Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cult of Cryptis. Strange encounters of frogs
Speaker 1: and lizards, dumb my nick children, DoD Man, Bigfoot, Mockman
Speaker 1: and all their victims, Murray pictures captured by shot witness,
Speaker 1: ufloes breaking laws of physics, Pictures of aliens carving the
Speaker 1: high rogue lyphics.
Speaker 2: This is the bizarre world that.
Speaker 3: We live in.
Speaker 4: So sit back, relax, laugh.
Speaker 1: And listen because we're here to talk about some cryptics.
Speaker 5: This is Tom Thompson Postinos the Raptilian from Strange Group Podcasts,
Speaker 5: and we're here I called the Conspiracy to talk about
Speaker 5: some bizarre and strange things. So strap in for this
Speaker 5: wild and hilarious ride. Now to the show, everybody. The
Speaker 5: curtains are open. We're checking tickets at the door.
Speaker 2: It's about to get strange.
Speaker 6: Everybody punch him, please, Billy.
Speaker 4: I don't want to now. Why did the dell cross
Speaker 4: the road?
Speaker 2: Did who adele?
Speaker 4: Why it's too hot to us say hello from the
Speaker 4: other side.
Speaker 2: Wow, that was really funny. The crowd loved it. Welcome, Welcome,
Speaker 2: everybody to the podcast. This is Strange Brew Podcast coming
Speaker 2: in your ear holes. On this very special Saint Patti's
Speaker 2: Day episode, we are doing a Saint Patty's Day special
Speaker 2: once again. And I'm one of your hosts, Tom Kat
Speaker 2: aka Thompson, whatever my fucking name is. And who else
Speaker 2: do we have on this fucking bitch.
Speaker 4: My name's Billy.
Speaker 2: His name's Billy's.
Speaker 6: Billy and I'm Tom.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Just remember.
Speaker 4: It's it's it's not supposed to be creepy. You can't
Speaker 4: use like that. I don't know. That doesn't really I've
Speaker 4: contemplated for way too long. Now, I'm like Bill William
Speaker 4: will and I'm like, okay, I can't be Bill. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm way too fucking smiley to be a Bill. It's like, Hi,
Speaker 4: I'm Bill. It's like, oh, you're a dick.
Speaker 2: I know, really cool Bill. He's got long hair and
Speaker 2: smokes tons of wheat and drinks tons of beer. Billyam Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's called you.
Speaker 7: Bill William or Billiard Billiard?
Speaker 2: Remember do you remember Anton Domember Do you remember on
Speaker 2: the podcast when we every other every episode, I would
Speaker 2: think of a new name for Billy, Billy Baldwin. H yeah,
Speaker 2: you remember that every episode?
Speaker 7: Tell you, I mean it's gotta be, It's gotta be.
Speaker 6: Uh, you know, Dawn think taking care of all those names,
Speaker 6: because you come up with a new one for yourself
Speaker 6: almost every episode.
Speaker 2: That's true. I'm today, I am AKA, I'm yeah a
Speaker 2: k A the big Leprechaun. I don't fucking aka. And
Speaker 2: if you're tuning into this on, if it's in your
Speaker 2: ear holes, you can, you know, if you feel inclined,
Speaker 2: to jump over to the YouTube and you can watch
Speaker 2: this because this is our We do it so often
Speaker 2: and for some reason, we always do it around holidays
Speaker 2: quotations where we drink and we record it. And for
Speaker 2: the first time we have Me, Billy and Anton all
Speaker 2: on a special together and you can see all of
Speaker 2: our stupid faces as we're dressed up. I have a
Speaker 2: little gay ass hat. Is it gay? Anton? Is this gay?
Speaker 2: Or what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 7: I called you a fag for wearing it, that's for sure.
Speaker 2: Yes, we got bow ties, green shirts, we got beer.
Speaker 2: We have it's fun. Everything's green right now because we're
Speaker 2: celebrating the orange and they're drunken holiday.
Speaker 4: I like this. I like having ants on here because
Speaker 4: now I just want Alex back again, because I like
Speaker 4: saying words I'm not allowed to say unless those people
Speaker 4: are around.
Speaker 7: That's true, it's nice to have a pass, isn't it.
Speaker 4: I know I'll enjoy it. Everyone gives me one and
Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, I can say the end word.
Speaker 2: Well, we know you should do around them.
Speaker 4: They encourage me, and we encourage me. Just say it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, we're allowed to say Nigerian.
Speaker 2: Just just wear a black face four times and then
Speaker 2: you can become a dictator.
Speaker 6: Come on, Trudeau, war brown face one or black face once.
Speaker 6: The other times it was brown face four fucking times.
Speaker 2: It's so incredible that I did that ship.
Speaker 7: So looking embarrassing.
Speaker 2: So yeah, if you you know what, like, this is
Speaker 2: still gonna be a lot of fun for the people
Speaker 2: that hear us inside their ear holes and you hear
Speaker 2: us coming inside them. Our voice is coming coming inside
Speaker 2: your ear holes. But yeah, if you want to, you
Speaker 2: want to join in the festivities, watch it on YouTube
Speaker 2: and enjoy yourself. Crack yourself with beer. I got some
Speaker 2: shock Top and the guy at the l CBO said
Speaker 2: they're getting rid of it, and I was like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck shock that you ever tried to shock top.
Speaker 7: I'm not a fan. I don't like wheat beer.
Speaker 2: I hate I love wheat beer.
Speaker 4: Gross a gross I'm well on bored with you with that.
Speaker 4: I love cheers with my with my other garbage beer.
Speaker 7: I also have some Guinness Milwaukee. Then a FU shocked up.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna have some. I'm gonna get some iron
Speaker 2: in me. I'm gonna have a Guinness. I have two Guinness.
Speaker 7: I love Guinness. I didn't grab it this time.
Speaker 6: I grabbed a I grabed some ward Rainbow because it's
Speaker 6: got a fucking leprechaun.
Speaker 4: Yo. That sounded sick on the mic, did no, but
Speaker 4: that was the and on. That's like, that's a really
Speaker 4: cool design there ship. What is that like an I
Speaker 4: p A or what?
Speaker 7: No, it's not a fan of I pas either.
Speaker 2: It's a sour I like sour beers. But the lost
Speaker 2: sour beers are I p as.
Speaker 4: No they're not, No, they're not They're so actually you
Speaker 4: know what like and what fucked me up more than
Speaker 4: anything is the first time I've ever if you mix
Speaker 4: a sour beer with something like a logger. It's fucking
Speaker 4: delicious because it takes away that like extra like, but
Speaker 4: you start chugging them and then you have like seven
Speaker 4: fucking sour beers.
Speaker 2: What about that?
Speaker 4: Oh that's a gross pew.
Speaker 2: But I've never had a dark and stormy. I'm not
Speaker 2: talking about the porns.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, No, I never really enjoyed those anyway.
Speaker 7: BBC Review.
Speaker 4: Yes, I don't really like like, uh, I don't really
Speaker 4: like stout.
Speaker 2: Either, because Guinness, what is it? It wasn't it Guinness?
Speaker 2: And what's the darkest stormy? It's a fucking liquor, for dude.
Speaker 4: I was actually sitting at the bar yesterday at VP
Speaker 4: and I was like, wow, I haven't been a bartender
Speaker 4: for a year, and somebody said a name of a
Speaker 4: shot and They're like Skittles shot, and I'm like, fuck,
Speaker 4: I don't remember how to make that. I was doing
Speaker 4: that for eight years. I knew every single one like
Speaker 4: the back of my hand. And I'm like lime juice
Speaker 4: and something.
Speaker 7: What about a green tea shot.
Speaker 4: Jamison and Creme de Men.
Speaker 6: I think I thought a green tea was like OJ
Speaker 6: and whiskey and something else.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Jamison's whiskey, Creme de men, Crime to Men. You know,
Speaker 4: I don't remember there being mint in it anywhere.
Speaker 7: That's like a shamrock shake one.
Speaker 4: Maybe it was like Crime to Kick Kill.
Speaker 7: I remember there being cream in it at all.
Speaker 2: It's podcast I guess I don't remember.
Speaker 4: Man, it's driving me nuts. Yeah, I fucking I knew
Speaker 4: these a year ago. I'd have the answer down one
Speaker 4: hundred percent. And now I'm just like, would you like
Speaker 4: to know what type of attic inslation you have? I
Speaker 4: can tell you right now.
Speaker 6: Don't get him going to push out old memories to
Speaker 6: make room for the information. It's like, I knew this momentarily,
Speaker 6: but now it's going just pops the smoke up.
Speaker 4: My ear and then you drink every night and then
Speaker 4: you're just like alcoholic anymore.
Speaker 2: All right, So yeah, welcome, welcome. This is a very
Speaker 2: special episode, uh for we're doing it secondly Saint Path's
Speaker 2: Day special. Uh we'll see how many more we got
Speaker 2: in us for the next couple of years. But uh,
Speaker 2: we talked to a leprechauns Now, let's talk about mythical
Speaker 2: monsters of Oireland, monsters.
Speaker 7: And spirits of Ireland. Now, belly, do you got a
Speaker 7: potato stuffed in your bottom?
Speaker 4: It's so, you.
Speaker 2: Said, bum and maybe laugh fucking child when when when
Speaker 2: we were in we were in grade six. I don't
Speaker 2: know if I told this story before there was we
Speaker 2: had we're doing sex, said and like you could write
Speaker 2: like a question in a hat and the chick was
Speaker 2: British that was doing it, so they get you could
Speaker 2: draw up questions. And my buddy Austin purposely we knew,
Speaker 2: like there was one kid that didn't know this, but
Speaker 2: we made fun of him hardcore, but we uh he
Speaker 2: put like, can you get uh pregnant from bum sex?
Speaker 2: And then she's like, can you get pregnant from boom six?
Speaker 2: And then we were like killing ourselves laughing and one
Speaker 2: kid's like, you can't. And then on the playground, we
Speaker 2: fucking we made fun of this kid, lie crazy Ryan Steadfast,
Speaker 2: I think stand Fast. I'm like that, I remember, fucking yeah,
Speaker 2: fuck you, he didn't know your parents didn't teach you shit?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, yeah, how are you still bullying? Leave
Speaker 4: this kid alone?
Speaker 2: I saw I saw his face on Facebook. I saw
Speaker 2: his face on Facebook. So his face on Facebook pop up.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, there's that weirdo.
Speaker 6: Did you send him a message asking if he's gotten
Speaker 6: anyone pregnant from bum sex?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Should have, all right, So let's get in the first one.
Speaker 2: According to folklore, in these days when witches bries walk
Speaker 2: the earth, there was also evil phantoms who would steal
Speaker 2: the souls of men, which isn't Fairyes, still.
Speaker 4: Walk the earth.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well there's one sitting over here. I know I'm
Speaker 7: not a witch.
Speaker 2: What I thought you were. I was making a fairy joke.
Speaker 2: I know, I'm fucking joking.
Speaker 4: Uh so.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The once the Celtic people convert to Christianity, the
Speaker 2: su log adapted with the times, fearsome demonic spirits became
Speaker 2: the souls of the dead, who were so evil they
Speaker 2: even were rejected from Hell itself.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't believe that. I don't think
Speaker 4: Hell was like you know what, like we bomb people,
Speaker 4: but like you like you're gonna get us in trouble,
Speaker 4: Like there is a code that we follow around here.
Speaker 8: Of course, Dutchess rapists and murderers and pedophiles, you're.
Speaker 4: A little different. You make people eat peanut butter when
Speaker 4: they're allergic to peanuts, like Boddy.
Speaker 2: I gotta I can for that. Do you know why
Speaker 2: so many kids are are allergic peanut butter?
Speaker 4: Now nobody's barely anybody.
Speaker 2: Because the stuff that they put inside vaccines.
Speaker 7: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Supposedly that's a real theory. Because of the stuff that
Speaker 2: they have inside of it. It causes reactions and people
Speaker 2: for the rest of their life.
Speaker 4: That's why I really want to back you a lot
Speaker 4: of the time. And then you say very stupid things.
Speaker 2: Well, Fizer just released nine pages of documents that says
Speaker 2: there's herpes in the shot, so they did.
Speaker 4: No, you're not wrong about that, that is, yeah, but
Speaker 4: that's what I mean though, like you kind of filter thrill.
Speaker 2: No, I guess kicked off twitch Tom.
Speaker 7: Tom is like every great conspiracy theorist.
Speaker 6: He gives us one morsel of truth and then just
Speaker 6: a mountain of shit to go on top of it.
Speaker 4: It's absolutely correct.
Speaker 2: Hey, David, I called the war the United States using
Speaker 2: going through Ukraine to to try to fight a war
Speaker 2: with Russia. In twenty fifteen, you know yourself.
Speaker 7: David Ike was caught on camera blowing a dolphin.
Speaker 4: So take that.
Speaker 2: Dolphins raped him? What are you talking about?
Speaker 7: It was consensual.
Speaker 4: So oh, I bet there's people that do that.
Speaker 2: Though there is there's someone got fucking raped to Disney World.
Speaker 2: How do you know?
Speaker 4: I know dolphins, right, people, But like I bet you
Speaker 4: there's people that suck off dolphins at.
Speaker 6: Very at least in an old fashion just getting in
Speaker 6: the water and splashing around then just as fuck.
Speaker 2: So, the lore of the Sulag paints the portrait of
Speaker 2: an ancient Earth crawling. Ancient Earth crawling with inhuman creatures.
Speaker 2: Demons and witches and fairies lived alongside with the mortals.
Speaker 2: As the Sulog themselves, they were evil souls, souls too
Speaker 2: dark that they were barred from hell. They were cursed
Speaker 2: to wander as something not quite living and not quite
Speaker 2: dead in.
Speaker 4: Between the fucking the downtown Cambridge. Now, yeah, it's true,
Speaker 4: a fucking drug.
Speaker 7: Add Vancouver, which one's the heroine Vancouver.
Speaker 4: Is horrible and dude, honestly all of Southern Ontario turning
Speaker 4: into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 4: It's coming up there. We're we're on the up and up,
Speaker 4: we're rising, we're trying to become like top ranks, like
Speaker 4: but we're still like junior league, but we're trying.
Speaker 6: Hey, we're we're almost honorary Southern Ontario. And uh, when
Speaker 6: I moved back, I have no less than nine people
Speaker 6: from my graduating class had died from heroin overdoses.
Speaker 2: So uh, someone in the twitch chat said, Billy looks
Speaker 2: Cute's Dutch.
Speaker 7: Is a Dutch?
Speaker 2: What Dutch is always they Wand blames him for the
Speaker 2: fucking weird electronical issues that we have on this podcast
Speaker 2: at times.
Speaker 7: No, that's this Wand's overuse of fucking technology. Every three days,
Speaker 7: he's like, yo.
Speaker 2: Chick it what I bought? I know, I' go on
Speaker 2: to Oculus now, Oh I wanted to get and then
Speaker 2: you're gonna live inside listening.
Speaker 6: He just had a freemason on his show. He's uh,
Speaker 6: he's officially.
Speaker 2: A freemason, all right. So the the seo logs appearance
Speaker 2: is stuff of nightmares. The spirits supposed to be resembled
Speaker 2: giant blackbirds with leathery wings and disfigured legs. Even their
Speaker 2: smell is vile, like rotten flesh. You want to see
Speaker 2: what these fuckers look like?
Speaker 4: Yes, of course, I just picture a crow.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have wings, but this is one of the pictures.
Speaker 4: That holy, that's muscular.
Speaker 2: It's one of one of the images I found there.
Speaker 4: It's like a fucking raging dick.
Speaker 7: What does it have fucking hooves?
Speaker 4: He's vainy.
Speaker 2: There's different stories about the bird seed just strolling through.
Speaker 4: Help help a bird out.
Speaker 2: There is different images of them, but that's just the
Speaker 2: one that I thought looked fucked. So when the horrible
Speaker 2: creatures find their prey, they let out a blood curdling screech.
Speaker 2: That's always your go to.
Speaker 4: Well because you you don't like prep me, You're just
Speaker 4: like and then you gotta be you gotta be quick
Speaker 4: quick stream me and.
Speaker 2: Billy's plan is to try to do some hey there
Speaker 2: you go that will come by solid. Yeah, So I
Speaker 2: want to and it's gonna happen one day and we'll
Speaker 2: film it. I'm gonna and Billy's ever gets a better schedule.
Speaker 2: I really we want to do improv one day, and
Speaker 2: I fucking really want to do it. I want to
Speaker 2: try to do an improv. I think I can do
Speaker 2: improv all the time. That's what this is technically, yes,
Speaker 2: but I want to do it in front of a
Speaker 2: stage and I want people to throw it ideas and
Speaker 2: then I'll turn to me doing conspiracy fucking ship all right.
Speaker 4: Peanut butter. So when they made it, they actually put
Speaker 4: it in the vaccine. People are dying.
Speaker 6: Stop saying that, like me, a few years, we're gonna
Speaker 6: kill you off.
Speaker 2: So it is their last thing that their victims here
Speaker 2: before their souls are ripped away. The sulog feasts on
Speaker 2: particular prey, the souls of the dying. These creatures stop
Speaker 2: people as they take their final breaths. Then, just as
Speaker 2: the unfortunate victim is about to perish, they.
Speaker 6: Suck their weekend souls and despair out their dick.
Speaker 2: Really nice, that's I'm saying. You get a really enjoyful death.
Speaker 7: Oh this are my last moment?
Speaker 6: Oh oh oh, well, at least getting his dick suck.
Speaker 2: And I know an Irish su log means host. This
Speaker 2: name refers to how these creatures prefer to hunt and
Speaker 2: giant flocks that bloat out the skull that says, blots
Speaker 2: out the sky, but blocks out the sky.
Speaker 7: That thing isn't flying anywhere.
Speaker 2: I know. You want to get a better poacher.
Speaker 7: Vainy fucking arms in the air, getting a pump on
Speaker 7: flying over there?
Speaker 2: Boys, how's the first image that popped up? So oh
Speaker 2: they look scary?
Speaker 4: Holy fuck? Why is that one like as big as
Speaker 4: a tree?
Speaker 2: Yeah? What the fuck? Let's use this one?
Speaker 4: Here we go, dude, there's so many different ones. This
Speaker 4: is all just people's artwork.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't really know what these things look like.
Speaker 4: This one's now skinny? You now just found a skinny
Speaker 4: one with like fly wings on it.
Speaker 7: Bring it up on the thing.
Speaker 2: All right, we are where? Oh where did my little
Speaker 2: birdie go?
Speaker 4: Just got a reasons? Just click on options?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 4: Just click on options?
Speaker 7: What?
Speaker 4: Just find options?
Speaker 2: All right? Where's options?
Speaker 4: Just click on option?
Speaker 2: I don't know where that is?
Speaker 4: Just find options?
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't mind it.
Speaker 4: You just click on options.
Speaker 2: God damn it? Where'd this go? Okay? So there is
Speaker 2: many different versions of this creature. It looks like there
Speaker 2: is many different versions of this creature. So let's get
Speaker 2: into another one. Here you go, just the one that
Speaker 2: Billy was talking about. Give me a second. This is
Speaker 2: the one that I'm going to show next after the
Speaker 2: one that Billy likes, is the one that I think
Speaker 2: it looks like. This is what you see. This guy's fancy.
Speaker 7: Okay, at least he's it should be in hell boy.
Speaker 2: Yoh, he's doing some weird masonic fucking hand.
Speaker 4: Signal though he's giving me the finger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it looks like it.
Speaker 6: Fuck you, No, that's definitely some secret school shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is what I think that they look like.
Speaker 2: This man, No, this looks like mothman does. But this
Speaker 2: is what I imagine them. They're supposed to be like
Speaker 2: black bird creatures, so with leathery wings, So this is
Speaker 2: what they I assume they probably look like. Interesting.
Speaker 7: Fucking dude seeing a whole flock of that shit fucked that.
Speaker 2: Oh I wouldn't want to see that either. They overwhelm
Speaker 2: their prey with the sheer numbers as well as deadly determination.
Speaker 2: The souls of the weak and dying make easier prey,
Speaker 2: and not even healthy people are safe from the sulag.
Speaker 2: Feelings of sadness and heartache attracts the creatures, as does
Speaker 2: even saying their names aloud. Hopefully I'm pronouncing it wrong
Speaker 2: so they don't come rape me in the nighttime.
Speaker 4: Oh, I guarantee you are.
Speaker 2: And once an individual becomes the target, they can't avoid
Speaker 2: their doom, that is, unless someone else is willing to
Speaker 2: sacrifice themselves to the dreaded spirits. Will you sacrifice yourself
Speaker 2: Billy for me? Why you're fucking asshole? God damn it?
Speaker 7: Friend is honest about it?
Speaker 4: Like not what that?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 4: I just like compare it. I was like, he's got
Speaker 4: a girlfriend. I got a girlfriend. He's got one dog.
Speaker 4: I have four dogs. I have more responsibility.
Speaker 2: He does have four dogs.
Speaker 7: Dogs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2: I have two.
Speaker 7: And then you got them beat by one.
Speaker 4: That's all I mattered. And that means my wife's more
Speaker 4: valuable than this.
Speaker 2: Yeah wait else is pregnant. It's just joking.
Speaker 4: That's what this is. I will do that tonight, White
Speaker 4: Ant Todd.
Speaker 7: That's a half point deduction.
Speaker 2: Ye, that's true. The seo log here we go. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so you don't. Their names are often said to have power,
Speaker 2: and that seems to be the case in the story
Speaker 2: of the zoo Log. It is thought that's saying the
Speaker 2: name of the evil creature allowed summon them directly to you,
Speaker 2: and they won't leave you alone until they claim your soul.
Speaker 2: Fucking great, everybody say this name su Log. All right, God,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be raped.
Speaker 6: Now, go stand in front of the mirror and say
Speaker 6: it four times, not saying it.
Speaker 2: Great, there's a mirror there. The su Log may seem
Speaker 2: like a terrifying, unsuppable force, but according to legend, you
Speaker 2: can defend against them by taking a few simple steps.
Speaker 2: The creatures are believed to fly and in from the west.
Speaker 4: You know what, like, go to the east.
Speaker 2: They're the fucking they're the flying monkeys from Wizard of
Speaker 2: Oz those things.
Speaker 4: I actually don't like those fucking things. I really really
Speaker 4: don't like those things. The monkeys with fucking wings. They
Speaker 4: always creep me the fuck out?
Speaker 7: Is it? The vest? Is the vest?
Speaker 4: I think? So there definitely adds to it. I'm like,
Speaker 4: why are you dressed at all?
Speaker 7: Who gave you clothes? How did you know you were naked?
Speaker 4: Did you eat the apple?
Speaker 2: Who members that?
Speaker 6: Which was probably like can you please cover your monkey balls?
Speaker 7: And they're like no, no, Dice like, well I'm putting
Speaker 7: a vest and a hat on you?
Speaker 4: Then yeah to embarrassed though, I just only He's like,
Speaker 4: fine as long my balls? Right?
Speaker 2: What anton you know what Home Improvement is?
Speaker 7: Of course?
Speaker 2: Do you ear that one where Tim Allen dresses up
Speaker 2: like the fucking monkey, the flying Monkey? It's pretty good.
Speaker 2: It's pretty funny, pretty funny shit. I bribe. It just
Speaker 2: brought up because Chelsea's I guess, I guess that my
Speaker 2: brother in law, he uh, he bought the whole seasons
Speaker 2: on and so we've been watching them every season. It's
Speaker 2: fucking funny when you're stone. That's about it.
Speaker 6: I haven't watched that show since I was put a.
Speaker 2: But a lad. So locking, locking doors and windows that
Speaker 2: face that direction should bar them entrance. This is especially
Speaker 2: crucial if someone in the house is sick or dying.
Speaker 2: All right, so careful that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like these crazy creatures sound like they can't break
Speaker 4: through drywall.
Speaker 2: They said they can't. They're coming from the West.
Speaker 4: Bro, there's never drywall in the West.
Speaker 2: Just pray to Mecca.
Speaker 4: Fine, every house and these Because of these fuckers.
Speaker 2: The Chinese are safe. So in ancient Ireland, the Szuloc
Speaker 2: who were known as evil spirits. However, when christian and
Speaker 2: Christianity arrived, the story changed. Missionaries began adopting local lore.
Speaker 2: Of course they did to better spread their religion. And
Speaker 2: just remember everybody, religion is just a recycled bullshit and all.
Speaker 2: It's all it is everybody. So their new identity helped
Speaker 2: convince con convert their actions. Yeah, that's true. Their actions
Speaker 2: on earth would have reproduction are reproductions. Their new identity
Speaker 2: helped con So rather than dark spirits, the Sulacs became
Speaker 2: evil sinners, and their new identity helped convince converters to
Speaker 2: people convert to Christianity because their actions on Earth would
Speaker 2: have repercussions for their eternal souls. So that's fun, you
Speaker 2: know what.
Speaker 4: I like that though you made a lot of people
Speaker 4: like remorseful of their action, like genuinely made them a
Speaker 4: little bit better at people.
Speaker 6: Or you made them worse because they just had this
Speaker 6: overwhelming guilt that they now tried to hide from everyone
Speaker 6: else and got real sneaky with their ship. It's like
Speaker 6: when you have overprotective parents, you don't raise a good child,
Speaker 6: you raise a sneaky one.
Speaker 2: Dutch, if that thing looks like your fucking left knot,
Speaker 2: you should go get that checked out.
Speaker 7: Did he just say he's gonna me what looks like
Speaker 7: your left not?
Speaker 4: Can you go back to those comments? Is that what
Speaker 4: I just saw? Oh you're getting raped?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 4: What the fuck did?
Speaker 2: Okay, let's uh, let's go. That's nodding entertaining this rape talking.
Speaker 6: Okay, Oh, ship Dutch is using the my my Nicholas
Speaker 6: KG mode.
Speaker 2: Thank you Dutch, fucking Christ all right. So, some of
Speaker 2: the sulac's characteristics, like the its ability to fly, and
Speaker 2: its connections to the immortal soul, appear time and time
Speaker 2: again in various religions, both pagan and Christian beliefs hold
Speaker 2: that the soul can rise above the earth. Air is
Speaker 2: seen as more divine or otherworldly. So it's the domain
Speaker 2: of these things that are quite not human, not quite human.
Speaker 2: Many ancient sources also refer to soul taking forms of birds.
Speaker 2: I've heard that before, think about it, thinking about the crow, right,
Speaker 2: isn't the crow like a harbinger of death or something? Though?
Speaker 4: Yeah, well to let you know death's near.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I.
Speaker 7: Would say crows and ravens are.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it depends on which culture's mythology we're talking about,
Speaker 6: because ravens were sacred in Norse mythology.
Speaker 7: It was.
Speaker 4: I didn't know that. That's kind of cool.
Speaker 7: Yeah, also one of Odin's Odin's harbingers.
Speaker 2: Well, everyone make sure to subscribe to the patreon because
Speaker 2: that's definitely gonna be an onreal review because Brandon Lee
Speaker 2: got shot during the fucking filming of it.
Speaker 6: Oh the crow, yes, yeah, and the whole the whole
Speaker 6: Lee family curse, the theory that his his father was poisoned.
Speaker 2: That will definitely be coming up on the Patreon once
Speaker 2: you start getting unreal reviews, and Billy, you have to
Speaker 2: jump on one.
Speaker 4: For a movie that you like like I like things that.
Speaker 2: No, no, we should do, we should do Tommy boy.
Speaker 4: Yeah haha, Jesus.
Speaker 2: So many ancient sources obviously refer to souls taking the
Speaker 2: form of birds. As of the late nineteen hundreds, the
Speaker 2: sulog have been blamed for deaths that people cannot explain.
Speaker 2: In Scotland, a child was discovered dead with his hands
Speaker 2: stuck in the holes of the walls behind his house.
Speaker 2: When he says his hands were stuck in the hole,
Speaker 2: I was like, it's like, it's just just weird fucking
Speaker 2: horror movie where his hands are tucked inside of his asshole.
Speaker 2: He's just stuck like that.
Speaker 7: How did you get those in there? Oh? Mama, don't
Speaker 7: know what.
Speaker 2: They can't come out, So, which is weird? He had
Speaker 2: his hands stuck in the holes of a wall behind
Speaker 2: his house and he's dead. And if that's a real story,
Speaker 2: imagine finding this kid. He's dead with his hands stuck
Speaker 2: in these holes. What is in that hole? It's a
Speaker 2: glory hole. Guy just sucked his hands dry.
Speaker 7: Two dicks in either hand. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So locals explain it as the seulog picking up the
Speaker 2: unfortunate youngster and dropping him from the sky, but why
Speaker 2: would his hands be stuck? Strange?
Speaker 4: Strange.
Speaker 2: In addition to the innocent children, the mythical creatures are
Speaker 2: blamed for the deaths of petty criminals and vagabonds, those
Speaker 2: who may have worked as maybe human vigilantes. Maybe you
Speaker 2: know they're they're like the Batman of the Irish folklore.
Speaker 4: Folklore?
Speaker 7: All right, what is they are? Mentally handicapped?
Speaker 2: What do you got? Fucking whatever? What do you got?
Speaker 2: Fu face? Oh?
Speaker 6: I got a whole lot, and only one of them
Speaker 6: has an anti Semitic.
Speaker 4: Turn to it.
Speaker 6: Oh interestingly one, yeah, yeah, the I was watching a
Speaker 6: video for one of the ones we'll do in a bit,
Speaker 6: the Femorians, and it only took nine minutes before it
Speaker 6: was like and why did the Jews dislike them so much?
Speaker 7: It's like, ah, now we're getting.
Speaker 2: The Okay, this makes sense. Banshee.
Speaker 6: No, we're gonna I mean, we can start with the Banshee.
Speaker 6: I have I have a short synopsis and an encounter
Speaker 6: of the band Shie.
Speaker 2: If you would like, let's do the Banshee.
Speaker 7: Billy. We need we need a blood curdling scream.
Speaker 4: Am I gonna? Am I gonna piss off your neighbors?
Speaker 2: Who cares you.
Speaker 7: No, no, no, no, piss on his neighbors.
Speaker 4: That sounds nice.
Speaker 7: The Golden Shallower Billy's heed to deliver.
Speaker 4: Twenty doubles. Okay yo, my pee's valuable.
Speaker 2: He sells it on the internet.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a perfect Uh. When alcoholics want to
Speaker 4: get drunk in prison, they just get ship pee and
Speaker 4: they're like, yeah, you can have this pe and it's like, wow,
Speaker 4: that's like ninety nine percent alcohol.
Speaker 2: Nice billy billy, Uh Billy wears girls panties and pisses
Speaker 2: on them and sells them to fucking Japanese people.
Speaker 4: That's actually a really good idea.
Speaker 7: Can we have some clients? I can, I can provide
Speaker 7: some It's fine.
Speaker 4: I always thought about that. There was that whole thing
Speaker 4: right with people like buying used underwear, and I was like,
Speaker 4: what's stopping me from going and buying a bunch of
Speaker 4: fucking lingerie and like we talked about this, wear them
Speaker 4: for like six hours and go on a treadmill or
Speaker 4: something and just sell them in Japan.
Speaker 2: In Japan there are vending machines with used panties in
Speaker 2: vending machines.
Speaker 7: Isn't that just an urban legend?
Speaker 2: No, that's fucking real. My cousin went to Japan. He
Speaker 2: fucking saw them.
Speaker 4: I think it's I think I think it's an urban legend.
Speaker 2: I think it's completely real because I also see I
Speaker 2: saw a fucking documentary where they were talking about it,
Speaker 2: and they literally showed them they filmed. They'd be like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you can just get like there's a bunch of different,
Speaker 2: weird shit in it. But the one thing that people
Speaker 2: usually buy it it was fucking use panties.
Speaker 6: Tom We go through this all the time. Porn Hub
Speaker 6: does not do documentaries.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw it because I've been watching the Pam
Speaker 2: and Tommy movie and I saw a meme and it's
Speaker 2: like on porn Hub and somebody watching Tommy Lee and
Speaker 2: Pamela Anderson's sex tape, and it's like, who's here after
Speaker 2: watching Pam and Tommy.
Speaker 6: It's a terrible sex tape, like most celebrity sex tapes,
Speaker 6: it's all true.
Speaker 2: You've seen BAMS is fucking horrible.
Speaker 6: I've not seen BAMS, but I've seen Jimmy Hendrix's and
Speaker 6: you know what I gotta say, Well, the man was
Speaker 6: a guitar god.
Speaker 2: Jimmy Hendricks fucking had a sex tape.
Speaker 4: He had a little dickie what the fuck?
Speaker 6: And he looked like he was dead while he was
Speaker 6: getting blown by two chicks.
Speaker 7: It was crazy.
Speaker 2: The only one that Billy's seen is the one with
Speaker 2: fucking Vernon Troy.
Speaker 7: Vern Troyer.
Speaker 4: I don't know. Yeah, it's many me.
Speaker 2: He had a sextape. Yes, you know that. They made
Speaker 2: fun of him on Surreal Life for it.
Speaker 7: What.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not fucked up.
Speaker 7: Okay, well I know what is?
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, you might as well be proud of it,
Speaker 4: because if like everyone already knows, it's got to be small.
Speaker 4: There's no fucking way it's big.
Speaker 6: If I was, if I was a little person, I
Speaker 6: would definitely do porn just because.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's no there's no shame.
Speaker 2: Hey, you haven't bridge in a midget though? She fucking
Speaker 2: stabbed your boyfriend.
Speaker 7: Wait, I'm sorry, what do you know?
Speaker 2: Bridge in the Midget is no, she's a porn star,
Speaker 2: one of the most famous midget porn stars, if you
Speaker 2: can say that word anymore. And she stabbed her boyfriend
Speaker 2: and somebody who left.
Speaker 7: When has that ever stopped you from saying a word before?
Speaker 2: Its true? And then I saw a video on TMZ
Speaker 2: and it's like somebody filming her screaming before it happened,
Speaker 2: and like the like at the apartment, there's like stairs
Speaker 2: to go over to the apartment and she's like smashing
Speaker 2: the windows and I was like, Jesus, this little lady
Speaker 2: is very angry. Wow, intense.
Speaker 7: That's why you don't give cocaine to little people.
Speaker 2: It's fucking true. All right, let's talk about the banshie b.
Speaker 6: Right, So the banshee, Yeah, so the Bandshe is a
Speaker 6: female spirit in Irish folklore. It is said to be
Speaker 6: an omen for the death of a family member with
Speaker 6: her wailing, screeching, sorrowful song.
Speaker 7: She has often called the woman of the faery mound. Uh.
Speaker 6: The reason behind that is because she's often associated with
Speaker 6: death mounds because the Irish, not unlike the Native people,
Speaker 6: have I buried their they're dead in the mountains. Why
Speaker 6: breast shaped mounds. They can go up and just pinch
Speaker 6: on the nibble. I apologize to anyone in Ireland. Why
Speaker 6: there because you didn't click options?
Speaker 4: Just like kind.
Speaker 7: I love how she I want to get jerked off
Speaker 7: with the skeleton hand.
Speaker 2: And that hurts Sandy handy man.
Speaker 7: That was it's are Tom. It's about pain.
Speaker 4: It's about pain, like I mean, like any hand is
Speaker 4: a hand, but like you feel like you need something
Speaker 4: on it to like imagine that it's something.
Speaker 7: Oh, spitn't it.
Speaker 2: It's fine fucking sado masochist over here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's weird. I don't like that.
Speaker 2: This gout, my buddy.
Speaker 6: I'm just saying, at least I can check it off
Speaker 6: the list and be like skeleton j oh, all right,
Speaker 6: check that off the list. Fisted, No Dutch please, no, oh.
Speaker 2: My god, My buddy got a fucking hand dropping this chick.
Speaker 2: And I said, and her hand was like sandpaper, and
Speaker 2: we call her sandy handy for a long time. Color pastially,
Speaker 2: I just took it off from sweat.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 6: The word banshee comes from the Irish bean Sea, meaning
Speaker 6: the woman of the mountains.
Speaker 7: She is also referred to as the woman of the
Speaker 7: Faery Mound.
Speaker 6: She's usually described as an old hag dressed in a
Speaker 6: shadowy cloak and often seen brushing her flowing, wispy Greek
Speaker 6: gray hair. The banshee has also been known to appear
Speaker 6: as a beautiful young woman or a stately matron. While
Speaker 6: some have said they have seen her. Others often say
Speaker 6: that they only hear her. Hearing her mournful cries nearby
Speaker 6: is always a sign that a loved one is sure
Speaker 6: to die. So the size of the Banshie can range
Speaker 6: from a towering eight feet or more to a tiny
Speaker 6: three or four feet.
Speaker 2: That's a huge bitch.
Speaker 6: They're often said to be predicted upon arrival by crows.
Speaker 7: The screeching cats are howling dogs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what was the creepiest sound here? In fucking
Speaker 2: cats and heat? It's fucking scary.
Speaker 7: I don't think it's just annoying as fuck. I don't.
Speaker 7: It's just like, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 4: Please go watch a video of raccoons having sex.
Speaker 2: Why'd you look that up on pornhubb?
Speaker 4: No, it was not on porn hub. It was on
Speaker 4: fucking so. Buddy told me about it because he heard
Speaker 4: it in his walls and he's like, these raccoons were
Speaker 4: fucking in my wall and it sounded like like little
Speaker 4: people were getting fucking killed. It's like it was like
Speaker 4: blood curdling screams that raccoons when they fucking fucking Yeah,
Speaker 4: the girl is bad. Anyways, you said something earlier that
Speaker 4: caught my eye, and it was just actually bugging me.
Speaker 4: How has the word hag not become offensive?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 4: Like, how was that? I'm just wondering, Out of all
Speaker 4: the words that had been banned, I just feel like
Speaker 4: that's kind of next up.
Speaker 7: What hag? If you're it's the same thing with anything.
Speaker 6: If you're calling somebody something, then it becomes offensive.
Speaker 7: Otherwise it's just a descriptive adjective, like, Hey, look at
Speaker 7: that fag over there.
Speaker 4: It's like, what I'm gonna I'm gonna start calling people with.
Speaker 7: A butt plug tail I can call him a fag.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 4: Fucking toms the grid doesn't stand up on that. He's like,
Speaker 4: I can't say anything's gay anymore. He's like, if you
Speaker 4: watch ten guys fuck each other in the ass on
Speaker 4: a parade and just go, I'm gay, I'm gay. I
Speaker 4: like the com He's like, even if you go that's gay,
Speaker 4: they'll be like watch it.
Speaker 6: You know what a wonderful, wonderful thing to get away
Speaker 6: with if you're If you're never gonna sleep with somebody again.
Speaker 7: In the gay community, is uh, when they're you know.
Speaker 6: When they're starting, when they start sucking your dick, you
Speaker 6: just look down and You're just like, you didn't even
Speaker 6: say no homeo, you fag what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Or just talk about anything political.
Speaker 7: Yeah, don't remind me.
Speaker 4: That's actually really funny. Uh uh. One of the guys
Speaker 4: I worked with previous uh he was gay and yeah,
Speaker 4: he said the same thing. He's like, it's impossible to
Speaker 4: talk about politics.
Speaker 7: Yep.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because everybody just parents.
Speaker 6: The same shit over and over. But this is an
Speaker 6: episode about Irish spirits.
Speaker 7: Not politics.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 6: Sorry, sorry, I'm just trying to trying to take away
Speaker 6: the conversation. So this account comes from a woman in
Speaker 6: the town of Bogside, who claimed her encounter had been
Speaker 6: witnessed by her grandfather and his son. The grandfather had
Speaker 6: been having severe pain in his tooth at the time,
Speaker 6: but had been putting off seeing a dentist about it.
Speaker 6: One evening, the stun was walking along when he heard
Speaker 6: a wailing sound coming from down the street.
Speaker 7: It seemed to be coming from a hunched over figure.
Speaker 2: No, He's like, that's the dentist office, and he's like,
Speaker 2: I ain't going there.
Speaker 7: You don't know.
Speaker 6: He always criticizes the fact that I'm drinking whiskey when
Speaker 6: I walked through the door and I said, fuck you, Seamus,
Speaker 6: you've been drinking since fucking four.
Speaker 2: This is uh, this is I Ireland. And then she said,
Speaker 2: in the nineteen forties, then us just to rip out
Speaker 2: your teeth at they're fucking dead.
Speaker 6: That just punch in the jaw and hope that it
Speaker 6: falls out. So as the son approached, the ancient looking
Speaker 6: woman cried out and vanished the sudden sure that he
Speaker 6: had the lady had been a banshee and tried to
Speaker 6: warn his father to go see a dentist, but he
Speaker 6: died before he could because he was accidentally.
Speaker 7: Shot for the worst.
Speaker 6: So strange reports continue all the way up to moon
Speaker 6: modern times.
Speaker 2: Ship man, would you fucking banchie her? Okay, we're down
Speaker 2: the wrong way. So the god the abba hot touch,
Speaker 2: the abbat hot touch. How do you how do you
Speaker 2: say this, billy? Right here? Actually right here, it's right here.
Speaker 6: Ther a heartatch a ab heartatch.
Speaker 2: I don't I didn't look up any of these pronounces.
Speaker 4: The abbot hash abar touch.
Speaker 2: So the abbot touch is an Irish word for a dwarf, or.
Speaker 4: I can't say that. Yeah, we've been just trying to
Speaker 4: pronounce slurs here.
Speaker 2: Literally this is what, Yeah, it is said it was
Speaker 2: an evil dwarf and became an undead vampire who roamed
Speaker 2: the Northern Ireland at night and drank the blood of
Speaker 2: his victims. It was said, I.
Speaker 7: Think they prefer to be called Sunlight Challenge, not vampires.
Speaker 2: This is what he looks like.
Speaker 7: Holy fuck.
Speaker 4: So you guys caught pizza? Holy fuck?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 7: So uh like here, let me let me get a joke.
Speaker 2: It is said that the Abba the ab Heartatchart.
Speaker 4: I guess that sounds I just just honestly slur it
Speaker 4: like you drunk. The heart.
Speaker 2: Was possibly inspired by Bram Strucker's Dracula story. There was
Speaker 2: a few tales about the Hobart Hatch and about the
Speaker 2: Irish mythical monster. There at least mentioned of the habit
Speaker 2: Hotch is believed to have been in eighteen seventy five
Speaker 2: by story by Patrick Weston Joyce. The Original The Origin
Speaker 2: and the History of the Irish Irish Names and Places.
Speaker 2: Joyce tells of a magical dwarf who is also a
Speaker 2: tyrannical ruler in darry On, Northern Ireland, Ireland.
Speaker 7: After at North is a Protestant heretic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they fly each other all the time over
Speaker 2: fucking religion.
Speaker 7: I think it's I.
Speaker 6: Don't think it's as bad as it used to be,
Speaker 6: but I know in the seventies that's when most of
Speaker 6: the car bombings took place. Speaking of car bombings, Happy
Speaker 6: Saint Patty's everybody drink a bunch.
Speaker 2: Get drunk because the holiday tell you carbomb.
Speaker 7: Is like my favorite thing to drink when I'm at
Speaker 7: the bar.
Speaker 2: What's what's an Irish car bomb again?
Speaker 7: So it's you can make it.
Speaker 6: The traditional way of making it is like a half
Speaker 6: of a pint glass of Guinnis with a shot of Jamison.
Speaker 7: With a little bit of Bailey's on top.
Speaker 6: But I generally do Guinness tollamore ado and then whatever
Speaker 6: generic Irish cream is. Talamore do is like Jamison if
Speaker 6: Jamison didn't suck Jameson.
Speaker 2: Thank Jamison, fuck me, thank you.
Speaker 4: I love whiskey. Jamison is one of the worst fucking
Speaker 4: whiskeys I've ever drank.
Speaker 7: It's garbage. It's also thank you whiskey. I prefer Bourbon.
Speaker 6: But when it comes to Irish shit, dude, Tullibard and
Speaker 6: bush Mills are fantastic, and bush Mill's black label.
Speaker 2: That says you won't drink Scott straight. What I said,
Speaker 2: you're the fairy that won't drink Scott.
Speaker 7: Straight because Scott's tastes like cinnamon.
Speaker 2: You fucking does not taste like cinnamon. It tastes like
Speaker 2: having liquid.
Speaker 6: Shitty Scotch tastes like fucking cinnamon. I don't know what
Speaker 6: you're talking about.
Speaker 4: I think you nk ball.
Speaker 7: No, dude, I can't.
Speaker 6: I can't drink any liquor that has that fucking flavoring
Speaker 6: in It makes me instantly ill interesting.
Speaker 4: Because you drink too much, because it goes down.
Speaker 6: To eas No, I mean legitimately, I've had a shot
Speaker 6: of that fucking that red stag that gim Beam Redstag
Speaker 6: or whatever and fucking threw up immediately. And I have
Speaker 6: drunk myself into alcohol poisoning more times than I can
Speaker 6: tell you.
Speaker 2: So really, yeah, I haven't done that, only done to
Speaker 2: stop drinking.
Speaker 7: I don't drink that often. I just binge when I do.
Speaker 4: At the end of the day, though, Like if you
Speaker 4: drink like you just gotta like grow up and just
Speaker 4: not be a bitch.
Speaker 6: Well no, that's what I'm saying. Like alcohol poison is
Speaker 6: when you're throwing up too much.
Speaker 4: But That's what I mean. Like, yeah, don't be a
Speaker 4: bitch and throw up, keep it down, Jesus, grow up.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell you next time someone spuke and just
Speaker 4: be like, wow, grow up.
Speaker 7: You're still puking. How childish. God.
Speaker 2: I was wondering where the fuck Anton was the one
Speaker 2: day and I'm like, where the fuck is this dude?
Speaker 7: And then left until eight pm.
Speaker 2: He was slept until eight pm. I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: And He's like going to bed eight eight, eight am,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, holy fuck me.
Speaker 4: Even that though, how the fuck does that even happen?
Speaker 4: I know, kind of blackout fucking dungeon do you live in? Like, dude,
Speaker 4: you at eight am? Like you're getting up at like
Speaker 4: one two max, because like that's a lot of sun
Speaker 4: like bellowing into your house.
Speaker 6: By the time the window the sun hits my window
Speaker 6: in my bedroom, it's already like five pm.
Speaker 2: Crazy, You're crazy boy. So, after learning all he could
Speaker 2: from a druid, he returned and after a sudden disappearance
Speaker 2: of a yes, he returned after a sudden disappearance as
Speaker 2: a sorcerer, committed terrible cruelties on those who opposed or
Speaker 2: mocked him. So that's strange.
Speaker 4: The bully kid gets his revenge.
Speaker 7: Normally it requires a coat and a couple of guns.
Speaker 2: Fion mac come hail. That's a good Irish name, Fion
Speaker 2: mac com hail and and spelled.
Speaker 4: Cum tail cum he hails his com or.
Speaker 2: The giants causeway tail. It is said to have confronted him.
Speaker 2: In an effort to stop his cruelty and his tyrannical
Speaker 2: ways of this evil dwarf. He killed the abb the
Speaker 2: abahatash and married him standing upright.
Speaker 4: Oh, they used to do that all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then let ants eat their fucking face.
Speaker 7: That's so unsettling.
Speaker 2: To stop him from returning undead in any form, however,
Speaker 2: he still returned the very next day and rained terror
Speaker 2: on all the people of Ireland at night, drinking the
Speaker 2: blood of his victims. This guy's a straight up Okay,
Speaker 2: a vampire is scary enough, but imagine a midget vampire.
Speaker 6: Isn't that the same thing with Chinese vampires? They're tiny, little, hairy,
Speaker 6: flying bloodsuckers.
Speaker 2: Is that a real thing? Vampire?
Speaker 4: I see a much less intimidated if he wasn't my size.
Speaker 4: He's so cute you.
Speaker 6: Start smacking him out of the air, just getting oversized
Speaker 6: fly swater like no off.
Speaker 4: You get those electric ones? Oh my god, I love those.
Speaker 2: However, he returned the very next day and he rained
Speaker 2: terror so and he killed all these people. And then
Speaker 2: it wasn't until Fion mac cumhail killed him for the
Speaker 2: third time and buried him standing upside down. His fucking
Speaker 2: feet are sticking up, just fucking dangling and fucking kicking
Speaker 2: and ship.
Speaker 7: Because that's where they hide. The jet engines is in
Speaker 7: his feet.
Speaker 6: So if he bury MUMPSI downt he will only go
Speaker 6: deeper into the year.
Speaker 2: What is he fucking.
Speaker 4: Is he? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I was gonna say he fucking Channing Tatum from Jupiter Ascending.
Speaker 7: I didn't see that.
Speaker 2: Who never who sees man The two trannies made that
Speaker 2: movie is great, Yes, and there's reptilian the reptilians. There's
Speaker 2: reptilians in it, like legitimate reptilians.
Speaker 6: It's fucking explains why you've seen it and I haven't
Speaker 6: because I haven't watched anything that's made past Matrix two.
Speaker 2: Watched the Jupiter Ascending. You'll think it's stupid, but it's
Speaker 2: great because changed him flies around in rocket boots.
Speaker 7: Oh my only Potato movie I want to see, and
Speaker 7: that's this is the end.
Speaker 4: You never you never say this is the end.
Speaker 7: Of course I have. I'm just saying, what's up hitting
Speaker 7: Tato's my bitch?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Canable done?
Speaker 7: It's been like three days? What are you talking about?
Speaker 2: You going to say?
Speaker 4: Uh, I forgot the fucking Matrix people turn girls?
Speaker 2: Yeah it's strange.
Speaker 4: Word that was that did not come out right.
Speaker 7: In the body?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it. Or once I eventually get Chelsea to
Speaker 2: watch the original Matrix, we are going to watch the
Speaker 2: newest one and I'll eventually be on on a real
Speaker 2: review for the Patreon. So make sure you subscribe and
Speaker 2: support us keeping this world strange, all you fuckers.
Speaker 7: So you gotta shot on that movie when we review it.
Speaker 2: I probably will too, because I've heard not good things
Speaker 2: from one and I didn't trust one at first, but
Speaker 2: after watching Halloween Kills, I was disappointed. So another more
Speaker 2: Christian version follows a similar story when the ash Felt
Speaker 2: is actual fell to his first death while scaling a
Speaker 2: wall trying to catch his wife and an adulterous situation.
Speaker 2: This little dwarf is climbing up a castle wall, fell
Speaker 2: down and killed himself by attempting to find her in
Speaker 2: the act of adultery.
Speaker 4: Wrong.
Speaker 7: His English movie is about.
Speaker 4: She didn't send her pigeon fast enough and fucking man.
Speaker 2: Peter Dinklish probably does not like me say in the
Speaker 2: M word.
Speaker 7: All I know is that uh what was that one?
Speaker 6: W w E short person wrestler horn swaggle Apparently like
Speaker 6: went on the news and called Peter dnklage aunt.
Speaker 3: Really that's gold because Peter Dinklish got a whole bunch
Speaker 3: of people fired because he's like, you can't have little
Speaker 3: people actors blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, and
Speaker 3: like apparently because he was in Game of Thrones, everybody
Speaker 3: wants to ride his four inch.
Speaker 7: Dick, so fuck him.
Speaker 2: So strange. He seems like a strange individual. He seems
Speaker 2: righteous when being slain after rising back from the dead
Speaker 2: by a hero called caf Hail. He was killed with
Speaker 2: the sword and made of uh killed with a sword.
Speaker 2: It was made of ye would y e w?
Speaker 7: You would? What the U tree?
Speaker 2: What is the you tree? Do you study trees? You know?
Speaker 7: The U tree is how you make how they made
Speaker 7: them longbows.
Speaker 4: I've been working with I've been working with trees since
Speaker 4: like nineteen sixty. What there is.
Speaker 2: There is actually a doll man near the Abba Huttross
Speaker 2: hometown of Oh God slog a tavari Te, Oh God
Speaker 2: slagha Te dude.
Speaker 4: Actually are dude this Actually these are hard times, this.
Speaker 2: Time, these are hard times. Slag slog Tavity. Fucking Irish people.
Speaker 2: And I'm Irish.
Speaker 4: Is that a tavern? It's a city named after a bar.
Speaker 2: I get people get mad when I'm like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: Irish or I'm whatever German because I don't actually live there,
Speaker 2: but it's in my blood somewhere. So the the there's
Speaker 2: actually a dole man near the Abbaha Tash hometown of
Speaker 2: sauh Slavitavity whatever county dairy with a flat top under
Speaker 2: a hawthorn tree, believed to be the grave of one
Speaker 2: of these dwarf creatures. Locals give this a wide birth,
Speaker 2: particularly at night. What's a fucking wide birth?
Speaker 7: Avoid it?
Speaker 4: Oh, I was gonna say, that's when the baby comes
Speaker 4: out sideways.
Speaker 7: Ye did come out sideways.
Speaker 4: I know him right on that, but I was just
Speaker 4: kidding though.
Speaker 6: Ends in half and folds out like a taco and
Speaker 6: then just pops back once.
Speaker 7: The nurse puts water on it like one of those sponges.
Speaker 4: That's fucking hilarious. I want to see a movie with
Speaker 4: somebody doing that, and it's going to create a whole
Speaker 4: generation of people thinking that that's what happens.
Speaker 2: No matter what tail you choose to believe, the tale
Speaker 2: of the Abba Hatash is a scary one and his
Speaker 2: stuff of nightmares and Ireland a story I am glad
Speaker 2: I wasn't aware of as a child. The female equivalent
Speaker 2: is the Dear rag Do, the dear ag Do who
Speaker 2: stands in the shadows deer ag Do?
Speaker 4: Fucking is he actually is? Okay? This time is not
Speaker 4: his fault. These are actually I gotta like stare at
Speaker 4: them for a minute.
Speaker 2: What do you fucking think I do? Every episode? This
Speaker 2: is like there's confusing words of stupid last names.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Who stands in the shadows of the Abba Hatash and
Speaker 2: is less well known? She is said to be cunning,
Speaker 2: a vampire that seduces men before draining them of their blood. Again,
Speaker 2: does she do it through the dick?
Speaker 4: Yes, fox and drinks. She's riding on top and she
Speaker 4: goes to kiss her neck and she's like oh, you're
Speaker 4: lacking blood and she likes it feeling going flacid?
Speaker 6: Do you think it's like when a female fighter likes
Speaker 6: the head off of a male and just shoot your
Speaker 6: entire lifetime worth of a load into him.
Speaker 2: Okay, Jesus, all right, then I gotta smoke up now.
Speaker 4: Oh he's got fucking yeah, he's doing bongs. I'm not.
Speaker 2: Let's do it, and then Anton, you're up on the docket.
Speaker 6: I've got to take a pop off the pikes before
Speaker 6: I go into the next door.
Speaker 2: This is a bad idea.
Speaker 4: Your fucking Irish accent is really good. Can you do
Speaker 4: other ones?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, I can do. I mean, what do you
Speaker 7: vant me to do?
Speaker 6: Do you vant me to put you into the camp
Speaker 6: or do you vant me to stick here and talk
Speaker 6: to you?
Speaker 4: Okay, that one's okay Japanese.
Speaker 7: I can't do it Japanese.
Speaker 2: I try to. He does it.
Speaker 7: Does?
Speaker 4: Look at your face? That's really good too. Your fucking
Speaker 4: Irish one is pretty on point, though.
Speaker 6: Oh thank you kindly. I've been doing it for fucking
Speaker 6: long enough. I'd hope it'd be, you know, somewhat decent
Speaker 6: to this.
Speaker 2: Can you a Spanish accent?
Speaker 7: Spanish Chlo.
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna stay home so I can fucking do it
Speaker 7: your Mexican, I have no fucking idea. I've never been
Speaker 7: to Spain, never, never taught me things.
Speaker 2: She didn't even tell him how to wipe his dick
Speaker 2: after he pissed. Doesn't everybody do that?
Speaker 6: You gotta rip the foreskin off and pull one of
Speaker 6: the disposables off the wall and swim.
Speaker 4: Oh god, that's funny.
Speaker 2: Alright, let's make sure she's clean.
Speaker 8: You guys want to talk about seals that people like
Speaker 8: to fuck? Sure, kind, So then we're gonna go for
Speaker 8: the tail of the silkie, not to be confused with
Speaker 8: an alki, which is the number one nothing that lives
Speaker 8: in Ireland.
Speaker 7: Yes, all right, So these are said to be half human,
Speaker 7: half sealed. All right, I'll read it Irish.
Speaker 6: They are known as the seal folk and part of
Speaker 6: an ancient Tigrish folklore.
Speaker 7: Whoever.
Speaker 6: Tales of these creatures can be found in several other countries,
Speaker 6: including England, Scotland and even as father as Iceland. So
Speaker 6: the celkies have the ability to change from seals to humans.
Speaker 6: They shed their skin, and most prominent description to the
Speaker 6: silky is out of a beautiful young loss.
Speaker 7: In olden times. Oh, look at them titties.
Speaker 6: You know, the the gene is coming up just so
Speaker 6: nicely because it's you know, the seal is gonna stick
Speaker 6: his face in the otherwise and that's that's actually her sister,
Speaker 6: which would be naughty and God would be crying.
Speaker 2: The seal looks like he's down to fuck man.
Speaker 4: And the seals like, damn, that's some fucking that's a body,
Speaker 4: you know what.
Speaker 2: I don't know, Like it's just like mermaids are like
Speaker 2: this is technically a type of what a mermaid could be.
Speaker 2: And I don't know. Everyone's like it's always like, you know,
Speaker 2: the they paint him as sexy and shit like that.
Speaker 2: But like, I guess it's the best option because the
Speaker 2: reverse of it would be ten times worse. Imagine like
Speaker 2: sexy ass legs nice puss, but it's a fish head,
Speaker 2: like it would be scared. You have to like put
Speaker 2: a whole bag over its head, like a burlap sack
Speaker 2: would have to go over it.
Speaker 6: Oh, but isn't the definition of a butterface. You're just like, damn,
Speaker 6: that asks a slamon. But I mean the top of salmon.
Speaker 7: But salmon.
Speaker 2: It's the only the head though, still talking about me.
Speaker 2: But you know, you know, the like it's just it's
Speaker 2: just like a weird concept. Obviously we've talked about mermaids
Speaker 2: before with a weird guy that had on this podcast,
Speaker 2: and you know, it's just it's a weird thing. They
Speaker 2: prodrag you to your death, but they seduce you, like
Speaker 2: I don't think like the tities look good, but like
Speaker 2: I ain't eating that box.
Speaker 4: You know what all is that that whole story of
Speaker 4: mermaids doing that is just uh parallel to the fact
Speaker 4: that in life, women will kill you. Sure, if you
Speaker 4: love a woman, you're gonna die in some sort of way,
Speaker 4: whether it be on the inside or totally.
Speaker 6: So when I was reading this be gay.
Speaker 4: There's a campaign for you, there's a bunch of straight
Speaker 4: guys going, you know what, I think they got it
Speaker 4: right with a kid AND's like, come here, I'll show.
Speaker 7: I've said it before and I'll say it again. Gay
Speaker 7: men suck dick way better than women.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, dude, I know that from watching fucking
Speaker 4: I've watched some gay porns.
Speaker 2: Why to excheck that, No.
Speaker 4: Honestly, it's fucking value. You're curious. I get curious. I
Speaker 4: like to watch things, so I'm just like, fucking you
Speaker 4: know what, and like they go to and I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, nobody's every's ever went to town like that.
Speaker 4: I've never seen even one fucking porn of a woman
Speaker 4: even putting in fifty percent of the effort.
Speaker 2: Unless the guy forces them to.
Speaker 4: That guy, no, even if he does, she's like she's going,
Speaker 4: but she's like crying at the same time.
Speaker 7: But.
Speaker 6: Told me you love me, whereas gay men are just like, yep, yep, no,
Speaker 6: I know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 7: And there you go.
Speaker 4: You were gonna have a fucking blast. Let's let's have
Speaker 4: a good time.
Speaker 6: On the on the flip of that, I would I
Speaker 6: would assume that women are way better at eating pussy.
Speaker 7: Than men are. Oh yeah, for sure, know how to
Speaker 7: treat the motherfuckers.
Speaker 4: So uh, not true?
Speaker 2: What do you mean? Not true? What do you mean?
Speaker 4: What do you mean? I don't want to elaborate, but
Speaker 4: not true.
Speaker 2: I fucking know what you're talking about. You want just
Speaker 2: say it? Why is it a bad thing?
Speaker 4: Well, no, like the specific story is a bad thing, but.
Speaker 7: Not all women.
Speaker 6: But I'm saying in general, if somebody really enjoys doing
Speaker 6: that then.
Speaker 4: Uh so. Actually in my experience though, that is actually
Speaker 4: a question that I've asked a lot of people. And
Speaker 4: if you've realized when you talk to girls, like there's
Speaker 4: a good like honestly, like if I had to put
Speaker 4: a number, dude, that's say a good like thirty percent
Speaker 4: of all females are by. Yeah, it's it's everybody like
Speaker 4: they all a lot of people are attracted to the
Speaker 4: female body, Like it's just honestly, it's more visually appealing
Speaker 4: than the male body. Wrong, it really is.
Speaker 2: I agree with you on that I would prefer to
Speaker 2: have a dick.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, one hundred percent. Uh to each their owne
Speaker 4: but like in general that is the case. So every time,
Speaker 4: like I've been in I've been in this situation about
Speaker 4: five six and every single time is like they suck.
Speaker 2: They just tell you that they suck.
Speaker 4: They're like they were so bad.
Speaker 6: Well, how many of those women just think that they
Speaker 6: are and then aren't actually enthusiastic about doing it and
Speaker 6: they're like, I'm doing this because like you're probably say.
Speaker 4: That I'm by You're probably right, Yeah, probably about five
Speaker 4: percent of those thirty I think the.
Speaker 6: Biggest difference is that like if a dude is just
Speaker 6: like I'm by and then somebody goes to do something
Speaker 6: and they're not getting hard, that's kind of an immediate like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, at.
Speaker 4: Least fake it that. But that's like, oh yeah, I'm
Speaker 4: definitely that being said as being naked on both genders,
Speaker 4: Like you can have the hottest guy and the hottest
Speaker 4: girl and like ninety nine percent of people are going
Speaker 4: to say that girl looks better just physically appealing better.
Speaker 2: We're gonna have to do. This will be a preview
Speaker 2: into the live special that is coming up.
Speaker 4: Guys are gross, Like we're all gross. We all know
Speaker 4: we're gross. Like I don't know why my mic I
Speaker 4: don't know why you're on you. I'm smart, man, But
Speaker 4: they're so nice about it. They're like, yeah, like you, yeah,
Speaker 4: like you're smart.
Speaker 6: You should see me when I'm so not nice about it,
Speaker 6: but they're passive aggressive about it.
Speaker 7: It comes up three weeks later when you thought it
Speaker 7: was head.
Speaker 2: I just don't give a fuck, and I'd make jokes
Speaker 2: and it's inappropriate. I don't know, that's my guess. Or
Speaker 2: I have blue eyes and they're like that's cool and
Speaker 2: do you have a beard? Really can't grow a beard.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I got high.
Speaker 4: I got a dirty bush.
Speaker 2: He has like huge fucking bush, like it pops out
Speaker 2: of his pants. Sometimes we're hanging out, like when him
Speaker 2: and Alex are boxing, I just see kind of a
Speaker 2: little bit of fucking It looks like Barney fred fucking
Speaker 2: Flintstone's hair.
Speaker 6: Not actually fucking can we get can we get a
Speaker 6: manscaped sponsorship over here?
Speaker 7: Please?
Speaker 2: Know what's that one called?
Speaker 4: Everybody hated me until I trim my pubes, and then
Speaker 4: suddenly I was popular.
Speaker 2: He had a dick hiding between a fuck literally like
Speaker 2: fucking eight inch wall of fucking hair.
Speaker 4: I oosed to only think I had three inches. It
Speaker 4: turns out there's fourteen.
Speaker 7: It's all curled up like a pigtail.
Speaker 2: For some All right, that's you.
Speaker 7: I want to get back to the selkie sure, all right.
Speaker 6: So sailors would often hide the skins of selkies in
Speaker 6: order to coerce the female selkies into marriage. The marriage
Speaker 6: always begins beautifully, with the couple settling and having children
Speaker 6: together with.
Speaker 7: A love and a cottage down by the seaside.
Speaker 6: Usually usually end in heartbreak as the selki eventually finds
Speaker 6: their lost seal skin and returns to the sea. In
Speaker 6: Irish folklore, the tale of the carry man who married
Speaker 6: a sea creature is told it by some as being
Speaker 6: a selkie rather than a marrow.
Speaker 7: Another tale tells.
Speaker 6: Of how the Connolly clan of Connemara were descended from seals,
Speaker 6: and so it was forbidden for them to kill the
Speaker 6: animals lest they fall victim to a lifetime of bad
Speaker 6: look So was.
Speaker 4: The skin after they peeled it off, just like hanging
Speaker 4: around on the beach or something like.
Speaker 7: A set of clothes. Yeah, so the sailor.
Speaker 6: When the when the sailors would would find a selkie
Speaker 6: and they would go into female form, they.
Speaker 7: Were strapped on the shore.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so then they would just hide the skin so
Speaker 6: they couldn't crawl back into it. I was reading this
Speaker 6: and reading about the marrow and stuff made me think,
Speaker 6: you think, after just sailors having nothing else, but other
Speaker 6: sailors just started jerking off the wildlife.
Speaker 2: Well, no, one hundred percent. Remember that idea that that
Speaker 2: those pirates swore they saw mermaids and they were probably
Speaker 2: loosening it with seals on on these rocks and they're
Speaker 2: fucking tripping out. It's fine. I'm high as ship, so
Speaker 2: that's okay.
Speaker 7: One puff Gordon lightweight, Jesus, I smoked all day.
Speaker 2: I'm not you puffing all the fucking time. I took
Speaker 2: one bit.
Speaker 7: Smoking on the pipe the whole time.
Speaker 2: Uh, try hitting a bong, sir. But as I was saying,
Speaker 2: but you don't know what matlage is, I'm bringing it
Speaker 2: back to the pirates again because we're talking about briback
Speaker 2: maidleedge is the pretty much we're best friends on the sea.
Speaker 4: We oh yeah, yeah, yeah, they.
Speaker 2: Would get married because they had no one else. They're
Speaker 2: on the sea all the time, so they already were
Speaker 2: buckfucking each other and having a good time, and they're
Speaker 2: hanging out and like being really good friends.
Speaker 4: Might as well find love, so might.
Speaker 2: As well be like, well, I got no one else
Speaker 2: to be with, so, and you're you're the only one
Speaker 2: here other than these twenty other guys.
Speaker 4: So that one guy just swims off in the ocean channing.
Speaker 4: Tatum's just in the ocean beside the boat, just he's like,
Speaker 4: I'm going for my cross Atlantic swim. And then you're like, oh,
Speaker 4: why don't you come up for a rest? And then
Speaker 4: all those marriages go to shit.
Speaker 2: Do you do you do you think that? Do you
Speaker 2: think that that? Like there was male mermaids that the
Speaker 2: pirates would get seduced by, and they were like, man,
Speaker 2: that fucking mermaid sucked my dick better than the woman
Speaker 2: one did earlier.
Speaker 4: That actually makes me well.
Speaker 7: But again, you have the same problem of a mermaid.
Speaker 6: It's like there's no dick for you to ride or
Speaker 6: for you to fucking suck.
Speaker 2: It's but they suck you.
Speaker 6: It's in a couple of hands with a nice chisel
Speaker 6: chest from swimming so much.
Speaker 4: I'm just picturing like an actual dude, like on a
Speaker 4: voyage across the land, he'd be like, Yo, guys, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna jump off here, there's a good rock to go
Speaker 4: sit on, wait till the next ship. It's like fourteen days.
Speaker 4: But he's sitting there and he brought us lunch. He's like,
Speaker 4: I'm still good. Like he sees a ship, he's like, yo,
Speaker 4: you know, fuck.
Speaker 3: You guys, pick me up.
Speaker 7: Just chick his thumb out.
Speaker 4: Just the ship's like, don't look.
Speaker 7: If we don't make guy, he gone? Is he gone?
Speaker 2: When last thing him on the ship. Imagine the smell
Speaker 2: of the men on that boat that you would have
Speaker 2: to fuck because in Irish folklore has said that a
Speaker 2: mysterious creature inhabits the lights of killing Billy.
Speaker 7: I've always wanted to do this while you were on
Speaker 7: the show. Hang on, what's that group?
Speaker 4: Strange?
Speaker 2: Kill Arnie, kill Arnie, kill Arnie.
Speaker 7: Right, that's better than the other one. What the fuck? Uh?
Speaker 2: Kill Arnie?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Killarney, Jesus christ Man Irish words, man, fucking me up,
Speaker 2: me up?
Speaker 6: Say it drunken and slurred, Kilarney, Calarney, it's probing Kilarney,
Speaker 6: it's Killerny.
Speaker 4: Does does that?
Speaker 2: Doesn't that mucky sound like a racial slur? Yeah?
Speaker 7: It does, it really does.
Speaker 6: You don't be bringing that goddamn mukey into this house anymore.
Speaker 6: You're making your poor mother cry every goddamn night.
Speaker 2: And two thousand and three sign is conducted sonar scans
Speaker 2: the lakes found around found a large solid mass in
Speaker 2: the water, and it obviously it fueled UH speculation that
Speaker 2: Ireland has its own lackness monster, so fucking weird and coming, but.
Speaker 7: Doesn't ask for tree Fitty. Then it ain't a Locknesse monster.
Speaker 4: That's what it has.
Speaker 2: He came up. He knocked on the door.
Speaker 4: What do you want about?
Speaker 7: What about that time?
Speaker 6: Did I realize that podcast told us was about eight stories?
Speaker 7: And I said, God damn it, mass So we worked
Speaker 7: for all money in this house. We aren't giving away
Speaker 7: no goddamn tree fit.
Speaker 2: He said, well keep it you did.
Speaker 7: Why don't wonder he keep coming back?
Speaker 2: What were you keep having him?
Speaker 4: Don t you got three fitty the first time? Of
Speaker 4: course it's going to keep coming back, and we give
Speaker 4: us three?
Speaker 7: You said, well how about you two? And I said,
Speaker 7: what is there a sale? Un luckness esus?
Speaker 2: Okay, everyone stopped this. I know so I don't know
Speaker 2: if that's fine. That's the thing I should I say,
Speaker 2: it's controversial. The name comes from three lakes? Well did
Speaker 2: you hear Anton's accent? The name?
Speaker 7: You and chefs stand there's nothing racial about that? You follow?
Speaker 4: It's fucking so far We're fine.
Speaker 7: He did it, and they're widely accepted.
Speaker 4: Okay, probably market.
Speaker 7: Little crackers, just as the Dickens.
Speaker 2: Okay, stop that the name comes from one of the
Speaker 2: three lakes. Muck Ross and Sightings have been suggested being
Speaker 2: a pair of seals. Of course they're fucking seals. What
Speaker 2: else can it be? Their fucking seals.
Speaker 7: Fucking seals, dude, why you copy my story? My story
Speaker 7: was about fucking I know.
Speaker 2: Why is this happening again?
Speaker 7: All right, guys, drop me on that rock. I'm gonna
Speaker 7: go fuck that seal.
Speaker 2: You up next, fucker, So more.
Speaker 7: Stories are fucking my god. The Irish love fucking what.
Speaker 6: London Shade is a beautiful spirit, often female, with great
Speaker 6: big gazungas.
Speaker 7: She seduces them more to lover.
Speaker 6: She or he is a dangerous muse it just got
Speaker 6: gay all of a sudden, whose lovers devote themselves to
Speaker 6: the spirit in exchange for a short lived but remarkable
Speaker 6: artistic life.
Speaker 4: You know, only the.
Speaker 6: Good die young and other terrible billy Joel songs. So
Speaker 6: the London Shade are considered vampiric, feeding in their lover's
Speaker 6: lives so they can live in their stead. Any artists
Speaker 6: have wasted away, often dying young, unless they can convince
Speaker 6: another Marshall to take their place. However, if the artist
Speaker 6: refuses a Lenin Shide, the spirit becomes their slave, and
Speaker 6: not a dark skinned one either, a light skinned one.
Speaker 7: When you feel good about having.
Speaker 4: In that wow wow in Irish, Oh, my fucking god.
Speaker 6: That's a that's a callback to a nice little known
Speaker 6: historical fact that most house slaves were of Irish descent
Speaker 6: in the American South.
Speaker 4: So it's yeah, history people history.
Speaker 6: So in Irish folklore, the Lane and Sea is one
Speaker 6: of the AOC people are the mounds uh so related
Speaker 6: to the Banshee uh And the name in Gaelic means sweetheart,
Speaker 6: lover or concubi, not to be confused with suckuby or incubi.
Speaker 2: Concubines is someone you fucking hang out with. The fuck right.
Speaker 6: Concubie, I believe is the person who bears your young
Speaker 6: I might be mistaken on that.
Speaker 2: Coming next year. I'm gonna wait a year, so what.
Speaker 4: Can have access to it? That's a big build up.
Speaker 2: But all of the specials will be on Patreon and
Speaker 2: you'll have to hit your balls. Yeah ye know that.
Speaker 7: That's like, that's like edging so much that you're gonna
Speaker 7: tear something when you come.
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, like that was hot. That that might kill you.
Speaker 2: I want to I want to get people.
Speaker 7: You want to or not at that point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want people to do expose as much as often.
Speaker 2: All right, let's get back into this this is definitely
Speaker 2: raw cuts. Everybody rock cuts.
Speaker 7: Speaking of things we're not offering up as information on air.
Speaker 4: Fun back to the day, calm blood, can it happens? Probably?
Speaker 7: Yo, you look you.
Speaker 2: Know what you look like? You look like a drunken,
Speaker 2: irish gay boy. George. That was the idea.
Speaker 6: I put the stuff on the hat.
Speaker 2: I did. I fucking as soon as I as soon
Speaker 2: as that thing fell off your head, I was like, man,
Speaker 2: he looks like fucking really gay actually is when bored
Speaker 2: George gay is.
Speaker 6: Really weird, George a full spectrum of sexuality, apparently, I
Speaker 6: don't know.
Speaker 2: Fear gotter is Gorda, okay, flear or gotta. It's a
Speaker 2: fear Gorda. There's a fucking r Gorda. I said, yes,
Speaker 2: gotta catch them all. Fear gotta got fear gordon God damnitu.
Speaker 2: A fear Gorda is said to be abandoned corpse with
Speaker 2: grayish green skin, deathly long, dirty nails, and often with
Speaker 2: rotting flesh or flesh is flesh missing.
Speaker 4: All right, so they wouldn't stand out at all. They're
Speaker 4: just like ha ha, George, Yo, mister gotta.
Speaker 2: Gorda.
Speaker 4: I know, I regret.
Speaker 2: And then suppose we partially missed, uh, partially on the
Speaker 2: cheek bones. There's flesh missing missing. It is said, usually clothed,
Speaker 2: but in rags. The fear gor is also known as
Speaker 2: a man of hunger or famine. But I saw a
Speaker 2: woman in that image we showed. Now, I guess throw
Speaker 2: a man. Maybe that's a woman.
Speaker 4: Ah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: He's got that guy's got a beard. That guy looks
Speaker 2: really angry. All right, fuck it? So uh. The Fear
Speaker 2: of Gord Gorta is also a man of hunger and famine.
Speaker 2: Walks the earth at times of famine, seeking alms from
Speaker 2: pastor buyers. Those who pay alms, Yeah, yeah, you're looking
Speaker 2: for handout. People who hand out ship to him are
Speaker 2: blessed by him.
Speaker 4: So yeah, he's this.
Speaker 2: Fleshy, gross looking creature that looks like a zombie and
Speaker 2: people are He sits there like a fucking panhandler and
Speaker 2: sits there waiting for people to give him shit, and
Speaker 2: they do. He blesses them. I don't want get blessed.
Speaker 7: By the Bullburnham joke. If I had a dollar dollar
Speaker 7: for every time a homeless person asked me for trage,
Speaker 7: I'd still say.
Speaker 2: No, that's funny, but like you know, it's this. It
Speaker 2: was that it's a fucking dude with lepers see on
Speaker 2: the side of the road, and then you yeah, and
Speaker 2: then you give him fucking some change and then he
Speaker 2: fucking blesses you. Like, Okay, I just wanted to help
Speaker 2: you out, buddy. I don't even.
Speaker 7: Boil off and puts it on you.
Speaker 2: That that's fucking grass. But those who do not are cursed.
Speaker 2: So if you don't give him, ship, your cursed till
Speaker 2: the end of their days with eternal hunger, poverty, and
Speaker 2: bad luck. Sounds very irish. During the Great Famine of
Speaker 2: eighteen forties, the tail of the fear Gorda emerged, where
Speaker 2: it was said that he rose from patches of hungry grass.
Speaker 4: Grass. It's like a hungry bob, but it's hungry grass.
Speaker 4: The grass is eating itself.
Speaker 7: Why don't you come over here and take a picnic
Speaker 7: in me? Hey, I haven't had a nick and me
Speaker 7: in a while. Sets you, sets your basket in your
Speaker 7: blanket down. No, you're gonna eat me?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 7: No, get out of here. No, I'm not I'm not
Speaker 7: hungry grass. I'm just grass. Yeah, all right, If you're not,
Speaker 7: I'm this grass.
Speaker 4: If you're not gonna pick a nick, you need to
Speaker 4: give me like three fit.
Speaker 7: All right, let's go on, how about just a book fitting?
Speaker 2: What do you got anton I got its skin or
Speaker 2: else gets the hose agains? What do you have?
Speaker 7: It does this whenever it is told a.
Speaker 2: Big fat lady. Okay, say it again.
Speaker 4: She was?
Speaker 7: She was? She a big fat trick all right.
Speaker 6: So these are basically like weird giant sea creature, god
Speaker 6: destructor things, also known as like latent demons.
Speaker 7: Yeah, these fucking nasty bastards.
Speaker 9: Which that picture is kind of weird because it reminds
Speaker 9: me a much more of a troll because they A
Speaker 9: lot of the Limorians are said to have three eyes,
Speaker 9: so they had one that was actually prominent chemically burned.
Speaker 2: I thought it was Moorian.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Morian.
Speaker 6: So it's a supernatural race in Iris mythology, often portrayed
Speaker 6: as hostile and monstrous beings who come from under the
Speaker 6: sea or in the earth.
Speaker 7: They have a kind of almost like feel about them.
Speaker 4: Oh dude, I saw a fucking tree branch the other day,
Speaker 4: Like it was it was like one of the roots
Speaker 4: and it was like coming out of the ground that
Speaker 4: looked like a vagina, and I really wanted to fuck
Speaker 4: it just so I could say I fucked the earth.
Speaker 7: So why didn't you?
Speaker 4: Because my girlfriend was with me and I made the
Speaker 4: joke and she laughed, and I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: we're not serious.
Speaker 6: So you guys aren't the cool couple that like she'll
Speaker 6: go over there and prime it up by rubbing that
Speaker 6: tree's clit and then she'll.
Speaker 7: Be like, all right, she's ready for you, billy.
Speaker 4: I just she thought I was kidding, and then and
Speaker 4: then I and then I bitched out.
Speaker 6: I was like, oh, yeah, that tree took the time
Speaker 6: to show you it's vagina, But.
Speaker 4: There was no hole though, I'd need like a drill
Speaker 4: or something. My Dick's not made a fucking kryptonite.
Speaker 7: Well not with that fucking attitude.
Speaker 4: It's not I mean, like it's kryptonite powerful, but like
Speaker 4: not like that. Oh it's different. It's not like a drill.
Speaker 7: Isn't kryptonite only powerful against Superman.
Speaker 4: Kryptonites, isn't, Well, that's crypt kryptonite Superman's weakness. Kryptonite's like
Speaker 4: a like a crystal. I thought it was more like
Speaker 4: a nuclear thing.
Speaker 7: It might be radioactive, you remember, right, yeah.
Speaker 2: Fuck, I was looking for where I save these pictures,
Speaker 2: and you guys are just going off. It's a great
Speaker 2: conversation about Superman, all right, So okay, it's.
Speaker 4: A good sidetracking.
Speaker 2: Quickly, I know, I got stone and it went all
Speaker 2: out the window. Where the fuck are we?
Speaker 4: What are we talking?
Speaker 2: Don't worry that.
Speaker 6: Apparently the first race of men that uh that that
Speaker 6: inhabited Ireland after the flood the uh the Hyperborean flood,
Speaker 6: the flood.
Speaker 2: I don't know, one of those floods.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so what They were the first to invade Ireland
Speaker 6: after the flood, but the Flomorians were already there. They
Speaker 6: were almost like an elder race or an elder race
Speaker 6: that had occupied the island well before man ever showed up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. These creatures look like they beat their wife furiously.
Speaker 7: They were led by a being known as people.
Speaker 2: Hunch okay that game sorry.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 6: They lived they lived primarily on fish and foul so
Speaker 6: Parthlon was the leader of the humans.
Speaker 7: He showed up, defeated these guys in battle, but then
Speaker 7: was wiped up by the plague later on.
Speaker 6: So that was where the videos started going into the
Speaker 6: uh why white Jews and Fomorians didn't get along because
Speaker 6: Jews were not actually Hyperboreans.
Speaker 7: They were mixed race.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, now, oh that sounds really bad
Speaker 2: and it almost sounds as bad as uh it's read.
Speaker 4: I don't want to make Why does that sound bad?
Speaker 4: I don't want to make fun It literally sounds like
Speaker 4: saying the word mixed race.
Speaker 2: No, I just don't want to make funny.
Speaker 6: David Ike, dude, the video that I'm talking about too
Speaker 6: had over two hundred and fifty thousand views.
Speaker 2: How many likes? Did it?
Speaker 7: Point? Nine thousand likes?
Speaker 2: Wow? Wow? Wow?
Speaker 7: So you got yeah, that's that's that's about it.
Speaker 2: Did you have any more? How many more do you have?
Speaker 7: I thought that was all we grabbed. I told you
Speaker 7: I had four?
Speaker 2: All right, I have one more? Okay, I have the puka.
Speaker 4: Oh, the puzza.
Speaker 2: This one's my favorite by far.
Speaker 7: Yeah, the pooka.
Speaker 4: Gets that.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, what's what is that about things just carrying?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 6: The pooka clarification now puzza oh oh puta Yeah yeah,
Speaker 6: Jesus fucking Christ.
Speaker 4: Fucking guys, what is puta?
Speaker 7: Acted like?
Speaker 6: I'm not fucking three beers and twelve bong hits steep.
Speaker 2: That one bong head did fuck me up, so you
Speaker 2: know what? All right? So the pooka are creatures of
Speaker 2: Irish floor and words come from the Irish for spirit
Speaker 2: or ghosts. These Irish mythical creatures are shape shifting fairies
Speaker 2: and can take appearance of a horse, a goat, a dog,
Speaker 2: or a cat or a hare. Most images I've seen
Speaker 2: are are of rabbits. I love sloths. In grade six,
Speaker 2: I did a project about sloths because I just really
Speaker 2: wanted to make was making a joke. Essentially, I was like,
Speaker 2: what's the literally Google? I don't know if Google exists
Speaker 2: at this time, but I was like, what's the laziest creature?
Speaker 4: It definitely did not did not exist at that time.
Speaker 2: We used the Internet. I know that.
Speaker 4: Google exists, and when I was like grade six, I
Speaker 4: think it came out we.
Speaker 2: Were using the Internet. Yes, Anton, Anton is mimicking a sloth.
Speaker 4: I looked up with it off a big sloth mode.
Speaker 2: It it's no, I'm climbing.
Speaker 4: I don't care.
Speaker 2: Has anyone seen Zootopia? Yeah, they have that fucking sloth
Speaker 2: and he's like, give me secket. It's like, everyone's funny.
Speaker 2: As fucks though I don't.
Speaker 7: Give a shoot super slow laugh that he does.
Speaker 2: That's fucking stupid. I used to like to lost. So
Speaker 2: they can also take the take on human form and
Speaker 2: with some animal features such as ears or tails. They're
Speaker 2: described as having white or dark fur hair and harbins
Speaker 2: our heart. They're harbingers of both good and evil and
Speaker 2: fortune and can help or hinder rule and marine communities.
Speaker 2: So they they have a fondness for trickery and often
Speaker 2: entice humans to ride on their back upon where they
Speaker 2: give them a wild ride and terrifying journey for dropping
Speaker 2: them off where they can't be picked up.
Speaker 4: You think that's a fucking mechanical bowl and the guy's
Speaker 4: a dick, and I that'd.
Speaker 6: Be like if you encountered some weird mythological creature that
Speaker 6: was like, I will take you on the journey of
Speaker 6: a lifetime.
Speaker 7: I can fly and will take you anywhere. It takes
Speaker 7: you all the way up and then.
Speaker 6: Just like, oh, by the way, it doesn't drop you
Speaker 6: to your death, but like leaves you on the side
Speaker 6: of a cliff somewhere like but the fuck, dude, thanks,
Speaker 6: I'm I'm not going anywhere now, apparently, And I hope
Speaker 6: that things coming back.
Speaker 2: So an Irish folklore is said to the rider ken
Speaker 2: tame a puka. But if they wear sharp spurs to
Speaker 2: prevent them themselves from being taken or to actually know
Speaker 2: from being taken or the stinked.
Speaker 6: I don't know the U That movie with Liam Neeson
Speaker 6: wasn't called took ye.
Speaker 2: Stir the creature if it's already on his back?
Speaker 4: Actually, fucking quick, fuck your story? Is it hung or hanged?
Speaker 2: Already discussed this all right, so past I'm right?
Speaker 7: No, you were right?
Speaker 6: So hang it refers to hanging a picture. Yeah, uh
Speaker 6: and uh, hanged is.
Speaker 7: The man was hanged last week for his crimes, but.
Speaker 2: That we talked about hung too. Hung is also fucking
Speaker 2: a real thing?
Speaker 4: No, hung was.
Speaker 6: Hong is referring to inanimate objects or in American it
Speaker 6: was more you'll be hung by the neck until dead,
Speaker 6: and old English it was you'll be hanged by the
Speaker 6: neck until dead.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so hanged. I don't. I'm well aware of that.
Speaker 4: I'm well aware that I googled what was correct. I'm
Speaker 4: well aware that Google thinks I'm wrong, Like I just
Speaker 4: want like personal opinions. Does that not sound right? Oh no, no, no,
Speaker 4: but no I wasn't because you just said he.
Speaker 7: Says hung ya hung only applies to inanimate.
Speaker 2: Yes, and Philly constantly corrects me.
Speaker 4: I say hung for for people because you should hang. No, no, no,
Speaker 4: he says hanged.
Speaker 2: And remember how often he corrects me. Were We just
Speaker 2: talked about this in our chat, bro.
Speaker 4: Like, I get it, I understand that like actual English,
Speaker 4: I'm not correct. I just want like a personal opinion
Speaker 4: about the fact that that sounds ridiculous.
Speaker 7: I agree, yeah, I gotta agree.
Speaker 4: I'm not much more like he was he was hung,
Speaker 4: he was hung, No, he was hanged. He had a
Speaker 4: big man like that was fucking stupid. Fuck you.
Speaker 7: But like, actually my mind goes to hung when like
Speaker 7: I'm you know, but it's like.
Speaker 4: But that's hate. That's not an ananimate object. That's a
Speaker 4: fucking human body part. We're using that word for.
Speaker 6: It seems the same rule of grammar applies to lay
Speaker 6: and lie.
Speaker 7: Like oh, I'm gonna go lay down. It's like you're
Speaker 7: gonna lay down a towel, like you lie down, you
Speaker 7: don't lay down.
Speaker 4: You know what?
Speaker 2: This hat reminds me of Popkail, Popkail.
Speaker 6: I need that I need that clip just you like,
Speaker 6: go back and rewatch that that was gold.
Speaker 2: Uh for all the listeners on the audio, I'm wearing
Speaker 2: a stupid little fucking hat. It's ridiculous, all right.
Speaker 6: That made him look like a rider from Dracula.
Speaker 2: Whytch you wear that stupid little hat. So in Irish
Speaker 2: folklore is said that well, if you have spurs on
Speaker 2: your like if you have cowboy boots on for some reason,
Speaker 2: you are you're able to tame this thing which is strange,
Speaker 2: and you can sear it and you can do some
Speaker 2: weird things with it. And it has been said that
Speaker 2: only a man, the only man oh to ride the
Speaker 2: pukah was Brian Uru, the last king of Ireland, Brian Adams.
Speaker 4: Of course, the.
Speaker 2: Last king of Ireland was named Brian.
Speaker 6: You guys confirm whether the Canadian National Government has apologized
Speaker 6: for Brian.
Speaker 7: Adams or not.
Speaker 4: Hey, there's nothing wrong with Oh there is.
Speaker 2: Have you seen the life of Brian? You need to
Speaker 2: watch that ship. The puka is often associated with sam
Speaker 2: Haynes the harvest festivals, when crops are brought in. Anything
Speaker 2: remaining in the fields is deemed to be for the
Speaker 2: puka and inedible for humans. Some farmers would leave a
Speaker 2: portion of the crop out for the puka to placate it.
Speaker 2: That's weird, so they ate it. I guess.
Speaker 7: So it's a harvest spirit.
Speaker 2: Then, yes, the puka has other tales associated where they're
Speaker 2: referring to obviously different stories of the maybe like of
Speaker 2: poetry and music and more. You may refer to him
Speaker 2: as puka or fuka. Also sounds like some.
Speaker 4: You know what, I just looked the entire time. Isa, No,
Speaker 4: it's puka. Look at the symbol over the years.
Speaker 2: I don't give a fucking ship.
Speaker 4: It's p u c a, that's pooka paah.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's most the spellings. Is a puka, which I'm
Speaker 2: actually saying it right then, but it has the symbol,
Speaker 2: so it's.
Speaker 7: After dark horror movie called puka.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, this assemble makes an a sound.
Speaker 2: You think I give a ship, I'm not. I didn't
Speaker 2: go to French school. I hate French people. Fuck you
Speaker 2: Quebecians called Quebecua, and I call Quebecians all the time, Cabeca.
Speaker 2: You want to be here on fucking place, go ahead,
Speaker 2: we'll cut you off. Man, get a big saw just
Speaker 2: to kick you on the ocean when you can take
Speaker 2: fing Trudeau's ass with you.
Speaker 7: Trudeau, so maybe you might want to join them.
Speaker 4: You know what, with all those fucking nonsense going on,
Speaker 4: I think it's time for something. I think you know
Speaker 4: what I think When you all sit down for a
Speaker 4: fucking minute, have a detail, it's time for billy fun
Speaker 4: fact day.
Speaker 2: My neighbors fucking hate you.
Speaker 4: I don't care. Grow up? Uh, you guys don't how
Speaker 4: like dogs can smell cancer? Like you knew that one, right,
Speaker 4: I knew that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, bees can smell bombs.
Speaker 2: What bongs? I can smell bombs?
Speaker 4: If you thought that was impressive. Bees are able to
Speaker 4: detect bombs with their tongues, so it's not smelling. Sorry,
Speaker 4: let meaphrase that they can detect bombs. Uh. Just as
Speaker 4: law enforcements uses dogs to sniffet explosives, bees can be
Speaker 4: trained to associate the scent with receiving food as a reward.
Speaker 4: So when when bee handlers sees it's uh, prospotics, they
Speaker 4: know that they've gotten a bomb in their hand.
Speaker 2: What's that?
Speaker 4: Prospotus? Can you tell me what is that's like a skill?
Speaker 2: Prospots, Yes it is it Spartacus's brother.
Speaker 4: It's a skill. But okay, essentially, but yeah, yeah it's
Speaker 4: not nuts. They can be trained that way. It's not natural.
Speaker 4: I definitely, I definitely let into that segue a little different,
Speaker 4: but yeah, they can be trained that way. Not cool
Speaker 4: A good fun fact, isn't that kind of cool? Hell yeah,
Speaker 4: that's kind of cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this was pretty interesting for everyone, uh that's
Speaker 2: listening on the audio and that people at too into
Speaker 2: the YouTube. There will be a raw cut episode up
Speaker 2: on the Patreon. So for everyone that eventually, you know,
Speaker 2: even next year, you want to, you know, jump on
Speaker 2: you wait for the Irish Times, jump on the Patreon
Speaker 2: because all the episodes will be up there. That are
Speaker 2: all the specials. But you get you'll get going for
Speaker 2: when we're doing specials, you'll get rock cuts because I'll
Speaker 2: even cut some of the ship out of the YouTube.
Speaker 4: You want a rock cut, you can't be in your
Speaker 4: tom I'm not even cut.
Speaker 2: I'm cut a more fun facts. I could keep going.
Speaker 4: Circus. So I guess it's gonna be a glorious zoriou
Speaker 4: this moment for me when I went that course, it
Speaker 4: is but another big horse again. I did not take
Speaker 4: my man said, I.
Speaker 7: Said, I don't want to.
Speaker 4: Really like this, Geralds look nights for China.
Speaker 2: I'm not crazy.
Speaker 4: You just did here. She had something internet little apisode.
Speaker 7: I've been right on tender.
Speaker 2: Must have been my waiter.
Speaker 4: I know I'm a tack at least minus bigger. Go
Speaker 4: inside venture pucture her liver and I get here now
Speaker 4: pacing around the house, standing up her phone saying, Dad,
Speaker 4: I want to come home.
Speaker 2: Give me. It's Billy and I think he might have
Speaker 2: gone crazy.
Speaker 4: He just keeps screaming at me.
Speaker 7: Calling me lady, what the fuck is.
Speaker 4: Wrong with him? He's been humping the couch for like
Speaker 4: thirty minutes out saying get the punk out my loane time,
Speaker 4: But he's not in my mind, pulled his drawers down
Speaker 4: and did a reach around all on himself and them.
Speaker 2: Shawn mother fuck at his service. Ship a bottle on
Speaker 2: the cat first place, don't square.
Speaker 4: Because if you squeeze it, it's gonna.
Speaker 2: Be a lot of panty and booby.
Speaker 4: It's none of a meet us on.
Speaker 2: That's one way to clean it.
Speaker 4: Another way would be to use dumps. We got that
Speaker 4: barn soap, give you a body roll. Why don't we
Speaker 4: both adjust it.
Speaker 2: Down on the couch.
Speaker 4: And we can go one out. I'm like, wha, open
Speaker 4: the door.
Speaker 7: This is Story's father.
Speaker 2: I know you're right in there, really getting hold you
Speaker 2: with my daughter. Don't ignore me A can that door?
Speaker 2: Run the hinges showing me kissing the fore resc is
Speaker 2: my witness. You'll be pissing blooding Homer as he's running
Speaker 2: from my car looking the car great.
Speaker 1: You'll never be between my Donty's lags way and your
Speaker 1: dick is dark meat.
Speaker 2: You're be wishing not a worst car mask, Kandi. Your
Speaker 2: buddy will be.
Speaker 7: Found no good of my laundry get away like coaching a.
Speaker 4: Cla won't fit on me.
Speaker 2: And you're probably hiding in the closet like God, Kelly,
Speaker 2: think on the right way.
Speaker 1: It's tryna start yelling you sitty little fucks like a
Speaker 1: y just waiting to him.
Speaker 7: Am I crying a blast? Did you just shoot me
Speaker 7: on my pants and full of duty?
Speaker 4: Man?
Speaker 2: Fuck, you're ruddy spending a blase look at dog lugging
Speaker 2: looking conscious hands seven is only getting and your tis
Speaker 2: cans there with turner stand is this cons can no way?
Speaker 5: Knowing I don't know.
Speaker 2: Where I'm going and if I'm playing on this concess
Speaker 2: in the end of my story.
Speaker 4: But you know it, you know I lost Alady.
Speaker 2: Fucking Dick looking at a him and sci