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Speaker 1: All right, y'all, Hey.

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Speaker 2: Hal on, come on, this is knock Abuse No More

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with your host, doctor and evangelist Kay y'all Rich, helping

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you to admit what you feel in order to.

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Speaker 1: Heal from the effects.

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Speaker 3: Of narcissistic abuse because your phillies do matters.

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Speaker 2: How y'all doing today on this lovely Monday morning.

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Speaker 1: This is the first Monday in March. Yes it is March,

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the second of twenty twenty six. I pray that you

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have had a blessed stress free, narcissistic free, abuse free

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week last week and that this week will continue to

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be so. But if not, we're going to be talking

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about a few things today. Again. My name is doctor

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ko Rich with narck Abuse No More, where we're here

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to help you admit what you feel in order to

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heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse, because your feelings

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do matter, Yes they do. But before we go on

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with today's podcast, I'd like to invite your visitors on

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our website at www dot NRC narc Abuse No More

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dot net. That is www dot RC narc Abuse No

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More dot net. And we're going to be adding some

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things one throughout the year for different things that you

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can have to empower or yourself if you are a

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survivor of abuse of any kind, or you want just

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general information or just to have things of affirmation to

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uplift your spirits. We're gonna be having some things eventually.

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I'm gonna have it also where we have Zoom appointments

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where you can get counseling via Zoom, and so that's

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gonna be hopefully taking place that by twenty twenty eight,

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Lord willing. But in the meantime, I will just want

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to let you know last week I got braces. Yes,

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I have a mouth full of metal, and so I

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didn't want to get on the podcast not knowing if

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I was gonna be able to articulate my words exactly

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right at the time, because it takes some getting used to. However,

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I'm settling in the braces, so hopefully you will definitely

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be able to understand me clearly, and if not, I

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do apologize, but I do believe that you will be

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able to. Okay, all right, So what are we talking

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about today? We are talking about twenty four character strengths.

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Twenty four character strengths. What are the twenty four character strengths?

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Because everyone has something that's positive about them, even though

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those narcissists, Okay, but everyone has something positive about them.

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So we're gonna deal with twenty four character strengths. Hopefully

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we can get through it through this podcast. And it's

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often divided actually into six virtues. Six virtues, and these

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are wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence. Now, when

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you have gone through various types of abuse, you might

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be at a low for its low self esteem. And therefore,

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when you come out of it, or you're getting out

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of it, or you're trying to get out of you're

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trying to build your self esteem, you may have been

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broken while you were in that abusive relationship, regardless of

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what type of relationship it was. Rather it was intimately romantic,

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rather it was on the job, rather it was at

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the church amongst friends. So you're trying to build yourself

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back up, and you're wondering, do I have anything that's

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a quality within me? I want to before we begin today,

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and I wanna go to the Book of James and

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in the in the group in the Book of James, uh,

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it talks about wisdom, and let let me find that text. Okay, yes,

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it talks about wisdom because people often look for good

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qualities in their employment and their friends, and uh in

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their if you're dating in your spouse, hopefully you have

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some good qualities and the spouse that you're with and

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so uh. These particular character strengths was first introduced by

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Martin Sulliman if I'm pronouncing that right, and Christopher Peterson,

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and they they create these to identify a person's strength

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on ways that we can use our strength throughout our

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everyday lives. And it's to improve your life. So if

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you have a healthy emotional well being, in order to

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do so, it helps to know what your strengths are. Again,

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oftentimes you may have been put down, you may have

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been been made to feel as if you have nothing

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to contribute to the world apart from the narcissists. However,

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everyone has something to contribute to and so in the

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Book of James in the Bible, the Book of James,

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it tells us in James Chapter one and verse five,

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it says, if any of you lacks wisdom, you should

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ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault,

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and it will be given to you. And one of

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the character the six virtues that we discussed earlier is wisdom.

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And if you feel like, well, I don't have wisdom,

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well I would say start off by asking God to

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give you wisdom. And so for those who who have

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this character trait of wisdom, you might For number one,

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you might be creative. You're always thinking of new ways

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to do things. Okay, So that's a good character trait

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to have. You're curious. You take interest in a variety

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of new topics of new things. You're open minded, so

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you like to examine things from a three sixty point

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of view. You're always think thinking things through. You have

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a love of learning. You know, we can go and

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get all kinds of degrees. You know, I have a

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doctor degree. But one thing about it is no one

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knows everything except for God. So you love mastering new skills,

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mastering new topics of You love constantly learning. And then

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you you like being able to provide counsel to others, uh,

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trying to make sense of the world, trying to make

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sense of things, trying to help others to navigate through life.

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And that is a trait of wisdom. One thing you

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know in the Bible, it tells us about King Solomon

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and King Solomon had when he had just became king

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after David, and he asked God for wisdom because he

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acknowledged that he didn't know everything, that he cannot rule

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God's people without having wisdom. And we too need to

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always ask God for wisdom in order to navigate life.

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If you're getting out of a relationship and you're like,

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I have no clue where to begin, I have no

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clue of what to do, ask God for wisdom. Also,

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be around people. Try to get around people who are

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more senior than you, some that have more experience in

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certain areas than you, and get their wisdom. It's always

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good to sit at the feet of someone who can

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mentor you, who can teach you, someone who will not

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judge you but help you in order to gain whatever

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knowledge that you need. Another thing is courage. Courage um

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carriage is something that we too can ask from God.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 1: With courage, it allows you to face opposition head on,

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rather internally or externally. And when you have decided you

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know what, I'm not gonna take abuse from anyone anymore.

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That takes courage. When you're dealing with carriage up under

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those subtraits, it's honesty. They mean speaking truth and being genuine,

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even when it goes against the grain. It takes courage.

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It really does bravery. When you are brave, you're embracing challenges.

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You're not shrinking back from a threat. It doesn't mean

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you don't you're not scared to do something, because sometimes

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it could be a little fearful when you're you're doing

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something new, but you don't allow it to keep you

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in that position of fear. You know, the Bible tells

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us that God didn't give us a spirit of fear,

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but of love, power and a sound mind, and therefore

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it takes bravery. When you think about bravery, you may

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think about the story of David and this shepherd boy

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who went against a giant when an army was hiding

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in fear with Goliath. But this shepherd boy was had

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the bravery of God in him to know that it's

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not about the size, it's about who is on the

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inside of you. Persistence finishing things once you get started.

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You're not one that starts to task and stop start stop,

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start stop. You're persistent, You persevere, You tackle challenges. You

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try to see things to the end. That takes courage

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and zest. Approaching life with energy and excitement. That means

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that I'm excited to learn new things, I'm excited to

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see things. I'm excited, I'm excited for new challenges. If

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you never challenge yourself, you never know how brave you

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can be. It's always good to challenge yourself. That's a fundercarriage.

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Another thing is humanity. Those who score high in humanity,

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they have the strength of being able to befriend others,

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to care for others. So, in other words, of funder humanity.

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And when you have that strength, you love being kind

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to others. You know, the Bible lets us know that

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we're to do unto as we would have done unto us.

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That means that you love doing things for other people.

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You love doing good deeds. You love of just being

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there for people. Also funder humanity is love. Now we

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know that we've talked about one Corinth since thirteen and

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it talks about love. What love is love? You know,

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value close relationships with others. That means when I love you,

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I'm not gonna hurt you, at least not intentionally. When

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I love you, I'm gonna look out for you. When

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I love you, I'm gonna treat you as you deserve

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to be treated with dignity and respect. And this is

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what is often missing when you are dealing with someone

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that's abusive. They don't know how to love, and then

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you may be in an abusive situation where you don't

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even know how to love yourself or know what love is.

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Under humanity is social intelligence. That means being aware of

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other people's feelings, other people's motives, being empathetic, also having

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that discernment, and that discernment comes from God. We're gonna

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take a quick break and we'll be back in just

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a moment.

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Speaker 5: Whoa he.

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Speaker 6: Love with my shoulders tight, always ready for the f

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meaning someone like oo want inside.

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Speaker 7: Waiting for the other car?

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Speaker 1: How much two courageous?

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Speaker 6: She for passion?

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Speaker 4: Kay thought feel men something.

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Speaker 6: Was real, But my body was always received.

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Speaker 8: Even when my heart on it. Feel but this feels different.

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This feels though, think my speriod.

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Speaker 5: Finn Lean.

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Speaker 9: This is love without pad no rush in my chet,

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no fear dressed up as his house, no anxiety and

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it takes.

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Speaker 6: This is love with out panic, no waiting for the drop,

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no count down.

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Speaker 1: In my breathing, no feeding like I'm about to the.

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Speaker 10: Oh you don't pull away to feel needed. You don't

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go quiet to be changed. Oh you don't test.

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Speaker 5: MI to full shine.

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Speaker 11: Ooh, you don't punish my faith. You don't confuse distance

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with you, don't call ancient chemistry. You show up, steady,

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present and let that be enough for me. I don't

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check my phone with Field.

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Speaker 12: How I don't feel small on.

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Speaker 8: This is love without man.

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Speaker 13: No shaking under mysket, don't rehearsing heartbreak for anything begins.

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Speaker 14: This is love with Thu Pan just peace with Field once.

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Speaker 12: Run the kind of love guy says when he wants

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your heart finally.

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Speaker 13: Maybe love was never meant to feel like survived a more.

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Speaker 1: Maybe when it's wrong.

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Speaker 13: God, it doesn't overlord joke.

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Speaker 1: So I don't lose myself with you, I.

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Speaker 12: Say, President Stable, This is love with Tho Many And

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now I understand.

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Speaker 13: Love doesn't Russia. He and he respects who you already.

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Speaker 12: And this is love without Benny, and I finally see

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the right. Love doesn't make you anxious, It sets you freez.

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Speaker 7: Oh, love makes you feel calm, don't question it.

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Speaker 1: And that is love without panic. All right, So we're

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talking about traits that one has twenty four character strengths.

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And these are divided into six virtues wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance,

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and transcendence. So we're gonna dive into justice. And when

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you have the trait of justice, you tend to have

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civic strengths. You tend to want fairness number one, treating

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all people the same. If you recall brother, it's Martin

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Luther King, or rather it's different activists throughout our history.

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They wanted they advocated for fairness, they're advocated for equal rights,

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they're advocated for justice, and the Bible lets us know

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that we are to treat people justly. Another thing is leadership.

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May have leadership skills, which falls up under the trade

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of justice. You're good at organizing group activities, making sure

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that things happen. If you find that you're only the

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one that organizes things, people may even choose you to

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organize things. People may choose you to lead. You may

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be a person that others love to follow. Then that

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may be one of your character strengths. Another thing is teamwork.

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You can't be a good leader if you can't be

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a good follower. That means that I work well together

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with others and I'm also able to be led. Okay,

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So when you work together as a group as a team,

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it's not about I, it's about we. As a leader,

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the team's success is their success and the team's failures.

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You take it upon yourself to say, well, this is

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where I can grow better. That is good leadership, that's

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good teamwork. I work well together with others, and that's

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up under justice. Another one is temperance. Temperance. You you

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you're you're protecting yourself against excesses in life. That means

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that for one, you forgive, okay, up under temperance, that

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means I forgive others that have wronged me. It doesn't

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mean that you let that person continue to do wrong

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to you, but it does mean that, you know what,

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I'm going to let go and let God and we

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all have to forgive others. You know, the Bible lets

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us know that we have to forgive because God forgives us.

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That's not an option. However, the thing is is that

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because just because you forgive someone doesn't mean that you

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have to have allow them to have access to you

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in order to keep rewounding you up Under temperance, it's modesty,

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y you you let one successful accomplishment stand on their own.

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That means that I'm not gonna brag about myself. I'm

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going to uh allow others to see what I've achieved.

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And so therefore, you know, you you're not going around

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and look at me, look at me. You're modest in everything.

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You have humility as well. So therefore you let others

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see the things that you've done, not that you're going

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around bragging on yourself. Prudence. Uh, you try to make

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good choices. That means that I'm temperant. I I don't

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try to overindulge. I'm I'm try I'm trying to make

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the best choices. Whether it's with money finances, rather, it's

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with decisions on the job. Rather, it's even with some

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people that I'm involved with, for as friendships or if

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you're thinking about dating or whatever. Use prudence. Another thing

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is self regulation, mean being disciplined. That means that I

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control my emotions. I control my appetites. Rather it's food, rather,

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it's shopping rather, it's you know, just overindulging in anything.

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I regulate myself. I discipline my self. And these are

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things that we're to have even as Christians. We're to

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be temperant in all things. We're gonna take another quick break,

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and when we come back, we're gonna talk about transcendence, transcendence.

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We'll be back in just a moment.

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Speaker 4: Stay type with silence. Fell like gorn and sign. I

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learned how to graceful leaving, even while songs stood by

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my side.

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Speaker 1: But this feels different.

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Speaker 14: This feels like my body loves something my mind didn't

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totally fall.

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Speaker 4: I don't hold my breath around.

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Speaker 8: I don't readvert my pain.

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Speaker 1: This is the love I can read.

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Speaker 12: Don't waited in all, no fear hiding in the car,

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nodn't force, This isn't love.

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Speaker 7: I can read.

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Speaker 15: Like after storm. I don't feel like I'm surprised. I

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finally feel it home.

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Speaker 14: You don't make me earn your press. You don't disappear peas.

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You don't call intensity passion. You don't confuse chaos with.

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Speaker 12: You.

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Speaker 15: Don't rush my offs.

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Speaker 1: You don't punish my troom.

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Speaker 16: You may prove for.

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Speaker 9: Without asking me to prove.

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Speaker 4: I don't straight to be shows.

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Speaker 1: I don't tense.

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Speaker 4: When things get good.

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Speaker 16: This is the love I can breathe.

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Speaker 13: No anxiety just as desire, no spark that burns too fast.

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Speaker 1: Then please me tell you this.

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Speaker 10: Is the love I can breath, steady.

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Speaker 15: Cold, real, the kind of love, God says twin.

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Speaker 4: He wants you to finally he the love one.

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Speaker 13: Maybe love was never meant to knock the winder to you.

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Speaker 15: Maybe it was meant to story.

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Speaker 1: Every time you near the truth, I don't.

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Speaker 13: Lose myself you. I returned to who I've always been.

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Speaker 11: This is the love I can.

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Speaker 13: Breathe body hoid is no guarding, heavy moore, no braising

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for control. Oh, this is a little I can beth.

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Speaker 8: I know know what means.

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Speaker 4: The right up doesn't take your breath away.

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Speaker 1: He gives it back to.

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Speaker 8: The loveless breath.

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Speaker 4: Don't question, And.

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Speaker 1: That is the love I can breathe in. All right,

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all right, So we're down to transcendence transcendence.

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Speaker 4: And.

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Speaker 1: We've gone through wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and now

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transcendence and transcendence is having a strong connection with God.

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One of the character traits that is so important with

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transitions and having that connection with God. That means you

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appreciate the beauty and everything that God has created. You

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notice it. You take time to smell the flowers, you

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take time to notice the trees, you take time to

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maybe even just walk through the grass. You appreciate creation,

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you appreciate beauty. Another thing is gratitude, being thankful for

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the good things, taking time to express thanks. You know,

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God loves us to thank him for all that he

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has done for us. It's not just once a year

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around Thanksgiving, and a lot of time people are not

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even showing that they're grateful for anything, But we want

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to be have showed gratitude all throughout the year. Gratitude

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to God, Gratitude to those who are a supportive and

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loving of you. Gratitude just for everything that you have

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been blessed with. Another thing is hope, expecting the best,

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working to make it happen, believing that all things are possible.

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That means that when I'm hoping, I'm having faith. You know,

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the Bible talks about faith is the substance of things

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hoped for the evidence of things not seen. So even

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though I may not see it in the natural, I'm

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believing for it in the spirit, and therefore I am hopeful.

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Humor making other people laugh or smile. You enjoy doing things.

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You might even enjoy a good joke, not at the

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expense of hurting someone, as sometimes narcissists do. But you

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enjoy making people laugh or smile, bringing a smile to

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their face. Rather is you might bake a cake for

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someone to bring a smile to their face. You may

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just just say give them a compliment to bring a

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smile to their face. Another thing is knowing in One

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of the traits is religiousness. But we know that God

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is about relationship, not religion, but relationship. That means that

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i have a higher purpose and meaning of life because

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I'm in relationship with God. Pharisees were about religion, but

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God is about relationship. And so we have gone over wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance,

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and transcendence. And everyone has something maybe one of these

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traits on the inside of them, regardless of how you

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might have to dig for it for the in order

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to see it in someone. But you know that the

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thing is is that we all have something in us

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that God has placed on the inside of us. Some

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people use it for good and some people use it

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for evil, But it's not that people cannot make a

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choice to do west right. And when you are coming

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out of an abusive relationship, you've been abused, maybe physically, spiritually, sexually, financially, verbally, emotionally,

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whatever whatever type of abuse you've been through, you might say,

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you know, I'm trying to pick up the pieces and

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I'm trying to get my get to know myself again

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and knowing the traits and saying, you know what, I

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am good at this. I do have this on the

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inside of me. God has blessed me with this. That's

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where you can start becoming a new you. All right,

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we are about it here. I pray to today's podcast

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has been a blessing to you and that you will

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know that guess what your feelings do matter. This is

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doctor an evangelist kaol Rich. Until next time.

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Speaker 16: Nassas the first toss

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Speaker 4: Into