Speaker 1: It's a walk and way of life when you openly
admit to yourself that creativity is an addiction. It answers
so many questions and gives you peace of mind, especially
late at night. Unplugged because we will always say yes
to creativity, totally uncut because we all make mistakes, So
turn it into a tool. This is arrow unplugged, hey Taro,
And this is dfrag. This is where you come to
ask questions and you question the answers. Oh, you don't
ask me, You ask yourself. You have that relationship with yourself.
So often we find ourselves in a position of just
being alone. You can even have people around you and
you feel alone. But we don't ask the questions, nor
do we chase down the answers, because we settle for
one answer and we think everything's okay with that one answer.
But we don't question the answers. And that's what defragging
is all about. It's about breaking stuff down. Now we're
getting ready to go out.
Speaker 2: Onto our transition walk right now throughout the forest, which
is what we do every day. And the thing is
is that today we've lost an hour of sleep because
of daylight savings time and what else has happened. Well,
it's raining, so we got to prepare for that, because
if I don't put myself in a position of asking
the questions and questioning the answers, then I'm not being
fair to you with my own personal defragging. And that's
what we're going to put focus on, is the defragging
that we all need to be doing. And one of
the subjects that we're going to deal with today. You
can't fake the smile without getting caught in the corner
of someone's eye. You can't fake the smile without getting
caught in the corner of someone's eye. All right, I'll
see out in the forest. Okay, we're out in the forest.
It's cold. It's early March, which means it's damp in
the air. The atmosphere is biting, and this is the
time of season where the Carolinas come under attack, which
really plays hell on your mind, body, and soul. When
weather is an acting the way that we want it to,
then it's going to play. It's going to play your senses.
It's going to play your game, but a game of
negativity more than positive energy. So what happens is is
that we put on the candy coat of bathroom mirror smile,
the fake smile. But you can't fake smile unless you're
caught in the corner of someone's eye. That's our subject.
I'm d Frek, and of course ask the question, the
question is what is that even about? What does that mean?
Come on, we all do it, We all have fake smiles.
That's one of my weaknesses. I'll call it a weakness.
And the reason why I see it as a weakness
more than a strength is because I've been accused multiple
times of hey, can I get the real you instead
of this person who thinks everything is always great? And
at that point in time, I always want to look
at it and say, when did I ever say that
everything was great? I tend to believe that I walked
toward the fire to help put out the fire. I
don't run away from the fire. But the thing is
is that you can't have a fake smile without getting
caught in the corner of someone's eye. In other words,
those moments where you've got that little determination in you
that says, I'm not ready to go to the fire.
I think I'm gonna step to the side and let
somebody else run for me. A superior a wife, a father,
somebody that has mentored you sees your moment of doubt,
and all of a sudden, in the corner of their eye,
they see that in the way of you not showing
off that fake smile, that fake determination, that realism about
the everyday world. I'm not saying that it's not real.
It's very real. It is a mechanism where you can
go home and you can really strengthen your inner Cora
by thinking positive. But you can't fake a smile without
getting caught in the corner of someone's eye. I have
a coworker who was told to change her facial expressions
by a department manager. I was offended. I mean I
really was offended for the person because you want to
know what her comment to me was, don't people realize
that I have a resting bitch face? Now? That hurt me.
That hurt me because I've never thought of this person
having a resting bitch face. But to have a superior
somebody in the corner of their eye catch this particular
person without a smile forces that person to go into
a mode of fake smile. Me. I live it. I
know what it's like. There are so many things that
are moving through my head at the essential job, the thoughts,
the planning, the exercises, and then when I see somebody
that I I know, boom, Instantly that smile is put
into place. Hey, what's going on? You guys doing good?
Do you think that's real? Do you think they feel
it's real? My fake smile was probably caught in the
corner of their eye as we defrag on this thirty
seven degree day with light rain, cold out here in
this forest, it's very quiet. The lake doesn't have any
ripples in it except for the little droplets of water.
But as we defrag this and we talk about getting
caught in the corner of other people's eyes, what about
our own eyes, our own steps of how we're growing.
How many times have we faked having the right attitude
in a situation where you know things are going down.
You know, we've all seen those Hollywood movies where the
captain of the ship isn't going to jump, He's going
to stay there until that ship goes underwater. Sometimes we
are put in positions like that on our self made
journeys when the moment has gotten too tough. We fake
the ambition, We fake the dedication, the loyalty, the determination
because we caught ourselves with the fake moment. That's one
of the reasons why I like to defrag, because I'll
break that stuff down and when I put it on paper,
I'll ask the next question. That'll just keep breaking it
down until I understand the full process of what is
taking place. Stephen Ferdick recently described such situations like that
as being that God is upstream and we're downstream. We
can sit here and try to predict what our lives
are going to be like every single day, and we'll
put on that face, we'll put on our big boy pants,
and we'll get on that trail. We'll make it work.
But then what happens when it goes wrong? Then we
have to reconvince ourselves that, look, man, we all have
struggles in our everyday world. I'm gonna fake it until
I make it. Oh you've heard that term before, right, Yeah?
Fake smiling the corner of someone else's eye they see us.
You're always being seen, haven't you learned that from all
of these videos that are catching these crazy moments in
history and there were no camera people there from the
television stations. I really do work with people that base
their day on my attitude. Well, boy, the pressure's on there,
isn't it. Doesn't that serve as an invitation for me
to create the fake smile? Yeah, because the corner of
their eyes are catching me, and so they know that
if the weather's going to be rough, or if we've
lost an hour of sleep, oh, that's going to affect
this guy. Well man, this has been a tough morning.
I don't need this guy to be negative when he
gets here. He needs to be upbeat because too many
people depend on that upbeatness. They do realize that I
have to do things in order to get into that
state of mind that is a fake I transition like
these transition walks him on right now, I dfrag. I
don't go anywhere in any time of my day unless
I have defragged it. I'm not trying to plan it out.
I'm not trying to sit there and think that this
is going to happen. This better happen. If it doesn't happen,
I'm gonna have a fit. Why didn't it happen? That's
not what defragging is all about. It's knowing the mindset
without having to fake the journey, rememories, fake smiles are
an everyday part of our life. I often wonder at
the Essential Job if those who are our guests aren't
thinking a smile when they see me, because you know,
it's like, you know, we all live in this tangled
mess of life, but you don't want to get caught
in a stumble or a moment of falling down, so
you put on the candy coated plastic bathroom mirror smile.
So for admitting to each other on this episode of
Defrag that we do have fake smiles, we use our
fake smiles to our benefit. And if you do have
resting bitch face and someone tells you you've got to
change your facial expressions, Jesus, that's a lot of pressure
right there. The question is is how do we make
a genuine smile? Because I really, seriously I would love
to see the numbers of people who really are very
proud of being at their places, at position, at work.
And can you do that at a radio program? Director?
Tell me one time he goes because everybody thinks they
can do radio, and yeah, they can come in here.
I'll give them that chance. Come on here, I'll put
you on the microphone, I'll let you fill in those efforts,
But can you do it six days a week, seven
to nine hours a day in that studio. Now, I'm
going to ask you, even play radio, your job is
a little different, your career, your dreams. We all have
these personal visions of what we want to do and
what we want to become. But the thing is is
that are you faking it or are you truly enjoying
the adventure? Podcasting is definitely one of those for me,
you know, twenty twelve when I jumped into it. I
know why I've jumped into it. There's two reasons. Reason
Number one, I was trying to find better ways to
get our clients, the advertisers, more time, more than just
sixty seconds, fifteen seconds or a five second abbot. I
wanted these people, I love them so much, I have
more time, and I stopped podcasting and being oh my god.
Well the company didn't see it that way in twenty twelve,
not like they do today. And the other reason why
I jumped into it is because I no longer had
a position of sharing conversation in terrestrial radio. The station
that I had named for had pretty much gone to
no Keeland thought it was all going to be done
by the computer. Pretty strange for a creative persons whose
whole entire life was based on sharing conversation on in
terrestrial radio. But now I could do this thing called podcasting.
But the thing is is that in twenty twelve and
we're in twenty twenty three, Well, it's been one hell
of a journey of fake smiles, fake ambitions, fake stories.
And the reason why is because I've had to motivate
the self to expect the hardcore business side of podcasting.
You know, it's not all about just getting on that
microphone and talking. It's there's so much involved in that.
And I believe that your personal life is the same way,
but they don't show you that along the way that manual.
But we get that your creation before you're you know,
you're coming into the world. For some reason, we leave
it at the door. And then when we come into
the world, we.
Speaker 3: Think, God, we got this, we got it, I'm gonna
grow up, I'm gonna be this, I'm gonna do that,
And then without even notice, something changes in your life
and everything get gripped of being or becoming, stands still
and we shape.
Speaker 2: You know, he says, you can't fake a smile, and
so you're cut in the corner of someone's And so
you have this desire of being what a musician, chef,
someone who runs a bank? What is your desire? You
want to run a retail store? Beautiful? But what gets
in the way? Is it your faith smile and you
setting yourself for good? Or is it somebody saying do
you got a change? The expression I've got rest in
a bitch face? Man, what am I supposed to do?
That's what I mean. You've got to figure out three
G fagging, asking questions, questioning the answers. Where are do
you hold a job or a career only because the
money is good? I had a former manager. I saw
her yesterday and we talked about that very subject. I
asked her, Hey, how's everything going at your new job? Well?
I got to be honest with you. You know, if
it wasn't for the money, I'd probably beep back over here.
But I can't sacrifice the money. Oh guess what just happened.
I just caught her with a faint smile in the
corner of my eyes. That's how we are living these
days now. I'm not saying that if he innocently started
defraggings dead that your world is going to become perfect.
It doesn't happen that way. I've been defragging in my
journal since November of twenty seventeen, and each day that
I defragged, I find out a little bit more, a
little bit more. You start taking those letters and you
create sentences. It reminds me so much of martial arts.
It's that everybody quists once they get a black belt.
I got my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt artist.
Now that's so cool. But you know what, it's just
a chapter of the journey. The thing that I've learned
as a martial artist is that all the belts below
a black belt are nothing but letters in the alphabet.
And you become a black belt, you learn how to
put words together. Your second degree. Now you're putting paragraphs together.
Your third degree. Now you're maybe writing a page. It's
a growing process. Religion and spirituality is no different. You
add to the journey the story. But if you're going
to fake a smile while not wanting to get caught
in the corner of someone's eye, then you've got to
really put on the genuine smile, the authentic self with
the vision of who you truly are and how you
are in tune with what you're going to become. Yes,
it's going to change. Yes you're going to have fake smiles. Yes,
it's all there. But when you have a fake smile moment,
ask the questions, question and ask this, get to know
what put you in that moment? What was your figgure?
I'm eron and that's the drivers