Speaker 1: For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around
the world.
Speaker 2: This is the man.
Speaker 3: Eve gilto Corn is a live and kicking co'm on
over here on I butt.
Speaker 4: You're asking us.
Speaker 1: Saying, welcome the punch drunk sports where the winners win.
We're winning. We're all in hotel rooms. Happy New Year,
Happy New Year, guys.
Speaker 2: Happy dude. Twenty twenty five.
Speaker 4: Is almost ever.
Speaker 2: It's a fucking fire, dude. It couldn't be better.
Speaker 4: Now Johnny's in Vegas. Johnny's in Vegas.
Speaker 2: Oh, Johnny's Vegas.
Speaker 4: Johnny, what hotel you in.
Speaker 3: Lagio? Never stayed? Everyone were room number six one seven?
Speaker 1: Dude, is your single friend that isn't married, that just
goes around and just lives the.
Speaker 2: Best life Johnny has always doing.
Speaker 5: Johnny has Alri's life minus the stand up, plus the girlfriend, Yes, minus.
Speaker 3: The weird shit with five year old girls.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now you said.
Speaker 1: Your damn Johnny shots fire, Johnny shots fired.
Speaker 6: Did you guys see that clip? Did you see that, Jason?
That clip was going viral?
Speaker 4: Yeah again? Yeah, Well, let me say this.
Speaker 5: I see Johnny. He tells me I'm going to Vegas.
He's going to go see the killers either tonight or
tomorrow or whatever. Awesome, great man.
Speaker 2: How are you with your girl? Johnny?
Speaker 5: Yeah, because listen he goes, Oh, my girl's out here working,
so I thought it comes. So do you have like
a fucking uh indecent proposal sitch where you're renting out
your girlfriend's twat for fifty bucks a shot?
Speaker 4: Or what's going on over.
Speaker 2: The shots fired? Figure out the spiciest punching.
Speaker 4: No, you figured it out?
Speaker 5: How much you how much? How much you're renting out
a fucking baby?
Speaker 4: Man?
Speaker 6: You know, you know they say inflation, but it was
a million dollars in that movie. It's way less than that,
I can tell you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Biden America sucks. He does fuck your
girlfriend for a proper money.
Speaker 5: The price of those hey, the price of those eggs
aren't going up, right, but all bing.
Speaker 4: We'll be right back right after this break.
Speaker 1: Have you ever joke to your female friends about paying
them for ass and then the number they throw at
you is so insanely ridiculous and you're like, you don't
even know how much your ass is worth.
Speaker 2: You think it's worth way more than it is and
it's not.
Speaker 1: They'll be like, oh, I would need like three thousand
to five thousand dollars. I'm like, bitch, you are one
hundred dollars, one hundred dollars if you're lucky.
Speaker 2: If you're lucky.
Speaker 5: I have a big fucking stand up joke about that
about you know, people like, would you suck a dick
for a million bucks? And I'm like, I know girls
that have sucked dick for like a Caesar.
Speaker 4: Salad and a movie.
Speaker 5: You're telling me you wouldn't suck a dick for a
fucking million bucks. So then I go to anybody in
the audience, you, ma'am, a million bucks, you're gonna tell
me you wouldn't suck it?
Speaker 4: Now, a homeless crazy dick to part question?
Speaker 5: Not a crazy like a nice, regular ass dick, like
my dick, for example, a million bucks, you wouldn't say,
I'm here.
Speaker 1: To tell you there was a Jason's Got Quality Dick
store in the in the twenty tens.
Speaker 5: So then they then they then they always say yeah
in the stand up Sammy there always go okay, yeah,
a million bucks, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would suck your
dick for a million bucks. I go, Second question, will
you take a postdated check that one works every time.
Speaker 1: That's great because you like you would posted it and
then then what would happen?
Speaker 5: Oh well, I mean I died before twenty thirty, before
that thing clears, and you get a fucking you know.
Speaker 4: You get your fuck get your pickle smoked?
Speaker 2: So can that be the name of the episode, pickles.
Speaker 4: Get your pickle smoked. I didn't smoke them. If you
tried my smoke pickle.
Speaker 2: But dude, I saw the funniest meme about Donald Trump.
He signed all these executive orders.
Speaker 4: Yeah, one of.
Speaker 2: Them was that gay guys can't use that voice anymore.
Speaker 4: Good luck with that.
Speaker 5: And Sammy, you're in Chicago, or you're in Potavia Orhavia,
Illinois and Batavia, and you're in there all weekend.
Speaker 2: I'm there till Sunday morning and I get back.
Speaker 4: This is where my this is where my big bone
comes in. I got a bit with.
Speaker 5: Sam tripley ladies and gentlemen. What you got my ex
wife pregnant? And I just found out about this. No,
I'm kidding.
Speaker 4: The big joke, that's not the joke. The joke was
that I was once married.
Speaker 5: Uh, dude, I didn't know you were in Chicago, not
only could I popped up this week and now it's
too late because I got a bunch of chicka dude
guests bought I Maybe tomorrow, but I got so many
fucking friends in literally Batavia. I would have had a
fucking place where I could a honk, but I didn't know.
I gotta had to keep them heads up.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe I'll be there Saturday, Indiana.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but Potato, that's a fucking ninety minute train ride.
I got a place to stay.
Speaker 2: Do you think I know that I got.
Speaker 5: A bunch of people. Well, dude, last time you were
in the suburb of Sicago, I popped over. But I
got a bunch of people that would come to see
you and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: But maybe I'll be there tomorrow, maybe not come do
the show.
Speaker 4: We'll talk.
Speaker 5: But had I known, dude, I would have that thing
would have been sold out. I'd have been blown out.
Speaker 4: Of the thing.
Speaker 1: Hang out.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I should have thought about that.
Speaker 5: I got this new merch I've been blowing out, which
is like oven mits.
Speaker 4: But there come oven mits, so he looks like an
oven mit.
Speaker 5: Jerk off with it, and then it's guess what dishwasher friendly?
Speaker 1: I Honestly, bro, that might be the greatest thing I've
ever heard in my life.
Speaker 2: Why don't we have cumi mits?
Speaker 4: Just I do? I do.
Speaker 5: I just didn't screen print my name on it, but
now I did, and dude, and the thing is, I
over ordered of them.
Speaker 4: So I have forty one thousand.
Speaker 5: I basically have a fucking semi truck out in the
fucking yard right now full of these things.
Speaker 4: I really could have used that.
Speaker 2: Let's sell it, let's go.
Speaker 4: Well, we got to blow them out. We got to
blow them out there.
Speaker 3: I'm happy to prototype those you know you want.
Speaker 6: You want some test subjects, I would love to give
it a shot round here.
Speaker 5: Well, I got some I've been filling up. I would
mind mailing to you if you if you want them.
Speaker 6: That listened to your normal mailing that you send me, Jason,
because you in the box.
Speaker 3: Just put it in the box with the other stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what's in the box. What's in the box? Man? Guys?
Speaker 5: I got a couple of gigs real quick, and say
you got any other gigs popping off.
Speaker 4: But because by the time this comes out, it'll be over,
they would have missed up.
Speaker 1: I am going to be in I'm in Columbus, Ohio
on the sixth. I'm in Pottstown, PA on the seventh,
and I'm on in the UH and then I'm in
New Jersey at.
Speaker 2: The House of excuse Me, the Dojo.
Speaker 4: Of Comedy at your own hunt.
Speaker 1: Do you ever go to New York City, Buddy, If
you ever go out that way, I will get you.
Speaker 2: A gig there.
Speaker 5: I would love to do it. Sammy won't make it
absolutely happen. You've got a lot of gigs come out.
I know you have twins, twin girls, and you're like,
get me the fuck on the road.
Speaker 1: I need to make I prefer to stay home with them,
But I would rather enjoy these years because it's gonna
get to a point where they're going to think I'm
an asshole and not like me anymore.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna like, I just want to.
Speaker 3: Uh every relationship and really enjoy.
Speaker 2: It, you know, enjoy it. It's like the road's fun.
I like it.
Speaker 1: I have to refighting the fire right now because I'm
kind of like, but you know.
Speaker 3: You're not passionate about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just don't have the same passion for like,
l A comedy is really Sam text.
Speaker 5: Kids, Sam Sammy a text on New Year's Day or
maybe New Year's Evish, and he goes, Happy New Year, Buddy,
love you, and I go, hey, Betty, love you too.
I was just gonna text you the same thing. And
he goes, I'm quitting comedy for good.
Speaker 4: Happy new you I have. I'm just irually am just
starting comedy.
Speaker 2: Love it, dude, I love it.
Speaker 1: I want to live in a world where Jason Tebow
is crushing it.
Speaker 2: That's the world I want to live in.
Speaker 5: Well, the Buckley seabouts, sam because I got a couple
of gigs I want to promote.
Speaker 4: February twenty second.
Speaker 5: February twenty second, I'm in Mexican Kentucky at the Country
Boy Brewery that's in the Georgetown area.
Speaker 2: I love Viking Kentucky.
Speaker 4: Never been. I'm very excited to do it. I've never been.
Speaker 2: Come see you.
Speaker 4: Hey, tell the come on out, buddy. Tell me it's
a chick.
Speaker 1: She's a she's a wrestler, right, send me the flyer
and I'll have her promote to her friends.
Speaker 4: That's awesome.
Speaker 5: We'll definitely do Yeah. So that's me, my buddy, Billy
Daro and Michael Gigson, who Sammy know Sammy, you put
them on.
Speaker 1: Oh we love Michael. Michael came to my show. He
did some time at my show out there.
Speaker 4: Nice.
Speaker 5: Well he's running this room down there now, so you
should talk to him about it.
Speaker 2: I love it, loves it.
Speaker 4: Pretty pretty big place.
Speaker 5: So anyways, yeah, February twenty second, and then guess what, guys,
March seven through ninth. Uh, your boy is going to
be doing the fucking show at the oh the Schumberg
improv with one certain person everyone's favorite you are, So
you ari just.
Speaker 4: On one of the one of his shows on March
seventh through nineton.
Speaker 2: So that's great. I love that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the guys guy was going to be right outside Chicago.
You knew that was pretty close to usually hit me
up anyone.
Speaker 2: Okay, so he's the better guy than me. Okay, gotcha.
Speaker 4: Month and a half ahead of time, month and a
half head.
Speaker 2: I didn't even.
Speaker 3: Think that makes it better.
Speaker 2: That makes it better. You were new rule.
Speaker 1: If I'm anywhere near Chicago, you get to go up
with my game. They want me to come play the
Comedy Bar in Chicago.
Speaker 4: I know that place. I've been there.
Speaker 2: Come gig, I could use you to just go up
there and just rest. Oh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I do there. And that's not even
that huge of the place, but I like that place.
It's a new place.
Speaker 2: It's not the old place that they used to have.
Speaker 4: They got a new pat It's by the river, right.
Speaker 2: I went to the one downtown.
Speaker 1: Every time I did a show there, a white woman
would cry at the end of the show that no,
that's the light.
Speaker 4: That's how they give you the light. And the white
woman stands up and she's crying five minutes.
Speaker 2: You are so funny, dude. One would cry every time
with her couckboyfriend.
Speaker 1: And she would just be like, you gotta learn to
punch up. I'm like, bitch, you don't know where I'm
punching from.
Speaker 5: That's a part of town for drunk white female criers.
Is yeah, baking a nicer part of downtown.
Speaker 2: I don't want to go too deep into it because
I want to save it for carrying.
Speaker 4: Their shoes there, always carrying their shoes too.
Speaker 1: But it's just like I got with this female comic
from New York and she like was insinuating I was
flirting with her, and I'm like, you represent everything that
I can never get hard for and that is unhinged
progressive female comic. Like, there's no way one of those alone.
It's like I have to I have to put a
gun to my my. The unhinged one I can handle.
Speaker 3: You spent you spend the entire lifetime earning the reputation
of someone who might be.
Speaker 4: I've never known that was someone hinged. Sam's been with
more married women than hinged women.
Speaker 2: No, not true, not true. One rule I don't have
have a lot of rules married. Here are my rules.
Speaker 4: What about dead women?
Speaker 2: No Russian chicks, no underage girls, no hue, those are
the rules.
Speaker 4: No hinged women, no a hinge.
Speaker 2: Look, I would try. They're too smart, they move too quick.
Speaker 4: They are pretty quick. So then the last thing I
want to promote them. We got a lot of sports
to get in. Guys. It's good to see you, guys.
I miss you.
Speaker 5: I found this old uh uh moleskin joke book uh
and it is just filled with fucking old dates at
the gates dude from you know, because it was just
being my punch hunk nuts mostly so every now and
then I'll throw out and then one of my old
fucking stupid ones because I was laughing.
Speaker 4: Fuck it so hard. Some of these are like four
or five years old.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 5: Uh, so here's two of them and then maybe if
I see another one, I'll throw it in the show later.
But February fourteenth, I'm at Rick Daniel's House of Puke,
sponsored by co Barf Bags.
Speaker 4: When you think barf bags, you think jim Coe.
Speaker 2: I like it. I'm in, I'm in.
Speaker 5: Then I'm at the All Male Teacher I'm at the
All Male wet Teacher contest at Farmer, Oh Farmer tan
Con in San Diego.
Speaker 4: Yesterday there says yesterday. It literally says yesterday.
Speaker 5: So guys come see me at those shows. Twenty second,
I'm in Lexington.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 5: And March seventeen nine, I'm in Strago with did you
suck it?
Speaker 4: Uh? Well, what'd you? Guys?
Speaker 5: Got a lot of sports again and a lot of
coaches moving around, But let's knock this out because we
didn't talk about. What did you guys think about our
first year with the college football twelve team tournament? We've
been begging for it, we got it. What were your thoughts?
How do you think it went? What does it need
to be improved? Does it need do they need less teams?
What do you guys think no.
Speaker 2: I thought it was absolutely awesome. I thought was great.
I think that they.
Speaker 1: They want to say that the numbers were down, but
I personally think the championship gains numbers down because it
fell on the inauguration and people are just focused on that.
I remember four years ago they were talking about during
the election between you know, Trump and Biden, that all
the ratings are down for sports, and I go, yeah,
because people are focusing more on the politics because it's
an election yere and like such a big day for
that whatever, regardless of where you stand in the political thing,
the inauguration is a big day. So everyone was focused
on that, and so you don't get the casual fan
that would tune in because there's nothing else to do.
Now they're focusing on, you know, the inauguration. So I
thought it was great. You know, they want to reseed.
I'm not necessarily against that. I do think that's weird
when you reseed a playoff. I think you should set
the structure and you know, let the bangers bang, and
you know, you know, I constantly get set videos of me,
whether it was on punch drunk, talking about how Ohio State's.
Speaker 2: Never gonna win another national championship. Completely wrong. I admit that.
I own it. One of my worst takes of all.
Speaker 3: Time'd you say that, what was that related to?
Speaker 1: Well, because that was back when they would just determine
who was the you know, this is who's in the championship.
Speaker 3: Why what was your reasoning for that?
Speaker 4: Why?
Speaker 6: Because I mean, the Ohio was saying has as much
resources as anybody, They're in a huge conference.
Speaker 4: Why were you thinking that at the time?
Speaker 2: Because I felt like they were going to have to
go through a gauntlet.
Speaker 3: Oh got you?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 2: And then you know, and I admit I was wrong.
Speaker 1: It was a wrong. It was a bad take, I
admit it. But you know, this is to me the
most real of all the championships. To go through this
kind of like if you kind of look what Ohio
State had to go through, that's a crazy gauntlet. And
I think the national champion should do that. You should
take on everybody from all these different conferences and let
the bangers bang. So I love it if they want
to have more teams. I love college football. So I'm
because when it's over, it's over.
Speaker 6: So I'm fine arresting that you say it's the most
real because like say, when like a lower seeded team
wins the NCAA basketball tournament, you don't think of them
as a more real title, you know, a champion, you
know what I mean? Like, because I think it's because
it's Ohio State, We're like, yeah, that's a real But
if it had been like Boise, are you gonna be like, yeah,
they were definitely the best team all year?
Speaker 3: I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: Well, I just I mean, like you could see a
team like, are you saying Washington, the Washington general or
whatever the.
Speaker 3: Fuck they're called the Washington Generals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Washington Commanders are the best, the second best
team in the NFC.
Speaker 6: Probably not, Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm that's
exactly my point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but but they've won their games.
Speaker 6: And my point, my only dispute was just I don't
think it makes it a more real title, maybe even
a little less, but it's way more entertaining.
Speaker 3: I think it's saving that sport.
Speaker 6: It's gonna say, because what they're gonna lose in nil
and how that's diminished product, you know, not being able
to keep up with players every year, constant rotation. They're
getting back. I think with this, with this new system,
it's wonderful.
Speaker 1: I think it's saved college football from becoming a regional sport.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the fact that you had you know, Boise State,
Arizona State, you know, Oregon. Oregon has always been a banger,
but you know, lately it's been pretty consistent. But it
allowed it to be the entire countrary and that's why
people love it.
Speaker 6: It's like, you're here in the Northeast, Why is it not?
Why is college football not Is it just because you
can't play much up there because it's so cold all
half the year? Why is it not huge because it's
huge in the Midwest. Why is it not big in
like New York?
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, Like, why is Connecticut basketball big?
I don't know, like you would think Connecticut. The real
question is why does the New York City churn out
more great athletes?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: They used to in basketball, and they used to.
Speaker 2: Why don't they do that?
Speaker 1: When was the last time you heard of a great
quarterback coming out of you know, out of New York City.
Speaker 2: It's just it's a really weird thing.
Speaker 1: LA turns out great shit, LA turns out great athletes baseball, basketball,
But something about these big cities. They don't churn out
the biggest, the best of these football players.
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is. It's very weird to me.
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 4: I agree.
Speaker 5: It was interesting that all four of the bye week
teams not only lost, got pretty smoked.
Speaker 3: We saw that in baseball too, Like it is almost
like do you want to buy?
Speaker 4: And also think about this, it's college football.
Speaker 5: This isn't like the NFL where you get you get
a fucking thirteen days off. Some of those kids had
a month and a month, five almost six weeks off
of football. Sure you're practicing, Sure you're doing whatever. Boy,
your body is not used to taking those bangs as much. Agree,
you know, you got five six weeks off and you're
you're talking about we're talking about eight nineteen to twenty
two year olds. They're digging around on campus, they're probably
eating a little fucking.
Speaker 4: You know, not as good. And you got five fucking
weeks off while this.
Speaker 2: Other team women, a lot of white women.
Speaker 5: And these other teams were in the thick of it,
you know, focus laser being focused because hey, if we
if we win the next week, we're here. And some
of them are coming right off winning their fucking uh uh.
They didn't win their conference. They weren't even gonna.
Speaker 4: Be at the Show's.
Speaker 2: Crazy to me.
Speaker 1: So I'm happy, you know, as you know, I'm I'm
I love I like. You know, there's teams in the
SEC I like, I like Georgia. I'm not anti Georgia.
There's a couple of them. I love Texas. I'm a
huge Sarkisian fan.
Speaker 4: I like Texas. You know, why do you like Sarkisian.
Speaker 1: Because he's a fucking armo okay, a drinking problem.
Speaker 5: Because he's got a fucking oh, he's a so imagine
that he's a sober armor with a white SUV.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there we go, dude.
Speaker 5: So I like hair on his that guy doesn't have
hair on his back. If that guy doesn't have hair
on his back, I'll suck all your co head.
Speaker 1: The Texans definitely, Texas definitely like growing up. There's a
couple of those teams. I always liked that growing up.
Texas is one Florida State Miami. I think they're both
better when when I think the college football is way
better when they're good. So, you know, and there's just
like you know, Alabama obviously takes a step back, you know,
and it's just like, there's no reason why Alabama shouldn't
have one of the top quarterbacks every year, every year. No,
that kid is not Like, dude, you should have a
guy like you should be getting the Archie.
Speaker 2: Manning's good, right, who Milroy?
Speaker 1: No, he's gonna go to the pros and you're never
gonna hear from him again. He's not a professional quarterback.
Speaker 2: He's just not. He's just an uber athlete.
Speaker 3: Him like people taking him higher.
Speaker 2: I pray to the gods.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's an interesting one.
Speaker 2: I pray to the gods. The Raiders.
Speaker 1: Don't get him, Please, Lord, do not get this kid.
Do not get this kid. Did I say I sent
them to you guys in our chat? What if Titans
offered the Jags the number one pick?
Speaker 5: The Titans offer the Jaguars, Yeah, but the Jaguars don't
need a quarterback.
Speaker 4: The Jaguars can sit tight and get whoever they want.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what what what if you go, hey, man,
we're gonna get off this Lawrence money, okay, because now
we can build better and we get cam Ward who
put up huge numbers in huge numbers, and you kind
of get him on that rookie salary and now.
Speaker 2: You can get more players like you want to Trevor Lawrence.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like what the Cowboys are going through, right,
It's like, you don't want a big quarterback contract if
you're struggling, Okay, you only want that when you're killed,
when you when everything's set and Jack and like Lawrence
for some reason just isn't clicking there.
Speaker 2: Now. I would go if I was them, And who
do I know? Because I liked the Doug.
Speaker 1: Peterson pick at that time when they when they signed him,
I felt was he had super Bowl winning experience. I
wouldn't have gone after Pete Carroll. Pete Carroll seems like
the guy that would be able to get Lawrence on track.
Speaker 6: Speaking of the devil, I mean, there you go. He's
the Raiders now today breaking news. They just they signed him, right,
so congratulations.
Speaker 1: I mean, has there ever been a better four coaches
in a conference ever?
Speaker 4: It's pretty crazy.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't even think about that. Yeah, wow, that's wild.
Speaker 4: Huh?
Speaker 3: Are you you're you're happy with it?
Speaker 4: Then?
Speaker 2: Sam?
Speaker 3: The only thing that gets him, The only thing you
can say is his age. That's it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, But he's fucking four years younger than the president.
The president.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Sam, I want same with Tommy last week, he
thinks when he's seventy eight, it's just time to knock
it off.
Speaker 3: I'm done when I'm saying, that's what rapped it. Uh,
He's like, wrap it up. When I'm seven.
Speaker 1: Years we're at different you know, you know, we'll probably
be at different financial levels. Okay, Like if you have
a gazillion dollars and you can pay Filipinos and wipe
your ass, that's a whole different thing.
Speaker 6: You think Pete Carroll's gonna need his ass wipe by
Filipinos in five years.
Speaker 2: No, but that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You if you have the money that your kids don't
have to wipe your ass, then you keep going.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you're a if you're a burden, wrap
it up.
Speaker 4: I like it.
Speaker 6: I like Pete Carroll though he was a guy that
I would have been happy to have for the Panthers.
Speaker 1: I think he wins where he goes, and it seems
to be what you know when you think that he's
not you know, when you know he goes to USC,
he's like their seventh choice and he turns it into
a dynasty. Maybe that they're like and maybe that the
raves On first he puts it together and I, yeah,
I think he's great, dude.
Speaker 2: I'm excited about it.
Speaker 1: You know, obviously the Quardeck situation in in uh Settle
probably got him in trouble and sometimes you gotta move
off people. And just it's like very weird to me
that they, you know, people like Green Bay, like they
just fall in the quarterback at one after a number.
They're gonna go on probably thirty years of high end
quarterback play. That is so hard. That is so hard.
So I don't know who we're gonna get. They're talking Russell.
I mean they're even talking about the kid at the
kid the guy what's his name at for the Seahawks
right now, that that kind of he saved after he
was flamed out with the Jets.
Speaker 2: What's his name? Who's the quarterback for?
Speaker 4: Oh Oh?
Speaker 3: I can always get him confused with EJ.
Speaker 4: Manuel?
Speaker 3: What you know, what's the quarterback for the Seahawks? Jason?
Gino Smith?
Speaker 4: Sorry Geno Smith? So you get black Smith exactly?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well they had they also that.
Speaker 4: Was Michael Vick, Johnny, it was Michael Vick.
Speaker 3: No, I'm just racist. I guess that's it.
Speaker 2: You should come to the show, come the second show,
do something, be a man.
Speaker 4: Up there tomorrow, something something.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna pop up to Saturday show and I'm bro
I'm bringing the thunder.
Speaker 4: How much time you want me to do? Watch that? Well?
Speaker 2: How long do you want to do? Let me just
figure it out?
Speaker 5: Give me like, well, like I'll get if I tighten
it up, because I got a bunch of new ship.
If I tighten it up, light me at an hour, Okay, perfect,
I can.
Speaker 2: We'll figure it out.
Speaker 4: We'll figure out.
Speaker 2: I just got to talk to everybody.
Speaker 4: Then I can go into my thirty minute closer.
Speaker 6: It's funny that the Raiders they talk to like the
two both guys would have been the oldest head coaches.
Like they try to get Belichick at first, and then
they talked to Pete Carroll both the Carol's gonna.
Speaker 3: Be the oldest NFL coach ever ever? Crazy?
Speaker 4: Is that right?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Well someone's got to do it.
Speaker 2: I think it's fine limping off of a.
Speaker 4: Plane like Biden. I mean, he's fucking running up and
down the field. He looks good.
Speaker 1: You just gotta get a quarterback. That's you just gotta
get a competent quarterback. But then the question goes, if
you get a decent quarterback, is that gonna fuck you
up to get a great quarterback.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 6: We'll see, you'll never get to The number two is
by the way, he was seventy three. I can't even
give you the team, and I don't think he'll get it.
He was he was a coach of the Texans. It
was less than five years ago. It was brief, and
he was seventy three.
Speaker 2: Oh it's uh, he was the coach. He's the guy
that might be on it. Okay, black guy, black guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys Romeo Cornell. Yeah, I would have never
guessed that.
Speaker 4: Wow, he's that too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a weird, fat one dude.
Speaker 1: He's part of that coaching tree of the of the
Patriots that didn't go anywhere, not that any of.
Speaker 2: Them have gotten any one of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean Ray Brawl seems to be the one.
But he was more of a player than a coach.
Speaker 3: They brought back me Daniel right then. They it's so crazy.
Speaker 1: Just like Boston's just like, okay, we can accept your's.
Speaker 5: Like, but that's basically like your fucking father dies and
then our moves and retires, and then you and your
brother buy back your old family house and fucking fix
it up.
Speaker 4: And flip it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, it's so weird.
Speaker 5: Man, it is kind of weird. But I mean, you know,
they're familiar with each other and all that sort of shit.
Thoughts on we can get out of the NFL here
real quick, but thoughts on the AFC NFC Championship game.
Speaker 4: Thoughts on the Super Bowl coming up.
Speaker 5: We got Bills, and we got Chiefs once again, and
we got the surprise of the year the Washington Commanders.
Speaker 1: Still so if somehow the Commanders pulled this off, is
this the great I mean, people forgot Dann Marino's run.
Speaker 2: Didn't he go to super Bowl this rookie year?
Speaker 4: Maybe let me see it might be true? Could be true. No, No,
he did not. No, no, No rookies made it taking
a team to the super Bowl.
Speaker 3: Well, Dan Marino went to a super Bowl early in
his career. He made it to Super Bowl whatever the
hell number that is, age twenty three in his second season.
Speaker 1: Okay, when did Big Big Ben go? Because Big Ben
went early too.
Speaker 4: He went his second here I think as well.
Speaker 3: She was so good young. He came out with that
first super Bowl in his second season.
Speaker 1: Also, all right, all right, so he's in that discussion, dude,
but big Ben was Josh Allen less mobile, Josh Allen.
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, I'm good. Good analogy. Good analogy, kind of
like how Tony Philip Philip Rivers too, But I would
say he was a Philip Rivers type.
Speaker 1: You have a Philip Rivers wasn't a running quarterback, you know,
like they would run place for Big Ben and then
he would just get hammered because big Big Ben was
playing in that age of the big linebackers.
Speaker 4: He was so huge, right, he was just a big
fucking dude.
Speaker 1: And then he was just hurt constantly, dude, constant, Not
early though, right, that was later once he started getting old.
Speaker 4: Real asshole, What do I know?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I worry about that. Stop running that motherfucker.
But that's part of his thing.
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 1: Listen, all you need to do is win one Super
Bowl with Allen and whatever happens after that is fine.
Speaker 2: He'll be a legend in Buffalo.
Speaker 6: And you think he could survives Cam Newton, Right, you
don't like Newton He's not like Cam Newton right where
you have to run him Like, he could be good
in the pocket, don't you think?
Speaker 2: No, he throws the ball great, that's.
Speaker 6: But you think he could have a full career as
a like a successful quarterback not running, do you think?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if he would be as effective,
but I think he would be good.
Speaker 2: I mean him running, the throat of him running makes
him great, right right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Him probably.
Speaker 4: I mean, but I mean, you could take away anybody's anything,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: That's a great stuf. That's part of you. What I'm saying,
You're like take away Tiger Woods putting.
Speaker 4: Is he still good? I mean yeah, but it's part
of him that he does. Guy Putt's good take away.
Speaker 1: But but but it's a little different because you have
to put you have to putt. What I'm saying is like,
there's guys who, just like Tom Brady, was never running quarterback.
Now if you added running, you had like, let's say,
let's say twenty five pounds of pure muscle to Tom Brady.
He's got a Josh Allen type build. He can pass
like you can, but now he can run and truck.
Speaker 2: A couple of dudes. That's even crazier.
Speaker 6: Tom Brady, all right, he's the best player. I mean
he's already the best player ever. So I don't even
know what to say about that.
Speaker 4: Yeah right, Like if you've made him his fast as
Michael Vick.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and what if he was seven feet.
Speaker 5: Tall to him and gave him the Great Wall of
China as an offensive line.
Speaker 2: So so here's the thing I hear.
Speaker 1: This is my my annual rant about how I hate
sports talk radio even though I can't stop listening to it.
And these guys like Colin Coward is the worst, and
he's got the he is the king of what I've
seen some comedians do, which is this view of hate.
Views are still good views if you're viewing, it doesn't matter, right.
I heard like Brandon shab who I love with all
my heart, was talking about how he, like Bringle Poppy,
has like five million views. I can't even sniff that,
you know, I can't. I couldn't sniff that. I would
I do there? I could never get You know, why
is everybody getting quiet the five million?
Speaker 2: I don't know, It's never gonna happen so five But
I think Brendon shop was talking about how Gringo Poppy
has Brendon shop.
Speaker 3: No Gringo Pop what does that mean?
Speaker 2: That's his special?
Speaker 3: Oh oh is that a special? Exactly missed that.
Speaker 2: No, dude, huge chop fan, love him the pieces right.
Speaker 1: He easily talked about how he didn't think it was
the greatest special of all time.
Speaker 2: We love him, I love him. That's not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I love a shop. And he would mark
all three. We could go three on one. He would
mark all three of us. And let's set up black
belt on in taekwondoll.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's set it up.
Speaker 5: Because Sammy, Sammy, we you that you're fucking your training.
It wouldn't take me that long to get right back
into my fucking classic shape and then but don't make
me laugh, but we got the best fucking asset of
the group. We got the fucking punching bag Johnny go, dude, i'my.
Speaker 2: Would have to sacrifice.
Speaker 5: No, no, we throw Johnny in there first. And Johnny,
you're getting your fucking shots and you're I mean, we
know you're a tough and you but he he tires
himself out on you.
Speaker 4: I got it, and we'll dude, we're gonna come in
and help you out, but we're gonna get you real
close to death. I know.
Speaker 6: You write me, You write me a bunch of insult
lines to deliver to him, you know before, and.
Speaker 3: Then we'll just be in there. He'll just be trying
to destroy me, you know, when I'm almost dead, then
you guys come in and then it's over.
Speaker 5: We're not gonna let him kill you, dude, But that's
when we come in like a fucking pack of jackals.
Speaker 4: We're all over.
Speaker 5: I'm biting him in his fucking balls, and he's fucking
brushing his teeth, my teeth with his fucking rock hard,
gorgeous cock.
Speaker 4: Sam's brushing his hair. We're gonna put this guy to sleep.
Speaker 1: I love this scenario. I think this should be the player.
Speaker 5: Well and dude, all I promise is we're gonna put
him to sleep. We might not choke him out, but he's.
Speaker 4: Gonna be.
Speaker 5: With your hair brush and you fucking and you got
almost got to kill again, almost kill a guy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're massage in his arms after.
Speaker 2: So it's gonna be like this comb comb punch.
Speaker 5: Sleep and and I'm just to help him, like give
him like a you know, because he's probably gonna need
a manicure.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm going the other way.
Speaker 5: I've already sucked him side was like a harmonica. The
guy's ready for a nap. But then while he's asleep,
I'm gonna give him a sweet manicure and pull Johnny's
men put's teeth out of his knuckles.
Speaker 6: You know, so he doesn't You don't have to do that.
You should give him those jig mittens. Let him try
the gig mittens out while he's while he's pounting us.
Speaker 4: That would dude.
Speaker 1: We need to get jiz mintens out there. Dude, we're
sitting on gold. Everybody watch, get a big cooin, get
the jiz man.
Speaker 5: Can we get can we get some Minten coins?
Speaker 2: N coins? Okay?
Speaker 4: I would trade, that would trade.
Speaker 6: Let me see if I can get Chatty to create
a logo for that.
Speaker 4: That's what Let me.
Speaker 2: While you're doing that, Johnny, please finish once again once.
Speaker 1: Again, Colm Coward and I hate to say this because
I love them so much, Damn Patrick, are gas lighting
their viewers. Okay, are gas lighting their their viewers into
saying that the refs aren't showing the chiefs any kind
of like preferential treatment. And again this is just trying
to get you not to believe your eyes or your
ears or the wisdom of your experiences.
Speaker 2: We see it all the time. Everybody sees it. Now
we've seen where.
Speaker 1: Okay, so con Howard reads the rule of pass interference
or roughing the passer, and within the rules it says,
if you think it might have happened, call it.
Speaker 2: If you even think it might have happened, call it.
So they call it all the time, Patrick Mahomes, We
see it on other quarterbacks.
Speaker 1: They don't call it that hit, that hitlet the helmet
hit on God.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like, what are we doing here?
Speaker 1: It's just absolutely ridiculous. And it's like I and you
guys might now agree with me on this. You know,
I'm sorry, but if you keep doing this, you're.
Speaker 2: Going to run people off. And when you get into
the motion get Oh dude, look.
Speaker 1: At that bro by the way, Johnny, it is the
bottom one because that is our mascot. Okay, this mints, Johnny.
That is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life.
And we need to we need to contact someone in
a third world country and start getting these madey.
Speaker 4: Did you just ai those.
Speaker 5: Yes, Wow, that's incredible that it just did you know,
like Doune like the top one for our gate gay.
Speaker 1: Guys, which oh yeah, the top top one, top left, Yeah, no, dude,
bottom left.
Speaker 2: Flick at that.
Speaker 1: It's I got almost all the colors of the of
the the gay rainbow.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: But the top one you can do a lot of
things with that fucking thumb part.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And you know Jismund's the red one. That's good for
our for India. I try to go to India. They
that that looks perfect for India.
Speaker 4: Look at that.
Speaker 2: Yeahs would love that.
Speaker 4: The top one looks like it could be a catch
up company. I love that.
Speaker 6: This one's got a little pocket too, in case you
want to you know, store someone. I don't know, some lube,
got some move in there.
Speaker 5: Maybe, oh yeah, but even just old suicide notes, that's
a good pocket for that.
Speaker 4: Johnny.
Speaker 3: Maybe new ones.
Speaker 4: I like the one with Jizzy the turtle ar Man Scot.
Speaker 2: What the problem is that?
Speaker 3: Who's the hand is that for? Exactly?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean like Johnny, you have to flip it
because most of us are right handed.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, Johnny, but you're jerking off your
right hand. You want to catch it with your left.
Speaker 4: Interesting, I like to catch mine. And a butterfly net.
Speaker 3: That's great, welling.
Speaker 4: To mitten is that one? You guys? We got a poet.
Speaker 5: You got a screenshot that and post it on the
thing and go hey, which jiz mitton is perfect for you?
Speaker 2: New product that we're gonna push.
Speaker 4: You also need some youth size Are you in or
are you in?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yes, we're not doing youth sizes Jason.
Speaker 4: Youth size sizes.
Speaker 1: Dude, you are got in trouble laughing Alri's joke, you
piece of ship.
Speaker 4: That is true.
Speaker 5: Oh, by the way, can we give a quick shout
out to our good friend. By the way, hit me
up about doing a gig.
Speaker 4: That was so sweet.
Speaker 5: America's sweetheart. Netflix check out our his new special. It
is absolutely wonderful. I thought it was great. I loved that.
Speaker 2: It out. I didn't even know that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I came out this Tuesday, our last Tuesday. Excellent.
I've already watched it twice and watch the credits.
Speaker 5: Met at the pose it because they kind of come fast.
The credits are excellent. He gets shout shout outs to
everybody but us, and I think it's some of this
flintests work really made me laugh, very proud of the
beautiful set. Cool for him to go back to his
home uh area where he grew up and shoot that.
Speaker 4: So check out America's Sweetheart on Netflix.
Speaker 3: Did not have his face shaved for that.
Speaker 4: He looked normal. He looked normal.
Speaker 6: Are you guys annoyed that that has uh ganked the
pew beard as punishment?
Speaker 3: Does that bother you guys?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't think we invented it. I don't.
Somebody tweeted it.
Speaker 1: We one invented pew Beard. How old this show is.
It's an old show.
Speaker 4: Maybe we might have maybe, I just don't many people
have done it.
Speaker 2: I give it to them.
Speaker 4: I get a lot of people have done it since
it's not.
Speaker 1: Just trailblazers, and like most trailblazers were shot and killed
and everybody else gets the glory.
Speaker 2: It's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 4: I couldn't agree more. I couldn't gets the glory.
Speaker 2: And then we're just dead carcass on the side of
the road.
Speaker 1: That's all the number one sports comedy show that nobody
listens to.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I mean there's so many things that we
started that other people are.
Speaker 2: It would crush can you.
Speaker 6: There's so much that we couldn't have talked about on YouTube.
Though to do it, we just go.
Speaker 2: On Twitter and just go off.
Speaker 5: Hey, what do you guys think about the fucking uh
Elon Mosk doing the Hitler thing or not doing the
Hitler thing or whatever the ass?
Speaker 4: He that is a weird.
Speaker 2: Guy, bag bag.
Speaker 4: I approve.
Speaker 3: This Baron Trump doing. Now that's a that's a good
old Hitler.
Speaker 1: I love that, you know, like pro wrestling it up,
dou Baron Trump. You know he's in the weird ship.
Speaker 3: He is, Isn't he weird? Did you see any like
Inspector Gadget with that long trench coat on.
Speaker 5: Very dude, he doesn't even need fucking committings. He needs
some fucking He needs a cummy, dummy, He needs a cummy.
He needs a cummy mummy to break through his wall
like a fucking kool aid guy.
Speaker 2: I mean, dude, chicks can blow him. They don't even
have to get on their knees.
Speaker 4: They just.
Speaker 6: I think he's going to like n YU or something.
And they went around and interviewed a bunch of girls
on campus, and you would think all these you know,
ultraliberal campus. The girls will be like Trump and they're like,
no way, Oh he's rich. Yeah yeah, they all just
a million Peru.
Speaker 2: Bro, listen to me.
Speaker 1: You can be trailer park ass and you look hot
in jeans Baron. Trump's gonna dump. Okay, that's just how
it's gonna go. He's gonna dump, and now you got
a meal ticket for the rest.
Speaker 2: Of your life.
Speaker 4: I bang him. I'd let him knock me up, dude.
Speaker 1: I know, bro, just when you're would be grave, when
you just get done with shop, you run over and
just start sawing.
Speaker 4: Oh. I'm trying to let him get I want him
to fucking take me from the back. I want him
to make me.
Speaker 2: Tellt ud do you want to get pregnant?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm trying to get on the gravy train. I'm
not just gonna blow everybody.
Speaker 1: I think science has gotten the point where you can
get pregnant.
Speaker 4: Dude. Hey, there's only one way to find out. There's
only one fucking way to find out. So here go.
Speaker 5: Let's me make some Super Bowl predictions. If you're gonna bet,
I like the over of both of these games come
down the pipes. Both of all these teams are very
capable of just trading scores left and right. I like
the over on both games. I'm going Super Bowl Bill's Redskins.
Speaker 6: Redskins commanders say, the Redskins, the commanders a stupid.
Speaker 4: Bill's Redskins does feel better not.
Speaker 3: Be Redskins will never come back.
Speaker 1: I think it's coming back your dream, the Washington he
can make dream the Native Americans wanted back. Johnny, Yeah,
I know.
Speaker 3: Do I think it's shook them back? Absolutely? Will it?
It will never come back.
Speaker 4: Bill's Redskins.
Speaker 5: Redskins win the Super Bowl twenty four to twenty three,
last last minute driver or what was there?
Speaker 4: What was that?
Speaker 3: Gorgan?
Speaker 5: Twenty four to twenty three, and it's and it's twenty
three seventeen with three minutes left in the game. Jadan
Daniels has the ball, two timeouts, they score a touchdown
with about forty seven seconds, lapt get the extra point.
Twenty four twenty three, The Washington Redskins command a lead,
and then.
Speaker 4: The Super Bowl.
Speaker 3: There I said, did you just say they command a lead?
Speaker 4: Is yeah? Or both tend to make everybody.
Speaker 1: That But that's okay, Johnny, what's your thought? Well, we
assume We're never doing a pun trunk before the super Bowl?
Speaker 2: Is that because we only do.
Speaker 4: This maybe in super Bowls and twos? Is that first
one of the year.
Speaker 2: Minimum of three weeks.
Speaker 3: It's the ninth, they take the ninth of February.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, they take next week off and then the
super Bowl Super Bowls in two weeks from two weeks
from Sunday.
Speaker 2: Yep, you're right, I'm right.
Speaker 6: I got Philly, I mean boring compared to that. I
got Philly and the Chiefs. I think the Chiefs win
like twenty seven.
Speaker 4: Oh god, anything but the Chiefs, I know. I don't
want it. If Taylor Swift at the super Bowl.
Speaker 5: If Taylor Swift is at the super Bowl, and by
the way, can you imagine this scenario this talk about
killing footba Taylor Swift is at the super Bowl.
Speaker 4: Who's doing the halftime shows the Super Bowl?
Speaker 3: I don't know who is it?
Speaker 4: It's fucking what's his face? The fucking La Rapper. I
get Tom Kendrick Lamar, Kendrick Lamar. Guess who has a
song with Taylor Swift. Kendrick Lamar.
Speaker 5: She just happens to be at the super Bowl because
their fucking dummy boyfriend is fucking catching.
Speaker 6: Did you see her with Caitlyn Clark. I mean, it's
it's so obvious what they do with Taylor Swift. They
just put anybody up there that they want.
Speaker 4: She moves the dial. But guess what.
Speaker 5: I like the super Bowl because it gets me away
from this and now she's intruded into the NFL. So
let's go whatever we can do. Let's go no Chiefs
so I don't have to have everybody to super Bowl
party going, oh my god. They just showed the eating
poparn and.
Speaker 3: I don't want that to win. I pray to god
they don't win.
Speaker 5: But I just heard your prediction and I'm rooting against it.
And if well, we'll.
Speaker 4: Talk to the shop about what he's gonna do to
your face.
Speaker 1: Sammy, you're pretty I am going Bills versus Eagles, and
then I'm gonna go Bills.
Speaker 4: All right, and you would love that.
Speaker 5: I would describe you as not a Bills fan, but
a Bill supporter.
Speaker 2: Bills number two team, number two team. I'm gonna power
rank my.
Speaker 4: Teams, okay, NFL teams.
Speaker 1: Yeah, number one teams, the Las Vegas Raiders, sir A
number two, the Buffalo Bills.
Speaker 4: There you go. Do you have a number three?
Speaker 2: Number three? The Jacksonville Jaguar.
Speaker 5: Why the Jaguars. I would thought you would have gone
Rams or Chargers for your.
Speaker 2: Jags and Rams are tied.
Speaker 4: Okay, I have five teams.
Speaker 2: I have five teams.
Speaker 1: Chargers don't fall into there, No, I.
Speaker 4: Guess because the Raiders they wouldn't. Who's your fifth NFL team?
Speaker 2: Detroit Lions.
Speaker 5: Okay, how long has that been just because you like
that coach and you liked in the last few years.
Speaker 1: Have you always had because that's where my family went
after they escaped the Armenian jedocide.
Speaker 4: Holding a lot of those a lot of those guys
up there, I'm telling that.
Speaker 5: So that's why it's very a lot of places that
I gold jewelry.
Speaker 4: I'll say that. I'll say that's.
Speaker 2: Very, very, very AFC heavy.
Speaker 1: Outside of the Rams and the and the and the Detroit.
Speaker 3: You had the Bears.
Speaker 5: I assume I go Falcons obviously number one, that's my
number one team of all sports, but Falcons. I do
have a Bears. You know, as long as they're not
playing the Falcons, I'll be rooting for the Bears. And
I would say both teams in Los Angeles, I softly
would root for you know, if one of them was
in the Super Bowl, I'd be like, oh.
Speaker 4: I'm happy for my LA. Did that take a But
you know, I would never like you.
Speaker 2: Know, the race.
Speaker 4: I like Harball, I like Carball. I like Harball.
Speaker 5: Come into the Chargers and kind of flipping that team around,
and I like the Chargers for the same reason I
originally like the Clippers because that's a that's a Rams town.
Speaker 4: Did that take playing in the Rams Stadium?
Speaker 6: Because I've been out here eight years now, I've been
in a eight years. Did that take a while for you?
Because I still don't give a flying funk about any
of the l A teams.
Speaker 4: And I don't took me more than a decade.
Speaker 6: Okay, maybe maybe I don't have I don't have a
team B in any league.
Speaker 3: I don't know any anything.
Speaker 5: You don't have a team that because your buddies or
anything like that, they follow your mind.
Speaker 3: My friends make me hate them more.
Speaker 4: Well, then that's not a friend, Johnny, Like you and the.
Speaker 3: Falcons, you're talking about the fact I don't that doesn't
make me want them to win. I fuck they.
Speaker 5: I don't ever talk ship Okay, too much. If you
guys were the game of the game, I oh, no.
Speaker 4: You're young.
Speaker 1: But I want the Raiders to win a super Bowl.
I want the Bills the next win the Super Bowl.
Speaker 2: A fight.
Speaker 4: That's a different thing, you know.
Speaker 5: Because I would want the Lions to win a super
Bowl because they've never won mine.
Speaker 4: That's a great town. There's a lot of my meanings.
Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: If I choose between the Raiders and the and the
Bills winning a super Bowl, and the Bill had won
a super Bowl for my family, I would love for
them to win a super Bowl.
Speaker 2: But if the Bills win a super Bowl, then Raiders
all time. That's all all time?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that is yeah, I could never Okay, if the
Falcons are out of the playoffs, what other NFL team
would I want to do in the Super Bowl?
Speaker 4: I would probably say the Bears.
Speaker 6: I would want now that Drake May is a New England,
I would want them to win maybe.
Speaker 5: But then, yeah, you kind of fall for players like
if there's someone, I mean, the Lions would be high
on that list, just because I like the Lions organization currently.
Speaker 1: Oh the Blake Griffin went to the Detroit Pistons. I
saw I was like, I would want them to do well.
Speaker 3: Drake May looks good, by the way, doesn't he looks good.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 1: I like him, you know, he just needs the right guy.
It looks like they got it. Man, We'll see, dude,
we'll see, we'll see. I'm excited for I mean, I
just want us to get a decent fucking a decent time.
Speaker 6: The Dodgers, by the way, you're gonna get two to
the Dodger's got another guy last week that the Japanese picture.
Speaker 4: It's it's believable.
Speaker 6: So it's ridiculous. They're spending more and Sam is celebrating it.
Last year they signed Freddie Freeman.
Speaker 3: He came in and he was like, man, I just
don't know if I'm gonna watch. I'm just gonning over it, dude.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna ride about how they were like never,
this guy, my team always sucks. I've never been on
the team that is just like dominant.
Speaker 4: That's true. Never has always always rooted for losers. And
I'm not saying that you and I have that.
Speaker 5: I mean the Falcons, the Cubs, the Clippers for me,
so you.
Speaker 2: Were the Raiders. No, dude, it was like if you
can't beat them, join them, let's go.
Speaker 1: So now I can watch baseball like May, when I
normally wouldn't watch it till August.
Speaker 5: Know what happens is you only watch baseball in May
like all the Dodgers fans never.
Speaker 1: I'm like, August, how are we? But now it's gonna
be musty baseball. You're just gonna be one. I mean,
these days aren't gonna last forever. And it's like this
is a you.
Speaker 3: Eventually they gotta pay some of these fucking guys. You're right, Eventually,
eventually somebody's gonna make some money on that team. It's ridiculous.
I know.
Speaker 1: I will say this, Johnny, I I think baseball should
get rid of that rule.
Speaker 3: They don't, John, Why are the Dodgters the only team
doing it? By the way, I don't understand because you.
Speaker 2: Guys have shitty billionaires.
Speaker 3: Our team is owned by corporation.
Speaker 2: So yeah, your corporation is what the dollar store?
Speaker 3: Liberty media? No, I mean what the brains are like
fourth and payroll.
Speaker 6: Uh, it's liberty media.
Speaker 3: Liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty, mutual, liberty.
Speaker 2: Final things. Basketball qwhis back.
Speaker 3: Great to see that he's killing my fantasy team.
Speaker 2: I I can't.
Speaker 4: By the way, I'm killing it in fantasy basketball.
Speaker 1: The best I've ever done about Jason Tebow's team.
Speaker 4: It's awesome.
Speaker 1: I don't know how he loses. I don't I don't
know how we got. I think you and I split it.
I don't know what happened or I barely beat you.
Speaker 3: I know I beat you like three weeks.
Speaker 5: So I had a few injury A couple of my
main guys were like down for like three four weeks,
which is hurting me.
Speaker 3: Sam this year right here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was just bad scheduling for me.
Speaker 4: I mean I got the guys. I just got to
get an.
Speaker 1: All Star team. I don't know how. I don't know
how you got that team.
Speaker 4: That team is drafted, that team draft.
Speaker 2: I know, it's just get.
Speaker 3: That we talk about Jimmy Butler. By the way, what
the is going on down there with you?
Speaker 1: This is my favorite part about this is like it
just shows you how ridiculous the players are now okay,
and that anyone is defending Jimmy want it just it
gets into it. It becomes politics where it's like we're
not even going to We're not even going to actually
look at what's going on. We're just going to defend
the players because we're players.
Speaker 2: And it's like, this.
Speaker 1: Guy's getting paid so much, fucking and and give him
more money. He's like pouting, and like, dude, this is
a guy that didn't play an All Star Game because
he was hung over. This is guy who has Kaiser
so sayed every team he's ever played on, every teams,
every dam burns a village, shoots the family every time,
and you guys just have these guys. It's like, dude,
you signed a contract. You signed a contract. The NFL
has created of Frankenstein, and they better get it together
and figure.
Speaker 2: Out how you.
Speaker 1: Ought NBA, because you know, yeah they got They signed
a ten year deal. Okay, I wouldn't doubt if in
another ten years, which is let's hope takes forever, because
that means I'll be in my sixties and I'm not
excited about that. I'm definitely on the back half of
the back half.
Speaker 2: At that point.
Speaker 1: Okay, that that more money is just gonna keep coming in.
More money's just gonna keep coming into this this league,
and you're just gonna start seeing players getting a million
dollars one hundred million dollars.
Speaker 2: A year, and I'm for it. I'm for getting paid. Dude.
Speaker 1: You are playing in arenas and you're packing these arenas out.
Speaker 2: Okay, but i mean take a look.
Speaker 1: At like nay Pergotziot Napergatzi made one hundred million dollars.
Speaker 6: My mom knows who he is, dude, Dude, My mom
does nothing of comedy and she's like, who's that guy
with the big eyes and the weird name.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't curse. I like him.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm never gonna play anywhere because I just
can't stop saying fuck and I just like pressing people.
I'm just going to play one hundred people for the
rest of my life.
Speaker 6: Yeah, the NBA, wait until the Saudi's come along, dude
and decide they want a big NBA league, because I've
heard rumored that they're thinking about it. Like these guys,
you tell me, these guys, these money hungry fucks who
don't give a shit about this country. They know over
there so fast, dude, playing basketball, get ready.
Speaker 1: My favorite part is that the Lebron James is trying
to start his own league now and Rich Paul, Yeah,
look it up five or I don't know what they're
gonna do. But what makes me laugh. What makes me
laugh is that anyone thinks Lebron James can.
Speaker 2: Put anything together.
Speaker 3: That's a good point.
Speaker 1: I mean, when Lebron James was putting his team together
and like my aunt, when he was putting the team
together like Miami, he and pat Riley doing that right.
Speaker 6: Sham says that Lebron James is one hundred percent not
involved in the new basketball league.
Speaker 3: That I guess that was.
Speaker 2: Well, it's rich, Paul, It's rich Paul.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 6: Sham Serenia address recent speculation regarding Lebron james potential involvement
in an international basketball league.
Speaker 3: It was okay, it says Maverick Carter. That's that's who
it is.
Speaker 6: Lebron's longtime business partner is advising the group behind the league.
So you're telling me, Maverick Carter's involved and Lebron ain't.
I don't believe that they.
Speaker 2: Think we're dumb.
Speaker 3: This is what Sham said.
Speaker 6: I hate to say it, I hate to break it
on the show, but Lebron James is one hundred percent
not involved in this endeavor. Maverick Carter is an advisor
for the group that's putting it together. They're trying to
get five billion dollars for a league that internationally is
supposed to rival the NBA. Dude, I'm surprised that Saudi's
haven't beaten him to this.
Speaker 3: Did you see that? Did you see the of a
take what?
Speaker 6: I'm curious what you guys think about this about how
Lebron ruined the Slam Dunk contest by not doing it.
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 6: And now it's just I mean, they were talking about
how stephen A has this idea that it should be
replaced with a tour where they just get the best
dunkers in cities, you know, and have an like an
and one kind of contest and then bring them to
the All Star Game.
Speaker 1: I'm not against that. Final here's what you have to do.
You have to get rid of the old heads. And
I hate saying that as an old head, because these
old heads are trying to act like Michael Jordan taking
off from the foul line is the greatest dunk they've
ever seen in their life.
Speaker 4: Everybody's done it. They do it every year.
Speaker 2: And there's a guy, there's a guy who just did it.
Speaker 1: Dude, when he went under his knit leg I saw
it and jumped it from the life.
Speaker 4: I mean, dude, yeah, this is.
Speaker 2: What I mean. We love Jordan.
Speaker 4: Jordan was great, absolutely the best.
Speaker 2: You gotta get, dude. It's like, it's like, right now.
Speaker 5: Jordan does not win a dunk contest in this era
with those dunks.
Speaker 4: I just watched this.
Speaker 5: I was it was text with Sammy and I was like,
we're like, dude, right now. On NBA TV, it was
like late at night. They had every dunk contest condensed
into a half hour program, like all night long, so
it was like eleven twelve dunk contests in a row,
every fucking half hour. So I literally watched every single
dunk contest in the history of the dunk contest, starting
with Doctor Jay. When in the ABA one what they're
like and it looks like that. You watch those old
ABA dunk contests, some seven footer dunks two basketballs, You're like,
who gives a shit? I just saw a YouTuber dunk
four basketballs and he was five foot seven.
Speaker 4: Dan's Jordan's dunk contest. Dude.
Speaker 5: Now I tell you who's did hold up and who
would still win the dunk contest if you take him
back to now was Vince Carter's.
Speaker 2: Dunk gonna get We're gonna play a game called.
Speaker 4: It was Vince Carter. Those dunk was ten years ago.
They're still crazy.
Speaker 6: You know, Will Chamberlain was able to dunk free throws
and they had to change the rule because he was
able to dunk free throws. Bro, they used to be, yeah,
it used to be there wasn't anything that said you
can't do that. And then Will Chamberlain could like dunk
free throws, so they were like, no, you can't do
that anymore.
Speaker 3: Is it crazy?
Speaker 2: I find that hard to believe, but no, it's true.
Speaker 3: I mean I'm looking at it right now.
Speaker 2: You have a video of him dunking from the fall.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if there's video. It says in
nineteen sixty the NBA was forced to ban free throw
dunking after Will and his coach discussed potentially using it
for key games. It was he was running, by the way,
he wasn't jumping flat footed.
Speaker 2: Okay, I thought you were. He was like boob. I
was like, no, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Like, you know, obviously Doctor J's great dominique, but there's
when you've seen everything solid, it's hard hard to get
excited about it, Like it's what I'm going through in
comedy right now. Like this young group of comics are
coming up and they're doing jokes I've heard a thousand times,
and I have to go it's new to them, it's
what's exciting to them.
Speaker 2: I have to let it go.
Speaker 3: Right here's talking about it.
Speaker 8: Will Chamberlain once said that he could dunk his free throws,
but did anyone see it happen? In nineteen fifty five,
people witnessed him do it at a Kansas scrimmage, including
Kansas state coach Text Winner, who said he started from
just behind the top of the circle, ran to the
free throw line.
Speaker 9: And dunked his foul shot. As an opposing coach, text
was so intimidated that he went to the nineteen fifty
six NC double A convention and explained what he'd seen,
pushing for a rule change. The NC double A listened
and ban foul shot dunks to ensure Wilt would never
do it in a game.
Speaker 4: Crazy. You know what he said at that convention. You
know what he said at that.
Speaker 2: Okay, get ready to beat them? Word.
Speaker 4: No, I was gonna say, I can have a beat there.
Speaker 5: I'm not going to say it, but he went to
that convention and he goes, you won't believe what I
just saw a black guy playing basketball.
Speaker 4: They're coming, They're coming.
Speaker 1: Hey, So yeah, you gotta get rid of the old
heads because you gotta go.
Speaker 2: Guys. Listen, you can't. You've seen all these you have to.
Speaker 5: Can we please get rid of to your point, it's over,
it's name.
Speaker 4: You gotta just bring in Baby Smith. Shut the funk.
Speaker 2: Up bringing new guys. Dude, you gotta bringing new guys.
Speaker 5: You got new Let's get Naporgatzi to host it since
he doesn't get any work right now.
Speaker 6: You need somebody who knows basketball though. That's no I
was I'm not talking about Nate. I mean, I'm talking
about you. I mean, if you want, you gotta get
somebody who is like credible, you know, dude, because if
you if you know what really happens, Sam, if you
did what you're wanting you're wanting to do, you know
what would happen right, It would be it would be
the the NBA Draft Crew, basically, you know, the three ladies.
Speaker 3: That's what they're gonna do.
Speaker 1: If they should go, they should go, Sam to women,
No women ever you know that's what they would do, though,
you know, women.
Speaker 6: Should you have to have been able to dunk at
some point in your life.
Speaker 1: No, but album with that, dude, you got to be
a past winner, past winner.
Speaker 4: You have to have won the dunk contest to judge it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but even then they got.
Speaker 4: Dominique Jordan and fucking slud Web or something.
Speaker 2: Then it's just like I I could do that. Yeah, yeah,
a lot of those guys.
Speaker 1: Listen you out there, you could find the right like
YouTubers or something like that that will bring a ton
of views to the thing to Washington.
Speaker 4: Judge, No, I'll tell you what.
Speaker 5: I'll solve it right now. I'll solve it right now,
and you make it politically correct. We go out, we
do a search and we find for fucking autistic teenage
kids that just are crazy about basketball, and they will
be the.
Speaker 4: Most honest judges special just autism. They will be the
most honest judges we've ever had.
Speaker 3: No, bro already saw that. No, that's a five. I
saw that in nineteen seventy three. I saw it.
Speaker 5: And they'll know everything, they'll know, they'll be absolutely perfect,
and it will solve all the PC problems. How are
you guys doing with the whole fire? Does everything okay
down there with the fires? I'm glad you guys are right.
I know Sam kind of got close to you in
high school.
Speaker 3: Burned down, Bro.
Speaker 2: Danielle's high school.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, she was going back to high school.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, she's still in high schooling.
Speaker 4: She was so close to getting her ged.
Speaker 5: She I would say she could go clean houses, but
they'll burn down. All the people with enough money to.
Speaker 4: Pay someone to clean them lost their houses.
Speaker 3: Did you see they have mud slides now because it's
about the rain, and that's the whole city sliding off
the They just hate everybody.
Speaker 2: They just hate everybody.
Speaker 5: Well, if you ask, if you ask anybody in religious
it's because of all the ass fucking that goes on.
Speaker 6: And how much that's on my Facebook right now.
Speaker 3: All my people back home are just like, that's what
you get.
Speaker 2: IM gonna be honest with you, Jason. I've said this once.
I'll say a thousand times.
Speaker 1: It's worth I did not like the all female Jedi
TV show and you're paying a price right now.
Speaker 4: It could be which could be studio related. It could
be studio related. What about this concert that's coming up
on the thirtieth.
Speaker 3: That seems no, I know, I don't think I'm gonna
be here. And also the tickets are like a thout.
Speaker 6: The cheapest three thousands or the cheapest tickets that I
saw the other day there were like eight hundred and
fifty dollars and the nosebleeds at the Forum. There it's
it's two it's two venues at the same time. It's
at the Intwit Dome or whatever the fuck they call it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then the Forum. And then what they're like
trading off is that what you said?
Speaker 5: Yeah, what I think is they're gonna be like while
one band is playing, Let's say you're at the Forum,
so you're watching you know, fucking whoever at the Forum. Yeah,
that'll be on the screen at the end of it dome,
and while another band is setting up, so when one
band breaks down, alternating setups. Yeah, So when one band's
breaking down, they're gonna go to the Forum and then
it's gonna be fucking.
Speaker 6: It's like Stevie Wonder, Billie Eilish, Joni Mitchell, Stephen Stills,
Black Olivia Rodrigo, Black.
Speaker 3: Crows, No Doubt, Green Day, The list goes on.
Speaker 4: Yep, goes on. And now here's my only problem with it.
Speaker 5: And I think it's great, and it's streaming on every
single service HBO, Max, Netflix, Paramount Plus. No, no, it's
just streaming free on every fucking single thing. All the
ticketmasters and Live Nation waved all their regular stupid fees
for this, so every dollar really goes to the fucking thing.
Speaker 4: But here's my problem.
Speaker 5: Did you see one of the bands that's playing at
the over at where the Clippers play, Earth, Wind and Fire.
Speaker 4: That's who started this whole thing, Earth Went. If it
wass for Earth, the Wind and all this fire, we
wouldn't even be there. No one of your headlining asses.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 4: That's throwing it in the face of the palisades.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 6: Wow, thank you that that it's not sold out though
none of the floor seats have sold that should have
been sold out days ago.
Speaker 3: Dude, for what.
Speaker 4: What we've been talking about for the last five minutes.
Speaker 3: Totally checked out.
Speaker 5: That concert that l a fire concert that's streaming on
everything at the Clippers and the Forum, Dave Matthews and
and uh John Mayer playing together for the first.
Speaker 3: Time yeah, what are they gonna where? They just gonna
play Dave matthew songs.
Speaker 4: Do you think? What does that?
Speaker 5: I think they're probably gonna do both and fucking or whatever.
But black Crows, I can about Dave Matthews.
Speaker 3: Man, I just don't don't care about them.
Speaker 5: I think those two playing together would be very interesting,
and since they've never played together. While we're here, Matthews, Oh,
I thought you were helping California and trying to make
it rain kind of selling rain.
Speaker 2: Oh, Dave Matthews song sounds like to me.
Speaker 5: I know, let's get the funk on here, because I
know Johnny's girlfriends gotta go pussy. And here's an interesting
stat that I saw. Was and then I got one
more gig to plug that and this was shocking to me.
Christian McCaffrey, Yeah, has missed thirty seven of ninety four
games of his NFL career.
Speaker 4: Of his games, he has fucking missed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fucking what was that?
Speaker 6: Do you think that was a good trade for the Panthers. Yeah,
Panthers in twenty two.
Speaker 4: To three, you sold a lemon.
Speaker 3: You sold a lemon, a second, a third, and a fourth,
and then another and then a fifth the following year, second, third, fourth,
and a fifth.
Speaker 5: You looked under the hood, you saw that you're gonna
fucking need to redo the whole engine soon, and you
sold it to some dumb schmuck. Yeah, yeah, you fucking
grifted the fucking forty nine ers because now they got
him on this giant salary and he's played like nine
games for him in fucking four years, three years.
Speaker 6: Because there was a time like maybe that thunder, not
even a year ago. There was a time people were
calling out a terrible trade, like one of the worst
trades ever.
Speaker 4: Well, of course on paper, but you must have known
something that they didn't.
Speaker 3: The guy doesn't play, doesn't play right.
Speaker 2: You must have known something, bro.
Speaker 3: You must You have to look at something.
Speaker 6: We didn't do much of the picks. It was like
Jonathan Mingo, DJ Johnson.
Speaker 1: I mean, so maybe it wasn't good for anybody. You
guys just move trash around.
Speaker 3: I think that's the answer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, probably, dude.
Speaker 1: By the way, guys, real quick, we talk about the
hot new league, the hot three on three women's basketball
league that they were just trying so hard to shove
down our throats.
Speaker 2: Again, they're like, you didn't care about the BA.
Speaker 1: But you're gonna love three on three and they go,
there's no listen, there's First of.
Speaker 5: All, they should have called it double threesome. No, now
you got my attention. Six chicks, double threesome. Whoa dud, dude.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, bro, that stands are empty. There.
Speaker 4: You know what?
Speaker 3: You know what you want to create a lead? That
what people would watch?
Speaker 4: Bro?
Speaker 6: You get you have three on three, two women, one
guy on the court. At any time, I'd watch that.
Think about you got one?
Speaker 3: Just tone, just don't looking on these bitches.
Speaker 2: It's called black on Blonde. You should check it out.
Speaker 4: Audition for it.
Speaker 3: Actually, it's in my favorite the Black.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: No, they just put me in a blond whick and
gave me the script.
Speaker 2: Okay, you go.
Speaker 5: A nice guys, you guys. I love you guys, Sammy,
have fun, Scott. Maybe I'll see them now. I'll I'll
hit you up and let you know.
Speaker 4: Because I love you guys.
Speaker 5: He's up there, Sammy love you, love you too.
Speaker 4: Good. See anybody have fun. Let me know how the
content is, buddy.
Speaker 3: We'll do many time. We might see Eagles too at
the if it's not too expensive. Of the sphere, but
don't go to Glynn Fries Dead. But I like Joe Walsh.
I like to see I like his guitar playing. He
makes me happy, so I might go see him just
for that. I just want to go. They seem that's.
Speaker 4: Cool, But then you don't want to pay at your
wise it will be cheap.
Speaker 6: Like the very last minute, you know, and see if
if something happens, like something gets cheap, because I've noticed
in the pasting.
Speaker 5: Last minute drop out kind of like almost like going
to see a Broadway play and you just wait till
the five minutes before the show start. You're just in
the parking lot waiting, checking your fucking's.
Speaker 4: Right here, so you know that's true.
Speaker 5: Alright, brother man, all right, guys Lexicon Kentucky twenty second,
come see me at the Country Boy Brewery and suck it.
Speaker 2: Why what did I sing?
Speaker 10: Every girl's my girlfriend, Every girl's my girlfriend, every good?
Speaker 3: It distarted me how much Sam loved this song?
Speaker 4: If he asks like he has special needs?
Speaker 2: What did I saying, Jobby, stop this leather rock.
Speaker 1: These are kids we're supporting now if you are, if
you're a drunk.
Speaker 7: Punchert buy the album if you want to find this
and buy it. It's the kids with Knee High Let's
get busy. As the name of the album's my girlfriend.
Speaker 2: Every drow's my girlfriend. I made, I'm gonna make. I'm
gonna put this a vote. Should this be the new
punch Drunk theme