96 00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:11.079 a lot of this rejection of self. There's a lot 97 00:05:11.079 --> 00:05:14.120 of not wanting to slow down and understand what my 98 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:16.720 body actually needs and why my body is in this 99 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:19.600 state in the first place, and what I can do 100 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:22.920 in this present moment while my body is healing, because 101 00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:26.199 the truth is, I'm in the waiting period. The truth 102 00:05:26.279 --> 00:05:28.199 is you might be in a waiting period right now. 103 00:05:28.519 --> 00:05:31.480 Sometimes you can't do anything. Sometimes you can't change the 104 00:05:31.480 --> 00:05:35.600 situation that's happening. Sometimes you are in this waiting period. 105 00:05:35.720 --> 00:05:39.560 And sometimes I think life really tries to show you 106 00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:42.639 that all it needs you to do is actually slow 107 00:05:42.680 --> 00:05:44.959 down and be here in the present. And sometimes that's 108 00:05:44.959 --> 00:05:47.560 why your body speaks to you. Sometimes that's why life 109 00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:49.800 speaks to you. Or you think things are crumbling, but 110 00:05:49.879 --> 00:05:53.040 really it's like a lesson for you to be here 111 00:05:53.240 --> 00:05:54.959 and be awake and be like what is going on? 112 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:57.720 Like how have I actually been very disconnected to myself 113 00:05:58.199 --> 00:06:00.800 or my needs and my wants, whether that's in relationships 114 00:06:00.879 --> 00:06:04.560 or career or lifestyle, health, all of these things. But 115 00:06:04.759 --> 00:06:08.319 we just look at the slowing down, the response of 116 00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:11.199 our bodies, the response of life as like a bad thing, 117 00:06:11.319 --> 00:06:14.439 as it shouldn't be happening. But really there's a lot 118 00:06:14.480 --> 00:06:17.160 of wisdom that can be found in this waiting period. 119 00:06:17.480 --> 00:06:18.959 So I kind of want to talk about some of 120 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:21.879 the things that have helped me navigate a waiting period, 121 00:06:22.120 --> 00:06:24.360 how to not run away from myself and what is 122 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:27.040 happening in my life. So maybe you're not going through 123 00:06:27.079 --> 00:06:30.000 a health situation or something as similar to me, but 124 00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:32.800 maybe you find yourself running away from the thing that 125 00:06:32.839 --> 00:06:35.120 you know you need to kind of face in a way, 126 00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:38.040 and hopefully these tips can help. And I think that 127 00:06:38.120 --> 00:06:41.759 this can be helpful because this is the human experience. Guys. 128 00:06:42.199 --> 00:06:44.920 You're going to have times in your life where you're 129 00:06:44.920 --> 00:06:49.800 in this waiting period of it's uncomfortable, it's hard, it's dreadful. 130 00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:51.360 You don't know when things are going to change, you 131 00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:54.879 don't even know the answer. What do you do? And 132 00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:58.519 in the moment of when you don't know, it really 133 00:06:58.519 --> 00:07:03.399 does count. Gone through many hard times in my life, 134 00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:07.040 whether it is with my UC or I've had nerve 135 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:08.600 pain in my hands. I wrote that in my boat, 136 00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:12.240 The Ultimate Globe Guide. I have gone through other health issues. 137 00:07:12.279 --> 00:07:15.720 I've gone through financial stress, mental stress, breakups, all of 138 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:21.319 those things, and what makes you resilient and unfortunately, sometimes 139 00:07:21.399 --> 00:07:24.120 what actually allows you to get out of the period 140 00:07:24.160 --> 00:07:27.079 that you're in is for you to stop running away 141 00:07:27.319 --> 00:07:30.920 from what is now. I saw a Pinterest quote that 142 00:07:31.079 --> 00:07:33.160 really resonated and I shared it on Instagram, So I'm 143 00:07:33.199 --> 00:07:35.040 going to share it with you guys, if you're watching 144 00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:36.680 on YouTube or you can just listen to on audio, 145 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:39.439 and it says, it's okay to be in this space, 146 00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:43.480 the transition, the messy middle, the space in between. You 147 00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:46.279 moved on, but you haven't yet arrived. You've left behind 148 00:07:46.279 --> 00:07:48.680 what you needed to but the puzzle pieces haven't all 149 00:07:48.759 --> 00:07:52.680 yet come together. There is messiness, there is waiting, there's uncertainty. 150 00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:55.079 You are wanting to rush, but everything is moving slow. 151 00:07:55.439 --> 00:07:57.240 You are wondering if you will get to where you 152 00:07:57.279 --> 00:07:59.759 want to go. But where you are is perfect. The 153 00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:02.600 middle is for the doors to close and new doors 154 00:08:02.600 --> 00:08:05.800 to open. This transition period is where things come undone 155 00:08:05.839 --> 00:08:07.680 so that they can get put back together. This is 156 00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:11.079 a season of just being, of trusting. This is a 157 00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:14.240 season to pause and take a breath, have love for yourself. 158 00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:16.680 You are exactly where you need to be now. I 159 00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:19.800 think the reason why it's very, very difficult for you 160 00:08:19.879 --> 00:08:24.360 to actually surrender and accept and be okay with the 161 00:08:24.439 --> 00:08:30.639 in between, the messy, the unknown one is maybe seriously 162 00:08:30.839 --> 00:08:33.480 it is painful. Like I think about my own health 163 00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:37.360 right now. It's genuinely so painful when I have to 164 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:40.279 go to the washroom or when my symptoms are flared up, 165 00:08:40.360 --> 00:08:43.440 like it's not a good site and it's not a 166 00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:45.759 good feeling. But even in the times where let's say 167 00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:49.360 I don't have you know, a level ten pain, but regardless, 168 00:08:49.440 --> 00:08:51.200 I still can't go and live my life. I have 169 00:08:51.279 --> 00:08:53.919 to slow things down. I have found that's a result 170 00:08:54.159 --> 00:08:58.720 of me constantly living in survival mode when you have 171 00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:02.600 been on fight or flight, making sure you survive, making 172 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:07.000 sure you are safe in any capacity. For you to 173 00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:11.799 embrace slowing down is so foreign to your body because 174 00:09:11.840 --> 00:09:16.200 you don't feel like it's safe to actually not fix 175 00:09:16.240 --> 00:09:19.840 anything or not look for an answer or not know 176 00:09:20.159 --> 00:09:23.440 the answer, because you've lived your life always seeking and 177 00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:27.799 seeking and seeking. But I like to remind myself sometimes 178 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:30.519 when you're constantly trying to fix and fix and fix again, 179 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:33.799 it's almost like you're rejecting yourself. You're rejecting the part 180 00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:35.879 of you that just needs you to slow down and 181 00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:39.080 to heal and to breathe and to be grounded. Right now, 182 00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:43.039 your body, your inner child, your deepest self, doesn't need 183 00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:45.080 you to fix. There's nothing to even fix right now 184 00:09:45.159 --> 00:09:48.120 other than for you to slow it down and breathe 185 00:09:48.320 --> 00:09:50.519 and rest and to stop putting things on your to 186 00:09:50.559 --> 00:09:52.679 do list. But you have that other part of you 187 00:09:52.759 --> 00:09:54.799 that's been in survival mode and it's like, no, we 188 00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:56.399 need to fix, you need to go, We need to go. 189 00:09:56.559 --> 00:09:58.559 So it's important for you to kind of see how 190 00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:01.320 you might have too conflicting part of you that are 191 00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:04.120 making your current circumstance worse than it needs to be, 192 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:07.399 which is what I have seen in myself even during 193 00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:10.639 like this flare right now is like my flare, my 194 00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:14.440 ucy flare, my symptoms, my health. I look at it 195 00:10:14.519 --> 00:10:16.840 kind of like my inner child right now that's really sick. 196 00:10:17.159 --> 00:10:19.440 And my inner child that's really sick right now does 197 00:10:19.480 --> 00:10:23.440 not need the part of me that is the survival mode, 198 00:10:23.799 --> 00:10:25.919 independent girl that wants to hit all of her goals, 199 00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:29.639 who wants to get everything done. She doesn't need that 200 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:32.840 part of her to aid her, because that's not what's 201 00:10:32.879 --> 00:10:35.519 going to help her right now. She needs the motherly 202 00:10:36.200 --> 00:10:39.320 voice and the wisdom and the softness and the love 203 00:10:39.480 --> 00:10:44.080 and the calm and the just letting her be and 204 00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:48.240 feel and be sick right now energy. That's what she needs. 205 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:50.120 And so I think the first step when it comes 206 00:10:50.159 --> 00:10:53.399 to you not running away from yourself is for you 207 00:10:53.639 --> 00:10:59.080 to surrender, for you to get curious, and for you 208 00:10:59.360 --> 00:11:03.120 to lean inwards to the thing that you keep running 209 00:11:03.159 --> 00:11:08.000 away from. From this place of support, let's say, to 210 00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:10.360 your inner child, or to the part of you that 211 00:11:10.440 --> 00:11:12.000 is hurting right now. And that's how I like to 212 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:15.080 look at it. Right when you are not comfortable with 213 00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:17.000 the in between right now, there's a part of you 214 00:11:17.159 --> 00:11:20.519 that's hurting, okay, And so when I look at it, 215 00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:23.480 I don't want my inner child to be holding this 216 00:11:23.639 --> 00:11:26.679 pain of this disease, right I don't want her to 217 00:11:26.679 --> 00:11:29.039 be alone with this pain, with this stomach ache, with 218 00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:31.919 being afraid. And now, mind you, I will give credit 219 00:11:31.960 --> 00:11:33.879 where credit is due to that part of me that 220 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:37.039 is a survivor. I've tried to do the best with 221 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:39.600 trying to aid my inner child by being like, Okay, 222 00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:41.720 let me fix it, you know, let me get the medication, 223 00:11:42.159 --> 00:11:44.039 let me do the proper diet, let me do all 224 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:47.399 these things, which is great, but it's great to an extent. 225 00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:50.399 There's gonna come a point where there's nothing I can 226 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:53.440 do other than to hold my inner child's hand and 227 00:11:53.480 --> 00:11:55.720 be like, I'm going to go to the washing with you, 228 00:11:56.120 --> 00:11:58.399 and I'm going to hold your stomach while you are 229 00:11:58.399 --> 00:12:00.440 in pain right now, and I'm gonna let you cry 230 00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:02.159 if you need to, and I'm going to let you 231 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:05.360 feel and I'm going to be very soft with you. 232 00:12:05.639 --> 00:12:07.200 And I'm not going to try and tell you that 233 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:09.159 things are even going to change, because I don't know 234 00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:11.240 if they're going to change, and that's not even going 235 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:13.840 to change the fact that you're in pain right now. 236 00:12:14.039 --> 00:12:15.679 But I am not going to let you go through 237 00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:18.039 this pain by yourself. And I feel like when we 238 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:20.559 try to fix, fix, fix, fix, find the answers, find 239 00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:23.840 the answers, and hit the goals, what we are doing 240 00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:26.080 is telling our inner child, telling the part of us 241 00:12:26.120 --> 00:12:28.879 that is uncomfortable, that is in pain, that you're going 242 00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:30.600 to be in pain alone while I go over here 243 00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:33.840 and try and figure out the situation. That's not always 244 00:12:33.879 --> 00:12:36.639 what we need when it comes to healing. Now, I 245 00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:40.360 have a little it's like this meditation mindfulness book. It's 246 00:12:40.399 --> 00:12:42.279 called how to Walk. I don't know how to say 247 00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:45.559 this author's name. This is like a monk of some sort. 248 00:12:46.639 --> 00:12:51.279 One of my therapists. I have two therapists, not because 249 00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:53.399 I think that I need two therapists, but I have 250 00:12:53.440 --> 00:12:56.200 one therapist where I work on she's kind of more 251 00:12:56.200 --> 00:12:58.200 of like a spiritual therapist. And then I have another 252 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:02.600 one that's actually a health psychologists and she works closely 253 00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:05.759 with me when it comes to my IBD and colitis actually, 254 00:13:06.399 --> 00:13:08.840 which is very supportive. And she was the one that 255 00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:11.960 brought this up because we have been diving into mindfulness 256 00:13:11.960 --> 00:13:14.399 a lot, because mindfulness is very important when it comes 257 00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:17.039 to the waiting period, which we'll talk about. There's a 258 00:13:17.039 --> 00:13:19.000 million things I'm going to get into in this episode. 259 00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:21.840 But she introduced me to this monk who has like 260 00:13:21.879 --> 00:13:25.559 all of these little pocket book mindfulness. They're like quotes 261 00:13:25.720 --> 00:13:31.799 and just like really deep spiritual thoughts and wisdom essentially. 262 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:34.320 And I'll link this on Amazon if you want to 263 00:13:34.360 --> 00:13:37.840 check him out. But she also did study with him, 264 00:13:38.080 --> 00:13:40.519 so that was pretty cool to hear. Anyways, she had 265 00:13:40.559 --> 00:13:43.159 brought this up in our session and I wanted to 266 00:13:43.159 --> 00:13:44.600 get this and I really wanted to bring it to 267 00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:46.360 you guys. So I'm going to read one of these 268 00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:49.080 and so this one is about running, and it says 269 00:13:49.799 --> 00:13:52.000 in every one of us there's a tendency to run. 270 00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:55.000 There's a belief that happiness is not possible here and now, 271 00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:57.600 so we have the tendency to run into the future 272 00:13:57.720 --> 00:14:00.720 in order to look for happiness. That habit energy may 273 00:14:00.759 --> 00:14:03.639 have been transmitted to us by our father, our mother, 274 00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:07.600 or our ancestors. Running has become a habit. Even in 275 00:14:07.639 --> 00:14:10.279 our dreams, we continue to run and look for something. 276 00:14:10.399 --> 00:14:13.159 The practice of mindfulness helps us to stop running and 277 00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:15.440 see that everything we have been looking for is here. 278 00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:17.440 Many of us have been running all of our lives. 279 00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:20.799 One mindful step can help us to stop running. When 280 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:23.120 the mind is focused on breathing and walking, we are 281 00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:26.679 unifying body, speech, and mind, and we are already home. 282 00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:28.639 So this book is really all about just how to 283 00:14:28.679 --> 00:14:30.679 be more mindful in your day to day life when 284 00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:33.279 it comes to walking. You know, if you unplug and 285 00:14:33.279 --> 00:14:34.879 you don't listen to a podcast or we don't listen 286 00:14:34.919 --> 00:14:38.559 to music, it is such a great practice for healing 287 00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:42.000 in your nervous system and to remind yourself that you 288 00:14:42.039 --> 00:14:44.919 are safe by being aware of like one foot in 289 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:46.799 front of the other and just slowing it down and 290 00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:49.200 taking nature and all of those things. But I think 291 00:14:49.200 --> 00:14:52.840 the deeper message here really is that, you know, we 292 00:14:53.480 --> 00:14:58.200 are always running from something in our lives, right, We're 293 00:14:58.200 --> 00:15:02.080 always distracting ourselves, We're always finding a new thing to do, 294 00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:05.240 We're always trying to run away from pain, which again 295 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:08.879 is so normal in a way. But again, sometimes there 296 00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:11.720 is going to be pain, whether that is health, or 297 00:15:11.960 --> 00:15:15.039 you're going through grief, or there's just something that you 298 00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:17.919 just don't know yet. You know, there is that waiting period. 299 00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:22.600 So how do we stop running? Because running away is 300 00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:26.720 again abandoning ourselves and making things ten times more difficult 301 00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:31.080 for our inner worlds. And usually what we do when 302 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:33.559 we run is we ramp up our nervous systems, sustain 303 00:15:33.639 --> 00:15:37.440 that fight or flight, right, We try to find more information, 304 00:15:37.559 --> 00:15:40.720 try to intellectualize the situation again and again and again. 305 00:15:40.840 --> 00:15:42.919 We don't give ourselves a second to breathe. And most 306 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:46.600 likely the thing that you're running from, all it needs 307 00:15:46.639 --> 00:15:49.519 you to do is to not be in fight or flight. Right. 308 00:15:49.559 --> 00:15:53.000 When I think back to my health, when you're talking 309 00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:55.600 about an autoimmune disease, yes, there's a lot of aspects 310 00:15:55.639 --> 00:15:58.240 as to how you heal. Right, you might need medication, 311 00:15:58.759 --> 00:16:01.600 maybe your diet needs some more, maybe you need more sleep, 312 00:16:01.879 --> 00:16:04.440 maybe you need some more hydration, all of these things. 313 00:16:04.440 --> 00:16:07.679 Maybe you're in a toxing environment. But at the end 314 00:16:07.720 --> 00:16:11.639 of the day, like your body actually just needs less things, right, 315 00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:17.639 less products, less supplements, less taxing on the body, less 316 00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:22.759 chatter in the mind, and just calm and presence and peace. 317 00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:26.919 So how do we shift from being in that running energy, 318 00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:31.960 the survival mode energy more into the healing energy, the 319 00:16:32.039 --> 00:16:34.559 thriving energy. Now, a few things that I'm going to 320 00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:38.399 talk about are related to things we tend to do 321 00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:41.679 when we're running. And the thing that I do usually 322 00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:44.919 the most when something is distressing and uncomfortable in my 323 00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:48.159 life is I tend to hyper focus and try to 324 00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:51.080 fix it. So instead of trying to hyper focus and 325 00:16:51.159 --> 00:16:56.080 fix and change constantly every single day, you're researching, you're 326 00:16:56.360 --> 00:16:58.720 talking to a million people, you know, you know your 327 00:16:58.799 --> 00:17:01.039 habits with whatever it is is right, or you're just 328 00:17:01.080 --> 00:17:03.600 constantly just running away and ignoring and or ignoring what 329 00:17:03.720 --> 00:17:05.920 I like to try and do every day, and this 330 00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:09.279 is a day to day thing is to acknowledge and 331 00:17:09.400 --> 00:17:12.880 ask myself what I need in this moment, because this 332 00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:16.359 is the thing. When you're trying to run away from 333 00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:19.160 something that's distressing in your life, You'll wake up every 334 00:17:19.240 --> 00:17:20.920 day and be like, Okay, how do I fix this? 335 00:17:21.240 --> 00:17:24.880 Where's the answer? You look outside of yourself versus connecting 336 00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:28.000 back to self and saying what would feel really good 337 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:32.400 and supportive to my nervous system, to my mindset, to 338 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:35.079 my health, whatever it is. And so I'm going to 339 00:17:35.160 --> 00:17:37.720 give you an example of what I've been doing when 340 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:42.240 it comes to my ulsterraate of clitis. Instead of googling 341 00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:46.079 every symptom and micromanaging every single time I have this 342 00:17:46.119 --> 00:17:50.160 symptom or that symptom. When I feel myself wanting to 343 00:17:50.200 --> 00:17:52.440 do that, you know, wanting to find a new answer 344 00:17:52.839 --> 00:17:56.119 or wanting to check in on something, I try to 345 00:17:56.160 --> 00:17:58.680 recognize that that's really just my inner child right now, 346 00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:03.200 in pain, scared, worried. Right So, instead of me trying 347 00:18:03.240 --> 00:18:06.160 to go to find the answer, I like to have 348 00:18:06.200 --> 00:18:08.000 a little practice with myself. And this could be me 349 00:18:08.039 --> 00:18:09.799 speaking to myself. It could be a journal practice. It 350 00:18:09.799 --> 00:18:11.799 could just me be like just for a moment, being like, 351 00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:14.319 ok hey, let me put everything down, and I allow 352 00:18:14.359 --> 00:18:17.200 myself to process those emotions, because realistically, what's happening is 353 00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:20.279 I'm afraid right now. You know, when you're constantly like, 354 00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:24.039 oh my gosh, okay, let me find this answer. You're afraid. 355 00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:27.960 You're not trusting, you're not trusting the process, You're scared. 356 00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:33.000 And so I don't need another Google answer. I don't 357 00:18:33.079 --> 00:18:37.000 need to go over the symptoms one hundred times, especially 358 00:18:37.079 --> 00:18:39.359 when you know yourself and you know the situation at hand, 359 00:18:39.400 --> 00:18:42.200 right like, usually this happens a lot, and you've gone 360 00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:45.240 through it one hundred times before. So it's not that 361 00:18:45.319 --> 00:18:47.759 I need to go outside of myself. It's like, Okay, 362 00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:50.079 I need to process these emotions right now, and I 363 00:18:50.119 --> 00:18:52.160 need to allow myself to feel because I am afraid, 364 00:18:52.160 --> 00:18:54.839 and that's okay. That's okay that you're afraid right now. 365 00:18:54.880 --> 00:19:00.279 It is tough, it's overwhelming, it's really shitty some times. 366 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:03.200 It's you allow yourself to be really enraged and mad. 367 00:19:03.319 --> 00:19:05.000 Right Like, there's been so many times that I've gone 368 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:08.759 through like a million emotions where I'm mad at myself. 369 00:19:08.920 --> 00:19:11.319 I'm mad at my health, I'm mad at my past, 370 00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:12.839 I'm mad at the fact that I've been living in 371 00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:15.960 fight or flight, I'm mad at everything. I'm mad at 372 00:19:16.039 --> 00:19:19.519 just everything. And I allow myself to feel that instead 373 00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:22.119 of trying to go and find another answer that's gonna 374 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:24.559 fix something which I already don't need. I don't need that. 375 00:19:24.839 --> 00:19:26.799 I know enough now. Another thing that I like to 376 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:29.039 do is, let's say, in the mornings, and this is 377 00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:31.400 specific to my situation, right, but maybe this could help 378 00:19:31.559 --> 00:19:35.039 in some other sense. But I like to do a 379 00:19:35.079 --> 00:19:36.920 little bit of a body check in This is really 380 00:19:37.000 --> 00:19:39.079 good when you are going through a period of like 381 00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:42.920 waiting healing, no answers, things like that. You can't really 382 00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:45.599 predict anything, right, You don't really have any answers, So 383 00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:47.799 you can't really tell yourself like this is how the 384 00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:50.880 day is gonna go, or I'm gonna do these things tomorrow. 385 00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:52.720 And mind you, some of that can be helpful, and 386 00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:56.000 it can make you feel stabilized. That's fine. Some routine 387 00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:58.880 can be fine. But for you to constantly dictate how 388 00:19:58.920 --> 00:20:02.799 you're going to feel is it's counterintuitive to the healing process. 389 00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:05.039 And so I like to wake up in the morning 390 00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:08.480 and be like, what does my body need right now? 391 00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:11.960 And I'll give you example. Is it ideal for me 392 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:14.839 to wake up in the morning and hydrate myself, take 393 00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:18.960 my medication, eat really soothing foods, do some yoga and 394 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:21.240 some breath work, and do a meditation and maybe take 395 00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:23.640 a bath, and you know, go for a walk, do 396 00:20:23.720 --> 00:20:27.079 all these things. Yeah, but I don't know how my 397 00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:29.599 body is going to feel tomorrow. I really don't. And 398 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:32.920 you know what, sometimes my body is not feeling up 399 00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:35.519 for that and I just can't. But if I tell 400 00:20:35.559 --> 00:20:38.680 myself you need to do these things tomorrow because quote 401 00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:41.839