WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:04.120 Welcome to the Becoming You Show, where limits get torched 2 00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:09.759 and possibility takes the mic. I'm lea rowing human in 3 00:00:10.039 --> 00:00:15.480 permanent beta, neurostrategist, mom to three amazing humans, married to 4 00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:20.000 one legendary soul, and your no fluff permission slate to 5 00:00:20.199 --> 00:00:25.920 stop waiting. Every week, we rewire brain patterns, smash hand 6 00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:30.960 me down mindsets, and die into the daring identity shifting conversations. 7 00:00:31.399 --> 00:00:36.359 Most people gosh ready to turn potential into proof. Grab 8 00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:44.359 your pen. Your next chapter starts now. Welcome to the 9 00:00:44.399 --> 00:00:47.759 Becoming You Show. I'm your host, Leah Rolling, and I'm 10 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:52.439 so excited to have you on the show. So welcome, 11 00:00:52.439 --> 00:00:57.920 my beautiful friend. I want to start with something for 12 00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:02.920 this conversation that you're not gonna love, and then I'm 13 00:01:02.920 --> 00:01:05.519 going to spend the rest of this episode turning it 14 00:01:05.560 --> 00:01:08.680 into what I'm hoping is the best news that you've 15 00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:11.959 gotten all month, all year, maybe in a decade. So 16 00:01:12.840 --> 00:01:17.959 what if what if you've been circling the same thing 17 00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:22.000 for months now, maybe even years, You've named it, you 18 00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:25.760 understand it. You can explain it to me right now, 19 00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:27.920 Like if me and you were on a call together, 20 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.359 you could explain it to me right now, in perfect detail, 21 00:01:30.840 --> 00:01:35.599 with all the reasons and all of the context, and 22 00:01:35.640 --> 00:01:39.200 I would nod right because it's a really good explanation. 23 00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:43.000 And yet you are still standing in the exact same 24 00:01:43.040 --> 00:01:47.920 spot you were standing in when it started. And somewhere 25 00:01:47.959 --> 00:01:52.640 in there right you started wondering, maybe, if you're like 26 00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:55.280 me and my other clients that I get to work with, 27 00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:59.480 what's wrong with you right? Why everybody else can figure 28 00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:04.680 this out? Why you know exactly, I mean exactly what 29 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:07.480 the problem is and you still can't move. So I 30 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:11.280 want to say this early because I think it's It 31 00:02:11.400 --> 00:02:17.159 might just take forty pounds off your chest. If you, 32 00:02:18.199 --> 00:02:21.960 my beautiful friend, have clearly identified the problem, you could 33 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:26.639 articulate it to me, and you still can't move, You 34 00:02:26.680 --> 00:02:30.360 still feel very stuck. There's a really, really good chance 35 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:33.919 that you've named the wrong problem right. The thing that 36 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:39.759 you're trying to solve was never the real problem. And 37 00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:43.400 that's why all of your efforts, all of your hours, 38 00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:45.719 all of your hard work, your blood and your sweat 39 00:02:45.759 --> 00:02:50.000 and your tears doesn't seem to be moving it. So 40 00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:52.919 I want to get specific with this because I want 41 00:02:53.159 --> 00:02:57.439 I want you to find yourself in here, in this 42 00:02:57.479 --> 00:03:02.759 conversation somewhere, So let's see. Maybe you think the problem 43 00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:05.439 is your team, right. Maybe you think it's your team 44 00:03:05.719 --> 00:03:09.759 they don't take ownership. You've got to check everything, right, 45 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:15.199 if Leah, if I could just find good people, everything 46 00:03:15.240 --> 00:03:18.520 would be different. Maybe you find yourself with that being 47 00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:20.719 the problem that you think is the problem. Maybe you 48 00:03:20.759 --> 00:03:26.360 think it's marketing. Right, nobody's seeing you. The algorithm changed, right, 49 00:03:26.360 --> 00:03:28.319 you need you need a better hook, you better, you 50 00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:30.800 need better content, you need a better strategy. You need 51 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:35.400 you need another marketing agency. Right, you think that's the problem. 52 00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:39.080 Maybe you think the problem is your adds right, they're 53 00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:42.599 not converting right, cost per late is up. You need 54 00:03:42.639 --> 00:03:45.319 a whole new agency, a whole new funnel, and a 55 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:51.039 new landing page, a new niche, a new career. Maybe 56 00:03:51.039 --> 00:03:54.280 you think the problem is you're weak, right, how much 57 00:03:54.319 --> 00:03:58.840 you actually weigh and you believe that once you lose it, 58 00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:01.520 then you'll show up, Then you'll put yourself out there. 59 00:04:01.560 --> 00:04:04.520 Then you'll be the version of yourself that you keep 60 00:04:05.319 --> 00:04:09.319 like thinking about. Maybe it's your health, maybe it's your energy, 61 00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:12.879 maybe it's your sleep. Maybe maybe if you just felt better, 62 00:04:13.960 --> 00:04:18.279 you'd finally do the thing or maybe it's money or time, 63 00:04:18.360 --> 00:04:20.560 or your spouse or the market or your kids' schedule. 64 00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:24.360 You guys have heard them all. Maybe it's the certification 65 00:04:24.439 --> 00:04:26.639 that you still feel like you need before you are 66 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:29.600 qualified to start. And here's what makes all of this 67 00:04:29.800 --> 00:04:36.959 so sneaky. Every single one of those right, can be true. Absolutely, 68 00:04:37.600 --> 00:04:40.160 every single one of those can be true. Not one 69 00:04:40.199 --> 00:04:45.680 of them is a lie. But true and real are 70 00:04:45.800 --> 00:04:49.519 two different things. I'm gonna say that again, True and 71 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:55.240 real two different things. Something can be completely factual and 72 00:04:55.399 --> 00:05:01.160 still not be the thing that's actually the problem. Right, 73 00:05:01.759 --> 00:05:08.800 so many of us are working really really hard to 74 00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:11.959 solve a problem that we've already decided is the problem. 75 00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:16.160 We're sure about it, just as I opened right, You've 76 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:20.839 got it labeled right. We try a solution, it doesn't work, 77 00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:23.639 We try another, and then we slowly decide that the 78 00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:28.920 problem is just really hard, or or we're not capable, 79 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:31.480 or we make it mean something about our own worth, 80 00:05:31.639 --> 00:05:34.160 or the timing is wrong, or maybe this isn't what 81 00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:38.240 you're cut out for. But most of the time, the 82 00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:43.040 problem that you named isn't actually the problem. You can 83 00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:47.519 be the hardest person, the hardest working person in the room, 84 00:05:48.800 --> 00:05:52.720 and get absolutely nowhere if you're working on the wrong thing. 85 00:05:53.560 --> 00:05:55.480 And that's the part that I want you to hear today. 86 00:05:55.959 --> 00:06:01.160 The stalling, the lack of progress is not a character flaw. 87 00:06:01.480 --> 00:06:06.639 The stalling the lack of progress is information, right, and 88 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:11.279 it's telling you that you haven't found the real problem yet. 89 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:12.879 Just ask me how. 90 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:13.199 I know. 91 00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:17.279 Okay, so I will get a solution to But why 92 00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:19.240 do we do it anyway? Why do we Why do 93 00:06:19.319 --> 00:06:22.920 we grab on to the wrong problem and we hold 94 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:27.759 onto it so tightly. When I share this, this epiphany 95 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:30.920 with my clients, you would think that it would be amazing. 96 00:06:31.240 --> 00:06:32.879 You would think it would be great. You would think 97 00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:34.759 that there would finally be an answer as to why 98 00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:37.879 it is that all the work that they're efforting was 99 00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:45.000 going for nothing. But yet they don't. They resist releasing 100 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:50.959 that the problem that they were so that they white 101 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:55.959 knuckled isn't actually the problem, right, And here's why, Because 102 00:06:56.000 --> 00:07:01.079 the wrong problem is safer. That's it, that's it safer. 103 00:07:01.800 --> 00:07:05.759 That's the whole reason. Right. The problem we name out 104 00:07:05.839 --> 00:07:09.399 loud is almost always the one. And I want you 105 00:07:09.439 --> 00:07:12.839 to consider this, and I'm sharing it with so much 106 00:07:12.839 --> 00:07:15.879 love and compassion. On this side it's the one that 107 00:07:15.959 --> 00:07:20.439 lets us off the hook. It's the circumstance. It's the situation. 108 00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:23.879 It's it's the other person, it's the market, it's the timing. 109 00:07:24.839 --> 00:07:28.800 It's the thing out there that we actually can't control, 110 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:35.560 which means it's the thing that even if we tried 111 00:07:35.639 --> 00:07:40.959 and efforted, there's really nothing that we can do about it. Right, 112 00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:45.920 we get to be frustrated with it, we get to 113 00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:50.680 feel like we're wrestling with something really hard. We never 114 00:07:50.839 --> 00:07:56.439 have to touch the real one, because the real problem, 115 00:07:58.279 --> 00:08:05.319 the one underneath you, usually asks something of us, something 116 00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:11.360 of us, something that is a thousand percent in our control, 117 00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:16.560 that does not feel safe, that feels very scary. Could 118 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:20.160 be a belief that we're protecting. It could be a 119 00:08:20.199 --> 00:08:23.079 fear that we don't want to look at. It could 120 00:08:23.079 --> 00:08:25.600 be a decision that we don't want to make. It 121 00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:29.720 could be a truth about ourselves that we'd rather not 122 00:08:29.759 --> 00:08:34.679 say out loud. The real problem, my friends, rarely ever 123 00:08:34.840 --> 00:08:39.759 ever ever out there. It's always in here. It's always 124 00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:42.879 in here, and in here is scarier. So we keep 125 00:08:42.919 --> 00:08:48.840 our eyes fixed on out there and call it problem solving. 126 00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:54.320 Most of the time, the circumstance is not the problem. 127 00:08:54.360 --> 00:08:58.600 As you know I teach on this show, it's not 128 00:08:58.679 --> 00:09:01.360 the circumstance. It's not the situation. It's not the team, 129 00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:03.000 it's not the market, it's not the time, it's not 130 00:09:03.039 --> 00:09:08.480 the money, it's not any of that. Your thoughts about 131 00:09:08.559 --> 00:09:14.399 that are the problem. We can work for years and 132 00:09:14.519 --> 00:09:18.840 years and years and years on trying to change a circumstance, 133 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:27.399 and we do all to avoid a twenty honest minutes 134 00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:35.960 with the thought with ourselves, which brings me to kind 135 00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:40.639 of the thesis, if you will, of this conversation, right, 136 00:09:40.799 --> 00:09:46.120 you are not overwhelmed. You're just not You are under clear. 137 00:09:46.759 --> 00:09:48.440 So I want you to sit with that for a second, 138 00:09:48.440 --> 00:09:56.000 because it reframes your whole experience. We feel overwhelmed, so 139 00:09:56.080 --> 00:10:02.879 we treat overwhelmed like it's the problem. Right, We rest, 140 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.080 we take things off our plane, we wait for a 141 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:08.799 calmer season, and none of it actually works because overwhelm 142 00:10:08.840 --> 00:10:13.279 was never the real thing either. Overwhelmed is what uncertainty 143 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:16.840 feels like when you don't know what the actual problem is. 144 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:21.600 Everything feels like the problem. You can't tell what matters 145 00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:23.679 and you can't tell what doesn't, so you carry this 146 00:10:23.720 --> 00:10:30.360 whole tangled mess. And so The answer to overwhelm is 147 00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:35.039 almost never do more, and it's almost never just rest. 148 00:10:35.799 --> 00:10:39.240 The answer is get clear. And how do we get clear? 149 00:10:39.639 --> 00:10:44.759 We get clear on the real problem in one sentence, 150 00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:48.720 what is the real problem? And then when we get 151 00:10:48.759 --> 00:10:52.519 clear on the one sentence problem, the pile in this 152 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:59.200 mess of entangledment shrinks down to the one thing, to 153 00:10:59.240 --> 00:11:01.480 the one thing, and you can move on one thing. 154 00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:06.000 What we can't move on is this tangled mess of 155 00:11:06.120 --> 00:11:12.639 confusion and uncertainty. So we need clarity. We need to 156 00:11:12.679 --> 00:11:16.559 get clear on the one thing, and we can just 157 00:11:16.679 --> 00:11:20.120 leave the tangled mess. I promise you will forever be 158 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:24.279 a tangled mess. We could just set it down, access 159 00:11:24.320 --> 00:11:26.799 the sentence. So how do we find that sentence? How 160 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:31.639 do we find this real sentence? You get curious, you 161 00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:38.759 get honest, You keep asking past the comfortable answer. Right. 162 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:42.440 Here's the practice. When you name your problem, the one 163 00:11:42.440 --> 00:11:44.559 that you're so sure of, the one that people bring 164 00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:49.600 to me, you ask another question, right, And this is 165 00:11:49.639 --> 00:11:53.799 the question you ask, is this actually the problem? Or 166 00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:56.879 is this the thing I'm pointing out so I don't 167 00:11:56.960 --> 00:11:59.919 have to look at the real one? And then you 168 00:12:00.039 --> 00:12:03.919 wait for the honest answer. Got the fast one. Right, 169 00:12:04.240 --> 00:12:06.559 You're going to want to think that the answer is 170 00:12:06.600 --> 00:12:09.919 outside of you. So the minute you go outside of yourself, 171 00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:13.000 you want to bring it back to yourself. The answer 172 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:15.240 cannot be outside of you. If the answer is outside 173 00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:19.080 of us, we're screwed because we will forever be at 174 00:12:19.080 --> 00:12:24.960 the mercy of circumstances, situations, other people, teams, markets, whether time, money. 175 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:29.720 The problem is always internal, right, So if you allowed 176 00:12:29.720 --> 00:12:33.320 yourself to go outside of yourself, just bring yourself back in. Right. 177 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:37.000 What if I'm the problem, you want to be Trust me, 178 00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:39.159 you want to be the problem because if you're the problem, 179 00:12:39.279 --> 00:12:43.200 guess what else is true? You're also the solution. If 180 00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:45.759 we're waiting. If we think out here is the problem, 181 00:12:45.799 --> 00:12:50.000 then we have to wait for them to find the solution. Right. 182 00:12:50.600 --> 00:12:55.240 So you just keep asking, and you keep going, and 183 00:12:55.279 --> 00:12:57.519 you keep asking, Okay, what's the problem with that? And 184 00:12:57.559 --> 00:12:59.240 then what's the problem with that? And then what's the 185 00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:02.120 problem with that? And you just keep peeling it away 186 00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:05.840 and you'll know you'll hit it because it'll have a 187 00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:07.559 bit of a charge to it, and you'll want to 188 00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:11.559 avoid and you'll want to get distracted in the pointing 189 00:13:11.559 --> 00:13:14.759 fingers outside of yourself, and it's okay that you want 190 00:13:14.759 --> 00:13:17.360 to do that. Just hold space for yourself, bring it back, 191 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:23.120 bring it back to your self. Okay. Once you have 192 00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:28.399 the charge, you'll know that you landed on something that's true. 193 00:13:28.519 --> 00:13:31.759 And then from that that is where the work begins. 194 00:13:32.039 --> 00:13:37.720 That is where the work begins. Okay. So I want 195 00:13:37.879 --> 00:13:40.559 to walk you through what this actually looks like so 196 00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:43.320 that you can see it and maybe maybe you can 197 00:13:43.320 --> 00:13:48.120 find some relatability into these scenarios that I'm going to 198 00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:50.639 bring forward to you, and know that I'm bringing forward 199 00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:53.679 them to you so that you can get clear on 200 00:13:53.720 --> 00:13:57.799 what the actual problem is, not to discount how you 201 00:13:58.120 --> 00:14:02.159 currently feel about it. I hold beautiful space for the 202 00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:07.919 pain and suffering and frustration and discouragement that you're navigating. Okay, 203 00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:12.679 but there is a different path. But the path has 204 00:14:12.840 --> 00:14:15.639 to be clear. It has to be clear. Okay. So 205 00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:18.919 let's just say the problem that you've named is time, 206 00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:22.519 because everyone seems to think that they have a time issue. Okay. 207 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:25.960 So then you ask, what's the problem with not having 208 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:31.360 enough time? Well, everyone needs me or I'm the only 209 00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:34.720 one who can do these things, okay, and what's the 210 00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:39.519 problem with that? Well, if I let somebody else do it, 211 00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:41.879 it won't get done right, and then I'll just have 212 00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:46.039 to fix it anyway. Interesting, Okay, And what's the problem 213 00:14:46.039 --> 00:14:50.200 with that? Right? I can't trust anyone with the things 214 00:14:50.200 --> 00:14:56.519 that actually matter, okay, And what's the problem with that? Well, 215 00:14:56.559 --> 00:14:59.679 if I'm the one holding it all together, and if 216 00:14:59.679 --> 00:15:03.600 I'm not the one that everyone needs that, I'm not 217 00:15:03.639 --> 00:15:13.919 sure I'm even worth having around here? There it is, right, 218 00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:17.200 feel how completely different that is from I don't have 219 00:15:17.320 --> 00:15:19.320 enough time. The problem was never the time. We all 220 00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:22.120 have the same twenty four hours as every single person 221 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:27.080 that you know. The real problem, right, was a quiet 222 00:15:27.080 --> 00:15:30.360 belief that your value is tied to being needed, to 223 00:15:30.399 --> 00:15:35.080 being indispensable, to holding everything so tightly that nobody could 224 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:42.120 question whether you belong, that you negotiated your time for 225 00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:48.120 your value. And here's here's the truth, friends, No calendar, 226 00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:53.559 no calendar app, no AI on earth is going to 227 00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:59.279 fix that, which is exactly why you've probably tried six, seven, eight, 228 00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:05.279 ninety ten different calendars and you're still drowning. You're still drowning. 229 00:16:06.639 --> 00:16:10.240 Let's do a couple more, because I think I think 230 00:16:10.559 --> 00:16:12.480 by doing more, you'll have all of a sense. So 231 00:16:12.639 --> 00:16:15.399 these are all ones. Just again, the clients have brought 232 00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:19.840 to me, So let's talk about the ads, right, this 233 00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:21.799 is the real one, like I like literally I just 234 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:25.200 had a client just Friday. It was a practice owner. 235 00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:28.799 He needed new patients in the door. That was his 236 00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:32.639 entire frustration. That was his problem. I need new patients 237 00:16:32.679 --> 00:16:35.960 in the door, and my ads are not working. This 238 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:41.080 agency is not working, right, His entire frustration, his whole 239 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:44.279 overwhelmed friends, was writing on whether or not the agency performed. 240 00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:47.639 That was the problem. He'd named the ads. Okay, so 241 00:16:47.720 --> 00:16:50.120 let's peel it. What's the problem with the ads? Well, 242 00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:52.639 they're not converting, leah. And what's the problem with that, Well, 243 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:55.039 we're not getting enough new patients. Okay. And what's the 244 00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:57.879 problem with that? Well, if if they don't fix it, 245 00:16:57.960 --> 00:17:02.960 then I'm stuck. His entire sense of whether things were working, 246 00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:06.799 of that land we're working or not was sitting inside 247 00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:10.240 something that he does not control. So here's what I 248 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:12.920 got to ask him, what in this can you actually own? 249 00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:16.119 And that's what I'd ask you to do with whatever 250 00:17:16.279 --> 00:17:21.200 problem that's coming to mind as you're navigating and in 251 00:17:21.240 --> 00:17:23.039 this conversation with me, what is the problem that you 252 00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:25.240 think would be the problem. And what about that problem? 253 00:17:25.319 --> 00:17:28.079 Is yours to own today, now, tomorrow night, when a 254 00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:32.200 season gets easier today, what in this can you actually own? 255 00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:37.559 Because to my clients, you cannot control how that an agency performs. Sure, 256 00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:40.359 you could influence some of it, you could be a 257 00:17:40.359 --> 00:17:44.279 good partner, but you cannot control it. What you can 258 00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:48.400 control is what happens when a patient does walk through 259 00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:52.039 your door and sits down in your chair. That you 260 00:17:52.119 --> 00:17:55.319 own completely. And then the real question after that is 261 00:17:55.720 --> 00:18:02.200 are you doing that to the very best of your ability? 262 00:18:03.160 --> 00:18:08.160 And when I asked him that question, he knew that 263 00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:11.599 he wasn't. Most of us aren't. But that's exactly where 264 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:14.039 your power lives, not in the thing that you've been 265 00:18:14.039 --> 00:18:17.839 frustrated about, in the thing that you've been quietly neglecting, 266 00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:21.000 because we were so busy being frustrated about the thing 267 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:24.960 that you don't control. Team, the team, I hear this 268 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:27.319 a lot. They don't own anything, Leah. I have to 269 00:18:27.400 --> 00:18:31.680 check everything. Okay, what's the problem with that? Right? Well, 270 00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:33.599 if I don't check, it will be wrong. And what's 271 00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:35.799 the problem with that, Well, it comes back on me, 272 00:18:36.279 --> 00:18:37.960 And what's the problem with that? Well, I already have 273 00:18:38.039 --> 00:18:41.720 so much on my plate, and what's the problem with that? Well, 274 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:43.640 if I have to do it all on my own, 275 00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:47.319 then I'll never scale, I'll never hit I'll never be 276 00:18:47.400 --> 00:18:50.319 able to have a sustainable business model. I'll never hit 277 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:54.279 that multiplier, and I'll never get where I said I 278 00:18:54.440 --> 00:18:58.759 was going. And what's the problem with that? My legacy 279 00:18:58.759 --> 00:19:05.039 won't be fulfilled? Okay, okay, So legacy fulfillment is the problem, 280 00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:12.680 the team distraction, right, And once, once we can figure 281 00:19:12.680 --> 00:19:15.680 out what the legacy problem is, right, then we can 282 00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:21.880 get we can get really curious about the real problem, 283 00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:26.279 which is why you have not learned to replace yourself. Right. 284 00:19:28.279 --> 00:19:31.319 If you want a legacy, if you want a sustainable 285 00:19:31.319 --> 00:19:34.599 business model that has a that has a multiplier to it, 286 00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:38.920 you've got to be replaceable. But you cannot be the 287 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:42.160 only one creating results. At some point in time, leadership 288 00:19:42.200 --> 00:19:44.680 stops being about how much you can produce and starts 289 00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:46.400 being about whether or not you can lead your people 290 00:19:46.839 --> 00:19:50.440 to produce. And that requires you to let go, That 291 00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:53.240 requires you to transition yourself, That requires you to replace 292 00:19:53.279 --> 00:19:56.079 yourself into the next level. The team is not what's 293 00:19:56.079 --> 00:20:03.680 capping you. Your unwillingness to be replaceable is what's capping you. Right, 294 00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:07.599 So let's talk about all the excuses, because this is 295 00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:11.960 where people get stuck in this loop forever. When you've 296 00:20:12.039 --> 00:20:15.440 named the wrong problem, you will stall out. And because 297 00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:18.640 you're stalling, you'll reach for a reason. I don't have time, 298 00:20:18.680 --> 00:20:20.599 I don't have the resources, right, I need to learn 299 00:20:20.640 --> 00:20:24.559 more first. Now's not the right season. Okay, every one 300 00:20:24.599 --> 00:20:29.279 of those sounds completely reasonable, and that's exactly what makes 301 00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:33.400 them work. A good excuse is just a true enough 302 00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:36.519 statement standing in front of the real problem so you 303 00:20:36.519 --> 00:20:41.119 don't have to look at it. And confusion one of 304 00:20:41.119 --> 00:20:44.720 the most comfortable excuses of all. Confusion is often a 305 00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:48.279 choice that we make because it's more comfortable than deciding. 306 00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:50.359 And as long as you're confused, you're off the hook. 307 00:20:50.559 --> 00:20:53.359 You don't have to act, act, you don't have to ask, 308 00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:55.119 you don't have to risk, you don't have to be 309 00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:59.440 wrong because you're still figuring it out. Confusion feels like 310 00:20:59.559 --> 00:21:03.160 working on it, but it's actually just a really sophisticated 311 00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:09.119 way of not working on it. So here's what's waiting 312 00:21:09.160 --> 00:21:15.759 on the other side of clarity, right, Because it's the 313 00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:19.519 reason it's worth the discomfort. The moment you name the 314 00:21:19.559 --> 00:21:23.079 real problem. Like I said, the pile shrinks, the noise 315 00:21:23.119 --> 00:21:26.759 strops that low hum of overwhelm and uncertainty that you've 316 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:30.960 been carrying, right, the thing that makes everything feel urgent 317 00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:36.319 and also impossible quiets down because you finally know what 318 00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:40.839 you're dealing with, the one sentence problem. The real thing, however, 319 00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:44.519 hard is so much lighter than a thousand vague ones, 320 00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:50.160 all all entwined in a nott. And when that happens, 321 00:21:50.440 --> 00:21:54.119 you get your energy back right, Carrying a tangled mess 322 00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:57.400 that you've been trying to sort out and wondering why 323 00:21:57.400 --> 00:22:01.599 you're not making progress is exhausting. Get clear. All that 324 00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:05.319 energy comes back, and now you can point it something okay, 325 00:22:05.480 --> 00:22:07.799 Because once you have the real problem, you don't need 326 00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:11.920 a whole plan. You need the right next action, one 327 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:17.839 action that actually matches the real problem. Right, because think 328 00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:20.000 about what most of us been doing. We have been 329 00:22:20.039 --> 00:22:23.160 taking action on a problem that was never the problem, 330 00:22:24.279 --> 00:22:28.240 real action, for sure, hard action, expensive action sometimes even, 331 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:30.559 and then wondering why we still feel stuck, why we're 332 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:32.319 still not making the progress that we want, and getting 333 00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:36.720 more and more confused about what to do next. Again, 334 00:22:37.160 --> 00:22:39.920 the confusion makes sense. Of course, you don't know what 335 00:22:39.960 --> 00:22:44.440 to do next. You've been acting and taking steps efforting 336 00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:46.880 a wrong problem. So nothing you do land and nothing 337 00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:52.559 will land, And so you stop trusting yourself, You stop 338 00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:58.240 trusting that you are the asset. But when the problem 339 00:22:58.359 --> 00:23:02.480 is right, the next action gets really obvious, and it's 340 00:23:02.599 --> 00:23:08.680 usually really small, and it's usually uncomfortable, and it's usually 341 00:23:09.559 --> 00:23:11.440 sitting right there in front of you. 342 00:23:12.599 --> 00:23:12.839 Right. 343 00:23:13.319 --> 00:23:20.279 So, if the real problem is that you haven't asked anybody, right, 344 00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:26.160 that's the problem. People are telling me about their ads 345 00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:28.519 not working or their marketing is not working, and they've 346 00:23:28.519 --> 00:23:32.880 tried everything and nothing works. I will ask, how many 347 00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:36.440 asks have you asked? What if you don't have a 348 00:23:36.480 --> 00:23:39.839 business problem, you have an offer problem, how many of 349 00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:43.960 you asked? Okay, the right next action is one ask 350 00:23:44.480 --> 00:23:48.160 today today? If if the real problem is that you 351 00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:54.279 cannot replace yourself, right, it's handing handing over one thing 352 00:23:55.720 --> 00:24:00.200 to one person and not taking it back ever. Right. 353 00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:04.119 You don't need the whole trip mapped, You just need 354 00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:12.440 the one next step. Right. So clarity is a decision. 355 00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:18.200 We treat clarity, and this is something that I'm going 356 00:24:18.279 --> 00:24:22.599 to end this conversation with. We treat clarity like it's 357 00:24:22.599 --> 00:24:24.920 a feeling that's supposed to arrive, like one day we'll 358 00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:27.880 wake up and we'll just feel clear, and then we'll move. 359 00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:30.279 And so we wait and we wait to feel ready, 360 00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:33.680 to feel sure, to feel clear. And the waiting is 361 00:24:33.720 --> 00:24:38.319 the trap, because that feeling is not coming to rescue you. 362 00:24:39.079 --> 00:24:42.000 Clarity isn't something you wait for. It is something that 363 00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:44.839 you decide on. It is something that you choose so 364 00:24:44.920 --> 00:24:47.599 you get clear the same way you get anything else 365 00:24:47.640 --> 00:24:51.000 worth having. On purpose. You sit down, you ask the 366 00:24:51.079 --> 00:24:56.160 honest questions, right, you separate what's actually happening from what 367 00:24:56.200 --> 00:24:59.960 you can own about it. What in this can I own? 368 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:04.440 Feel past the comfortable answer, and you get you get, 369 00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:09.079 you get, you get courageous to go underneath and what 370 00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:11.000 would be the problem with that? And what would you 371 00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:15.359 will land on the uncomfortable truth of the problem, and 372 00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:16.960 then when you get really clear on that, you will 373 00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:19.440 have a sentence. And then once you have that sentence, 374 00:25:19.640 --> 00:25:21.880 you will know the next right action to take. I 375 00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:26.079 promise you, okay. Clarity is a decision that you make 376 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:30.119 on purpose, And the most self led thing that you 377 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:34.039 can do is stop waiting, stop waiting to feel clear 378 00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:39.759 and just start choosing to get clear. So I put 379 00:25:39.799 --> 00:25:42.640 all of this in front of you, because this is 380 00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:44.960 exactly where my people and I are living this entire 381 00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:48.559 month in our lab. Right, getting clear is so much 382 00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:53.000 harder alone. It's so when it's in your head with 383 00:25:53.079 --> 00:25:55.359 the same thoughts circling the same way they always do. 384 00:25:55.960 --> 00:26:00.839 It's really hard to untangle that mess. One session, one coach, 385 00:26:00.920 --> 00:26:04.440 we can get that sentence extracted, so you can begin 386 00:26:04.519 --> 00:26:06.759 working on the problem that's actually the problem and not 387 00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:09.720 the one that you have been thinking is the problem 388 00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:12.759 and efforting and working so hard on. So if that 389 00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:15.799 is you, if you believe that it's possible that you've 390 00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:17.839 been working on the wrong problem for too long, now, 391 00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.799 come into the lab. Come into the lab and do 392 00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:25.599 the work with us. We will find the real problem. 393 00:26:25.640 --> 00:26:28.240 We will build a solution that actually solves for the 394 00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:32.039 real problem, instead of continuing to let you sabotage yourself 395 00:26:32.039 --> 00:26:33.599 by indulging it a problem that you believe is the 396 00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:36.559 problem when it never was. So if you're not with 397 00:26:36.640 --> 00:26:39.759 us in the lab, let this be the episode that 398 00:26:39.799 --> 00:26:42.200 you decide that, Let this be the conversation that you're like, 399 00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:45.960 I am done trying to effort it this in the 400 00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:48.440 way that I have been doing. Maybe I was wrong 401 00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:51.640