Speaker 1: Hello, friends from across the nation and around the world.
I'm Martin, and you are listening to what has to
be one of the most reliable bedtime stories podcasts ever created,
Dad's Bedtime Stories. Bedtime never stops, so neither do I. Tonight,
we're going to be diving back into the world of
Lilian the Pizza Witch, which I did one episode of before,
about a witch who gains her powers by eating different
kinds of pizza, and so far, she went through her
original trial and she gained the power of telekinesis, allowing
her to fly out of broom, of course, and along
with her cat companion, she's now going to go on
her other trials. This suggestion originally came to me in
my Google form from someone named Lilian no surprise, and
since I published it, I have been having people ask
me for part two, so I thought I would finally
do part two tonight. If you haven't listened to part one,
you're welcome to do that first, or honestly, I just
explained the whole thing. She's got telekinesis already and she's
about to go get other powers, so you could probably
listen from here too. Before we get started, I just
want to do my normal Sunday shoutouts to my latest
Patreon sponsors. First of all, thank you to Bronson ten
years old and Remy six years old, as well as
their adult Jess for supporting the podcast. That means a lot.
Next up, thank you to Mike and his probably his
mystery kids, unless Mike is the kid, just let me
know and I'll give them a shout out. Next up,
thank you to Sage and Rory. I really appreciate you
guys sponsoring the podcast on Patreon. And last for tonight anyway,
thank you to Colton and Sirnda from the Sunshine Coast
in Australia for sponsoring the podcast. But now it's that
time again, after a possible interruption from a possible sponsor.
Was there one? Did you get a sponsor there? Anyways?
Speaker 2: Time to close your eyes, get as comfy as you
can in that bed, and imagine yourself doing what the
kid in the story does.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: As I explained before, when we left Lilian last, she
had just eaten a pizza that gave her the power
of telekinesis, and she went to bed dreaming of flying
around on her broom and uh, of course pizza. She
thought about pizza a lot. When morning came, sunlight crept
into a room, warm and polite, but Lilian's eyes snapped
open anyways, because she remembered mana telekinesis, a broom that
actually flew, and a cat who was pretending very hard
to be normal, even though normal cats did not, generally speaking,
help you survive ancient magical trap hauls. The cat was
already sitting on her windowsill, tail wrapped neatly around its paws,
staring at the world like it was waiting for her
to catch up. Lilian sat up slowly, half expecting last
night to have been a dream. She lifted her hand,
pointed it at her pillow, and thought very hard about
the pillow floating up. The pillow rose off the bed,
floated gently, and bobbed her in the face. It didn't
hurt it was a pillow, but it did feel like
magic was laughing at her. Lilian grinned anyways, okay, still
not elegant, but definitely real. A snappy window blinked into view. Congratulations,
Telekinesis has been used skill XP plus one. Lilian blinked, oh,
it keeps score. The cat's ears twitched like it was
trying not to be impressed. Lilian slid out of bed,
got dressed faster than she ever had on a school day,
and tiptoed downstairs. Her parents were already up. They looked
like they'd slept, a sort of like people who'd been
smiling all night while worrying quietly. Her mom turned the
mug in her hand.
Speaker 3: How do you feel?
Speaker 1: Lilian paused dramatically, like she was about to answer a
very important interview. QUI question magical, she said. Her dad
laughed that tracks. Lilian hesitated. I think I'm supposed to
find the next chamber. Her mom's face tightened just a little.
Her dad nodded slowly. We knew that was coming. Lilian
looked down at the cat, who was licking its paws
as if to say, yes, the quest continues. Her mum
disappeared into the pantry and came back holding a small
bundle wrapped in cloth. She handed it to Lilian like
it was treasure. Lilian unwrapped it. Inside was cheese. Not
a slice, not a sprinkle, a whole block of cheese.
Her mum cleared her throat for emergencies. Lilian stared, then
smiled so hard her cheeks that's the best idea anyone's
ever had. Another window flickered in front of her. Congratulations,
you have acquired emergency cheese item type legendary comfort. Lilian's
dad squinted, did the uh chamber just rank my wife's cheese?
Lilian nodded yes, respectfully. Her mom exhaled, Okay, eat breakfast,
then then go so. Lilian ate toast packed water, tucked
the cheese safely into her bag like it was a
sacred artifact, and went outside with her broom. The broom
was leaning against the porch, innocent, looking as if it
hadn't carried her into destiny yesterday. Lilian swung a leg
over it. The cat jumped on behind her as usual,
making the broom immediately feel steadier. Lilian took a breath
and pushed off. The broom rose smoothly this time, no spinning,
no wall bonks, no immediate humiliation. Her eyebrows lifted. Oh,
I think I've improved a snappy window flashed Congratulations, broom
riding has improved stability plus one. Lilian lifted higher above
the rooftops, above the trees, above the sleepy town that
was already starting to look small. Wind brushed her face.
Her stomach fluttered. She was flying, and she wasn't doing
it for fun anymore, not just for fun anyways. It
was still pretty fun. But she flew along the river
like it was a road made of water, following the bends,
the glints of sunlight, the places where the trees leaned
and closer, like they were gossiping with each other or something.
Every so often she practiced. She lifted a leaf and
made it spin with her mind. She nudged a pebble
off a rock and caught it midfall. She floated her
water bottle for a second and very carefully put it
back so she wouldn't spill it all over herself and
have to explain to the cow why she had dumped
all of their hydration. Each time she used helekinesis, the
invisible mind, hand felt a little more solid, a little less,
like trying to hold a slippery fish with the thought.
Then near midday she saw it, half buried in moss
at the edge of a ravine, a stone archway carved
with the same lightning symbols. The air around it smelled spicy,
like hot peppers, like pizza that dared you to take
a bite. Lilian knew that the world system had a
way of adapting to the challenger, and in her case,
it had clearly picked up on her love for pizza.
She landed beside the gate, heart beating fast. The cat
hopped off first, walked right towards the arch, like it
had a map in its head, and paused beneath the stone.
It looked back at Lilian, just as it had the
first time. Lilian swallowed okay. Trial two, she stepped forward.
The world tilted, darkness flickered. Then he'd slammed into her,
as if she'd walked into the mouth of an oven.
She stood in a stone corridor draped with red banners.
Torches burned along the walls, steady and bright. The floor
was carved with grooves that looked suspiciously like tracks for
swinging things. And above her, the same dramatic voice boomed
as cheerful as ever. Trial to the Peppergate Gauntlet. A
snappy window appeared again. Congratulations, you have entered trial to
objective advance, adapt and don't get sliced, Lilian muttered. At last,
part is oddly specific. The corridor clicked. A huge blade
swung down from the ceiling, on a chain. It was
shaped like a pizza cutter, the size of a wagon wheel.
Lilian yelped and leapt back. The cutter womped into the
stone floor and swung back up again, then down again,
like the hallway was trying to chop the air into
neat portions. Lilian's hands lifted instinctively telekinesis mind hand. She
reached out and caught the cutter at the top of
its arc. For half a second. It stopped, then fought back, heavy,
swinging and determined. Lilian's teeth clenched. Okay, okay, fine, I
won't stop you. I'll just politely slow you down. She
shifted her grip, not holding it still, just guiding it,
nudging the swing just enough to create a gap. She
ducked under the cutter as it passed, slid forward, and
slipped through The cat padded calmly behind her, timing its
steps like this was a casual walk. The next cutter came,
Lilian slowed it and slid past as well. The next.
The next she got faster and more confident, like her
brain was learning the rhythm. Halfway down the corridor, the
system window flashed again. Congratulations, Telekinesis has improved to level two.
Lilian exhaled sharply yes. The cat flicked its tail once,
like it was saying about time. The corridor opened into
a wider chamber that looked like a dining hall after
a disaster. There were tables overturned, chairs scattered, a few
plates broken on the floor, and something moving. Figures rose
from behind the furniture. Humanoid shapes made of pale dough,
wearing scorched aprons, holding rolling pins like clubs. Lilian's stomach dropped. Okay,
combat one charged her rolling pin, raised Lilian's mind hand
snapped out. The rolling pin yanked out of its grip
and smacked into the wall with a hollow thunk. The
dough creature blinked, looked at its empty hand, and seemed
genuinely confused. Lilian almost laughed sorry. Another one hurled a
rolling pin toward her face. Lilian yelped, caught it mid
air using her telekinesis, and whipped its sideways. It balked
the thrower in the chest. Dough rippled. The creature staggered
back and looked rather offended. The cat darted forward, lowed
the ground, weaving between legs and furniture, and very neatly
tripped and doe creature at the knees. Lilian stared for
one second too long. You are not just a cat.
The cat didn't answer, but its posture somehow screamed. Focus less, talking,
more moving. Lilian advanced. She use telekinesis to fling chairs
into barriers, to yank weapons away, to knock enemies off
balance without crushing them. She didn't want to destroy them.
They felt more like defenders than villains. At the far
end of the room stood a tall armored figure with
a visor dripping red. A knight, a sauce Knight. It
raised its shield and splashed sauce in a wide arc.
Lilian recoiled as the sticky warmth of the sauce dotted
her cheeks. Oh grouse. She grabbed a serving tray off
at table with telekinesis and held it in front of
her like a floating shield. The sauce Knight charged, Lilian
yanked its sword armed sideways. The sword slammed into the
stone pillar and stuck. The knight struggled. Lilian pulled the
shield away with her mind hand, like she was stealing
the lid off a pot. The night wobbled, suddenly defenseless
without its defenses. The cat leapt up onto the Knight's
shoulder and hissed right into its helmet. The night froze
like its programming had just hid an error message. Lilian
slipped past it, breathing hard, heart pounding, but smiling anyways,
because she was doing it. She was getting through the trial.
At the end of the corridor sat a stone pedestal,
and on the pedestal was a pizza. It glowed faintly red.
It shimmered with chilly oil. The air around it smelled
like peppers and daring. A snappy window blinked congratulations reward,
identified spicy pizza, warning it bites back. Lilian swallowed, I
can take it. The cat stared at her like it
had heard that sentence right before disaster many times. Lilian
picked up the slice and took a bite. He'd exploded
across her tongue. Lilian made a sound that was not
a word, and definitely expressed regret. Then warmth surged down
into her chest like a furnace, igniting. The torches flared,
the red banners rippled, and the voice boomed overhead. Delighted Congratulations,
you have acquired firecraft one new skill, firebolt one passive
spice tolerance one. Lilian stared at her fingertips. A tiny
ember danced across them like it had been waiting for permission.
She grinned through the burn. Okay, she whispered, Now we're
getting somewhere. Lilian stayed in the peppergate chamber for just
long enough to stop making the my tongue is on fireface,
which took a while. She sipped water, fanned her mouth dramatically,
and stared at her hands like they belonged to someone else.
A tiny ember danced across her fingertips, bright and obedient,
as if it had been waiting its whole life to
be useful. Lilian whispered, okay, firebolt. She flicked her fingers.
A little bead of flame popped into existence, shot forward
and hit the stone wall with a harmless It left
a tiny scorch mark the size of a cookie that
was adorable. Lilian said. A snappy window flashed, congratulations, firebolt
has been used. Scale xp plus one. Lilian grinned and
tried again. This time, the flame went further and left
a bigger mark. The cat watched with the expression of
someone observing a child discovering a flashlight. Lilian lowered her hands.
I know, I know, I'm powerful now. The cat's tail
flicked like you're warm, not wise. The chamber's red banners fluttered,
and the corridor behind the pedestal shimmered open into an exit.
Lilian hopped onto her broom, the cat leapt on behind her,
and they passed through the world tilted once again, and
then they were back outside. Standing at the mossy archway
in the real world, wind cool against her cheeks, Lilian
took one breath and laughed quietly, because the forest felt
like it was listening. She had telekinesis, she had fire.
She had a cat who was definitely a cat and
not absolutely something ancient and mysterious and possibly terrifying. Right.
They traveled for days, not long, exhausting days, because Lillian
was ten and the trials were important, but so was
eating snacks and not falling asleep mid air. They flew
over rolling hills and bright rivers. They followed old stone
markers half buried in the ground, carved with the same
lightning symbol as the arches. Sometimes Lilian landed to rest
and practiced her powers like it was a training game.
She made her water bottle float while she walked. She
used telekinesis to pull her bag closer instead of bending down.
She lit tiny fire sparks to warm her hands when
the wind got cold. Each time, the system rewarded her
with quick little flashes Congratulations, telekinesis has been used, skal
xp plus one. Congratulations firecraft has been used scale xp
plus one. It was kind of satisfying. It was also
kind of annoying because it made her feel like the
universe was watching her do just normal stuff like carrying
a snack, but Lilian couldn't deny it. She was getting better.
By the third day, she could hold two things at
once with telekinesis, as long as they were kind of small.
By the fourth day, her fire bolts stopped being adorable
and started being slightly intimidating. Then the weather changed. The
air turned colder, the sky turned pale, the wind started
smelling like snow, even though it wasn't winter yet. Lilian
flew lower, squinting into the distance ahead. A mountain range
rose like a row of sleeping giants, and tucked into
a narrow pass between two peaks. She saw it a
stone archway, bigger than the others. It shimmered faintly like
cold light. Even from far away, she could feel it.
It was the next chamber. The cat sat up straighter
behind her ears angled forward as if it recognized a
place it didn't want to say out loud. Lilian slowed
her broom and landed near the archway. The stone was
frosted over, even though the ground around it was mostly bare.
Lilian rubbed her arms. Okay, that's chilly. A window popped
up once again. Congratulations, you have discovered a trial chamber.
Ambient effect cold drain. Lilian frowned, cold drain. That doesn't
sound good. The dramatic voice boomed Trial three, the freezer cathedral.
A window opened again. Congratulations, you have entered Trial three.
Objective control, combine endure. Lilian's breath puffed out a white cloud.
She stood in a massive hall made of ice blue stone.
Tall pillars rose into darkness above. The frost clung to
everything like glitter. The sound of the place was quiet,
not peaceful, quiet, more like the world is holding its
breath quiet. The cat walked forward, pause, silent on the stone.
Lilian followed, gripping her broom like it was a comfort
item and also possibly a weapon. A soft hum began,
almost too load, and notice it wasn't coming from any
one direction, it was everywhere. Her eyelids felt heavier, her
shoulders felt heavier, even her thoughts felt like they were
moving through syrup. She blinked hard. Okay, that's not fair.
A window flashed open. Congratulations, you have encountered frost, hum
effect stamin a drain. Lilian swallowed. So we're doing the
sleepy dungeon. The hall split into a maze, and the
maze had mirrors, not normal mirrors, tall ice smooth walls
that reflected like glass, except the reflections weren't always right.
And one mirror she looked older, wearing a cloak and
a crown made of pepperoni slices, and another she looked
small again, five years old, holding out crusts to a
wild cat in the woods. And another she looked like
she was made of ash. Her stomach tightened. Okay, she muttered,
that's rude. The cat brushed against her leg, steady and warm.
Lilian took a breath, then reached out with her telekinesis
and lifted a small pebble from the floor. She tossed
it down one corridor. The pebble clinked. The echo sounded wrong,
as if it bounced too quickly. Fake, Lilian whispered. She
tossed another pebble down a different corridor, the echo deeper, slower, real,
she whispered. She guided them through by sound, not sight,
ignoring the mirrors as best she could, and somehow it
worked until something drifted out of the shadows, a shape
like fog, like snow, like a ghost made of cold.
Then another, then three. They weren't walking, they were floating,
gliding silently to water ice wraiths. Lilian's hand lifted instinctively
fire bolt. She flicked her fingers, a flame shot forward
and hit the first wraith. The wraith hissed, not a
sound exactly, more like a sudden pop and temperature. Its
form broke apart, like smoke. Yes, she said. Then the
cold mist gathered again. The thing re formed, whole and angrier, looking.
Her smile vanished. Oh no. The cat's tail puffed slightly,
like it had been waiting for this part. Lilian backed up. Okay,
so fire disperses but doesn't finish them off. She scanned
the floor quickly near one pillar. Half buried in frost
were blocks of something pale salt. Because, of course, the
chamber had provided an answer, like had always did, Lilian
grabbed a salt block with her telekinesis and hurled it forward.
It slammed through the first wraith. This time, the wraith shuddered,
its edges tearing like fabric. Lilian immediately followed with a
fire bolt. The wraith broke apart and stayed apart. Her
eyes wide and salt plus fire yes science. A snappy
window flashed Congratulations, combo discovered purge burst salt plus firecraft
equals wraith disruption. Lilian didn't have time to celebrate. There
were more to destroy. She grabbed another salt block, then
another to at once. Telekinese is strained, but she held
a snappy window blinked as she did it. Congratulations, Telekinesis
have as improved to level three, multi holed, unlocked for
small items. Lilian gasped, oh, thank you. She launched the
salt blocks, followed with quick firebolts, clearing a path forward.
The cat raced beside her, low and fast, occasionally battling
a wraith like it was a particularly rude snowflake they
reached the end of the mirror maze and burst into
a wide chamber. The ceiling soared up like a cathedral,
and in the center of the chamber stood something huge,
a golum. Only it looked like it had been built
from frozen dessert and ice, layers of pale blue, white,
and pink, like a giant Gelado statue. It turned its
head slowly. Its eyes glowed cold. The frost hum deepened,
and Lilian's knees felt wobbly. The golum raised an arm.
Lilian lifted both hands, tele the canese is snapping out
like chains. She tried to pin its arms. The golam
moved anyways, heavy and unstoppable. Lilian's broom skittered backwards on
the icy floor like it wanted to leave. Lilian's heart hammered, Nope, nope,
I'm not losing here. She fired a fire bolt at
the golum's elbow joint. The flame sizzled and steam puffed up,
but the golum didn't fall. It did slow, however, Lilian
fired again, Steam rose, the gelato's surface softened slightly. The
golams swung. Lilian threw herself aside, sliding across the icy
floor and barely stopping before she hit a pillar. The
cad hissed leapt forward and clawed at the Golum's ankle,
like it was trying to trap a giant. The golum
barely noticed. Then it raised its arm again. This time
it was aimed right at Lilian. The frost hum pressed
down on her like a heavy blanket. Her stamina felt
like it was draining through her shoes. Lilian tried to
lift her hands, tried to grab the arm with telekinesis,
but her mind sort of slipped. The Golum's arm came down,
Her eyes widened, and the cat shot forward. It planted
itself between Lilian and the falling blow, and for the
first time, the cat's shadow did not match its body.
It stretched, it expanded, it grew, fur surged outwards like
a storm cloud, and the air itself seemed to shift
to make room. In the span of a heartbeat, the small,
scruffy cat became something enormous, a titan cat, bigger than
a hoarse shoulders, rippling with muscle, eyes glowing with ancient light.
It roared, not a normal roar, but a sound that
felt like a command. The golums arms slammed down onto
the Titan cats raised paw and stopped, just stopped, like
the universe had suddenly decided the cat had priority. A
window flashed congratulations, Guardian protocol activated, companion form, titaned, Guardian
Cat limited. Lilian stared, mouth opened. The Titan cat glanced
back at her, and even in that giant, terrifying form,
its expression still somehow said now do your part. Lilian's
brain clicked into place. Okay, she whispered, Yes, I can
do my part. She surged to her feet, sliding on
the ice, and threw telekinesis around the Golum's legs, tight
like convisible ropes. She fired a firebolt at the same
softened joint. Again, steam erupted. The Golum's knee buckled. The
Titan cat lunged, shoved the Golam's sideways, and slammed it
into the stone floor with a thundering crash. The frost
hum faltered. Lilian didn't waste the opening. She grabbed a
huge salt black with telekinesis barely holding it and slammed
it into the Golum's chest. Then she fired one last
fire bolt into the crack it made. The golam shuddered,
Its glow flickered, and it collapsed into a heap of
frozen dessert rubble. Silence fell. The titan cat stood over
the pile, breathing slowly. Then it shrank, fur folding inward,
shadow compressing. In seconds, the giant guardian was gone. The small,
scruffy cat was back, sitting neatly on the icy floor,
as if nothing dramatic had happened at all. Lilian stared
at it. The cat just licked its paw and rubbed
it over its head. Lilian's voice came out very small,
You are you're a guardian? The cat blinked once, which
was absolutely a yes. A stone pedestal rose from the
floor at the far end of the chamber, as if
the chamber had been waiting politely for the fighting to stop.
On it sat a pizza, A frozen pizza, frost rimmed
the crust, snowflake like roans shimmered in the cheese. Lilian
stepped closer, shivering. A window appeared. Congratulations reward identified frozen pizza,
warning cold truth ahead, called truth. Why does everything have
to sound so ominous? She picked up a slice and
bit it was colder than it should have been. Then
the cold spread through her chest like a new kind
of fire. Sharp, clean and bright frost sparkled along her
finger tips. A breath escaped her lips in a glittering puff,
and the voice boomed overhead, Congratulations, you have acquired cry omancy.
One new skill, frostbind one. Lilian stared at her hands.
Tiny ice crystals formed and danced in the air. Then
she looked at the cat. The cat sat beside her,
calm as ever, but this time Lilian understood. It hadn't
followed her because it liked her house. It hadn't stayed
because she fed it. It stayed because it was meant to,
because she was meant to. Lilian swallowed, feeling the cold
magic settle inside her like a new star. Okay, she whispered,
Now we're getting.
Speaker 3: Somewhere, an.
Speaker 1: Inn ne more unionism of thing.