Speaker 1: Enogy, s cancel, I'm so high, sage cansage, it's not
Speaker 1: sorry and energy.
Speaker 2: Oh me, I'm just isolating myself in the corner and
Speaker 2: not talking to you, literally anyone. And my face looks
Speaker 2: like it's about to bite your head off because I'm
Speaker 2: just totally fine and chill. Nothing's bothering me ever. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: does that sound familiar. So many of us have tried
Speaker 2: to act like we're all fine and dandy. Everything is
Speaker 2: just sunshine and rainbows and nothing ever bothers me. Let
Speaker 2: me just tell you right now, all that's going to
Speaker 2: get you is low level relationships with people who need
Speaker 2: mothering and who cannot see you. Recently, in Taylor Swift's
Speaker 2: new album, she has a song eldest Daughter, and she says,
Speaker 2: I said I didn't believe in marriage, but that was
Speaker 2: a lie. Right. That hit home with me because so
Speaker 2: many of us want to be seen, want to be heard,
Speaker 2: want to be loved. Yet we're lying to ourselves and
Speaker 2: in lying to our partners and still expecting for them
Speaker 2: to somehow break the mold beyond the millions of masks
Speaker 2: that we're wearing, and somehow they're gonna know us, know
Speaker 2: what to give us know how to make us happy.
Speaker 2: That doesn't really make any sense. In fact, if we're
Speaker 2: lying to ourselves and lying to them about what we need,
Speaker 2: we actually don't even know how to make ourselves happy.
Speaker 2: So let's start there. Remember, no man is your friend,
Speaker 2: No man is your enemy. Every single man is your portal.
Speaker 2: So if you feel like no one is meeting your needs,
Speaker 2: no one is seeing you, no one's there for you,
Speaker 2: perhaps you're not giving them space to see you, know you,
Speaker 2: and be there for you. Why do we lie to
Speaker 2: ourselves to others. It's not because we are these dark
Speaker 2: demons trying to manipulate everyone. No, we are trying to
Speaker 2: protect ourselves. We have convinced ourselves, through our human experience,
Speaker 2: that we don't need so much. That we're fine, We're
Speaker 2: low maintenance, we're so chill, we're so cool. We allow
Speaker 2: ourselves to get disrespected by our friends, by our partners,
Speaker 2: and we slap on a happy face. We allow people
Speaker 2: to completely disregard our emotions and we act like it's okay.
Speaker 2: For what might I ask? The truth is, we are
Speaker 2: so scared, and we are scared to admit that we
Speaker 2: are scared. We are scared to need we are scared
Speaker 2: to be disappointed. We are scared to be too much.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. When we lie to ourselves about
Speaker 2: what we need and therefore cannot be honest and communicate
Speaker 2: what we need with our partners, we block the entire
Speaker 2: channel for those needs to ever be met. If you
Speaker 2: ask for the chicken caesar salad, how the hell are
Speaker 2: you going to get the chicken palm. If you can't
Speaker 2: communicate to yourself what you need, it's going to be
Speaker 2: near damn impossible to get your partner to understand what
Speaker 2: you need. To your coworker, your friend. I don't care
Speaker 2: what relationship you are in. You need to know how
Speaker 2: to be in touch with yourself and therefore communicate to others.
Speaker 2: This recent librot new Moon is calling us to be
Speaker 2: erotically honest. Can we take off the mask? Can we
Speaker 2: stop being shameful about what it is we need. I
Speaker 2: used to feel embarrassed, embarrassed to say, hey, you know,
Speaker 2: I actually do need you to text me in the morning.
Speaker 2: And why did I feel embarrassed Because other people made
Speaker 2: me feel like it was a big deal. Other people
Speaker 2: made me feel like I was asking for too much.
Speaker 2: I was not asking for too much. I was asking
Speaker 2: the wrong person and maybe there is a difference. There
Speaker 2: is a difference. This Libra new Moon is inviting us
Speaker 2: to intend how we want to feel in relationship, what
Speaker 2: we want to receive in relationship, what we want in relationship.
Speaker 2: This is all about asking ourselves. Are my relationships balanced?
Speaker 2: Do I feel seen and heard? And if I don't,
Speaker 2: am I giving them space to even show up for me?
Speaker 2: Am I being honest about my truth? So we're going
Speaker 2: to talk about it. What's a positive bitches? How are
Speaker 2: you doing today? You're hearing this episode. You are meant
Speaker 2: to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch is
Speaker 2: Positive podcast. Sometimes we're gonna laugh. Other times, baby, we're
Speaker 2: gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our
Speaker 2: most empowered, positive bitchself. That is Babe in true connection
Speaker 2: with herself, himself, human self. I don't care if you
Speaker 2: identify ask cucumber. If you want to step into your
Speaker 2: most magnetic timeline, then you have simply come to the
Speaker 2: right place. This podcast is all about unbecoming who we
Speaker 2: are not so we can fully step into exactly who
Speaker 2: we came here to be. Can I get an eight men?
Speaker 2: If you are wanting to really in this season, place
Speaker 2: yourself on a pedestal. Your pedestal to be specific, get
Speaker 2: the pedestal path course. The link will be in the
Speaker 2: show notes. It is the perfect pairing for this episode. Also,
Speaker 2: if you want a track to help you get that
Speaker 2: mind right, then make sure to rewire your mind and
Speaker 2: make your mind with my very own affirmation track. Link
Speaker 2: will be in the bio. If you want step by
Speaker 2: step guide to unlocking your most magnetic self, my books
Speaker 2: Show Up as Her is the perfect book for you.
Speaker 2: It is ten laws of positive biology to help you
Speaker 2: magnify your energy to attract exactly what you want, feel
Speaker 2: your best, look your best, and get your best results.
Speaker 2: Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. I have
Speaker 2: some team. Recently, my friend is going through something with
Speaker 2: her partner and she has had that canon moment. I
Speaker 2: swear every single one of us women have this moment
Speaker 2: in our life where we realize we're in a long
Speaker 2: term relationship and we're giving so much more than we're getting.
Speaker 2: We feel underappreciated, undervalued, we don't feel seen, we feel overlooked,
Speaker 2: and that moment in a woman's life is truly initiation
Speaker 2: into her power where Damn, I've been told that I
Speaker 2: have to perform in order to get love. I've been
Speaker 2: told I have to be a certain way in order
Speaker 2: to attract a partner. It's been all about them, But
Speaker 2: what about me? And once we pass that threshold of
Speaker 2: feeling undervalued, there is no going back. It's like the
Speaker 2: feral feminine wakes up within us and oh, you don't
Speaker 2: want to be around when it happens, But damn is
Speaker 2: it a beautyful thing? So this has been happening in
Speaker 2: my friend's life, and her partner kept asking her, Okay,
Speaker 2: I hear you, but what do you need from me?
Speaker 2: What do you need? That was the question over and
Speaker 2: over and over again. And I swear the masculine energy,
Speaker 2: when it is healed enough anyway, does want to give
Speaker 2: to the feminine, because the masculine is the giver. So
Speaker 2: there is, when it's healthy enough, this natural inclination. I
Speaker 2: want to give to you. What do you need? Can
Speaker 2: I give it to you? And so forth. She is
Speaker 2: upset that he doesn't know what she needs, and we've
Speaker 2: all been there, and she communicated to him, to me,
Speaker 2: you should know what I need. You should know what
Speaker 2: I need by now sound familiar. We've all had that experience.
Speaker 2: We're looking at this person we've been dating for so long,
Speaker 2: we're able to into it. Would they need? Why the
Speaker 2: hell can they not into it what we need? And
Speaker 2: there could be multiple answers here. Could be the wrong person.
Speaker 2: It could also be they've never been in this type
Speaker 2: of relationship. It could be they weren't taught by their
Speaker 2: mother how to give to the feminine. It could be
Speaker 2: so many different things. But here's what I want to
Speaker 2: bring to you. We cannot I don't care how long
Speaker 2: you have known them. We cannot expect people to read
Speaker 2: our minds. My own mother doesn't know what I need
Speaker 2: sometimes and says the worst sentence I could possibly conceive
Speaker 2: to me where my brain wants to fall out of
Speaker 2: my head and bury itself into the ground for seventy
Speaker 2: two years, And I wish I could unhear. If my
Speaker 2: own mother doesn't know what I need sometimes, if I
Speaker 2: don't even know what I need sometimes, how could I
Speaker 2: expect someone else to know what I need? We expect
Speaker 2: people to into it what we need before we even
Speaker 2: know what we need, and when we don't, we label
Speaker 2: them as emotionally unavailable, as disconnected as bad. But the
Speaker 2: truth is people aren't mind readers. And the reason we
Speaker 2: don't say what we need most often is because we
Speaker 2: think it's gonna make us sound needy. We don't want
Speaker 2: to sound like a spoiled brat. We feel like in
Speaker 2: the past when we did say what we needed, we
Speaker 2: were disappointed because someone couldn't rise to meet our needs,
Speaker 2: or we were told we were being too much. So
Speaker 2: we don't even want to say it. We just want
Speaker 2: them to to know. Listen, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Speaker 2: If you have a need, you can't expect someone to
Speaker 2: just know what that need is. You need to communicate it.
Speaker 2: And she was saying to me, maybe it's because he's young.
Speaker 2: It's not an age thing. I have dated men from
Speaker 2: twenty seven my age to forty one. Let me tell you,
Speaker 2: it's not an age thing. It's not an age thing.
Speaker 2: You have to communicate what it is you need. I
Speaker 2: literally work as an intuitive channel, and sometimes I might
Speaker 2: misread what my partner's going through, what they need because
Speaker 2: I am not them, and I can be as intuitive
Speaker 2: as I want, and usually I can kind of sense
Speaker 2: it out, but I'm not one hundred percent correct. Because
Speaker 2: I'm not them, and sometimes they don't know what they
Speaker 2: even want or need. I do think we need to
Speaker 2: give our partners great simultaneously, we need to be willing
Speaker 2: to speak up for ourselves. If no one has told
Speaker 2: you thus far, you are not needy because you have needs.
Speaker 2: That's called being a human, that's called existing. That's actually amazing.
Speaker 2: If you're able to identify and communicate your needs, that
Speaker 2: makes you highly emotionally intelligent. It also makes your partner's
Speaker 2: job so much easier. I've had so many men tell me, Ceci,
Speaker 2: you are the best communicator. I'm so happy you just
Speaker 2: tell me what you need so I can give it
Speaker 2: to you. I recently have that happened to me. Literally,
Speaker 2: a man telling me, I just need you to tell
Speaker 2: me what you need and I will do it. And
Speaker 2: whatever it is, just let me know and I can
Speaker 2: do it for you. I wasn't insulted that I had
Speaker 2: to tell him what I need. I thought, great, I
Speaker 2: can say what I want, I can speak up for
Speaker 2: myself and he's just gonna do it. Perfect works for me.
Speaker 2: There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself. There's nothing wrong
Speaker 2: for saying what you need, and that doesn't mean that's
Speaker 2: a bad partner or that there's something wrong with them.
Speaker 2: It means this is a healthy relationship where communication must
Speaker 2: be had. The less you communicate your needs, it's a
Speaker 2: direct correlation, the more likely they're going to go unmet.
Speaker 2: Resentment will grow. Silence will not help you. I know
Speaker 2: there's an urge to jump ship before they can jump ship.
Speaker 2: I know there's an urge to just be the cool girl,
Speaker 2: acts like it doesn't bother you. What does that get
Speaker 2: you so you can go home and cry into your
Speaker 2: bed later that no one loves you, that no one
Speaker 2: can see you. Baby, be honest. Are you seeing yourself
Speaker 2: if you're unwilling to even communicate what you need? Are
Speaker 2: you seeing yourself if you're unwilling to just speak up
Speaker 2: to me? That sounds like self? But try let's start here.
Speaker 2: Do you even know what you need? Sometimes we don't,
Speaker 2: And that's okay. We have been so busy protecting ourselves,
Speaker 2: pretending to be easy going, pretending to not care, that
Speaker 2: a lot of us have lost touch with our intuition,
Speaker 2: with our truth. I do want to say there are
Speaker 2: basic human needs that every human should have an understanding about.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about respect, kindness, honesty, safety, consistency, not cheating,
Speaker 2: like those are basic things that should not have to
Speaker 2: be said. I mean, come on, now, I know to
Speaker 2: not lie to my friend, to not hurt my friend.
Speaker 2: Everyone should know that basic human needs. Okay, fine, those
Speaker 2: are non negotiables. If you don't have those, what are
Speaker 2: you even doing in that dynamic? But beyond that, you
Speaker 2: might need to communicate specific needs. A good morning text,
Speaker 2: a phone call once a day time on the weekends,
Speaker 2: verbal reassurance, physical affection, someone to pray with, laugh with,
Speaker 2: plan with. I tell men straight up, I like more
Speaker 2: so traditional gender roles. It's not going to be exact
Speaker 2: because we live in a modern world. But I'm not
Speaker 2: going on a date and splitting it with you. To
Speaker 2: me voltaile discuss grotesque. I won't be able to look
Speaker 2: at you. Some may say that's extreme. I'm just being honest.
Speaker 2: If someone tells me that's too much, okay, baby boo,
Speaker 2: love peace and uh wish you well, I have other
Speaker 2: things to do. Begone, begone. That's it. I have expressed
Speaker 2: what I've needed to some people. For example, I've needed
Speaker 2: a good morning text because it was long distance and
Speaker 2: he was forty You think he could do that, right, Well,
Speaker 2: you're wrong. He could, he couldn't. And when he said
Speaker 2: he couldn't, I said, okay, well this just doesn't work
Speaker 2: for me. I don't feel like you're pursuing me. I
Speaker 2: don't feel like you're in your mask and energy creating
Speaker 2: a safe space. This is important to me. I have
Speaker 2: made sure that whatever you needed you got, so you're
Speaker 2: not reciprocating that same energy. I don't want to do
Speaker 2: this anymore, and I didn't. There have been other men
Speaker 2: who said a good morning text, I could totally do that.
Speaker 2: That's not a big deal at all. That's nothing. That's
Speaker 2: light work, and therefore they got the opportunity to get
Speaker 2: to know me on a deeper level. You have to
Speaker 2: have non negotiables, you have to have boundaries to even
Speaker 2: let these people in your life. I mean, you cannot
Speaker 2: be allowing just any Joe schmil and their father into
Speaker 2: your orbit. You gotta vet these people out of love
Speaker 2: for yourself and them. I'm not wasting their time, and
Speaker 2: I'm certainly not going to waste my own. If something
Speaker 2: isn't someone's style, we don't hate them, we don't blame them.
Speaker 2: We just say awesome, cool, not for me next. If
Speaker 2: you don't like the ice cream flavor Rocky Road, you're
Speaker 2: not mad at the ice cream flavor, you just don't
Speaker 2: eat it. If you don't like the flavor chocolate, you're
Speaker 2: not mad at it, you just don't eat it. If
Speaker 2: you don't like the flavor that someone's bringing to your table,
Speaker 2: you don't have to be mad at it, you just
Speaker 2: don't eat it. You do not fill in their silences
Speaker 2: with your own imagination. You do not romanticize them. You
Speaker 2: do not see who they could be. You just see
Speaker 2: them for who they are and allow that to be it.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Thank you so much. Instead of
Speaker 2: me trying to decode someone, they can just tell me
Speaker 2: if they can provide what I need or not, and
Speaker 2: I can move on, and so can they. Speaking your
Speaker 2: needs is never going to push away the right person.
Speaker 2: It's only going to attract them closer to you. It's
Speaker 2: going to show you who you should remove, and please
Speaker 2: be my guest and do so. It's a filter. It
Speaker 2: filters in what and who is for you, and it
Speaker 2: filter out what can never rise to meet you. Sometimes
Speaker 2: when you're in this season of trying to discover what
Speaker 2: it is you need I want you to not just
Speaker 2: have grace with them, have grace with yourself. Okay, this
Speaker 2: is the first time you're being this human. Yes, you
Speaker 2: may have been to Earth a plethora of times, but
Speaker 2: this is the first time that you are you. So
Speaker 2: it might take some seasons, some relationships, some time alone
Speaker 2: to figure out what do I need. Even asking yourself
Speaker 2: this simple question, intending to know what do I need,
Speaker 2: it will start to show you what you want and
Speaker 2: what you need. I was talking to someone and one
Speaker 2: night he told me, look, I'm super exhausted, and I
Speaker 2: knew he had a long day. He asked me, do
Speaker 2: you mind if we don't FaceTime tonight. I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: head to bed and I said, yeah, yeah, that's fine,
Speaker 2: don't worry about it. And in the moment that was
Speaker 2: true for me. It was fine. I didn't mind go
Speaker 2: to sleep. I was busy. I still had like an
Speaker 2: hour and a half of things I had to get to.
Speaker 2: And when about two hours passed, I realized, I feel
Speaker 2: something in my body that I don't like. I fell off.
Speaker 2: I felt weird, I felt upset, and I realized, oh,
Speaker 2: what I thought was okay, wasn't I missed hearing his voice.
Speaker 2: I missed having that time to just chat. What often
Speaker 2: happens with the masculine energy is when there's distance, the
Speaker 2: masculine energy wants to grow closer for a lot of them,
Speaker 2: not all of them, but for a lot of them.
Speaker 2: But for the feminine energy, when there's distance, we tend
Speaker 2: to yeah, we'll miss them, but if there's too much
Speaker 2: of it, we tend to kind of unplug. It's an
Speaker 2: opposite effect. Some distance for the masculine, they want to
Speaker 2: come closer, some distance. For the feminine, we tend to
Speaker 2: plug a bit. And that was happening to me. I
Speaker 2: felt it. I felt the oh, there's too much space here,
Speaker 2: and I don't like how this feels. The next day
Speaker 2: I said, hey, I misjudged the situation. I thought I
Speaker 2: was going to be fine with the no phone call thing,
Speaker 2: but I really felt off. I felt kind of sad,
Speaker 2: and I missed you. There is so much beauty in
Speaker 2: not only learning as you go. You're allowed to change
Speaker 2: your mind, you're allowed to misjudge a situation, but then
Speaker 2: expressing it. When you express what you need, it's a
Speaker 2: sign not only of high emotional intelligence, but of confidence.
Speaker 2: You're saying, I'm willing to say what it is I
Speaker 2: want and what I need because I'm willing to be
Speaker 2: brave and go out on a limb and make sure
Speaker 2: I get what I want and what I need. I'm
Speaker 2: not going to siphen myself or act like I'm fine
Speaker 2: when I'm not. I'm not going to betray myself for another.
Speaker 2: I know that I'm valuable enough to speak on what
Speaker 2: I need and therefore get it. This process doesn't have
Speaker 2: to be perfect. It's not gonna be perfect. You're gonna
Speaker 2: be learning yourself in real time, and that's okay. There
Speaker 2: are gonna be times where you know you need and
Speaker 2: there's gonna be times where you misjudge it. So allow
Speaker 2: some trial and error to happen and give yourself grace.
Speaker 2: I really feel like that is the name of the
Speaker 2: game this season, giving ourselves grace, Let yourself learn yourself,
Speaker 2: give yourself time, and if you're not sure where to
Speaker 2: start with what you need, you can ask yourself some questions.
Speaker 2: What situations strained me? Okay, maybe I need less of
Speaker 2: those and more of what fills me up. When do
Speaker 2: I feel unseen or unsafe? Is it because my partner
Speaker 2: isn't seeing me or is it because I'm not expressing myself.
Speaker 2: I would literally get so mad at people for not
Speaker 2: knowing how I was feeling. But I wasn't telling them.
Speaker 2: And I'm a real good actress when I need to be.
Speaker 2: Most women are anyway, as I was saying, I would
Speaker 2: get so mad, and I was keeping myself in a
Speaker 2: cycle of self rejection because I was emotionally addicted to it.
Speaker 2: I felt abandoned by friends, by family, by partners, and
Speaker 2: I wouldn't allow myself to break the cycle, and I
Speaker 2: would allow myself to feel rejected once again when they
Speaker 2: couldn't realize what I was feeling. But I had more
Speaker 2: control than I was allowing myself to take. I could
Speaker 2: have expressed myself. I could have said I wasn't happy.
Speaker 2: I could have said I needed more, but I didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't because I didn't think maybe I was worthy
Speaker 2: of more, or because I didn't want to be alone,
Speaker 2: because because because it doesn't matter. Though, What matters is
Speaker 2: you learn yourself, because you came here first and foremost
Speaker 2: to exist and know the energy you incarnated as you
Speaker 2: can ask yourself, what did I crave as a child
Speaker 2: wile that I still long for? Is it a safe space.
Speaker 2: Is it someone who listens? Is it someone I can
Speaker 2: share my wildest dreams with and not be judged for them?
Speaker 2: What is it? Self? Reflection is going to help you
Speaker 2: a lot more than scrolling on TikTok all day. I
Speaker 2: recently have been thinking a lot about relationships through my
Speaker 2: own experiences, but also just seeing my friends experiences and
Speaker 2: hearing the online narrative, and okay, concerned, concerned. I recently
Speaker 2: channel that there are three levels to love, and a
Speaker 2: lot of what I'm seeing, unfortunately, is level one and two.
Speaker 2: Level one is when we're acting from our wounds. We're codependent,
Speaker 2: We're anxious, We're so afraid to be alone, so we
Speaker 2: just give, give, give, give give. We're attracting narcissistic personalities,
Speaker 2: people who need mothers, those with addictions, because we ourselves
Speaker 2: are so wounded and we cannot identify with anything but
Speaker 2: the people please are the mother. So we attract those
Speaker 2: who want to be a parasitic energy and feed on
Speaker 2: our light rather than love us. We are attracting people
Speaker 2: who are our wound mates, not our soul mates. And yes,
Speaker 2: is this valuable because hopefully we can learn from it
Speaker 2: and break out of it. But do we want it? No, no,
Speaker 2: we don't. But so many people online leave them before
Speaker 2: they can leave, you, get them before they can get you.
Speaker 2: Use them as an ATM. What I'm sorry. I resonate
Speaker 2: more with a Disney narrative to love, which I believe
Speaker 2: is closer to divine union than most of what we're
Speaker 2: seeing on the planet. Does art imitate us or do
Speaker 2: we imitate art? I don't know. I don't know. Isn't
Speaker 2: that the question of the freaking century? I don't know
Speaker 2: the answer. What I do know is that these Disney
Speaker 2: fairy tales light something up within us for good reason.
Speaker 2: Perhaps they're actually the divine design to divine union, and
Speaker 2: that's why we feel so deeply for them. And whatever
Speaker 2: we're experiencing in our simulation is the BS. Our life
Speaker 2: is pretty much a movie anyway. It's just a simulation,
Speaker 2: is a bunch of particles. Who's to say which is
Speaker 2: the real divine design. Most of us are living at
Speaker 2: level one, acting from our wounds, attracting people who remind
Speaker 2: us of our caregivers, rather than allowing ourselves to open
Speaker 2: up to a new definition of love. Then there's level two,
Speaker 2: which is transactional love. Tit for tat. I'll do this
Speaker 2: if you do that keeping score. I see a lot
Speaker 2: of this. I think Shira seven or whatever her name is,
Speaker 2: is really funny, but a lot of it is, Yeah,
Speaker 2: use them for what they have and they'll give you this.
Speaker 2: And maybe sometimes you'll do that, but you're really just
Speaker 2: doing it so they give you this. I don't feel
Speaker 2: like making business deals all the time because I do
Speaker 2: feel like that's just making a deal. The devil is
Speaker 2: your relationship more than just love. Do you have to
Speaker 2: have aligned values and aligned vision? Absolutely? Yes. So you
Speaker 2: can say, well, it's kind of like going into business,
Speaker 2: but your business is going to be your overall life.
Speaker 2: That's fine, but it should not be a transactional thing
Speaker 2: unless you want it to be. I mean, it's your life.
Speaker 2: You get to choose your adventure. But don't you want
Speaker 2: more to me? I want more? I want more. I
Speaker 2: want level three, which is absolute devotion, showing up so
Speaker 2: much for yourself that you overflow into them, showing up
Speaker 2: for them because it's who you are, not because you're
Speaker 2: keeping score and wondering what you're going to get back.
Speaker 2: I personally think if you can't be devoted to me,
Speaker 2: if you don't want to study me like I'm your
Speaker 2: favorite subject. If you don't want to learn my language
Speaker 2: to understand me, what are we doing? Because that's what
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do for you. I'm going to learn every
Speaker 2: single part of you. I'm gonna know you inside and out.
Speaker 2: I'm going to literally look at your soul like it
Speaker 2: is its own universe, and I am going to discover
Speaker 2: it like well, I was gonna say, like Christopher Columbus,
Speaker 2: but perhaps I could do it in a better way. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna discover it in a way that's not cancelable. Cancellable. Sure, fine, Okay?
Speaker 2: Moving on level three is where I want to exist?
Speaker 2: Where do you want to exist? Here's a coveyat. You
Speaker 2: can't exist at level three though, if you don't know yourself,
Speaker 2: How are you supposed to meet someone deeply? If you
Speaker 2: can't meet yourself DEEPLYO mm hmm, how are you supposed
Speaker 2: to understand what they need? If you don't know what
Speaker 2: you need? How can they know what you need if
Speaker 2: you don't express yourself as well? Ooh, it's almost as
Speaker 2: if people are mirroring us, and where we are at
Speaker 2: you don't necessarily get what you want, you get where
Speaker 2: you are. You get what you embody, you get what
Speaker 2: you broadcast. So many people assume that when they're expressing
Speaker 2: their needs, they're being needy. But expressing your needs is
Speaker 2: actually putting yourself on the pedestal. It says, I'm not
Speaker 2: going to abandon myself for temporary comfort, validation, or potential. No. No,
Speaker 2: I'm going to make sure that I see myself, that
Speaker 2: I value myself, and I express myself. When you say
Speaker 2: what you need, one of two things is going to happen.
Speaker 2: They will either rise to meet you, and the relationship
Speaker 2: will expand, possibly into level three. It will grow deeper,
Speaker 2: you'll feel more love than ever. It's going to create
Speaker 2: a new definition of love. Oh, they don't want to
Speaker 2: do it. They can't do it, they don't have the
Speaker 2: capacity to do it. And you're then free to find
Speaker 2: someone who can and maybe for a season, the person
Speaker 2: who's meeting your needs is just you. Okay, Well that's fine,
Speaker 2: you're capable of that. Either way you win. They either
Speaker 2: rise to meet you or you rise yourself to meet you.
Speaker 2: But if you don't express what you need, not only
Speaker 2: are you betraying yourself, but they also have no potential
Speaker 2: to give you, to meet you where you're at. You're
Speaker 2: cutting both your feet off. There's just no upside. There's
Speaker 2: no upside. No. So with this Libra new Moon energy,
Speaker 2: we're asking ourselves, what do I truly need in love,
Speaker 2: in friendship, in partnership? What do I need from myself
Speaker 2: in order to get that? Where have I been pretending?
Speaker 2: I don't care, You'll know, you'll know wherever you feel
Speaker 2: the most resentment is where the most pretending is happening. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I do want to say. There are going to be
Speaker 2: some people in your life. These are going to be
Speaker 2: family like members or maybe coworkers, people who are just
Speaker 2: in your life, not by choice, but by circumstance that
Speaker 2: maybe can't meet some of your needs. With those people,
Speaker 2: you just speak to them less. That's all you can do.
Speaker 2: Protect your own energy from them. If you know every
Speaker 2: time you tell them good news they say something terrible
Speaker 2: to you because they're locked into fear, don't share it
Speaker 2: with them. If you know every time that you try
Speaker 2: to express yourself to them they are committed to misunderstanding,
Speaker 2: you don't express it to them. Okay, there are going
Speaker 2: to be some people not that you're choosing to necessarily
Speaker 2: be around, but might be at a family function or
Speaker 2: might be at a work event. Know your audience and
Speaker 2: act accordingly. All right, you're not here to convince people
Speaker 2: to rise to meet you. You're not here to convince
Speaker 2: people to see you. Once you express what it is
Speaker 2: you need, you're done. You're done. You're now a broccoli.
Speaker 2: You don't do anything else once you've expressed yourself. Now
Speaker 2: the ball is in their court and they can either
Speaker 2: rise or they cannot. It might take them some time,
Speaker 2: and okay, fine, you give them some grace. You watch it,
Speaker 2: you see it, and then you make your decision if
Speaker 2: you want to stay or go. The power is yours.
Speaker 2: You deserve to be loved in a way that actually
Speaker 2: feel satisfying. Don't try to settle. Don't try to convince
Speaker 2: yourself this is fine, this is fine, this is fine.
Speaker 2: If you're telling yourself this is fine, it's not fine.
Speaker 2: Don't do what I did. And I don't want to
Speaker 2: discount my seven year relationship because there were so many
Speaker 2: times that were so beautiful and I was met and
Speaker 2: I was just young. But there were so many times
Speaker 2: I would tell myself because honestly, he low key made
Speaker 2: me feel like I was too needy, and there were
Speaker 2: times where I was totally codependent. So yes, fine, but
Speaker 2: I was made to feel hard to love in that oohoo,
Speaker 2: okay tears. I was made to feel so hard to love,
Speaker 2: and my heart breaks that we as humans feel that way.
Speaker 2: My heart breaks that people of a low caliber, low
Speaker 2: capacity to give and receive love, had made us big
Speaker 2: feelers feel like we are hard to love. And it
Speaker 2: wasn't until someone recently told me You're so easy to
Speaker 2: love that it kind of clicked in my brain and
Speaker 2: I thought, oh really, because I talk really fast just
Speaker 2: to end my stories quicker so that the other person
Speaker 2: has more time to talk, because I thought I was
Speaker 2: hard to love, and I didn't express myself because I
Speaker 2: thought it was too much, because I thought I was
Speaker 2: hard to love, and I would oftentimes just shut down
Speaker 2: and pretend like everything was fine because I didn't want
Speaker 2: to be hard to love. Because I was made to
Speaker 2: feel like I was hard to love. And how many
Speaker 2: of us have freaking felt that. I know I'm not
Speaker 2: the only person who has felt that. I know. I
Speaker 2: think almost all of us have felt that, at one
Speaker 2: point or another, you are not hard to love. You
Speaker 2: were asking the wrong person. You were asking someone who
Speaker 2: wasn't capable. I don't ask cats to bark because I
Speaker 2: know they're incapable. Don't ask someone who doesn't have the
Speaker 2: capacity to love you see you and know you to
Speaker 2: do so because they're just uncapable. It's not because you're
Speaker 2: not good enough. It's not because you're hard to love.
Speaker 2: It's because they don't have the capacity. And there's a difference.
Speaker 2: If this podcast episode resonated with you, please leave a
Speaker 2: positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Please communicate with
Speaker 2: me in the comments on YouTube. It helps this podcast grow,
Speaker 2: and I'm really intending for that to happen this year.
Speaker 2: I want you to commit to yourself, to stop lying,
Speaker 2: to protect yourself. The most positive protective measure you can
Speaker 2: take is to express what it is you need. And remember,
Speaker 2: if they can't meet you where you're at, it's not rejection,
Speaker 2: it's just redirection. It's liberation. Maybe someone else will come
Speaker 2: in and meet your needs immediately, or maybe you will
Speaker 2: just meet your needs for yourself for a season, but
Speaker 2: either way, your needs will be met. I'm sending you
Speaker 2: so much love. If you've not yet gotten your copy
Speaker 2: of show up as herd be sure to do so.
Speaker 2: I'm also now offering ten minute energetic readings dm me
Speaker 2: on Instagram at vibe with CC to get yours and
Speaker 2: I will see you in the next one.
Speaker 1: Love staff, can't shame?
Speaker 2: How came? How came the jogy?
Speaker 1: No, we can't step, can't se sprat, cancers, fract