Speaker 1: Stuck at home.
Speaker 2: And alone.
Speaker 3: You'd think I could have some.
Speaker 1: Fun on my own, but not all.
Speaker 3: If with Cecily and Stephanie.
Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Hello, welcome to bord A f It's I
Speaker 1: almost told you what time it is. It's me Stephanie
Speaker 1: and I'm here with Cecily, and you know we're doing it.
Speaker 1: We're giving it to you, given it are We are
Speaker 1: giving it up from our roy houjens, what what.
Speaker 3: From our regions.
Speaker 4: Let me just say, get right off of that good stuff.
Speaker 4: A lot of you guys like murders. I'm just gonna
Speaker 4: get up in it. I know a lot of people
Speaker 4: like murders.
Speaker 3: I don't. I'm not that into murders. Murders.
Speaker 4: I don't like them. No, I like colts, No, check yourself,
Speaker 4: I do not. I like the Keith Renae of it all.
Speaker 4: I do not like the murders. I hate that should
Speaker 4: I never watch anything like that. I hate I hate
Speaker 4: every I've always hated it, and I've always been shocked
Speaker 4: that it like is so popular that people watch like Dateline.
Speaker 4: I don't like the way that stuff is framed. I
Speaker 4: don't like like. I just don't like it.
Speaker 3: I don't know why.
Speaker 1: People like it. You know what, I'm gonna say this,
Speaker 1: I used to like it more for some reason. And
Speaker 1: I also I feel the same way. I'll look at
Speaker 1: my podcast app and I'll go, God, I have so
Speaker 1: many like dateline forty, all these things, and I go,
Speaker 1: I don't want to listen to any of this.
Speaker 4: They're not even very well done anymore. No, they're not
Speaker 4: that put together. I mean they're like, you know, the
Speaker 4: problem is everybody's got a boss that's trying to make
Speaker 4: them put out too much content, and then it's not
Speaker 4: going to be good because those forty those dateline ones
Speaker 4: are so bad. It'll just be like, ugh, and that
Speaker 4: was her teacher. But it wasn't her teacher, was it
Speaker 4: after all? Because he wasn't a teacher. You're like, why
Speaker 4: did you take me down this road of thinking that
Speaker 4: the teacher killed this person? And you know that I'm
Speaker 4: very easily swayed, which is why I'm bringing this up.
Speaker 1: Actually, I can I just say one thing before we
Speaker 1: get to that, because because why not?
Speaker 3: Right? But one of the and this is this is
Speaker 3: a literal hack.
Speaker 1: This is a hack thought. We used to call it
Speaker 1: hacky people that aren't comics. We would go, my god,
Speaker 1: that's so hacky. But uh, this is a real thought
Speaker 1: that I have oftentimes when I am listening to true
Speaker 1: crime stuff, is they focus so much on whether the
Speaker 1: victim was attractive, and it never stops bothering me. I'm
Speaker 1: always like, okay, and I'm not even going to get
Speaker 1: into the whole like lights up a room like I want.
Speaker 1: I wonder though, sometimes when somebody's doing saying that somebody's
Speaker 1: being interviewed and they go, yeah, she would light up
Speaker 1: a room, I wonder if they know that's kind of
Speaker 1: like just a joke at this point to say that, Like, oh,
Speaker 1: how many memes and jokes are about lighting up a room?
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to light up a room because
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna get murdered. Hope no one describes okay,
Speaker 1: But the thing is a lot of times we'll be
Speaker 1: like she was so pretty. It's like, well, okay, but like,
Speaker 1: first of all, not everyone is pretty. So I really
Speaker 1: feel strongly that saying how attractive somebody is after they've
Speaker 1: died doesn't really do us that much good, except to
Speaker 1: say that I guess we would want that, aren't that attractive?
Speaker 3: Like we would want that if we were murdered.
Speaker 4: We want them that to be the first thing they'd
Speaker 4: say if we're you're a ghost and you're looking down
Speaker 4: at this date line, and'd be like, oh, it's nice.
Speaker 4: It helps takes the sting out of the murder a
Speaker 4: little bit. I think if you're the ghost of the person, like, oh,
Speaker 4: I think I'm pretty.
Speaker 3: What if there was like a dateline about you. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: so and then and then and they're like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: she was so beautiful, like everybody loved how beautiful she was.
Speaker 1: And then people wrote in in the comments and they're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, we so miss Cecily. I want to
Speaker 1: I don't want to use you because that's weird.
Speaker 3: Okay. What if there was a person, you know, and
Speaker 3: they're like, she was so beautiful and then people wrote
Speaker 3: in and they're like, I love this Cheryl is amazing,
Speaker 3: but she wasn't that hot at all, like she was
Speaker 3: always wouldn't read.
Speaker 4: The comments as a ghost. You wouldn't know as a
Speaker 4: ghost not to read the comments. Everyone knows not to
Speaker 4: read the comments, so that is like one oh one
Speaker 4: ghost time and.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, but you'd also feel bad if you're the
Speaker 1: person's like somebody who's close to the person, you'd be like,
Speaker 1: I wish they didn't say that in the first place
Speaker 1: so people didn't feel like they had to come set
Speaker 1: the record straight.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm gonna push back on this. I'm gonna
Speaker 4: tell you why I had. You know, we've had trolls
Speaker 4: in our lives, right, we both have had people say
Speaker 4: terrible things. And one time I had like somebody trolling
Speaker 4: me pretty hard at KZLA when I was doing morning radio.
Speaker 4: People told me just whenever. And sometimes they'll just say
Speaker 4: the meanest things and they'll.
Speaker 1: Be like, uugh, she's this, she's that whatever, and like
Speaker 1: all she has is her looks.
Speaker 3: Someone said that one time and I was like.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, Like seriously, all she's not funny, not
Speaker 1: a single thing she's as funny. I hated this book.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she just gets by because she's like cute.
Speaker 1: Oh that you know what?
Speaker 3: That helps a little? Thank you. I'll take it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sadly, nobody's done that with me.
Speaker 3: When I get trolled, it's always like Anne, she looks
Speaker 3: really old.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but what if they added like she is funny?
Speaker 4: I can't take that away from her. That doesn't help
Speaker 4: as much as it's.
Speaker 1: Pretty cute, though I can't take that away from her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, it doesn't happen all the time. Oh
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 4: One time, I remember, okay, I made a tweet that
Speaker 4: I regret to the end of days.
Speaker 3: I regret it so much.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes remember when we used to make tweets that were
Speaker 1: not great at it.
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm not saying I'm not on the level of like,
Speaker 4: remember that woman that was going to Africa.
Speaker 3: She was like a writer and she's the way to Africa.
Speaker 1: Favorite story in the entire world. I could talk about this.
Speaker 1: I could talk about this every episode of bord A
Speaker 1: f if you want to.
Speaker 3: Yes, I would very much like that.
Speaker 1: She whatever her name was, she was friends with our friends,
Speaker 1: like we have mutual friends with her, and I really yes,
Speaker 1: you know who was friends with her was Simpson's guy.
Speaker 1: We're not going to say the name we were calling
Speaker 1: him because that was just mean. Okay, we're beyond that.
Speaker 1: But they were buddies and he was all worried about her.
Speaker 1: It's like she was never the same after that. I
Speaker 1: was like, well, she tweeted something pretty fucking crazy, like
Speaker 1: she was kind of being funny it was. It was
Speaker 1: it felt like something you or I would say but
Speaker 1: to each other, but not on a tweet. No, Like, now,
Speaker 1: remind us again, since you like the stray what she tweeted.
Speaker 1: She gets on a plane.
Speaker 3: Yes, and she goes, I'm going to Africa.
Speaker 1: She goes, I'm going to Africa, and she goes, hope
Speaker 1: I don't get AIDS or something like that, and then
Speaker 1: she goes but she goes, just kidding, I'm white.
Speaker 4: Okay, we would not say that even as a joke.
Speaker 4: We wouldn't that Sarah Silverman let level thing that, Like,
Speaker 4: you know how we love Sarah's joke. And I always
Speaker 4: bring this up when we talk about this because there's
Speaker 4: a difference between her joke, which is just like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, like everybody's so weirded out about like Obama
Speaker 4: like being black. Remember that joke is like being black.
Speaker 4: It was like, you guys, be more positive. He's half white.
Speaker 1: I remember.
Speaker 3: It was just it was at her boyfriend.
Speaker 1: That's right, it was about Obama though.
Speaker 3: That was similar.
Speaker 1: But even okay, I'm agreeing with you, but also just
Speaker 1: saying like I wouldn't. Of course we know better, but
Speaker 1: she's not a professional. This woman was not a professional
Speaker 1: a writer. She was a professional working writer. She was
Speaker 1: like IPR or something. She was something not She was
Speaker 1: not a comedy person. She should never have been doing that.
Speaker 1: But people went crazy. Yes, by the time she got
Speaker 1: off the plane, she was one hundred percent canceled. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it was and look and it was crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like her life just completely spiraled.
Speaker 3: That sucks.
Speaker 4: And you're trying to make trying to make a joke again,
Speaker 4: but it's like there's no basis for the joke. It's
Speaker 4: just awful. It's just awful for the sake of being awful.
Speaker 4: Great basis is mean and it's whereas Sarah. But all
Speaker 4: I'm saying, and I'm not I am not defending her.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying that she wasn't meaning she wasn't actually
Speaker 4: saying like a straightforward but people can't. You can't do
Speaker 4: that because I mean, she wasn't like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: everybody in Africa has aids or whatever.
Speaker 1: She wasn't trying to do that. She was kind of
Speaker 1: trying to be sardonic. It just didn't work.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you what I said. So I this
Speaker 4: was on a tweet and luckily not a lot of
Speaker 4: people followed me. And I'm not going to say who
Speaker 4: the person was that I was joking about, but a
Speaker 4: movie star was posted with his wife, okay, and my
Speaker 4: joke was I posted under it whatever, I love the
Speaker 4: beard and I like the facial hair too, okay because
Speaker 4: this person.
Speaker 1: So you get it.
Speaker 4: And it wasn't out of the woke and I wasn't
Speaker 4: out someone. This is somebody that like it was kind
Speaker 4: of known. It's not a huge deal and it doesn't
Speaker 4: really matter, but I wouldn't tweet it again. And this
Speaker 4: person had this mega fan, this guy, this total crazy
Speaker 4: megafan of the person who attacked me for like a
Speaker 4: year after.
Speaker 3: This, from different accounts.
Speaker 4: I would block his account and he had like fifteen
Speaker 4: Twitter accounts and just kept coming and he was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, you're gonna make fun of him, like
Speaker 4: look at your fucking face. And then he would like
Speaker 4: do the thing read screenshot a picture of me and
Speaker 4: then make it like bigger, like find a part of
Speaker 4: my face that he didn't like you know people do that,
Speaker 4: oh yeah, And I was.
Speaker 1: Like holy shit, like what the hell?
Speaker 3: And I was like you know what, but he like,
Speaker 3: I never made that.
Speaker 4: I never made that joke. Again, not that bad, I
Speaker 4: sure got. I mean it was kind of fun. I
Speaker 4: like his beard, and I like it's facial here too. Now, look,
Speaker 4: I mean, is it my best day? Is it my
Speaker 4: best tweet? Is it my kindest tweet?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Would I tweet it now?
Speaker 3: Maybe? Yeah? Well?
Speaker 1: I also I said something back in my blogging days,
Speaker 1: and I will not even tell you what it was exactly.
Speaker 3: I'm over right, But I.
Speaker 1: Tweeted something that I thought I was being super funny.
Speaker 1: I thought I was being my sense of humor. I've
Speaker 1: told you what it is in the past.
Speaker 3: Uh. And I said something that came off as very
Speaker 3: offensive and racist, and I am not.
Speaker 1: I am not racist, I am offensive. And I really
Speaker 1: upset a woman from my community, not a black woman,
Speaker 1: but a woman who has adopted black children.
Speaker 3: And she was having none of me.
Speaker 1: And she I don't know if she wrote to me
Speaker 1: personally or if she was like, are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 3: Wait? What did you say?
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell you because it does because,
Speaker 1: of course, looking back, the same as you feel, I
Speaker 1: was just like, oh, yeah, that's that's not cute. That
Speaker 1: wasn't cute. I meant it to be so funny. And
Speaker 1: in not offensive, but it does come off as offensive.
Speaker 1: And at the time though, I do remember being like,
Speaker 1: oh my God, get a sense of humor, like that's crazy,
Speaker 1: and then later I was like, oh that that was not.
Speaker 3: Cool, like that cool.
Speaker 1: So we do think, we live and learn and we
Speaker 1: think more before we tweet things.
Speaker 3: Not everybody does well.
Speaker 1: We don't, or we just don't tweet at all.
Speaker 4: Or some people say really terrible racists and anti Semitic
Speaker 4: things and don't ever apologize for them at all.
Speaker 1: And they're not kidding, like they're not they're not and they're.
Speaker 3: Not kidding, and they say them to me in the
Speaker 3: company of.
Speaker 4: Other friends who don't say anything either, So that also happens,
Speaker 4: which is crazy. So not only is there not a
Speaker 4: crazy person that's like a megafan of the person. Let's
Speaker 4: say that I'm in God, we could all use somebody
Speaker 4: like that, like championing, you know, like for us.
Speaker 3: I'd love that.
Speaker 4: I don't know why this guy that came for me
Speaker 4: was so obsessed with the movie star that I was
Speaker 4: talking about. It was crazy, but I also in sanity
Speaker 4: what there were so many Twitter accounts just coming coming coming,
Speaker 4: and he was so stupid that he kept following his
Speaker 4: own Twitter.
Speaker 3: So the main guy followed his fake Twitter accounts.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I know this is the same person, right,
Speaker 4: I just kept reporting them and he finally went away.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, in conclusion to this little part of
Speaker 1: the story and we're getting to the other part of
Speaker 1: the story that has to do with murder. In conclusion,
Speaker 1: people on the Internet are out of their minds. Just
Speaker 1: go read just go read some of our reviews.
Speaker 4: I don't say people on the internet just people are
Speaker 4: out of the people are.
Speaker 3: Out of their minds.
Speaker 1: But the Internet that the anonymity of the internet, perceived anonymity,
Speaker 1: has made people that like, if they just don't like you,
Speaker 1: they will go to everywhere that you exist online to
Speaker 1: let people know that they hate you.
Speaker 3: And that's a sickness. It is sickness.
Speaker 4: And I wouldn't that be needed if there was like
Speaker 4: a potion that one day everybody there's just like a sprinkle,
Speaker 4: it's sprinkled on by a faery and that it lifts
Speaker 4: everybody's anonymous handles so you can see who everybody really
Speaker 4: is behind the keyboard.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, there'd be too many people to deal with.
Speaker 4: There'd be too much of a reckoning. What I would
Speaker 4: just be like a billion people that you have to
Speaker 4: be like what.
Speaker 1: What I think is funny is that? And this has
Speaker 1: happened on for crying out loud, So for you know,
Speaker 1: in almost any group you can you can comment anonymously. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but what people don't realize is the admin the moderate group,
Speaker 1: the moderator admin can just put the cursor over your
Speaker 1: name and see who you are. So I had somebody
Speaker 1: not that long ago even who decided they were going
Speaker 1: to say something like make a comment that was like
Speaker 1: really awful towards me anonymously, and people were like, oh dude,
Speaker 1: like you do realize that they can see you, like
Speaker 1: they know who you are. So of course, yes, I
Speaker 1: clicked on the name, I saw who it was. I
Speaker 1: kicked her out of the group like it's like you
Speaker 1: I and she felt really stupid. I think she took
Speaker 1: down the post immediately, but I still got rid of
Speaker 1: her because it was so mean spirited. But it was
Speaker 1: such a gotcha moment. It was so funny to just
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, you thought you did something.
Speaker 3: There and you say what that was or was it not?
Speaker 3: Isn't not? I don't even remember.
Speaker 1: I honestly don't remember. I wouldn't mind telling you what
Speaker 1: somebody else said about me, but yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 1: genuinely don't remember. It was just they thought they were
Speaker 1: so funny, so cute. Oh we see you.
Speaker 3: Check that everybody?
Speaker 1: Yeah, check you? Who got to check me?
Speaker 3: Boo? I am that's right now.
Speaker 4: The reason all this murdershit came up is because I
Speaker 4: was scrolling. I had like ten minutes off work a
Speaker 4: twelve hour day and that, and Stuffie knows that's true.
Speaker 4: It's about ten minutes that I waited for my food.
Speaker 4: That by the way, door Dash took the first round
Speaker 4: of my food.
Speaker 1: What do you mean you like you couldn't get it?
Speaker 4: Oh, because the guy sent me a message on the app.
Speaker 4: I didn't even see it on my phone.
Speaker 1: And he was like I tried to buzz up but
Speaker 1: it wouldn't buzz so then he just left.
Speaker 3: So I messaged back.
Speaker 4: I was like, well come back, I'm right here also,
Speaker 4: and then he just never wrote back, and I was like,
Speaker 4: so you just took my food because you know they
Speaker 4: don't take it back to the place, right, They wouldn't
Speaker 4: even take it back. So I'm like, so I just
Speaker 4: paid forty five dollars, like what? So then I had
Speaker 4: to reorder again talk to door dash. I was proud
Speaker 4: of myself for the way I handled it this time,
Speaker 4: which is still not like as good as what some
Speaker 4: people would do. There's still a lot of like I
Speaker 4: stayed calm and wasn't as upset, but I do stay.
Speaker 4: I did say things like not really that hard right
Speaker 4: to like take it, like pick up the thing and
Speaker 4: then just like deliver, just like drive it and deliver it.
Speaker 4: Not hard, right, And the lady's like, man, what would
Speaker 4: you like me to do? I'm like, redeliver it and
Speaker 4: also take the tip off. I'm not tipping that guy
Speaker 4: that didn't deliver it because it's all automatically on there,
Speaker 4: and like, yeah, the tip doesn't get refunded.
Speaker 1: I'm like take the tip off, refund that. And they're like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: you sure you want the whole tip refunded.
Speaker 3: I'm like, were they going to sound pretty different though? Yeah?
Speaker 4: And then I said I will tip them separately. If
Speaker 4: they show up, I will tip them. I'm not tipping.
Speaker 4: I'm not pre tipping, so take the other tip off.
Speaker 4: Like okay, so I did I just cash them anyway.
Speaker 4: In conclusion, they suck and I said it. They're not
Speaker 4: a sponsor of mine, they don't own me. Fuck you
Speaker 4: door Dash, fuck you murder, fuck you Twitter. That's how
Speaker 4: I feel today.
Speaker 1: Okay, So in my ten minutes off, I was like
Speaker 1: chowing down on my taco I took put on CNN,
Speaker 1: and on CNN they were discussing apparently a very popular murder.
Speaker 1: Right now, a guy named Brian Walsh has been accused
Speaker 1: of murdering his wife. Now, I didn't know anything about
Speaker 1: this murder, and I watched literally four minutes of this,
Speaker 1: and I have such strong opinions.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, yeah, he did it. Well, he didn't
Speaker 3: clearly do it.
Speaker 1: You don't know that because he's on trial, right, did
Speaker 1: he clear Okay, well, he's on the five of this trial.
Speaker 1: By the way, he admitted to He basically admitted to it.
Speaker 1: Then he just did yeah, Oh that's not as fine.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about it, though, I think, so let's look
Speaker 1: it up. So I'm on c and I'm just.
Speaker 3: Going to read you what we know.
Speaker 1: The first week of testimony of this guy, Brian Walsh's
Speaker 1: murder trial in Massachusetts has come to an end. The
Speaker 1: jury heard from two dozen witnesses called by the Commonwealth
Speaker 1: in its case against walsher prosecutor's work to prove that
Speaker 1: he killed his wife. Her name was Anna Walsh around
Speaker 1: New Year's Day twenty twenty three.
Speaker 4: God, that's so long ago. That's three years ago. Yeah, oh,
Speaker 4: you're right. Unbeknownst to the jury, Walsh had already pleaded
Speaker 4: has already pleaded guilty way to misleading police after her
Speaker 4: disappearance and in properly disposing of his wife's body.
Speaker 3: But he maintains hold on, but he maintains he did
Speaker 3: not kill her. They always posed her body. He just
Speaker 3: disposed of her body. But he was like, how did
Speaker 3: this body get here?
Speaker 1: That's makings he did not kill the corporate real estate manager.
Speaker 1: They put that in there like they do at fifty six. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, you know, they said her age,
Speaker 1: the corporate real estate manager and mother of three. He
Speaker 1: faced his life in prison without the possibility of parole
Speaker 1: if convicted.
Speaker 3: We'll all say so they okay. So.
Speaker 1: A Massachusetts state trooper who started testifying on Thursday, continued
Speaker 1: to tell the jury data that he processed from Brian
Speaker 1: Walsh's phone.
Speaker 3: I love when there's like texts.
Speaker 4: I always think that's interesting, including messages and calls recorded
Speaker 4: between his and Anna's device. Okay, a retired state trooper
Speaker 4: took the stand. Blah blah blah, just said that could
Speaker 4: admit more physical evidence into the record, including a hack
Speaker 4: saw a hatchet. He didn't do it there, Come on,
Speaker 4: be fair that were recovered from a dumpster near the
Speaker 4: apartment complex where his mother lived.
Speaker 3: Ooh, that's fair, very scary. Prosecutors have worked this week
Speaker 3: to show the jury evidence.
Speaker 4: Okay, so there was a hacks all on a hatchet,
Speaker 4: but that could be explained in many ways.
Speaker 3: It was Thanksgiving. Wait, no, it wasn't even Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: Then there was a medical examiner who testified, telling the
Speaker 1: jury about this guy's efforts to determine whether he googled
Speaker 1: whether human tissue could be detected on some of those
Speaker 1: on the items. Wait, telling the jury about, oh, his
Speaker 1: efforts to determine whether any human tissue could So maybe
Speaker 1: it's the medical examiner's efforts, not the guy. He expected
Speaker 1: to retake the trial on Monday, So he's coming back
Speaker 1: this guy to be like, yeah, there may or may
Speaker 1: not have been human tissue in the garbage.
Speaker 4: We'll find out. But then there's text messages. Okay, what
Speaker 4: have we not know?
Speaker 1: You knew about this guy this whole week and you haven't. No,
Speaker 1: I didn't, That's what I'm saying. I when you said, hey,
Speaker 1: we should talk about this murder guy, and I was
Speaker 1: literally like, what murder guy?
Speaker 3: In my mind?
Speaker 1: I said it though out loud to myself in my mind.
Speaker 1: So I look it up and then I immediately saw
Speaker 1: that he'd already he'd confessed or whatever.
Speaker 3: We kind of confessed, it says.
Speaker 4: Data from his cell phone shows messages sent to Anna,
Speaker 4: his wife, her cell phone between January tewond and fourth
Speaker 4: after her death.
Speaker 3: Now that's odd, don't you think.
Speaker 1: So she died around New Year's Day, but he sent
Speaker 1: text messages.
Speaker 3: What yeah, they all do that.
Speaker 1: They all fucking do that. That's the thing to go, Like, what,
Speaker 1: I didn't know she was dead? I was texting her.
Speaker 3: She says.
Speaker 1: Yeah. At the time, he told investigators she hadn't seen
Speaker 1: or heard from his wife since she left for a
Speaker 1: flight to DC to handle a work emergency at six
Speaker 1: am on New Year's Day. Okay, So, his defense attorney
Speaker 1: told the jury in their opening statement that Walsh found
Speaker 1: his wife dead in their bed in the early hours
Speaker 1: of New Year's Day, and he panicked and then lied
Speaker 1: to investigators.
Speaker 3: She just died. I don't even know how she would
Speaker 3: have died, so I don't want messages.
Speaker 1: And then he said, oh, this is crazy what he did.
Speaker 4: Then after he knew, so now he's like, okay, yeah, sorry,
Speaker 4: she was dead. I freaked out and I did dismember
Speaker 4: her with a hack saw, which they found a hatchet
Speaker 4: and everything. I did all that, but then he sent
Speaker 4: the cell phone messages were sent from Brian's phone to
Speaker 4: his wife's.
Speaker 1: Phone, but were never delivered. Okay, hold on, My thing
Speaker 1: just jumped a little bit, that is Ooh.
Speaker 3: The thing is he was very big mad because she
Speaker 3: was having an affair.
Speaker 1: Oh really yes, oh this guy, yeah, this guy wait
Speaker 1: under her boyfriend, the guy she was having an affair with,
Speaker 1: is going to take the stand.
Speaker 4: I'm so confused by these really, he's oh my god, Well,
Speaker 4: how did we know the boyfriend didn't do it?
Speaker 1: Because he didn't do it because she was he was
Speaker 1: she was murdered in bed with her freaking husband. Now
Speaker 1: I'm confused by this text that was sent at two
Speaker 1: thirty three pm January second, Hello, So Thomas found.
Speaker 4: The phone playing on Williams's bed. On William's bed, so
Speaker 4: maybe that's their kids. Williams said he forgot it was there. Haha, Okay,
Speaker 4: call anytime. At seven eighteen, he wrote, Hello, where are you?
Speaker 1: No question mark? These call text or email? Exhausting day
Speaker 1: with the boys and we had fun. No punctuation at
Speaker 1: this point. Going to bed early, Big day tomorrow for everyone.
Speaker 1: I still love you.
Speaker 3: How you talk to somebody, That's how you talk to
Speaker 3: somebody who's like missing. But he admits that he found
Speaker 3: her dead in the bed and dismembered her.
Speaker 4: So and then he sent all these Listen to these texts.
Speaker 4: January third, Hello, thirty in the morning, thirty nine or
Speaker 4: are you?
Speaker 3: No question marks? Six thirty nine. I'm worried? Please call
Speaker 3: it or email? Eight thirty am. Where are you? I
Speaker 3: just called and went straight to voicemail. Call you in
Speaker 3: Viber now.
Speaker 4: Eight thirty two. I will call after I dropped the boys.
Speaker 4: If I don't hear from me this morning, I'm going
Speaker 4: to report you missing. At twelve sixteen pm, Hello, I
Speaker 4: texted your sister and Alyssa. I'm calling Jeff if I
Speaker 4: don't hear from you?
Speaker 3: Where are you? Seven oh three?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 3: Seven o four?
Speaker 1: Where are you? The boys and I are worried. I'm
Speaker 1: calling work tomorrow if I don't hear from you. It's
Speaker 1: been like four days. Yeah, you would have called the
Speaker 1: police by now, where are you? So many question marks?
Speaker 1: I'm calling Jeff. Defense seeks to discredit investigation. Defense attorney
Speaker 1: Larry Tipton spent more than two hours cross examining Keith
Speaker 1: the guy who's talking about these messages about the investigation
Speaker 1: into the disappearance that turned into murder.
Speaker 3: Now what's he talking about? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: He suggested investigators could have expanded their search of Waltz's
Speaker 1: devices beyond the limited window of December twenty fifth through
Speaker 1: January eighth.
Speaker 3: So what is their fault for? Yeah, so it's their
Speaker 3: fault for not being going over his devices. Right.
Speaker 1: A wider look at the phone usage would show the
Speaker 1: jury innocuous searches for movies, restaurants, and wine.
Speaker 4: What does that have to do with anything? And he's
Speaker 4: just the timeline revealed by the own activity. No grizzly
Speaker 4: searches about how to dispose of a body or clean
Speaker 4: up blood occurred in the morning of January.
Speaker 1: First, that's the defense.
Speaker 4: The defense is like, well, he did not google how
Speaker 4: to clean up a dead body?
Speaker 3: Did not google that?
Speaker 4: And if you want to sleep tonight, let this man
Speaker 4: go free. Oh my god, this is like, this is
Speaker 4: like almost wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a joke.
Speaker 1: I mean, these these defense attorneys sometimes come up with
Speaker 1: the craziest bullshit.
Speaker 3: He did not google anything like that. He just googled,
Speaker 3: like where to get good wine. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So even though he clearly he does admit that he
Speaker 1: did dismember the body, wouldn't if he really was also
Speaker 1: the murderer. Would he not have googled like how to
Speaker 1: murder somebody?
Speaker 4: Like, come on, he just found her dead and was like,
Speaker 4: oh no, I should dismantle, I should crash bags dismantle.
Speaker 4: It remains unclear whether Brian will take the stand on
Speaker 4: his own defense. His attorney has said that the defense
Speaker 4: would present evidence that he found his wife dead in
Speaker 4: their bed in the early hours of New Year's Day
Speaker 4: and then he panicked and led to police. Tipton also
Speaker 4: said the jury would hear we already said all this.
Speaker 4: Before sending the panel home for the weekend, The judge
Speaker 4: said the attorneys appeared to be working a bit ahead
Speaker 4: of schedule. Oh, everyone's doing a great job.
Speaker 3: Guys. You guys are doing so good. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: how exciting.
Speaker 1: I mean, we talked about this in case anyone didn't
Speaker 1: listen to our p didty coverage. We talked about this
Speaker 1: the whole documentary. But sometimes jurors can be really fucking dumb.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yes, And if they don't sequester people
Speaker 1: and they just start reading up on stuff, like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're not going to prevent that. You're not gonna you
Speaker 1: can you can be like, hey, guys, come on seriously,
Speaker 1: like and I'm being very serious right now, this is
Speaker 1: me the judge speaking. When you go home, do not
Speaker 1: google shit, like just mind your own business, don't go
Speaker 1: on your phone, like don't want to be.
Speaker 3: To be And they're like, uh, we're gonna do that.
Speaker 1: And then the one guy's like, you can't have all
Speaker 1: the spoils, you can't get the fur coat from Diddy,
Speaker 1: and then like not get hit in the hallway. Right
Speaker 1: that guy went on record saying that, yeah, he went
Speaker 1: on a documentary.
Speaker 4: I hope he loses his job. I hope people are pissed,
Speaker 4: but he won't. They won't be no.
Speaker 1: On Reddit a day ago, people were talking about the
Speaker 1: Brian Walsh case and they're like anyone else watching this
Speaker 1: and scratching your head at his defense.
Speaker 3: Defense.
Speaker 4: It's like, so I get that he pled guilty to
Speaker 4: disposing of the wife's body. And I heard a YouTuber
Speaker 4: say that this was really smart because now the prosecution
Speaker 4: would need to prove premeditation.
Speaker 3: Don't they have that?
Speaker 1: Well not, they can. They have to prove it. The
Speaker 1: premeditation would be that he meant to kill her, and
Speaker 1: he can easily claim the second degree.
Speaker 3: But he says, lying, you.
Speaker 1: Should get in the way of that, like when you're saying, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I didn't kill her at all. I just hacked up
Speaker 1: her body.
Speaker 3: I'm very good at like a hacking job, like dismemberment.
Speaker 3: That's kind of more my thing. But like, oh, I
Speaker 3: would never kill somebody. Yeah, and I think he did
Speaker 3: look stuff up.
Speaker 4: They're just saying he didn't do it that day because
Speaker 4: someone else wrote, Oh, come on, it's totally possible that
Speaker 4: his wife just happened to die of completely natural causes
Speaker 4: shortly after he did all those searches, which I guess
Speaker 4: he did. Look how to saw a body who was
Speaker 4: so stupid while in bed a bed. It doesn't appear
Speaker 4: that he typically slept in with her, but casually did
Speaker 4: that night after going back downstairs to clean the kitchen,
Speaker 4: and he just nudged her and her dead body fell
Speaker 4: out of the bed, her dead body, which was apparently
Speaker 4: fully dressed, including a coat and boots, and it freaked
Speaker 4: him out so much that he googled the worst possible
Speaker 4: things ever and then proceeded to follow the directions of
Speaker 4: those things that he was provided and chopped her up
Speaker 4: and disposed of her around town and admittedly lied about
Speaker 4: the last around town. Yes, because he did some of
Speaker 4: it in his some of it at his mom's apartment.
Speaker 3: Remember, why is this a Norman? He's kind of guy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and what a waste of like everybody's time. Mom, Oh
Speaker 3: my god.
Speaker 4: The part about him coming downstairs in the middle of
Speaker 4: the night to do New Year's Eve dinner dishes is
Speaker 4: wild to me. Someone says, Oh, is it wild? We're
Speaker 4: not using that word, you guys. It's all crazy, but
Speaker 4: that somehow does me in it came down to do
Speaker 4: after she died. Yeah, he cleaned the kitchen because he's
Speaker 4: a great guy. Someone said, it's the boots in the
Speaker 4: bed that got me.
Speaker 3: He helps out he's the boot.
Speaker 4: Yes, he's in the bed, but seriously, why are you
Speaker 4: going to say she was in bed when she was
Speaker 4: fully dressed with boots on all this time and he
Speaker 4: couldn't figure out a better unexplained death story. I'm only
Speaker 4: watching recaps of this one, but pretty confident that he
Speaker 4: will get justice.
Speaker 3: I don't know these days. Yeah, I don't even know. Like,
Speaker 3: who knows he did?
Speaker 1: If you watch the whole documentary about Diddy, it was
Speaker 1: pretty fucking obvious that he's a horrible person who committed
Speaker 1: a lot of other crimes and he did not get justice.
Speaker 4: Wait, there's a pornhub file here. Did you hear about
Speaker 4: the pornhub thing? No, the reason they spent so long
Speaker 4: with the computer forensic witness about the porn hub files
Speaker 4: has everything to do with the narrative that the prosecution
Speaker 4: is building. Wait, what's the porn hub thing?
Speaker 3: Hold on? Uh?
Speaker 4: Prosecution highlighted was about a cheating wife, Whilesha's lawyer was
Speaker 4: trying to show that his client might not have searched
Speaker 4: for porn about cheating, but had a preference for a
Speaker 4: particular actress. So he had googled something about cheating, but
Speaker 4: something about porn came up. But he's trying to say
Speaker 4: He's like, no, he just liked that porn star. It
Speaker 4: wasn't like he was looking into that at all.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, do people come down so hard.
Speaker 1: It's like, sometimes I happen to love an actress who
Speaker 1: mostly does okay, only does porn. It's not last I
Speaker 1: just got better every day, he gets better.
Speaker 3: What the hell. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I love these excuses, because listen, if you have a
Speaker 1: defense attorney and you're saying I want to plead guilt.
Speaker 1: I want to plead not guilty, they have to say shit.
Speaker 1: They can't just be like, I.
Speaker 3: Listen, your guess is as good as mine. I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, it sure seems like he did it, but
Speaker 1: I'm saying he didn't, So you have to come up
Speaker 1: with some I don't want.
Speaker 3: To use the word kaka mamie. This person said something
Speaker 3: really funnyka mamie. Okay.
Speaker 4: Brian has the air and most arrogant look about him.
Speaker 4: It reminds me of I'm not sure, is it Michael Peterson.
Speaker 4: I think they mean that's not his name, Michael.
Speaker 1: Michael Peterson is the staircase guy, Scott Peterson. You're right,
Speaker 1: Peterson who We watched several documentaries about who who people
Speaker 1: actually were like, yeah, I don't know, like I think
Speaker 1: that maybe the owl did it.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, the owl might have. And then I believed
Speaker 3: that for a while. Remember I'm like, no, you did.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't you you were no, I never did, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: a hundred percent.
Speaker 3: I was like, that's insane, sou I did you know?
Speaker 3: This was kind of like maybe it was the owl.
Speaker 1: I don't think so that.
Speaker 4: We'll have to I'm gonna have to go back and
Speaker 4: listen just to make sure. I might have to go listen.
Speaker 4: I don't know where that is. That was early on, yeah,
Speaker 4: early anyway, this is the last thing I'll say. But
Speaker 4: someone did a graph on an earlier post of all
Speaker 4: his searches. I wish they'd put that out. It's mind
Speaker 4: boggling how many searches he did. Like what an idiot?
Speaker 4: You know better than this. You know they can look
Speaker 4: that shit up.
Speaker 3: It's crazy. You're the husband. How are you not like, okay,
Speaker 3: the last thing, go to a fucking library and look, Yeah,
Speaker 3: why are you just googling from your computer dumbass.
Speaker 4: The prosecution is alleging Anna's infidelity is one of the
Speaker 4: motives for Brian killing her. Yeah, but they have no
Speaker 4: evidence indicating to that he even knew of her infidelity.
Speaker 1: But they're saying that, yes he did. He was looking
Speaker 1: up like cheating and then tried to say, oh no, no,
Speaker 1: that's just like porn.
Speaker 3: I'm into like cheap porn. Oh my god, cheat. Oh
Speaker 3: are you guys? Oh are you guys? Kink shaming me?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: Is that what's going on?
Speaker 1: Like the lawyers like, okay, your honor, I object kink shaming.
Speaker 4: Kink shaming, And it's like sustained. All they have is
Speaker 4: cheating wives porn in his browser history.
Speaker 3: Oh that's it.
Speaker 4: They don't have whether he watched this category of porn.
Speaker 4: This could be a category he was always into. They
Speaker 4: don't know whether the actress was someone Brian preferred. They
Speaker 4: don't have him searching for the category, and they don't
Speaker 4: know how he got the video. Could have just been
Speaker 4: a video suggestion from the porn site, you know, like
Speaker 4: pornhub is always giving you suggestion.
Speaker 3: Right when you're looking up like threesomes. They're like, but
Speaker 3: what about like sums? What about an orgy.
Speaker 1: Hey, I saw you were looking at threesomes. Would you
Speaker 1: be interested in orgy? Or cheating wife porn? Yes, the
Speaker 1: cheating wife.
Speaker 3: This is the worst guy.
Speaker 4: I don't even all right, let me give you this, okay,
Speaker 4: let me give you this.
Speaker 3: This guy.
Speaker 4: He's there Hill, Yes, this guy, Michael Peterson and Keith Ranieri.
Speaker 1: Well you obviously, Mary, Keith. You didn't kill anybody. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he just branding people. That's that's that's.
Speaker 4: Looking good, Alison mac really is the one who did it.
Speaker 4: To be fair, I mean, he didn't actually do it.
Speaker 1: You're so right, You're so right. He's way preferable at
Speaker 1: this time. I'm writing him immediately. I'm not.
Speaker 3: Do you guys think I'm hitting, But I am writing him,
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna do it right now.
Speaker 1: I bet you can just do that. Let's do it,
Speaker 1: let's do together. Hold on, How do I write a prisoner?
Speaker 1: How that's going to be in my Google search? How
Speaker 1: that's okay? How do I write? Be more specific? Say,
Speaker 1: how do I write a letter to Keith Ranieri? How
Speaker 1: do you spell his last name?
Speaker 3: Are uh? Ranieri? R A N I E R E.
Speaker 3: Let's see, let's see what happens.
Speaker 4: Ai says, he's currently an inmate and a high security
Speaker 4: federal prison, So you can write to him via the
Speaker 4: US Postal Service, subject to the rules and monitoring of Okay,
Speaker 4: So how do you send a letter? To send a
Speaker 4: letter to Keith Renary, says Chatbox, you will need his
Speaker 4: correct inmate ID number and the address.
Speaker 3: Of the Okay, so I could do that. I get
Speaker 3: it for me chat GPT, Like that's what you're asking for.
Speaker 1: You're like, it'll just give you anything and then just
Speaker 1: say it says uh oh, no contact orders. Some individuals
Speaker 1: involved in the Nexium case are specifically barred by core
Speaker 1: order from contacting Keith Renary. But that and it says,
Speaker 1: but this does not affect the general public's ability to
Speaker 1: write to him through official channel. So hell yeah, Alison mackant,
Speaker 1: So what are we going to say to him?
Speaker 3: We're gonna say, maybe we don't.
Speaker 1: This feels like a bad idea as I look into it,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I want to be like in the
Speaker 1: crosshairs of this man. How do we do it?
Speaker 4: From like an anonymous Like, I don't want to Now
Speaker 4: I've said it, now it's out there.
Speaker 3: Now I'm feeling now he's expecting it. He listens to
Speaker 3: our podcast, so now he's like, are you writing to
Speaker 3: me or not?
Speaker 1: Though, dang, I wonder if to podcasts. I bet they can,
Speaker 1: and they can watch HBO. They can do a lot
Speaker 1: of things. Oh my god, how do I.
Speaker 3: Would it be the worst thing to be in jail?
Speaker 1: So it depends on the jail knows how much money
Speaker 1: you have. Diddy's is probably not that bad somehow, right man,
Speaker 1: They're making it too hard for me.
Speaker 4: They know I'm not going to find the idea, Like, listen,
Speaker 4: if somebody listening can find his inmate ID number and
Speaker 4: but then let's figure out ooh, I may have found
Speaker 4: it Department of Justice Gov.
Speaker 1: I'm scared to click on it because it looks like
Speaker 1: kind of a crazy website. It's giving me that information,
Speaker 1: so we'll put a pin.
Speaker 4: We'll put a pin in that for now, maybe for
Speaker 4: the Maybe he shouldn't get mail. But I'm so interested
Speaker 4: in like what he would say, how do you feel?
Speaker 4: Do you feel like you're fucked over? I'm a brilliant lady.
Speaker 4: You should marry me.
Speaker 3: You could do worse, you could do with one of
Speaker 3: these other guys. Oh yeah, you have to choose. Okay,
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna marry Keith Ranieri.
Speaker 1: Then I got this guy that just his guy and
Speaker 1: you guy, and then I have Scott Peterson or Michael Peterson. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna have sex with Michael Peterson, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why because.
Speaker 3: He seems kind of nice like he Yes, he did.
Speaker 3: He killed two wives, two of his wives.
Speaker 1: Yes, that was Scott what Scott?
Speaker 3: Scott Peterson killed two wives.
Speaker 1: No, Scott Peterson is the one that took that killed
Speaker 1: his pregnant wife. He killed Lacy killed Yes, No, he
Speaker 1: only killed Lacey and her unborn child. Michael killed two. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he killed his previous wife. And then he was on
Speaker 1: trial for the second wife. Then they started going back
Speaker 1: and investigating, remember, and they both fell down the stairs.
Speaker 3: Mmm. So he's not that smart and I just feel
Speaker 3: like I just feel like he's i somehow more harmless.
Speaker 3: He didn't like chop up any bodies. He just called
Speaker 3: the police and cried, I'm going.
Speaker 4: To push back, okay, and I'm not gonna have So
Speaker 4: who do you decide you're going to marry Keith I
Speaker 4: think I have sex with this other guy, the guy.
Speaker 3: The one who's on trial right now.
Speaker 4: Over the guy that pushed two women down the stairs.
Speaker 4: I mean it's tricky because like one has a higher
Speaker 4: murder rap but the other like, yeah he did some googling.
Speaker 4: I don't know, man, this is this is a tough one.
Speaker 4: This is a real pick.
Speaker 3: Well, you have to pick.
Speaker 1: You've never one time let me off the hook. You've
Speaker 1: never one time been like, Okay, that is You're right,
Speaker 1: it is hard.
Speaker 4: You don't have to no, of course not, that's not
Speaker 4: the game. Wouldn't be fine if that, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean, then we would all just be like none
Speaker 4: of it. And I hate when guys when I try
Speaker 4: to make guys do it in the big I'd fuck
Speaker 4: all of them.
Speaker 3: Then I'd kill them all. Like, you can't do that.
Speaker 3: That's what kind of guys are you hanging out with?
Speaker 3: You know, guys guys that I date that are just like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'd murder them all. You're like, oh huh oh oh,
Speaker 3: what did I say?
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I'm gonna marry Keith, but it looks like
Speaker 1: I might do that anyway.
Speaker 3: I'm very interested. I am going to I think.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna I can't have sex with Michael. I can't
Speaker 4: have sex with Michael Peterson. I don't know this other
Speaker 4: guy seems like he might be sexier, sexier.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, I mean it's tricky, but that's that's
Speaker 1: what I'm choosing. And I'm I'm letting go the owl guy. Okay,
Speaker 1: do you wanna do you want to tackle with me?
Speaker 3: This? This? What? This one last topic?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 3: Sure? Because we were talking about.
Speaker 1: Like jobs that are hard, and I've I've had a few,
Speaker 1: and writing jobs can be hard, and bosses can be
Speaker 1: can be hard, and I've I've experienced this in my life.
Speaker 1: And I was remembering and I did read you all
Speaker 1: of this, but it was several years ago, a frustrating
Speaker 1: so many years ago. I well, many many times over
Speaker 1: my life, I've been like, I need another gig, I
Speaker 1: need something fun to do. And I have this friend
Speaker 1: named Wendy, she's still I'm still friendly with her, who
Speaker 1: is a comedy writer. And she was writing these funny
Speaker 1: things called some e cards okay, and they were they
Speaker 1: were like these funny yeah, they were like, well you'll see.
Speaker 1: So my Wendy was like, oh, you should totally do it.
Speaker 1: Here's the guy's email address. Here, just do a page
Speaker 1: of just do some submissions. So I read them and
Speaker 1: I did submissions, and then I got and it was
Speaker 1: this guy. I think I even said his name last time,
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to say his name this time. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: but let's we can say his first name. His first
Speaker 1: name is Dan. He's still around, by the way. So
Speaker 1: I sent him these things and he said, do you
Speaker 1: I think did he say? He said, I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you feedback.
Speaker 3: I guess. I asked why. Oh, he was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't like these.
Speaker 1: Basically, First of all, I'm a fucking professional comedy writer and.
Speaker 3: I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I would never want to be like ego centric about this.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't that hard.
Speaker 3: I mean, hell, I wrote.
Speaker 1: Fashion Police for four years, so you know I can
Speaker 1: write a joke. No, But I mean I've done a
Speaker 1: lot of this stuff. I've already done. I was a
Speaker 1: stand I think because because this was like after I
Speaker 1: had a baby, so I'd already been a comedy writer
Speaker 1: on many shows. You know what I mean, I know
Speaker 1: how to do this. He could have redirected me, but
Speaker 1: he was like no, can't. We can't take you on
Speaker 1: at this point. By the way, this was like a
Speaker 1: stringer type job. So all you were doing is just
Speaker 1: from home sending in jokes and if they wanted one,
Speaker 1: they'd pay you like twenty bucks. I was not going
Speaker 1: to be get maybe ten dollars. I was not going
Speaker 1: to be getting rich. They didn't have to write take
Speaker 1: any of my material. It wasn't a full time job,
Speaker 1: do you know what I'm saying. It was like the
Speaker 1: lowest stakes ever to be. It was like he could
Speaker 1: have it. He could take none of my jokes at
Speaker 1: any time. He basically said, no, you can't even submit
Speaker 1: stuff once a week.
Speaker 3: Let alone. You wouldn't get paid if you didn't get
Speaker 3: stuff in. So let's just say you sent in twenty
Speaker 3: things and they took three of them, you'd make thirty dollars.
Speaker 3: He basically was saying, no, you can't try to make
Speaker 3: thirty dollars. Sorry, not good enough. So here's his email
Speaker 3: to me, Stephanie. As you requested, I'm going to give
Speaker 3: feedback on these lines. This is what I've done for
Speaker 3: every contributor since I started here. The goal is to
Speaker 3: prepare people for the daily assignment. And then in parentheses
Speaker 3: a bit like the practice when I sent you, so
Speaker 3: that we don't waste anyone's time if it's not the
Speaker 3: right fit. So here goes Okay, So here was my
Speaker 3: Here was my joke. Let's coordinate our calendars to make
Speaker 3: some hot monkey love. Mm hmm okay.
Speaker 1: So and keep in mind, these cards are like just
Speaker 1: old fashioned. It's like old fashioned people, like from the
Speaker 1: nineteen hundreds. So that's the joke. Is kind of like,
Speaker 1: it's too like old fashioned people. And it's me going,
Speaker 1: let's coordinate our calendars to make some hot monkey love. Okay,
Speaker 1: he writes, coordinating the calendars for sex is definitely a
Speaker 1: funny premise, but we never use hot monkey love. Also,
Speaker 1: the line needs a bit more of a turn dot
Speaker 1: dot dot maybe.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: Now here's his suggestion. You're gonna remember this is gonna
Speaker 1: cut remind you of This was his suggestion to me.
Speaker 1: You know this might be better. Let's core, we need
Speaker 1: our calendars for a night to have sex, because we're
Speaker 1: at a point in our relationship where we need to
Speaker 1: do that. And then and then he wrote, was he
Speaker 1: still he wrote, still not right?
Speaker 3: But you see my point?
Speaker 1: No, I don't see your point, Dan, Let's coordinate our
Speaker 1: calendars to make some hot monkey love, or you guys
Speaker 1: can weigh in on this. Let's coordinate our calendars for
Speaker 1: a night to have sex because we're at a point
Speaker 1: in our relationship where we need to do that. So that,
Speaker 1: I guess that's much better. Okay, Okay, give you another one.
Speaker 1: The next one is happy birthday. I'd call, but my phone,
Speaker 1: my phone's at three percent? Good right, Okay?
Speaker 3: He wrote, the sigh is implied, okay.
Speaker 1: In parentheses, he wrote, this is two sentences and also
Speaker 1: not really a card you'd send someone.
Speaker 3: Yet what I mean is anything of the think about it.
Speaker 3: First of all, you send the card. It's like an
Speaker 3: E card, so it's not like you're putting it in
Speaker 3: the mail and sending it to somebody. And then they
Speaker 3: start going like, well, was your phone at three percent?
Speaker 3: When like you sent the card like it's an E card?
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you remember this guy because I made you
Speaker 1: look him up on Facebook because I want to see
Speaker 1: like what he was doing. Now now I can't remember
Speaker 1: his last name, but so he gave me help for
Speaker 1: this one too. Happy Birthday to the one person I'd
Speaker 1: call even if my phone were at three percent. Okay,
Speaker 1: point taken, right, that's that's a that's a positive spin
Speaker 1: on it. But is it different enough to be like, no,
Speaker 1: you can't write for.
Speaker 3: Us, right? Is it like you know what, just you're
Speaker 3: not there, you're not getting it? Okay?
Speaker 1: So then I wrote, here's my next one. If I
Speaker 1: were if I was in prison, I totally want you
Speaker 1: to be my bitch.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: So he wrote no exclamation points, so there was an
Speaker 1: exclamation put it. Then he wrote no exclamation point and
Speaker 1: also it's been done, like.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's been done on an E card apparently.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: So my next one was so glad I write swiped
Speaker 1: and he just wrote same as above.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, but like if I'm obviously.
Speaker 1: In the vein, right, Like, why wouldn't you want somebody
Speaker 1: who gets what you're doing to continue to submit stuff
Speaker 1: and then you don't take it if it's been done. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's another one. I think this one's funny. Here's hoping
Speaker 1: your iOS update doesn't fuck up your day. So he
Speaker 1: wrote in parentheses, we don't really curse that often, and
Speaker 1: like many jokes lines with cursing, this is a little vague?
Speaker 1: How is it fucking up your life?
Speaker 3: Here's hoping. And then he gave me. He gave me
Speaker 3: a rewrite. Here's hoping. Your biggest problem this week is
Speaker 3: somehow related to the iOS update.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, wait, okay, tell me again his last name.
Speaker 4: I think it's fair that we look him up, I
Speaker 4: mean over, okay, d I remember this from last time.
Speaker 4: But hold let me find it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let me just how is this? How is this better?
Speaker 3: Here's hoping. Your biggest problem this week is somehow related
Speaker 3: to the iOS update. I think you just made it
Speaker 3: one hundred times worse, Dan, that.
Speaker 1: Doesn't what I mean there.
Speaker 3: I think I almost feel like there's something maybe wrong
Speaker 3: with him. So then I wrote, well, he hires people. Okay,
Speaker 3: So here's another one. I only have.
Speaker 1: I have a few more that are I think good.
Speaker 1: So I wrote this one. Congratulations on your promotion. You're
Speaker 1: great at looking busy. That's funny, right, He just wrote
Speaker 1: two sentences, my god, Okay, I could have just put
Speaker 1: a dash in between it.
Speaker 3: Like, or I could have just not made it two
Speaker 3: sentences like why would you be?
Speaker 1: Like? I can't I can't hire you. So I here's
Speaker 1: another one. Let's go somewhere super romantic and obsessively check
Speaker 1: our phones together. Okay, So then he wrote, this is
Speaker 1: a good one and totally fits the voice of the site. Sadly,
Speaker 1: we've done one sort of like it. And then he
Speaker 1: sent me a link to the one that they did
Speaker 1: that was sort of like it, which.
Speaker 3: Really will to prove because he doesn't want to pay
Speaker 3: you ten dollars. That's why.
Speaker 1: Right well, he wouldn't have paid me ten dollars anyway,
Speaker 1: because he does not want to hire me. Right then
Speaker 1: I wrote, okay, So then I the last one is
Speaker 1: not that great, but whatever, I wrote, happy birthday to
Speaker 1: the one person who truly gets how amazing I am.
Speaker 1: And he wrote, this one's all right, but would probably
Speaker 1: hit the cutting room floor. And he says, so based
Speaker 1: on this submission, I'd say we have to pass if
Speaker 1: you'd like to resubmit based on the above notes to
Speaker 1: my other email with the practice assignment, by all means
Speaker 1: I'm ready to look at some new lines. I highly
Speaker 1: encourage you to look here for inspiration. Then he sends
Speaker 1: me to the website otherwise I don't think we can
Speaker 1: add you to the daily email right now. Thanks for
Speaker 1: you t get your ten dollars.
Speaker 3: Oh, you should.
Speaker 4: Write him right now and be like, listen, we've talked
Speaker 4: about you a couple times in the podcast.
Speaker 1: You thing you want to say? Do you want to
Speaker 1: give comment? I'd look it up, but my phone keeps dying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: i'd see that would be a cute that'd be a
Speaker 1: cute e card. I would look it up.
Speaker 4: My phone isn't charging right, and he'd be like, here's
Speaker 4: a better version of that. I need to go to
Speaker 4: the Apple store because I'm having some personal problems.
Speaker 3: You're like, that's just so.
Speaker 1: Exactly the thing, except for it's not even added like
Speaker 1: thirty words to it.
Speaker 3: Like I don't know that just adding more words makes
Speaker 3: it better. But happy birthday.
Speaker 1: I would call, but things are really hard from.
Speaker 3: You right now.
Speaker 1: I'm going through a lot of different changes, and like
Speaker 1: you understand, right, I do. Hope you're well, that's the
Speaker 1: funny card with like an old timey picture. Why how
Speaker 1: is that?
Speaker 4: And he's like, you just won't all right, no, wait,
Speaker 4: give me one. Give me I'm gonna try to fix
Speaker 4: another one here.
Speaker 1: Just make up one like congratulations, congratulations on your baby.
Speaker 3: Hope she turns.
Speaker 1: Out hot to be hot. So that's the joke. One, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: graduations or baby.
Speaker 4: I hope she turns out to be hot, and then
Speaker 4: be like, how about this congratulation on your baby.
Speaker 1: I really hope things go well with your baby. I
Speaker 1: think that, like it's really cool that you had a baby,
Speaker 1: And I really hope that it's an easy time for
Speaker 1: you and yours and your baby, for you, your husband
Speaker 1: and your baby, and I hope that she or he
Speaker 1: lives a really long, wonderful life full of adventure.
Speaker 2: Like my cheeks are hurry right now, and then and
Speaker 2: then he goes on and then he goes I mean
Speaker 2: maybe this isn't it either, but you see, you get
Speaker 2: my point. You're gonna want to mention baby like twenty
Speaker 2: more times, just like I'm trying to.
Speaker 3: Think of another one.
Speaker 1: Congrats you graduated college. Good luck or no, what's the graduated?
Speaker 1: You graduated college. Congrats, I hope you don't get too
Speaker 1: drunk at the frat parties.
Speaker 3: That's the joke.
Speaker 1: One, Yeah, congratulation you graduated college. I hope that you
Speaker 1: pledge the frat that you really believe in brotherhood. And
Speaker 1: then it like has the saw from and I went
Speaker 1: to two Pacific. There's all stand. That's all in there,
Speaker 1: including the music, Jones, the notes.
Speaker 3: You're like, what, there's a link. There's a link. This
Speaker 3: will be you'll get this more if you hit this
Speaker 3: link and it'll take you to the music on Apple Music.
Speaker 5: So you can beta beta towl and then and then
Speaker 5: in parentheses like I'm not sure if you're Jewish or not,
Speaker 5: I don't remember, but if you're Jewish, ZBT would be
Speaker 5: a wonderful fraternity for you to pledge.
Speaker 3: It's like, and those are just some suggestions.
Speaker 1: To take a look at those and think about them later,
Speaker 1: and just like resubmit.
Speaker 3: My favorite is that he took I would call, but
Speaker 3: my phone's at three percent, to be like to the
Speaker 3: only person i'd call if my phone were at three percent.
Speaker 3: So you understand how I changed that. So now go
Speaker 3: look at the go look for inspiration and come up
Speaker 3: with something that really is slightly different.
Speaker 1: You actually can't do that. Your phone would die as
Speaker 1: you're calling them, right, so that the premise already doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense.
Speaker 3: The way that he has it. No, he's an idiot.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I said it. I said it, And the joke,
Speaker 3: the tone of the joke is that you are blowing
Speaker 3: the person off that it was easier to send an
Speaker 3: E card because you're like, you don't really want to
Speaker 3: talk to the person. That's the joke. The joke is
Speaker 3: like i'd call you, but my phone's at three percent. Sorry,
Speaker 3: that's the joke. It's not supposed to be a positive.
Speaker 3: These are sarcastic. Now I have to explain Dan Wilbur's
Speaker 3: job to him.
Speaker 1: It's not supposed to be like a fun like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're the only person I call if my phone is
Speaker 1: at three percent.
Speaker 3: Like, that's not the joke. It's not funny. H And
Speaker 3: I've had to put up with this kind of you know,
Speaker 3: people that don't know better than me telling me what's
Speaker 3: wrong with what I do. But at a job where
Speaker 3: I'm making thousands of dollars a week, not from somebody
Speaker 3: who's possibly going to pay me ten dollars a week.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me do one more, let me do one more. Okay,
Speaker 1: Happy anniversary, honey. I hope we can finally do reverse
Speaker 1: cowgirl tonight.
Speaker 3: It's like.
Speaker 1: I'm going to about this happy anniversary, honey. I really
Speaker 1: don't want you to get a UTI, so let's make
Speaker 1: sure that you take that Cranberry juice and use the
Speaker 1: antibiotic he got you and that we talked about at length. Okay, Sweetie,
Speaker 1: I love you. That would actually be.
Speaker 3: A great card. I'd be happy to get their card.
Speaker 3: He'd do the same thing. But then he'd be like, yeah,
Speaker 3: we would never say, sweetie, I love you. We just
Speaker 3: wouldn't say that.
Speaker 1: I'd say, but we will put if you want a
Speaker 1: link to the Uti Cranberry staff. What's the stuff called
Speaker 1: that makes it not burn when you pee but it doesn't?
Speaker 4: Easy problem okay, easy? Yeah, easy whatever, ezio or easy
Speaker 4: something like that. It's like, yeah, we'll link to that
Speaker 4: only because you know and like, and we'll take most
Speaker 4: of the profit you can get like two percent if
Speaker 4: we do get any. But we have to do that
Speaker 4: through Amazon. It's a whole it's a whole thing.
Speaker 3: I feel, an affiliate marketing you know thing. But probably
Speaker 3: only if you come up with some other cards that
Speaker 3: also link to products. We probably don't want to go
Speaker 3: through all that just for one for one.
Speaker 4: So yeah, and we and it does seem and you're like,
Speaker 4: but you said it would be too long if I
Speaker 4: did it that and you're like, no, no, it's it's fine
Speaker 4: if it's longer, if there's like if it's a good
Speaker 4: joke and you're like, but what's the joke that like, honey, honey,
Speaker 4: I'm glad.
Speaker 3: We would never put in a link that that's a lot,
Speaker 3: that's that long. You need to do a bit l
Speaker 3: y like, so I'm sorry we can't hire you at
Speaker 3: this time because you didn't put in the bit dot l.
Speaker 1: W and put that in and also like we want to.
Speaker 4: It's a fine line between like, you know, caring about
Speaker 4: the person that you want to make sure doesn't get
Speaker 4: a UTI and really talking about how you went to
Speaker 4: the doctor together and you're really like that guy, but
Speaker 4: also you're like, ooh, tonight's the night. Oh my god,
Speaker 4: Dan will Okay, let me see if I can't, I
Speaker 4: don't think I look up my phone.
Speaker 1: Let me see if I can't, Okay, I can try
Speaker 1: to look him up on Facebook.
Speaker 3: I think I found him on Facebook before. I think
Speaker 3: you did. I think we have a mutual friend.
Speaker 1: It's cute.
Speaker 3: Didn't I think he was kind of cute? You did?
Speaker 1: Is he cute?
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I mean there is a Dan Wilbert who's a digital
Speaker 1: creator that there's a bunch of Dan.
Speaker 3: Okay, he kind of.
Speaker 1: He's got a picture of himself where he's got his
Speaker 1: head is like his face is in his haund and
Speaker 1: he's like, rah, he's grumpy, he's having problems. I don't
Speaker 1: see mutual friends though, so this might just be like
Speaker 1: his Yeah, he's got a lot of followers.
Speaker 3: I would has any like yeah, any, I mean it
Speaker 3: seems like the guy. Yeah, this looks like the guy
Speaker 3: that would do this for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I mean he's really but there's also
Speaker 1: a Dan Wilbur who lives in Malibu.
Speaker 3: Also, I can't see our friends though. Why are people
Speaker 3: so private? Oh?
Speaker 1: This has got to be the guy. I have thirty
Speaker 1: six mutual friends with him. Okay, well I didn't see
Speaker 1: that one. Well maybe because maybe because I can't see
Speaker 1: his and be said on private unless you're friends.
Speaker 3: Well I'm not friends with them. You know what, We'll
Speaker 3: never really know. It doesn't matter. I'm not going to
Speaker 3: date him or Keith.
Speaker 4: But okay, so him, Dan Keith in conclusion, Dan Keith or.
Speaker 3: Charles Manson. That's tough. You got to marry Dan.
Speaker 4: No, no, gott to marry Keith, Gott to have sex
Speaker 4: with Dan you're not going to do anything with you.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, all right, I got that one done real quick.
Speaker 4: All right, all right, you guys, we should say hello
Speaker 4: to our friends who are here on the Patreon and
Speaker 4: thank you for being here, like Carolyn Bastian Silvano, Jemetti
Speaker 4: always there for us, Sandra Green, we love you, Collect
Speaker 4: Rock same. Patrick Price, that's your old pal. We love
Speaker 4: not old like you know, like he's still young. He's
Speaker 4: getting up there just table. I've known him for twenty.
Speaker 3: Years young though. You could know him for twenty years
Speaker 3: and he could just be forty twenty one years. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he could still be a big that's true. That's true.
Speaker 1: He is a baby, He's a baby. We have this
Speaker 1: whole conversation about Patrick. Ju she's in my writing class
Speaker 1: and she's such a talented writer. Hi, Julie, Hi, Julie Hi.
Speaker 4: Victoria Blake and Andrea Andrea Crawford and Dick Frolicker and
Speaker 4: Jean Vagepe and Carrie Maller.
Speaker 1: You want to take us home? Yeah, Kera Johnson Watson
Speaker 1: and Jacqueline Bellick and Victoria Blake and Jill Shaw, Athene
Speaker 1: ginshard Price, Haye Tonado.
Speaker 3: Listen, you still have time.
Speaker 1: If you go to Becky Barris's website, which is just basic, Becky,
Speaker 1: get you a custom T shirt or a mouse pot
Speaker 1: or a mug for someone special in your life or
Speaker 1: not special, and maybe put one of like my Sam
Speaker 1: full E card sayings on a mug.
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't you? You can have it.
Speaker 1: Nobody owns that. No, Also, Randy may Ames, lets us
Speaker 1: give our shout to whatever we feel strongly about. And
Speaker 1: I feel strongly right now about the ACLU, because shit's
Speaker 1: go in sideways in our country, y'all.
Speaker 3: I did the y'all for you. Thank you, and the ACLU.
Speaker 1: Listen, the Supreme Court is doing some like fucked up shit,
Speaker 1: that's all I'm gonna say. Really, And the ACLU is
Speaker 1: like they are on that wall trying to.
Speaker 3: Protect us against this filing lawsuits, so can we give
Speaker 3: them some money? ACLU? Thank you? All right, We thank you,
Speaker 3: We love you, We thank you. Are we sorry? Yeah,
Speaker 3: we're definitely sorry.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, like I sided with a murder for
Speaker 4: like a long time and right given a lot of examples.
Speaker 1: But you're welcome. The show today is almost an hour. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we went crazy, all right.
Speaker 3: Thanks