WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:05.599 I'm Ali. 2 00:00:05.879 --> 00:00:08.320 I came out after twenty years of marriage and I 3 00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:09.160 have three kids. 4 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:12.359 I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came 5 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:14.960 out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage. 6 00:00:15.400 --> 00:00:19.239 This podcast is about coming out later and the struggles 7 00:00:19.320 --> 00:00:20.519 and victories. 8 00:00:20.039 --> 00:00:20.640 That come with it. 9 00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:22.920 When coming out feels like the end of the world, 10 00:00:23.320 --> 00:00:24.920 but it's really just the beginning. 11 00:00:25.640 --> 00:00:35.119 This is the Lesbian Chronicles. 12 00:00:36.280 --> 00:00:38.920 Welcome to the lesbiame Chronicles. How are you, Melissa? 13 00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:39.759 I'm good. 14 00:00:39.960 --> 00:00:42.479 I've been kind of stressed the last few days doing 15 00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:45.960 some work at my condo, but everything's falling into place finally, 16 00:00:46.119 --> 00:00:50.399 So it's been a minute since I've had actual anxiety 17 00:00:50.920 --> 00:00:51.719 around anything. 18 00:00:51.920 --> 00:00:54.240 Anxious this morning when yeah, this new. 19 00:00:54.159 --> 00:01:00.240 Platform, I know, we're you know, as always, we're on 20 00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:04.519 a learning curve here, and props to Allie she's we 21 00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:05.680 tested this out. 22 00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:06.879 We're going to see if it works. 23 00:01:06.959 --> 00:01:09.359 And the best is when we don't even really know 24 00:01:09.400 --> 00:01:11.439 how to do the original platform and I'm. 25 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:15.640 Already changing, let's change, let's change exactly. 26 00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:18.799 Well, so you're getting that condo ready, I am. 27 00:01:18.840 --> 00:01:20.719 You're going to be spending more time down here, which 28 00:01:20.799 --> 00:01:22.480 means you're not going to be staying with me, which 29 00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:23.879 makes me feel a little sad for. 30 00:01:23.959 --> 00:01:27.079 The time peeing. So you know that could change. It 31 00:01:27.079 --> 00:01:29.319 could change on the drop of a hat, you know, 32 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:35.000 so shock, drop of a dime, I don't know. And yeah, 33 00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:37.319 I'm on a rental list to rent it out again 34 00:01:37.480 --> 00:01:39.879 and number two so I could be right back there 35 00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:40.799 in your guest room. 36 00:01:40.959 --> 00:01:43.760 I know you anytime this I redid it for you. 37 00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:45.480 I mean, it's great there, I love it. 38 00:01:45.519 --> 00:01:46.319 I was there the past. 39 00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:49.799 I even stayed an extra night last weekend that was unplanned. 40 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:52.480 I know. Do you know what? I was shocked literally 41 00:01:53.079 --> 00:01:55.719 day drinking. Yeah, we did go day drinking. 42 00:01:55.799 --> 00:01:58.120 Well, I'm super excited and I don't want to like 43 00:01:58.200 --> 00:02:00.000 miss out on minutes because I know we probably don't 44 00:02:00.120 --> 00:02:04.200 have you that song, but we have the lesbian matchmaker 45 00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:06.920 Sophia Spallino with us today. 46 00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:10.680 Hi Sophia, Hi, I'm so good. It's weird. 47 00:02:10.719 --> 00:02:12.319 My internet went out for a second, so I don't 48 00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:14.599 know what you said other than like that last introduction, 49 00:02:14.680 --> 00:02:16.800 so I hope it wasn't anything crazy. 50 00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:19.039 And we said was your last name, which you told 51 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:22.960 me was spa lean? Oh like an orgasm. 52 00:02:22.719 --> 00:02:27.599 That's right, you know. Well, I'm so glad to be here. 53 00:02:27.759 --> 00:02:29.039 Thanks for having me, ladies. 54 00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:30.919 Yeah, we're super psyched. 55 00:02:30.919 --> 00:02:34.560 We've been following you, and man, the service is like 56 00:02:34.919 --> 00:02:36.080 massively needed. 57 00:02:36.919 --> 00:02:39.000 Thank you, Yeah, it really is. 58 00:02:39.039 --> 00:02:42.439 It's it's been something that I started honestly selfishly to 59 00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:46.800 find my partner and then realize, oh. 60 00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:48.159 Like a lot of women need this. 61 00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:52.199 And it started like being like a TikTok series where 62 00:02:52.680 --> 00:02:56.199 I would read people's letters to their future wife, read 63 00:02:56.280 --> 00:02:58.840 different things that they were looking for, and then I 64 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:02.360 was like, I can't actually help them, Like this is cute, 65 00:03:02.520 --> 00:03:07.280 like the content's cute that performs, but that's not actually 66 00:03:07.319 --> 00:03:11.039 helping anybody. And I kept getting requests. I had a 67 00:03:11.080 --> 00:03:14.280 social media agency, and I had a lot of clients 68 00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:15.800 who had come into work with me because I worked 69 00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:16.280 with lesbians. 70 00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:18.120 It'd be like, can you introduce me to her and her? 71 00:03:18.159 --> 00:03:21.520 And I was like, oh, that's like crossing business boundaries. Yeah, 72 00:03:21.560 --> 00:03:23.479 and like I'm not getting paid enough for that kind 73 00:03:23.479 --> 00:03:26.400 of stress because you know, oh my lord. 74 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:28.520 Yeah. 75 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:32.280 So eventually it just became this thing that was like undeniable, 76 00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:33.319 that like this is what. 77 00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:36.120 I'm meant to do and now we're here. 78 00:03:36.560 --> 00:03:38.840 But yeah, for a long time, I kind of like 79 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:41.199 I was like, no, no, I'm going to stay on 80 00:03:41.240 --> 00:03:44.400 this path because I had a lot of success doing 81 00:03:44.479 --> 00:03:45.719 what I was doing, and I had to take a 82 00:03:45.719 --> 00:03:49.960 lot of steps backwards financially to like birth the baby. 83 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:52.080 Essentially the only baby out. 84 00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:56.360 Launching businesses is if it's a double full time job. 85 00:03:56.400 --> 00:03:57.479 If a full time job. 86 00:03:57.319 --> 00:04:00.439 Is for forty hours a week, it's eighty yeah, and 87 00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:02.800 then you don't sleep, and then you don't layer that 88 00:04:02.879 --> 00:04:03.759 with lack of sleep. 89 00:04:04.439 --> 00:04:06.479 I literally wake up to p in the middle of 90 00:04:06.479 --> 00:04:09.960 the night and think like, oh, like Susie and Sally. 91 00:04:09.879 --> 00:04:11.639 That's a good matchic, why didn't we think of that? 92 00:04:11.759 --> 00:04:15.199 And like messaging my team at three m God. 93 00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:17.480 Bless these twelve women network with me like they are 94 00:04:17.519 --> 00:04:20.279 so grace for this job because it's like literally all 95 00:04:20.319 --> 00:04:20.720 the time. 96 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:23.279 Yeah, that's amazing. Let me ask you. This is like 97 00:04:23.319 --> 00:04:25.079 a total side note. But when you're on a flight, 98 00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:25.720 do you work? 99 00:04:26.600 --> 00:04:26.920 Yes? 100 00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:31.839 No, no, but okay, but there's like this this I 101 00:04:31.839 --> 00:04:33.160 could see Melissa's face, so I. 102 00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:34.519 Know because I don't. 103 00:04:34.639 --> 00:04:37.319 I'm like I'm downloading that like watching my job I have. 104 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:40.120 I'm very judging about people not working on planes during 105 00:04:40.120 --> 00:04:40.920 the work week, but. 106 00:04:40.920 --> 00:04:42.319 I don't work like that. 107 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:46.560 Like I work for like a company, So I'm like 108 00:04:47.079 --> 00:04:49.920 logged down, right, you know, eight hours and I'm off, 109 00:04:50.160 --> 00:04:52.439 you know, and I have to be like returning client 110 00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:53.879 emails or anything like that. 111 00:04:54.279 --> 00:04:58.639 I'm watching Netflix. I'm jealous. So Okay, here's my rules. 112 00:04:58.639 --> 00:05:01.079 When I'm on a plane, I have to put airplane 113 00:05:01.120 --> 00:05:03.000 mode on and not pay for the Wi Fi. 114 00:05:02.920 --> 00:05:04.160 Unless I'm crossing the ocean. 115 00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:06.160 That's my rule to myself because then I focus on 116 00:05:06.279 --> 00:05:11.720 content writing and like not using technology to like manipulate 117 00:05:11.800 --> 00:05:14.319 any thoughts, like no trat GPT, just focused or like 118 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:19.000 what's naturally coming out of me and editing videos. So 119 00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:21.399 I'll just sit there on cap cut. I People ask 120 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:23.240 that all the time, do you still edit all your videos? 121 00:05:23.240 --> 00:05:26.399 And like, honestly, most videos I still edit just because 122 00:05:26.399 --> 00:05:29.920 it's faster and I know what client details the leabout 123 00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:33.399 depending on the client's you know, levels that they're discrete. 124 00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:33.879 And stuff like that. 125 00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:37.720 But yeah, I'm really weird about it unless I'm flying. 126 00:05:37.800 --> 00:05:40.519 So if I'm flying across to Europe, I want to 127 00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:43.319 make sure. But I'm getting sleep so I'm not jet lagged, 128 00:05:43.439 --> 00:05:46.399 and that's really important because the next day I still 129 00:05:46.399 --> 00:05:49.040 have client calls just like I would. No one at 130 00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:51.879 any point in my world knows if I'm in Europe, 131 00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:54.319 if I'm in Texas, if I'm in Los Angeles. 132 00:05:54.439 --> 00:05:56.319 Because my calendar stays the same. 133 00:05:56.920 --> 00:05:59.040 So I get up and I work the same amount, 134 00:05:59.240 --> 00:06:02.319 no matter how much I yeah, yeah, okay. 135 00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:04.399 So for you, what are you doing on a plane? 136 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:09.360 Well for me, like I I fly with you her laptop, 137 00:06:09.439 --> 00:06:12.319 So I get up and sang down. 138 00:06:12.399 --> 00:06:16.040 I pulled the tray out. I want everyone around. 139 00:06:14.560 --> 00:06:17.920 To everyone I'm working, Well, you're nappy. 140 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:20.759 Ali's working exactly. 141 00:06:21.399 --> 00:06:24.319 It's really bad. But yeah, so I work. I do 142 00:06:24.360 --> 00:06:25.680 get the Wi Fi because I need. 143 00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:26.240 It for my work. 144 00:06:26.360 --> 00:06:29.720 It always sucks on the plane, but I for me, 145 00:06:29.959 --> 00:06:32.800 it's like I get a ship ton done. 146 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:34.160 It's a productivity. 147 00:06:34.680 --> 00:06:37.160 So it's more just if I see a grown man 148 00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:39.439 sitting next to me with a suit and tie on 149 00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:42.360 and he's like watching Netflix, I'm thinking, you're such a 150 00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:45.720 loser dude, like somebody's saying you right now, I'm the worst. 151 00:06:45.800 --> 00:06:48.199 I'm like, I can tell your work, like you you're 152 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:49.920 it's Tuesday. 153 00:06:49.480 --> 00:06:50.399 At two o'clock. 154 00:06:51.319 --> 00:06:53.800 Why aren't you working? But this is my problem? Like 155 00:06:53.879 --> 00:06:56.040 I don't like, Melissa's right, but it's. 156 00:06:55.920 --> 00:06:58.879 A me thing I get. Do you have employees though, Allison? 157 00:06:59.079 --> 00:07:01.879 I do have employees, right, So you're like you're on 158 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:02.920 the clock. 159 00:07:03.079 --> 00:07:05.519 You're from your company right now. 160 00:07:06.120 --> 00:07:08.959 Yeah, there's nothing that burns me up more than that. 161 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:10.959 But I am so blessed with my team man, like 162 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:14.439 they're not Yeah, they don't play around, but yeah, I 163 00:07:14.480 --> 00:07:17.040 totally get that. What what kind of business do you run, Alison? 164 00:07:17.279 --> 00:07:18.319 Well, we'll we won't. 165 00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:20.680 Make the podcast about me, but I run a design business, 166 00:07:21.160 --> 00:07:22.639 a house design business. 167 00:07:22.959 --> 00:07:25.040 Okay, yes, badass. 168 00:07:25.079 --> 00:07:30.120 I love it bricking baton, you know, bricking baton and baton. 169 00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:33.959 Okay, but let's get to the Let's get to your business, 170 00:07:33.959 --> 00:07:37.360 because I find this fascinating and we're hearing constantly that 171 00:07:37.399 --> 00:07:39.560 people are like these women are. 172 00:07:40.360 --> 00:07:43.319 It is all the time, you know, on TikTok it's 173 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:45.600 like video after video after video of people being like 174 00:07:45.639 --> 00:07:48.160 how do I meet people? Like where do I go? 175 00:07:48.240 --> 00:07:50.319 Where are the like the good people that actually want 176 00:07:50.319 --> 00:07:54.120 to be in this too and aren't just sleeping around? 177 00:07:54.199 --> 00:07:55.920 So what is your take? 178 00:07:56.800 --> 00:07:59.959 My take is, well, first of all, just coming from 179 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:02.560 authentic place, I've been a little bitter this week. I 180 00:08:02.600 --> 00:08:07.040 get these messages from said companies that are literally trying 181 00:08:07.079 --> 00:08:09.199 to pay me to copy my own language, of my 182 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:12.720 own marketing, to like copy me, and they don't realize 183 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:14.600 they're sending it to me right like. 184 00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:17.839 Yeah, we won't name them, but we all know. 185 00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:21.360 Anyway, about two years ago, I decided I'm gonna get 186 00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:24.720 really aggressive and just call out what we all want 187 00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:26.959 and we're what we're too afraid to say out loud. 188 00:08:26.959 --> 00:08:28.920 And it's like, I don't want to date a loser, Like, 189 00:08:28.959 --> 00:08:30.680 you got to have a good mindset in life. You 190 00:08:30.759 --> 00:08:32.720 gotta wake up happy, You've got to be driven on 191 00:08:32.799 --> 00:08:37.000 some level. Or if you're not like this career woman, okay, 192 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:39.320 then you need to be like really creative and passionate 193 00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:41.720 about what you're doing and have this zest for life. 194 00:08:41.960 --> 00:08:44.000 I don't want to be with someone who's just a bomb. 195 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:45.559 I don't want to be with someone who's playing video games. 196 00:08:45.600 --> 00:08:46.840 I want to be with someone who takes care of 197 00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:50.440 their teeth, someone who cares about showing up in the 198 00:08:50.440 --> 00:08:54.120 world as their very best version of them. And so 199 00:08:54.240 --> 00:08:57.039 that's where I really started with, was I don't want 200 00:08:57.080 --> 00:08:59.320 to date someone who doesn't have a growth mindset. And 201 00:08:59.360 --> 00:09:01.399 I want to make sure about if I'm working really 202 00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:03.000 hard that I have a partner, he's going to show 203 00:09:03.039 --> 00:09:07.080 up as a partner. I came from a background that 204 00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:10.480 was like totally different back in the day. I used 205 00:09:10.519 --> 00:09:12.360 to write ads for I'm not going to say the 206 00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:15.519 name of the website, but like I was the ad 207 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:19.440 girl for a very different type of dating platform back 208 00:09:19.440 --> 00:09:23.240 in my straight days. Okay, and anyone can google that, 209 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:27.000 like there's so many videos and stuff, But I myself 210 00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:32.320 was never ever ever let's just use the word that 211 00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:35.759 that kind of website described sugar baby. 212 00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:39.759 So I had these ads that I created. 213 00:09:39.320 --> 00:09:41.480 With someone who is older than me, and we made 214 00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:44.399 these really good ads, but I myself was never a 215 00:09:44.440 --> 00:09:44.960 sugar baby. 216 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:46.600 I worked so hard with my ex. 217 00:09:46.440 --> 00:09:51.039 Partner, we built his company together, and then I left 218 00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:54.360 him because I was a lesbian, and so when I left, 219 00:09:54.559 --> 00:09:58.519 I had like that that dating experience in the dating world. 220 00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:02.679 I was already doing dating coaching, and when I had 221 00:10:02.720 --> 00:10:05.679 to get on apps to start dating again, I was like, 222 00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:07.799 this is this is really hard. 223 00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:08.039 Now. 224 00:10:08.440 --> 00:10:11.039 No hate to anyone who hasn't figured out their sexuality, 225 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:14.840 but lesbians don't want to date people who aren't sure. 226 00:10:14.639 --> 00:10:16.919 About where they want to end up. 227 00:10:17.519 --> 00:10:20.120 So it's like you can be whatever letter of the 228 00:10:20.120 --> 00:10:22.320 alphabet you want to be, but like if you date me, 229 00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:25.399 just or not what you want to be, what you 230 00:10:25.480 --> 00:10:29.759 are because we're all born with our inherent sexualities. But 231 00:10:30.960 --> 00:10:33.480 when you come to me as a woman who knows 232 00:10:33.480 --> 00:10:35.320 I want to settle down with a woman, I just 233 00:10:35.360 --> 00:10:37.840 need you to be clear that like maybe you are 234 00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:40.080 by but you're very clear Like at this point in 235 00:10:40.080 --> 00:10:43.159 my life, I'm decentering men. I really want to settle 236 00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:45.879 down with a woman. And when I was on APPS, 237 00:10:45.960 --> 00:10:50.519 especially in the South, I was constantly hit with married 238 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:55.279 straight women who are we're looking for a third And 239 00:10:55.320 --> 00:11:01.519 that was like so just just agreating. Yes, look if 240 00:11:01.559 --> 00:11:05.200 you are polyamorous, do your thing, honeyat polyamorous friends, But 241 00:11:05.240 --> 00:11:06.919 like I'm out here looking for. 242 00:11:06.759 --> 00:11:09.720 A wife, and like you were gonna be their toy. 243 00:11:10.519 --> 00:11:13.480 Oh and look I went through it. I ended up 244 00:11:13.559 --> 00:11:16.000 dating one woman who was in the closet and who 245 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:18.879 has married. It was the least proud time in my 246 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:20.759 life I can look back. I think it was like 247 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:22.000 four or five years ago. Now. 248 00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:26.480 It nearly killed me, Like it made me physically ill 249 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:28.519 to know that when she would leave me. 250 00:11:28.679 --> 00:11:30.320 She was going back to this guy. 251 00:11:30.440 --> 00:11:32.600 She would say, oh, but I'm gonna leave him for you, 252 00:11:32.639 --> 00:11:34.200 and I love you and you're the one for me. 253 00:11:34.960 --> 00:11:37.720 And I look at little Sophia, who was like essentially 254 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:40.480 a baby gay child right like I was baby gay, 255 00:11:40.519 --> 00:11:43.679 and I I would just be so broken hearted every 256 00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:46.559 single day, and that's just not how love is supposed 257 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:51.000 to feel at all. And after those experiences of dating 258 00:11:51.039 --> 00:11:53.919 women in the closet or going through a talking phase 259 00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:56.440 and then being hit with well, you know, I'm glad 260 00:11:56.440 --> 00:11:58.519 to talk to you really pretty, but like I'm just 261 00:11:58.559 --> 00:12:00.559 not sure if I want to marry it. I'm just 262 00:12:00.639 --> 00:12:03.360 kind of figuring this out. And it's like, okay, but 263 00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:05.600 this is like my time is at the time to 264 00:12:05.639 --> 00:12:08.279 figure it out, Like you could have met that upfront. 265 00:12:09.240 --> 00:12:12.039 So yeah, I respect everyone on their journey. I was 266 00:12:12.120 --> 00:12:15.519 once the girl on that journey. I was once literally 267 00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:19.480 on dating apps while having a boyfriend being like, Okay, 268 00:12:19.519 --> 00:12:21.919 I'm gonna find out if I'm gay. But I was 269 00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:25.519 so honest about it. I was the problem though, Like 270 00:12:25.759 --> 00:12:27.720 I can look at people and be like I was 271 00:12:27.799 --> 00:12:28.679 the problem. 272 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:30.240 Where like I was trying to figure it. 273 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:33.000 Out, and I grew up in the South where I 274 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:37.039 couldn't figure it out. I waited for sexual marriage with 275 00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:40.240 the man to get married and then realize, well, this 276 00:12:40.320 --> 00:12:41.960 isn't for me, But then try it again with someone 277 00:12:41.960 --> 00:12:44.360 who is a good man, who is my friend, and 278 00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:47.120 I genuinely loved him, but like, uh, like, I can't 279 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:49.080 marry you without having sex with the woman first. 280 00:12:49.120 --> 00:12:50.240 That's where I felt stuck. 281 00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:52.960 And he was like, figure it out, and everything was transparent, 282 00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:56.759 But it's still not fair that I was putting myself 283 00:12:56.840 --> 00:13:00.600 in those places where lesbians need to feel safe, like, hey, 284 00:13:00.600 --> 00:13:03.320 the woman I'm talking to is actually looking for what 285 00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:04.480 I'm looking for too. 286 00:13:05.679 --> 00:13:09.480 Your platform is essentially you're meeting people on. 287 00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:10.879 The other side of all that bullshit. 288 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:12.840 It's like, you go do that, you go do that 289 00:13:12.919 --> 00:13:15.039 on the dating apps, you go do that with your friends, 290 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:18.000 and they come to me when you're grown in where 291 00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:18.679 you're going to. 292 00:13:18.639 --> 00:13:22.919 Be yes, when women come to me, whether they're lesbian, 293 00:13:23.000 --> 00:13:26.679 by paying all the things, most clients are ninety five 294 00:13:26.679 --> 00:13:30.960 percent cis gender lesbians, other four percent maybe by and 295 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:33.600 then there's that one percent of transistors that I really 296 00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:36.039 want to support because dating is really hard for them. 297 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:39.159 But by the time women come to me, they're very 298 00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:42.679 clear they've decentered men and they want to live and 299 00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:45.440 die with one wife for life. So while I respect 300 00:13:45.519 --> 00:13:48.679 all the paths, like, you're here and you're ready for this, 301 00:13:49.399 --> 00:13:53.159 you want real You've done your internal work, you are. 302 00:13:53.399 --> 00:13:55.120 Very much sure. 303 00:13:54.840 --> 00:13:57.039 Of who you are, what you want, and that you 304 00:13:57.200 --> 00:14:01.360 like have a fulfilling life. You're just seeing your person. 305 00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:03.519 So it's a very different place to be. 306 00:14:04.039 --> 00:14:06.639 Yes, I mean, you're right, it is in you know, 307 00:14:07.159 --> 00:14:08.879 having It's been a minute since I did any of 308 00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:10.679 the dating apps, but it is one of those things 309 00:14:10.679 --> 00:14:13.360 where it's just like constant, like you're having to like 310 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:16.879 decipher while you're on there, like is this person like 311 00:14:17.039 --> 00:14:19.600 just on here four feling? You might page through a 312 00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:22.840 little bit and then suddenly there's a boy and you're like, okay, 313 00:14:23.000 --> 00:14:25.679 is that maybe on the off chance that's your brother, 314 00:14:26.279 --> 00:14:28.559 but you know, ninety nine percent of the time it 315 00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:31.559 is the husband and they're looking for a third And yeah, 316 00:14:31.639 --> 00:14:35.480 like you're saying, it's like all too exploring, but it 317 00:14:35.559 --> 00:14:39.720 is so discouraging to be on there and looking and 318 00:14:39.720 --> 00:14:43.759 that's that's what you see. Now, How is it that 319 00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:47.080 you you know, pull people in? Yeah, And kind of 320 00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:49.759 make sure that that's where they're at screen. 321 00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:53.039 Yeah, So a lot of what I do is very 322 00:14:53.039 --> 00:14:55.799 aggressive in my marketing. Like some people get mad and 323 00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:58.559 think my videos aren't nice, and to them, I'm like bye, 324 00:14:58.759 --> 00:14:59.960 like you're not my client. 325 00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:02.480 So that's one thing. 326 00:15:02.679 --> 00:15:05.720 Is just a marketing that's not saying hey, everyone, come 327 00:15:05.759 --> 00:15:08.519 on in, because that's not how it should be. 328 00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:12.919 I also have no AI team. It's all human team. 329 00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:16.879 So my team is looking at every single interaction happening 330 00:15:16.879 --> 00:15:19.120 in the platform other than private dms, Like we're not 331 00:15:19.159 --> 00:15:21.399 looking at that, we can't see that, but we're making 332 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:24.120 sure people are following a very strict code of conduct. 333 00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:27.559 We have a very serious reporting system, which I'm proud 334 00:15:27.600 --> 00:15:30.000 to say isn't used very often because we do attract 335 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:33.440 a higher quality clientele. But for instance, if you would 336 00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:37.159 ever have someone ask for money or whatever, we flag 337 00:15:37.240 --> 00:15:37.600 that and. 338 00:15:37.559 --> 00:15:42.080 They're kicked out. So very very strict code of conduct there. 339 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:45.559 And when people come in they have to declare that 340 00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:48.360 they are monogamous and that they're ready to settle down 341 00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:52.000 with the woman. Now, if you go one step further 342 00:15:52.039 --> 00:15:55.000 and you're doing private matchmaking with me, there's a very 343 00:15:55.039 --> 00:16:00.279 intense screening process that involves getting like legally the ability 344 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:04.159 to background check someone those sort of things. That's another step, 345 00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:07.759 and that's a much different, higher level of service than 346 00:16:07.879 --> 00:16:11.480 coming into the platform. The platform is only seventeen a month, 347 00:16:11.759 --> 00:16:15.519 so very very different services, but still a layer that 348 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:17.960 really protects people from. 349 00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:19.960 The typical scams. Do you guys know about the dating 350 00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:21.080 app scams right now? 351 00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:24.919 I haven't been on the dating apps before, but Melissa 352 00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:26.279 has told me there's some crazy shit. 353 00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:28.919 I mean, I know that people like this was a 354 00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:30.440 long time ago, but I felt like there's a lot 355 00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:32.919 of catfish. Some of the like alerts that I would 356 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:34.960 notice is if someone claims to be in the military 357 00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:38.679 and serving overseas, I would do like reverse Google image 358 00:16:38.679 --> 00:16:41.840 searches of photos, like what are some things that you've 359 00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:42.840 you've noticed? 360 00:16:43.639 --> 00:16:46.360 Yeah, so all of the things you're talking about totally true. 361 00:16:46.399 --> 00:16:48.679 It happens a lot on TikTok too, because people kind 362 00:16:48.679 --> 00:16:51.840 of use TikTok as a dating app, and there's platform 363 00:16:52.360 --> 00:16:54.679 profiles that are created as just scams and like who 364 00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:55.240 are you talking to? 365 00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:55.679 I don't know. 366 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:59.360 But one thing that we are really passionate about as 367 00:16:59.399 --> 00:17:02.960 making sure nobody's soliciting for money. So there's a scam 368 00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:05.640 right now that's really scary because it is a real woman. 369 00:17:05.960 --> 00:17:09.119 So what they do is these crime rings hire gorgeous, 370 00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:12.839 gorgeous people, beautiful women. You'd be like, I hit the 371 00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:16.319 lesbian jackpot if the messages you and then you get 372 00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:19.119 her on a FaceTime call and she answers and she's 373 00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:23.240 still that gorgeous woman, but she's hired by a crime ring. 374 00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:25.920 Now this is where it makes it very hard for 375 00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:28.480 dating apps to even protect you. Right this is where 376 00:17:28.519 --> 00:17:31.200 you need to be aware of these things because if 377 00:17:31.200 --> 00:17:35.119 someone ever tells you, hey, this is what I do crypto. 378 00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:37.279 I need you to invest in this thing, and then 379 00:17:37.319 --> 00:17:39.480 you give them a little bit and then you get 380 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:41.359 a bigger win from it and you're like, oh, I'm 381 00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:43.599 actually making money and they're like, oh yeah, let your 382 00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:44.480 money stack up. 383 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:46.920 They'll keep convincing you to put more money in. You 384 00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:49.720 see your money grow, and then they swipe all your 385 00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:52.559 money out once you build up a good chunk. 386 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:55.559 So that's called pig butchering and it's a big thing 387 00:17:55.640 --> 00:17:58.480 right now. And on the dating apps that we do 388 00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:01.319 is if somebody is at you to join like some 389 00:18:01.559 --> 00:18:05.079 financial thing, or asking for money, and you can screenshot 390 00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:07.960 that and report it will immediately take them out because 391 00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:12.079 once you get off the platform and you start talking 392 00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:16.559 personally like we can't help you, but by charging, we 393 00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:17.240 have a paywall. 394 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:18.279 To come into the platform. 395 00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:21.319 It's forty seven dollars to be initiated, seventeen a month 396 00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:22.240 or ninety seven. 397 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:26.240 For the year. That keeps most scammers out right. 398 00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:29.559 It's just another layer of protection because scammers are creating 399 00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:32.440 so many profiles everywhere, but it's free, and I kind 400 00:18:32.440 --> 00:18:35.039 of seeing what they can catch when they're fishing what 401 00:18:35.240 --> 00:18:36.039