Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to the Cult of Cryptids, the Strange
Speaker 1: Root podcast and called the Conspiracy Collaboration. Now we're gonna
Speaker 1: throw it back to a fun one, one of the
Speaker 1: second specials ever that we filmed about Christmas creatures and monsters.
Speaker 1: So make sure to pour yourself a tall blass of
Speaker 1: eggnog and get ready for a laugh, because this special
Speaker 1: is quite hilarious. We had a lot of fun doing
Speaker 1: it and we hope you enjoy it also, So make
Speaker 1: sure to go subscribe to Strange Roup podcast wherever you
Speaker 1: find podcasts. We're also on Rumble and YouTube and x
Speaker 1: everywhere that you can find a podcast, you can find us.
Speaker 1: So Marry Christmas, everybody, and prepare because it's about to
Speaker 1: get strange.
Speaker 2: Jeffrey Dahmers, So the Blood You and the Bomber blowing
Speaker 2: up Waco, Texas and Heaven's Gates and Helius Modify.
Speaker 3: And then from Apes Hitler fixed.
Speaker 2: His death and then escaped, Big Butt and the moth Man,
Speaker 2: Son of Sam Talking to Talks Again, Witches Go, Saint
Speaker 2: Complin's Mysterious Noise and Hot Dings, Dark Guards and the
Speaker 2: scullt Bones.
Speaker 3: Most Clemti is a probably loan so when you're feeling.
Speaker 2: All alone, grabbing beer and get stone a welcome you
Speaker 2: to the podcast trained crew.
Speaker 3: We are here to entertain you.
Speaker 4: You.
Speaker 3: It's about three How much do you think Santa paid
Speaker 3: for a sleigh?
Speaker 1: I don't know how much.
Speaker 3: Nothing it was on the house.
Speaker 1: Okay, they're all dumb, but that was dumb, dumb. Welcome
Speaker 1: to the Strange Brew Christmas Special.
Speaker 3: And we're all fustive. And I got jingle and jingle.
Speaker 1: Balls, got jingle my balls and uh so we're we're
Speaker 1: at Yeah, we're attempting to film this right now. So
Speaker 1: this should be up on YouTube on the Strange Brew page.
Speaker 1: Uh but we'll see what happens in post edit.
Speaker 3: But we fucking sucks. It's a damn good chance. But
Speaker 3: we'll see what happens for the that's a lovely attitude
Speaker 3: you got there, all right.
Speaker 1: So I'm Tom Kat, your fucking host, and this is
Speaker 1: my other host, Bilbo Baggins.
Speaker 3: You gotta get back onto that.
Speaker 5: Just just write it like a list of one hundred
Speaker 5: names and every time to scratch it off.
Speaker 1: So I got I got eggnogging rum. I have some
Speaker 1: fucking whiskey. We have beer upstairs, we have a lot
Speaker 1: of drinking.
Speaker 3: Beer right now.
Speaker 5: But we're gonna, we're gonna work our way to ignog.
Speaker 5: I'm it's Christmas one, it's Christmas time, so you have
Speaker 5: to one. But I'm like severely lactose. So Billy stinks
Speaker 5: like am but it doesn't bother me any Like, it
Speaker 5: doesn't hurt my stomach.
Speaker 3: I don't really shit. I just fart and it's.
Speaker 5: Terrible, but like I love it, Like it's actually kind
Speaker 5: of funny to me. Yeah, we're gonna see how it does. Yeah,
Speaker 5: nobody else seems to enjoy it as much as I do.
Speaker 1: All right, so let's just get into it. Then, Christmas
Speaker 1: isn't all about jingle bells and jolly old Saint Nick.
Speaker 3: Yes it is.
Speaker 1: There are darker and figures looking about, and they don't
Speaker 1: always come from the North Pole. This week strange topic
Speaker 1: for the holiday season is Christmas creatures, monsters, and folklore.
Speaker 3: But but it's also kind of about the jingle bells
Speaker 3: and the Yeah. Yeah, well we'll get into it.
Speaker 1: But I just want to add this one because I
Speaker 1: mentioned it before, I think on last year's episode. But
Speaker 1: let's have a little sip of the egg nod way more.
Speaker 3: Ye, have anything you can.
Speaker 5: It's gonna be rough, like seven years down the road,
Speaker 5: trying to like come up with a new Christmas.
Speaker 3: Episode every time. Well, I I just someone pleased, like
Speaker 3: do like a mass killing or something on Christmas? So
Speaker 3: we have on top. We could always next days.
Speaker 1: Talk about Jesus for Christmas. You want the non existent
Speaker 1: profit or.
Speaker 3: Fucking Oh that that's a good topic.
Speaker 1: But so I want to add this one because I
Speaker 1: think it's fucked. But paintings often depict Saint Nicholas with
Speaker 1: three young boys standing inside of a barrel. But why Okay.
Speaker 1: According to the legends, three boys were playing in a
Speaker 1: field during harvest time. However, they wandered into the city
Speaker 1: and got lost, unable to make it home, and then
Speaker 1: they stopped at the butcher shop asking for food in
Speaker 1: a place to sleep.
Speaker 3: The butcher then murdered the three.
Speaker 1: Boys and put their bodies and a fucking put their
Speaker 1: dead bodies in a pickle barrel, pickling dead children. So
Speaker 1: and he was gonna, I guess, sell their meat on
Speaker 1: the market, because that happened back then. No, no, but
Speaker 1: then seven years later Saint Nicholas felt his soul felt
Speaker 1: the souls of the.
Speaker 3: Boys that took a long time there saying yeah.
Speaker 1: And knocked on the butcher's door and said open your
Speaker 1: pickle barrels, and then he said, rise up, children. Some
Speaker 1: accounts say he made the sign of the cross as
Speaker 1: he miraculously resurrected the boys. According to the French legend,
Speaker 1: the butcher then became Saint Nicholas's servant. Whoever, because it's legend,
Speaker 1: this is a legend, not actually historical fact.
Speaker 3: Versions may differ, not fucking historical.
Speaker 1: I never knew this, and like I knew about like
Speaker 1: him resurrecting bodies dead children, I knew about that, but
Speaker 1: I never knew the pickle barrel thing. And I guess
Speaker 1: people like hide a pickle in the Christmas tree because
Speaker 1: of this tradition.
Speaker 5: No way was that why people hide pickles.
Speaker 3: Because children got murdered. Then we'll see you. No, people
Speaker 3: hide other things in their Christmas tree too. What is it?
Speaker 3: It's not a pickle, their.
Speaker 1: Dick and that you got to find the guy standing
Speaker 1: with his dickeat. I don't know.
Speaker 3: How small of a person do you have?
Speaker 1: The whole sticks of the whole tree. And then someone's like,
Speaker 1: what is that?
Speaker 5: That's stupid that's to not see the body at all.
Speaker 5: He's like, I'm just gonna put this right.
Speaker 1: No, it's a billy, because then you can just hide
Speaker 1: behind the tree. No one can see the tree. All
Speaker 1: they see is the dick sticks, all right, So let's
Speaker 1: get in the next one. This one's kind of fucked up.
Speaker 1: Bell's nickel bells roughly translate as fur in German, and
Speaker 1: nickel refers to jolly old Saint Nicholas. So Bell's nickel
Speaker 1: is Saint Nicholas in fur or pelts. And this version
Speaker 1: from German folklore does indeed doil out the occasional gift
Speaker 1: like Santa Claus wood. He even carries a sackful of semen.
Speaker 1: I'm just joking, even carries a sack the story, he
Speaker 1: also carries a sack full of candy and nuts for
Speaker 1: good little children. That, however, is where Yeah, this is
Speaker 1: where the similarities end. Instead of a nice coat, Bell's
Speaker 1: nick's furs are grimy or sometimes just outright fucking dirty.
Speaker 5: Well that's that's a big thing too, right, Because Santa
Speaker 5: Claus didn't didn't down chimneys. No, but Santa Claus didn't
Speaker 5: look like Santa Claus until like, fuck, I want to say,
Speaker 5: like the late thirties, early forties, it was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you actually know who did that? Fuck, I'm surprised
Speaker 3: I remember that.
Speaker 5: You know who made Santa Claus like stop looking creepy
Speaker 5: and look like jolly and helpful?
Speaker 3: Was Coca Cola?
Speaker 5: Oh I knew they hired like an artist to be like,
Speaker 5: you need to promote this better because he looks fucking
Speaker 5: scared on our bill.
Speaker 1: Wasn't Santa Wasn't that assche with Christmas?
Speaker 3: Well? No, act well he was, but he was. He
Speaker 3: was terrifying looking like it was, here's Santa Claus and
Speaker 3: it's like, wow, I do not want him to come
Speaker 3: into my home. Please stay homeless, you fucking psychopath. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then you know a good old crampis beating the
Speaker 1: bad children, which you know this is kind of the
Speaker 1: same thing, so like this is kind of where the
Speaker 1: similarities end with him. You know, his code's dirty. And
Speaker 1: then while Saint Nicholas will just leave lump of cool
Speaker 1: for nine children, Bell's nick much like cramp, Bell's nickel,
Speaker 1: much like Crampis will whip the boys on their children
Speaker 1: on their backs with a switch.
Speaker 3: I like that version of Cramps. You're a bad fucking kid, like,
Speaker 3: come here.
Speaker 1: So a switch is a flexible rod typically used for
Speaker 1: corporate punishment. I had to look that up because I
Speaker 1: was like, what is the fucking who? What are you
Speaker 1: whipping with a switch? Is this like a dominatrix thing?
Speaker 5: Like so, like I thought a switch was just like
Speaker 5: a cop. Uh no, that's a fucking baton.
Speaker 3: There isn't a switch.
Speaker 1: A knife that's a switch blade.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. But you you're like, I'm gonna get
Speaker 3: them with my switch.
Speaker 1: Maybe, all right, Uh, let's go to the next one.
Speaker 1: Uh pre uh preach peach or tra petrata petrata, that's
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna call them. Oh, petretah is a dual
Speaker 1: gender gendered spirit, dual gender gender that's that's progressive, that's progressive.
Speaker 3: What year is this?
Speaker 1: I fucking no, ancient fucking bullshit like like this like
Speaker 1: this thirteen to like seventeen hundreds.
Speaker 5: It's just like any time this story came out of
Speaker 5: are like no, no, no, no, that's not real.
Speaker 3: The spirit may.
Speaker 1: Either appear as a beautiful woman or a haggard haggard.
Speaker 3: Corn corn corn, a haggard.
Speaker 1: Crone, like a cruel Karen. Why couldn't you just oh gendered, Well,
Speaker 1: it might turn to a man too. I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: why does the guy have to be likely looking? But
Speaker 1: you said, no, it's it's yeah, it's it's a beautiful woman.
Speaker 1: Or I think it contains to a man or a
Speaker 1: haggard crone, which is a fucking ugly old woman that
Speaker 1: beats her children names pizza kids.
Speaker 3: She would visit my name's crown.
Speaker 1: She would visit homes throughout the twelve days of Christmas
Speaker 1: and determine whether or not the children had misbehaved or
Speaker 1: behaved all year. If they had, she would leave them
Speaker 1: a little silver coin if they hadn't you know what
Speaker 1: this match.
Speaker 5: Would do for a silver coin? I guess actually back
Speaker 5: in that time, that was a huge gift. But this ditch,
Speaker 5: let me guess it's bad. Uh swirlies in the in
Speaker 5: the toilet. That was just a start, sir, is in
Speaker 5: the toilet. You make them go balled at eight and
Speaker 5: then you cut off, but you give them can and
Speaker 5: if you cut off and then you cut off his deck.
Speaker 1: Uh No, she actually, if they hadn't been good, she
Speaker 1: would slit open their bellies and remove their guts and
Speaker 1: then stuff them with like straws and pebbles.
Speaker 5: That's pretty much what I just said. Not really, what
Speaker 5: kind of swirlies did you get?
Speaker 3: You thought cramp was as bad?
Speaker 1: He may have drowned you in a bathtub that sounds
Speaker 1: peaceful with his pitch and then shoved straw and fucking
Speaker 1: stones into.
Speaker 5: Anyone who never watched that episode. Drags around a bathtub
Speaker 5: like one of those ancient bathtubs, Like it's a fucking
Speaker 5: huge like the one that are on legs, Like you know.
Speaker 3: What bathtubs I'm talking about.
Speaker 5: They're fucking like every grandma had them at one point
Speaker 5: in time before it became like a part of your thing.
Speaker 5: It's like when parents got divorced. I wanted to be like,
Speaker 5: I'm taking the fucking tub with me. I can't do
Speaker 5: that anymore.
Speaker 4: But yeah, this motherfucker straight up drag around one of
Speaker 4: them filled with water no less, like what did it
Speaker 4: just brest on his magical fucking anus, like just levitate
Speaker 4: there or like or he is ripped out of his
Speaker 4: fucking tree.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 1: I was gonna hit a bong hit on the podcast
Speaker 1: since it's been so long. A good old cheek and
Speaker 1: shog bong. Hopefully this goes on YouTube.
Speaker 3: In a lot of ways, you remind me of like
Speaker 3: a sixteen year old stone In kid that's like, I
Speaker 3: think I'm cool because I show what I do. Look
Speaker 3: at my or you're the guy on the fucking Facebook
Speaker 3: profile he's got a sixty and one hand and a
Speaker 3: fucking bb gun in the other.
Speaker 1: That's pretty much if you look at when I was fifteen,
Speaker 1: there's a picture of my Instagram and it's like me
Speaker 1: in front of the fucking mall and we we just.
Speaker 3: Stole like this with your buddy, and you're like.
Speaker 1: We just stole a fucking mickey and a twenty six
Speaker 1: or of fucking Yeah, we stole and during this time.
Speaker 3: That's pretty impressive. Went it was raining and we.
Speaker 1: Went and then it obviously cleared up because we have
Speaker 1: going up six when you're sixteen. But we went in
Speaker 1: there so we pretended that like we were waiting for
Speaker 1: somebody's ride. But this one kid, Gabe kept giving us
Speaker 1: away where he's like.
Speaker 3: Is your is your dad answering yeah, like they almost.
Speaker 1: Here, like just making it so obvious, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: shut the fuck up, And we snuck a twenty six
Speaker 1: er in a backpack and a mickey and then we
Speaker 1: drank outside the mall and then my mom showed up,
Speaker 1: but I was sitting in the food court and I
Speaker 1: was drunken.
Speaker 3: She did not like that. Yeah, so I think it's crazy.
Speaker 1: So like, it's obviously that's intense that uh Pete Tritah
Speaker 1: or whatever name is, that she's gonna slit your belly open.
Speaker 3: So at the time, is it Patricia, No, no, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: just making sure it's Petrata. I bet you it's Patricia.
Speaker 1: No, it's Petreta. It's not okay, right whatever.
Speaker 3: Think what you one thing? I just want you kind
Speaker 3: of I think it's Patria e r c ht A Pertra. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's that's different than what you were saying. I said,
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know. I don't know anyway.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so, like obviously kids would fucking fear Christmas if
Speaker 1: you were from wherever this is from. I didn't say,
Speaker 1: because most of them are German. This one didn't say
Speaker 1: where it was from. I would, I would guess something.
Speaker 5: You don't think they if they actually believed that, you
Speaker 5: don't think they'd fear Christmas as much as like, actually
Speaker 5: just be a fucking well behaved kid all year.
Speaker 3: I know, and that's what but I feel like, but
Speaker 3: even if you were a good kid.
Speaker 5: It'd be like was I good? Like I don't know,
Speaker 5: like how is she going to judge me? Like I did,
Speaker 5: like stay up a little late that one night I.
Speaker 1: Poured the whiskey on top of the fucking old egg nog.
Speaker 1: How my whiskey's like fucking gross looking?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so, and and I just think it's funny.
Speaker 1: I think we should bring that back, like like kids
Speaker 1: being afraid at Christmas but also very happy you get
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? If you've been bad, Uh.
Speaker 5: I don't think any of those kids are You're in
Speaker 5: a whipp I do not think any of those children
Speaker 5: were joyful. Actually no, they would have been fine because
Speaker 5: like kid about because you would have been young enough that,
Speaker 5: like you, when you're young enough right to like not
Speaker 5: really think about it until like you're four or five,
Speaker 5: and then it doesn't happen to you for two years,
Speaker 5: so you're fine.
Speaker 3: You're like anything I do, I'll be fine.
Speaker 1: I know, and then you still get your presence. That's
Speaker 1: why kids are fucking spoiled. But I I want to
Speaker 1: bring it back if I have kids all scare the
Speaker 1: ship out of it.
Speaker 3: Oh that's that's your turning point.
Speaker 5: There's a lot of things that parents do, but like
Speaker 5: Christmas presents, are you gotta gotta lay down the line.
Speaker 3: No Christmas And it's fucking bad you don't have kids.
Speaker 1: He's getting the shittiest president or she or whenever I
Speaker 1: have kids, If they are bad, they'll know it. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna dress up by crampis and scare the fucking
Speaker 1: ship out of them all this dragon.
Speaker 3: Bathroom, I'm gonna kids all right?
Speaker 1: Uh, Grilaila, how would you say this?
Speaker 3: G r y l Ala guy guy Laura from like
Speaker 3: so if I don't think anybody's actually going to be
Speaker 3: reiterating a story and be like it's gotta be green,
Speaker 3: we all.
Speaker 1: Have some fu angry fans from Iceland being like it's
Speaker 1: bronouncela Icelander.
Speaker 3: You are you guys?
Speaker 1: That tastes fucking weird because there's just just a little
Speaker 1: bit of eggnogging my whiskey.
Speaker 3: You think you think people are from Icelander sensitive. I
Speaker 3: don't want to don't put that in there. I do
Speaker 3: not want more. You just said, oh it tastes weird.
Speaker 3: I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I don't want more eggnog. I want I want to
Speaker 1: pure whiskey.
Speaker 3: She's like literally like a fucking like.
Speaker 1: Also, for all the listeners that are watching on the video,
Speaker 1: we have a gay little nutcracker and a hockey nutcracker.
Speaker 1: This guy is flamboyant fucking Freddy and this guy is uh.
Speaker 1: I hate fucking hockey. I don't care.
Speaker 3: Wayne Gretzky.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the biggest piece of ship. His dad just got wrong.
Speaker 5: I heard that by a by a fucking cop, no,
Speaker 5: a friend like, and it was a cop, of course,
Speaker 5: Brantford cops.
Speaker 3: Why we say fuck the poet. Like, so they're saying,
Speaker 3: they're saying, they were saying that.
Speaker 5: The news and I came home from working there and
Speaker 5: watching there they're talking about it, and the news ladies
Speaker 5: like and another news Walter Gretzky today got robbed by
Speaker 5: a close friend along with the Branford opp officer. And
Speaker 5: then in her same breath, in her exact same breath,
Speaker 5: goes uh. Waterloo Regions also looking for more donations towards
Speaker 5: their police force. And I was like, wow, you kind
Speaker 5: of just did a fucking stab on yourself there. You're like,
Speaker 5: look at this crooked cop, please give us money.
Speaker 1: So if you're living in uh, well, I think that's fun.
Speaker 1: I think that's fucked got fun. I was like, what
Speaker 1: Walter's the nice I hate hockey.
Speaker 3: He got a lot of mental ship, you.
Speaker 1: Know, because he praises his son. He's literally lived off
Speaker 1: of his son's fame. That's all he does is talking
Speaker 1: about his son.
Speaker 3: This guy.
Speaker 1: Okay, if you're a sports fan, if you know fucking
Speaker 1: hockey at all, you'll.
Speaker 3: Know who anyone who knows he comes.
Speaker 1: He comes from the city that like Billy used to
Speaker 1: live in.
Speaker 3: And I really good friends with his nephew too, of course.
Speaker 1: And then but Wayne Gretzey, you won't come to Branford.
Speaker 1: He'll stay somewhere else. If he's coming here to do something,
Speaker 1: he's come here.
Speaker 3: He has come here.
Speaker 1: But he won't stay in Branford because he fucking hates
Speaker 1: brandfand so. But like his dad is like a guy,
Speaker 1: you'll see him, Yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Do, right, you guys very postcards.
Speaker 1: No, I told my fucking I hate the sport that
Speaker 1: made you. There was never hockey, you wouldn't exist. Uh,
Speaker 1: if you're to get into the next greenlaw, that's what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call her. If you're a child living in Iceland,
Speaker 1: you've probably been warned about the legend of the Gila,
Speaker 1: the giantess to fucking giant who lives in the mountains
Speaker 1: and comes out of her caves in the wintertime searching
Speaker 1: for naughty little kids.
Speaker 3: Fucking anti hibernating cunt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know what, Kate, do you use that word
Speaker 1: fans good?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there was that one that didn't like Yeah,
Speaker 3: didn't like that. I said the word. I don't like
Speaker 3: what you said on your uncensored podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, says explicit on our ship.
Speaker 3: It's like, it's how many things did you listen to before?
Speaker 3: Like that, that's the one.
Speaker 5: It's like they can talk about like kids getting molested,
Speaker 5: and they can talk about kids getting murdered. Fuck who
Speaker 5: cares about like any any poor kids?
Speaker 3: Fuck them? But like I have, I have a cunt
Speaker 3: and that offends me.
Speaker 1: You should take your one ear out of the thing.
Speaker 1: Your not sticking up. We're also wearing like Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: There you go, there's Pokemon now beel he's got the lphat.
Speaker 1: I got a Santa hat. It's fun, it's fun Christmas times.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna gotta make a Christmas card again. You're ready, ready? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So so it comes out in the search for Naught
Speaker 1: of kids. When she finds them, she boils them up
Speaker 1: into a stew and devours them as a tasty snack.
Speaker 1: This is how people think, like, it's so joyous in
Speaker 1: the Christmas music, and I'm going to shop and spend
Speaker 1: billions of dollars. Not billions, I spend thousand dollars to
Speaker 1: get myself in it the debt over this holiday. But
Speaker 1: this holiday is literally based on somebody coming to take
Speaker 1: your naughty children and fuck it. But this, I feel
Speaker 1: like this is what they had to do, because back
Speaker 1: then your kids are like going outside and shoving sticks
Speaker 1: up each other's asses and then you're touching their tant
Speaker 1: and running away.
Speaker 3: That's what they're doing. I don't know that was that experience.
Speaker 3: I don't know. So you guys did, You're like, hey, Johnny,
Speaker 3: what do you want to do that? It's like, I
Speaker 3: don't know, Billy, what do you want to do? You
Speaker 3: want to go in the yard and sticks some sticks
Speaker 3: up OSSes?
Speaker 1: See, Okay, I just don't know what they did back then.
Speaker 3: What do you do? Just run around? Can we go
Speaker 3: to your house, it doesn't have a fence so everyone
Speaker 3: can see us, or like, what do you do, Hey,
Speaker 3: you want to go outside and build a snowman and
Speaker 3: say so fun it's it's green. It was not oh yeah,
Speaker 3: you're right.
Speaker 5: No, I don't look at snow green. Maybe, but it's
Speaker 5: not like, yeah, Greenland's the one that's always Icelandic.
Speaker 3: People. Let us know. Iceland is green and my buddy
Speaker 3: went to fucking Oh I fucking okay, what Iceland is
Speaker 3: green and Greenland's ice?
Speaker 1: I know, I know you heard that in school, but Dan,
Speaker 1: it's been this part. I'm sure he went to He
Speaker 1: went to Iceland and was fucking freezing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he probably went in winter time, all right, and
Speaker 3: it was prob're Icelandic.
Speaker 1: Please let us fucking know. So that's what I'm saying
Speaker 1: that Chris is based on. Like it's just fucked. Like
Speaker 1: it's based on all these monsters are fucked, and it's
Speaker 1: gonna get more fucked.
Speaker 3: So Grill, it's gonna get more fuck. Grilla is the
Speaker 3: mother twenty twenty Biden Christmas crampis you want to get
Speaker 3: sniff tonight?
Speaker 5: Oh dude, we should do targeted ads, just like just
Speaker 5: a bunch of Biden ones. I want to make them now,
Speaker 5: just a bunch of Christmas like cards. I'm gonna send
Speaker 5: them out to a bunch of people. And it's like
Speaker 5: sniffing of you tonight, because a bunch of puns like that.
Speaker 1: Here's a sniff for you, and it's someone holding the
Speaker 1: presents a sniff its.
Speaker 3: Nose and the box you are a sniff all right?
Speaker 1: Do that for Valentine's Day?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Do we need to put on a line of
Speaker 3: Biden cards? Yeah, I know, let's do it. We're gonna
Speaker 3: do it. Steal my idea. I'm probably not gonna follow
Speaker 3: through that. So if you steal it, fucking kudos. Can
Speaker 3: you just like put my name somewhere.
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll do this for like a festive thing, like
Speaker 1: to do episodes on festive times. But I also have
Speaker 1: a very fun Valentine's Day episode, so you prepare for that.
Speaker 3: So Grilla is the mother. I'm not coming over here
Speaker 3: on Valentine's No, it's gonna be on Valide. I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get my fucking dick cut.
Speaker 1: Yeah you should, it's healthy.
Speaker 3: No, No, you I met like cut off? You know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 5: Why use your dick getting cut off if I come
Speaker 5: over here on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't even understand.
Speaker 1: I was like, I thought that your girlfriend was gonna
Speaker 1: cut your dick off or like try to bite your
Speaker 1: foreskin off. So Grilla is the mother of the thirteen
Speaker 1: ule Lads who visits you know, the U lad that's like.
Speaker 3: Part of like the U Lads come around and no
Speaker 3: U lad is. They're like fucking what are you? They're like,
Speaker 3: are they just people? Are they a group of people
Speaker 3: like sing or something? You lads are? I was gonna
Speaker 3: bring down, like I like how it's quick you were?
Speaker 3: It's just like be like you don't know what I
Speaker 3: actually don't know what that is.
Speaker 1: I think I think they're just like elve kind of
Speaker 1: creatures kind.
Speaker 3: Of okay, I have no idea.
Speaker 1: They're like evil children creatures. That's like you know, Christmas
Speaker 1: Land and stupid news for atu.
Speaker 3: Uh So it's a good show.
Speaker 1: I finally watched it for all the fans that bit
Speaker 1: about it to watch a couple of I watched the
Speaker 1: whole the whole fourth season.
Speaker 3: Was not good. To watch the whole first season, well.
Speaker 1: I just wanted because I think, like, what is happening
Speaker 1: in this fucking show. Why these kids vampires in a
Speaker 1: Christmas Land? I don't understand. I still don't understand them
Speaker 1: on it, and you should like whatever.
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 1: But there's better shows, Bailey, there is better shows.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I also like porn hub porn hubs. Okay, yeah, good
Speaker 5: for the good for the Christmas holidays. Nothing like like
Speaker 5: lighting a couple of candles, get the fire going, light
Speaker 5: up your Christmas tree and just sit around the room
Speaker 5: with your family watching the Good Morning.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't you and your family every Christmas Eve put
Speaker 3: on as you guys watch?
Speaker 1: So the Yule lads who visit sleeping children on the
Speaker 1: thirteen nights before Christmas and some la legends, the lads
Speaker 1: who have the creepy names like meat hook and window
Speaker 1: Peeper are just as disgusting.
Speaker 3: Man, that's gonna be my stripper name onto the stage
Speaker 3: along with my girl. Okay, So here's a funny story too.
Speaker 3: We made a stripper joke a little while ago. I
Speaker 3: don't remember what episode of was on, but I said,
Speaker 3: Izzy is a gross name for a stripper? What so?
Speaker 3: And we started laughing and we're like and I was like, here.
Speaker 5: Comes Fizzyzyyah, and now it's I dated a girl name
Speaker 5: is now you're doing girl and I call her Izzy,
Speaker 5: So now it's Fizzy.
Speaker 3: Here's the couple Fizzy is he and me? What episode
Speaker 3: was that? That's so fun I don't know, but it
Speaker 3: made me cry and she heard do it and she
Speaker 3: got like she she actually thought it was fucking hilarious,
Speaker 3: which thank god, it's so funny, because what are the
Speaker 3: odds of that? What are the fun was?
Speaker 1: I feel like that was an episode that Justin was
Speaker 1: on when we were like getting pretty liquored up.
Speaker 5: Like we're still getting liquid up, so like no, we
Speaker 5: don't drink, so like.
Speaker 1: This is yeah, so it's kind of crazy that, Like
Speaker 1: so she's awful. She is fucking well, you know, like
Speaker 1: come out.
Speaker 3: In the streets. Wow, she's fucking Willie Nelson. She's awful.
Speaker 3: I said, you're like she she's fucking you know, you mubble.
Speaker 3: But it sounded just like really she.
Speaker 1: Like finds kids that are bad. She eats them, which
Speaker 1: is bad enough, so but these guys she finds the
Speaker 1: bad one laughs like meat Hook and window Peeper. I
Speaker 1: like window Peeper better.
Speaker 3: I like meat Hook Hook with me, he's got.
Speaker 1: A standing in your fucking window.
Speaker 5: He hooks the guy that like goes to hotels and
Speaker 5: stands at the end of the hall with a t
Speaker 5: bone steak on the end of a fishing line while
Speaker 5: he's lying down. And then as soon as someone goes
Speaker 5: to pick up the t bone steak, he's real.
Speaker 1: And it's like, so, why why Billy is gonna go
Speaker 1: with his stripper name meat hook is because his dick
Speaker 1: is shaped like a candy can.
Speaker 3: It could be just it goes all the way around
Speaker 3: and I pee, I'm literally like, like a fucking cur
Speaker 3: don't go all the way Yes they do, not all
Speaker 3: of them there, but they should the ones that the
Speaker 3: ones that don't have a dollar store one.
Speaker 1: So the gorilla Gorilla, Gorilla Gorilla appears for the first time.
Speaker 1: Oh and soorny Ster, listen pressda Eddie. I don't know
Speaker 1: that must be a place in Iceland.
Speaker 3: Guys name your place is much too long? Yes, very long.
Speaker 3: It's weird.
Speaker 1: But she didn't become associated with Christmas season until around
Speaker 1: the seventeenth century. By the time, kids were so terrified
Speaker 1: by the idea of her that the Icelandic government had
Speaker 1: to step in and ban the use of her legend
Speaker 1: as a parenting technique, because that's what it was. Instead,
Speaker 1: she was rebranded and presented in a way that has
Speaker 1: her spreading holiday cheer as the Yule lads.
Speaker 3: Now just leave rotten.
Speaker 1: Potatoes if you've been mishaving.
Speaker 3: But it's just like.
Speaker 1: Sarah, they're kids before, So now let's change her at.
Speaker 5: Least at least like raw potato is not bad. I'm like,
Speaker 5: I think, but you can make mashed, you can make
Speaker 5: French fries. If you had skill, you could make.
Speaker 1: I have kids, I'm gonna leave them rotten potatoes, rotten, rotten,
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna leave them there, and then they'll
Speaker 1: be like.
Speaker 3: What the fuck is this?
Speaker 1: I'm like, have you ever heard of the story of
Speaker 1: the gorilla and her utilized.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get you drunk and get you sterilized. I'm
Speaker 3: not taking the vaccination sterilized. Yeah, the vaccination was a
Speaker 3: sterilized forty of the population. Oh there's a fun fucking
Speaker 3: I've looked up a lot about that. Goddamn or not, We'll.
Speaker 1: Do a whole rand episode about the vaccination, because if
Speaker 1: you motherfuckers get it, you are dumb. People are all
Speaker 1: getting Bell's policy or whatever the ship's called, and their
Speaker 1: fucking face is all getting all fucked fucked up, So
Speaker 1: fuck that ship.
Speaker 3: Ah.
Speaker 1: So Pierre uh food tard, like this guy fo tard.
Speaker 1: It's literally what it is, fuel tard, fuel tar futard.
Speaker 3: That's a French name. I ever peer feud tard. It's
Speaker 3: it's guys. You make it so easy to make fun
Speaker 3: of you, why don't. Yeah, I have a hard time.
Speaker 3: I have a hard time not doing it. That's why.
Speaker 3: Like I am Pierre Feutard, and my father was Pere
Speaker 3: food trd and do we live a feu.
Speaker 6: Tard like and my my great great grandfather was He's
Speaker 6: fruit tard.
Speaker 3: And my my mother was also Pierre foods.
Speaker 6: We kept the same name in Pierre uncut penis.
Speaker 3: That's okay.
Speaker 1: Imagine if Santa Claus had a sidekick who traveled around
Speaker 1: with him beaten those who misbehave Christ and Grampus is
Speaker 1: kind of against like like Crampis is like his own
Speaker 1: thing in San Claus is his own thing. But like
Speaker 1: there was a lot of folklore and stories that where
Speaker 1: Christmas came from about like Santa Claus having like a
Speaker 1: slave and ship, So this is probably kind of one
Speaker 1: of Like.
Speaker 3: I said, he wasn't jolly until like the forties.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well and jolly old fucking France Saint Nicholas has
Speaker 1: Lee Pierre Futhard, whose name literally transit translates, please tell
Speaker 1: me to.
Speaker 3: Father whip all ship. Here comes father whipper. He doesn't
Speaker 3: mean father, it's it's p e r e pair pere
Speaker 3: pr father. That's okay, friend, I want to ask you
Speaker 3: fuck up.
Speaker 1: A lot of ship when it comes to languages on
Speaker 1: this podcast.
Speaker 3: Just deal with it.
Speaker 1: It's part of the fun, okay, sure enough. Food Tard
Speaker 1: roams around the northern France uh and and parts of
Speaker 1: France and Belgium, and with whip in hand to give
Speaker 1: lashings to the kids who don't get their act together. Hey, Johnny,
Speaker 1: I heard your masturbating to your fucking mother's nineteen twenty photo.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get a good whipping tonight.
Speaker 3: Boy. Maybe she was hot. You're just watching Bad Santa too.
Speaker 1: And he's like, uh, a kid told me that masturbating
Speaker 1: was when you touch her wee wee and think about
Speaker 1: your mother. And he's like, I can't think about my mom.
Speaker 1: She's in heaven looking.
Speaker 3: Down on me.
Speaker 1: It's is like bad Santuoe fucked. Yeah, so he's got
Speaker 1: whip in hand, which is crazy. So it is a
Speaker 1: lot of the Christmas creatures. The ancient shit it is.
Speaker 1: It's not even ancient. It's just like you know, back
Speaker 1: in the day, like in the seventeen sixteen thirty century
Speaker 1: it is. It is more like punishment. It's like you'll
Speaker 1: get like a cool shitty wooden toy that you can
Speaker 1: just pull around and it like kind of moves its
Speaker 1: head up and down like a duck or something.
Speaker 3: Well, you wouldn't even get that half the time, like
Speaker 3: more like maybe in the rich countries. But like like
Speaker 3: I said, yeah, what my mom, I got you shoes.
Speaker 1: And they're just like a piece of like wool stitch
Speaker 1: together that you.
Speaker 3: Can kind of know you didn't even get that, you
Speaker 3: like my mom.
Speaker 5: Like even so, the only two stories I know from
Speaker 5: this sumer my mom that came from Mexico look extremely poor.
Speaker 5: And then I'm living with my girlfriend's grandfather right now,
Speaker 5: and so he tells me stories and stuff, and fuck,
Speaker 5: if you have a chance to listen to old people talk,
Speaker 5: do it. They're fucking hilarious and they don't mean to be.
Speaker 5: But Anyways, he was like, yeah, it's like we used
Speaker 5: to get it. Like uh, He's like, we get a
Speaker 5: bag full of oranges and pairs and stuff, and my
Speaker 5: mom would get one kid out of the nine. One
Speaker 5: kid out of the nine would get chosen each year
Speaker 5: like random name out of the hut and that one
Speaker 5: kid will get one can of pop and everybody else
Speaker 5: would get nothing.
Speaker 1: That sounds horrible, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: That was what Christmas was. It was like somebody gets
Speaker 3: a can of pop. Today it was like a lottery
Speaker 3: every fucking Christmas.
Speaker 1: Because they're just building ship and there's like obviously no
Speaker 1: TV and and and xboxes and stuff. So they like
Speaker 1: it's like Daddy made you a sled and it's like
Speaker 1: the most rickety piece of shiit die on the way down.
Speaker 3: It's like, well, that's like the third kid of Daddy
Speaker 3: is also fucking blind. There's a third kid to die
Speaker 3: this year.
Speaker 1: We're making progress, Like it's okay, we still got the
Speaker 1: Johnny and we got the Genie.
Speaker 3: That's an old dolls were a huge thing, right to
Speaker 3: those dolls and.
Speaker 1: A ship dolls and stuff. How do they make those
Speaker 1: things back then? Is that around something's been around for
Speaker 1: like no, but like to make them how they don't
Speaker 1: have like the chucky mold where they like it's in
Speaker 1: the factory and they're making chucky in the So the
Speaker 1: legend of the Futar dates back to at least the
Speaker 1: twelfth century. That's fucking old. And it's a tale about
Speaker 1: an innkeeper, possibly a butcher, depending on the version of
Speaker 1: the tales you read.
Speaker 3: And maybe this is the guy that Santa Claus resurrected
Speaker 3: the boys. Oh it is, it is. It's the same
Speaker 3: one who murders and robs three little boys on their
Speaker 3: way to a religious It's the same kids, all right.
Speaker 1: Yeah so yeah, after killing them and stilling them money,
Speaker 1: the innkeeper and his wife would chop up the boys
Speaker 1: into bits and make stew out of them and hide
Speaker 1: the evidence. Oh we're supposed to do. We're supposed to
Speaker 1: do that sound effect after your dad jokes. And I
Speaker 1: did never remember he's killing himself. You always pess the
Speaker 1: wrong button.
Speaker 3: I don't know what any of them too.
Speaker 1: I was justa stop pressing the button that was like
Speaker 1: the perfect one day. And yeah so when then, wait,
Speaker 1: Saint Nicholas supposedly figured out what happened he resurrected the
Speaker 1: boy and the innkeeper, whose name was was Foo. Tard
Speaker 1: repents his sins and Santa annoints him and then they
Speaker 1: join each other on a journey each December sixth and
Speaker 1: for Tard is usually betrayed as a fair a fairly
Speaker 1: dark and sinistering appearance, which is no surprised, unkempt ruggie
Speaker 1: with long beard, and he carries a whip or a
Speaker 1: switch to flog naughty children.
Speaker 3: Just do you imagine not being part of you every day?
Speaker 5: Like you know, when you leave the hoster like keys
Speaker 5: phone wallet, he's like his phone wallet switch.
Speaker 1: Where's my fucking whips?
Speaker 3: His girlfriend gets some of Christmas gift. It's like the
Speaker 3: most dominatrix fucking whip ever.
Speaker 1: He's like upgrading, no, and it's gotta be like especially
Speaker 1: because it's Christmasy, he's gonna have a bunch of lights
Speaker 1: around it where it just frames the whip and then
Speaker 1: he kind of grabs it out of there. Every year
Speaker 1: and he's like, it's time, my old friend for another
Speaker 1: year of punishing. All right, Mah Marie lude Loud, It's
Speaker 1: come on with these names. Man, It's m A r
Speaker 1: I Mary Mary l w y d l w y d.
Speaker 3: Oh friend l w luid, Mary Lude married Lude.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm gonna say. As if you weren't scared enough,
Speaker 1: here comes a Welsh skeleton horse spirit.
Speaker 3: You know what the buttons meaning. That's not Christmas skeleton.
Speaker 5: I just want to see like a up horse skeleton on.
Speaker 5: I don't know what no make anymore?
Speaker 1: Uh So Mary lewd or why fairy luid is a
Speaker 1: in Welsh is a customer which people will visit your homes,
Speaker 1: will carrying a horse skull that has been decked with
Speaker 1: decked out during the holidays, like ribbons, bells and and
Speaker 1: a sheet to give the whole affair a ghostly appearance.
Speaker 3: What is wrong with I guess Welsh isn't no, but
Speaker 3: if you're making Christmas decoration, Okay, I'm not saying.
Speaker 1: Kill Welsh people in Britain right there's people that are Welsh.
Speaker 3: Or like, yeah, I'm terrible geography, but I'm a geography.
Speaker 1: There's no place called Welsh or Welshin or Welsh people.
Speaker 3: British people Welsh.
Speaker 1: I don't care anymore.
Speaker 3: All British people are No, that's not no.
Speaker 1: There's like a certain part of Britain.
Speaker 3: That's like Welsh. Sure, that's right. I don't know that's
Speaker 3: that sounds about right anyways.
Speaker 5: No, but it makes sense because like I'm not saying,
Speaker 5: like kill the horse, but like if the horse is
Speaker 5: already dead, use its pieces. Yeah, like you use its
Speaker 5: skull for creepy decorations.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, damn son, where'd you find this? It
Speaker 3: was on the side of the dad. Yeah. I founded
Speaker 3: a little old whole skulk. I was just mone of
Speaker 3: my own business, fucking of skunk. And when I saw
Speaker 3: this dead horse, I think that's super weird.
Speaker 1: So the mary Leude Troupe will engage the owner in
Speaker 1: battle of versus or insults. This is dope and whoever
Speaker 1: is like the Cleverest with their rhymes. They're allowed in
Speaker 1: for drinks and food.
Speaker 3: It's a free style rink. Crazy so and I do say,
Speaker 3: sir that you're just called out here. And if I
Speaker 3: may say so, I want to have a beer.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think he's like it all says a battle
Speaker 1: of insults, Like, it's a battle of insults.
Speaker 3: Look at the person. You're like, you lanky, brown eyed,
Speaker 3: your fucking teeth would make a hell of a mess
Speaker 3: up a copper corn. Yes, fucking mean ass old people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so like, and I think that's funny. When I
Speaker 1: was look at some of those hilarious that they would
Speaker 1: like spit rhymes to each other. I don't think your door,
Speaker 1: Oh sh it looked like your wife's the hole. She
Speaker 1: is back there with Santa Claus. She's got our hands
Speaker 1: all over his bouth.
Speaker 3: No, I don't think that's what it was. I think
Speaker 3: the way you read it was it's either like rhymes
Speaker 3: rhymes like poetry, or whoever can just straight up this
Speaker 3: the other person. The rhyme part's not in the thing,
Speaker 3: don't It was just whoever can make the other person
Speaker 3: feel terrible about themselves. You're not just rhy It looks like.
Speaker 1: He's gonna grow up to murder like twelve people.
Speaker 3: Bet that's where your mom jokes came from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know these people knock each other's door
Speaker 1: looking back and be like your mom so fat? When though,
Speaker 1: when I'm trying to think of a horse and carriage
Speaker 1: fat jokes.
Speaker 3: Like, why was that so funny? Everyone knows that your
Speaker 3: mom's so fat. She wakes up on both sides of
Speaker 3: the best. Remember your mama? Yeah, I loved it. It
Speaker 3: was hilarious time.
Speaker 1: So like it was the cleverest rhyme, and they were
Speaker 1: allowed in for drinks and foods and they're supposed to
Speaker 1: be this the creature that originates from would scare away
Speaker 1: anything unwanted from the year. So it's kind of like
Speaker 1: a good thing. Even if the owner wins the verse battle,
Speaker 1: they still let in the people for you know, for
Speaker 1: a drink and outh covid. You can't do that, but O,
Speaker 1: I feel like that'd be fun. If somebody comes over
Speaker 1: he like knocks the door. I never answered my door
Speaker 1: if I don't know who he is.
Speaker 3: So yeah, you're extremely fucking petrified of the world.
Speaker 1: No, I know, I just I don't trust Branford. I
Speaker 1: don't trust who's coming to my door if I don't
Speaker 1: know im. You Devin texts me that you're coming to
Speaker 1: my door, Like not you. I know when you're coming.
Speaker 3: No, you don't.
Speaker 5: I've plenty of times been knocking on that door, going
Speaker 5: fucking open. You're gone, I'm probably down here doing something.
Speaker 3: U you know, you hear it and you go, I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna. I'm not gonna. Pizza guy he ordered fucking
Speaker 3: pizza today. Pizza Guy knocks on the door. I was like,
Speaker 3: was that not the door. He's like yeah, but I'll
Speaker 3: wait till he leaves, and I'm like, why last time
Speaker 3: I scared the share of the guy and then he
Speaker 3: knocked again. He's like, are you I can hear you talking.
Speaker 3: I know you know I'm here. Do you want your
Speaker 3: pizza please? I know?
Speaker 1: Uh so whatever? Fuck last time I like, I was
Speaker 1: like he knocked, I open it like instantly, and he
Speaker 1: got one like this and I was like, oh, sorry, Bud.
Speaker 3: Because you're are because you were probably literally standing with
Speaker 3: your hand on a fucking knob he knocked, and you
Speaker 3: fucking whipped open the door. I'd lose my shit.
Speaker 1: So so, like many uh other creatures on this episode,
Speaker 1: Mary Lud's origins or lost, though, there's a long history
Speaker 1: of white horses in British folklore. With horses themselves, they
Speaker 1: represent power and fertility and why does everything have to
Speaker 1: be about fertility? Easter is about fucking, Christmas is about fucking.
Speaker 1: The evergreen is a representation of fertility, That's what it is.
Speaker 3: And in the East, the bunny is a.
Speaker 1: Representation of fucking, fucking, fucking as much as a jack
Speaker 1: rabbit and it's all about fucking having kids to and
Speaker 1: then now they're gonna give us a vaccination that kills
Speaker 1: off half of us, and then who knows.
Speaker 3: The Evergreen might mean that, but that's not why it
Speaker 3: was related with Christmas. Fuck it is. I've looked at it. No,
Speaker 3: it is like I, okay, it could be that as well.
Speaker 3: It could be that as well. It is, but the
Speaker 3: Prince Charles originally brought the Evergreen in for a separate reason.
Speaker 3: And I can't remember Charles. Yeah, you can think fucking pedophile.
Speaker 3: You can thank Prince Charles reptilian pedal. You can thank
Speaker 3: Prince Charles for the.
Speaker 1: That guy fucking dead yet, why that guy's a fucking
Speaker 1: reptilian if anyone's.
Speaker 3: Reptilian, and Jesus Christ, he's the creepiest. This is in
Speaker 3: the eighteen hundreds. Prince Charles exists. Now also Prince Charles
Speaker 3: in the eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 1: All right, you know how many by google billy stupid facts.
Speaker 1: We're not looking this up. So they let's get in
Speaker 1: the Yule cat, the the the jacka chocolate jacquolad. I
Speaker 1: think it's something like that. It's fucking Icelandic again. They
Speaker 1: have crazy fucking sayings. It's the jacot is would you
Speaker 1: like chocolate? It's just chocolate.
Speaker 3: No, it's all long.
Speaker 1: Is the Icelandic yule cat A yule cat, kitty Christmas kitty?
Speaker 3: Fucking hey cats man stupid, but it's not a nice cat,
Speaker 3: none of them are. In fact, he might eat you,
Speaker 3: and all of them will.
Speaker 1: This character is tied to an Icelandic tradition in which
Speaker 1: those who finish all their work on time receive new
Speaker 1: clothes for Christmas, while those who are lazy, like Mexicans
Speaker 1: do not. Although that was inaccurate statement. I know they're hardworking.
Speaker 3: No, you gotta like, you gotta pick on like a race.
Speaker 3: It's actually lazy like Greek people.
Speaker 1: Who were just jokeing ins all jokes don't get offended police,
Speaker 1: while those who were lazy.
Speaker 5: Honestly, sorry, Americans, I know most of you or everyone's different,
Speaker 5: but as a country, y'all kind of would be on
Speaker 5: the lazier side of the skale.
Speaker 3: And that's just kind of fact. Yep.
Speaker 1: To encourage children to work hard, parents told them that
Speaker 1: the yule cat, saying that it would come after them
Speaker 1: and could tell who lazy children were because they did
Speaker 1: not have at least one item of clothing for Christmas.
Speaker 1: These are just poor parents that are like.
Speaker 3: You were lazy. You only picked seventeen thousand pounds of
Speaker 3: fruit this year. We expected nineteen thousand. We've done. That
Speaker 3: is way under the mark. So you'll get those clothes.
Speaker 3: So you're fucking now this year you're picking fruit. Fucking nude.
Speaker 3: How thatd her? There Johnny Applesey fucking carry on.
Speaker 1: And then there's Joe Biden just creeping over the fence
Speaker 1: being like and these children would be sacrifice to the
Speaker 1: mule cat if they were not good.
Speaker 3: Marry Christmas. H h they would be a mule coat
Speaker 3: for ones.
Speaker 1: No one wants the goats. You're gonna get fucked by
Speaker 1: a Middle Eastern dude one day.
Speaker 3: Damn.
Speaker 5: Sorry, I don't think this from what I said earlier,
Speaker 5: and now that is definitely not gonna last long on YouTube.
Speaker 3: So catch it if you can, like covid, Uh, this
Speaker 3: gotta catch them all. Get some sas, get some covid.
Speaker 3: Would those next this role? That could be an awesome parody. Anyways,
Speaker 3: here on.
Speaker 1: This reminder tends to spur children into doing their chores.
Speaker 1: A poem is written about the cat that ends with
Speaker 1: a suggestion that children help out the needy so they
Speaker 1: too have protection of new clothing. It is no wonder
Speaker 1: Icelanders put in more overtime at work than most Europeans.
Speaker 3: Damn son, where'd you find this? Yar? Yah?
Speaker 5: Isn't isn't Europe's I might be wrong, isn't isn't Europe's? Like,
Speaker 5: I know Sweden has this, but doesn't most of Europe
Speaker 5: like shorter work weeks. I feel like your Europe's work
Speaker 5: weeks are like quite like thirty hours.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they get that.
Speaker 3: I might be wrong. Was like that too.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's Sweden.
Speaker 3: Well that's well Sweden, I know, is that? But you
Speaker 3: just said I thought they're they're like, they're like, I
Speaker 3: don't know. That might be why? Yeah, I don't know though.
Speaker 1: All right, let's getting the Hans Troup. Can you tell
Speaker 1: where he's from?
Speaker 3: Hans trop star wars No, he's.
Speaker 1: Actually France, from France. I thought it was fucking German
Speaker 1: because his name is Hans and and Alask in Lorraine, France.
Speaker 1: Hans Trap is all French. I know. I fucking hate
Speaker 1: French people. Just joking, you're probably you're probably cool. I
Speaker 1: just don't like your language, and they made me fucking
Speaker 1: learn it in school and I never was good at
Speaker 1: it and I hated it.
Speaker 3: And plus there's a little resentment there too because we
Speaker 3: live in Canada, so like Quebec is its own thing.
Speaker 3: And like the way they treat you, like you can
Speaker 3: walk in so fucking polite.
Speaker 5: Like they'll say bonger and you're like, I'm I'm sorry,
Speaker 5: Like I'll say bonzer back even and they can tell
Speaker 5: how bad I butchered.
Speaker 3: It, and they'll like, nope, I fucking hate it.
Speaker 5: This is ridiculous, No, I Like, I went when I
Speaker 5: was driving back from New Brunswick last time, I stopped
Speaker 5: off at the gas station and this girl was playing
Speaker 5: fucking Eminem in the guy there is like a fifty
Speaker 5: year old woman and I went she was like and
Speaker 5: I was like, uh cis Like I just didn't want
Speaker 5: to her to hate me because I so I didn't.
Speaker 5: I just pretended I didn't talk.
Speaker 3: And I went, ah, Eminem and she went on it
Speaker 3: rant in French and I didn't know a fucking word
Speaker 3: of what she said. And the entire time I'm going, yeah, ah,
Speaker 3: just go for French people. She loved me, and then
Speaker 3: I left and that was the only nice interaction I've
Speaker 3: ever had because I pretended like I knew what she
Speaker 3: was saying.
Speaker 1: This goes for a bunch of different people that like
Speaker 1: speaking different languages. It's like when you go to convenience
Speaker 1: store and they're fucking speaking in Chinese.
Speaker 3: Right in front of you, and it's just like it's
Speaker 3: super fucking stupid.
Speaker 1: White boy fucking buying Eminem's like, it's just like they
Speaker 1: just they're probably making fun of us.
Speaker 3: But I want to learn every language just to that
Speaker 3: would take you years.
Speaker 1: Billy so Hanks trap Is is a Christmas boogieman that
Speaker 1: parents invoke to encourage good behavior, like all these fucking
Speaker 1: monsters among their offspring. While this legend or orinate or
Speaker 1: originates in the fifteenth century, where Hans Troup was a
Speaker 1: rich and greedy man who is said to worship Satan.
Speaker 3: My homeboy, the main man in power. He's the good guy.
Speaker 1: Okay when the Catholic Church, that's what they wanted. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what the church wants you to think.
Speaker 3: Church, what you want to think?
Speaker 1: Fucking you know, Satan has been the biggest spokes guy
Speaker 1: for the church. Everyone goes to church, but state man
Speaker 1: gotta go pray. When the Catholic church learn what Haunts
Speaker 1: was up to, and they communicated him and his neighbors excommunicated.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and his neighbors being executed.
Speaker 1: No, excommunicate. That means like you're cut from this place.
Speaker 1: You can't funk go over here anymore. You can't stand
Speaker 1: on this lane no more. So that he got banned,
Speaker 1: you got excommunicated. They don't communicate. You can't talk over
Speaker 1: to me. You can't you get talk to me, Santa. Sorry,
Speaker 1: hits Santa. I got Santa flying like.
Speaker 3: His beard it's too flappy, it's too curled. Okay, someone
Speaker 3: curling iron.
Speaker 1: If you're listening to wont the we're talking about, let's
Speaker 1: get back.
Speaker 3: So then.
Speaker 1: When the Catholic's learning that Haunts he was excommunicated. When
Speaker 1: the neighbors, his neighbors to the north, north south, everyone
Speaker 1: just ostracized him, okay, and like they just like they
Speaker 1: told him the funk off and eventually his wealth. He
Speaker 1: he ended up like because he got ostracized and because
Speaker 1: he was such an evil man supposed to be, he
Speaker 1: fled into the woods. Last picture of this guy's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's like running into the woods, like pennyless, like no money.
Speaker 3: He's like, I don't want to go anymore. Everyone's doesn't
Speaker 3: like me living.
Speaker 1: I'm not like there, living alone on a mountain and
Speaker 1: angry at the loss of his fortune, he descended into madness.
Speaker 3: And one day, yeah, I'd be pretty fucking pissed too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And one day he attacked a young boy who
Speaker 1: wandered near his shack. Yeah, because he lived in a
Speaker 1: shack like hagrid fucking the boy stupid and it's not
Speaker 1: even his fault.
Speaker 3: He chopped up the boy. Yep, sucks to be that
Speaker 3: boy past.
Speaker 1: Him over a fire, but before he could take a bite.
Speaker 3: He walked across the wrong man shack. Motherfucker. All right,
Speaker 3: so he's got He chopped.
Speaker 1: Up this boy, he roast him over the fire, and
Speaker 1: before he could take a bite. What do you think happened?
Speaker 1: Something unbelievable.
Speaker 3: Oh, the boy comes back to life.
Speaker 1: A bolt of like lightning struck on, killing him instantly.
Speaker 1: He killed the kid, He made him in a stew
Speaker 1: when as soon as he's gonna fucking eat him, that's
Speaker 1: when God strikes you down.
Speaker 3: Really like he gets hip, I was too far. Well,
Speaker 3: you might as well make him like why put the
Speaker 3: boy away. The boy needed to die anyway, So he
Speaker 3: had the boy dead and everything. And then and then
Speaker 3: when he's like, look at all that work he just
Speaker 3: did and fucking dead.
Speaker 1: So since that time he serves as a warning to
Speaker 1: back kids, watch out or Hans Troup.
Speaker 3: Will to eat you. Really you're promoting a cannibal right now. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's what they know. But that's what they're doing. Like
Speaker 3: they're just like my Jeffrey.
Speaker 1: Dahmer should be on a can of soup. I think
Speaker 1: that would be appropriate.
Speaker 3: That's gonna be good, like so many health concerns.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when we when we talk about fucking h Robert
Speaker 1: good Fd eventually getting Robert Pitching. That's out in b
Speaker 1: C or whatever. Right, he sold fucking human meat for a.
Speaker 3: Bit, and we've already and the cops talked about a
Speaker 3: lot of people have done that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not to the extent, but Schwartz Pierre about SWATSI
Speaker 1: about the Hamburger guy. Oh yeah he did do that,
Speaker 1: but they didn't know how much he sold. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: he had a stand that one episodes, Fuck the Hamburger killer,
Speaker 1: fucking one Hamburger human killer.
Speaker 3: He just made a bunch of Swatz Pierre swats Peed
Speaker 3: Oh my god, why are they all French? Like we
Speaker 3: need some diversity. Where's this is from the Netherlands.
Speaker 1: He's not from French.
Speaker 3: Netherlands aka.
Speaker 1: Talked about black Pete man, me and you have talked
Speaker 1: about this together off the podcast with Pete. Remember the
Speaker 1: people celebrate and they put on black face.
Speaker 3: It's not appropriate. It's not appropriate anymore.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 1: Swatspierre aka Black Peter, who hails from the Netherlands, is
Speaker 1: one of Saint Nicholas's helpers. He accompanies Santa on Christmas
Speaker 1: Eve with toy He's on a toy mission to give.
Speaker 3: The boy little toys. But there is a spirit. Uh.
Speaker 1: But he also like kind of does away with bad children.
Speaker 1: If necessary, he gives presents, but he's kind of like
Speaker 1: if Sam's like, there's just that these five thousand kids
Speaker 1: that just need to be need to be taught a lesson.
Speaker 1: And Swatzpierre is like black pizez like I.
Speaker 3: Got you, saying I got you, I got I have
Speaker 3: a good boy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so uh, if if necessary, he will do this.
Speaker 1: But according to lore, he originates on a ship from Spain,
Speaker 1: so some regard him as somewhat pirate, like legend has.
Speaker 3: It because he's on fucking ship all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: Neither pirate just because I'm uncut all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: Not French you are?
Speaker 1: Are you sure you're not French? I wonder when Mexicans
Speaker 1: do their dicks that cut them in the crowns. Look
Speaker 1: at it.
Speaker 3: It's nice in it's nice. I'm like, literally, like that
Speaker 3: that's got it. That's that's Indians for sure, Native Americans
Speaker 3: or Indian Indians, Indian Indians. I wouldn't call Native Americans Indians.
Speaker 1: Want always does and I'm like, fucking crazy, fucking Americans.
Speaker 3: No Indian people like that's always like there's top of
Speaker 3: the line stuff. Oh my god. Actually, you know what's
Speaker 3: kind of cool.
Speaker 5: Here's a just because we talked about this, I never
Speaker 5: think I've get a chance to talk about this again.
Speaker 5: My girlfriend's boss is Indian, and uh well he's from
Speaker 5: Kuwaid anyway. But like the way he talks about like
Speaker 5: what clothing lines are. He's like, I come here and
Speaker 5: he's like, I pay one hundred and forty dollars for
Speaker 5: a T shirt because he goes like the most expensive
Speaker 5: places and he's like, it's fucking it's garbage.
Speaker 3: He's like, it's garbage. This is garbage clothing.
Speaker 5: He's like, I go back home, I pay fifty dollars
Speaker 5: and I get like nice clothes that lasts me my lifetime.
Speaker 3: Like they're like fresh and like those stupid true religion.
Speaker 3: It's no nos a pair of not like that. No,
Speaker 3: he goes like, like nice clothing.
Speaker 1: He's true religion. You guys are all fucking.
Speaker 3: He'll be like your your suit store suck.
Speaker 5: He's like, all the suits are garbage here, every seats
Speaker 5: garbage is like, go to India, pay third of the price,
Speaker 5: gets suit way better, all right, Like that's weird.
Speaker 3: I was like I kind of want to go buy
Speaker 3: my clothes. All right.
Speaker 1: So the legend has it that Black Peat's job specifically
Speaker 1: was Carrie do carry naughty children off in a sack?
Speaker 1: The legend of the sack so like after like he
Speaker 1: empties the toys for all the good children, He's got
Speaker 1: this big empty sack.
Speaker 3: So this is where time of fucking killed the fucking kids.
Speaker 3: All right, look at that, it's oh five pass, let's
Speaker 3: murder some little fuckers.
Speaker 1: Black Beat as whoever increasingly controversial figure. The issue stems
Speaker 1: from his appearance which is undeniably and disturbing. Bit of
Speaker 1: a bit of the black face, they say, a bit
Speaker 1: of the black face.
Speaker 3: Okay, so he's white, but he's just painted.
Speaker 1: But he has soot. It's like Chimney said, And and
Speaker 1: then people in people in the Netherlands, they they dress
Speaker 1: up and they put black face on and they dance
Speaker 1: around the streets and stupid costumes and that the one
Speaker 1: black guy in Netherlands is like, it's like, what the fuck.
Speaker 3: I came here? He said it was cool. So like
Speaker 3: I talked to every one of you.
Speaker 1: It's a bit of the black face, as they say,
Speaker 1: so swats Preer are black. Pete defenders claim that he
Speaker 1: only looks that way because he's covered in soot and
Speaker 1: coming down from so many chimneys, but the argument, frankly does.
Speaker 3: Not hold up.
Speaker 1: But that that is what that is, though, Like that
Speaker 1: is like never they got mad at Mary Poppins. I
Speaker 1: said this in an episode because it no, it's Mary.
Speaker 1: Because he's dancing around he looks like they but they
Speaker 1: that was me. See in that movie, it does look
Speaker 1: like they're covered in soot, like it does. It does
Speaker 1: like it just looks like they're just covered in like black, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can argue whatever you want, but it does look
Speaker 1: like they just came down from a chimney. But the
Speaker 1: people that there's some people and you can look up
Speaker 1: pictures of Swatspierre or whatever. Yeah, and and it it
Speaker 1: looks like a stereotypical, like drawing up a black person
Speaker 1: and then fucking nineteen seven, like nineteen fucking seventeen.
Speaker 3: Well, look you're a Canadian leader, even dressed I know
Speaker 3: to play Aladdin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've said that I did it when I
Speaker 1: was twelve because they thought it, said it would be funny.
Speaker 3: Remember I was in I dressed, I was everybody did that.
Speaker 1: I'll try to find that picture because for one show,
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be an Indian dude. And Paul
Speaker 1: the Barber a guy that in the town. Everyone called
Speaker 1: him Paul the Barber. Be's an actor and we did
Speaker 1: no sex please were British and I was just helping
Speaker 1: back to sex please were British. Yeah, it's a it's
Speaker 1: a play from Britain that sounds said it's a funny.
Speaker 3: My mom was I can't wait till I'm gonna look
Speaker 3: up that play. I really want to know.
Speaker 1: My mom was a Swedish prostitute in that fucking play
Speaker 1: and then and and she did like try to do
Speaker 1: a Swedish accent. It's pretty funny. But so I was
Speaker 1: like twelve, and I was like just like back up
Speaker 1: in the back and like helping them do prop stuff.
Speaker 1: And then there's like, oh, it'll be funny, like if
Speaker 1: you and Paul came out as like Indian and this
Speaker 1: is like the early two thousands, so like yeah, it's
Speaker 1: bad enough, but it's still it's indifferent, but again it's
Speaker 1: and then I just came out. I was like coming
Speaker 1: and I just like like pushed out a thing and
Speaker 1: I had a little my I had long hair, so
Speaker 1: they put my head in like a type yellow tighte
Speaker 1: bun and I didn't I was like, this is kind
Speaker 1: of funny, Like I didn't think about it, and like,
Speaker 1: don't fucking judge me. I was twelve and they told
Speaker 1: me it would be funny, and I just wanted to
Speaker 1: go on stage one day and then somebody said this
Speaker 1: isn't appropriate, and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then that's it.
Speaker 5: It's it's now, it's done because like so there are
Speaker 5: millions of million the people that are using it for
Speaker 5: like just genuine humor that it's like, hah, that is funny,
Speaker 5: and like people love it too, Like honestly, I know
Speaker 5: like stereotypes men, dude, I do. I serve a lot
Speaker 5: of people, right, so I serve all ethnicities, and every
Speaker 5: single fucking time I serve a Chinese family, I go, oh,
Speaker 5: it's good, eh, and like they always fucking laugh every time.
Speaker 3: They always think it's fun. People have a good uh
Speaker 3: sense of you when it comes to white people because
Speaker 3: they always think it's fucking funny. They always laughing, oh yeah,
Speaker 3: good and oh my god, so like like but like
Speaker 3: it's it's the as long as you do it to
Speaker 3: them and they know you're wholesome about it, like it's funny.
Speaker 3: But like a couple of people don't. And now that
Speaker 3: whole it's like it's kind of sad that you can't
Speaker 3: do that anymore. Like we've said, it's like that's a
Speaker 3: genuine thing. I connect with these people making jokes.
Speaker 1: I know, it's I know it's different because we're white.
Speaker 1: And now I doesn't want to fucking they always want
Speaker 1: to like like white people can't do this or that,
Speaker 1: and I understand, and I just want to and I
Speaker 1: like you said the podcast before. I I have fucking
Speaker 1: like Jamaican family. I love everybody. I've had fucking friends
Speaker 1: over all spectrums of the colors, just fucking saying that,
Speaker 1: like we're just joking, that's all it is. It's not
Speaker 1: meant to be anything harmful, but.
Speaker 3: I know it's it just sucks because we were the oppressors,
Speaker 3: so it does suck. It's so we're for the most part,
Speaker 3: it was US Spanish nine times out of ten it
Speaker 3: was US anyways, but it wasn't me. Here's my family.
Speaker 3: Funny little side story. My boss told me the other
Speaker 3: day he used to work at a TV store back
Speaker 3: when like audio visual was awesome, Like it was.
Speaker 5: Like nobody had Internet yet, virgins, Oh, nobody had internet yet. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so like our internet was just starting, so like it
Speaker 5: was still big surround sounds. So when the first Aladdin
Speaker 5: came out or Avatar, the first Avatar came out.
Speaker 3: Here, so there's definitely internet. No, sorry, it was internet.
Speaker 5: It was like the first It was still like new though,
Speaker 5: like it wasn't like you can't just get what you
Speaker 5: get now Netflix is the thing yet, yeah, exactly the thing.
Speaker 3: I mean, like, Okay, people didn't have so they buy
Speaker 3: any ways, any ways.
Speaker 5: He's like, he's like, my the owner of that fucking
Speaker 5: audio visual story. He's like this, He's like, we had
Speaker 5: a deal on you buy his sixty five inch flat
Speaker 5: screen TV or a big TV. I don't know if
Speaker 5: his flat screen yet. You buy sixty five inch TV,
Speaker 5: and you get a free DVD copy of Aladdin or
Speaker 5: free Blu ray copy or not Aladdin avatarah. And so
Speaker 5: he was selling to this this family. It's like there
Speaker 5: was six and this is important of how many there were.
Speaker 5: He's like, there were six Chinese people in this family, mom, dad,
Speaker 5: and four Chinese kids.
Speaker 3: And they're all there and.
Speaker 5: He's like and if you get Aladdin, if you get
Speaker 5: the if you buy this TV, you get a copy
Speaker 5: of Aladdin. And they're like oh, he's like yeah, Aladdin.
Speaker 3: Good movie. Good movie. And they're like ah and they're
Speaker 3: like clapping and ship and they're like he's like, oh yeah,
Speaker 3: a laden come here or anyways, Avatar, I have a
Speaker 3: talking movie. And then he's like he's like he's ringing
Speaker 3: them up. He's like, so how you bring this home?
Speaker 3: You got truck van? I hope you don't say ca
Speaker 3: what like a car? He's like you're not a car,
Speaker 3: and he's like, sure is ship. He walks outside in
Speaker 3: this family of six is in a car. He's like,
Speaker 3: how the fuck are you gonna get TV? No, but
Speaker 3: it's like, uh, but they loved it. Of that Christmas stories.
Speaker 1: My freas Christmas movies is a Christmas story and like
Speaker 1: that's now offensive when they're like they go and eat on,
Speaker 1: I think it's Christmas. Even the Chinese restaurant, because they
Speaker 1: don't celebrate Christmas is the one that's open.
Speaker 3: And then they're like I can't uh oh forra rah
Speaker 3: rah rah rah.
Speaker 1: Just now offensive. But still that's a fucking movie. Is
Speaker 1: hilarious as fucking.
Speaker 5: You know, I might be getting my like points off
Speaker 5: just because I mean, like, my not my point. My
Speaker 5: points are fine, but I'm saying, like the whole idea,
Speaker 5: I think it's okay to make fun of other cultures
Speaker 5: of the families primarily based off Chinese people also have
Speaker 5: an amazing sense of humor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's why they understand that you're with them.
Speaker 1: My Jenna mind tricks tattoo right here, my and it
Speaker 1: is the exact same symbol. But I remember being at
Speaker 1: a buffet and the guy's.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, like tattoo. He's like yeah, yeah, He's like,
Speaker 3: do you know what that means?
Speaker 1: And I was like, according to Jedi mind tricks, it's
Speaker 1: it's from the eye ching and it means spirituary birth.
Speaker 1: And he's like, oh, maybe maybe, and then he's like
Speaker 1: it also means then now he like he's gonna tell me.
Speaker 1: And they have these stupid like kids like menu things,
Speaker 1: so he writes down rich and he's like me, he's rich,
Speaker 1: rich harvest. And I was like, I can see Vinny
Speaker 1: going either way. I think it's from the eye ching,
Speaker 1: but either way they took it. This is the exact
Speaker 1: same symbol, but it's like the eye chink. He's like
Speaker 1: oh yeah, and then he gave us like a discount
Speaker 1: for the whole buffet.
Speaker 3: I don't know why.
Speaker 1: It was twenty dollars from me and my girlfriend create
Speaker 1: a fucking shallow just twenty bucks flat.
Speaker 3: And he's like yeah yeah, and I was like, like
Speaker 3: he was super fun, chill. I love China. I love everybody,
Speaker 3: just Asian people in general. Fantastic. Let's talk about it.
Speaker 3: You don't you fucking hate everybody everybody.
Speaker 1: I don't hate something because they're like they looked at it.
Speaker 3: But because they act, I'm saying, you can't say you
Speaker 3: love everybody when you hate everybody. You don't like fucking anybody.
Speaker 1: So uh stu Well, Pete Peter. So I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: call his name shockhead Peter. This one's fucked so has
Speaker 1: become a household name amongst amongst a pair with Edward
Speaker 1: gory in recent years. I don't know who Edward Gorey is,
Speaker 1: but originally created as by a psychiatrist author Heinrich Hoffman
Speaker 1: He's fucking German, as a Christmas present for his son,
Speaker 1: Shockhead Peter sports huge electrocutian fused hair like I came
Speaker 1: out of the word like you know what, You.
Speaker 3: Get shocked and you're sucking it. Yeah, your hair beer
Speaker 3: goes all.
Speaker 1: Crazy, uh long point on point beard talon like fingers,
Speaker 1: which later going to inspire the creation of Edward scissor Hands.
Speaker 3: And that's weird.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that that Shockhead Peter fucking inspired Edwards
Speaker 1: Skizzer fans, but like, you know, that's fucking weird.
Speaker 3: Joke. Excizer hands Peter is miser hands Peter.
Speaker 1: Cheezures, seezers, scissors, caesars cut him a little that was
Speaker 1: a That was my favorite. Did Jo Peter is mainly
Speaker 1: a kind of cautionary tale and bloodthirsty moralist tale. Is
Speaker 1: but morality, he stays. He stands by as children burned
Speaker 1: to death for neglecting fire safety. So if they don't
Speaker 1: if they don't follow the protocol, like the firefighter says.
Speaker 3: Like, buddy, I told you stop dropping rolling. I see
Speaker 3: you stop dropping and squirming. You're fucking rolling. You can
Speaker 3: I'll sit here all day.
Speaker 1: See the kid doesn't listen to fire safety, so he
Speaker 1: lights hi stuff on fire and then shockhead Peter, with
Speaker 1: this crazy look, stands next to the boy. He's like,
Speaker 1: I fucking told you.
Speaker 3: I told you.
Speaker 1: Again. I don't know why my voices always go like
Speaker 1: down south.
Speaker 3: And now there's like there's like seven other kids standing
Speaker 3: beside him. He's like, see what happens. I'm not gonna help.
Speaker 3: They're all fucking on fire, just just watching the one
Speaker 3: kid and he's like, come here, children, nobody, Oh Tom okay.
Speaker 1: He also gets their fingers severed with scissors for sucking
Speaker 1: on their thumbs. If you suck on your thumbs too long,
Speaker 1: this motherfucker's gonna cut them off.
Speaker 3: Scissors did you mention being a grown ass man. This
Speaker 3: still sucks in your.
Speaker 1: I feel like I knew girls that did till they
Speaker 1: were like thirteen to forteen. I knew one girl that
Speaker 1: did it, and.
Speaker 3: Here's a girl gives them a child. Yeah, probably.
Speaker 1: Gross.
Speaker 3: I was a better.
Speaker 1: Pour the fucking rum on top of the whiskey. That's
Speaker 1: a bad idea.
Speaker 3: I don't want to festive. I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I'll throw it up later if I drink fucking milk
Speaker 1: and this much whiskey.
Speaker 3: I've had it almost. I have almost finished this car. Why.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to try to do a drunken Christmas freestyle.
Speaker 1: We did one sober. Let's se which one's better. Probably
Speaker 1: we'll see. Ah he stands by it, christ burn that
Speaker 1: are so and cuts off fucking fingers for suck on
Speaker 1: the thumbs. And also like if they refuse to eat
Speaker 1: their soup, they refuse to eat their dinner or their
Speaker 1: peas or their vegetables, they'll waste away like Stephen Kingk's
Speaker 1: dinner and just like.
Speaker 6: Slowly like get skinnier and then they're waste away and nothing.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's it's a better book. Maybe that's literally just
Speaker 3: because you're not eating your vegetables, all right? So what
Speaker 3: else is on your plate? Is it vegetables and pizza?
Speaker 1: H what are you gonna choose? So that marshmallow marshmallow
Speaker 1: trick like they do to kids, leave one marshmallow on
Speaker 1: a plate and then they walk away and say, if
Speaker 1: you don't eat this one, I'll give you three more.
Speaker 1: And then it is an experiment on their will and
Speaker 1: if they and some kids will speak and then some
Speaker 1: kids will do it and like actually, like it's about
Speaker 1: like wait, yeah, wait, So there's a little poem that goes.
Speaker 7: On with it.
Speaker 3: Just look at him. There he stands with his nasty
Speaker 3: hair and hands. See his nails are never.
Speaker 1: Cut, they are grimed with black as soot and the
Speaker 1: slovan I declare never once again he combed his hair,
Speaker 1: never once combed his hair.
Speaker 3: Anything to me is sweeter than to see shock headed Peter.
Speaker 3: Anything is sweeter, any any anything is sweeter. This fucking
Speaker 3: check sounds like she has to reads. I repeat never ever, ever,
Speaker 3: I repeat never.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, last one on the docket for the Christmas
Speaker 1: creatures and monsters.
Speaker 7: What's the what's the what's the sorry it's gonna bother me?
Speaker 7: What's the I say, I say, Sam the rooster in
Speaker 7: in and walking bugs Bunny.
Speaker 3: I say, yeah, Oh fuck, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Is it Sam?
Speaker 3: Yeah it is.
Speaker 1: I think it's Sam because he takes that like remember
Speaker 1: that there's that uh that hawk.
Speaker 3: I'll say, I say, I've never seen anything like this
Speaker 3: in my day.
Speaker 1: I say, yeah, I see, he remember because that hawk
Speaker 1: always wants to like go get like I want to
Speaker 1: go get the eggs or whatever. And that hawk's always
Speaker 1: like and he's always trying to train the hawk a
Speaker 1: little like small old races. I think, I think it's so,
Speaker 1: let's get the last one and then we get some
Speaker 1: fun facts and yeah, take a little Christmas at the
Speaker 1: end of this. But talk a little Christmas. I guess
Speaker 1: we already have a whole episode. But uh, caja teo.
Speaker 1: This is the merry Holiday, It's the Poohlog. It's oh
Speaker 1: damn about mister Hanky and loves mister Hanky the Christmas
Speaker 1: poof from South Park. Is that a thing but many
Speaker 1: are not aware of like a tradition. He may practically
Speaker 1: be based on t O d a Kaka to all
Speaker 1: So and the festive holiday pooh Log hails from the
Speaker 1: Catalen the Catalang it's from Spain, is Catalang, Calang region
Speaker 1: of Spain, and it's it's it's pretty much your tradition
Speaker 1: that endures to a Christmas season. He isn't, however, fiico matter.
Speaker 1: He isn't fiico matter. He's actually a log that is
Speaker 1: supposed to represent dung, which is really weird, so it's
Speaker 1: a poo poo log. In this article, it describes him
Speaker 1: as a hollow log with sticks for legs and a
Speaker 1: smile you face and a flop your a yule branch
Speaker 1: with a sophisticated spin, so it's kind of like a
Speaker 1: poopoo log. The excrement log yearly merrymaking beginnings on December eighth,
Speaker 1: when the Feast of the Immaculate Conception kicks off. Every
Speaker 1: day right until Christmas Eve. Children feed the log with
Speaker 1: offerings of a sort of goodies, including candy, dried fruit,
Speaker 1: and testicles, I mean nuts, and they also swaddle him
Speaker 1: with blankets and ensure he stays warm. So it's kind
Speaker 1: of like Elf on the shelf, but it's a ship
Speaker 1: a smile and you like, and you like put him
Speaker 1: around a blanket and you feed him and make sure
Speaker 1: he stays warm and December twenty fourth, whoever, the game
Speaker 1: is up and it's time for the log to deliver.
Speaker 1: Kids beat him with sticks while anointing Christmas Carol. So
Speaker 1: it's like, man, Christmas sent that glass and the fucking
Speaker 1: is whipping this piece of poop. And at the end
Speaker 1: of the beating, the joy is completed and they've lifted
Speaker 1: the logs blankets and discovered he has He's pooped out
Speaker 1: a dazzling wealth of candy and gifts.
Speaker 3: Oh so it's like a fucking It's literally like it's
Speaker 3: like a it's a double poop.
Speaker 1: It's like a pin yota.
Speaker 3: It's like they beat it until he comes out candy.
Speaker 3: You were gross. It was a real piece of poop.
Speaker 3: If you're bad, if you were really ugly, they just
Speaker 3: they you were. So that's really fucking weird.
Speaker 1: I want to end in that's that because I was
Speaker 1: like looking that up and I thought that was the
Speaker 1: weirdest fucking ship that Like, it's like the It's like
Speaker 1: it is like Elf on the shelf, but you beat
Speaker 1: this piece of ship until it poops out candy.
Speaker 3: I kind of like that. I kind of like that though,
Speaker 3: because it's okay, it's time for Billy's fun back to
Speaker 3: the day.
Speaker 1: I do that every fucking time in my goddamn I
Speaker 1: don't want to I don't want to even record it.
Speaker 1: I want him to do it every time. It's different every.
Speaker 3: Time we just record. It's so similar. Start, startup, fluck.
Speaker 3: So Billy's fun factor of the day, it's about evergreens.
Speaker 3: Because it's Christmas time.
Speaker 5: You have that one I want you to say, please,
Speaker 5: it's Christmas time. Please say the one that I will say,
Speaker 5: the one you want me to say too. But I
Speaker 5: like the fact that evergreens are an ancient tradition, and
Speaker 5: I like this one more just because it proves Tom wrong.
Speaker 5: The reason evergreens came about where it goes back to
Speaker 5: the ancient Egyptians and Romans who mark their winter solstices
Speaker 5: with evergreens as a reminder that spring would return.
Speaker 3: That's fertility, you dumb fuck. That's not fortillo. It is.
Speaker 1: It's something coming out of every year of birthday. So
Speaker 1: the birth, that's what the shit's about.
Speaker 3: Fucking harvest, you asshole. Anyway, it is like rebirth.
Speaker 5: Get dumb for okay, sure, if you want to fucking
Speaker 5: you're real stretching on that one.
Speaker 3: That's not what you meant by it. But anyway, so
Speaker 3: the reason like it all started though before the fact
Speaker 3: that it was like a as a reminder, it actually
Speaker 3: came sorry I was a lawyer.
Speaker 5: It came from Prince Albert. Prince Albert, you can think
Speaker 5: you can thank for your Christmas tree, So you might
Speaker 5: want to brew a cup of tea when triming your
Speaker 5: tree this year to pay homage to its origins. When
Speaker 5: Prince Albert if Germany introduced a tree to his new wife,
Speaker 5: Queen Victoria of England, it really took across it. It
Speaker 5: really took off across the pond. A drawing of the
Speaker 5: couple standing in front of the tree with their kids
Speaker 5: set an example of a nice, warm Christmas for everybody.
Speaker 5: Everyone liked the idea of having a tree side of
Speaker 5: their home. That's pretty much all the fucking is anyways,
Speaker 5: that was boring.
Speaker 1: Where's the other one?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I'll fucking do it. It doesn't exist,
Speaker 3: have to do it anyways.
Speaker 5: Also, though, like so, there's the fact that women didn't
Speaker 5: have rights for a long time. Women didn't have rights
Speaker 5: for a long time. So growing up, like growing up
Speaker 5: when I was in the sixteenth century, about the sixteenth
Speaker 5: century and before that, obviously, women would pay tribute to
Speaker 5: their men and stand or sit on neil. I guess
Speaker 5: it'd be neil on their knees in front of the men,
Speaker 5: like they were giving a blowjob, begging for forgiven.
Speaker 3: For the previous year. It also insinuated that if the
Speaker 3: men did not say you were forgiven, you were allowed.
Speaker 1: To they suck like dick for twenty four hours.
Speaker 5: No, they were allowed to straight or just kick you
Speaker 5: out of your own home, even if you own the home.
Speaker 5: So if you if you so, fuck so if man,
Speaker 5: if a poor man man. If a poor man married
Speaker 5: a rich woman, everything that she had is now legally
Speaker 5: binding all of his. So during Christmas time was pretty
Speaker 5: much a time where the rich woman would say, can
Speaker 5: I please stay with all the things that I've earned
Speaker 5: and I've grown up with? While not you've earned obviously
Speaker 5: was your father's or something. Because they didn't they didn't
Speaker 5: do that, they didn't get recognized for anything, so barely
Speaker 5: end of them were rich on their own.
Speaker 1: But it's so crazy, it's just like I'm gonna why
Speaker 1: I finished the mickey, You're I'm You're gonna like kick
Speaker 1: you out of the house. But it's just like that
Speaker 1: women had to fucking bag on their knees and be like, I'm.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I burnt that one one pot road, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: Fuck remember said too much teeth. I was like, I'm sorry, and.
Speaker 1: They already probably apologized like five times, and the man
Speaker 1: already probably beat them numerous times.
Speaker 3: That was the big thing.
Speaker 5: That was the fact that like they would do it
Speaker 5: in a group setting where it wouldn't be it wouldn't
Speaker 5: be personal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I actually look things up. They would do it
Speaker 3: weird anyway, except for the episodes recovering, because when I'm
Speaker 3: interested in I'm no.
Speaker 5: But when they would do it in like a group setting,
Speaker 5: and it was more or less I think I didn't
Speaker 5: read this, but I think like the reason they would
Speaker 5: do that was to be betray a sense of all
Speaker 5: of the men are together, Like it would be like
Speaker 5: me and you, It would be like if you and
Speaker 5: I and both of our girlfriends were grappling. It would
Speaker 5: it would it would feel entitled and empowered because you would.
Speaker 3: Look over at you and you'd be like me and
Speaker 3: you're a high five.
Speaker 5: You'd be like yeah, but you wouldn't actually, but that
Speaker 5: feeling of like, yes, we are superior as opposed to
Speaker 5: being in your own home, and you'd be like, am
Speaker 5: I delusional?
Speaker 3: But when you do it with somebody else, you feel
Speaker 3: like I'm in the face and be like, yeah, bitch,
Speaker 3: I don't I see.
Speaker 5: I don't think that's they did stuff like that, like
Speaker 5: I'm sure some people did, but I don't know. It
Speaker 5: was just a purely like I am superior than you.
Speaker 5: It's like I'm not gonna make it my little whoreror,
Speaker 5: it's it's fucked up.
Speaker 1: Well, that was a crazy fucking episode fun Christmas time.
Speaker 3: It was fun.
Speaker 5: AKA, we're gonna release this and if it does get
Speaker 5: off on YouTube, listen to it right away because it's
Speaker 5: good and there's no fucking way this is gonna last time.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: You never know.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess they're cut a lot of ship, but
Speaker 1: you know, follow the pages Trange, Bruce hose Heads with
Speaker 1: all the ship you know, w W Strange podcast dot com,
Speaker 1: Patreon will do some like we're gonna get started doing
Speaker 1: episodes for that. We have like three.
Speaker 5: You know what, even if it's bad, he about we
Speaker 5: end it right now with a Christmas freestyle.
Speaker 3: All right, I got no I can't say up that way.
Speaker 3: You're fucking ruined it for me.
Speaker 1: I have to cut this ending out.
Speaker 3: It's done.
Speaker 1: We already mentioned it.
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have a fucking Christmas freestyle out either way, Bill,
Speaker 1: because I can't.
Speaker 3: I gotta switch over things. I can't because it was
Speaker 3: in a check ins account and all the money's save
Speaker 3: it kind of the same thing.
Speaker 1: I gotta switch over accounts. I gotta switch things up.
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas, have a strange one.
Speaker 3: Enjoy your family. Yeah, I don't care what they say
Speaker 3: about COVID. You see your fucking mom.
Speaker 5: Do not go to your fucking old ass mom's house
Speaker 5: in the driveway trying to make her learn skype.
Speaker 3: Fuck yourself see.
Speaker 1: Your show from the fucking driveway.
Speaker 3: So you press this button.
Speaker 5: If she is actually super old, maybe maybe stay home
Speaker 5: just in case because you never know and like it.
Speaker 3: Or just let them die.
Speaker 1: It's okay they if they're that old, as Kevin Smith say,
Speaker 1: they had a big bucket of wind. If I was
Speaker 1: fucking eighty eighty five ninety, I'd be like, I'm good.
Speaker 3: Don't like you, I'm good.
Speaker 1: You can take my life.
Speaker 3: God, see what hi guys, I love you. Bump from
Speaker 3: up