1
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,160
Speaker 1: What's going on? Thank you so much for listening to

2
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,640
this podcast. It is heard live every day from noon

3
00:00:09,679 --> 00:00:12,519
to three on WBT Radio in Charlotte. And if you

4
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:16,719
want exclusive content like invitations to events, the weekly live stream,

5
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,239
my daily show prep with all the links, become a patron,

6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,640
go to thepeteclendershow dot com. Make sure you hit the

7
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,160
subscribe button. Get every episode for free right to your

8
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,719
smartphone or tablet, And again, thank you so much for

9
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:33,399
your support. So I found out the other day that

10
00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:41,039
there is a word called man keeping man keeping. It's

11
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:49,479
like housekeeping, but with a man. You're keeping a man

12
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:54,719
man keeping. It's apparently it falls under a category of

13
00:00:55,479 --> 00:01:01,399
emotional labor, which I also did not know existed. There

14
00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:08,120
is a term called emotional labor. Okay. This was a

15
00:01:08,159 --> 00:01:11,480
piece at the New York Times, probably inspired by some

16
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:16,799
randoh TikTok or Instagram nutball, But here we are actually no,

17
00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:21,599
these nutballs have degrees and they've actually done research on this.

18
00:01:23,519 --> 00:01:31,280
For example, Justin leoi yallow lioiya some. Well, I mean,

19
00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:41,439
how would you pronounce this one? L ioi liyah wah leoi. Well,

20
00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:45,319
I'm gonna call him Justin. Justin is a licensed clinical

21
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:50,799
social worker in Brooklyn, and he specializes in therapy for dudes.

22
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,760
When he sees a new client, one of the first

23
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,560
things he asks is who can you talk to about

24
00:01:57,599 --> 00:02:01,359
what's going on in your life? And much of the time,

25
00:02:02,599 --> 00:02:07,079
Justin says that his straight male clients tell him that

26
00:02:07,159 --> 00:02:14,680
they rarely open up to anyone except their girlfriends or wives,

27
00:02:16,159 --> 00:02:22,159
and that's wrong. You are putting the woman under emotional labor.

28
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:29,879
You are forcing her to do emotional labor for you. Now,

29
00:02:29,879 --> 00:02:32,000
before I know what you're gonna say, You're like, well,

30
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,120
but I like my wife talks to me about stuff too,

31
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,039
so do I. I'm doing emotional labor as well. No,

32
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:46,039
you're not. See, it's different. It's different because women they

33
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:50,680
talk to other women. I mean, they may talk to

34
00:02:50,719 --> 00:02:52,680
you too, but that doesn't matter. Well, the only thing

35
00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:54,680
that matters is that they talk to other women also

36
00:02:55,159 --> 00:02:58,120
about all of these things. I think that's why they

37
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,560
all go to the bathroom at the same time. Either

38
00:03:00,599 --> 00:03:03,520
that or they're like uploading data to the mothership in orbit.

39
00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:07,919
I'm not sure. Much of the time, he says that

40
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:13,080
they say it's their girlfriends or wives and their partners.

41
00:03:13,439 --> 00:03:19,719
These wives and girlfriends have become their unofficial therapists quote

42
00:03:20,039 --> 00:03:25,719
doing all the emotional labor or doing the work. Yeah,

43
00:03:26,599 --> 00:03:33,080
they're doing the work. Okay. I thought, weren't we supposed

44
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,520
to be opening up to the women. I wasn't that

45
00:03:35,639 --> 00:03:41,680
a big thing. I remember that being a thing. I remember, yes, definitely,

46
00:03:41,719 --> 00:03:44,719
because I read a book about it years ago. It

47
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,960
was called Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus.

48
00:03:49,439 --> 00:03:51,800
And I will save you the trouble. I mean, you

49
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,520
should go read it if you want to read about

50
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,560
how men and women are different. Which wait a minute,

51
00:03:55,759 --> 00:03:58,840
I thought they weren't anymore, that you could be either one.

52
00:03:59,159 --> 00:04:03,080
What if I identify as a woman just for my

53
00:04:03,639 --> 00:04:09,240
unofficial therapy sessions with Christy? Does that count? I will

54
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,680
save you the trouble here of going out finding the

55
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,240
book and reading it, although I'm not saying don't. But

56
00:04:16,079 --> 00:04:20,720
here's the big takeaway. Men and women are different, very transphobic,

57
00:04:20,879 --> 00:04:26,360
and that men and women because they are different, they

58
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:30,480
think things through differently, they work out problems in their

59
00:04:30,519 --> 00:04:35,279
heads differently. This was groundbreaking stuff at the time, like

60
00:04:35,399 --> 00:04:37,879
I remember reading it, and everybody was talking about this book.

61
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:43,279
Mena from Mars, Women are from Venus and So for example,

62
00:04:43,639 --> 00:04:47,560
it's like one of the highest forms of flattery or

63
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,600
praise that a dude can offer another dude is to

64
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:56,759
ask him his advice on something, because I will tell

65
00:04:56,759 --> 00:05:00,759
you as a dude, we generally don't appreciate dudes coming

66
00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:03,199
up and telling us like, you know, this is what

67
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,560
you need to do. Your friends will be like, oh,

68
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,279
how are you doing this? Oh have you heard about

69
00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:10,879
this other thing whatever? But it's like it's it's it's

70
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,720
generally considered I think bad form to just roll up

71
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,360
on someone as some other guy and be like, hey,

72
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,279
you're doing that wrong. Listen to me. I'll give you

73
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,000
this advice. This is the way you need to do

74
00:05:22,079 --> 00:05:25,000
this thing. But if I come to you when I ask,

75
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,920
you should be honored because like, I can't figure this out.

76
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,839
So I go to you and you know like mm,

77
00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:36,000
caveman burns hand and fire and you say, hm, cavemen

78
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,160
get longer stick and it's like, oh my gosh, Like

79
00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:43,839
that's that's such a high form of praise. And so

80
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,160
guys think things through, or as the book said at

81
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,399
the time, that men retreat to their caves to think

82
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,519
things through. They have a problem, they have an issue,

83
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,720
they're trying to sort it out in their head and

84
00:05:57,759 --> 00:06:03,879
that's an internal processing kind of an event. Right now,

85
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,959
women again being different, and this is not to say

86
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:11,079
one is better or worse. It's just that we are

87
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:15,279
different and women not all women hashtag not all women like,

88
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,560
not all of them, but generally speaking, the argument goes

89
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:27,120
that women process through external means. They talk with each

90
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,240
other about a problem or an issue and that sort

91
00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:34,480
of thing, and oftentimes they do know what the solution

92
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,879
to a problem is, but that's not what they get

93
00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:41,879
their satisfaction from or their catharsis from. It's the process

94
00:06:42,519 --> 00:06:46,439
of talking that gives them the catharsis right, And this

95
00:06:46,519 --> 00:06:49,480
actually causes a lot of problems between men and women

96
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,399
where a woman says, you know, I have this problem,

97
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,319
and the guy's like, oh, and he thinks she's asking

98
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,759
for a solution, not support. So Christy and I have

99
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,120
we have, you know, sometimes we'll be like, wait, are

100
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,120
you asking for a solution or support? Is this a

101
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:12,720
solution conversation or are you support conversation? Right? And most times

102
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:16,639
it's support because they just they want to talk about it.

103
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,480
And a guy hears I got this problem. He says

104
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,959
here's the solution. She's like, no, I have this problem,

105
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,600
and he's like, yes, here's the solution. He gets frustrated

106
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:29,079
that she's not listening to him offer the solution because

107
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:33,720
to him, solution check the box. Let's move on, right,

108
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,600
But that's not where she gets her catharsis, and so

109
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,279
then she feels like he's not listening to her, and

110
00:07:39,319 --> 00:07:43,240
then they have this argument because she's seeking support, he's

111
00:07:43,279 --> 00:07:48,319
offering solutions. Okay, that's the premise of the book. And

112
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,439
then they tell all these different stories in the book

113
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:56,480
about that premise. Okay, and then if I remember, they

114
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,879
were like, here's how you navigate this stuff. Whatever. So

115
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:03,959
women talk with their friends about their issues, about their problems,

116
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:08,199
and men go and retreat to a cave and think

117
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:12,160
it through themselves. But then they're like, no, you've got

118
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:16,079
to be more emotionally available. You have to you've got

119
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,399
to talk about your problems. I want to know how

120
00:08:18,439 --> 00:08:20,759
you're feeling aboutthing, what are you thinking about? Like all

121
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,319
of this right, And so then men start behaving in

122
00:08:24,399 --> 00:08:31,199
this way. This becomes encouraged, and now now we are

123
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:37,840
causing problems by sharing. We are now accused of forcing

124
00:08:37,879 --> 00:08:43,960
our loved ones to do emotional labor, that being man keeping,

125
00:08:44,639 --> 00:08:47,399
at least according to The New York Times. Well, it's

126
00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:53,879
actually according to Angelica Puzzio Ferrara, who coined the term

127
00:08:54,360 --> 00:09:00,600
man keeping. All right, if you're listening to this show,

128
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,159
you know I try to keep up with all sorts

129
00:09:02,159 --> 00:09:04,200
of current events, and I know you do too, And

130
00:09:04,279 --> 00:09:07,720
you've probably heard me say get your news from multiple sources.

131
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,480
Why Well, because it's how you detect media bias, which

132
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,399
is why I've been so impressed with ground News. It's

133
00:09:14,519 --> 00:09:17,960
an app, and it's a website and it combines news

134
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,919
from around the world in one place so you can

135
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,279
compare coverage and verify information. You can check it out

136
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,960
at check dot ground, dot news slash pete. I put

137
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,919
the link in the podcast description too. I started using

138
00:09:30,919 --> 00:09:33,840
ground News a few months ago and more recently chose

139
00:09:33,879 --> 00:09:35,840
to work with them as an affiliate because it lets

140
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,480
me see clearly how stories get covered and by whom.

141
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,679
The blind spot feature shows you which stories get ignored

142
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,639
by the left and the right. See for yourself check

143
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:50,240
dot ground, dot news slash pete. Subscribe through that link

144
00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:53,159
and you'll get fifteen percent off any subscription. I use

145
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,320
the Vantage plan to get unlimited access to every feature

146
00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,279
your subscription then not only helps my podcast, but it

147
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,480
also supports ground News as they make the media landscape

148
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:06,399
more transparent. Thank you. By the way, this came from

149
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:11,360
and I have seen this before from John Galt, who

150
00:10:11,399 --> 00:10:15,159
is John Gult anyway, this is from a guy named

151
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:20,159
Jason Headley, and this is from several years ago, but

152
00:10:20,279 --> 00:10:22,399
it is hilarious. And just picture as a guy and

153
00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:24,879
a girl sitting on a couch talking to each other,

154
00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:26,360
and here it is.

155
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:32,480
Speaker 2: It's just there's all this pressure, you know, and sometimes

156
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:36,960
it feels like it's right up on me and I

157
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,080
can just feel it, like literally feel it in my head,

158
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:44,679
and it's relentless, and I don't know if it's going

159
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,039
to stop. I mean, that's the thing that scares me

160
00:10:46,039 --> 00:10:48,080
the most, is that I don't know if it's ever

161
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:56,679
going to stop. Yeah, well, you do have a nail

162
00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:58,639
in your head.

163
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,720
Speaker 1: She has a nail about the nail? Are you sure?

164
00:11:01,879 --> 00:11:03,519
Speaker 2: And because I mean, I'll bet if we got that

165
00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,120
out of there, stop trying to fix it.

166
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,519
Speaker 1: No, I'm not trying to fix it. I'm just pointing

167
00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:10,360
out that maybe the nail is causing you always do this.

168
00:11:10,919 --> 00:11:13,000
Speaker 2: You always try to fix things when what I really

169
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:13,639
need is for you.

170
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,200
Speaker 1: To just listen. See, I don't think that is what

171
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,480
you need. I think what you need is to get

172
00:11:17,519 --> 00:11:20,399
the nail now. Okay, fine, I will listen. Fine.

173
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:29,559
Speaker 2: It's just sometimes it's like there's this achy I don't

174
00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:33,159
know what it is, and I'm not sleeping very well

175
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,919
at all, and all my sweaters are snagged, I mean

176
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:36,840
all of them.

177
00:11:38,879 --> 00:11:45,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds really hard. It is.

178
00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:47,279
Speaker 2: Thank you.

179
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:53,240
Speaker 1: There you go. Are you looking for solutions or support? Right?

180
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,399
And just as a tip, if you use this in

181
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,480
a conversation if it's feeling like things are getting tense

182
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,120
when you're having a discussion about some problem or whatever,

183
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,080
just take a pause and say is this is this?

184
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,039
Do you need support or a solution? And don't say

185
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:15,159
it like you're mad about it. Just we need to know,

186
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,879
like what it is that you need, what is your

187
00:12:16,879 --> 00:12:21,919
emotional need? But now I'm starting to wonder if this

188
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,320
is the wrong approach, Because it's not the wrong approach.

189
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,960
Keep doing that, but now that I'm aware of this

190
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:33,639
term mankeeping, So okay, so I got I gotta shut down.

191
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:37,759
Don't talk to my wife about the things about issues

192
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:42,080
anything like that, because now I'm placing a burden on

193
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:48,840
her emotional labor. So this is a new name called

194
00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:52,879
man keeping. The term was coined by Angelica Puzzio Ferrara,

195
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:58,159
a doctoral fellow at Stanford University, and it has now

196
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:04,600
taken off online. It describes the work women do to

197
00:13:04,799 --> 00:13:07,960
meet the social and emotional needs of the men in

198
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,440
their lives, from supporting their partners through daily challenges and

199
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:17,000
inner turmoil, to encouraging them to meet up with their friends.

200
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:23,159
That's like everything. So it's like basically being married. Like

201
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:27,720
I have said from the very beginning, Christy and I

202
00:13:27,759 --> 00:13:30,919
when we first started dating, like, she is way more

203
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,600
extroverted than I am. I'm actually an introvert. People think

204
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,840
that's crazy, Pete, how could you be an introvert you're

205
00:13:36,879 --> 00:13:39,279
on the radio. It's very simple. I usually just talk

206
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,440
to a wall. See, so I'm like facing a blank

207
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:48,480
screen on the studio desktop here. But look, I can

208
00:13:48,519 --> 00:13:52,639
function out in you know, big gatherings of people. Sure,

209
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,240
it's just more draining for me than it is for her.

210
00:13:56,519 --> 00:14:01,200
She's energized by that. I am drained. And that's the

211
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:05,440
difference between introverts and extroverts, and neither one is better

212
00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:09,440
or worse. They're just different. Okay, they're just different. But now,

213
00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:14,960
according to this research or sorry, postdoctoral fellow, the work

214
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,440
women do to meet the social and emotional needs of

215
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,960
the men in their lives. I thought that was just

216
00:14:19,039 --> 00:14:21,000
part of being married, because like I do that for

217
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,879
Christy too. Is that woman keeping I gotta do?

218
00:14:24,919 --> 00:14:25,320
Speaker 2: I go do?

219
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,960
Speaker 1: I get a name for that. Now, she does encourage

220
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,679
me to meet up with my friends. She does do that,

221
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,519
but that's that's part of the deal. Like I turned

222
00:14:35,519 --> 00:14:39,679
over all of the social calendar planning basically to her.

223
00:14:39,799 --> 00:14:41,679
Unless I need to do something, then I, you know,

224
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,799
let her know obviously. But like all of that social

225
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:50,120
butterfly stuff like, that's that's her wheelhouse. And so I

226
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:53,519
consider it comparative advantage to use an economic term, right,

227
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,399
that's her comparative advantage compared compared to me. She's much

228
00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,320
better at keeping up with everybody. We still we'll send

229
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:05,399
birthday cards to like probably hundreds of people. Like every

230
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,080
day there's a card on my desk that I have

231
00:15:08,159 --> 00:15:13,440
to sign and write some notes on. I didn't ask

232
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,080
her to do that. She just does that on her

233
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:19,120
own I'm not. I'm not man keeping her or woman

234
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:24,840
keeping her. I'm not making her do that. Doctor Ferrara says, quote.

235
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:27,200
What I have been seeing in my research is how

236
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,679
women have been asked or expected to take on more

237
00:15:30,759 --> 00:15:33,879
work to be a central, if not the central, piece

238
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:39,240
of a man's social support system. Okay, I've never asked

239
00:15:39,279 --> 00:15:41,679
Christy to do that, and again, I'm just gonna only

240
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:44,080
speak for myself. I have not asked her to do that.

241
00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:49,080
Maybe she wants to do that, wants to be that,

242
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,200
But again, I always assume that the whole point of

243
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,120
becoming man and wife getting married was that you could

244
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,559
lean on each other, that you could be that support

245
00:15:57,639 --> 00:15:59,960
system for somebody else. I thought that was kind of

246
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,759
part of the deal. In fact, I know it was

247
00:16:01,799 --> 00:16:05,240
because I promised it in front of a minister and

248
00:16:05,279 --> 00:16:07,919
a whole bunch of people at a church. Okay, so

249
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,039
I know that's part of what I agreed to. So

250
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:15,200
I don't understand now why this is now some burden

251
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,480
that I'm being accused of placing on the woman I love.

252
00:16:19,559 --> 00:16:21,919
The concept has taken on a bit of life of

253
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,639
its own, with some articles going so far as to

254
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:28,480
claim that mankeeping has quote ruined dating and driven women

255
00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:32,720
to celibacy. So once again, it's our fault, guys, It's

256
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,759
all our fault. Here's a great idea. How about making

257
00:16:35,759 --> 00:16:38,799
an escape to a really special and secluded getaway in

258
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,559
western North Carolina. Just a quick drive up the mountain

259
00:16:41,639 --> 00:16:44,960
and Cabins of Asheville is your connection. Whether you're celebrating

260
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,440
an anniversary, a honeymoon, maybe you want to plan a

261
00:16:47,519 --> 00:16:50,240
memorable proposal, or get family and friends together for a

262
00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:53,720
big old reunion, Cabins of Asheville has the ideal spot

263
00:16:53,799 --> 00:16:56,360
for you where you can reconnect with your loved ones

264
00:16:56,399 --> 00:16:59,679
and the things that truly matter. Nestled within the breathtaking

265
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,000
fort teen thousand acres of the Pisga National Forest, their

266
00:17:03,039 --> 00:17:05,680
cabins offer a serene escape in the heart of the

267
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:09,000
Blue Ridge Mountains. Centrally located between Ashville and the entrance

268
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,000
of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. It's the perfect

269
00:17:12,039 --> 00:17:16,279
balance of seclusion and proximity to all the local attractions,

270
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:21,079
with hot tubs, fireplaces, air conditioning, smart TVs, Wi Fi, grills,

271
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:24,440
outdoor tables, and your own private covered porch. Choose from

272
00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:28,680
thirteen cabins, six cottages, two villas and a great lodge

273
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,359
with eleven king sized bedrooms. Cabins of Ashville has the

274
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,759
ideal spot for you for any occasion, and they have

275
00:17:35,839 --> 00:17:39,400
pet friendly accommodations. Call or text eight two eight three

276
00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:42,559
six seven seventy sixty eight or check out all there

277
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,480
is to offer at cabins Offashville dot com and make

278
00:17:45,559 --> 00:17:50,680
memories that'll last a lifetime. Men keeping. If you'd like to, uh,

279
00:17:52,319 --> 00:17:53,759
you want to send me a message on Twitter, It's

280
00:17:53,799 --> 00:17:56,400
at Pete Calendar. That's where I got this from Russ.

281
00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:00,759
It's a Pete tweet Russ's We have figured out a

282
00:18:00,759 --> 00:18:03,319
bunch of hacks in our marriage, many the hard way.

283
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,240
The best was her letting me know at the beginning

284
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,880
of a conversation if it was a listening or a

285
00:18:10,039 --> 00:18:14,480
fixing issue, and her being okay with me saying I

286
00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:16,960
don't know what I'm thinking yet, I need more time

287
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,799
to figure it out. That's a very good piece of

288
00:18:19,839 --> 00:18:22,319
advice too. I say, I tell Christy, I'm like, I

289
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:26,759
have to process this, and as a dude, I generally

290
00:18:26,799 --> 00:18:33,200
process this stuff in my own head. I kick it around,

291
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,759
I think at different things. It's not to say I

292
00:18:35,799 --> 00:18:37,880
go mute you know like I can talk, but like

293
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:42,519
I don't. But so sometimes though when I ask, you know,

294
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,160
various questions, and I test these different things in my

295
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:49,240
head as I'm processing something. Then if I'm saying this

296
00:18:49,279 --> 00:18:52,680
stuff out loud to Christy, she then sometimes may think

297
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:56,359
that like I'm not, I'm not listening to her. I'm

298
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,039
taking somebody else's side on something. And it's not that

299
00:18:59,079 --> 00:19:01,799
i'm doing that, it's just I'm simply running through the

300
00:19:01,799 --> 00:19:05,720
different angles. Well, maybe they're looking at it from this perspective.

301
00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:08,599
Would that make sense? And what would be you know,

302
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:13,559
some evidence that that would suggest that or would disprove that, right,

303
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,279
And so in walking these things through, that's that's how

304
00:19:16,279 --> 00:19:20,680
I process stuff. So that's a good that's a good

305
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,920
second line as well, which is I'm still thinking. I

306
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,480
don't know what I'm thinking about it yet, So he

307
00:19:28,559 --> 00:19:31,240
says I need more time to figure it out. Russ

308
00:19:31,279 --> 00:19:34,400
then says, this man keeping nonsense ties in with that

309
00:19:34,599 --> 00:19:39,119
Fraya or Freya India article. Indeed it does. From Friday,

310
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,680
I was actually going to do this story on Friday,

311
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:46,200
but then I blabbed too long and I never got

312
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:50,759
to it. But on Friday I talked about this article

313
00:19:50,839 --> 00:19:55,480
by Freya India that talked about the therapization of everything

314
00:19:56,839 --> 00:20:02,039
and how we are by you know, diagnosing every single

315
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:07,640
idiosyncrasy we have and trying to attach some explanation for

316
00:20:07,759 --> 00:20:10,720
it based on genes or trauma or whatever. I mean,

317
00:20:10,759 --> 00:20:14,119
genes G E, N E. S. Like, not the Sydney

318
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:18,200
Sweeney genes, but like the your genetics and stuff like, oh,

319
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,319
this is the this is the reason why I did

320
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:23,039
this thing or think this way or felt this way

321
00:20:23,079 --> 00:20:26,680
or whatever, as if everything is a problem that you

322
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,880
can slap a diagnosis on and then get fixed instead

323
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,079
of just being a human that we're all just different.

324
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:39,839
We all have different idio idiosyncrasies and that's okay. It's okay.

325
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:44,359
We used to call it personality, right Anyway, back to

326
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,960
Russ's message, he says, I'm sure that the PhD who

327
00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:50,880
coined the term has a very healthy quote unquote relationship.

328
00:20:51,279 --> 00:20:55,200
They're slapping psychobabble labels on totally normal behavior and trying

329
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,640
to make it seem weird. At the same time, they're

330
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:05,799
trying to normalize really fringe and destructive behaviors. That is correct,

331
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,960
Melissa says, that's why I have no women friends. I'm

332
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:17,240
a problem solver, not a therapist. I don't know. Bob

333
00:21:17,279 --> 00:21:20,960
wants to know about gay households. I don't know. I

334
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:25,079
don't know who carries the emotional burden there? Who does

335
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,480
the man keeping? Is it a mutual man keeping? I

336
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:36,200
don't know. Doctor Ferrara, who researches male friendship at Stanford's

337
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:41,640
Claimant Institute for Gender Research, along with Dylan Virgara, a

338
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,880
research assistant, published a paper on mankeeping in twenty twenty

339
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:50,519
four after investigating why some men struggle to form close bonds,

340
00:21:51,079 --> 00:21:58,680
a growing and well documented issue. It's the apps, guys.

341
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,920
I don't know. I don't know why you need to

342
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,119
do all of the research. It's it's the social media,

343
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:08,839
like video games, social media. Yeah, because it's it's in

344
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,640
every demographic category. It's people are isolating themselves. They don't

345
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,799
they don't need, they don't need to be in contact

346
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:19,079
with as many human beings anymore. And there's a downside

347
00:22:19,079 --> 00:22:25,680
to that. Just like Thomas Soule, right, the uh, the economist,

348
00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:28,359
he says, there are no there are no solutions, there

349
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:31,960
are only trade offs. Right, trade offf you have all

350
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,400
the information that the world has ever known in the

351
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,480
palm of your hand at all times. Downside, you can't

352
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,440
pay attention to any of it because your attention span

353
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,720
has been so shrunk by the algorithms in that same device. Right,

354
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:47,240
So there you go, right, trade offs.

355
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 2: In a.

356
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty one survey, fifteen percent of men said they

357
00:22:55,000 --> 00:23:00,200
did not have any close friends. Fifteen percent. That is

358
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:06,079
up from an earlier poll asking the same question in

359
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,359
nineteen ninety. So what thirty one years ago the number

360
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,799
was three percent of men who said they did not

361
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,680
have any close friends three percent. Now it's fifteen percent.

362
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,200
The same report showed that thirty one years ago, nearly

363
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,880
half of young men said that they would reach out

364
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:29,079
to friends when facing a personal issue. That nearly half,

365
00:23:29,319 --> 00:23:34,759
so under fifty percent. Two decades later, just over twenty

366
00:23:34,799 --> 00:23:38,680
percent said the same. Once again, I will remind you

367
00:23:38,799 --> 00:23:41,519
of the book. Men are from Mars and women are

368
00:23:41,519 --> 00:23:45,839
from Venus. Right, I only reach out to somebody if

369
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:50,160
I actually need the help. Right, That's I think what

370
00:23:50,279 --> 00:23:53,960
most men do. And if you do it too much,

371
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,000
then people start thinking, like you don't have your stuff together,

372
00:23:57,079 --> 00:23:59,039
you know what I mean? Like this guy's always asking

373
00:23:59,079 --> 00:24:02,640
me for help, Like just like attention seeking thing, and

374
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,160
it's always asking to borrow every single tool I have

375
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,160
no Actually I'm fine with the lending of the tools

376
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,279
unless they don't give them back. But that's why I

377
00:24:09,319 --> 00:24:12,440
put in my old address labels. Stick those on there,

378
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:17,240
put them on the tools. Doctor Ferrara found that women

379
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,319
tended to have all of these nodes of support they

380
00:24:20,319 --> 00:24:23,640
were going to for problems, whereas men were more likely

381
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:31,079
to be going to just their spouse or girlfriend. So

382
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,920
men and women are different, right, Men and women are different.

383
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,119
See again, it's as I said from the book, like

384
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,440
the highest honor you could give a guy is to

385
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,519
ask the guy for his advice on something, how to

386
00:24:43,559 --> 00:24:45,880
fix something, because it's an admission that you haven't been

387
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,359
able to fix it yourself. And so what do we

388
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,240
have here? We have a premise, an unstated premise, that

389
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,759
the female model is the correct model for men. That's

390
00:24:57,799 --> 00:25:04,279
the premise, right, because you're you're comparing, well, women go

391
00:25:04,319 --> 00:25:07,200
to their girlfriends all the time for their emotional support

392
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:11,480
and men don't, and the right thing is for women

393
00:25:11,559 --> 00:25:14,880
to do that, and therefore the right thing for men

394
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,759
is to also do that. Right, But what if it isn't?

395
00:25:18,279 --> 00:25:22,519
What if men being different, very transphobic, I know. But

396
00:25:22,599 --> 00:25:25,640
men being a little different, they process this stuff differently.

397
00:25:26,079 --> 00:25:30,160
Maybe we don't require not all men hashtag not all men,

398
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,759
but like not all men, but most men probably may

399
00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:41,519
not need this kind of emotional support from their dude friends.

400
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,039
I am a dude like I can speak with some

401
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:50,359
authority on this matter, as opposed to doctor Angelica Puzzio Ferrara,

402
00:25:50,559 --> 00:25:52,400
who is not a dude as far as I know.

403
00:25:55,519 --> 00:26:00,480
Ferrara says man keeping is an important extension of the

404
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:05,759
concept of kinkeeping. The work of keeping families together that

405
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:10,799
researchers have found tends to fall disproportionately on women. Why

406
00:26:10,839 --> 00:26:17,079
would that be? May there be some reason why women?

407
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:22,519
Why females have some sort of a greater drive to

408
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:29,279
keep the family unit together. Could there be some reason?

409
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:32,799
Maybe it traces back I don't know, millions of years

410
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,799
or something. Is that possible. I'm just spitballing here. I'm

411
00:26:35,799 --> 00:26:39,279
not a Stanford Fellow, so I don't know, but I

412
00:26:39,319 --> 00:26:42,440
would submit there may be something a little bit instinctive

413
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,640
going on there. You know. Stories are powerful. They help

414
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,440
us make sense of things, to understand experiences. Stories connect

415
00:26:49,519 --> 00:26:52,400
us to the people of our past, while transcending generations.

416
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,880
They help us process the meaning of life and our

417
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,119
stories are told through images and videos. Preserve your stories

418
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,359
with Creativevita started in nineteen ninety seven in mint Hill,

419
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,119
North Carolina. It was the first company to provide this

420
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,480
valuable service, converting images, photos and videos into high quality

421
00:27:09,519 --> 00:27:13,519
produced slide shows, videos and albums. The trusted, talented and

422
00:27:13,599 --> 00:27:16,240
dedicated team at Creative Video will go over all of

423
00:27:16,279 --> 00:27:20,240
the details with you to create a perfect project. Satisfaction guaranteed.

424
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,400
Drop them off in person or mail them. They'll be

425
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,720
ready in a week or two. Memorial videos for your

426
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:30,519
loved ones, videos for rehearsal, dinners, weddings, graduations, Christmas, family vacations, birthdays,

427
00:27:30,599 --> 00:27:34,400
or just your family stories, all told through images. That's

428
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,720
what your photos and videos are. They are your life

429
00:27:37,839 --> 00:27:40,440
told through the eyes of everyone around you and all

430
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,640
who came before you, and they will tell others to

431
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:47,039
come who you are. Visit creative video dot com. Let

432
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,880
us go to the text line and read some texts.

433
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,720
Right now. A couple of people asking about that video

434
00:27:52,759 --> 00:27:57,519
that I played. Where was the nail in the head.

435
00:27:57,559 --> 00:27:59,279
It was right in the middle of the woman's forehead.

436
00:27:59,319 --> 00:28:02,839
She had a nail protruding like a good four inches

437
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,000
out of the right, out of the center of her forehead.

438
00:28:07,279 --> 00:28:11,279
He said, that's so true and hilarious. Matt says, my

439
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,200
wife and I have used that video in premarital counseling

440
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:20,839
for years. It's funny and true. Now look up marriage algebra.

441
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:26,680
I've not heard of that. Rodney says. My vows were

442
00:28:26,759 --> 00:28:29,680
to have and to hold, and do as you're told,

443
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:38,279
or I guess as I'm told. Okay, someone's complaining about

444
00:28:38,319 --> 00:28:42,200
an and uh this is and that's for the morning show. Okay,

445
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,279
So caught up on the text line. So this is

446
00:28:45,319 --> 00:28:48,640
the piece from the New York Times why man keeping

447
00:28:48,759 --> 00:28:54,160
is turning women off? And then it tells the story

448
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:01,519
of Eve Tillie Coulson, thirty seven years old, who was

449
00:29:01,599 --> 00:29:04,920
relieved to stumble upon the concept of man keeping on

450
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:11,200
social media. Finally I have a diagnosis. Right, Yeah. She

451
00:29:11,279 --> 00:29:15,720
finds herself offering her live in boyfriend. By the way,

452
00:29:15,759 --> 00:29:22,319
they are both lawyers. Okay, so I kid, I kid

453
00:29:22,319 --> 00:29:27,000
the lawyers. She finds herself offering him a fair amount

454
00:29:27,039 --> 00:29:34,319
of social and emotional scaffolding her role as the de

455
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:41,119
facto social director of the relationship includes more serious concerns too,

456
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,799
like when are we going to meet each other's parents?

457
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,319
When are we going to go on our first vacation together?

458
00:29:48,079 --> 00:29:51,440
So like at like I don't know, sit down and

459
00:29:51,559 --> 00:29:54,920
talk about it. How about that? How about you sit

460
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:58,920
down and say, hey, well let's let's book a vacation. Okay,

461
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,920
what we do? We want to do it? Look, this works.

462
00:30:01,359 --> 00:30:04,759
Christy and I have done this exact thing. I know

463
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:09,640
other couples that do this too. They actually sit down

464
00:30:09,799 --> 00:30:18,039
and they talk to each other about going on vacation someplace. Yeah,

465
00:30:18,079 --> 00:30:21,480
but now she has a diagnosis. Now she has a

466
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,839
way to blame the dude. You're not doing enough. And

467
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,519
maybe he's not. I don't know. He didn't even want

468
00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,759
to give his last name for the interview. He's just like,

469
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,440
I'm gonna go by Glenn. He agreed to speak to

470
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:39,079
The New York Times, but first name only. He said

471
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:44,680
when she first described man keeping to him, was that

472
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,119
it seemed consistent with what he had seen play out

473
00:30:47,119 --> 00:30:50,599
in many heterosexual relationships, and he wondered, Okay, but is

474
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:57,440
that bad? Ms. Tillie Coulson, the woman that's the lawyer,

475
00:30:57,519 --> 00:31:01,319
but also she is a content creator, and she made

476
00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:08,079
a post about it on TikTok. There you go, the

477
00:31:08,079 --> 00:31:13,279
therapization of everything. Right, this same sort of thing that

478
00:31:13,359 --> 00:31:15,759
I went over in the in the first hour about

479
00:31:15,799 --> 00:31:21,559
the Sydney Sweeney outrage kicked up by these leftists online. Right,

480
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:27,079
it's the same pattern. Some random on TikTok or Instagram

481
00:31:27,759 --> 00:31:32,119
does some video. New York Times reporter comes across it,

482
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,839
does a story on this random TikTok video opens up

483
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:42,480
this whole world of mankeeping. And now you've amplified this thing.

484
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,880
Because I gotta tell you, not for nothing, but if

485
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,880
you tell guys that talking to their wives and girlfriends

486
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,960
about stuff in their lives, if you tell them that,

487
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:56,359
now you're placing a burden on them. You know what

488
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,720
dudes are gonna do. Take it from me, I'm a

489
00:31:59,799 --> 00:32:02,160
due ude. Dude's not going to talk to them about

490
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,359
this stuff. They're't going to talk to them about anything.

491
00:32:07,839 --> 00:32:10,480
So be careful what you wish for over here in

492
00:32:10,519 --> 00:32:15,000
New York Times. After this decades long campaign of making men,

493
00:32:15,039 --> 00:32:17,559
you know, emotionally available in all of this, and if

494
00:32:17,559 --> 00:32:20,799
you need look, I've talked about this. I watch these

495
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,559
bachelorette shows or whatever, not religiously, but I watch them

496
00:32:23,559 --> 00:32:26,640
with Christy. Christy likes watching the shows and it's one

497
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,319
of my It's like junk food. Okay, I like, I

498
00:32:29,359 --> 00:32:31,200
got nothing going on tonight, I'll sit down and I'll

499
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,000
watch the episode with her. And they all speak in

500
00:32:34,079 --> 00:32:38,279
this kind of language. Everything's a diagnosis. Everything is you know,

501
00:32:38,359 --> 00:32:41,559
thank you for being vulnerable with me. All this kind

502
00:32:41,599 --> 00:32:46,079
of therapy talk all the time, and they all end

503
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,640
up alone at the end of the shows. They're like

504
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,799
all alone, like I'm just so tired of being played

505
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,799
and all this Like yeah, because you created this entirely

506
00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,279
fake vocabulary instead of just talking to people as if

507
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:03,440
they're real, you know. Now, granted they are on TV

508
00:33:04,119 --> 00:33:06,559
and so they you know, and they've got you know,

509
00:33:06,599 --> 00:33:09,519
content creation careers ahead of them, so they got to

510
00:33:09,519 --> 00:33:11,759
make sure they got to, you know, not make any

511
00:33:11,759 --> 00:33:16,440
big mistakes. Rather than viewing mankeeping as an Internet approved

512
00:33:16,519 --> 00:33:19,440
bit of therapy speak used to dump on straight men,

513
00:33:20,039 --> 00:33:22,720
experts say they see it as a term that can

514
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,359
help sound the alarm about the need for men to

515
00:33:25,519 --> 00:33:31,240
invest emotionally in friendships. Okay, so guys have have friends.

516
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,039
How about that have some friends. I don't know what

517
00:33:35,119 --> 00:33:39,000
kind of emotional scaffolding your your buddy is going to

518
00:33:39,039 --> 00:33:43,720
provide you. But yeah, it's good. It's good to have friends.

519
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:48,680
There you go, small steps encourage a client to share

520
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,000
something new about himself with a friend he already has,

521
00:33:51,359 --> 00:33:53,440
or invite a friend he normally sees in only one

522
00:33:53,519 --> 00:33:56,640
context to do something new. It's a friendship building concept.

523
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,240
But some of the challenges men face and making strong

524
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,519
connections are scie til there you go. Many of the

525
00:34:02,559 --> 00:34:05,720
institutions in spaces where men used to organically make friends

526
00:34:05,759 --> 00:34:09,599
have eroded, like houses of worship, civic groups, and even

527
00:34:09,639 --> 00:34:17,199
this simple workplace. What did I say, it's the apps.

528
00:34:18,199 --> 00:34:21,679
People are not engaged civically. I have encouraged people to

529
00:34:21,679 --> 00:34:25,280
get engaged in civic organizations, in anything, in your church,

530
00:34:25,519 --> 00:34:30,599
your ho eight, whatever it is. Become involved for many reasons.

531
00:34:30,639 --> 00:34:32,760
But there is actually a good reason for you to

532
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,960
do this is that you meet other people and then

533
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,400
you can get some emotional scaffolding and you cannot emotionally

534
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,239
burden your spouse. How about that? All right, that'll do

535
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,800
it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening.

536
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,039
I could not do the show without your support and

537
00:34:47,119 --> 00:34:49,800
the support of the businesses that advertise on the podcast,

538
00:34:50,159 --> 00:34:52,239
so if you'd like, please support them too and tell

539
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,000
them you heard it here. You can also become a

540
00:34:54,039 --> 00:34:58,679
patron at my Patreon page or go to thepetecleanershow dot com. Again,

541
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,440
thank you so much for listening, and don't break anything

542
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,400
while I'm gone. M m

543
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 2: Hm